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As We Forgive: Stories of Reconciliation from Rwanda
Inspired by the award-winning film of the same name. If you were told that a murderer was to be released into your neighborhood, how would you feel? But what if it weren't only one, but thousands? Could there be a common roadmap to reconciliation? Could there be a shared future after unthinkable evil? If forgiveness is possible after the slaughter of nearly a million in a hundred days in Rwanda, then today, more than ever, we owe it to humanity to explore how one country is addressing perceptual, social-psychological, and spiritual dimensions to achieve a more lasting peace. If forgiveness is possible after genocide, then perhaps there is hope for the comparably smaller rifts that plague our relationships, our communities, and our nation. Based on personal interviews and thorough research, As We Forgive returns to the boundary lines of genocide's wounds and traces the route of reconciliation in the lives of Rwandans---victims, widows, orphans, and perpetrators---whose past and future intersect. We find in these stories how suffering, memory, and identity set up roadblocks to forgiveness, while mediation, truth-telling, restitution, and interdependence create bridges to healing. As We Forgive explores the pain, the mystery, and the hope through seven compelling stories of those who have made this journey toward reconciliation. The result is a narrative that breathes with humanity and is as haunting as it is hopeful.
288 pages, Paperback
First published February 10, 2009
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews
October 23, 2009
What does forgiveness really look like? How can you forgive someone who seemingly took everything away that made life worth living: family, homes, and trust? What kind of power is it that can look someone who has hurt you in the deepest way, and forgive them? This is what As We Forgive is about, specifically how do Rwandan survivors of the 1994 genocide forgive those who broke into their homes, chased them down in the wild and sought to wipe them out.
The 1994 Rwandan genocide, where Hutu attacked and murdered over 800,000 Tutsi's is hard to fathom in its brutality and suddenness. Larson, on staff with Prison Fellowship Ministries, writes of a defined process that leads to genocide and in reverse, of a process that leads forgiveness.
She has focused on seven specific individuals, in three chapter segments, to tell an arc of a story from before, during, and after the genocide. The three chapter segments are broken up by seven interlude chapters that reflect on what the real applications of forgiveness, comfort, and what repairing broken relationships looks like.
By telling personal stories in an engaging writing style, Larson does a fine job of taking the reader from the abstract to the very real and personal. She only introduces the political issues that motivated the genocide, and steps out of the way to tell of very human stories of brutality and in return peace and reconciliation.
The writing is never explicit when stories of the genocidal acts are told, but they are hard to read, especially when old neighbors and friends turn on each other. There are times after reading an especially difficult passage, I had to put aside the book for a day or so, because of the sheer horror involved. At the same time, reading of murderers reaching out to assist in rebuilding their victims lives, local justice that seeks to restore and not retribution, and victims seeking to point those that did so much evil to Christ is earth shaking in its own right.
Larson identifies eight steps that genocidal groups take to strip their victims of their humanity. By telling seven stories of reconciliation, forgiveness, she contrasts man's kingdom versus God's. The final step of genocide is denial. With powerful stories of reconciliation, she tells stories of truth that re-humanize victim and perpetrator alike.
As We Forgive needs to read as a testament to a group of people who are changed by otherworldly power, in the hope that the same power that saved them from an ongoing spiral of evil will do wonders around the world.
The 1994 Rwandan genocide, where Hutu attacked and murdered over 800,000 Tutsi's is hard to fathom in its brutality and suddenness. Larson, on staff with Prison Fellowship Ministries, writes of a defined process that leads to genocide and in reverse, of a process that leads forgiveness.
She has focused on seven specific individuals, in three chapter segments, to tell an arc of a story from before, during, and after the genocide. The three chapter segments are broken up by seven interlude chapters that reflect on what the real applications of forgiveness, comfort, and what repairing broken relationships looks like.
By telling personal stories in an engaging writing style, Larson does a fine job of taking the reader from the abstract to the very real and personal. She only introduces the political issues that motivated the genocide, and steps out of the way to tell of very human stories of brutality and in return peace and reconciliation.
The writing is never explicit when stories of the genocidal acts are told, but they are hard to read, especially when old neighbors and friends turn on each other. There are times after reading an especially difficult passage, I had to put aside the book for a day or so, because of the sheer horror involved. At the same time, reading of murderers reaching out to assist in rebuilding their victims lives, local justice that seeks to restore and not retribution, and victims seeking to point those that did so much evil to Christ is earth shaking in its own right.
Larson identifies eight steps that genocidal groups take to strip their victims of their humanity. By telling seven stories of reconciliation, forgiveness, she contrasts man's kingdom versus God's. The final step of genocide is denial. With powerful stories of reconciliation, she tells stories of truth that re-humanize victim and perpetrator alike.
As We Forgive needs to read as a testament to a group of people who are changed by otherworldly power, in the hope that the same power that saved them from an ongoing spiral of evil will do wonders around the world.
December 15, 2012
I'm biased as I have know the author but that doesn't mean I don't know great writing and the scent of Jesus all over this book and story! We need to remember and hear the stories of those who walk together in finding and giving forgiveness. These are the stories that make the gospel shine. Only Jesus can make sense of the slaughter and pain while orchestrating the opportunity for an entire people to find healing and grace. Don't forget this place, these people or this story and pray that you find the message of forgiveness and the gospel the source of your own healing! Thanks Catherine
January 29, 2024
This was a sad read. Interesting to read about a genocide I had never heard of before, but so sad to read over and over of the hard things they went through. It was somewhat positive with the stories of reconciliation, but I found myself wishing it was done, with each chapter telling a new person's story, and I knew it was going to be so sad. Not that I didn't need to hear it, or that it wasn't a good read...
April 10, 2012
As We Forgive by Catherine Claire Larson is one of those life-changing books that will linger with you the rest of your life. It's not for the fainthearted. It's not for the hard-hearted or those bent toward stubborn unforgiveness. It's primarily a story of hope.
During 100 days of 1994 800,000 people were brutally murdered in Rwanda--a genocide swifter in execution than Nazi gas chambers. Imagine Denver and Colorado Springs--every man, woman and child--suddenly gone from our population and you'll appreciate the scope of the horror. (And go look on a map of Africa. Trace your finger due South of Uganda, due West of the Congo and you'll appreciate how little this country is.)
As We Forgive shares the stories of genocide survivors, recounting the unspeakable. But it does not stop there. Larson pulls back the curtain of the most ostentatious acts of forgiveness I've witnessed, where genocide survivors choose to forgive those who perpetrated such violence.
Together, through reconciliation practices and restorative justice, they are rebuilding their country from the ruins of hatred--all on the back of the One who still bears the scars for our sins today.
I came away from this book changed, deeply moved, and inspired. Having seen the power of God to help people forgive the seeming unforgiveable, it gave me hope that my own wrestling with forgiveness would end in hope. I also appreciated that none of the forgiveness modeled was simple or easy or quickly won, nor does the book purport that reconciliation is merely forgiveness while forgetting. For true restoration to occur, the person perpetrating the atrocity must first fully own his/her own sin and grieve it as such. And for the person who was sinned against to heal, he/she must revisit the place of grief in order to heal.
All this dovetails beautifully into the message God's been birthing in me--to help people who suffer silently to tell the truth about their pasts, to choose the difficult path of forgiveness, in order to heal.
If God can reach into a genocide victim's heart and offer peace; if He can transform a murderer into a productive member of a reconciled society; then surely He can transform your pain today. That's the patent hope this book gives. It's a gift to all of us. And I pray it's a gift all open.
During 100 days of 1994 800,000 people were brutally murdered in Rwanda--a genocide swifter in execution than Nazi gas chambers. Imagine Denver and Colorado Springs--every man, woman and child--suddenly gone from our population and you'll appreciate the scope of the horror. (And go look on a map of Africa. Trace your finger due South of Uganda, due West of the Congo and you'll appreciate how little this country is.)
As We Forgive shares the stories of genocide survivors, recounting the unspeakable. But it does not stop there. Larson pulls back the curtain of the most ostentatious acts of forgiveness I've witnessed, where genocide survivors choose to forgive those who perpetrated such violence.
Together, through reconciliation practices and restorative justice, they are rebuilding their country from the ruins of hatred--all on the back of the One who still bears the scars for our sins today.
I came away from this book changed, deeply moved, and inspired. Having seen the power of God to help people forgive the seeming unforgiveable, it gave me hope that my own wrestling with forgiveness would end in hope. I also appreciated that none of the forgiveness modeled was simple or easy or quickly won, nor does the book purport that reconciliation is merely forgiveness while forgetting. For true restoration to occur, the person perpetrating the atrocity must first fully own his/her own sin and grieve it as such. And for the person who was sinned against to heal, he/she must revisit the place of grief in order to heal.
All this dovetails beautifully into the message God's been birthing in me--to help people who suffer silently to tell the truth about their pasts, to choose the difficult path of forgiveness, in order to heal.
If God can reach into a genocide victim's heart and offer peace; if He can transform a murderer into a productive member of a reconciled society; then surely He can transform your pain today. That's the patent hope this book gives. It's a gift to all of us. And I pray it's a gift all open.
September 24, 2012
This book helped validate why I have had such an interest, for more than four years now, in Rwanda and the 1994 genocide: “With the gift of listening comes the gift of healing, because listening to your brothers or sisters until they have said the last words in their hearts is healing and consoling. Someone has said that is is possible 'to listen a person's soul into existence.' I like that.” --Catherine de Hueck Doherty / “listening is the greatest form of loving. ...In a place where everyone has a story of horror to tell, people become so accustomed to it that few stop to ask or listen to the pain of someone else.” For me, reading about Africa is a way to listen--and listening matters. This book tells powerful stories not just of the horrors, but of the beauty that God has wrought from the tragedy in Rwanda.
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February 27, 2013This book will invite you to pray. -out of thankfulness, out of horror, out of fear, out of humility that comes from an honest look at those who show mercy in the face of brutal devastation. This is not for the faint of heart. But is for those who want to trust God to forgive them and want to forgive others. Amazing.
June 25, 2017
These are stories about the depth of the human spirit and its capacity to endure unbearable loss, to inflict unimaginable cruelty, and how two deeply divided groups of people can repent, forgive and reconcile for the good of themselves and their country. It seems like it would be impossible. These stories tell how it happened, and is still occurring. Amazing
November 9, 2018
Overly evangelical and lacking in any information beyond some pretty gruesome anecdotes. The subject matter is fascinating, and I feel like so much more could have been done with it. I would have like to see more perspective about the consequences of forgiveness on a societal level, and how can a society facilitate reconciliation.
June 1, 2021
Not sure how to rate this one, so 3 stars, rounded up from 2-1/2. I've read a number of books on the Rwanda genocide, and this one didn't quite live up to the others for me. Something about the way the stories were told seemed a little disconnected, and while I totally agree on the necessity of forgiveness in order to let things go and move forward yourself, the emphasis on the religious aspect of it was a little too much for me. The chronology of events at the front of the book was very detailed and helpful to those who don't know all that happened, but after that I thought the way some of the horrid details were placed suddenly in the stories wasn't the best way to learn about them. Just my own opinion. If this is the only book someone will read about the genocide to try to understand it, its certainly not the worst they can do.
February 19, 2025
This book was so heart wrenching and so beautiful. It was extremely sad, it was full of hope. My mind is blown away with the strength and resilience of each of the victims, and the power and the active suffering of forgiveness. And also the healing it can bring. It opened my eyes to the true horror and evil that exists in our world, but also the hope that forgiveness, kindness, and a listening ear can bring. This is an intense read, but it's also incredibly important.
"When God raised this man, Jesus Christ, from the dead, he didn't take away his scars. These scars testify to his pain, to his love, and to the extent to which God will go to conquer the evil of the world through the active suffering of forgiveness. Only through such active love can such scars of horror be transfigured into emblems of triumph." -from the book.
"When God raised this man, Jesus Christ, from the dead, he didn't take away his scars. These scars testify to his pain, to his love, and to the extent to which God will go to conquer the evil of the world through the active suffering of forgiveness. Only through such active love can such scars of horror be transfigured into emblems of triumph." -from the book.
April 10, 2024
Holy cow! What a book! It is disturbing and enthralling and inspiring all at the same time. It made me think a lot about how I view forgiveness.
I heard about this documentary almost a decade ago and have been looking for it ever since. When I found this book in a used bookstore, I bought it without a second thought. In the acknowledgment of the book, the author says her inspiration for writing the book came from viewing the documentary. So I would still like to see that, but this book might be more powerful as there are the stories, but then there are also interstitials from the author about what lessons she has learned about forgiveness.
The book is bot like a cohesive narrative, but should be a must read for everyone.
I heard about this documentary almost a decade ago and have been looking for it ever since. When I found this book in a used bookstore, I bought it without a second thought. In the acknowledgment of the book, the author says her inspiration for writing the book came from viewing the documentary. So I would still like to see that, but this book might be more powerful as there are the stories, but then there are also interstitials from the author about what lessons she has learned about forgiveness.
The book is bot like a cohesive narrative, but should be a must read for everyone.
June 7, 2018
Wow. One of the best books I have ever read. At times, I had to shut this book, close my eyes, and take a deep breath. The stories of the horrific, catastrophic events that the people of Rwanda went through cut through to the heart. Yet, there is an amazing beauty inside of the pages because forgiveness and reconciliation has started. These stories are present day examples of Christ’s forgiveness for us on a smaller, but still extraordinary, scale. I am so glad I was able to read this book. All I can say, is thank you Catherine Claire Larson for writing this book, and thank you, Jesus Christ, for going to the cross in order that we might be forgiven of our sins.
August 16, 2019
If you are having trouble forgiving someone who hurt you deeply and find yourself stuck in the injustice of it please read this book. It will give you honesty mixed with comfort to help you remember that you are not alone and a painful reminder that others have gone before you who have forgiven to great depths. May their stories inspire you to be brave and forgive.
July 4, 2017
A compassionate but honest account of the lives of the survivors of genocide. Truly inspiring. Well written and although the stories are hard to read at times, the triumph of forgiveness over hate makes this a must read.
July 11, 2017
Heartbreaking, difficult to read, yet far more important than all those fun books. I recommend that anybody who is depressed should avoid it, even though it is more worthy of being read than 90% of the books out there.
July 29, 2017
I found this not only very informative about the Rwanda genocide but inspiring as well. I listened to it and enjoyed audible's recording. would love to refer back to it for my own personal forgiveness journeys. may need to purchase the book as well.
September 9, 2018
Deeply moving book although painful to read. Wonderful insight into the process of healing and reconciliation.
October 25, 2018
Amazing stories of healing from genocide...amazing.
March 9, 2019
Great book. We all need to learn the power that forgiveness can have to transform our own lives and our communities and society as a whole.
July 10, 2022
Life-changing. A perfect example of the power and efficacy of transformative justice trumping punishment.
July 1, 2025
The psychology stuff mentioned in the book is probably helpful to everyone. The religious stuff is helpful to some. I will read a few more books related to this topic.
June 1, 2019
Highly recommended! A book based off of a movie (yup), and so far the best book I've read on the Rwandan genocide. It delves into life after the event(s), how murderers and survivors learn to live side by side, and forgive; each story is separated by a short thoughtful section on forgiveness with questions.
April 12, 2009
This book tells seven personal stories of experiences during the genocide, its aftermath, and how they came to forgiveness. These accounts are intense, vivid, and powerful. The people in these stories came from different areas and had different experiences, giving the reader a good idea of what happened during the genocide and afterward. The book is worth reading for these stories alone.
The narratives effectively show the struggle of how to forgive and gain peace. However, after each story, the author also comments on various methods of forgiveness and reconciliation and on restorative justice. To me, those comments felt distant and clinical in contrast to the intensely intimate view of pain and forgiveness given in the narrative. Except for one chart/argument given by the author in the first section (which I felt tried to make a complex subject too simplistic and neat), the information she gives is useful and relevant. This information is geared toward anyone, no matter their religion (or lack of one).
Though the author doesn't focus on Christian principles of forgiveness, the Rwandans described in these accounts are Christians or become Christians and this is what allows them to forgive.
The violence described during the genocide is not explicit or gory in detail, though it is still heart-rending at times. I'd recommend this powerful book to anyone struggling with forgiveness or who wants to know more about the Rwandan genocide and what's happening there now.
The narratives effectively show the struggle of how to forgive and gain peace. However, after each story, the author also comments on various methods of forgiveness and reconciliation and on restorative justice. To me, those comments felt distant and clinical in contrast to the intensely intimate view of pain and forgiveness given in the narrative. Except for one chart/argument given by the author in the first section (which I felt tried to make a complex subject too simplistic and neat), the information she gives is useful and relevant. This information is geared toward anyone, no matter their religion (or lack of one).
Though the author doesn't focus on Christian principles of forgiveness, the Rwandans described in these accounts are Christians or become Christians and this is what allows them to forgive.
The violence described during the genocide is not explicit or gory in detail, though it is still heart-rending at times. I'd recommend this powerful book to anyone struggling with forgiveness or who wants to know more about the Rwandan genocide and what's happening there now.
October 19, 2010
I'd wanted to read this book ever since I saw a review of it in World magazine last year. A few years back, I was reading Lee Camp's 'Mere Discipleship' for a Bible study. In one chapter, Lee points out that Rwanda was one of the most "Christian" nations in Africa and could have been used as an example of the success of Christian missions...before the genocide. He asks the question, how could people in the one of the most Christian societies in Africa turn on and kill hundreds and thousands of their neighbors...and even priests and pastors betray to death people who sought refuge in churches? Painful questions, and not easily answered. So it grabbed my attention when I saw the description of a book about the people of Rwanda learning to forgive and live together after the genocide.
'As We Forgive' is a painful read. It look unflinchingly in the face of death, violence, rape, and shame, but without sensationalizing them. Forgiveness here is not cheap or easy. It doesn't mean pretending the harm never happened or that it didn't have horrible consequences. It doesn't mean that the crime was excusable. 'As We Forgive' is also a beautiful read, because in its stories the gospel of Christ shines as the answer to evil...and also the only thing that can make forgiveness possible.
'As We Forgive' is a painful read. It look unflinchingly in the face of death, violence, rape, and shame, but without sensationalizing them. Forgiveness here is not cheap or easy. It doesn't mean pretending the harm never happened or that it didn't have horrible consequences. It doesn't mean that the crime was excusable. 'As We Forgive' is also a beautiful read, because in its stories the gospel of Christ shines as the answer to evil...and also the only thing that can make forgiveness possible.
October 1, 2012
I had just finished the mammoth task of wading through Dallaire's book (Shake Hands with the Devil) when I started on this. Where Dallaire's book often felt like it would get a little bogged down in the overwhelming myriad of daily decisions (and their subsequent ramifications), I found the simpler narrative style much easier to bore into!
I have been to Rwanda: I have spoken with amazing Rwandese men and women, and have been moved to tears first-hand by their stories. This work captures a glimpse of that very real world that many still live with 18 years after the fact. And that is why books such as these are so important. As it was written, "... everyone had a tragedy to tell, and because of this, often people did not ask, nor did they listen. Because of this reticence, many carried their stories of pain silently and alone."
This work does an admirable job of giving voice to some of those who would otherwise have never been heard.
I have been to Rwanda: I have spoken with amazing Rwandese men and women, and have been moved to tears first-hand by their stories. This work captures a glimpse of that very real world that many still live with 18 years after the fact. And that is why books such as these are so important. As it was written, "... everyone had a tragedy to tell, and because of this, often people did not ask, nor did they listen. Because of this reticence, many carried their stories of pain silently and alone."
This work does an admirable job of giving voice to some of those who would otherwise have never been heard.
March 9, 2010
I've read other books on the Rwanda and found this one particularly difficult to get through for some reason. The personal stories of tragedy were heart-wrenching, but they were all also stories of eventual forgiveness. Interspersed between these stories were brief chapters on the subject of forgiveness. Reading what happened to these people makes you see that any of them being able to offer forgiveness to the perpetrators of such evil can only be a miracle of God. The author offers guidance on how to forgive in our own lives, although any offenses against me pale into nothingness compared to what these Rwandans have endured.
January 7, 2012
Read on recommendation of Mary Scott F. - Written by a friend of hers. Hard to read without crying as the tales of real life atrocities are told without being over-dramatized, but simply as they happened - devastating turns in the lives of real people. Examples of forgiveness and reconciliation are not over-simplified. Forgiveness is presented as the difficult process that it is. Excellent and heart-breaking and God-glorifying story-telling.
August 3, 2013
"In this way we differ from all animals. It is not our capacity to think that makes us different, but our capacity to repent and to forgive. Only humans can perform that most unnatural act and by doing so only they can develop relationships that transcend the relentless laws of nature" (Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn). As We Forgive is an astonishing, painful, heartening book. If you choose to read it, be prepared for tears--of both agony and joy--to flow.
August 15, 2014
- great information through the stories of individuals in Rwanda
- has sections of reflection on forgiveness which I found to be very thought provoking
- the stories sometimes feel rushed and the writing is decent but loses its appeal after a few stories
- I was hoping for less anecdotal evidence and some more objective info on forgiveness
- sometimes feels too much like evangelism, when I would hope for a more neutral view
- has sections of reflection on forgiveness which I found to be very thought provoking
- the stories sometimes feel rushed and the writing is decent but loses its appeal after a few stories
- I was hoping for less anecdotal evidence and some more objective info on forgiveness
- sometimes feels too much like evangelism, when I would hope for a more neutral view
November 17, 2009
Powerful and moving. How would you respond to someone asking for forgiveness if they murdered members of your family? Some of the stories were simply jaw-dropping. These accounts of forgiveness after the genocide/attrocities in Rwanda will help anyone to gain perspective and a better understanding of the Gospel and God's call to forgive others.
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