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Do-Over! In Which a Forty-Eight-Year-Old Father of Three Returns to Kindergarten, Summer Camp, the Prom, and Other Embarrassments by Robin Hemley
Do-Over! In Which a Forty-Eight-Year-Old Father of Three Returns to Kindergarten, Summer Camp, the Prom, and Other Embarrassments by Robin Hemley (2009-05-11) [Hardcover] [Jan 01, 1656] Robin Hemley … B01A64ZYRS
Hardcover
First published April 22, 2009
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308 people want to read
About the author
Robin Hemley
35 books34 followersRobin Hemley has published seven books of nonfiction and fiction. His latest book, Invented Eden, The Elusive, Disputed History of the Tasaday deals with a purported anthropological hoax in the Philippines. James Hamilton Paterson, writing in the London Review of Books, call Invented Eden, "brave and wholly convincing." John Leonard writes in Harpers, "Besides a terrific story, Invented Eden is a savvy caution." Invented Eden was an American Library Association's Editor's Choice book for 2003.
Robin Hemley co-edited the anthology Extreme Fiction:Fabulists and formalists with Michael Martone, and is the author of the memoir, Nola: A Memoir Of Faith, Art And Madness, which won an Independent Press Book Award for Nonfiction. His popular craft book Turning Life Into Fiction, which was a Book-of-the-Month Club selection as well as a Quality Paperback Book Club Selection has sold over 40,000 copies and will soon be reissued by Graywolf Press. He is also the author of the novel, The Last Studebaker and the story collections, The Big Ear and All You Can Eat.
His awards for his fiction include, The Nelson Algren Award from The Chicago Tribune, The George Garrett Award for Fiction from Willow Springs, the Hugh J. Luke Award from Prairie Schooner, two Pushcart Prizes, and many others. He has published his work in many of the best literary magazines in the country, including Ploughshares, Prairie Schooner, Shenandoah, Willow Springs, Boulevard, Witness, ACM, North American Review, and many others. His fiction has been widely anthologized, translated, and heard on NPR's "Selected Shorts" and others. He is a graduate of the Iowa Writers Workshop and has taught at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte, Western Washington Univeristy, St. Lawrence University, Vermont College, and the University of Utah, and in many Summer writing conferences. He was also the Editor-in-Chief of the Bellingham Review for five years.
Robin Hemley co-edited the anthology Extreme Fiction:Fabulists and formalists with Michael Martone, and is the author of the memoir, Nola: A Memoir Of Faith, Art And Madness, which won an Independent Press Book Award for Nonfiction. His popular craft book Turning Life Into Fiction, which was a Book-of-the-Month Club selection as well as a Quality Paperback Book Club Selection has sold over 40,000 copies and will soon be reissued by Graywolf Press. He is also the author of the novel, The Last Studebaker and the story collections, The Big Ear and All You Can Eat.
His awards for his fiction include, The Nelson Algren Award from The Chicago Tribune, The George Garrett Award for Fiction from Willow Springs, the Hugh J. Luke Award from Prairie Schooner, two Pushcart Prizes, and many others. He has published his work in many of the best literary magazines in the country, including Ploughshares, Prairie Schooner, Shenandoah, Willow Springs, Boulevard, Witness, ACM, North American Review, and many others. His fiction has been widely anthologized, translated, and heard on NPR's "Selected Shorts" and others. He is a graduate of the Iowa Writers Workshop and has taught at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte, Western Washington Univeristy, St. Lawrence University, Vermont College, and the University of Utah, and in many Summer writing conferences. He was also the Editor-in-Chief of the Bellingham Review for five years.
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November 12, 2009
I thought the idea of this book (as aptly paraphrased by the title)was extremely interesting. Who doesn't have things they would like to go back and..re-experience, if not actually change? Getting into it, though, I found its application to be a lot more creepy than interesting. You want to let a random grown man sit next to my kindergartener, just to "experience" it? (and as a side-thought, if you WERE re-doing kindergarten, do you do it as yourself "I'm going to circle all the things that start with R faster than any of you! Ha ha!" or do you try to do it as you think a kindergartener would?) Most of his little experiences just came across as disturbing. In fairness, if anyone deserves to re-do kindergarten, he does. He does manage to make it funny in retelling it, though.
He seems completely unaware how bizarre some of his assumptions are-- in the chapter where he wants to go back and re-claim himself a childhood home,one of his friends tells him that he wouldn't let a stranger stay in his house, to which the author replies, "Until he said this, it hadn't occurred that anyone might have an objection." Seriously? Someone calls you up, says, "Hey, I lived here once. Any problem with me just staying here a week or so...no real agenda, just a general desire to hang out in your house..." and you see no problem there? As a mother of young children, and a woman who does not want to end up raped and murdered, I'm going to go ahead and say no, regardless of how warm-and-fuzzy your memories of my house 30 years ago were.
He also goes into a lot of detail about how he wanted to grow up to be an actor, but was dissuaded by family members (in favor of the much more respectable teaching/writing profession...) and how his two teen daughters want to be an opera singer and a broadway performer, respectively, and going on and on about how he supports them in these career goals. I wanted to be an astronaut when I was in 4th grade, but realized on my own that this was not a legitimate career choice. (Okay, given enough hard work, luck, and determination, but I was not that serious about it...) Like that makes him some kind of better person than his family, because he would allow his children to make ridiculous career choices. Even in the course of writing this book, they each change their minds a couple of times, and HE is the one hanging onto their more fanciful ambitious.
He could have used a better editor--we get a lot of random lists, including the career ambitions of his entire kindergarten class (he unnecessarily points out that he didn't actually remember that one on his own--he had a booklet the class made) without even the benefit of telling us what they DID become to make it interesting.
The thought that kept coming to me as I read this book was that he was going about it all wrong. You don't re-do making a mistake in your first play by waiting 40 years and then reprising your role-- you try out for another play the next year, and try to learn from the previous mistake. You don't fix not having had a stable childhood home by camping out in the guest bedroom of a house you lived in during your childhood-- you try to make the home where you raise YOUR children as stable as possible. And if my husband thinks he gets to "make up" for having missed his prom by taking the girl he would have liked to take then to a dance 30 years later, he has another thing coming!
The entire premise of this book (shaky though it is,) is that children get to take another try at any game by claiming a "do-over"; what the author forgets is the corollary-- the right of the other players to yell back, "Doesn't count!"
He seems completely unaware how bizarre some of his assumptions are-- in the chapter where he wants to go back and re-claim himself a childhood home,one of his friends tells him that he wouldn't let a stranger stay in his house, to which the author replies, "Until he said this, it hadn't occurred that anyone might have an objection." Seriously? Someone calls you up, says, "Hey, I lived here once. Any problem with me just staying here a week or so...no real agenda, just a general desire to hang out in your house..." and you see no problem there? As a mother of young children, and a woman who does not want to end up raped and murdered, I'm going to go ahead and say no, regardless of how warm-and-fuzzy your memories of my house 30 years ago were.
He also goes into a lot of detail about how he wanted to grow up to be an actor, but was dissuaded by family members (in favor of the much more respectable teaching/writing profession...) and how his two teen daughters want to be an opera singer and a broadway performer, respectively, and going on and on about how he supports them in these career goals. I wanted to be an astronaut when I was in 4th grade, but realized on my own that this was not a legitimate career choice. (Okay, given enough hard work, luck, and determination, but I was not that serious about it...) Like that makes him some kind of better person than his family, because he would allow his children to make ridiculous career choices. Even in the course of writing this book, they each change their minds a couple of times, and HE is the one hanging onto their more fanciful ambitious.
He could have used a better editor--we get a lot of random lists, including the career ambitions of his entire kindergarten class (he unnecessarily points out that he didn't actually remember that one on his own--he had a booklet the class made) without even the benefit of telling us what they DID become to make it interesting.
The thought that kept coming to me as I read this book was that he was going about it all wrong. You don't re-do making a mistake in your first play by waiting 40 years and then reprising your role-- you try out for another play the next year, and try to learn from the previous mistake. You don't fix not having had a stable childhood home by camping out in the guest bedroom of a house you lived in during your childhood-- you try to make the home where you raise YOUR children as stable as possible. And if my husband thinks he gets to "make up" for having missed his prom by taking the girl he would have liked to take then to a dance 30 years later, he has another thing coming!
The entire premise of this book (shaky though it is,) is that children get to take another try at any game by claiming a "do-over"; what the author forgets is the corollary-- the right of the other players to yell back, "Doesn't count!"
June 8, 2009
Book Overview
The subtitle of this book pretty much says it all: "In Which a 48-Year-Old Father of Three Returns to Kindergarten, Summer Camp, the Prom and Other Embarrassments." The book chronicles the author's "do-overs" in ten different areas:
* Kindergarten -- Scarred by a teacher who seems less than qualified to be teaching young children, the author returns to try this all important first year of school over.
* School Play -- Haunted by a flubbed line, the author goes back and tries to get it right this time around.
* Summer Camp -- A miserable but frequent camper, the author returns to try and be the "star" instead of the dud.
* Sixth Grade -- Bullied and miserable, the author wishes to give this grade another go.
* Joining A Fraternity -- Admitted as an "honorary "member at age 13, the author seeks a chance to become a full-fledged member of Sigma Alpha Mu.
* Eighth Grade -- A miserable outsider then, he seeks to be cooler this time around.
* The Prom -- Too scared to ask his crush to the dance, the author seeks to return and have the dance he never got at the time.
* Standardized Tests -- He missed the SAT and the ACT the first time around and was poorly categorized in another so he wants to go back and beat the tests.
* Childhood Home -- Because of frequent moves, the author wants to revisit one of his childhood homes to examine his notion of home and family.
* Exchange Student in Japan -- After leaving the exchange program early due to homesickness and culture shock, the author wants to go back and revisit the country that caused him so much misery.
Each chapter of the book chronicles the author's do-over attempts in these ten areas. For each do-over, Mr. Hemley writes about setting up each do-over, chronicles his struggles fitting in his current family life around this "experiment," reminisces about what it was like the first time around, and shares the lessons he gains from each do-over. There is also an introduction and an epilogue.
My Thoughts
I thought this was a clever way to write a memoir -- to revisit the moments of "failure" in life and get a chance to redo them. But really, the author is not redoing each event so much as making peace the past. As you go along, you learn quite a bit about the author's family life (both past and present) and how he became the person he is today. The book is written in a lighthearted tone but there is a real undercurrent of regret and sorrow that cannot be hidden. In his current life, he is remarried with a young daughter but he is constantly struggling to maintain a relationship with the daughters from his first marriage. Many of the do-overs seem like attempts to find a sense of connection with his older daughters as they navigate some of the very waters that the author found so difficult.
The book is a very easy read and is often quite funny. The author has an endearing sense of self-depreciation that make it easy to relate and commiserate with him. Yet, as I said, he has some real pain in his life that he needed to revisit via these do-overs. I admire his honesty in sharing his family life and his fears -- as well as his own failings and faults as a human being. More than anything, you relate to the author's humanity. After all, we've all had moments of regret. Throughout the book, the author tells of how supportive and understanding people are of his do-over experiment -- how they all wish they could do the same. The book practically begs you to think about the own areas of your life that you would want to revisit and redo. For me, areas I'd like to "do-over" include:
* Second Grade: This was the year I was "passed" in math despite not really understanding the basic concepts of addition and subtraction. This failure to understand the basics led to a life-long struggle and fear of math. My mother moved me out of the school I was in after this year in an effort to correct the problem, but the damage was already done.
* Graduation Dance In High School: I'm pretty sure that the boy I had a huge crush on kind of liked me and I flubbed it -- big-time. He went out of his way to ask me to dance on this night, and I -- being a total loser -- was unable to accept that perhaps he liked me. I wish I could go back and redo this and perhaps accept that a boy that cute could actually be interested in me.
* Junior Year of College: This was the year I was supposed to go on an exchange program to France with a friend. I bailed on her at the last moment, and I've always regretted this decision. She ended up having a very difficult year, and I always blamed myself for that. Also, I regret that I never had the opportunity to study and travel overseas. Truly a missed opportunity.
* First Year of Motherhood: I wish I had let my son learn to fall asleep on his own during his first year of life!!! It is a mistake I'm still paying for, and I wish I'd had the guts to let him learn this important skill -- even if it meant listening to him cry. Also, I wish I'd relaxed more during this time instead of being so anxious about keeping him alive.
My Final Recommendation
This was a unique and clever way to write a memoir. The "gimmick" of doing over sections of life that didn't go so well the first time makes for an interesting read. The author's humorous and self-deprecating tone make him very relatable, yet underneath the humor and the "do-over" conceit is a touching and somewhat sorrowful look at how regrets in life can affect your future and how revisiting these painful moments can often lead to healing and a better understanding of yourself. I think the book is definitely worth a read!
The subtitle of this book pretty much says it all: "In Which a 48-Year-Old Father of Three Returns to Kindergarten, Summer Camp, the Prom and Other Embarrassments." The book chronicles the author's "do-overs" in ten different areas:
* Kindergarten -- Scarred by a teacher who seems less than qualified to be teaching young children, the author returns to try this all important first year of school over.
* School Play -- Haunted by a flubbed line, the author goes back and tries to get it right this time around.
* Summer Camp -- A miserable but frequent camper, the author returns to try and be the "star" instead of the dud.
* Sixth Grade -- Bullied and miserable, the author wishes to give this grade another go.
* Joining A Fraternity -- Admitted as an "honorary "member at age 13, the author seeks a chance to become a full-fledged member of Sigma Alpha Mu.
* Eighth Grade -- A miserable outsider then, he seeks to be cooler this time around.
* The Prom -- Too scared to ask his crush to the dance, the author seeks to return and have the dance he never got at the time.
* Standardized Tests -- He missed the SAT and the ACT the first time around and was poorly categorized in another so he wants to go back and beat the tests.
* Childhood Home -- Because of frequent moves, the author wants to revisit one of his childhood homes to examine his notion of home and family.
* Exchange Student in Japan -- After leaving the exchange program early due to homesickness and culture shock, the author wants to go back and revisit the country that caused him so much misery.
Each chapter of the book chronicles the author's do-over attempts in these ten areas. For each do-over, Mr. Hemley writes about setting up each do-over, chronicles his struggles fitting in his current family life around this "experiment," reminisces about what it was like the first time around, and shares the lessons he gains from each do-over. There is also an introduction and an epilogue.
My Thoughts
I thought this was a clever way to write a memoir -- to revisit the moments of "failure" in life and get a chance to redo them. But really, the author is not redoing each event so much as making peace the past. As you go along, you learn quite a bit about the author's family life (both past and present) and how he became the person he is today. The book is written in a lighthearted tone but there is a real undercurrent of regret and sorrow that cannot be hidden. In his current life, he is remarried with a young daughter but he is constantly struggling to maintain a relationship with the daughters from his first marriage. Many of the do-overs seem like attempts to find a sense of connection with his older daughters as they navigate some of the very waters that the author found so difficult.
The book is a very easy read and is often quite funny. The author has an endearing sense of self-depreciation that make it easy to relate and commiserate with him. Yet, as I said, he has some real pain in his life that he needed to revisit via these do-overs. I admire his honesty in sharing his family life and his fears -- as well as his own failings and faults as a human being. More than anything, you relate to the author's humanity. After all, we've all had moments of regret. Throughout the book, the author tells of how supportive and understanding people are of his do-over experiment -- how they all wish they could do the same. The book practically begs you to think about the own areas of your life that you would want to revisit and redo. For me, areas I'd like to "do-over" include:
* Second Grade: This was the year I was "passed" in math despite not really understanding the basic concepts of addition and subtraction. This failure to understand the basics led to a life-long struggle and fear of math. My mother moved me out of the school I was in after this year in an effort to correct the problem, but the damage was already done.
* Graduation Dance In High School: I'm pretty sure that the boy I had a huge crush on kind of liked me and I flubbed it -- big-time. He went out of his way to ask me to dance on this night, and I -- being a total loser -- was unable to accept that perhaps he liked me. I wish I could go back and redo this and perhaps accept that a boy that cute could actually be interested in me.
* Junior Year of College: This was the year I was supposed to go on an exchange program to France with a friend. I bailed on her at the last moment, and I've always regretted this decision. She ended up having a very difficult year, and I always blamed myself for that. Also, I regret that I never had the opportunity to study and travel overseas. Truly a missed opportunity.
* First Year of Motherhood: I wish I had let my son learn to fall asleep on his own during his first year of life!!! It is a mistake I'm still paying for, and I wish I'd had the guts to let him learn this important skill -- even if it meant listening to him cry. Also, I wish I'd relaxed more during this time instead of being so anxious about keeping him alive.
My Final Recommendation
This was a unique and clever way to write a memoir. The "gimmick" of doing over sections of life that didn't go so well the first time makes for an interesting read. The author's humorous and self-deprecating tone make him very relatable, yet underneath the humor and the "do-over" conceit is a touching and somewhat sorrowful look at how regrets in life can affect your future and how revisiting these painful moments can often lead to healing and a better understanding of yourself. I think the book is definitely worth a read!
August 7, 2009
Remember when Mrs. Brown passed out Valentines from the huge Valentine's Day box to all other 3rd graders except you? Or the time when you were to recite a poem from memory to the parents on Back to School night and forgot the words? What if you were to re-do these flubs in your formative years and get them right this time? This is exactly what Robin Hemley did in his new immersion memoir Do Over.
The 48 year old Hemley embarked on his Do Over adventures because "sometimes you need to reevaluate what you think you've left behind forever as a way to find out who you are now . . . ." In short, Hemley was hoping to gain a new way to view some of his past failures. He also wanted to better connect with his daughters from a previous marriage who were or would be navigating thru some of the same rites of passage that he was attempting to re do.
There are apparently rules in attempting Do Overs such as not going back to revisit a failed marriage. In the end, Hemley set out to Do Over: (1) Kindergarten; (2) the School Play The Littlest Angel; (3) Summer Camp; Sixth Grade; (5) Joining a Fraternity; (6) Eighth Grade; (7) The Prom; (8) Standardized Tests; (9) his Childhood Home and (10) being an Exchange Student in Japan. While the results of his abbreviated recreations were sometimes mixed, they were always highly entertaining. Often while reading about Hemley's adventures I was laughing out loud. For example, the following exchange cracked me up:
"Do you ride the bus?" Louis asks.
"No."
"Oh. Well, who's picking you up?" Halely asks.
"My wife" I say.
There's a long moment of silence as they take that in and blink at me like cats.
"Oh" say Stefan finally. "I thought you were going to say your dad."
Surprisingly, apart from a few naysayers, most everyone (kids and adults) is supportive of Hemley's quest. As Hemley puts it during his 6th grade escapade: "I know I'm not really a sixth grader, and my classmates know this too. But we forget sometimes, and its good to forget. Sometimes I'm an observer. Sometimes I'm a participant. Sometimes I'm an oddity. But most of the time, I seem to fit in somehow . . ."
Do Over is a highly entertaining and insightful, memoir. I recommend it for an enjoyable read. Meanwhile, I'm off to create my own list.
The 48 year old Hemley embarked on his Do Over adventures because "sometimes you need to reevaluate what you think you've left behind forever as a way to find out who you are now . . . ." In short, Hemley was hoping to gain a new way to view some of his past failures. He also wanted to better connect with his daughters from a previous marriage who were or would be navigating thru some of the same rites of passage that he was attempting to re do.
There are apparently rules in attempting Do Overs such as not going back to revisit a failed marriage. In the end, Hemley set out to Do Over: (1) Kindergarten; (2) the School Play The Littlest Angel; (3) Summer Camp; Sixth Grade; (5) Joining a Fraternity; (6) Eighth Grade; (7) The Prom; (8) Standardized Tests; (9) his Childhood Home and (10) being an Exchange Student in Japan. While the results of his abbreviated recreations were sometimes mixed, they were always highly entertaining. Often while reading about Hemley's adventures I was laughing out loud. For example, the following exchange cracked me up:
"Do you ride the bus?" Louis asks.
"No."
"Oh. Well, who's picking you up?" Halely asks.
"My wife" I say.
There's a long moment of silence as they take that in and blink at me like cats.
"Oh" say Stefan finally. "I thought you were going to say your dad."
Surprisingly, apart from a few naysayers, most everyone (kids and adults) is supportive of Hemley's quest. As Hemley puts it during his 6th grade escapade: "I know I'm not really a sixth grader, and my classmates know this too. But we forget sometimes, and its good to forget. Sometimes I'm an observer. Sometimes I'm a participant. Sometimes I'm an oddity. But most of the time, I seem to fit in somehow . . ."
Do Over is a highly entertaining and insightful, memoir. I recommend it for an enjoyable read. Meanwhile, I'm off to create my own list.
May 11, 2023
RICK “SHAQ” GOLDSTEIN SAYS: “I’M GOING TO SIT AT THE KID’S TABLE!”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Whenever I go to a family gathering on occasions such as Thanksgiving… Christmas… or the Fourth Of July… and there is an adult table… and a kids table… the kids always yell out… Uncle Rick… Uncle Rick… sit over here. And you know what? That’s where I wanted to sit anyway. If you’re anything like me… then this book is for you. The author, Robin Hemley is a forty-eight-year-old Father of three… and the director of the Nonfiction Writing Program at the University of Iowa. Robin not only wanted to sit at the kids table… but he also wanted to go back to Kindergarten… perform in a school play… go back to summer camp… go back to sixth grade… join a fraternity… go back to eighth grade… go to the high school prom with the girl he didn’t get to go with… take the SAT test… go back to his childhood home (which is inhabited by strangers)… and “do-over” his truncated participation in the Japanese exchange student program.
With a full “do-over” wish list of this magnitude there is a lot of detail to cover… so I’ll hit just a few of the highlights. When “doing-over” Kindergarten Robin marvels at how nice the new teacher is. I guess… based on the fact that Robin’s original kindergarten teacher used to step on his back as a means of punishment… and eventually was put in a mental institution… it’s pretty easy for his new teacher Mrs. Statler to impress him with kindness. The author quickly sees the traits in these Kindergarteners’ that will morph them into specific adult demographics. In the sixth grade redux there are future prom queens and bullies. In both classes the students are curious about how he gets to school. The conversations between the forty-eight-year-old student and the kids definitely define “attention-spans”. “EXCUSE ME, SIR. HAS ANYONE EVER FIGURED OUT HOW TO READ HIEROGLYPHICS? WHY YES, THEY HAVE, I SAY AND TELL HIM BRIEFLY ABOUT THE ROSETTA STONE. THIS INNOCENT BOY IS BRET, A FIFTH GRADER WHO WILL ATTACH HIMSELF TO ME FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK THE WAY STEFAN DID IN KINDERGARTEN AND THE WAY MARCY DID TO PEPPERMINT PATTY IN “PEANUTS”. DOES ANYONE IN AMERICA KNOW HOW? HE ASKS. I BELIEVE THE INFORMATION ON HOW TO DECIPHER HIEROGLYPHICS HAS FILTERED TO AMERICA, I TELL HIM. BY NOW.”… “HE NODS, DO YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY HARMONICA? HE ASKS WITH THE SAME DEGREE OF SERIOUSNESS.”
When Robin is back in his private religious high school… there is a sign on the wall that reads: “AS LONG AS THERE ARE FINAL EXAMS, THERE WILL BE PRAYER IN THE SCHOOLS.” What is just as interesting as the interplay between an adult… that is supposedly on equal footing… with kids… ranging from Kindergarten to high school… is the effort put in… and the obstacles overcome… to allow a forty-eight-year-old man… to be part of these classes and plays in the first place. With all the perversion being divulged in today’s world on a daily basis… the scenario’s themselves… are as unique as the humorous interactions.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Whenever I go to a family gathering on occasions such as Thanksgiving… Christmas… or the Fourth Of July… and there is an adult table… and a kids table… the kids always yell out… Uncle Rick… Uncle Rick… sit over here. And you know what? That’s where I wanted to sit anyway. If you’re anything like me… then this book is for you. The author, Robin Hemley is a forty-eight-year-old Father of three… and the director of the Nonfiction Writing Program at the University of Iowa. Robin not only wanted to sit at the kids table… but he also wanted to go back to Kindergarten… perform in a school play… go back to summer camp… go back to sixth grade… join a fraternity… go back to eighth grade… go to the high school prom with the girl he didn’t get to go with… take the SAT test… go back to his childhood home (which is inhabited by strangers)… and “do-over” his truncated participation in the Japanese exchange student program.
With a full “do-over” wish list of this magnitude there is a lot of detail to cover… so I’ll hit just a few of the highlights. When “doing-over” Kindergarten Robin marvels at how nice the new teacher is. I guess… based on the fact that Robin’s original kindergarten teacher used to step on his back as a means of punishment… and eventually was put in a mental institution… it’s pretty easy for his new teacher Mrs. Statler to impress him with kindness. The author quickly sees the traits in these Kindergarteners’ that will morph them into specific adult demographics. In the sixth grade redux there are future prom queens and bullies. In both classes the students are curious about how he gets to school. The conversations between the forty-eight-year-old student and the kids definitely define “attention-spans”. “EXCUSE ME, SIR. HAS ANYONE EVER FIGURED OUT HOW TO READ HIEROGLYPHICS? WHY YES, THEY HAVE, I SAY AND TELL HIM BRIEFLY ABOUT THE ROSETTA STONE. THIS INNOCENT BOY IS BRET, A FIFTH GRADER WHO WILL ATTACH HIMSELF TO ME FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK THE WAY STEFAN DID IN KINDERGARTEN AND THE WAY MARCY DID TO PEPPERMINT PATTY IN “PEANUTS”. DOES ANYONE IN AMERICA KNOW HOW? HE ASKS. I BELIEVE THE INFORMATION ON HOW TO DECIPHER HIEROGLYPHICS HAS FILTERED TO AMERICA, I TELL HIM. BY NOW.”… “HE NODS, DO YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY HARMONICA? HE ASKS WITH THE SAME DEGREE OF SERIOUSNESS.”
When Robin is back in his private religious high school… there is a sign on the wall that reads: “AS LONG AS THERE ARE FINAL EXAMS, THERE WILL BE PRAYER IN THE SCHOOLS.” What is just as interesting as the interplay between an adult… that is supposedly on equal footing… with kids… ranging from Kindergarten to high school… is the effort put in… and the obstacles overcome… to allow a forty-eight-year-old man… to be part of these classes and plays in the first place. With all the perversion being divulged in today’s world on a daily basis… the scenario’s themselves… are as unique as the humorous interactions.
August 19, 2018
The stories in this book we're indeed entertaining. And I believe that the author really felt like a kindergartner, eighth grader, etc when he was "doing over" these various roles. I also liked how he intertwined his current life with the "do overs?"
That said, the book was somewhat incomplete. I couldn't figure out if the author truly had regrets from the various stages of his life, or if he was simply doing these things for entertainment purposes. It was really hard to tell.
His summation at the end of the book also seemed incomplete. We're there any deep lessons the author learned? How his life indeed changed for the better from these experiences? The summary looked at these experiences a little bit but didn't real delve into them.
That said, the book was somewhat incomplete. I couldn't figure out if the author truly had regrets from the various stages of his life, or if he was simply doing these things for entertainment purposes. It was really hard to tell.
His summation at the end of the book also seemed incomplete. We're there any deep lessons the author learned? How his life indeed changed for the better from these experiences? The summary looked at these experiences a little bit but didn't real delve into them.
September 3, 2018
One I wanted to like. The author had certain standout events that he never quite got over- whether because he could not participate (prom) or he messed up (school play). Interesting to a degree to see him relive the actually experiences by spending a week with the peers going through the event for the first time. However, there just was not enough insight/perspective/growth to keep the interest up. The author chose to organize the book according to the age level of the experiences, not how he did them, and I wonder if that affected the arc of his understanding and putting everything in perspective. So, this was a miss for me.
Read
April 16, 2020The author attempts to "do over" things that went wrong in his life. This is a nonfiction memoir--he does things like attend summer camp as an adult, appear in the play in which he flubbed his lines as a 9 year old, and attend kindergarten (at Horace Mann Elementary right here in Iowa City).
May 6, 2017
An entertaining and thoughtful book about memories and second chances.
March 21, 2020
Pleasant and thoughtful enough.
July 15, 2020
Funny, intriguing and thoughtful, it starts at simply entertaining, and ends with deeper questions about life. Perhaps a little indulgent, but it keeps your attention for sure.
March 26, 2025
Haven't finished this yet, but I'm about halfway through and enjoying it immensely. The author has a very self-deprecating sense of humor that translate well to the written page.
January 16, 2011
Robin Hemley went on a mission to get a second chance at some of the things he messed up, or he thought had been messed up for him, the first time around. It is an interesting idea, to see if you can go back and “fix” those mistakes. But when a 48 year old goes back to kindergarten there are also going to be some laughs. His conversational tone, the fact that he can see the absurd and share it with us, and his whole approach to the project and the people he meets or remeets make it a lot of fun to read. He doesn’t take himself too seriously and doesn’t mind making a joke at his own expense. But it isn’t just a joke either. He does get serious sometimes as he explores his past and tries to see if he can change the way he thinks about the things he finds there and in turn change his outlook about his present. It does end up a learning experience for him, sometimes unexpectedly. It’s interesting to see how he has different memories of an experience than someone else who shared the experience with him; or how people reacted (it was amazing how supportive people were) to his project and the reaction and acceptance of the kids of various ages to his presence; or his reaction as an adult to some of the things that the children were taught, (a classroom repeating in unison “Different is great!” looks different from an adult perspective); and to see how things have changed and how they have stayed the same over the years. It is a very entertaining read that is both funny and thought provoking. I liked how he worked both the serious and the absurd sides, not only into the book, but into the entire project. And Robin Hemley tells a good story. In the end I think that is what made the project come alive and made the journey with Hemley a trip you wanted to go on.
May 22, 2016
When I first saw this book and placed it on my wishlist, I think I was expecting a humorous look at some of the usual rites of childhood - summer camp, prom, etc. But this is not that book. The author, Robin Hemley, takes us down Memory Lane while re-doing some of the more painful and/or spectacular flops of his childhood and adolescence. Some of the re-dos come off as slightly creepy while others seem just as painful. Robin had several misfortunes that affected him deeply - death of his father and the mental illness of his sister. He examines those demons and comes away with a renewed sense of himself and appreciation of his family.
Quotes to remember:
We grow physically, but who we are inside has no fixed age.
An eighth-grade teacher in the public schools is always trying to wrest order from chaos, and for this reason, in junior high perhaps we should employ only martial arts experts and military men and women who can mete out love like K rations.
Our whole lives we struggle with our personal sense of failure. To the outside world, our failures are strangers, but to us, they're our closest intimates, closer than friends, children, spouses, parents; nourished from an early age, they may become so strong that they overcome us.
No matter how old we are, I think adulthood shocks us from time to time all the way to the grave.
Truly, there's no way to quickly or easily measure outcomes. They're measured slowly, infinitesimally, over a lifetime.
...I feel most keenly the precarious joy of living alone among multitudes.
Quotes to remember:
We grow physically, but who we are inside has no fixed age.
An eighth-grade teacher in the public schools is always trying to wrest order from chaos, and for this reason, in junior high perhaps we should employ only martial arts experts and military men and women who can mete out love like K rations.
Our whole lives we struggle with our personal sense of failure. To the outside world, our failures are strangers, but to us, they're our closest intimates, closer than friends, children, spouses, parents; nourished from an early age, they may become so strong that they overcome us.
No matter how old we are, I think adulthood shocks us from time to time all the way to the grave.
Truly, there's no way to quickly or easily measure outcomes. They're measured slowly, infinitesimally, over a lifetime.
...I feel most keenly the precarious joy of living alone among multitudes.
December 13, 2013
I guess I cannot fully relate to a forty-eight year old man trying to relive such insignificant and yet monumental moments in his life, but I did enjoy this book immensely. While I have always been one to follow the theory of running as fast as physically possible (literally and figuratively) from an embarrassing moment, Robin Hemley has recorded himself throwing himself back into situations that have haunted him for years in order to relate to his two daughters. The parallels he draws between his current life, the past experiences, and his reasoning for reliving them all come together in a quirky and interesting read. There were times I was embarrassed for him as he remembered and then relived those moments. The most shocking for me was when he took another man’s wife to prom. I know there was full consent given, but I squirmed a bit (I guess this shows my immaturity). Prom is generally acknowledged to be one of the greatest moments of one’s high school years, but to go at such an…old… age is a bit too uncomfortable for me.
In all it was interesting to look through his eyes and wonder myself what embarrassments and mistakes, or moments of cowardice have affected my life. His application of his life events as a father and preparation for the upcoming years with his daughters was sweet. His style of writing made me feel like he was sitting in front of me telling me these stories himself in a tongue-in-cheek manner.
In all it was interesting to look through his eyes and wonder myself what embarrassments and mistakes, or moments of cowardice have affected my life. His application of his life events as a father and preparation for the upcoming years with his daughters was sweet. His style of writing made me feel like he was sitting in front of me telling me these stories himself in a tongue-in-cheek manner.
January 22, 2011
After deciding that some of the things that had gone wrong in his adult life stemmed from episodes in his childhood that didn't go well, Robin Hemley decided it was time to do-over those "failures."
He returned to kindergarten, where he remembered the teacher stepping on him; he went back to summer camp where he remembered being picked on; he went back to high school and re-did the exchange student program to Japan that he had quit in his adolescence. Along the way he discovered a lot about himself.
It took me weeks to get through this book - almost months. It wasn't that it was bad, there were some poignant moments and some laugh out loud passages - I just had a hard time getting on board with the author's whole premise - that re-visiting his past would help him move forward in the future. Why couldn't he just learn from those moments and move forward? I kept at it mostly because I wanted to see what he learned in the end. Perhaps the author puts it best, "I can honestly say that there's nothing major I would change in my life, that the dis-satisfactions are finally small and inconsequential." So I'm not sure whether this experiment really made a great deal of difference in his life - he learned some stuff about education today, he met some old friends and made some new ones, but was it all necessary? I'm not sure.
He returned to kindergarten, where he remembered the teacher stepping on him; he went back to summer camp where he remembered being picked on; he went back to high school and re-did the exchange student program to Japan that he had quit in his adolescence. Along the way he discovered a lot about himself.
It took me weeks to get through this book - almost months. It wasn't that it was bad, there were some poignant moments and some laugh out loud passages - I just had a hard time getting on board with the author's whole premise - that re-visiting his past would help him move forward in the future. Why couldn't he just learn from those moments and move forward? I kept at it mostly because I wanted to see what he learned in the end. Perhaps the author puts it best, "I can honestly say that there's nothing major I would change in my life, that the dis-satisfactions are finally small and inconsequential." So I'm not sure whether this experiment really made a great deal of difference in his life - he learned some stuff about education today, he met some old friends and made some new ones, but was it all necessary? I'm not sure.
August 19, 2011
Excellent book. Very well written - you can tell that Hemley is a prof who appreciates a nicely done sentance. In addition to great structure, this book's themes are both entertaining and thought-provoking. The opening (Kindergarten do-over) will suck you in - very funny.
Both humorous and reflective, this book was hard to put down mentally as I found myself comparing my actions during paralell stages of my growing up. In particular, I attended boarding school and can relate to the idea that South Korea should've had a consulate on campus. I learned much about other cultures through my friends as Hemley did. I wonder how I would've fared if I'd entered an exchange program with Japan.
My family moved and I wish I could go back to my old house where I spent most of my childhood. Would like to see what the new owners have done inside. I was disappointed with how they'd let the outside go - so perhaps I shouldn't set myself up for more disappointment?
To my GoodReads friends in Chillicothe OH: Hemley spent childhood in Athens, OH. I know of one of the people he mentions in this book (that person lives in Chilli now). I wonder if anybody YOU know makes an appearance in this book or if you've been to any of the places/events that he describes.
Both humorous and reflective, this book was hard to put down mentally as I found myself comparing my actions during paralell stages of my growing up. In particular, I attended boarding school and can relate to the idea that South Korea should've had a consulate on campus. I learned much about other cultures through my friends as Hemley did. I wonder how I would've fared if I'd entered an exchange program with Japan.
My family moved and I wish I could go back to my old house where I spent most of my childhood. Would like to see what the new owners have done inside. I was disappointed with how they'd let the outside go - so perhaps I shouldn't set myself up for more disappointment?
To my GoodReads friends in Chillicothe OH: Hemley spent childhood in Athens, OH. I know of one of the people he mentions in this book (that person lives in Chilli now). I wonder if anybody YOU know makes an appearance in this book or if you've been to any of the places/events that he describes.
May 25, 2010
Robin Hemley was still teaching at Western when I went there and he and one of my other instructors were good friends, so it was almost like they both taught that literature class. This book was surprising to me for several reasons. One, I've never had the desire to do-over any of my past mistakes, but I have to say that Robin was pretty successful at it. Another reason this book surprised me was that so many people were understanding and supportive of his project.
The saddest episode comes at the first of the book I think, when Robin tries to do-over kindergarten. The experience is so different, so much kinder than the experience he had. Then he explains what happened to his first kindergarten teacher. I felt he said some of this tongue-in-cheek, but I don't think her final experience was linked to his pre-school behavior.
Robin's do-over of prom is cool. He actually takes the girl he had wanted to ask those many years ago, with her husband's full knowledge and approval.
And at the end of his book, Robin philosophizes and ends on a happy and joyful note.
All in all, it was a very enjoyable read. I'll never follow his example, but maybe Tom Wolfe was wrong -- maybe you can go home again.
The saddest episode comes at the first of the book I think, when Robin tries to do-over kindergarten. The experience is so different, so much kinder than the experience he had. Then he explains what happened to his first kindergarten teacher. I felt he said some of this tongue-in-cheek, but I don't think her final experience was linked to his pre-school behavior.
Robin's do-over of prom is cool. He actually takes the girl he had wanted to ask those many years ago, with her husband's full knowledge and approval.
And at the end of his book, Robin philosophizes and ends on a happy and joyful note.
All in all, it was a very enjoyable read. I'll never follow his example, but maybe Tom Wolfe was wrong -- maybe you can go home again.
November 2, 2012
Do Over!: In Which a Forty-Eight-Year-Old Father of Three Returns to Kindergarten, Summer Camp, the Prom and Other Embarrassments by Robin Hemley is a captivating memoir that will leave you hanging on every page. Robin Hemley is a 48 year old man who has the children. He decides to "go back in time" and redo all of his embarrassments as a child. Some of these embarrassments include Kindergarten, where he goes to music class, Sixth Grade, where he uses the exact same Social Studies book that I used in sixth grade, and Summer Camp, where he "learns" to swim. If you like memoirs or really any other page-turning novel, I would recommend this book to you.
Bernard Cooper, author of The Bill From My Father says, "Do-Over! is one of the funniest, wisest, most perfectly observed books I've ever read. Robin Hemley possesses a keen insight into the all-too-human wish to rectify our past mistakes. He also knows that we are better for having made them."
Robin Hemley, the author has also won a couple of awards, including the Independent Press Book Award for Nonfiction.
ACADEMIC HONESTY--By pasting this statement, I am indicating that I read the book, and the information on this page is accurate.
Bernard Cooper, author of The Bill From My Father says, "Do-Over! is one of the funniest, wisest, most perfectly observed books I've ever read. Robin Hemley possesses a keen insight into the all-too-human wish to rectify our past mistakes. He also knows that we are better for having made them."
Robin Hemley, the author has also won a couple of awards, including the Independent Press Book Award for Nonfiction.
ACADEMIC HONESTY--By pasting this statement, I am indicating that I read the book, and the information on this page is accurate.
May 20, 2009
There were a lot of laugh-out-loud moments in this book, like when he’s playing pretend in kindergarten. Hemley’s got a great sense of humor and it really is funny seeing the lives of kids and teenagers through an adult’s eye. He also makes some wonderful observations about human nature. It amazes me how willingly the kids accepted him as one of themselves.
The faculty and other adults he ran into during his project had mixed reactions, but most seemed to understand. I, however, didn’t. I just didn’t get this book or his project. It was funny, but really, what was the point? I know: to have a do-over, to make new memories, to find some degree of closure, to become a better father to his own kids. It sounds good, but to be honest, I just didn’t get it. I felt like it was a waste of my time. I was amused fairly often, but I didn’t care about Hemley or his “project” and really thought it was kind of odd. I think I’d be creeped out if a 48 year-old man was joining Amber’s class or camp for a week – as a student. Maybe the fact that I can’t ever imagine wanting to “do-over” any of those points in my life didn’t help.
The faculty and other adults he ran into during his project had mixed reactions, but most seemed to understand. I, however, didn’t. I just didn’t get this book or his project. It was funny, but really, what was the point? I know: to have a do-over, to make new memories, to find some degree of closure, to become a better father to his own kids. It sounds good, but to be honest, I just didn’t get it. I felt like it was a waste of my time. I was amused fairly often, but I didn’t care about Hemley or his “project” and really thought it was kind of odd. I think I’d be creeped out if a 48 year-old man was joining Amber’s class or camp for a week – as a student. Maybe the fact that I can’t ever imagine wanting to “do-over” any of those points in my life didn’t help.
September 29, 2009
“Do-Over!” will make you want to read it over and over. The book is exceptionally funny and witty. Robin is brave enough to write about things that he was not successful in during his childhood and has had enough courage to do them over. It was very entertaining to read about a 48-year-old in camp, kindergarten, and other places that no other 48-year-old adult, a father of 5, would go for any other reason than losing a bet. Robin’s sense of humor and way of describing things makes you laugh out loud even in public. His sincerity and genuine desire to replace the bad memories with new and better ones is very endearing. As I followed Robin’s journey of doing over kindergarten, prom, exchange program in Japan, etc. I thought of a couple of things I could do over myself, and that’s the beauty of it: Each of us can think of a few things we want to undo or redo, but only Robin had the guts to actually do it.
January 2, 2010
The author of this book decides to go back through his life and redo certain things that he thinks he did wrong somehow the first time through and affected his life. These things range from redoing whole years of school like kindergarten and eighth grade or his year abroad in Japan or specific things like having a role in a play that he flubbed or not taking the ACTs. Each chapter of the book talks about one of the things he redoes, his reasoning for redoing it, and how he goes about redoing it. Throughout the book he also incorporates things that are currently going on in his life. As I mentioned in an earlier review these types of gimmicky books where someone does something usually for a year's time are becoming a dime a dozen, but this one was still pretty good and a little bit of a different take on a similar theme.
December 28, 2010
A self-indulgent, memoir-like nonfiction book, in which the 48-year-old author, a divorced & remarried father who lives in Iowa City & teaches in the Nonfiction Writing Program at the University of Iowa, recounts experiences of reliving traumatic events from his childhood & adolescence: kindergarten, summer camp, senior prom, etc. He seems to think it's an account of self-discovery, but what self-discovery there is seems pretty thin to me. What seems more prominent are his conclusions in all of the cases I read (I ended up skipping about half of them) that we (adults) now treat children & adolescents much more fairly & wisely than we were treated. That may be true, but it hardly seems an authentic or particularly useful way of reliving childhood & adolescence.
August 10, 2009
This was a terrific book, by turns hilarious and moving. If you've ever felt like you wanted to reverse some childhood injustice or humiliation, you'll relate. The pictures were an excellent addition. Although I wouldn't be brave enough to return to my high school (that's what Facebook is for, right?) it was a fun event to imagine though Hemley's experiences. The first few chapters are as funny as anything I've ever read--I was laughing out loud in various restaurants as I made my way through this--but I do have the sense of humor of a 12 year old. A great book, both thought provoking and very funny.
September 7, 2009
Author Robin Hemley takes part in in an entertaining collection of "do-overs," an effort to redeem and learn a bit about himself as well. It appears that he gleans some of the deepest insight when he returns to Japan in the role of exchange student. I had to take a break from it after a while--the idea wore a tad thin. Good insights, but I enjoyed A.J. Jacobs' books more. [Two of the three of his I've read are: "The Year of Living Biblically" and "The Know-It-All," about the year he spent reading the Encyclopaedia Britannica from A to Z (or, more precisely, from a-ak to zywiec). Both are hilarious and I learned a lot, too.]
June 23, 2009
We all arrive to adulthood with a wide variety of regrets, disappointments and things we would like to change about how we've gone along the path of life. Robin Hemley has taken a look at the placed along his path he would like to try again at -- moving from early experiences, like kindergarten through prom and frat membership and more. The book is a look into the present and into the past and what makes us who we are -- and how much of that is (or is not) up for change. A thoughtful read that might be great for a bookclub discussion.
September 16, 2009
Another author I heard on NPR. Love the premise -- a guy goes back and re-does events in his life that he feels like he messed up the first time -- like when he flubbed his lines in a school play or when he didn't go to prom. Part of the book dragged a little bit, okay, a lot, but I really liked when he went to kindergarten and middle school. It was fun to see how the other kids reacted to him. I also thought it was hilarious how he filled in the ACT application. It made me think about what I would want to "do-over" in my life.
May 2, 2012
I started this book in February and kept getting interrupted by reserve books from the library and book club books, but since the chapters were episodic, it didn't seem to matter. I did enjoy this rather quirky story about a 48 year old English professor from the University of Iowa who decided to go back and "do-over" some of his bad experiences from childhood. It gave an interesting contrast to the days in the 60's and 70's and now.
Thanks to sister Ruth for the recommendation and the loaner.
Thanks to sister Ruth for the recommendation and the loaner.
August 30, 2012
So far this crazy author had had me in stitches a few times with his descriptions of what it's like to go back and "do-over" your worst flubs and embarrassments of childhood. Re-doing kindergarten might be fun but camp and 6th grade, eh, I don't think so. Besides I LOVED 6th grade thanks to a teacher who "got me."
But fumbles aside, Robin takes us from the journey of a 48 yr old being in kindergarten one minute to a father of 3 girls and the not-so-much joy of being a Disneyland dad of his two estranged girls.
A really good read that I picked up at the dollar store!
But fumbles aside, Robin takes us from the journey of a 48 yr old being in kindergarten one minute to a father of 3 girls and the not-so-much joy of being a Disneyland dad of his two estranged girls.
A really good read that I picked up at the dollar store!
October 7, 2012
This is an analysis of regret and the ability to change perspective. Hemley contrived do-over scenarios that allowed him to pretty much talk about whatever he wanted: his opinions about anything, his family, his wishes and failures, etc.
There isn't much conclusion within each chapter (each do-over). Hemley doesn't come to realizations about himself until the end, which I think hurt my rating of the book. After the novelty of going back and literally reliving parts of your life wore off, I was left wanting his extrapolation of ideas from the experiences.
There isn't much conclusion within each chapter (each do-over). Hemley doesn't come to realizations about himself until the end, which I think hurt my rating of the book. After the novelty of going back and literally reliving parts of your life wore off, I was left wanting his extrapolation of ideas from the experiences.
August 16, 2009
I was hoping this would be a light, humorous take on all those "do-overs" we'd like a chance at. But just a few pages in, it was much more serious and dense than I had anticipated. I just wasn't in the mood to follow along while someone battled his own interior demons.
I'm not going to rate this because I have no idea how good the book is. I just know it wasn't what I wanted to read right now.
Maybe someday I'll give it another try.
I'm not going to rate this because I have no idea how good the book is. I just know it wasn't what I wanted to read right now.
Maybe someday I'll give it another try.
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