This was another riveting read and a continuation of the haunting childhood memoir of Jennifer Lauck. It is a disturbing, emotional, and heart wrenching picture of loneliness and abuse that she suffered under a succession of people who didn't really love or care for her properly after her parents died. The author admits that she only gave this book two stars because she felt she rushed the writing of it because of her publisher's demands. Nine years later she wrote another; and, in her words, a better sequel. I thought this sequel was a gripping page turner!
This book literally picks up where Blackbird leaves off. Jennifer's "evil" stepmother has sent her away to live with her paternal grandparents. She is standing at a bus terminal in Reno, Nevada waiting for her grandfather to pick her up. She waits with her pink trunk stuffed with all her favorite memorabilia and possessions. Her grandparents live a routine and predictable life where she feels safe and secure. In trying to do what they think is best for her, they send her to live with her Aunt Peggy and Uncle Dick (from her father's side of the family) in Black Sparks, Nevada. She is devastated. It doesn't take long to figure out that she is living with them because they need her social security checks, slave-type labor, and babysitting duties. There is no love expressed in this equation, and she is told that if she is found looking or "mooning" over her parents wedding photos, her mother's pearls or ring or any treasures in the pink trunk, they will be thrown away. Later her aunt and uncle adopt her and she becomes Jenny Duemore, they force her to call them mom and dad, and they promise to set aside money from the social security checks to pay for her future education.
Jennifer's high school years are predictably very restrictive, her "parents" up and move to St. Helens, Washington in 1978 and Spokane in 1980. In both places more trauma awaits her. She has a succession of boyfriends, dreams of leaving home for college, discovers her "parents" didn't save any money for her education, finally gets to go to college, her 1st marriage doesn't work out, and much more. Her brother Bryan had also been passed from caretaker to caretaker. Bryan got to choose who he wanted to live with and his choice is a tragic mistake. His path to adulthood somewhat parallels Jennifer's, but Bryan can't emotionally handle all the inner demons caused from happened to him and sinks into pain and depression with deadly results.
The second half of the book is Jennifer's reflective journey using her skills as an investigative journalist to search for answers on what caused her brother's death. The book details several trips she takes in her quest to find answers to long sought out questions that have plagued her. She also finds out what happened to her real mother and father and also learns that Aunt Georgia and Uncle Charles (from her mother's side of the family) had wanted to adopt and love her but were refused by her "evil" stepmother. Her life might have been so different. Her support base during her search is her 2nd husband Steve and her son Spencer whom she loves unconditionally in the way that she never was.
A quote from the author - "We are the product of our experiences; everything we believe and know comes from them. Unless we are truly enlightened, we can't have real "freedom". I see my journey is to keep looking at my life and digging for layers of understanding," Hopefully she has found the peace she was desperately seeking and is living a "normal" life. A compelling and page-turning read. Highly recommended. Be sure and read Blackbird first because this book will make more sense and have more meaning.