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Crisol #18
Chastity: Reconciliation of the Senses
The word 'chastity', at first sight, may seem intimidating, something to be dismissed out of hand. It is, however, something very different to celibacy.
At a time when religion is in decline in the Western world and when it often seems that the senses have run riot, Erik Varden shows that chastity, the single minded direction of the senses, is a loveable quality and one that affects and beautifies humankind.
The terms sexuality and wholeness indicate that to be sexual is to exist in a state of incompleteness longing to be restored. Wholeness points to a healing embrace that we desire so greatly. In Biblical language, chastity is a function of simplicity of sight. We are no longer torn apart by our passions and our desires, indeed they may reach their fulfilment. Body and spirit, male and female, order and disorder, passion and death can move from creative tension to a new kind of wholeness.
Varden's text is enriched by a wide range of references to scripture, literature, music, painting and sculpture.
At a time when religion is in decline in the Western world and when it often seems that the senses have run riot, Erik Varden shows that chastity, the single minded direction of the senses, is a loveable quality and one that affects and beautifies humankind.
The terms sexuality and wholeness indicate that to be sexual is to exist in a state of incompleteness longing to be restored. Wholeness points to a healing embrace that we desire so greatly. In Biblical language, chastity is a function of simplicity of sight. We are no longer torn apart by our passions and our desires, indeed they may reach their fulfilment. Body and spirit, male and female, order and disorder, passion and death can move from creative tension to a new kind of wholeness.
Varden's text is enriched by a wide range of references to scripture, literature, music, painting and sculpture.
176 pages, Paperback
Published January 2, 2024
110 people are currently reading
509 people want to read
About the author
Erik Varden
22 books39 followersErik Varden is a monk and bishop, born in Norway in 1974. In 2002, after ten years at the University of Cambridge, he joined Mount Saint Bernard Abbey in Charnwood Forest. Pope Francis named him bishop of Trondheim in 2019.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews
November 21, 2023
Primer libro que leo de Erik Varden. Es un prodigio de referencias culturales para mí desconocidas. Varden entiende bien y conoce con profundidad el sentir del hombre posmoderno y sus anhelos más hondos...detecta y descubre la ausencia de un sentido antropológico doloroso y tragico. Y lo que es más valioso: sabe presentar desde esa búsqueda de sentido, el mensaje cristiano con una autenticidad atrayente. Una gran aportación.
August 5, 2024
A wise, sensitive, often intriguing handling of a virtue that doesn't get much good press anymore!
October 30, 2025
Far from a didactic lecture on the virtue, this was a gently lyrical (and at times surprising) exploration of human nature and the human heart. The heart of the person as expressed in sexuality, with all the complexity and potential therein.
Beautiful. Highly recommend.
Beautiful. Highly recommend.
April 5, 2024
This is an excellent book on the human person and our complex reality of sexuality, which touches all of one’s life whether married, celibate, or single. I definitely recommend this read for all who are looking for a more profound understanding of the beautiful integration that is chastity in the human person.
January 16, 2025
Great little work encouraging us to see chastity not as the absence and denial of a good thing but a full orientation towards the good. This Roman Bishop does a commendable job recognising how both the faithful celibate and married couple point each other in different ways to the true reality of the church. The only thing really knocking this down to a four star is the fact that Varden far too often practices etymological haruspicy in an attempt to find the true meaning behind words, which is a practice that at best I am skeptical of.
April 14, 2024
I furiously highlighted so many parts of this book.
October 19, 2024
an appealing work of christian anthropology, drawing on a variety of sources from 'high' culture to patristics (as varden always does in his blog writings), primarily seeking to correct the stale connotations around chastity and redefine it more holistically (which is, expectedly, successful) and full-bloodedly (which is, apart from a couple of highlights — i.e. mackay brown's "magnus" paragraphs; "for she loved much" analysis — less so)
the absence of any mention of homosexuality was a glaring and disappointing omission in a work that otherwise seemed neatly tied together and touched on closely adjoining topics. pleasant reading overall, with a lot of enjoyable insights and commentary, but as a whole not much more than an appendix of sorts to the theology of the body
the absence of any mention of homosexuality was a glaring and disappointing omission in a work that otherwise seemed neatly tied together and touched on closely adjoining topics. pleasant reading overall, with a lot of enjoyable insights and commentary, but as a whole not much more than an appendix of sorts to the theology of the body
July 1, 2025
A lovely contemplation on how the virtue of chastity, as properly understood, allows one to become truly human. That is, to live as one who was created in the image and likeness of God. I will revisit this book time and time again!
On a side note—the combination of Bishop Varden’s spiritual depth and intellectual prowess is unparalleled in the Church today. His writing is always a great source of spiritual fruit in my life—I can’t recommend it enough. Here is a link to his blog— https://coramfratribus.com
On a side note—the combination of Bishop Varden’s spiritual depth and intellectual prowess is unparalleled in the Church today. His writing is always a great source of spiritual fruit in my life—I can’t recommend it enough. Here is a link to his blog— https://coramfratribus.com
November 25, 2025
Absolutely beautiful. I'm so so glad I read this. We rarely truly ponder chastity as a virtue. It's only ever hotly debated, criticized, or enforced. Varden shows how complex and layered human desire is, without being dogmatic or didactic about sexuality at all. Insightful, even for non-Christians.
September 16, 2025
3.5/5
Erik Varden is a gifted writer whose previous book The Shattering of Loneliness: On Christian Remembrance I much appreciated. In Chastity: Reconciliation of the Senses, Varden examines what strikes most of the world as one of the most "puritanical" virtues (indeed, it would be too narrow to limit chastity purely to sexuality as the cultivation of temperance in most all areas of life is good practice, but as Louise Perry notes in The Case Against the Sexual Revolution: A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century, we have reached a point in Western society in which virginity, especially even male virginity, is disparaged).
Like C.S. Lewis in The Four Loves, Varden mines church tradition and high culture to inspire and texture his reflections. Yet I think that this dilutes the book in the end; yes, for being a monk and bishop Varden has insightful ruminations about chastity (I appreciated how tenderly he writes of those who succumb to sexual temptation; rather than vilifying them for moral offence - though he acknowledges failings as sin - he recognizes how often those who fall are either driven to darkness by loneliness or enthralled to addiction) but it still seems a bit too cerebral, even disembodied, to appeal to Richard Wagner's opera Tristan and Isolde or poetry for material in which to draw out how we such pursue chasteness in our callings in modern life. Yes, appeals to art can provide some shared work to which we look to in order to explore meaning and significance together, but I am not sure Emil Boyson's poems will stimulate the undergrad to temperance. But then, I am also being unfair; most people who pick up a book on chastity these days are likely readers who already recognize its goodness, rather than an apologetic for it, and in that case, Varden's book offers percipient reflections.
Erik Varden is a gifted writer whose previous book The Shattering of Loneliness: On Christian Remembrance I much appreciated. In Chastity: Reconciliation of the Senses, Varden examines what strikes most of the world as one of the most "puritanical" virtues (indeed, it would be too narrow to limit chastity purely to sexuality as the cultivation of temperance in most all areas of life is good practice, but as Louise Perry notes in The Case Against the Sexual Revolution: A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century, we have reached a point in Western society in which virginity, especially even male virginity, is disparaged).
Like C.S. Lewis in The Four Loves, Varden mines church tradition and high culture to inspire and texture his reflections. Yet I think that this dilutes the book in the end; yes, for being a monk and bishop Varden has insightful ruminations about chastity (I appreciated how tenderly he writes of those who succumb to sexual temptation; rather than vilifying them for moral offence - though he acknowledges failings as sin - he recognizes how often those who fall are either driven to darkness by loneliness or enthralled to addiction) but it still seems a bit too cerebral, even disembodied, to appeal to Richard Wagner's opera Tristan and Isolde or poetry for material in which to draw out how we such pursue chasteness in our callings in modern life. Yes, appeals to art can provide some shared work to which we look to in order to explore meaning and significance together, but I am not sure Emil Boyson's poems will stimulate the undergrad to temperance. But then, I am also being unfair; most people who pick up a book on chastity these days are likely readers who already recognize its goodness, rather than an apologetic for it, and in that case, Varden's book offers percipient reflections.
February 21, 2025
A beautiful and provocative book, all in all. There are two images which will particularly stick with me: the gyrovagrant and the omnivagrant (the former being like a mule who is tethered and can only circle and empty well, while the latter is free to go anywhere), and the idea of mankind possessing an iconic nature beneath his fallen human nature. The latter is tied to the unfallen state in which we were created, clothed in glory and innocence. I like the idea of a God-intended nature being hidden in our depths, towards which our desires call, buried beneath the murk of fallen nature and confused in its experience. These insights take up the first quarter of the book and is really spectacular reading and inspiring of new vision.
Going on from this, the book presses for new sources and angles from which to understand and explore the Gospel’s call to chastity. He leans on modern literature and theatre in ways that are at times edgy but always thought provoking and profound. These sections proceed from a consideration of man’s visceral experience of Eros, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. In the third quarter he moves to a consideration of the Sayings of the Desert Fathers which is perhaps the least profound segment in its content, not because of the sayings themselves, but merely because it is ground well-covered by many before him - chastity as a change of sight/way of seeing, etc.
Going on from this, the book presses for new sources and angles from which to understand and explore the Gospel’s call to chastity. He leans on modern literature and theatre in ways that are at times edgy but always thought provoking and profound. These sections proceed from a consideration of man’s visceral experience of Eros, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. In the third quarter he moves to a consideration of the Sayings of the Desert Fathers which is perhaps the least profound segment in its content, not because of the sayings themselves, but merely because it is ground well-covered by many before him - chastity as a change of sight/way of seeing, etc.
December 11, 2025
Having finished my first read-through of this book, with a quick glance back at the first few paragraphs, I think this book’s purpose is as follows: to uncover the true meaning of chastity from beneath the abuses, misconceptions, and caricatures that have buried it for some time now. Bp. Varden has wonderfully put out a reminder to us all – intended for both the Church and the world – that chastity is no mortifying suppression of our ‘true self’, but rather a reintegration and reconciliation of all that makes us human into that blessed order God made us to live in. Rather than presenting a systematic definition of chastity, which is honestly what my engineering-trained brain was looking for as I went into this book, Varden illuminates the virtue by ‘appealing to universal experience, then trying to read such experience in the light of revelation.’ On this front, I think he absolutely succeeded. Calling upon playwrights, musicians, artists, authors, monks, composers, martyrs, poets, rabbis, and more, he uses art in all its forms to beautifully paint the ‘tensions’ that all humans live in. The point of this? To remind us that these tensions are unnatural and provisional, yet precious parts of the human experience that remind us of where we come from, where we are, and where we are going. “That is why I am keen to ground my reflection on chastity in the narrative of a dignified substance divinely adorned, then stripped of glory, reduced to a state of confused desire, ever wanting more than earthly life can provide yet able, even among thorns, to know moments of exultant joy, proceeding homeward – whether or not one knows where home is – robed in mercy.”
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June 23, 2024I'm not sure what exactly to say of this. A Roman Catholic book on sanctification that combines helpful wisdom, useful spiritual insights and strange (to protestant ears) anecdotes and details of monasticism.
It is helpful at teaching its reader to consider all Things as signs pointing to God and hence all desires as desires that ought to be directed (directly or indirectly) to him; with any other path being disordered and ultimately dissatisfying.
Whilst I found parts of this helpful, I probably don't recommend it.
It is helpful at teaching its reader to consider all Things as signs pointing to God and hence all desires as desires that ought to be directed (directly or indirectly) to him; with any other path being disordered and ultimately dissatisfying.
Whilst I found parts of this helpful, I probably don't recommend it.
September 3, 2024
The author of the book is Erik Varden, who holds the titles of both monk and bishop. The primary focus of the text is a semantic exploration of chastity. It is important to note that chastity should not be equated with celibacy. While celibacy represents a specific and relatively uncommon vocation, chastity is a virtue that is applicable to everyone.
The institutionalization of chastity may have contributed to feelings of frustration and deviation, primarily due to a narrowed perspective that was originally meant to expand emotional capacity but ultimately restricted it to a suffocating degree. By confining chastity solely to the mortification of the senses, it becomes a mechanism that undermines the development of one's character.
The English word 'chaste' has its roots in the Romance languages, deriving from the Latin 'castus,' which itself can be linked to the Greek adjective 'katharos,' meaning 'pure.'
This work represents the author's endeavor to liberate the concept of chastity from the confines of overly restrictive classifications, thereby enabling it to expand, extend its reach, and engage in a more liberated expression, potentially even to the point of vocalization.
As an individual committed to the practice of chastity, I found this book to be satisfactory. I was unaware at the time of purchase that the author held the position of a bishop. While there is nothing inherently problematic about this, I noted that the text was predominantly focused on Orthodox Christian themes. The content related to his faith significantly outweighed the discussions on chastity. Nevertheless, when the author addressed chastity directly, I found his insights to be profoundly relatable.
The institutionalization of chastity may have contributed to feelings of frustration and deviation, primarily due to a narrowed perspective that was originally meant to expand emotional capacity but ultimately restricted it to a suffocating degree. By confining chastity solely to the mortification of the senses, it becomes a mechanism that undermines the development of one's character.
The English word 'chaste' has its roots in the Romance languages, deriving from the Latin 'castus,' which itself can be linked to the Greek adjective 'katharos,' meaning 'pure.'
This work represents the author's endeavor to liberate the concept of chastity from the confines of overly restrictive classifications, thereby enabling it to expand, extend its reach, and engage in a more liberated expression, potentially even to the point of vocalization.
As an individual committed to the practice of chastity, I found this book to be satisfactory. I was unaware at the time of purchase that the author held the position of a bishop. While there is nothing inherently problematic about this, I noted that the text was predominantly focused on Orthodox Christian themes. The content related to his faith significantly outweighed the discussions on chastity. Nevertheless, when the author addressed chastity directly, I found his insights to be profoundly relatable.
December 7, 2023
El libro podría resumirse en una sola palabra: Fascinante. El autor, noruego, converso y obispo -en ese orden- trata el tema de manera sencilla y elocuente, y para muestra un boton:
“Quiero fundamentar mi reflexión sobre la castidad en el relato de una sustancia dignificada y divinamente adornada, luego despojada de gloria, reducida a un estado de deseo confuso, queriendo siempre más que lo que la vida terrena puede ofrecer y sin embargo capaz, aun entre espinas, de vivir momentos de alegría exultante, avanzando hacia su casa —sepa o no dónde está—, revestida de misericordia.”.
Hágase lector un favor e hínquele el diente cuanto antes. Es un texto corto, además; ideal para templar el espíritu en medio de los tiempos que corren /AE
“Quiero fundamentar mi reflexión sobre la castidad en el relato de una sustancia dignificada y divinamente adornada, luego despojada de gloria, reducida a un estado de deseo confuso, queriendo siempre más que lo que la vida terrena puede ofrecer y sin embargo capaz, aun entre espinas, de vivir momentos de alegría exultante, avanzando hacia su casa —sepa o no dónde está—, revestida de misericordia.”.
Hágase lector un favor e hínquele el diente cuanto antes. Es un texto corto, además; ideal para templar el espíritu en medio de los tiempos que corren /AE
January 1, 2024
The depth of linguistic commentary and breadth of referenced literature make this an utterly compelling work.
November 11, 2023
Breathtaking and beautiful.
December 9, 2024
Probably the best book on chastity anyone could read. Highly recommend.
June 3, 2024
Really interesting look at chastity - not just in the sense we're all thinking of, but in terms of all the senses. Bp Varden looks at the idea of 'wholeness' and understanding what makes us soul and body, and how that fits in with how God calls us.
"When God proceeded to form man with his right hand, he made him from the four created elements: heat and cold, dryness and moisture. Another wonder: making an image of Himself, why would God make use of such beggarly stuff? He did it so that, by them, all things would be subject to man and show their purpose through him." p.37
At the beginning Varden talks about how Adam moved outside the garden of Eden and slowly we have moved further and further away (The Cave of Treasures) and how we were clothed in skins; turning this into being clothed with light after the coming of Jesus.
He then moves on to talk about 'Tensions' (in the senses and body), and 'Negotiating Passion', how we can find redemption through forgiveness of our sins, but also how we can sustain our 'purity of soul' from the wiles of the devil (but how he can still use our past to haunt us). "St Mary of Egypt, who spent an energetic career as a prostitute in Alexandria for seventeen years, told Abba Zossima that she lived, after her conversion, with vivid mental and physical memories of her professional life for a corresponding seventeen years." p.137
The book does talk about chastity in relation to sexuality as well but looks at chastity with a more holistic view than merely being sexual. "Sexuality is more than a matter of physical need, physical functions. It is 'an overflowing, an inundation of soul'. p.68 It further talks about how chastity is often misunderstood even within the Church: "An error Christians have often made is to assume that chastity is somehow normal; but no, it is exceptional." p121
I liked the way the author used many stories regarding music to show his themes. In 'Tensions' we see about the 'fatal eros' and how our emotions are connected with so much of our being that it feels like it can be fatal. "He [Christoph Schlingensief] says he has come to believe that Wagner's music is dangerous music, celebrating not life, but death." p.90 "Eros, be it through high art, touches depths in us for which we have no words. It calls forth a sacrificial impulse of which we may not be aware - except in the darkness of the night."p.91
Ultimately, in a world which is now almost devoid of ethics and morals, it is a reminder of what we, as Christians, are called to do by God and His Church.
"When God proceeded to form man with his right hand, he made him from the four created elements: heat and cold, dryness and moisture. Another wonder: making an image of Himself, why would God make use of such beggarly stuff? He did it so that, by them, all things would be subject to man and show their purpose through him." p.37
At the beginning Varden talks about how Adam moved outside the garden of Eden and slowly we have moved further and further away (The Cave of Treasures) and how we were clothed in skins; turning this into being clothed with light after the coming of Jesus.
He then moves on to talk about 'Tensions' (in the senses and body), and 'Negotiating Passion', how we can find redemption through forgiveness of our sins, but also how we can sustain our 'purity of soul' from the wiles of the devil (but how he can still use our past to haunt us). "St Mary of Egypt, who spent an energetic career as a prostitute in Alexandria for seventeen years, told Abba Zossima that she lived, after her conversion, with vivid mental and physical memories of her professional life for a corresponding seventeen years." p.137
The book does talk about chastity in relation to sexuality as well but looks at chastity with a more holistic view than merely being sexual. "Sexuality is more than a matter of physical need, physical functions. It is 'an overflowing, an inundation of soul'. p.68 It further talks about how chastity is often misunderstood even within the Church: "An error Christians have often made is to assume that chastity is somehow normal; but no, it is exceptional." p121
I liked the way the author used many stories regarding music to show his themes. In 'Tensions' we see about the 'fatal eros' and how our emotions are connected with so much of our being that it feels like it can be fatal. "He [Christoph Schlingensief] says he has come to believe that Wagner's music is dangerous music, celebrating not life, but death." p.90 "Eros, be it through high art, touches depths in us for which we have no words. It calls forth a sacrificial impulse of which we may not be aware - except in the darkness of the night."p.91
Ultimately, in a world which is now almost devoid of ethics and morals, it is a reminder of what we, as Christians, are called to do by God and His Church.
August 23, 2024
Chastity is a word that we find uncomfortable but through this excellent deep dive into the concept, Varden enables us to see that chastity is more about being fully directed in one direction and in doing so freed from the fragmentation that we often feel when pulled in multiple directions by different desires.
Erik Varden’s understanding of chastity is one that has really helped me to think deeper about desire and my purpose as a person in such a way that has enabled me to be inspired and empowered to live a life fully alive.
I would recommend this book for all and especially those who feel like they are lost in a fragmentation of their inner life, confused as to what they are meant to be.
Ubi amor, ibi oculus
Erik Varden’s understanding of chastity is one that has really helped me to think deeper about desire and my purpose as a person in such a way that has enabled me to be inspired and empowered to live a life fully alive.
I would recommend this book for all and especially those who feel like they are lost in a fragmentation of their inner life, confused as to what they are meant to be.
Ubi amor, ibi oculus
February 20, 2025
A lot to chew on; I highly recommend it. There were a few places that were quite emotionally challenging for me. I’m going to read it again!
November 27, 2025
This book is absolutely incredible and I would recommend it to anyone! Varden masterfully weaves so many novels, plays, musicals, scripture, and artwork into his writing. I loved it!
April 3, 2025
“To do something beautiful for its own sake, for the intrinsic delight of it, without thought of gain: this, I'd say, is a way of beginning to live chastely in this world, poised to balance elegantly on whatever surging billow providence provides as a means to bear us homeward, towards the shore.”
I love the connections the author makes to the transcendentals. Deep and insightful book, but best for readers who have a good philosophical anthropology foundation.
I love the connections the author makes to the transcendentals. Deep and insightful book, but best for readers who have a good philosophical anthropology foundation.
May 29, 2025
Brilliant reflections throughout. My favorite part was chapter 2 when he offers a kind of phenomenological analysis of fallen humanity. We cannot simply follow what is natural because our nature is fallen, which we know experientially to be true.
But I will say all the art references got to be too much for me. Kept having to recreate stories and paintings in my head just to get his illustration.
But I will say all the art references got to be too much for me. Kept having to recreate stories and paintings in my head just to get his illustration.
February 27, 2025
An amazing, beautiful, erudite book. I only wish I were brainy enough to appreciate it fully. The long passages quoting in Greek or other languages seem a bit like showing off but, knowing the author, I’m sure his intention is the opposite.
February 18, 2024
Me encontré con este libro de casualidad en la feria diocesana de la diócesis de Orihuela-Alicante (Lux Mundi). El stand de libros estaba repleto de libros interesantísimos, algunos de ellos incluso llevaban en mi lista de pendientes desde hacía meses. Nunca había oído hablar de este libro, pero sentí algo muy especial al verlo. Sentí que era el libro que necesitaba llevarme a casa ese día, como si Dios mismo me lo indicase. Tanto fue así que volví corriendo antes de que cerrasen los stands solo para comprarlo. Y he de decir que no soy una persona de compras impulsivas, siempre he sido muy prudente en ese sentido.
Tras leerlo, puedo confirmar que Dios efectivamente sabía que lo necesitaba. A veces uno piensa que vive justamente, que está por encima del pecado. Pero de fondo hay cierta tensión. Y caes una y otra vez en pensamientos inadecuados, impulsivos y cosificadores, prácticamente de manera automática. Este libro te ayuda a darte cuenta del problema: no estás viendo al otro como Dios nos ve. ¿Quién no querría volver a mirar el mundo con los ojos de la infancia? Con inocencia infinita, en el que buscamos conocer al otro como realmente es, sin esperar el mal por su parte, sin vuelta de hoja. Dios nos creó con un ideal de santidad, con esa mirada limpia que se regocija en la harmonía del todo. A pesar de la caída en el pecado del ser humano como conjunto, estamos llamados a reconstruir este ideal de vida, esta mirada. Y entendiendo la sexualidad como algo hermoso, que nos llama a trascender y eso es lo que hace que jamás pueda saciarnos en su versión "recreativa" que tanto se nos vende por todos lados hoy en día. La sexualidad solo nos eleva cuando es fecunda y formando parte de una unión sin medida, en cualquier otro caso, nos engañamos si pensamos que nos completará, o haremos más feliz a la otra persona. Un ensayo enormemente esclarecedor.
Tras leerlo, puedo confirmar que Dios efectivamente sabía que lo necesitaba. A veces uno piensa que vive justamente, que está por encima del pecado. Pero de fondo hay cierta tensión. Y caes una y otra vez en pensamientos inadecuados, impulsivos y cosificadores, prácticamente de manera automática. Este libro te ayuda a darte cuenta del problema: no estás viendo al otro como Dios nos ve. ¿Quién no querría volver a mirar el mundo con los ojos de la infancia? Con inocencia infinita, en el que buscamos conocer al otro como realmente es, sin esperar el mal por su parte, sin vuelta de hoja. Dios nos creó con un ideal de santidad, con esa mirada limpia que se regocija en la harmonía del todo. A pesar de la caída en el pecado del ser humano como conjunto, estamos llamados a reconstruir este ideal de vida, esta mirada. Y entendiendo la sexualidad como algo hermoso, que nos llama a trascender y eso es lo que hace que jamás pueda saciarnos en su versión "recreativa" que tanto se nos vende por todos lados hoy en día. La sexualidad solo nos eleva cuando es fecunda y formando parte de una unión sin medida, en cualquier otro caso, nos engañamos si pensamos que nos completará, o haremos más feliz a la otra persona. Un ensayo enormemente esclarecedor.
January 28, 2024
Bishop Varden is a shining voice for today's Church. This is the first book I've read from him, having first come across his blog "coram fratribus". What stands out about Varden is his ability to pierce through the often chaotic landscape of discordant voices and controversies that characterize so much of Church life. He does this by digging deep into patristic, monastic, literary, and artistic sources with an understanding undoubtedly fed by his own monastic vocation.
If you're coming to this book about Chastity looking for a detailed discussion of sexual morality, this is not that. Rather what Varden offers is an exploration of what Chastity is at the deeper level of the entire person in relation to God. For Varden, we cannot be at peace with our passions and senses unless we allow them to point us beyond ourselves, and to God. This loss of any sense of the transcendent in secular society -- and unfortunately in much of the Church as well -- is what has led to so much confusion in the realm of sexuality and gender. We no longer understand the tension of our sexed bodies because we have lost sight of the transcendent reality reflected in them.
Read this book! It's a valuable piece of spiritual reading, and very timely book.
If you're coming to this book about Chastity looking for a detailed discussion of sexual morality, this is not that. Rather what Varden offers is an exploration of what Chastity is at the deeper level of the entire person in relation to God. For Varden, we cannot be at peace with our passions and senses unless we allow them to point us beyond ourselves, and to God. This loss of any sense of the transcendent in secular society -- and unfortunately in much of the Church as well -- is what has led to so much confusion in the realm of sexuality and gender. We no longer understand the tension of our sexed bodies because we have lost sight of the transcendent reality reflected in them.
Read this book! It's a valuable piece of spiritual reading, and very timely book.
December 22, 2024
El amor es la pasión más fundamental del ser humano, que nos lleva a querer unirnos al amado. Sólo podemos entendernos desde el horizonte del amor. El resto de nuestras emociones se pueden entender en base a lo que amamos. Por ejemplo, la tristeza por la ausencia del amado, la esperanza por saber que nos uniremos a él o la ira por los obstáculos que se ponen entre el amante y su deseo. El Amor es sinónimo de unidad entre los amantes, y es la principal característica de la Trinidad: La Unidad esencial en el amor de las tres Personas Divinas. Cómo todo efecto participa de la causa de la que procede, se puede rastrear signos Trinitarios en la creación entera. Una mente contemplativa puede observar las huellas del Amor en todo lo que observa, cómo hacen los monjes más asceticos, participando de esta manera ya en la tierra de la Vida verdadera de la cuál nuestro camino es solo un vago reflejo.
Los seres humanos somos imagen de Dios por nuestra voluntad y razón, pero nuestro cuerpo y realidad material participa también de la trinidad y es a su vez también imagen de Dios. El cuerpo humano en su dicotomia femenina y masculina conforma una unidad, el ser humano, cuya característica principal es que revela nuestra vocación fundamental al don de nosotros mismos. Nuestros propios cuerpos reflejan lo que nuestro interior nos dice y es que nos realizamos en la entrega.
Las relaciones conyugales en el altar del lecho matrimonial son un reflejo de la vida interior de la Trinidad, donde el varón y la mujer se funden en una sola carne en un amor procreativo y unitivo, un amor que produce vida, una tercera persona, profundamente amada desde el inicio. Son un signo e imagen eficaz de la Unidad en el Amor creativo y unitivo del Padre por el Hijo y el Hijo por el Padre que produce la procesión del Espíritu Santo en el interior de la Santisima Trinidad. El Varón ama, y sólo en el don de si mismo puede encontrarse. La mujer ama y sólo en el don de si misma puede encontrarse.
El génesis relata la negación a esta vocación por parte del hombre, y con ello la caída desde la perspectiva del don hacia un encierro en sí mismo y hacia el deseo desordenado por la posesión. Esta caída, narra el génesis, rompe el amor desinteresado de la primera pareja humana e introduce entre ellos el interés propio. Si antes de la caída Adán y Eva eran capaces de estar desnudos y no sentir vergüenza era porque veían sus cuerpos cómo lo que son, esto es, reflejo físico, biológico, espiritual... de la vocación al don de si mismos de forma desinteresada. La caída desdibuja esta vocación e introduce la vergüenza por el deseo de poseer para si el cuerpo ajeno:
"De mis ojos deben caer las escamas que vuelven mi mirada solo hacia adentro, hacia mis necesidades, mis deseos. Hay una resonancia de ello en las palabras de Cristo: «el que mira a una mujer para desearla, ya cometió adulterio con ella en su corazón» (Mt 5,28). La clave está en la preposición após, “para”. Lo que se evoca no es una respuesta de cuerpo y alma ante un encuentro espontáneo con la belleza. Esta no es una experiencia necesariamente impura ya que revela al hombre como hombre y a la mujer como mujer. Puede dar lugar al asombro y a la acción de gracias, estar llena de alegría y conducir al amor. Por el contrario, el destinatario de la advertencia evangélica es alguien que ha despertado en sí mismo un hambre de satisfacción y busca un objeto para saciarlo. Si hay sexo en esta escena, solo está presente como apetito egocéntrico. Quien escudriña su entorno no como un buscador de comunión, sino como un consumidor, tiene su atención puesta en su lujuria, no en el otro. Y esto —dice Cristo es indigno de un ser humano. Degrada al sujeto que acecha y humilla al objeto codiciado, presente solo como carne."
Perdida la pureza, nos vemos obligados a vestirnos para no ser humillados ni usados. El deseo desordenado de poseer, en este caso los cuerpos, no se desliga del deseo de posesión del resto de bienes terrenales. Al hombre caído le caracteriza la completa y total dependencia enfermiza de lo mudable, poniéndo este amor por encima del amor al Prójimo y Dios. El hombre caído, de esta manera, se encuentra desordenado en su interior, con dificultades para restablecer su unidad afectiva y espiritual, con un deseo completamente inestable entre los distintos bienes de manera continua e insaciable. Por eso, nuestra tendencia es a ser esclavos de nuestras pasiones y deseos, sobretodo de nuestro ego, hasta tal punto que podemos asegurar que la mayor parte de nuestros sufrimientos en esta vida vienen, por encima de las enfermedades y heridas físicas, de nuestro orgullo herido por no ser quienes deseamos ser.
La castidad es la virtud que permite pasar de la esclavitud de las posesiones y el sufrimiento por orgullo a la libertad de la humildad. Equilibra nuestras emociones, permite la integración de todos nuestros deseos hacia la Caridad y nos lleva a un estado más virtuoso que la desnudez originaria del Edén. La Castidad permite reconciliar los sentidos y nos devuelve la oportunidad de amar desinteresadamente.
Esta no consiste en la represión de los deseos, sino en su redireccion, en guiar lo humano hacia su realización plena, hacia el don de si mismo, permitiendo que la sexualidad vuelva a ser imagen de la Trinidad y cada relación conyugal un canto de alabanza a Dios.
Los seres humanos somos imagen de Dios por nuestra voluntad y razón, pero nuestro cuerpo y realidad material participa también de la trinidad y es a su vez también imagen de Dios. El cuerpo humano en su dicotomia femenina y masculina conforma una unidad, el ser humano, cuya característica principal es que revela nuestra vocación fundamental al don de nosotros mismos. Nuestros propios cuerpos reflejan lo que nuestro interior nos dice y es que nos realizamos en la entrega.
Las relaciones conyugales en el altar del lecho matrimonial son un reflejo de la vida interior de la Trinidad, donde el varón y la mujer se funden en una sola carne en un amor procreativo y unitivo, un amor que produce vida, una tercera persona, profundamente amada desde el inicio. Son un signo e imagen eficaz de la Unidad en el Amor creativo y unitivo del Padre por el Hijo y el Hijo por el Padre que produce la procesión del Espíritu Santo en el interior de la Santisima Trinidad. El Varón ama, y sólo en el don de si mismo puede encontrarse. La mujer ama y sólo en el don de si misma puede encontrarse.
El génesis relata la negación a esta vocación por parte del hombre, y con ello la caída desde la perspectiva del don hacia un encierro en sí mismo y hacia el deseo desordenado por la posesión. Esta caída, narra el génesis, rompe el amor desinteresado de la primera pareja humana e introduce entre ellos el interés propio. Si antes de la caída Adán y Eva eran capaces de estar desnudos y no sentir vergüenza era porque veían sus cuerpos cómo lo que son, esto es, reflejo físico, biológico, espiritual... de la vocación al don de si mismos de forma desinteresada. La caída desdibuja esta vocación e introduce la vergüenza por el deseo de poseer para si el cuerpo ajeno:
"De mis ojos deben caer las escamas que vuelven mi mirada solo hacia adentro, hacia mis necesidades, mis deseos. Hay una resonancia de ello en las palabras de Cristo: «el que mira a una mujer para desearla, ya cometió adulterio con ella en su corazón» (Mt 5,28). La clave está en la preposición após, “para”. Lo que se evoca no es una respuesta de cuerpo y alma ante un encuentro espontáneo con la belleza. Esta no es una experiencia necesariamente impura ya que revela al hombre como hombre y a la mujer como mujer. Puede dar lugar al asombro y a la acción de gracias, estar llena de alegría y conducir al amor. Por el contrario, el destinatario de la advertencia evangélica es alguien que ha despertado en sí mismo un hambre de satisfacción y busca un objeto para saciarlo. Si hay sexo en esta escena, solo está presente como apetito egocéntrico. Quien escudriña su entorno no como un buscador de comunión, sino como un consumidor, tiene su atención puesta en su lujuria, no en el otro. Y esto —dice Cristo es indigno de un ser humano. Degrada al sujeto que acecha y humilla al objeto codiciado, presente solo como carne."
Perdida la pureza, nos vemos obligados a vestirnos para no ser humillados ni usados. El deseo desordenado de poseer, en este caso los cuerpos, no se desliga del deseo de posesión del resto de bienes terrenales. Al hombre caído le caracteriza la completa y total dependencia enfermiza de lo mudable, poniéndo este amor por encima del amor al Prójimo y Dios. El hombre caído, de esta manera, se encuentra desordenado en su interior, con dificultades para restablecer su unidad afectiva y espiritual, con un deseo completamente inestable entre los distintos bienes de manera continua e insaciable. Por eso, nuestra tendencia es a ser esclavos de nuestras pasiones y deseos, sobretodo de nuestro ego, hasta tal punto que podemos asegurar que la mayor parte de nuestros sufrimientos en esta vida vienen, por encima de las enfermedades y heridas físicas, de nuestro orgullo herido por no ser quienes deseamos ser.
La castidad es la virtud que permite pasar de la esclavitud de las posesiones y el sufrimiento por orgullo a la libertad de la humildad. Equilibra nuestras emociones, permite la integración de todos nuestros deseos hacia la Caridad y nos lleva a un estado más virtuoso que la desnudez originaria del Edén. La Castidad permite reconciliar los sentidos y nos devuelve la oportunidad de amar desinteresadamente.
Esta no consiste en la represión de los deseos, sino en su redireccion, en guiar lo humano hacia su realización plena, hacia el don de si mismo, permitiendo que la sexualidad vuelva a ser imagen de la Trinidad y cada relación conyugal un canto de alabanza a Dios.
July 23, 2024
Is chastity sexy again? Depends who you ask.
For the Focus-adjacent, the young daily-Massers, the people who quote Chesterton and Lewis, the cool nerds and wannabe cool nerds, perhaps so. I was recommended this book by one such fellow, whose cohort I’d like to think I share, at least in part.
I read a chapter a day on my trip to Krakow, and somehow each chapter had something important to say about the day before, or something to prime me for the adventure in the day ahead. Questions were asked and answers given, answers which were infinitely knowable and will require much more contemplation to grasp.
In this book, we look at some word roots (katharos- catharsis-inner cleansing-castus-chaste)-classic. We look at some plays I almost guaranteed you’ve never seen or read, some operas you haven’t attended, some poems nobody’s ever read to you. It’s pretty sophisticated stuff. I need to catch up, don’t know about you. Is to be chaste to also be cultured?
We look at Genesis (also classic). But strap in, it’s a deep dive. You WILL get something out of it that you’ve never thought of. This book doesn’t just have little nuggets, it’s got whole meals that you will get overwhelmed by the sight of and then bookmark them for a later dinner because there’s just SO MUCH THERE.
Do you want to be clothed in glory? Do you want to see into the mystery of your own fall and redemption, and be overwhelmed by it? When you open this book, blinding light flies in your face and you have to deal with that. Will you shrink away from it? Or will you allow your eyes to adjust? Will you choose to see chastity for its connotation or for its truth? Will you reduce it to the dimension of what you heard that one embarrassing day in Sunday school (it’s more comfortable that way), or will you frolic while singing the Song of Songs and drinking in the sweetness and beauty that has been given you? Will you let your truest, most insatiable desires lead you on in the path towards the things that are good, or will you truncate and distort your perception of reality to fit with what you know is safe to think and feel?
“The way to order, for most of us, goes through disorder; to try to sidestep it is to risk sidestepping life.”
When we can be truly present with our own contradictions, while resting in the mercy given to us by the One from whom all arises, we have nothing to fear, because “Christ does not flee from our contradictions”. Christians get so tied in a knot when faced with modern ideologies, but for a man like Varden, he sees the acronym LGBTQ+ as “an ineffable acronym pointing towards a seemingly endless realm of possibility, like a secular appropriation of the tetragrammaton”…”the creed ‘you can be whatever you like’ may awaken people to the scope of becoming that lies at the heart of Christian hope. The rainbow logo unwittingly reproduces a Biblical symbol whose message is ‘God is faithful’ (Gen. 9:13)” Obviously, Varden denounces the ultimate meaning of the movement, but he doesn’t “write it off” as something that can’t be a window worth peering into to uncover our desires for the infinite. THIS is the kind of author I’ve been waiting for, because he is not afraid to see into culture to find the truth about ourselves, even in seemingly unlikely or scandalous places.
Varden sees clearly, and to see clearly is to become a contemplative, and to contemplate is to fulfill the purpose for which you exist. “…the Almighty set man in the middle of the world as ‘universi contemplator…’”
“Christians know a lot about presumption. From the beginning, presumption caused humankind to veer off course.”
So cast all presumptions of what you think chastity is aside, and allow Christ to give sight to your eyes in this book.
For the Focus-adjacent, the young daily-Massers, the people who quote Chesterton and Lewis, the cool nerds and wannabe cool nerds, perhaps so. I was recommended this book by one such fellow, whose cohort I’d like to think I share, at least in part.
I read a chapter a day on my trip to Krakow, and somehow each chapter had something important to say about the day before, or something to prime me for the adventure in the day ahead. Questions were asked and answers given, answers which were infinitely knowable and will require much more contemplation to grasp.
In this book, we look at some word roots (katharos- catharsis-inner cleansing-castus-chaste)-classic. We look at some plays I almost guaranteed you’ve never seen or read, some operas you haven’t attended, some poems nobody’s ever read to you. It’s pretty sophisticated stuff. I need to catch up, don’t know about you. Is to be chaste to also be cultured?
We look at Genesis (also classic). But strap in, it’s a deep dive. You WILL get something out of it that you’ve never thought of. This book doesn’t just have little nuggets, it’s got whole meals that you will get overwhelmed by the sight of and then bookmark them for a later dinner because there’s just SO MUCH THERE.
Do you want to be clothed in glory? Do you want to see into the mystery of your own fall and redemption, and be overwhelmed by it? When you open this book, blinding light flies in your face and you have to deal with that. Will you shrink away from it? Or will you allow your eyes to adjust? Will you choose to see chastity for its connotation or for its truth? Will you reduce it to the dimension of what you heard that one embarrassing day in Sunday school (it’s more comfortable that way), or will you frolic while singing the Song of Songs and drinking in the sweetness and beauty that has been given you? Will you let your truest, most insatiable desires lead you on in the path towards the things that are good, or will you truncate and distort your perception of reality to fit with what you know is safe to think and feel?
“The way to order, for most of us, goes through disorder; to try to sidestep it is to risk sidestepping life.”
When we can be truly present with our own contradictions, while resting in the mercy given to us by the One from whom all arises, we have nothing to fear, because “Christ does not flee from our contradictions”. Christians get so tied in a knot when faced with modern ideologies, but for a man like Varden, he sees the acronym LGBTQ+ as “an ineffable acronym pointing towards a seemingly endless realm of possibility, like a secular appropriation of the tetragrammaton”…”the creed ‘you can be whatever you like’ may awaken people to the scope of becoming that lies at the heart of Christian hope. The rainbow logo unwittingly reproduces a Biblical symbol whose message is ‘God is faithful’ (Gen. 9:13)” Obviously, Varden denounces the ultimate meaning of the movement, but he doesn’t “write it off” as something that can’t be a window worth peering into to uncover our desires for the infinite. THIS is the kind of author I’ve been waiting for, because he is not afraid to see into culture to find the truth about ourselves, even in seemingly unlikely or scandalous places.
Varden sees clearly, and to see clearly is to become a contemplative, and to contemplate is to fulfill the purpose for which you exist. “…the Almighty set man in the middle of the world as ‘universi contemplator…’”
“Christians know a lot about presumption. From the beginning, presumption caused humankind to veer off course.”
So cast all presumptions of what you think chastity is aside, and allow Christ to give sight to your eyes in this book.
December 17, 2025
Varden, who's a Trappist monk and bishop, tackles chastity not as some ancient rule or repression, but as this beautiful reconciliation of the senses. A way to heal the rifts in our lives caused by sin and disorder. He starts right in Genesis, and I particularly note how he unpacks a line from God to Eve: "Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you" (Genesis 3:16). He gives a lexical breakdown of the Hebrew word תְּשׁוּקָה (t’shuqah), which only appears three times in the Bible. He does consider it to be about needy, unbridled female sexuality or women cowering. Instead, Varden shows it is more akin manipulation and control, like in Genesis 4:7 where sin is of desire for Cain is predatory, not fawning.
Post-Fall, male-female relations aren't one-sided domination but mutual rivalry and exploitation. Communion turns to menace, and that's where grace steps in for healing.
He builds on that with this idea of the world as "kosmos," from the Greek for order and beauty, like how cosmetics accentuate symmetry. In my highlights, I noted how Genesis 1:2 describes creation starting "void and empty" but ending fully furnished and ornate. Sin disrupts this order, sin comes from the word ἁμαρτία (hamartia), originally meaning "to miss the mark" in games, now signifying failure of purpose. He also touches later on Matthew 5:28: lust isn't spontaneous admiration of beauty but self-centered appetite, the original Greek rendering being closer to "in order to" lust.
Sin came through one man (Adam), bringing death and disorder, but through Christ's obedience, we're made righteous (Romans 5). Varden emphasizes that we all live in this disordered state, diverted from our true thriving in God.
One of my favorite parts was his take on the Psalms as an "enclosed garden" (from Athanasius), where David represents the Every-man, we find not just David in the Psalms but ourselves.
He touches on Joseph as a "most chaste" father, not possessive, but freeing his child to explore life. Chastity here is "freedom from possessiveness in every sphere," the opposite of imprisoning love. As Pope Francis is quoted: "God loves with chaste love, leaving us free even to stray."
Varden brings in vivid stories too, like Mary Magdalene as an "incarnation of passion." Drawing on apocryphal sources, he depicts her betrothed to John, feeling betrayed when Jesus calls him away. She storms Simon's banquet for revenge, using manipulative "desire" from Genesis, but encounters Christ's sorrow and pours out her "phial of memories" instead. It's raw and redemptive—disordered eros kindling sanctifying love.
Ascetic rest clears the heart to see sin, like a puddle of dirty water disturbed, unable to see one's reflection until the water stills. Passions fade if not stimulated, leaving only remembrance.
Very interesting, and short. Give it a read.
Post-Fall, male-female relations aren't one-sided domination but mutual rivalry and exploitation. Communion turns to menace, and that's where grace steps in for healing.
He builds on that with this idea of the world as "kosmos," from the Greek for order and beauty, like how cosmetics accentuate symmetry. In my highlights, I noted how Genesis 1:2 describes creation starting "void and empty" but ending fully furnished and ornate. Sin disrupts this order, sin comes from the word ἁμαρτία (hamartia), originally meaning "to miss the mark" in games, now signifying failure of purpose. He also touches later on Matthew 5:28: lust isn't spontaneous admiration of beauty but self-centered appetite, the original Greek rendering being closer to "in order to" lust.
Sin came through one man (Adam), bringing death and disorder, but through Christ's obedience, we're made righteous (Romans 5). Varden emphasizes that we all live in this disordered state, diverted from our true thriving in God.
One of my favorite parts was his take on the Psalms as an "enclosed garden" (from Athanasius), where David represents the Every-man, we find not just David in the Psalms but ourselves.
He touches on Joseph as a "most chaste" father, not possessive, but freeing his child to explore life. Chastity here is "freedom from possessiveness in every sphere," the opposite of imprisoning love. As Pope Francis is quoted: "God loves with chaste love, leaving us free even to stray."
Varden brings in vivid stories too, like Mary Magdalene as an "incarnation of passion." Drawing on apocryphal sources, he depicts her betrothed to John, feeling betrayed when Jesus calls him away. She storms Simon's banquet for revenge, using manipulative "desire" from Genesis, but encounters Christ's sorrow and pours out her "phial of memories" instead. It's raw and redemptive—disordered eros kindling sanctifying love.
Ascetic rest clears the heart to see sin, like a puddle of dirty water disturbed, unable to see one's reflection until the water stills. Passions fade if not stimulated, leaving only remembrance.
Very interesting, and short. Give it a read.
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