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Staying Alive: A Love Story
Staying Alive: A Love Story is a tale of hope and renewal that centers on Hayden's search for meaning after the untimely death of her 49-year-old husband. Coupled with other experiences of loss in her life—including one of her kidneys to cancer—she is determined to, with her children, persevere.
Like Annie Dillard, Hayden draws on the rhythms and rituals of the natural world to explore her Brooklyn roots and New England adulthood. Wild creatures and domesticated critters, seasides and hillsides proffer comfort and understanding as she comes to realize that "no more than a hairline and no less than an eternity" separate her from the man she loved. Even with the wear and tear her faith endures, it rarely diminishes.
Her purpose—to usher her two grieving children through a difficult adolescence to a well-adjusted adulthood—resonates through her own struggle. With the precise objectivity reminiscent of Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking and Joyce Carol Oates A Widow's Story , Hayden recounts the day her husband died and the rituals and obsessions of the bereaved. Forced to look at death straight in the eye, the author stares back, wide-eyed, without blinking through her tears.
Hayden also manages to be seriously droll—in an Anne Lamott way. Never is her humor more honed than in the portrayal of her deceased spouse, whose devotion, antics, and wisdom remain ever-present to those who are staying alive without him. His death becomes not only the family's heartbreak, but the loss of a well-executed life for all who knew him or will get to know him through her memoir.
Whether Laura Hayden's writing deals with herself, her children, or her cadre of loved ones, it is clear that she, her daughter, and her son emerge from their tragic loss survivors, not victims of Larry's death, an outcome of which he would be very pleased. In a culture of intentionally exposed and celebrated self-victimization, the story of this family may be considered a quiet triumph.
Like Annie Dillard, Hayden draws on the rhythms and rituals of the natural world to explore her Brooklyn roots and New England adulthood. Wild creatures and domesticated critters, seasides and hillsides proffer comfort and understanding as she comes to realize that "no more than a hairline and no less than an eternity" separate her from the man she loved. Even with the wear and tear her faith endures, it rarely diminishes.
Her purpose—to usher her two grieving children through a difficult adolescence to a well-adjusted adulthood—resonates through her own struggle. With the precise objectivity reminiscent of Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking and Joyce Carol Oates A Widow's Story , Hayden recounts the day her husband died and the rituals and obsessions of the bereaved. Forced to look at death straight in the eye, the author stares back, wide-eyed, without blinking through her tears.
Hayden also manages to be seriously droll—in an Anne Lamott way. Never is her humor more honed than in the portrayal of her deceased spouse, whose devotion, antics, and wisdom remain ever-present to those who are staying alive without him. His death becomes not only the family's heartbreak, but the loss of a well-executed life for all who knew him or will get to know him through her memoir.
Whether Laura Hayden's writing deals with herself, her children, or her cadre of loved ones, it is clear that she, her daughter, and her son emerge from their tragic loss survivors, not victims of Larry's death, an outcome of which he would be very pleased. In a culture of intentionally exposed and celebrated self-victimization, the story of this family may be considered a quiet triumph.
142 pages, Paperback
First published June 20, 2011
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
March 12, 2026
Staying Alive: A Love Story is a deeply moving memoir about grief, resilience, and the quiet strength it takes to rebuild life after loss. Laura Hayden writes with honesty and tenderness as she reflects on the sudden death of her husband and the difficult journey of guiding her children through their own grief.
What touched me most was how the author finds meaning and comfort in nature, family, and faith, even while facing unimaginable pain. Her reflections on love, loss, and survival feel raw yet hopeful, reminding readers that healing is possible even after life’s darkest moments. This book is both heartbreaking and uplifting, a powerful story about enduring love and the courage to keep moving forward.
What touched me most was how the author finds meaning and comfort in nature, family, and faith, even while facing unimaginable pain. Her reflections on love, loss, and survival feel raw yet hopeful, reminding readers that healing is possible even after life’s darkest moments. This book is both heartbreaking and uplifting, a powerful story about enduring love and the courage to keep moving forward.
April 23, 2026
I went into this book not really knowing what to expect, and it ended up affecting me more than I thought it would. What stood out most was how honest the author is about grief—there’s no attempt to make it neat or inspirational in a forced way. It’s messy, confusing, and sometimes even frustrating, which felt very real. I also appreciated how much focus she put on her children and how they navigated everything together. It’s not an easy read, but it’s one that stays with you long after you finish.
October 23, 2013
In STAYING ALIVE: A Love Story, Laura Hayden recalls the sequence of events that forever changed her life and the lives of her two children. Her husband was recovering from heart surgery. One moment he was doing well. Then, he was suddenly gone --- at way too young an age.
As the memoir unfolds, we learn that Laura Hayden is a person of deep faith, strong family ties, and stamina. Fortunate for her, as she will need and use the depth of these gifts in the years following her husband’s death. In her recollections, we learn about her ethnic roots and we get to know her humorous and insightful husband. Through her words, I felt the loss of the relationship, the loss to her children, just the loss of him as a person. I wish I had known him. When she reflects on the “why” questions and watches for “signs” that Larry is okay --- and maybe even still with them, perhaps in a different way, we absolutely understand, and recall moments in our own lives when we were there, too.
The ragged writing style in the initial chapters, whether intended as a literary device or not, draws us in. Once beyond the traumatic memories of his death, I noticed shifts in the author’s writing style, perhaps reflecting her changes in mood as she pieced the memoir together. Sometimes simple sentence construction and lean description, sometimes gritty dialogue and irreverence, sometimes crisp witty passages, sometimes eloquent reflections on the situation or the past --- her style adapts, just like she has done.
Over the course of the memoir journey, the author introduces us to the people in this family’s circle of life. The memoir vignettes, some funny, some sad, some thought provoking, take place in different time periods. As a reader in the same age group, I found they took me back in time in my own life, tapping memories I hadn’t thought about in a while. There are many laugh out loud moments and the clarity of the detail in the descriptions is at times astounding.
Reading Laura Hayden’s book, STAYING ALIVE… reminds me of a beautiful quote I read recently, “Life is like a piano. The white keys represent happiness, the black keys represent sadness. But, as you go through life’s journey, remember that the black keys also create music.” She has created music --- for her circle of life and for her readers.
As the memoir unfolds, we learn that Laura Hayden is a person of deep faith, strong family ties, and stamina. Fortunate for her, as she will need and use the depth of these gifts in the years following her husband’s death. In her recollections, we learn about her ethnic roots and we get to know her humorous and insightful husband. Through her words, I felt the loss of the relationship, the loss to her children, just the loss of him as a person. I wish I had known him. When she reflects on the “why” questions and watches for “signs” that Larry is okay --- and maybe even still with them, perhaps in a different way, we absolutely understand, and recall moments in our own lives when we were there, too.
The ragged writing style in the initial chapters, whether intended as a literary device or not, draws us in. Once beyond the traumatic memories of his death, I noticed shifts in the author’s writing style, perhaps reflecting her changes in mood as she pieced the memoir together. Sometimes simple sentence construction and lean description, sometimes gritty dialogue and irreverence, sometimes crisp witty passages, sometimes eloquent reflections on the situation or the past --- her style adapts, just like she has done.
Over the course of the memoir journey, the author introduces us to the people in this family’s circle of life. The memoir vignettes, some funny, some sad, some thought provoking, take place in different time periods. As a reader in the same age group, I found they took me back in time in my own life, tapping memories I hadn’t thought about in a while. There are many laugh out loud moments and the clarity of the detail in the descriptions is at times astounding.
Reading Laura Hayden’s book, STAYING ALIVE… reminds me of a beautiful quote I read recently, “Life is like a piano. The white keys represent happiness, the black keys represent sadness. But, as you go through life’s journey, remember that the black keys also create music.” She has created music --- for her circle of life and for her readers.
January 1, 2014
Having suddenly lost my precious husband 6 months ago, I have been reading many books that have to do with losing a loved one and whatever insight and help I might find on this painful pathway I have begun. That is the reason I decided to read this book.
Instead of finding a “how to help me book”, I found a beautiful, sincere memoir of a woman mourning the death of her husband. Yet while dealing with all the realities of her loss, she celebrates the life they had together.
Her husband had recently had bypass surgery and his family was relieved and looking forward to many more years together. A week later he dies suddenly due to complications. My heart broke for her. My husband survived 2 bypass surgeries and I remember how happy I was he would live. Many years later, he also died suddenly during a minor procedure not involving his heart.
I related to her story in so many ways: her shock, pain, walking through the fog and being slammed daily with the truth that the one you loved most is gone. Although it was not what I expected, the book was a blessing. By her sharing not only about her grief, but her memories with her husband, coping with day to day realities of his death, and her life years later, it helped me see a bigger picture.
When someone you love deeply dies, you find yourself focusing on your loss and sorrow. The wonderful memories that come to mind are tied to your grief at first. Ms. Hayden helped me realize those memories are a legacy and joy you will hold on to forever, even though at the present they are bittersweet. By sharing her journey I was reminded again there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If she made it through with God’s help as have many others before me, then I will too. Her writing was honest and transparent. I felt more like a friend walking with her throughout her story than someone reading her book. I can tell this was written straight from her heart.
I received this book free from the publishers through the Bookcrash.com book review program, which requires an honest, though not necessarily positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s CFR Title 16, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
Instead of finding a “how to help me book”, I found a beautiful, sincere memoir of a woman mourning the death of her husband. Yet while dealing with all the realities of her loss, she celebrates the life they had together.
Her husband had recently had bypass surgery and his family was relieved and looking forward to many more years together. A week later he dies suddenly due to complications. My heart broke for her. My husband survived 2 bypass surgeries and I remember how happy I was he would live. Many years later, he also died suddenly during a minor procedure not involving his heart.
I related to her story in so many ways: her shock, pain, walking through the fog and being slammed daily with the truth that the one you loved most is gone. Although it was not what I expected, the book was a blessing. By her sharing not only about her grief, but her memories with her husband, coping with day to day realities of his death, and her life years later, it helped me see a bigger picture.
When someone you love deeply dies, you find yourself focusing on your loss and sorrow. The wonderful memories that come to mind are tied to your grief at first. Ms. Hayden helped me realize those memories are a legacy and joy you will hold on to forever, even though at the present they are bittersweet. By sharing her journey I was reminded again there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If she made it through with God’s help as have many others before me, then I will too. Her writing was honest and transparent. I felt more like a friend walking with her throughout her story than someone reading her book. I can tell this was written straight from her heart.
I received this book free from the publishers through the Bookcrash.com book review program, which requires an honest, though not necessarily positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s CFR Title 16, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
October 23, 2013
I was interested to read the story of how this woman dealt with the unexpected death of her husband at a very young age. This is listed as a Christian book. It is not. The author is Catholic, and the beginning of it just made me feel worse and worse as she seemed to have no hope. Yes, I would be devastated if my husband died, but I also know I will see him again in Heaven. The book made me think of the verse in the Bible that says "But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep [dead], that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope." (1Th 4:13). What finished the book off for me was her not just swearing, but actually using the 'f' word!! I was horrified that this was listed as a "Christian" book! I did a super fast flip through the rest of the book and while the pages were flipping saw at least two more swear words. Needless to say, I did not finish this book. If I could give it no stars, I most certainly would. No only can I not recommend this book, I heartily recommend that you do not read it!
I received a copy of this book from BookCrash for my honest review. I also contacted them per the issues above before actually writing this review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
I received a copy of this book from BookCrash for my honest review. I also contacted them per the issues above before actually writing this review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews