Say My Name

by Ashley James

Arrogant. Repulsive. Cocky.

With an ego almost as big as his… Well, you know.

There is no length he wouldn’t go to score.

To be in control.

To win.

Life is nothing but a game to him, and I’ve become nothing more than his little pawn.

Something to toy with.

To taunt.

To mess with. And to hurt.

The wicked smirk on his face as he helped upend my entire life is proof of that.

He wants to push me to my limit until I’m begging for reprieve.

For mercy.

Or for more.



Mateo Rojas is a force to be reckoned with.

He’s everything I should run from.

And he will be my ruin.



*Say My Name is an MM full-length, standalone novel that was originally part of the Anti-Valentine Anthology as a novella. This novel features a hate-to-love, forced proximity romance that is intended for audiences 18+.

Genres: M M Romance, Enemies To Lovers, BDSM, Romance, Contemporary, Forced Proximity, LGBT

368 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 6, 2023

About the author

Ashley James is a romance author who enjoys writing (and reading) LGBTQIA+ books. She is from Washington State—and no, not Seattle—and currently resides in South Carolina with her two kids and hairless kitties, Goose, Maverick, and Houston. Ashley is introverted and slightly (okay, majorly) awkward. She refuses to make this section sound like a tacky dating app profile, so she won't be telling you how much she enjoys music, how she thoroughly enjoys dancing and singing in her kitchen, despite not being able to carry a tune, and she won't be telling you about her love of toxic and broken fictional men.

Reviews

[Drusilla · Rating 2 out of 5]

You know, if you don't give a shit about the epilogue, then something definitely went wrong with the book. I'm really sorry, there were a few nice parts that made me doubt my opinion, but overall it's a big fat NO from me.
I'm trying to wrap this up nicely because I think there will be enough readers who will love this book.
I really liked the romantic snowboarding weekend before the end or the wedding of Mateo's sister.
The basic idea of the whole plot is also good. And each sex scene on its own, if you block out everything else, is overly hot.
I can even go so far as to say that the characters of Travis and Mateo are interesting, that their points of view are very understandable at first and you can empathize with them quite well. The writing style is also very good, it reads easily and interesting enough without getting too boring.
So and now to the BUTs, no idea if I get everything together that bothered me or annoyed me, but I think the most important should be there:

He stills, emptying himself inside me. I’m all too aware that he’s inside me raw right now… something I never do. - That's the only mention of them fucking like rabbits without condoms and without ever talking about it or any other safety precautions. This makes me so angry, we are not in a fantasy story or anything like that. And this is not about a committed exclusive relationship, either of them could have been with other partners until near the end of the book. 🤯🤯🤯

All the hatred Travis feels is probably justified, but the whole thing has been milked ad nauseum, I mean just address it and get it out of the way, no we'd rather hold on to the whole thing, but maybe otherwise there would have been no plot at all and the book would have been super short.... sorry, I'm babbling, what I mean is simply that the whole thing is super annoying after a while and loses credibility.

But also Mateo becomes absolutely unbelievable after a while, he knows exactly that he just has to open his mouth, after all he is the one who first develops feelings. grrrr, so annoying. It's really just the non-communication cow being ridden to death. ( can you say it like that in English?)

Now, let's talk about sex...if you've never held a book with BDSM elements, please find another book. The BDSM scenes are good but definitely not for beginners. Yes we briefly talk about safe words but overall we are completely steamrolled by it like Travis. I mean, it's not until very late in the book that it becomes clear that Travis is really into it. He keeps mentioning how he loses all sense of reality in the presence of Mateo and simply surrenders to him ... hmmm, that's all great in principle, but I think that even here at least a minimum of communication is necessary.

I’ve always wanted to. I’ve watched porn on the kinkier side before, and fantasized about what it would be like. I’ve always been with men who either aren’t into stuff like this or who I wouldn’t trust to take care of me and work with me through something to this extent. - This is on page 254, way too late ... 🤬🤬🤬

Then I think we need to talk about pussies. I think I'm getting red in the face. So, I'm totally into humiliation, dirty talk and often find it amusing and appealing when male body parts are feminized. In this book it was annoying, unfortunately, because I think Mateo is somehow incapable of talking about anything other than pussies and cunts.

beg me to fill up your tight little cunt while you cry out my name.

This time I want to fill your tight fucking cunt with my cum until it’s dripping out of you, and you’re nothing more than a sloppy. Fucking. Slut.

You don’t want to hear how tight your little cunt is wrapped around my cock?

I miss that sweet little tight cunt of yours.

“Just a pretty, tight little cunt,” I growl, tracing along his stretched hole with the pad of my thumb as my cock continues to plunge in and out. “Do you like when I destroy your tight pink pussy, cariño?”

It takes no time at all for me to catch up, following suit, spilling into his tight, spent cunt.

It’s a glorious thing to witness, especially when his lust-fueled eyes drink me in as I feed his greedy cunt every last inch of my cock.

“You like me destroying this tight little pink cunt for anybody else?” - Is that hot? Yes absolutely, but also so so annoying that I think I can no longer read something like that for a long time ...😬😬😬

And then we have the scene where Travis fucks Mateo ... should I really say it... non-authentic! It's a good scene, but it's marred by the fact that the ending is completely off, by the fact that Mateo's thoughts on it are weird...
I’ve done butt stuff by myself before, but the end result was never like that. 😕
and from the fact that Travis is really dominating him, that is so insensitive in my opinion for someone who is traumatized...oh boy.

I can't think about it any longer now, I really need a properly beautiful story now.

[Stacy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The premise for this book is so entertaining. Travis comes home early from work to propose to his live-in boyfriend. When he arrives, Travis gets quite a shocking surprise, as said boyfriend is getting railed into the mattress by Mateo. Whoops.

Travis moves into an apartment to get away from his horrid POS ex. Guess who his new neighbor is? That’s right, it’s Mateo. The snark between these two is great! Thanks to a snowstorm, and some bad luck on Travis’ part, he’s locked out of his apartment with no way to get back in. Mateo offers to let him stay at his place until the storm passes.

While there, why not get some exercise in? Expend some of that pent up, pissed off aggression. So, Travis and Mateo hook up. Mateo can’t get enough of Travis and after a few more random encounters decides he is full on pursuing him.

He wants to own me, to mark me and make sure everybody knows it’s him doing it, and in this moment, on my knees before him, in one of the most submissive positions there is, I realize I want that too. To be wanted so wholly, they want the world to know.

The sex in this ranges from super kinky to really sweet and sexy. I appreciated the variety!

A yelp is pulled from me when the sting of his hand cracking down on my ass cheek reverberates through my body. “What the fuck!” “That’s for trying to be a toppy bottom,” he grits out as he roughly thrusts into me. The humor is evident in his tone, but the dominance he’s exuding is surprisingly fucking hot.

The more time Travis and Mateo spend together, the more Travis realizes he actually enjoys Mateo’s company. They may have had a rocky start, but they’ve more than made up for it. When Mateo decides to full on woo Travis, I was swooning.

Mateo saw me for me. He picked me. And he continues to pick me day in and day out. I was never a just-for-tonight. I was never an afterthought. Or a second choice to him. Mateo showed up, a force to be reckoned with, and turned out to be absolutely everything I never knew I needed.

*** I received an ARC of this book from Indie Author Creative and this is my honest opinion. ***

[ellie · Rating 2 out of 5]

no amount of trauma dumping will ever make me like Mateo sorry. honestly, it made me like him less since he’s been in Travis’ position multiple times before and still had zero remorse.

i hated the rhetoric being repeated in the book of “Mateo wasn’t the one who cheated, it was Nathaniel so he’s innocent!” true… but it doesn’t explain why Mateo was smug about what he did, how he continued to fuck Nathaniel while Travis was standing there, watching, heartbroken and locked eyes with him as they both came. it doesn’t explain why Mateo said nasty shit like ”It’s no wonder your man cheated on you. You’re fucking bitter and boring.” how he basically made a bet with his cousin that he’d get Travis to submit and fuck him. how they don’t really unpack how what happened truly affected Travis.

Mateo still had things to apologise for and never does. his smugness, his nasty barbs, his lack of remorse are just glossed over and Travis is kinda painted as the unreasonable one. the story acts like because Mateo didn’t know Nathaniel was in a relationship with Travis, he doesn’t deserve to be at the receiving end of Travis’s rage and hatred… i sorely disagree. honestly, i would agree if Mateo wasn’t such a nasty smug bastard about what he did, but he was just so distasteful it was hard to ever truly like him, no matter how much his past trauma was shoved down my throat.

especially when i had a front row seat to how Travis viewed himself in the aftermath, it actually made me sick to my stomach reading how much he questioned his self-worth and whether he was lovable. and Mateo’s nasty, smug attitude just added fuel to the fire.

if he hadn’t been so smug and eventually apologised for how he acted AFTER everything happened, i would have been cool with him since he didn’t know about Travis and Nathaniel. but yeah… the attitude stank. he just lacked basic human empathy, i think, and that’s where i couldn’t vibe with him. he played an awful part in a dark time in Travis’ life but just didn’t seem to have the emotional maturity to deal with his own actions.

and i don’t get along with the bulldozer heroes, either. there’s a difference between being determined to get what you want, putting your cards on the table and still respecting boundaries, vs bulldozing which is just motivated by self-gratification and your own needs, not the other person’s. Travis was often very adamant about what he wanted but Mateo didn’t give a fuck because his own ego, his own needs and his own desire were more important.

in the end, i enjoyed this more than the original novella and liked knowing more about Mateo, but honestly upon finishing the book i just feel immense pity for Travis ending up with Mateo. i wasn’t convinced Mateo loved Travis, but that Travis was a challenge he wanted to conquer and i guess in the end he did :/

honourable mention to the “pussy” and “cunt” references. i thought she’d remove them after the novella but she just seemed to add more into the mix. it’s just so mortifying to read, please just use the correct anatomy.

[Megan [At The Cottage]]

MM Romance
Cheater to lover
DNF @ 80%? I have 2 hours of audiobook left so you do the math.

🎵Narrated by Javi Wilder and Lee Samuels🎵 Lee was new to me and at times he kind of sounded like Michael Dean (I’m always on the fence when it comes to him) but I’d listen to Lee again. Javi was my sole reason for picking this up because ever since I listened to him on For The Fans by Nyla K, I have been dying for more. So sexy. 💗

I have this author on my DNR list because I legit hate her books for many reasons but the main one is how much I loathe her characters. They are always immature fuckboys who treat women like shit and I just can’t however when my friend bought this audiobook and asked me if I wanted to listen to it because Javi Wilder was on it…Yah my so-called morals flew out the window and I accepted without a second thought 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ But to be fair to this author, I am not going to rate this because I went into it knowing I don’t mesh with her books and that’s on me.

So without further ado. I HATED THIS BOOK. Not even Javi Wilder’s sexy voice could save this train wreck for me. It’s been a few weeks since I set this down and no part of me wants to pick it back up for a few *reasons* I’ll discuss below. But to summarize, this book is about a guy, Travis, who walks in on his boyfriend of 4 years cheating on him with a guy named Mateo and serendipity has him moving into the same apartment building and floor as the guy his ex was fucking. Shock horror 🔪💀Let’s fuck? 🤷🏻‍♀️

This book made me want to pull my hair out. Here’s a few reasons why.

💀The first two and a half hours of the audiobook were so boring that if I hadn’t been cooking, I definitely would have DNF’d but I was making this curry pie that I couldn’t interrupt so I went with it. But my main question was WHY do I need to know this? There were like 8 chapters dedicated to Travis’ relationship with his ex and how they met in college and how shady he was even back then blah blah and I just kept thinking who cares because obviously we know this relationship won’t last so why do we need all the nitty gritty details? Seeing his ex getting railed by another guy is enough to make me hate him. Spare me on all the boring details of how you didn’t see the red flags. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Honestly, this part made me just think Travis was a moron for not seeing his ex for who he truly was. 💀

💀Finding out Travis is living next door to Mateo made me roll my eyes. Really? What are the odds? But furthermore why would you let him fuck you bareback when he was just fucking your slutty ex? Also, Mateo had some kinks and I found it odd that Travis would let Mateo tie him up the first time they fucked when he hated him and there was no trust? 💀

💀Mateo. Mateo was voiced by Javi Wilder so I wanted to love him yet I dreaded being in his POV because he was such a dickhead but my brain would hear Javi and scream yessss…so the whole time I just felt tortured listening to this. Give me Javiiiii, wait no fuck you Mateo 🤣🤣🤡 My biggest issue with Mateo was I just didn’t understand why he was such an asshole. He didn’t know that Travis��� ex had a man but he’d constantly say to Travis that he knew and that Travis couldn’t satisfy his man like he could. What? Mateo even had something like this happen to him so the shit he kept spewing at Travis just irked me. Also, I couldn’t stand the feminization of male anatomy in the sex scenes despite loving Javi’s voice. I absolutely hate when the term pussy or cunt is used instead of ass anyway but Mateo made it even worse somehow. 💀

💀Travis. At the beginning I felt sorry for the guy despite him being kind of a moron but as time went on I just lost respect for him. He kept saying in his POV that he was going to stand up for himself and blah blah blah but then kept letting Mateo degrade him and treat him like crap. I think Travis liked it tbh because as time went on he realized he had a humiliation kink but like, Mateo did this out of the bedroom too. I kept wishing he’d tell Mateo to fuck off and instead find someone who treated him the way he deserved. I just didn’t understand how he could fall for a guy who treated him so badly and was so smug about ruining his relationship. It’s very rare I don’t want the couple to end up together but here we are. 💀

I think it’s time to say goodbye when I don’t want the couple the book is about to end up together and based on reviews I read afterwards Mateo never apologizes for being a dickhead so I’d rather chew broken glass than keep listening to this book. 💀😬🤦🏻‍♀️

[Noa · Rating 5 out of 5]

"It feels like this whole life I envisioned was there one moment, and stripped from my fingers the next."

How could I have been so blind?
How could I not see all of the flags? All of the signs?
I ran out of there as fast as I could.
I took a duffle. I took my dog and just ran.
I had to start over. I had to get a fresh start.
Well shit…

"At this point, call me Count fucking Olaf because this is a series of unfortunate events if I've ever heard of one."

"They say everything happens for a reason. That you're never given more than you can handle. To trust the process. Well I don't know who 'they' are, but disrespectfully, they can go fuck themselves. Without lube."

Travis was cheated on by his long term boyfriend.
He came home on their anniversary and saw him in the middle of the act.
He left. Took what he could and started over.
But what happens when his new neighbor is the same guy that was inside his boyfriend just a couple of weeks ago?

"Welcome to the building, carino. If you ever need anything - a cup of sugar, some flour, to let off some steam - don't be shy."

I received an e-arc of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Songs that encompass this book for me honestly:

"Breathe" - Kansh
"Fire Up the Night" - New Medicine

OMG!!! This book!! This book had me in a chokehold the whole fucking time!!
I could not put this down! I legit thought that this was going to be a friends-to-lovers book and boy was I glad to be wrong.

"He thinks he hates me after all, but hate sex is always the best, isn't it?"

I did not think I would have these many feels while reading this book honestly but I was so pleasantly surprised.
I resonated so much with Travis. Going through life thinking that no matter what happens you are always to blame. It's always what you did wrong. What could I have done differently? What did I do to make him do this?
I cried so much and I legit felt personally attacked.

"I fuck up everything. Always."

"Never anybody's first choice. Ever."

"Being nothing but second best your entire life, it's easier to accept simply having someone's attention, so you're not alone."

And then you have Mateo. Sweet assholish sassy Matteo.
I loved his character so much (more than I was expecting honestly).
His background was heartbreaking. Having such a strained relationship with family is really hard and you can see it in his actions. But I legit was so proud throughout this book of how he overcame that and how he kept living his life for himself and not for anyone else.

"All I wanted was for someone to see me and accept me for who I was."


Now, Matteo and Travis together -----> 🔥🔥🔥🔥

"This thing with Travis isn't just about the chase. About scoring. Because if that was the case, I've already scored, I've already caught my prey. It's more than that."

I mean the spice is there. The chemistry is there. And trust me when I say THE BANTER IS HERE AND IT IS SLAYING!!!!
I loved their little quips and everything and boy when Matteo gets protective… He gets protective!!! (no spoilers, no spoilers)

And just as a treat, please enjoy the following quotes:

"Oh, baby, it's cute that you think you'll be able to walk away from me once we're through."

"Tell me how much you hate me, carino. Tell me how much you can't fucking stand me, baby, while I have your body trembling with need from only my fingers. Tell. Me."

"Say my name. Say my name when you come. My real name."

🔧 Tropes 🔧

🕯️Strangers to Enemies to Lovers
🕯️Hate to Love
🕯️Forced Proximity
🕯️Neighbors
🕯️Grumpy x Sunshine
🕯️Golden Retriever Vibes (Plus an actual Golden Retriever)
🕯️F-boy falls first
🕯️BDSM

[Renae Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Travis and Matteo are everything!!! Say My Name is an addicting enemies-to-lovers story that I could not get enough of. Travis and Matteo have fantastic chemistry with a very strong push/pull dynamic. I enjoyed the journey these two went on by overcoming their complicated backgrounds and learning to work together. Together they are pure fire and I loved every minute they were together.

Say My Name tackles many complex topics. The main one is Travis's gaslighting/abusive relationship that sparks the trajectory that lands Travis in Matteo's proximity. Matteo is the stranger who Travis's boyfriend cheated on him with. Once this realization occurs there is open hostility on Travis's part and blatant curiosity on Matteo's.

This dynamic creates a fascinating push/pull between the two. At first, Matteo is unbothered by Travis's hostility, but over time they are forced to interact and cannot deny their shared mutual attraction, which takes both on a journey of exploration neither is expecting.

Overall Say My Name is an addicting read that offered moments of levity and heart. Travis and Matteo are wonderful together and I could not get enough of them.

*** I reviewed a complimentary copy of this story.***

[Mug · Rating 2 out of 5]

the set up was way way too long, i was skimming to get to the part where they finally meet in chapter 8, but things didn’t even get interesting until their run in on the elevator in chapter 10…….like why so much info dumping😭😭😭 and their first time, the way mateo goads travis into “proving it” was so cringe😵‍💫 no more “prove it” in books with grown men pls!!

there’s being an asshole and then there’s mateo….every time he brings up fucking travis’s ex, he literally says shit like “no wonder ur man cheated on you, you’re fucking boring and bitter” & “your mouth feels so good wrapped around me…almost as good as [nate] felt”😧😧 like that’s too far, have some compassion!!! why would u say that😭😭 it’s even worse bc travis has always blamed himself when things go wrong: he’s not good enough, he should’ve been more attentive, if he’d just been better etc etc……even if it isn’t his fault.

ok and then mateo tries to psychoanalyze travis, and mind you, he knows nothing about him at this point, by saying “did you really love your ex or did u just love the idea of him, of what he could’ve been?”……..like let’s just stop for second and set the scene…….mateo is asking this after being unapologetic and smug the entire time about fucking travis’s boyfriend, which travis happens to have walked in on way back and mateo smirked at him, CONTINUED fucking his boyfriend and came in his boyfriend’s ass in front of him, thereby ending travis’s 6 year relationship. and then mateo has the balls to try to act like he knows better and everything’s okay bc did travis really love his ex??? (again, he’s spitballing. he doesn’t know shit about travis or his relationship!!!) like the audacity astounds me!!!! like unfortunately u happen to be dead on the nose but there’s absolutely no way you’ve been able to intuit that😭 and, due to ur role in all this, maybe try shutting the fuck up instead! like ew major ick. not to mention how he supposably hates cheaters bc his ex cheated on him constantly….um and ur acting like this???🥴 he never apologizes for anything btw😭 mateo is an immature, childish know-it-all who enjoys being deliberately cruel and never having to take responsibility for it or shit, even admit what he did was fucked up!! and travis is the perfect person to take his shit and beg for more.

the way the author wrote this book feels very much like an on-a-harsh-deadline + wattpad coded combo to me. also the dirty talk is just……clunky😬 and i found myself skimming the spicy scenes too like damn this did not work for me lmao. i definitely forced myself to finish so i could rant😂 otherwise i would’ve dnf’d before even hitting 50%

[Kati *☆･ﾟ · Rating 3 out of 5]

4*** stars
⇢ cashing in one star for the barebacking without addressing the topic of safe sex.


Awww, I really liked this story. The tension and angry feelings in the beginning and the sweetness towards the end.

“Say my name like that again, cariño.”

And gosh, their love making in that cabin in the mountains was so wonderful. And I loved their whole HEA.


I’m not that much into degrading kink (more praise) but I got the first here, especially in the beginning but fortunately it hadn’t gotten all that heavy and lessened towards the end.


The narrators (both new to me) did a fantastic job with Mateo and Travis and I wouldn’t mind hearing more from them in the future.

[Whitney · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had my doubts when I first started this after finding out who the second MC was. How could a book be good when Travis is starting a relationship with the guy who his ex boyfriend cheated on him with? Well, I was wrong. Mateo was misunderstood from the beginning, and him and Travis ended up having a beautiful love story after overcoming cheating assholes, trauma and trust issues.

....

"Tell me how much you can't fucking stand me, baby, while I have your body trembling with need from only my fingers. Tell. Me."

"What's the matter, baby?... Don't like how well I know your body already? Don't like how good I make you feel? Makes it pretty hard to hate me, huh?"

....


⚠️possible spoilers in tropes and triggers below




Tropes:
Enemies to lovers
Strangers to lovers
Hate sex
Enemies with benefits
Texts cheating ex sex audio during the act
Watersports
Misunderstood MC

TWs:
Cheating, not between MCs
Mentions of sexual trauma

[loverexreads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was perfection itself and, in my opinion, the complete package of what Ashley James has to offer in her books.  It had a bit of everything I love about her writing: MCs that make you fall under their spell, I-hate-you vibes, steamy hot scenes and above all, a ton of emotion. 
 
After reading Mateo and Travis' novella in the Anti-Valentine Anthology, I was so looking forward to their complete story, and frankly, it was worth the wait.
 
I loved that the relationship between Travis and Mateo remained tense for at least two thirds of the book. What really surprised me was how, in the end, Travis and Mateo had a lot in common and that's what brought them together. The last third of the book was so touching and some of the scenes between our two MCs were really sensual and full of softness. It was an interesting contrast to the scenes at the beginning, which were rough, sometimes even brutal. 
 
The dynamic between these two was delightful, and I couldn't get enough of their banter and snark-filled discussion. I couldn't decide which of Mateo or Travis I preferred. Mateo was so confident and possessive and Travis really got me with his more vulnerable side. 
 
I think it's one of Ashley's most relatable stories, since we've all been hurt in love at some point. It's also, I think, a book that can be an excellent entry point for discovering Ashley James. There's angst, without it becoming oppressive, and there's also a dose of kink without it being overpowering. It might be worth checking out the trigger warnings in case anything is too heavy for you.
 
This is definitely another 5⭐️ from Ashley for me.

[haletostilinski · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐︎ 4.5 Stars Rounded Up! ⭐︎

This was so good, I loved it.

Travis, ever since his dad left when he was 5, just wants to be loved. Especially after he saw his father with a whole new family in high school when he was 15. It really cemented that his father didn't die or disappear, he just...left him. Left his family. Travis fears that no one loves him for him, but all he wants is that very thing.

Which is why he stays with Nathaniel for wayyyy too long. We see cracks even after they've been dating for 6 months in the prologue. But Travis explains Nathaniel's behavior away and lets it go.

Then proceeds to stay with him for another 5 years before he walks in on him getting railed by some guy, Mateo.

Who is hot AF, but Travis isn't going to focus on that detail. No, he's gonna stay pissed and angry at him for seemingly ruining his life.

And when Travis moves out of the house he shared with Nathaniel and into a new apartment, who should be his across the way neighbor, but Mateo himself.

Mateo is definitely a sight to be behold, and he actually didn't know that Nathaniel was with anyone. But he messes with Travis for awhile because he finds Travis being pissed off at him to be hot and sexy.

But in his heart of hearts, Mateo hates that Nathaniel made him a part of any cheating, because he abhors cheating, especially after his one serious relationship years ago had the guy, Robbie, cheating on him multiple times.

Mateo seems cocky and arrogant and like an asshole, and he puts on that mask, especially around Travis, but he is more than that under the surface.

These are both just two guys who have been fucked up by past relationships, familial and romantic, and have trust issues because of it. And some just...general brokenness to them.

I adored these two and their chemistry. There's that definite push and pull - just from Travis, really, which is understandable, as Mateo was the guy he found fucking his longterm boyfriend - but the chemistry is undeniable, and no matter how much Travis tries, he can't stay away from him.

My only small quibbles with this, and hence the .5 stars off, is that I wish we had gotten more of them in the serious part of their relationship. Just felt like we could have spent a little less time on the "just sex" part and more on the romance. I felt like the romance really started to well into the second half. I just adored these two so much that I wanted to get even more story showing them building their connection.

What we had was good, don't get me wrong, I just wanted even more. Also the ending - before the epilogues - felt a tad abrupt. I'm glad we got the 6 months, then 3 months later to really make it feel more complete, so that's a big plus. But just the ending ending felt a little abrupt for me. Then all the sudden we were at "six months later" and I was little like "wait huh? That's it?" which lends more to my point about just getting more of them together, ya know?

But otherwise, I adored this. The chemistry was so so good, and of course the sex was 🔥 and so so good.

I tagged dub-con for this, but mainly because they don't 100% talk through what they do, and seeing as they go into full BDSM territory, I feel full on convo's should have happened, and they didn't really. So dub-con for that. Also Mateo sucks Travis off while he's sleeping without asking. Yes, enthusiastic consent is there, but not informed consent.

Also the cheating is just for Travis and Mateo's exes cheating on them, not any cheating between our MC's.

Also I did like how Travis, the most fresh out of a relationship, was still a little weary of committing to Mateo 100% because he had fear and paranoia about being cheated on again. Sometimes I read books where one fo the MC's was cheated on and then they don't seem to have that fear/paranoia and that doesn't make much sense to me. So glad that was in there.

Overall, this was amazing and I definitely recommend. Just heed the TW's listed in the beginning of the book.

Definitely one of this author's best, in my opinion. Can't wait to read the next book from this lovely author!😘

[reverie · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was so bad that I considered not wasting my time with a review, but… 🤷‍♀️

I’m so, so, sooo fucking tired of being told that characters love each other, and not being shown why. Having a ton of sex, walking a dog together twice, and watching a few episodes of a TV show is not romance. Spending 300 pages saying, “I hate him, but his dick has magic in it! I can’t stay away!” Does not convince me that you’re falling in love.

And the music….. 💀💀💀. Maybe it’s just my own peeve? But I cannot STAND when a book jumpscares me with a real song and band. This book is, of all I’ve ever read, the worst offender. There’s a sex scene in which they put on some music before they get down to it, and the book makes sure to let you know when the song playing behind their moaning changes. Four times. I got FOUR song titles, as well as their artists, in one scene. I thought I was going to lose my mind.

I’m tired. This book exhausted me. I need a nap. Goodbye ✋

[Ro {semi-hiatus} · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars.

i'm really glad i didn't DNR ashley after reading her Hidden Affairs series lol i guess i honestly like her writing, i just didn't jive at all with everything going on in those books. this book though.. 🥰

Travis is ready to propose to the biggest mistake of his life when he comes home to find his mistake, Nathaniel, with his pants around his ankles getting absolutely railed by a hottie bo body. after chucking a vase and cussing out his cheating boyf, Trav fucks off to another city to start over with gorgeous jennifer coolidge energy because he took the dog too! dumb ass!

the hottie bo body belongs to a mechanic named Mateo, but to Travis he's public enemy number 1. and that bad ass attitude of his only worsens when he realizes that Mateo is his new neighbor. these two did not get off to a good start. Mateo found out weapons could be formed against him and still prosper when that vase Travis launched got him real good in the face. and Travis naturally has a healthy amount of animosity towards the man he was being cheated on with. and all that tension lends itself a heady cocktail because Mateo is dying to get under Trav's skin and Trav can't help but let him in even tho he fights his attraction hard. so so hard. it's valiant, really.

but Mateo can't just let Travis put out one time and let it be done so he backs him into a corner and Travis promises that if Mateo can make him beg for it, he'll go on a real date with him. not convinced he's writing a check he doesn't want to cash, Travvy starts giving it up to Matty. the spice yall 😭🌶️🔥 MVP: most very picante. Mateo is just nasty. beware of the golden shower but also keep in mind that it was quick and like, probably as tasteful as peeing on someone will ever get. it's in an actual shower if that makes a difference to you.

okay so that's all good and whatever but Travis is damaged soft boy teas and Mateo isn't coming from a stellar past either. while Trav's parents accepted his identity, Mateo's didn't. insert an attempt at conversion therapy and making a 15 yo homeless. Mateo's needy childhood landed him in the arms of a man who was to him what Nathaniel was to Travis. in their mutual hurt, these two are more alike than they seem but Travis believes that Mateo was a transgressor and Mateo keeps him in the dark about the fact that he didn't know Nathaniel was in a relationship. the hate sex just hits too good, am i right? anyway

Nathaniel is thirsty for Mateo and also is unwilling to let go of Travis. it's not overly dramatic but there are some yummo scenes with Mateo doing The Absolute Most to stake his claim on Travis.

“That’s fucking right. You love what I do to you, baby. You love the way I make you feel. You can pretend to hate me all you want, but it’s my cock, my fingers, my tongue, me, that’s making you rip at the seams. I want you to remember that the next time that fucker calls or texts you. I want you to remember this moment, and every other, when you’re even thinking of being with anybody else, cariño. I own you. I make you feel this way.”

eventually, after an ill-timed confession, a date to an engagement party, and an apology over takeout followed by a sound spanking sesh, Travis softens to the idea of having feelings for Mateo. Mateo was already right there from the first time he had Travis under him and it is just luuuush getting to see Mateo in action. while Travis takes his sweet ass time, Matty is desperado for ya boy.

I don’t care if he thinks he can’t stand me. I don’t care if I have to fight him every step of the way. I don’t care because whether or not he believes it, he’s fucking mine.

“You know there’ll be no one else, right, cariño? Whether you want to believe it or not, you’re. Fucking. mine. My lips to kiss. My body to mark. My pussy to fill. Mine.”

i told you he was nasty right? ok. please note there is a spare room turned sex dungeon and it was giving fifty shades: the non billionaire edition but make it gay. still though. what happens in there is flames emoji af.

Mateo has dazzling levels of vulnerability while he takes every opening he has to court the hell out of Travis. and Travis resists just the right amount. he gives in often enough and it's so delish cos Matty is such a great guy to him and for him. while Mateo helps Travis sexily close the petty chapter on Nathaniel, Travis helps Mateo work through some serious trauma regarding sex because of his past relationship and the relationship he has with his mom because of the conversion therapy and coinciding ejection from home. it's so sweet without going overboard. there's zero angst, lots of cutie patootie moments, and pretty adorable nicknames like Matty and mi amor. anyways, read it live it laugh it love it goodbye

[♡ cal ♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

❝ You can deny it to yourself all you want, but you can´t lie to me.❞
Sinking inside of him is wicked. It feels wrong, but so damn right. Knowing he can´t help himself... knowing that he fought this, tried to deny himself, but in the end, the body gets what the body wants.

say my name is my first book from ashley james and currently my latest supreme aka 5 star read. i fucking love this book so much. i wish i could say it was this enemies-to-lovers but after a lot mulling it was more of this guy being furious with his apartment neighbor and the latter likes to rile him up. before they were apartment neighbors, they have a somehow a history so you can see why this guy, travis, hates his cocky neighbor, mateo. good lord mateo rojas is a dreamboat. every time he calls travis cariño and other mexican endearments, i fucking swoon. i need mateo rojas biblically. i need him in a way that concerns feminism. cocky big men who is funny and at the same time has this soft spot for the person that they like is like one of my fcking horcrux. and he is pierced too!... in the most important places. and the guy on the cover? thats mateo rojas!!

[Kate V · Rating 2 out of 5]

Say My Name was in the Anti-Valentine anthology. This was part of my review for that:

4.5 stars

Travis thinks he has it all until he walks in on his partner with another man. Distraught, he picks up the pieces and starts over in a new apartment only to find out his neighbor is the man that he found with his ex. Like fate had a hand, Travis is locked out of his apartment during a snowstorm and Mateo is the only one that can offer assistance. Walking over the threshold into Mateo’s apartment sets a chain of events in motion that will change Travis’ life forever. Travis is hesitant about what is brewing but Mateo is all in.

YA’LL

I was really looking forward to their journey and their HEA and while I did enjoy parts of their story, most of it felt surface level and awkward. Travis was a doormat in many ways and Mateo just worked his trauma out on Travis until one day they both were like…”yo guess I love you.”

The other thing that really threw me was the use of “p*ssy,” “pretty pink p*ssy,” and c*nt* when speaking to Travis during their steamy moments. First, men don’t have those and it really just took me out of the visual I was creating in my mind. I like MM for many reasons but one reason is they’re distinctly different than a woman. Two strong men falling in love and connecting intimately is super hot and I didn’t like imagining a vagina with these two characters. Maybe that was his kink and that’s ok. I’m not here to kink shame because lord knows I’ve got my own kinks and turn ons and offs but it didn’t work for me. *I said what I said, you don’t have to agree.*

Secondly, you really couldn’t come up with any other dirty talk? Mateo is dominant and kinky and I loved that about him but I needed more depth. Travis just took whatever Mateo gave him…did he like it? Like that seriously crossed my mind a few times because it felt like Travis just gave in to get it over with. Then all of a sudden at the end he was this dominant in bed and Mateo was vulnerable out of nowhere. Mateo has trauma and that whole interaction felt rushed for someone with past trauma. Don’t get me wrong, I love vulnerability between two MCs in romance but it came out of nowhere.

This was a fast burn and maybe that was the problem. They were all sex and suddenly friends too. There was a disconnect on their relationship timeline because their communication was never very deep.

Overall, I just didn’t enjoy this all that much. My opinion on this story might be an outlier but it’s just my opinion so if you give this story a try, you may love it! Unfortunately I did not.

[Julia (bookish.jka) · Rating 4 out of 5]

His bright eyes fucking gleam with arrogance as he watches me. “Oh, baby, it’s cute that you think you’ll be able to walk away from me once we’re through.” Bringing our bodies flush again, he nips along my jaw before he continues. “I’ll be your worst goddamn nightmare, your new drug of choice, cariño.”

Say My Name by Ashley James started life as a novella in the fabulous MM anthology Anti-Valentine and it was completely obvious the MCs needed their own full-length book. And voilà, Ashley James delivers!

Travis and Mateo are next level hot AF.

It's all here - forced proximity, cheating ex's hook-up, mild BDSM, "submit to me", "mine".

You are going to fall hard for these boys.

"With my grin wide, I bring my mouth right by his ear, feeling a shiver rack through him in the process. Keeping my voice low, I ask, “But what if I want to tell you what to do, baby?"

4-4.5 steamy stars

[Jane aka Coughy019 (Safety info included) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tropes: enemies to lovers
Feels: 3.5/5
Steam*: 4.5/5
Kinks: pretty kinky, includes breathplay, mild blood play, water sports, fully equipped sex dungeon
Angst: low
HEA: yes
Pairing: MM
Triggers/potential icks/content themes: cheating (not between MCs), Mateo fucked Travis's bf & Travis walked in, homophobia, conversion therapy (in past, not detailed), bad parents, abusive relationships, gaslighting, drug use, driving under influence

3.5 stars.

One day Travis is about to propose to his boyfriend. He comes home early to prep for the proposal and he catches his boyfriend getting railed by Mateo. His boyfriend is a cheating cheater and picked Mateo up off of Grindr. Travis dumps his boyfriend. And rents an apartment. Only to find his new neighbor is Mateo. Mateo is very attracted to Travis and he aggressively hits on him until Travis gives in. But then Travis gives him the cold shoulder, until the next time they hook up and then he gives him the cold shoulder again. Rinse wash repeat. Mateo is catching feels. Will Travis give him a real chance though? They both have been damaged by past relationships.

This was a decent book. I did like the hate to love journey. There was really good animosity and sexual tension between them. Travis caving was fun to watch. I'd say this book was a little bit more kinky than I prefer personally.

I have to say I kind of hyper fixate when I come across a plot hole and there were two that annoyed me in this book. One, Travis and his ex Nathaniel purchased a house together before they broke up and the book never addressed them squaring up and getting rid of the house. There were a bunch of interactions with Nathaniel after the breakup but they never showed a talk dealing with the house. Two, Travis and Mateo always had sex without condoms and they never had a conversation about safe sex, condoms or their statuses. They just dove right into condomless sex (with mild blood play once). This is especially dumb because Travis's ex is a cheating cheater. Travis could easily have caught something from him. And Mateo is also pretty sexually active so it's just irresponsible. Also Mateo drove while smoking weed, driving under the influence is not safe and shouldn't be encouraged. And Mateo kept referring to Travis's hole as p****/c**** which I just don't appreciate for a bunch of reasons. I wouldn't ding a book for being kinkier than I prefer, but I will ding the book for these things.


Some notable moments:

"“Fine,” I grit out. “But only this one time. After the snow melts and I go home, we pretend this never fucking happened.” His bright eyes fucking gleam with arrogance as he watches me. “Oh, baby, it’s cute that you think you’ll be able to walk away from me once we’re through.” Bringing our bodies flush again, he nips along my jaw before he continues. “I’ll be your worst goddamn nightmare, your new drug of choice, cariño.”"

"Keeping my face neutral, I mutter, “I don’t know. What happened to me being a piece of shit, and you saying this’ll never happen again?” I can see the exact moment Travis fights to not roll his eyes. This isn’t easy for him, but I fucking love it. “I was having a bad day. I didn’t mean it.” “Oh, so you don’t think I’m a piece of shit?” Heaving a sigh, he squares his shoulders. “No, I do. You’re just a piece of shit with a great dick.”"

"Travis climbs up my body, pressing his lips to mine. The kiss is gentle, but meaningful. It’s meant to be reassuring. Comforting. And I love him for it. The blood roars in my ears as the thought simmers in my mind, embedding in my chest like a knife. I… love him. Fuck…"

*FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink.

**Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers.

[Dani (Daniiireads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

- hate to love
- neighbors with benefits
- forced proximity

After walking in on his boyfriend of over five years getting railed into their mattress by another man, Travis rightfully dumps him and moves into an apartment building closer to his job.

Unfortunately for Travis, his new neighbor is none other than the man he caught his cheating ex with, Mateo. & when Travis accidentally gets locked out of his apartment during a snowstorm, the only person he can turn to for help is Mateo.

Mateo, who is disgustingly arrogant, infuriatingly cocky, is also the absolute bane of Travis’s existence. The tension and animosity that crackles between them soon boils over though, and after a night full of kinky hot sex, Travis is left questioning if he really hates Mateo after all.

I loved this in the Anti Valentines Anthology, and loved it even more as a full length novel. Travis and Mateo’s story is so deliciously spicy, but ended so sweetly.

[Audi♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

What would you do if you walked in on your man (almost fiance) of 4 years cheating on you?? Throw a lamp at their heads while they're fucking? Same, sis. So, what would you do if the same dude your now ex was banging is your new neighbor?? Maybe have a wee taste for yourself? HAHA omggggg Matteo's naughty fucking mouth had me blushing while folding the laundry 🔥


“Then come for me, mi amor. Show me how much being mine turns you on. Show me how much me owning you turns you inside out.”

Nathanial and Robbie can suck a big fat wet fart 🙄

THE ENDING HAD ME GIGGLING INTO MY SOCK PILE 💕

[Abbey Mewmaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

✨He’s a high unlike any other. A high I never plan to get sober from.✨

The way this book had me in a chokehold the entire time. Y’all know I love a good MM. Mateo, the king of hand necklaces and good boy. The mouth on this man has me sat 🧎🏼‍♀️ but he is also baby!!!! He can call me cariño and mi amor any day. I honestly felt so bad for this man. My heart hurt for him. He fell so hard and fast for Travis, it was almost painful waiting for him to catch up. The way this man was so possessive, and degrading, was so worth it for the aftercare this man provided. And let’s not forget queen Nova, our perfect golden retriever girl!!! Thank you so much for the ARC, Ashley!!

Tropes: hate to love, forced proximity, golden retriever energy x grumpy mechanic, praise/degradation

4.5✨
4🌶️

[Book Binge: Reviews by Melissa DaSilva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Say My Name is the full enemies to lovers story between Mateo and Travis. We first saw parts of their story in the Anti-Valentine anthology and I absolutely loved their story so knew I had to read the full story when it was out. If you’ve read the antho and loved it you will not be disappointed. There has been changes and extra chapters added so make sure to reread the beginning!

I absolutely loved the dynamic between Mateo and Travis. They were incredibly hot right from the start and they had amazing chemistry. They both have been hurt in the past and have a lot of work to do to get past it and I loved seeing them open up more to each other.

There are a lot triggers at the beginning of this book but I found that a lot of them were only one instance, not recurring throughout the book so it wasn’t as much as I thought it might be. I actually really liked their dynamic.

I absolutely recommend this book as well as any others by this author. They are incredibly entertaining and always make for a great escape!!

[oshiiy · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars ⭐️

(Spoilers ahead)

When you realize you don’t care about the main characters, it’s usually a sign the book isn’t for you, and that’s exactly how I felt here. I couldn’t connect with either Travis or Mateo. They both acted immaturely, and their behavior never really won me over.

I was especially frustrated with Mateo, who stubbornly kept the truth to himself instead of clearing things up from the start. The chemistry between them didn’t come through in most chapters, and I didn’t need to read so much about Travis’s history with his ex either.

I’m giving this 2 stars only because, even though I skipped a lot of chapters, I still finished the book ultimately reading the epilogue as well.

[readingwithmiaa · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.75⭐️
4🌶️



THE EPILOGUE! SO ADORABLE MY FREAKING HEART!😆🫠💕 SUCH And Good Book Y’all And The Audiobook Was Even Better Than What I Expected And After Reading The Fifth Book Of The Monstrous Series, I Needed A Book Like This And It Was Everything I Hoped It Would Be And More. Such A Good Story And Both MMCS Were So Amazing And Mateo And Travis’s Chemistry Was Just SO GOOD! HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK TO ALL MM ROMANCE LOVERS!🫶💕

[Shonee · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wish the relationship between Travis and his dad had been explored more. That would have taken this story over the edge for me.

[Natalia Forciniti · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️: 8/10
🌶️: 4/5
🥹: 0/5
🤣: 1/5

Tropes:
- Hate to love
- Forced proximity
- Praise / Degradation
- Little bdsm

(SP) Tenía varios libros de esta autora en lista entonces cuando me ofrecieron el ARC de este libro no lo dudé un segundo y lo bien que hice!!! Un hate to lovers excelentemente escrito aunque el odio real es unilateral.
Luego del meet cute más horrible que he leído Mateo y Travis se convierten en vecinos y cuestiones climáticas los fuerzan a tener que convivir y no tengo palabras para describir la química que surge entre estos dos personajes. Realmente atraviesa las páginas.
Ambos tienen un pasado muy duro y en verdad sólo están buscando una persona que los amé y acepté por lo que son. Su desarrollo es muy bello y uno los termina queriendo un montón.
Disfruto mucho cuando los libros me fuerzan a correr un poco mis límites y esta historia lo ha hecho. Me pasó un par de veces de tener que ir para atrás porque me quedé pensando “yo entendí bien?” Culpemos al idioma y no a mi mojigatez 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Quiero agradecer a Ashley y a The Author Agency por haberme dado la posibilidad de leer este libro con anterioridad a su publicación. Obviamente ya tengo otro libro de la autora descargado en la Kindle y realmente les recomiendo la lectura de este! Espero lo disfruten tanto como yo.

(EN) I had several books by this author on TBR so when they offered me the ARC of this one I didn't hesitate and how well I did!!! It’s an excellently written hate to love although hatred is really one-sided.
After the most awful meet cute I have read, Mateo and Travis become neighbors and climate issues force them to have to live together. I have no words to describe the chemistry that arises between these two characters. It really goes through the pages.
Both of them have a very hard past and in truth they are only looking for a person who loves and accepts them for who they are. Their development is beautiful and one ends up loving them.
I really enjoy when books force me to run my boundaries a little and this story has done it. It happened to me a couple of times that I had to go backwards because I kept thinking "I understood correctly?" Let's blame the language and not my prudishness 🤣🤣🤣
I want to thank Ashley and The Author Agency for giving me the opportunity to read this book before its publication. Obviously I already have another book by the author downloaded on the Kindle and I really recommend reading this one! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

[Amy Imogene Reads]

DNF’d at 35%.

Disclaimer: No shade to anyone who enjoys the fictional fantasy of this book.

I can’t do it, y’all, this one had such bad BDSM etiquette that I squicked myself out. I was invested in the initial pitch line of this story so I expected some moderate toxicity/fantasy-based love angles that skewed the line of decent vs. wow, no thanks… but when we hit the first big scene between the characters it lost me with the lack of prep talk as our vanilla MC was thrown into a heavy BDSM scene with zerooo mental awareness/prep and it got weird too fast.

Practice safe BDSM, folks 🥴 Even in fiction. (Just my opinion, y’all do you in your fiction fantasies.)

[ari · Rating 3 out of 5]

for a short story, it honestly wasn’t that bad. i enjoyed the bit of drama that was there and the loads of steam that occured as well. i wasn’t expecting the mini plot twist which made this story somewhat more enjoyable as well.

[Miranda · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars- I actually enjoyed this a lot, finished it in 1 day and I wasn’t ready for this to be over. I wasn’t sure about Mateo at first but he grew on me, I think he is very sweet and sexy and exactly what Travis needed.
Happy I read this, good job Ashley James!

[MunWolfieSNM · Rating 5 out of 5]

They say everything happens for a reason. That you’re never given more than you can handle. To trust the process. Well, I don’t know who ‘they’ are, but disrespectfully, they can go fuck themselves. Without lube.

Ha sido maravilloso entrar a este libro casi a ciegas, sin haber leído atenta la sinopsis, porque no me esperaba para nada que se conocieran así, y me ha parecido fascinante. Nunca había leído a dos protagonistas cuyo primer encuentro fuera ese desastre, de modo que me ha parecido bastante original.

Leaning in, I say right in his ear, “You know how fucking hot you look all angry like that?”

Resulta que Travis lleva más de cinco años con su novio, al que conoció en el último año de universidad, y ha decidido pedirle matrimonio porque quiere un futuro con él. Pero cuando llega a casa para preparar la sorpresa, resulta que su novio está desnudo, en la cama que comparten y siendo empalado por un dios griego, que justo se corre, junto al novio, en ese momento con Travis mirando. Como toda persona racional en esa situación, Travis le lanza una lámpara, que acaba impactando contra el amante, y se larga.

All I’ve wanted since I was a kid is somebody to love me, to pick me, to choose me, like I’m Meredith fucking Grey out here.

Y en su afán por empezar de nuevo y tratar de olvidar todos estos años perdidos, se muda solo a una nueva casa. Y resulta, por azares del destino y el poder del guion, que su nuevo vecino es nada más y nada menos que el guapísimo tío que se estaba tirando a su novio.

“You’re a fucking prick, you know that?”
“I do know that, baby. But one day, you’ll find it endearing. Trust me.”

Dicho tío guapísimo se llama Mateo Rojas y es mecánico en el taller de su tío, con el que vivió desde que sus padres lo echaron de casa cuando era un adolescente porque era gay (fuck them). Y Mateo, que solo consigue correrse en ese encuentro cuando aparece Travis porque le parece guapísimo y le pone su cara de enfadado, no puede creerse su suerte al conocer oficialmente a su nuevo vecino.

“Oh, baby, it’s cute that you think you’ll be able to walk away from me once we’re through.” Bringing our bodies flush again, he nips along my jaw before he continues. “I’ll be your worst goddamn nightmare, your new drug of choice, cariño.”

Enseguida decide que le encanta hacerle de rabiar, pero pronto se da cuenta de que en realidad quiere hacerle de todo. La oportunidad se presenta sola cuando una tormenta de nieve y un poco de torpeza dejan a Travis fuera de su casa sin llaves y sin móvil. Se queda en casa de Mateo (un poco a regañadientes) hasta que el cerrajero pueda venir, y sucede lo inevitable: se acuestan.

“I’m going to cut you open, wring you dry, and when you finally manage to escape my claws, you’ll be crawling back, begging for more. You’ll leave here a fucking fiend for the way I’ll make you feel. I promise you that.”

A partir de ahí, Mateo solo quiere más de Travis, y Travis intenta por todos los medios evitar caer en la tentación, pero no es fácil y termina sucumbiendo un par de veces más. Entre encuentros, citas ganadas por apuestas que acaban con Mateo confesando sus traumas y Travis viéndolo más como un ser humano y no un idiota (por lo de tirarse a su novio) o una roca (porque parece que nada le afecta), empiezan a importarse mucho el uno al otro.

“I bet you bleed pretty. I bet you cry pretty, too.” His body towers over mine now, full, cherry red lips brushing against my ear. “And I bet when you’re turned inside out and fucking ruined for me, you’ll be the prettiest fucking mess I’ve ever tasted.”

Mateo lo dice claramente, que se dejen de juegos y se den una oportunidad, pero Travis entra en pánico y le rechaza. Se da cuenta de que no hay motivo para ello, que Mateo ha insistido e insistido para estar cerca suya y que se ve que de verdad quiere algo con él. y vuelve a pedirle perdón. Así continúan como un mes, acostándose de forma casual, pasando casi todo su tiempo juntos, haciendo mucho más que tener sexo, pero sin que Mateo se atreva a volver a decir que lo hagan oficial, y con Travis intentando mantenerse a una distancia prudencial.

“Tell me how much you can’t fucking stand me, baby, while I have your body trembling with need from only my fingers. Tell. Me.”

Pero Mateo no puede más, le gusta Travis y quiere estar con él, así que le prepara una sorpresa para demostrarle que le importa de verdad, que siempre va a intentar hacerlo feliz y que con él no debe tener miedo, y lo lleva a hacer Snowboard, que le encanta, y a una cabaña en la montaña. Travis no puede negar lo tocado que está por el gesto, y terminan haciéndose novios justo ahí. Tres años después, para celebrar su aniversario, vuelven juntos a aquella cabaña los dos con la misma intención secreta: pedirse matrimonio y vivir juntos por el resto de sus vidas.

“You can run, baby, but you can’t hide.”

Desde el puto primer capítulo, cuando Travis lleva seis meses con el imbécil, se veía claramente que esa relación no le iba a hacer ningún bien. Pero Travis es una persona que busca a alguien que le priorice, que le de amor, que lo tenga como primera opción y que le de un futuro y seguridad, y en cuanto uno viene prometiendo eso, es capaz de obviar todas las señales que le indican que no lo va a cumplir.

He wants to own me, to mark me and make sure everybody knows it’s him doing it, and in this moment, on my knees before him, in one of the most submissive positions there is, I realize I want that too. To be wanted so wholly, they want the world to know.

En la página 20 ya estaba metidísima, deseando que rompiera con el chico este porque se veía que lo estaba engañando de todas las formas posibles. Cuando están en la fiesta y Travis le pide explicaciones sobre por qué está ahí cuando le dijo que estaba trabajando, y encima abrazando a otro chico, y consigue que Travis crea que la culpa de la discusión es suya por no confiar y que sienta que siempre la caga él... Quería matar a alguien, concretamente al bobo ese que ni voy a mencionar. Ha sido muy satisfactorio el puñetazo que le da Mateo al innombrable. No a la violencia y todo eso, pero joder si se lo merecía.

Mateo looks like a wrecked God towering over me, owning me, while I can do nothing more than sit here and take it. Take all that he’s giving me. And I do. I want it all.

Así que esta circunstancia provocó que en el primer capítulo, ya quisiera muchísimo a Travis. Necesitaba que saliera de esa relación y oh, qué decepción me llevé cuando en el capítulo siguiente ponía Cuatro años después... Y SEGUÍAN JUNTOS. Amigo, no. Desde el primer momento que aparece se veía que le estaba engañando, y se pasa cinco años y pico con él. I can't. Así que cero sorpresa cuando, la noche en que Travis va a pedirle matrimonio, se lo encuentra en la cama con otro. No hizo que doliera menos, porque ahí ya le quería mucho.

He kisses me until I’m breathless. Until I don’t even know what’s happening. He kisses me until the water finally runs cold. He kisses me until a longing ache forms in my chest, telling me I never want him to stop.

Creo que este libro ha sido el libro de romance en el que más ha tardado en salir el segundo protagonista. Los primeros cinco o seis capítulos son de Travis y su relación con el idiota, y luego como se muda y empieza una nueva vida tratando de superarlo. Y hasta el 16% o así no aparece Mateo. A ver, aparece antes porque se está tirando al bobo cuando Travis los encuentra, pero tú no sabes que es él (aunque yo lo sospeché, porque le estaban describiendo demasiado, a él y a sus expresiones, como para no ser importante).

“Wanna smoke this with me?” He says it so nonchalantly, like he didn’t just piss all over my chest and then subsequently come all over my face.

Mateo, que será muchas cosas pero tímido no es una de ellas, nada más ver a Travis en su edificio empieza a flirtear con él. Sabe lo que quiere y no duda en ir a por ello. Tiene paciencia, espera por Travis, pero da el paso cuando tiene que darlo. Me ha caído muy bien, aunque es verdad que al principio se porta un poco como un imbécil. Tenía que haberle dicho antes que él no sabía que tenía novio, y hay comentarios que le hace al principio que están muy feos..

He’s such a beautiful, stunning, infuriating man.

Pero por favor, cómo no derretirme con las palabras en español que iba soltando. Cariño, guapo, mi amor. Me las imaginaba con el acento de Alex Claremont-Díaz en la peli jsjsj.

“You know there’ll be no one else, right, cariño? Whether you want to believe it or not, you’re. Fucking. mine.” Each word is spoken with a violent strike of his hips. “My lips to kiss. My body to mark. My pussy to fill. Mine.”

Me ha puesto nerviosa como Xander (el mejor amigo de Trav) y el propio Travis juzgaban a Mateo sin conocerle de nada. Que sí, que Mateo tenía que haberles dicho que no sabía que tenía novio, pero tampoco le preguntan. Lo dan por hecho y no se fían de él, hasta el punto de no querer darle una oportunidad, o que Xander le diga que tenga cuidado porque seguro que no va en serio. No le conocen, no pueden saber si va en serio o no. Bueno, de hecho sí pueden, estaba demostrando con sus acciones y su determinación lo en serio que iba.

Travis is mine, and my feelings for him only get larger and more intense as the days go on. I need him to see that for what it is. I need him to believe that like I need water to hydrate my body.

Y fijate que he sentido que iba lento, y que no eran muchas páginas, pero no me ha faltado nada, he sentido la relación súper desarrollada y ha habido un montón de escenas de sexo, pero también las han tenido de otro tipo (en citas, en la fiesta de compromiso, hablando, viendo pelis). Ha sido perfecto.

“So, what’s this mean for you and me, mi amor?” I wince, feeling my cheeks heat.
“Baby steps?” I offer with a lazy shrug.
“Fuck that,” he snorts. “I think this means I’m your boyfriend.”

Y hablando de las escenas de sexo, que maldita maravilla todas. La boquita sucia de Mateo casi me hace desmayarme varias veces, y sus habitaciones con juguetes, columpios, cruces. La escena de spanking, la de la duchita. Y en la que Mateo hace de pasivo, confiando así e que Travis va a cuidar de él como no lo hizo su ex. Me han flipado.

And as I watch him mingle with my sister, appearing totally comfortable, I realize, not for the first or the second or even the third time, how fucking lucky I am to have him. How much better my life is with him in it. And how that man is going to be my husband one day, and nothing has ever made me as proud as that.

Eso sí, he tenido miedo porque por un momento parecía que Mateo iba a perdonar por completo a su madre. Quedarse mirando y no hacer nada mientras tu padre te da una paliza, te envía a un campamento de terapias de conversión y te echa de casa, es absolutamente imperdonable. Era un niño y tu deber era protegerle le gustase lo que le gustase. Me parece muy bonito que quisiera proteger a su hermana y no decirle lo que pasó, pero muy injusto que por eso la hermana estuviera todo el rato intentando que se reconciliaran. Se que si la hubiera perdonado como si nada este libro no tendría 5⭐. Y aunque no es perfecto, porque sí acepta bailar con ella y le responde el teléfono, si es bastante realista, porque en todo momento dice que se siente incómodo con ella y que no puede perdonar, pero que por su hermana puede intentar estar bien con ella en la boda y ya se verá.

Travis is absolutely everything I never thought I’d find. He has me wanting things I didn’t think were possible, and I never thought I’d find myself happy about breaking a relationship up, but when it comes to Travis, I couldn’t be happier because it landed us here. And nothing feels more right than this. Than us.

Me encanta porque esto empezaba con Travis yendo a pedir matrimonio a un tío que se estaba tirando a otro, y termina con Travis yendo a pedir matrimonio a un tío que se lo iba a pedir también a él. Cerrar el círculo de la mejor manera posible.

[Ana · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has me so conflicted: there are times where it really shines, the writing is engaging, the sex is hot and very well written, there is heartbreak and being vulnerable but still trusting the new guy won't mess it up.
And it's super sweet, especially the last pages.
But. The kinky parts/bdsm are so watered-down it borders on boring? Bdsm for vanilla readers?
The trigger warnings (dubcon, somnophilia, water sports, impact play, blood play...there is spit play and some degradation as well but it's not mentioned) had me excited for the story- but it couldn't deliver.
For me a bdsm story is about the journey, how you explore and discover a new side of yourself or maybe even learn to be your true self. If you start your journey maybe throw some insecurities or struggle before surrendering my way.
But here we get absolutely no insight into both MC's mind.
Their first time having sex is a full on d/s scene, which gave me whiplash. How did Mateo know Travis would be on board with being handled like that? Ok, maybe he's a super experienced and full on perceptive Dom, who just senses stuff like that, but I would expect some kind communication at some point in their progressing relationship.
And how did Travis make a transition like that? Just flip a switch?
Doesn't seem super realistic to me. I felt cheated out on the whole development and growing into their roles/relationship.

I feel this story is more of a dipping your toes into some kinkier reads kind of experience, fluffy and sweet with a bad boy turned golden retriever mc.

This would have been a 2 stars rating, but how those two met, their meet-cute is the bomb 😂