“Time is not a line but a dimension..You don't look back along time but down through it, like water. Sometimes this comes to the surface, sometimes that, sometimes nothing. Nothing goes away.''
Margaret Atwood's novel Cat’s Eye dazzled me. It is brilliant and beautifully written. It takes on the topic of friendships of girls between the ages of 8-12 and how those years can affect their emotional development into adulthood. Atwood has an uncanny knowledge of these girls and their struggles which is rendered in psychologically penetrating detail. Atwood uses bullying to show a nasty part of life for some of these young girls, how critical "fitting in" is for them and the lengths they will go to feel liked by their peers.
On a personal note I have to say that I was not bullied in school. Several of my friends have shared with me their experiences of being bullied. Thank you. Though I wasn't bullied at school I was bullied at home by a family member so I am very much acquainted with bullying. I can vouch for Atwood's thesis that we are our memories.
Elaine Risley, our narrator, is a Canadian painter who, at age 50, has returned to her childhood city of Toronto for a retrospective of her work. The dull, provincial city of her youth has changed greatly since she left. It is now ''New York without the garbage and muggings.” But in the week she is there her interest in the city's new galleries, restaurants and shops and in the retrospective itself, is minimal. Her focus, and the novel's, is all on the past, on those images and memories that surface unexpectedly, of many people, but mostly of Cordelia, her childhood friend and tormentor.
With the beginning of each section of this story we are with Elaine in the present. Something in the present triggers a memory and the story travels seamlessly to the past, picking up where the story left off. Most of the novel takes place in the past. Both time frames are written in the first person so we get to know Elaine in the present tense, in both the present and the past, lending great immediacy to the story and most importantly, reflecting that emotions and memories remain in the present. I was with Elaine every step of the way and I felt what she felt: pride, unworthiness, sadness, joy, love, pain, worry, happiness, terror, etc..
One of the first scenes in the novel is of Elaine visitng the site where her exhibit will take place. Elaine notices that someone has drawn a mustache on Elaine's picture outside the gallery which is holding a retrospective of her art. I love her reaction to this which is so apt:
"Suddenly I feel wonder. I have achieved finally a face that a mustache can be drawn on, a face that attracts mustaches, a public face, a face worth defacing. This is an accomplishment. I have made something of myself.... after all.”
Elaine's first eight years are spent on the road with her family, as her father, an entomologist, tracks infestations across northern Canada. For Elaine and her brother it is an enchanted existence, ''irregular, and slightly festive,'' a life of motels and tents, but it little prepares her for the life that is to follow when her parents move to Toronto, to a new and only partially completed tract house in a growing suburb. There, amid the tightly prescribed rituals, Elaine quickly learns that there are .''things my parents have been keeping from me, things I need to know'': a whole vocabulary of household words, ''chintz,'' ''coat tree,'' … and the need for braids, dressing gowns and purses, the whole, complicated world of girls. At one point Elaine thinks she has finally figured out one of the secrets to fitting in:
"Something is unfolding, being revealed to me. I see that there's a whole world of girls and their doings that has been unknown to me, and that I can be part of without making any effort at all. I don't have to keep up with anyone, run as fast, or aim as well..… I don't have to think about whether I do these things well, as well as a boy. All I have to do is sit on the floor and cut frying pans out of the Eaton's Catalogue with embroidery scissors, and say I've done it badly.”
Elaine learns that it is shameful to want to be successful, to admit that you made an effort at something or to be proud of your ability. Instead, ."yours is so much better than mine,".. or ."I'm so bad at this,”.. are the correct things to say. The aim of these remarks is to receive a compliment and to be flattered by your friends. But they are also about forcing conformity and mediocrity. It is better to deliberately do something badly than to admit that you want to or can do something well.
At the center of Elaine’s new world is Cordelia. Cordelia lives in one of the larger houses, a house with… a powder room, napkin rings, egg cups. Her mother paints and has a cleaning woman. Elaine lives in an unfinished house with very little furniture (at first) and no frills. Certainly not a cleaning woman because Elaine’s mother likes to clean, to do all the work herself. Fashion is not on Elaine’s mother’s mind, while it is very important to. Cordelia and all the people in the neighborhood.
Cordelia sees the difference in Elaine and is scornful and manipulative. Elaine adores her and Cordelia finds in Elaine a target for her “improvements.” In the campaign of terror that follows, Cordelia and her two friends surround Elaine throughout her day, pointing out her failings, her weaknesses, mocking the way she walks, the way she eats, the way she laughs. They ostracize her and torment her with her own image:
“Cordelia brings a mirror to school … She takes it out of her pocket and holds the mirror up in front of me and says ‘Look at yourself! Just look!’ Her voice is disgusted.”
Though this cruelty feels very specific to Elaine, there’s also something universal about it. The adult Elaine remembering this bullying realizes that women are always judged and “there is no end to imperfection”..
Faced with this reign of terror Elaine submits and feels that she needs to learn from Cordelia in order to be liked by her and the other girls.
’'I am not normal, I am not like other girls. Cordelia tells me so, but she will help me. . . . It will take hard work and a long time….She is my friend. She likes me. She wants to help me, they all do. They are my friends… I have never had any before and I’m terrified of losing them. I want to please. Hatred would have been easier… I would have known what to do.”
This bullying goes on for a long time until a major event changes Elaine’s outlook as well as her relationship to Cordelia.
It is very fitting that Elaine becomes an artist and paints the faces of women. For one thing, she grew up with parents and a brother who made things with their hands instead of buying them when possible. More importantly, her art is her outlet for all the trauma and mixed feelings from her childhood and a way to try to come to terms with those feelings. Her paintings mostly showcase the different forms and faces of women. At her retrospective we notice that Elaine is comfortable with men but a bit wary of women. The reader understands exactly why.
.Cat's Eye is a stunning novel with a lot to say, more than I could write about in this review for fear of spoilers (and because this review is long enough). Through Elaine's raw, heartwarming and heart-wrenching story we witness Atwood's idea that "your memories are you.... They never go away" and all that that means for Elaine and possibly for the reader. This novel inevitably leads the reader to think about his/her own memories and how they exist in you in the present and how they may have impacted your life.
.Cat's Eye is one of the best books I've read this year and is an all-time favorite. Completely immersed in Elaine's world and mind while reading this book I got to know Elaine so well that she feels like a real person about whom I care deeply.
The memory of this book lives in me.
I cannot recommend this book highly enough to anyone left on this planet who has not read it yet.