Confronting Without Offending

by Deborah Smith Pegues, Charles E. Blake (Foreword)

How to approach others about disagreements, conflicts etc. and come to peaceful resolutions without hurt feelings.

Genres: Self Help, Christian, Leadership, Relationships, Nonfiction

56 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2009

Reviews

[Annie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of good, practical advice in this book which I really appreciated, and it was super easy to read. I did have to roll my eyes at a lot of the examples used (women nagging, women dressed immodestly, men not helping with chores) but I think this book was published in 1982? So product of the times, and doesn’t take away from the good advice in the book.

[E. Italia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Un libro necesario para los conflictos del día a día en nuestros ámbitos de la vida. A través de este libro la autora nos enseña con múltiples ejemplos bíblicos y no bíblicos cómo podemos responder y enfrentar un conflicto sin generar un problema mayor. Me gusta que divide a la persona que gestiona el conflicto en tres tipos: el dictador, el acomodador y el abdicador, (ejemplo tangible Sara, Abraham y Agar respectivamente) y como en algún momento todos hemos sido alguno de los tres. Viene lleno de mucha sabiduría bíblica para esos temas incómodos que no nos atrevemos a confrontar. Considero es necesario releerlo, para siempre recordar esos principios.

[Natalya · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are good ideas and advice in Pegues book. The pros did not make up for the cons. Ultimately I had to give her a lower rating because she comes too close to pseudo-science, gives bad advice to victims, and forces modern business ideas into biblical events. In Pegues book, Hagar should have confronted Sarah for how she was being mistreated instead of fleeing - which might work in today's business world but would not have work for Hagar in an ancient slave/master society. If an author is going to use the Bible to draw leadership examples, understanding context is absolutely necessary. The book also lacked a section that dealt with what victims should do to protect themselves against abusers. The few times she touched on it the advice was questionable or downright inadvisable.
As for the pros, there were a few character types that I thought were helpful and I really liked the "I" statements. Ultimately I wouldn't recommend this book - there are other better conflict resolution sources.

[Jennifer Tse · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading it and her good examples on how to resolve conflicts. Conflicts are always very difficult and there is a strong fear of the relationship growing distant after confrontation. I would have liked more guidance as to when to confront and when to let things go. God commands us to give grace and love people as we love ourselves, and most people don't enjoy hearing about their issues as they probably already know. At the same time, it's also not good to not say anything and have the anger explode.

[Camy An · Rating 3 out of 5]

Though I think this is worth reading, I didn't come away from it with new information on how to approach confrontation. Deborah Pegues is a smart, confident, and experienced businesswoman with a lot to teach. As far as dealing with confrontations, Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend is still my favorite.

[Theresa Slocum · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful!

I love the biblical references to the character traits and associated actions. I will re-read and continue to improve my communication with others. Shared this book with 3 people.

[Stephanie Watkins Alexander · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written! Instead of just stating facts along with do's and don'ts this book gave good practical ways to identify strengths and weakness in relationship communication. Followed by ways to implement these in different areas of your life.

[Lisa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Suggested reading for work. I was not a fan of the author's writing.

[Rachelle Dennis · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book and an easy read!

[Shelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply written and great strategies!!

This is a great resource for those that tend to stir away from confrontation out of fear AND those that struggle with how to confront tactfully. Deborah Pegues does an excellent job giving real life examples of when confrontation may be needed and how to effectively do so without making the situation worse as a result of the confrontation.

I plan to re-read this book over again and again! Make sure to take the time to take the quiz on determine your personality type.

[Mona Randall · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing read. I like that "confrontation" actually means a FACE TO FACE TALK, not the negative meaning that it carries today. It has great scenarios to practice confronting methods. I'm using the sandwich method on my cat, she's a sloppy eater. Go forth and confront with gentleness and respect.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really interesting concepts and looking forward to trying to use these concepts in my relationships!

[Johnathan Nazarian · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little slow to read, but has great concepts and advice. Would love to see this simplified in a re-write it perhaps a lesson series to teach this to leadership teams.

[Judy · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great little book! Packed with step by step ways to confront the right way. Knowing that confrontation does come with a risk, but that we are only responsible for our responses and not someone else's... Stop being a victim and feel empowered instead.