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The Girl's Guide to Absolutely Everything

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A COLOSSAL CHEAT SHEET FOR YOUR postcollege years. Finally, all the needs of the modern girl―from the benefits of a Roth IRA to the pleasure and pain of dating (and why it’s not a cliché to love yourself first), from figuring out what to wear to a job interview to the delicate enterprise of defriending―are addressed in one rollicking volume. Here is the perfect combination of solid advice and been-there secrets for every one of life’s conundrums you might confront, all delivered in Melissa Kirsch’s fresh, personal, funny voice, as if your best and smartest friend were giving you the best and smartest advice in the world.

640 pages, Paperback

First published November 16, 2006

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1718 people want to read

About the author

Melissa Kirsch

6 books23 followers
Melissa Kirsch is the author of The Girl's Guide , the definitive bible for navigating your 20s, now with 100,000 copies in print and just out in an updated + revised edition (2015).

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5 stars
222 (39%)
4 stars
169 (30%)
3 stars
133 (23%)
2 stars
22 (3%)
1 star
17 (3%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews
39 reviews
March 4, 2009
Confession: my college roommate and dear friend wrote this book. I am quoted in this book. Nonetheless, it is an amazing book! Here's the thing: no one told you that coming out of college would be a time replete with strange feelings of ambivalence, anxiety, a sense of "this is it? what do I know?" For me, it was one of the most difficult periods of my life. And now my dear friend has gone and written a book about how to deal with it. Melissa truly has a gift with words and wit, and you, too, will feel like you're friends with her.

Perfect for any young woman graduating from college or going through a "quarter-life crisis," as they're being called now. This is the kind of book you can sit down to, open up any page, laugh, relate, and get good solid steps about how to get through your latest dilemma. Not just an advice book, but a funny, witty look at what it means to become a grown-up and how to do it.
Profile Image for Amanda [Novel Addiction].
3,542 reviews97 followers
May 4, 2015
This book had some good information, though I can see it being better for those in their senior year of Highschool or heading into college.. or maybe even right after college, when "real life" begins. But there was very little in here that I didn't already know, and the one section I was really interested in was painfully short.
Profile Image for ADHD Librarian .
8 reviews
January 9, 2015
Usually I couldn't care less about self-help/guidebooks. They all have a different formula to sell to make you into your perfect self, or offer advice based off the authors own miserable mistakes - frankly I’m usually not interested. Having said this, The Girl’s Guide to Absolutely Everything by Melissa Kirsch feels like my own personal Hitchhiker’s Guide to Galaxy and I highly recommend it (both actually).

I picked up this book out curiosity thinking: "I'm an adult, what could this book possibly tell me that I don't already know or that I couldn't find on the internet," but after looking at the table of contents I was intrigued. Kirch highlights almost every random question I've had. So I started reading it and was hooked by page 10.

Kirsch takes every question you've ever had about life and lays out it in an eloquently written guide - Questions you were too embarrassed to ask your mom or too proud to ask your friends about. For example, how do you know when you need therapy, and if you’re considering therapy, what type do you need? What kind of health care do you need to have? How can you improve your body image? How can you nail a job interview every time? Is grad school for you? What kind of budget do you need? Are your id and superego controlling your spending habits? Do you need an 401k, an IRA, or something else? Are credit cards a gateway drug to debt? Are stocks something you should get involved with? What are some etiquette essentials? Are you a good friend? How do you make new friends or eliminate toxic ones? When is a friendship worth saving? Can you do long distance relationships?

Kirsch covers a lot in this massive tome, but it was a quick read and didn't feel arduous to me.

Kirsch discusses these questions along with input from professionals in their given fields. For example, when Kirsch deals with body image, health care, and mental health, she has quotes and opinions from gynecologists, nutritionists, Chinese medicine experts, psychiatrists, therapists, and more. This diverse and reliable input allows the reader to understand some of the solutions to the questions discussed in a more comprehensive manner. For example, when discussing 4 ways to make cramps more manageable, Kirsch gets a nutritionist to illustrate the benefits to taking a combination of primrose, borage, and fish oil to combat PMS symptoms. The gynecologist says to give up ice cream, cottage cheese, and yogurt, because a dairy fast can give some women a reprieve from menstrual symptoms. The Chinese medicine expert recommends staying away from cold things (ice cream, cold packs, etc.) because coldness obstructs blood and chi flows, so use warm things (hot packs, tea, application of warm herbs to the abdomen, etc.) to restore balance to your body/soul. Finally the crampologist recommends ibuprofen, a heating pad on the pelvis, and a heat pack to stick under your clothes during the day.

Kirsch truly covers a lot of ground in this book, and it would be impossible for me to discuss all of it here. However, I’ll try to touch on some of my favorite bits.

When discussing stress and getting the blues, Kirsch tells the reader to try talking it out with a friend or family member to get perspective, write down what you are feeling, and most importantly don’t suppress what you are feeling. She states “We wouldn't appreciate our good moods if we didn't acknowledge our bad ones.” Kirsch also tells the reader to consider therapy if you’re stress or blues are persistent. Kirsch outlines some of the reason someone might get therapy, the various types of therapy and what issues they are used to treat, and how long you could expect to be in therapy in these therapies.

The woman’s sexual bill of rights is another section of this book I liked the most. Some of these “inalienable rights” include the freedom of speech, a woman’s right to sexual pleasure shall not be infringed or limited, the missionary position should never be assumed (any position should be fair game), a woman is entitled to stop any sexual contact “that makes her feel like a blow-up doll,” women are different and respond differently to sexual experiences, all partners should have a clean sexual bill of health, women can do what they want with their own pubic hair, orgasms don’t determine success, and finally hygiene before or after are with the woman’s rights.

In addition to the Sexual Bill of Rights, Kirsch provides an awesome list of women reading materials, a few of which are: The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex by Cathy Winks and Anne Semans, The Clitoral Truth by Rebecca Chalker, and How to be a Good Lover by Lou Paget. There is also a very interesting question and answer section, and information about birth control and STDs.

"Home Ec for Modern Times" was a chapter in this book that covered homemaking tips that your mother didn't teach you. Kircsh discusses how to find an apartment or home to live that fits you budget (noting that you your rent or mortgage should be no more than 25% of your gross monthly income), what to look for during an inspection, do you need renter’s insurance, and how to sign a lease. Kirsch talks about quick and easy ways to keep house, like creating an installment plan to keep your apartment spotless, which involves cleaning in installments (one task a day, 15 minutes a day, or one room a day) and this will help you stay either tidy, clean, or spotless. Kirsch also discusses how to hire a housekeeper if needed and how much you should pay him or her (and tip!).

Finally, "Fashion Sense for Any Era" was a chapter where Kirsch discusses the importance of not following trends and dressing to your figure. Kirsch talks about finding foundation items that are comfortable, dependable, and solidly constructed. Foundation items are: a good pair of black pants, a little black dress, a classic cut skirt, jeans that fit you to perfection, a white button down, or a solid colored cardigan. Kirsch also discusses a cost per wear equation. Cost per wear is the cost of garment divided by the number of times you wear the garment. If you spend $200 on a pair of pants and wear it at least twice a week all fall and winter (about 64 times), you are spending $3.13 per wear. Conversely a pair of pants that costs $29.99 that you wore four times costs $7.50 per wear. Additionally Kirsch provides advice from an image consultant who gives some very interesting insight in to dressing common sense and how to figure out what looks best on your body type; for example if you have short legs you could balance it by wearing heels, high-waisted dresses, or dresses that hit just above the knee, but you should avoid low-rise pants, flats, and ankle straps.

There are of course many other interesting sections to this book, that I haven’t talked about, but it is a very long book. Despite its length, it is a quick read, and its ok to skip around depending on your problem or interest.

I would recommend this book ladies in high school, college, 20-somethings, middle-aged women, and to the classy ladies in the red hat society. I would recommend this book to fathers, brothers, and husbands. This is officially the first self-help/guidebook I enjoyed and will probably reference back to when my friends or I am having a problem.
89 reviews7 followers
May 14, 2013
Are you floudering through your 20s? Do you know a girl who's about to graduate college? Are you wondering how the hell you move from college student to adult? (It is not a short or simple process, btw). This is a MUST HAVE book.

True story: I got this book for free because I had to write a publicity piece for it for a job interview test. I never heard back from them, but they let me keep the book. Worth it? ABSOLUTELY. I've had this book for close to 7 years, and I still refer to it pretty frequently. It really teaches you how to begin the path to be an Independent Woman. It's straight-forward, it's funny, it's relatable; honestly, I can't think of a negative thing to say about it. Admittedly, a lot of the information is common sense and a lot of it can be found easily on any web page (health and fashion, especially) but other chapters I go back to quite often. Money, manners, home...this is stuff that I think most girls don't really think about right after college, and it's a shame, because they really should.

A lot of books out there tell young women how to make their 20s fabulous. Know what this book says? The 20s are HARD and CONFUSING and it's OK to feel overwhelmed and lost. But that is not an excuse to be late on bills, skip doctor appointments, or resort to retail therapy when you're upset. This is definitely a "this is the beginning of the rest of your life, now suck it up, deal with it, and get ready to face everything head on" book.

Love this book.

Profile Image for Deb.
278 reviews8 followers
May 31, 2007
this book is packed with information on how to live independantly--though there's a chapter on moving back in with the parents that starts off saying "don't do it. couch surf first." There are chapters on health, finances (beyond OMG a budget!), the etiquette that your mother never taught you or you just ignored, getting along with your family, dating/flinging, cooking, spirituality, just about everything. It's a lot more useful than the powderpuff "Tough Chick's Guide to Home Improvement" that I received last Christmas...
2 reviews
December 30, 2014
Love love love this book! Would recommend it to any girl graduating high school or finishing college.
Profile Image for Beth.
Author 5 books7 followers
October 2, 2020
Wandering the aisles of the library, I stumbled across this book, and the title grabbed me.  At almost 500 pages I was feeling pretty good about the title, and in truth, this is a quick, informative guide to life.  I really appreciated how Melissa Kirsch broke out the chapters.  Covering everything from home purchasing, renting, health, fashion, and money plus much, much more this book lives up to its title.

As I read, I kept thinking, this would be an excellent graduation gift for single women leaving college.  The chapters address finding a good doctor, balancing a checkbook, questions to ask a roommate and stocking a kitchen.  There is an explanation of mutual funds, 401K, getting along with co-workers, and tons and tons of money saving tips.

Kirsch writes very bluntly and honestly.  I love that.  Why beat around the bush concerning vital topics to life?  Kirsch has definitely written this book for the secular population.  Each chapter includes information from multiple experts, all of them different from each other.  I appreciate that the book is not meant to steer women down a specific path, but to give them information so they can make informed decisions in life.  That being said, I found the chapters on spiritual life and sex to be way to liberal.  Covering things from being open minded to the drunken hookup, I would not give this book to any of the girls I mentor.  If I could eliminate those chapters, I would buy it in bulk!
Profile Image for Lejla Džanko.
104 reviews20 followers
January 3, 2019
It's not a very fun book to read, and I absolutely hated the Serbian translation. (The translator translates phrases literally when she doesn't know the meaning?!)
I got it as a birthday present when I was 17, flicked through it but didn't really linger on it.
Now that I am the target audience (girl in her mid-twenties, making steps towards independence and stuff) I really appreciate all the good, concrete advice put together in this book. Some of it is not applicable as it is relevant to US citizens only (here I think the publisher should have asked for permission to rewrite the chapters with experts from their countries - why do I need to read about the US 401(k) system?! - but that's just me), some I don't agree with, but most of it is practical, well-written and universal.
Thank you, Melissa Kirsch!
Profile Image for Jezzeri.
597 reviews1 follower
January 15, 2026
Live your life for something that will outlast you. Your career should make the world a better place. Recognize that you are a part of something larger: your actions, however small or large, bad or good, affect others and the world around you. Always express gratitude. Never underestimate the power of a sincere apology; do it as soon as possible. Always help others. Forgive yourself. Listen before you speak. Be authentic and direct in communication. Listen to other people's stories and try to find the good in others.

Take care of your health, body, and body image. Save and steward your finances. Have etiquette.
Profile Image for Patricia.
270 reviews1 follower
July 28, 2021
This is an amazing book and an excellent gift for a graduate or any young woman starting her career. It covers subjects from health and self-care to careers, finance, friends, family & romance, to how to manage your own expenses and home life. It is very respectful of all lifestyles and religions, while giving great etiquette tips. I wishI had had a book like this when I was in my twenties, but much of the friendship, health and banking advice is good for any age.
1 review
May 30, 2025
This book has a lot of liberal agenda and the author's own opinions mixed in, which is to be expected to some degree, but it's not a book for every girl as the name implies. If you are a Christian, don't get this book as it doesn't have a place on your shelf. It looked interesting and I thought it would be a useful resource for the teen girls I mentor but unfortunately I had to throw it away. As the review on the cover says, "irreverent" but not as it says, "funny and wise".
Profile Image for Courtney :).
28 reviews
March 27, 2025
a good, well-rounded introduction to the many tasks and requirements of being an adult. there are a handful of sections i bookmarked for future reference - though a handful of others that felt quite dated compared to the last time this book was updated? it also felt veryyyy long, and some parts/sections could’ve been cut out imo - but overall a fine self-help book
Profile Image for Tiandra.
78 reviews4 followers
April 11, 2019
This book is definitely for young women coming into their own.
Profile Image for Olivia Anderson.
22 reviews3 followers
June 4, 2020
A lot of good information in this book and I enjoyed skipping around to the different parts that were most applicable for me!
Profile Image for Laura.
45 reviews11 followers
March 9, 2008
i will admit upfront that i did not read this book from cover to cover. i think that is the beauty about a "guide" book. i read the chapters that were specific to things i was interested in learning more about -- careers, home cleaning/cooking, money managing. it also had some great online resources, and some other books referenced, which are now on my library list.

a lot of the material in this book was similar to the graduation book that wash u gave me, but it was more humorous and of course geared towards young women.

worth a browse for any 20-something.
Profile Image for Lauren H.
11 reviews3 followers
September 25, 2007
yeah, i know.

it's one of those books. but i've genuinely found it helpful on more than a few occasions. while i sincerely doubt that any volume at all can every succinctly address every situation you might ever face from any and all perspectives, it's a worthy bookshelf sitter (even if you might keep it hidden somewhere else instead).

it's genuine and not at all chic-lit-y, thank god. it's started me on the path to opening an IRA, not telling me how to snap my gum and bemoan the lack of available men in a cheeky, yet lovable, tone.

i just wish it were spiral bound.
57 reviews
December 2, 2008
I love this book! I've had my local library's copy hostage for the past two months. It provides information on everything from building a good credit history, job interviewing skills, dating advice, how to pick out a good haircut, how to deal with your family, how to roast a chicken and how to deal with a clogged drain. The best part is that it's written in a fun conversational tone, like having a sassy big sister in book form.
11 reviews
August 13, 2007
I thought this one was pretty good, but not really worth re-reading. It had some helpful tips for a variety of things, but I realized after buying it that's it's primarily aimed at post-university American women, so a lot of the hints didn't help me (as a 17-year-old Canadian) very much. Overall, not bad, easy-to-read, quite interesting.
Profile Image for Zoey.
182 reviews
September 29, 2012
“A fun and immensely practical read. Everything you wish someone had told you about navigating "real life" in your 20s--buying a car, being a house guest, relating to your parents, conducting yourself at work. Too bad that I disagree so strongly with her advice about relationships and spirituality, b/c those are 2 of the most crucial areas. Still, one to keep.”
Profile Image for Gloria Yasmin.
8 reviews
February 24, 2013
Such a helpful book. You may think you don't need a guide and of course, you don't have to take everything from the book only the bits and pieces that you found to be truly fitting for your life, but for me this was a great book. It felt as though the things found in this book would be similar to the things my older sister would have informed me about, if I had a sister.
Profile Image for Courtney Chappell.
1,036 reviews3 followers
January 20, 2016
I found most of this advice to just be common sense or things I already know. The sections I found most intriguing were manners and home. I don't think I would ever really refer back to this book, as the few things I would use could just be found on the internet again. But it was certainly a fun read.
Profile Image for Jen.
43 reviews1 follower
February 20, 2008
I picked this up after wandering around the store and it had some really helpful info. I prob would have appreciate the book a lil more had I been in college or just graduated. It gives great advice on manners, credit, health...it's really a good chick encyclopedia.
15 reviews3 followers
April 2, 2008
Seriously EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW and more then you ever thought you did. Excellent information on every venue of a young woman's life. Money, family, dating, sex, health, career, style, even a little home economics...and I'm not talking "how to sew a scrunchie".
Profile Image for Kimberly.
32 reviews3 followers
August 5, 2008
I read this at the suggestion of one of my coworkers. It has some things that are good to know and may be good as a reference guide for a college age girl etc. but it has bad language and some other references that I did not like.
Profile Image for Linda.
6 reviews7 followers
November 20, 2008
every college-aged girl needs this book! a guide that covers everything from health to how to clean an oven properly to professionally resigning from a position. a great resource - this will be sitting on my bookshelf long past my college years.
Profile Image for Aimee.
18 reviews
December 8, 2008
I love this book. It's a great "a little about everything" book without being too simplistic. She also gives websites and references if you want to find out more about the topic as she admits in the intro that she can't cover EVERYTHING.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews

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