We hung heavily from trees.

by Sonia M. Dubinsky

Does it really matter how I arrived at this place, this hollow existence of a so-called life; this netherland situated just beyond the reach of youth? Loneliness fills the spaces between one year and the next, and I wonder what led me to this meaningless and empty sea of days now bounding my life. Loss and tragedy are sharp pruning tools slashing away at the fabric of my existence. They leave nothing but dead and leafless branches in their wake, and just like dead branches, I feel ready to face the fire. The day before my husband and four year old daughter were killed by a drunk driver in broad daylight, a crow affixed itself to the screen of our kitchen window. I'd been washing the dishes and paused when it began beating frantic and fragile wings against the casement. I'd been home alone, and the crow had startled me. Despite attempting to shoo it away, it persisted with its frenzied movements. Just before it surrendered and took flight, it fixed me with cold obsidian eyes. After the funeral when everyone had gone home to their lives and families, I was left alone with my grief and now empty house. The crow suddenly reappeared, hopping up onto the deck and peering in through the patio doors. I'd been seated at the kitchen table, my head lowered onto my two hands, weeping without seeming end. It began pecking at the door, cocking its head and cawing loudly. I tried to warn you, the crow said. I know, I replied to the empty room that would never be full again. In the next instant, the crow flew away, never to return.

353 pages, Paperback

Published March 25, 2023

About the author

Sonia Dubinsky holds a Bachelor's and Masters degree in Social Work. She has practiced social work and worked extensively in the field of addictions in the Northwest Territories, Yukon, Saskatchewan, and Alberta. She currently resides in British Columbia with her cat, Gus.

"Beneath a Judas Moon" is her first published novel. followed by " Reasons Why We Ghost Dance", and "Lightning Bugs in June".