I Want My Life Back

by Steve Hamilton, Alison Lowry (With)

This book follows Steve Hamilton's addiction through the drug underworld of South Africa, to the time he was pronounced clinically dead, and into the first steps of recovery and the founding of Narcotics Anonymous.

Steve Hamilton is a living metaphor for addiction--and ultimately recovery. A hardened addict in his teens, Hamilton had a heroin habit that led him deep into the drug underworld of South Africa. It took eleven stays at institutions and three times being pronounced clinically dead before Hamilton took his first earnest steps toward recovery. Hamilton eventually became a founding member of Narcotics Anonymous in South Africa and has since counseled addicts in treatment clinics. "That's the trouble with drugs. None of it is real in the end. The whole thing is one big lie. I wish every day that I could start over, turn back the damn clock and see what the real Steve was like and what he could have accomplished without his dangerous toys and dubious playmates. That's another reason why I want my life back."

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Memoir

392 pages, Paperback

First published August 11, 2003

Reviews

[Lianne Godfrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Now this is a book about drugs that I’ll give to my son to read one day. Who am I to tell him drugs is not the way to go? Rather, get an addict to tell him. A rehabilitated one, that is.. if there is such a thing. Because Steve Hamilton explains like no other that once addicted to drugs, you’ll always be tempted to try ‘one more time’. He also explains that there is nothing else in life that feels as good as being high. But that once addicted, there are only two feelings: high or craving. And that is imprisonment in itself. An imprisonment worse than prison - another place Steve has been and even though his prison experience was too painful to get into in the book, he describes it as worse than all terrible movies on the subject and worse than your wildest imagination. Yet he’s still choose prison over the life sentence his drug addiction has given him.
Yet the most valuable lesson Steve Hamilton needs to teach my son - and other young people, tempted to get high ‘now and then’ - while some people are able to have that ‘one experience’, or ‘only smoke weed’, there’s another group that goes from one to the other: from alcohol to cigarettes to weed to cocaine to heroine to... and you never know which group of the two you’ll find yourself in.
A real eye opener, and so different to all other books I’ve read on the subject. Steve Hamilton is so raw, so open and honest about the terrible things he has seen and done, that you end up liking him in spite of them.
His chosen ‘career’ means that he’s now giving back to society, stopping teenagers from going down the same path as him - one at a time. And for that, he needs to be applauded.

[Robyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having battled with addictions and mental health issues, I always approach books such as this with apprehension. It's predicable attack on the danger of drugs can often result in many prospective readers being put off by it's lecture type tone.

Hamilton uses a conversational and informal style of writing which I found made the book far easier to get into and enjoy. He is candid and direct about his life choices, willing to admit his weakness, using his fear of relapse as a sort of motivation to help others. He shares truths that many addicts would often refuse to consider. A good book in all.

[Julie-Lynne McLean · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read a lot of memoirs, I like them and to be honest, I want to write my own. I also read them to see how the writing styles differ, what works, what doesn’t, if it’s a linear story telling, ect.
The issue I had with this book was the lack of actual stories. I understand Steve considers himself brain damaged from the substance abuse and has memory loss but there wasn’t a lot of content. I thought for someone who was a drug addict, dealer, small time criminal, there would be some shocking elements?! Felt like I was the one nodded out throughout the book, without the euphoria.

[N1Kitty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book. It is very raw and very real, worth the read!

[Fiona Black · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very hard-hitting read for anyone who has a loved one battling addiction. Honest, good advice, and might make someone think twice about trying it "just once".

[Reina McCarthy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like that it was about someone’s life experience, but it was also dragged on a lot about being an addict.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I want my life back
Steve Hamilton

This is a drug memoir that does the right thing. It’s great

It is not chronological and Hamilton explains that this is because he is brain damaged from all his drug taking. His memory is mixed up and so his story telling is too. Bu the way the story reads is completely understandable. It is how life is – he goes off of tangents and tells anecdotes and his life on drugs, and getting off them, is revealed in all its harshness.

He tells the reader drugs are great but they are expensive to you and will kill you. He admits the highs are like nothing else, but they will take you to dark scary places. He makes the reader see that drugs are not glamorous; that they are not worth the cost. What may start off as a lot of fun with your mates may well land up in a sleazy dirty flat waiting for someone to die so you can search their pockets for left over drugs.

Hamilton pulls no punches; he has been there, done some terrible things and knows he is lucky to be alive. He has faced his past and assumed responsibility for the decisions he made. While he tells of his horrible childhood, he never blames it for his life.

This is a harsh book, but a very real one. It is a cautionary tale told with huge compassion and understanding. Hamilton knows he is in no position to judge, but he obviously so wants others not to make the mistakes he made.

I am very glad that Hmailton is involved in drug education – I really think that he is one of the few post drug use voices that kids will actually listen to.

[Phillipa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. It's a little disjointed as he keeps explaining, he is brain-damaged as a result of the drugs and it means things don't happen in order when he remembers them. And that's pretty much how he wrote the book. It's one I'd definitely think of getting my kids to read one day when they get to around that age. It certainly shows all the truly scary things drug-addiction can do to you.

[Sharon Reuben · Rating 4 out of 5]

Am currently reading this book.

[Tanya · Rating 3 out of 5]

was a very honest look at drug addiction.

[Younger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written! I was a teen when I first read it, and it left me in tears. Addiction is one of the most difficult things to overcome.

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life of a reformed alcoholic, drug addict and prisoner. Very moving.

[Christopher · Rating 3 out of 5]

inspirational