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Until the Real Thing Comes Along
Patty Murphy is facing that pivotal point in a woman's life when her biological clock ticks as insistently as a beating heart. Will she find Mr Right and start a family? But Patty is in love - with a man who is not only attractive and financially sound, but sensitive and warmhearted. There's just one small problem: He is also gay. Against her better judgment, and pleas from family and friends, Patty refuses to give up on Ethan. Every man she dates ultimately leaves her aching for the gentle comfort and intimacy she shares with him. But even as she throws eligible bachelors to the wayside to spend yet another platonic night with Ethan, Patty longs more and more for the consolation of loving and being loved. In the meantime she must content herself with waiting - until the real thing comes along . . .
282 pages, Paperback
First published April 7, 1999
256 people are currently reading
1707 people want to read
About the author
Elizabeth Berg
69 books5,030 followersElizabeth Berg is an American novelist.
She was born in Saint Paul, Minnesota, and lived in Boston prior to her residence in Chicago. She studied English and Humanities at the University of Minnesota, but later ended up with a nursing degree. Her writing career started when she won an essay contest in Parents magazine. Since her debut novel in 1993, her novels have sold in large numbers and have received several awards and nominations, although some critics have tagged them as sentimental. She won the New England Book Awards in 1997.
The novels Durable Goods, Joy School, and True to Form form a trilogy about the 12-year-old Katie Nash, in part based on the author's own experience as a daughter in a military family. Her essay "The Pretend Knitter" appears in the anthology Knitting Yarns: Writers on Knitting, published by W. W. Norton & Company in November 2013.
She was born in Saint Paul, Minnesota, and lived in Boston prior to her residence in Chicago. She studied English and Humanities at the University of Minnesota, but later ended up with a nursing degree. Her writing career started when she won an essay contest in Parents magazine. Since her debut novel in 1993, her novels have sold in large numbers and have received several awards and nominations, although some critics have tagged them as sentimental. She won the New England Book Awards in 1997.
The novels Durable Goods, Joy School, and True to Form form a trilogy about the 12-year-old Katie Nash, in part based on the author's own experience as a daughter in a military family. Her essay "The Pretend Knitter" appears in the anthology Knitting Yarns: Writers on Knitting, published by W. W. Norton & Company in November 2013.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 399 reviews
March 8, 2009
I was disappointed in this book. This is not one of Berg's best, yet it is still a pretty good read. Patty (the title character) is the least likable main character that Berg has done. If she were a friend of mine I would want to shake her and tell her to grow up and watch the movie "He's Just Not That Into You".
June 8, 2015
From the book jacket: What do you do when your life isn’t living up to your dreams? When the man you love is unavailable, and yet you long for a family, a home? What is the cost of compromising until the real thing comes along?
My reactions
I really wanted to like this. I’ve read a number of Berg’s books and liked them all. She has a gift for dialogue and for letting the reader into her character’s lives and motivations. But …
Patty’s constant wishy-washy attitudes, her complete inability to move on with her life just irritate the heck out of me. I didn’t care what happened to her in her sad little life.
I WAS interested in the story with her parents, and wish Berg had explored that storyline rather than Patty’s non-existent fantasy love life.
My reactions
I really wanted to like this. I’ve read a number of Berg’s books and liked them all. She has a gift for dialogue and for letting the reader into her character’s lives and motivations. But …
Patty’s constant wishy-washy attitudes, her complete inability to move on with her life just irritate the heck out of me. I didn’t care what happened to her in her sad little life.
I WAS interested in the story with her parents, and wish Berg had explored that storyline rather than Patty’s non-existent fantasy love life.
September 26, 2024
I think of Berg as Anne Tyler lite, likely to appeal to readers of Sue Miller, Catherine Newman, and Maggie O’Farrell. I’d read five of her novels and they are all at least moderately enjoyable. But this was pretty annoying and cliched. The plot is straight out of that Rupert Everett–Madonna movie The Next Best Thing. Patty is madly in love with her friend Ethan but, darn it, he’s gay. She’s also 36 and desperate for a baby. She can’t see another way to get one, so Ethan agrees to impregnate her. Works first time! Everything goes perfectly with the pregnancy, and he says he’ll try to act straight so they can move to Minneapolis to raise the baby. Reality does set in, but only very late on. My main problem was Patty: always complaining, putting no effort into her real estate career, and oblivious to when her parents are struggling. Ethan’s experience losing friends to AIDS is shoehorned in through one histrionic paragraph. This got better as it went on, but certainly wasn’t what I’d call fresh and convincing.
January 25, 2012
I have read many of Elizabeth Berg's books and have thoroughly enjoyed them. This one was an exception. The premise of the book is a mid-thirty year old who is feeling her biological clock ticking. Although she dates men, no one ever lives up to her high school sweetheart who is gay and unavailable to her as a mate. Patty is also a real estate agent who has only sold one house and in the book doesn't seem to do much working except to take one couple from house to house knowing that they are never going to buy which leaves you wondering how she supports herself. The story left me with no emotional attachment to the characters and fell flat as a story line. I was very disappointed in this Berg book but then you can't always hit a home run and some of her other books are very well done.
March 25, 2010
Berg's books are extremely readable and her ear for dialogue is remarkable. This particular novel is about a 36 year old woman in love with a gay man. They had been connected since childhood, had an affair before he "came out" and are best friends. The woman, Patty, desperately desires a baby,but isn't willing to settle for a man she doesn't love. She can't help loving Ethan and he loves her too, just not sexually or romantically. They finally decide to have a child together and they attempt to live together, but it turns out that primarily Ethan is trying to escape from the depression caused by his many friends dying from AIDs and his grueling experiences in caring for them. Patty can't help but hope that Ethan will "go straight" and be the lover she desires. As a subplot, Patty's mother is diagnosed with Alzheimers and the family comes together to cope with this.Patty has the baby and Ethan names her Marilyn after Patty's mom. The novel concludes with Patty getting together with her friends Elaine and Mark (a former boyfriend of Patty's) and Ethan and his lover Louis. Patty is resigned that she may never find "the love of her life" but she has her child and home and a loving family and friends. Despite the sadness of Patty being unable to fulfill her dream of a relaitonship with Ethan, this is a feel-good book and one likes the characters. In fact,this may be the only caveat: there's no dark side,not even a hint of one. All of Berg's characters are generous hearted and morally good.One longs for a touch of vinegar.
August 5, 2009
I normally LOVE Elizabeth Berg's books, but I did not like this one at all. The main character was annoying and selfish and really didn't change through the telling of the book. She threw a fit and got what she wanted and hurt people in the process. The author called it growth. I called it continued selfishness.
Finally, I am all about the happy ending, but this tied up ends in a whirlwind and without any realism AT ALL!
Overall this book annoyed me and I kept wanting to throw it across the room.
Finally, I am all about the happy ending, but this tied up ends in a whirlwind and without any realism AT ALL!
Overall this book annoyed me and I kept wanting to throw it across the room.
January 5, 2018
This book was an easy read that I finished in two days. I liked it well enough, but I don't think it is one of Elizabeth Berg's best stories. Usually her female characters have a little more depth than Patty, the main character in this story.
March 22, 2020
Easy read, feels like you are sitting right with the characters as it goes. Touches on some important themes but feels a little disjointed, though I guess that’s part of blending right in with the main character.
September 21, 2024
Lizzy Berg makes me feel like a WOMAN!!!!!!!! I adore her writing. Feels like a hug from your aunt.
October 24, 2012
I've not read any of Elizabeth Berg's other books, although I want to - her writing draws you in to the characters, her descriptions and dialogues are excellent. This story was well written, mildly entertaining (I read it all the way through), but unfulfilling.
A few chapters into the book, though I still wanted to keep on reading, I wondered if this was the book an old Madonna movie was based on - girl wants baby, girl has baby by gay best friend, everyone lives happily ever after.
This book isn't that story - there's a bit more. Patty's clock may be ticking, but not necessarily for a baby. She thinks it might be for Ethan, but she seems to be searching for some meaning in her life, without knowing where to start. She isn't the only one who is lost, for somehow the message the author was attempting to relay doesn't quite get to the reader.
In the beginning, Patty tells of her 'house game.' An unsuccessful real estate agent, she's been playing this game since she was a child. When driving around, she looks at houses, then picks one she pretends is hers. The only rule is that after she picks it, she can't change her mind if something better comes along. She claims she never feels regret. Here is the big clue about Patty, and what she's doing with her life.
Patty is so preoccupied with her own lack of a love life, she misses clues her parents scatter around that something is not quite right. She throws away, without even trying him out, the ideal guy for her, fixating on someone she can never have, settling for less than she needs to - but in the end, she's moderately contented.
It isn't until the end of the book that the hollowness of Patty Anne Murphy's life comes to light. She has found meaning through her baby - but she's the fifth wheel in a warm dinner in her new home. She claims that's OK - but it sounds a bit like her acceptance of the old game rules for 'house'-- hard to believe. If you really peek closely, you can see hints that she's finding out the real thing she was waiting for wasn't the unattainable guy, nor necessarily the lovely new addition to her life - but is perhaps her acceptance of just being herself.
There seems to be a chapter missing towards the end; readers have to struggle harder than Patty to find some clues. Somehow the connection between writer and reader doesn't quite make it (as other reviewers of this book seem to agree).
It wasn't until I read the interview with Berg after the end of the story that I understood some of her deeper intents for the book. The book was OK - but in my pleasure reading I want something better to come along!
A few chapters into the book, though I still wanted to keep on reading, I wondered if this was the book an old Madonna movie was based on - girl wants baby, girl has baby by gay best friend, everyone lives happily ever after.
This book isn't that story - there's a bit more. Patty's clock may be ticking, but not necessarily for a baby. She thinks it might be for Ethan, but she seems to be searching for some meaning in her life, without knowing where to start. She isn't the only one who is lost, for somehow the message the author was attempting to relay doesn't quite get to the reader.
In the beginning, Patty tells of her 'house game.' An unsuccessful real estate agent, she's been playing this game since she was a child. When driving around, she looks at houses, then picks one she pretends is hers. The only rule is that after she picks it, she can't change her mind if something better comes along. She claims she never feels regret. Here is the big clue about Patty, and what she's doing with her life.
Patty is so preoccupied with her own lack of a love life, she misses clues her parents scatter around that something is not quite right. She throws away, without even trying him out, the ideal guy for her, fixating on someone she can never have, settling for less than she needs to - but in the end, she's moderately contented.
It isn't until the end of the book that the hollowness of Patty Anne Murphy's life comes to light. She has found meaning through her baby - but she's the fifth wheel in a warm dinner in her new home. She claims that's OK - but it sounds a bit like her acceptance of the old game rules for 'house'-- hard to believe. If you really peek closely, you can see hints that she's finding out the real thing she was waiting for wasn't the unattainable guy, nor necessarily the lovely new addition to her life - but is perhaps her acceptance of just being herself.
There seems to be a chapter missing towards the end; readers have to struggle harder than Patty to find some clues. Somehow the connection between writer and reader doesn't quite make it (as other reviewers of this book seem to agree).
It wasn't until I read the interview with Berg after the end of the story that I understood some of her deeper intents for the book. The book was OK - but in my pleasure reading I want something better to come along!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 19, 2008
I loved reading this book. I (as slow of a reader as I am) finished in about three nights of reading. It's a fun, easy book to read that doesn't drain you mentally...like some of the recent books I have read.
May 6, 2009
Another great book by Elizabeth Berg. She has a way with words. She can take the most ordinary everyday things that happen in life and make them interesting. She writes about women and their feelings like no one else. I read this book in one day.
October 8, 2018
3.5 an unexpectedly fun weekend chicklit read.
February 5, 2020
Great book.
April 21, 2018
Based on the reviews, I knew going in that I would not be reading one of the author's more well liked books. However, it was on the short side and I picked it up at a bargain price and decided to jump in before I started a much longer book. I'd say the reviews are fairly accurate. The main character was pretty annoying. However, I was able to overlook some of her character flaws in exchange for the quality of writing and as I have come to expect, the honestly that she tries to impart. I will continue to read this author, I enjoy her voice in literature.
July 27, 2019
What do you do when you are in love with your best friend, who is gay, you're not very good at your job, and your biological clock is ticking? Patty wants nothing more than a sweet, domestic life and her parents, friends, neighbors, and even her clients and manicurist all have loving advice for her told. Humorous and emotional story telling. Quick read, some language.
October 2, 2019
Berg is excellent at putting into words what human nature wants but does not always admit to out loud.
March 19, 2020
Love Elizabeth Berg's writing. This woman has a way with words. Easy and entertaining read. Her language grabs you....
February 13, 2022
Despite others’ reviews, I found this book delightful. I found the main characters plenty likable, maybe because Patty reminded me so much (in a way) of one of my daughters. I thought their pain and angst were very real things and if I had not had my own dear children, I KNOW I would have felt a hole in my own life, since I had ALWAYS wanted children. As usual, I love Berg’s charitable take on people.
August 16, 2023
This book had so much potential but was hard to enjoy as a result of the insufferable main character
May 15, 2025
I am an Elizabeth Beth fan. I enjoy the style of writing, , the storylines, the cadence/flow of her books. Until the Real Thing Comes Along did not do it for me though, and it’s not because she didn’t follow the same formula. I simply could not stand the main character, Patty, who was so self obsessed and, in a sense, selfish that it made the story unenjoyable. I know, it’s just a book and the characters aren’t real….and I didn’t have to read it…
April 1, 2021
After seventy-five pages in, I was about to give up on this book. I'm glad that I did not, because Berg recovered from a slow, superficial start. The personal development of the main character soared as the narrative arc revealed how God can create beauty from ashes, even when life seemingly continues to disappoint.
July 21, 2020
Smiles, laughter, and tears through this whole lovely book.
August 25, 2020
This was really good and sad. You really felt for her but then also wanted to knock some sense into her!
May 15, 2015
I grabbed this Elizabeth Berg without having read the back cover (rare for me), but decided to go ahead and start it despite the subject matter.
(Minor) ***Spoiler Alerts***
From a familial standpoint, I adamantly disagree with how the main character goes about trying to start a family. I know better than to try and inject logic into chick-lit, but we are surrounded by studies that show we cannot have it all. Children suffer when there is not a mother and a father in the home. Berg has a knack for writing characters that I often find selfish and sometimes unwise but I suppose a floundering main character makes for a good story line, so I can look past that.
But in the end, there were no consequences. In real life, you don't get to play by your own rules. I kept thinking about her choices, and what little Marilyn's life would look like, growing up without a present father. Patty made choices that would affect other people, but we don't get to see those play out. This neat, tidy package is what separates great literature from an enjoyable chick-lit story I guess.
Still, the writing was excellent (4 star level), but I just couldn't get over how contradictory Patty's choices were. She said she wanted a family "more" than anything, but she continually made choices that contradicted that (breaking up with perfectly wonderful men, because she just didn't "feel" that thing). I kept wanting to hand her The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, to remind her that women stick with real losers, but yet so many throw away a good one when they've got him standing in front of her.
It's this modern notion that we have to be happy-feely right in the moment, at all costs, even at the cost of our ultimate happiness, that I tire of. I weary of reading stories where it's wrapped up in a nice, tidy bow when literature should reflect real life, not life was we wish it could be.
Life is messy. This story was messy. So why tie it up in a neat little bow? The presence of a baby doesn't usually solve anything. She was unhappy before, and I doubt a nine-month old realistically solved the deepest longings in her heart.
Sappy, sweet, I just didn't buy it.
(Minor) ***Spoiler Alerts***
From a familial standpoint, I adamantly disagree with how the main character goes about trying to start a family. I know better than to try and inject logic into chick-lit, but we are surrounded by studies that show we cannot have it all. Children suffer when there is not a mother and a father in the home. Berg has a knack for writing characters that I often find selfish and sometimes unwise but I suppose a floundering main character makes for a good story line, so I can look past that.
But in the end, there were no consequences. In real life, you don't get to play by your own rules. I kept thinking about her choices, and what little Marilyn's life would look like, growing up without a present father. Patty made choices that would affect other people, but we don't get to see those play out. This neat, tidy package is what separates great literature from an enjoyable chick-lit story I guess.
Still, the writing was excellent (4 star level), but I just couldn't get over how contradictory Patty's choices were. She said she wanted a family "more" than anything, but she continually made choices that contradicted that (breaking up with perfectly wonderful men, because she just didn't "feel" that thing). I kept wanting to hand her The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, to remind her that women stick with real losers, but yet so many throw away a good one when they've got him standing in front of her.
It's this modern notion that we have to be happy-feely right in the moment, at all costs, even at the cost of our ultimate happiness, that I tire of. I weary of reading stories where it's wrapped up in a nice, tidy bow when literature should reflect real life, not life was we wish it could be.
Life is messy. This story was messy. So why tie it up in a neat little bow? The presence of a baby doesn't usually solve anything. She was unhappy before, and I doubt a nine-month old realistically solved the deepest longings in her heart.
Sappy, sweet, I just didn't buy it.
July 23, 2011
This was listed under the 'romance' section for ebooks at the library, so I thought I would give it a shot. Uh...not your typical romance, there isn't the boy meets girl/fall in love/marry/live happily ever after storyline. Instead, you have a 36 year old woman whose biological clock is ticking like a time bomb and rather than find a husband, she is still hung up on her best friend who happens to be very much not interested in women, in that way. On the plus side - the author writes in such a way that keeps a reader engaged in the book - and I am still pondering the fact that rich people who live in their multi-million dollar houses with gold plated bathrooms are forced to use the same type of toilet paper the rest of us use! Overall, if you are looking for a 'romance' story - not the book for you, if you are looking for a great author writing an interesting story line - this is the book for you.
April 6, 2009
One of my favourite authors!!
"At the end of each undemanding day, Patty goes home to an empty apartment and listens to her biological clock ticking as ominously as Captain Hook's crocodile...Patty wants a husband and a baby, and not necessarily in that order...But Patty has a problem. Try as she might, there is only one man she can love, her best friend, Ethan, and try as Ethan might, he is quite firmly and intractably gay. With rueful good humour, Until the Real Thing Comes Along shows how Patty and Ethan come to terms with the impossibility of having it all."
"At the end of each undemanding day, Patty goes home to an empty apartment and listens to her biological clock ticking as ominously as Captain Hook's crocodile...Patty wants a husband and a baby, and not necessarily in that order...But Patty has a problem. Try as she might, there is only one man she can love, her best friend, Ethan, and try as Ethan might, he is quite firmly and intractably gay. With rueful good humour, Until the Real Thing Comes Along shows how Patty and Ethan come to terms with the impossibility of having it all."
July 22, 2014
Girl fears spinsterhood, falls in love with gay friend, has baby with gay friend, he stays gay.
Blah blah, blah blah blah.
Just enough "vulnerable, hopeless, funny" in the main character to save it from a 1 star rating.
Berg does female characters well with a ...we know this girl - not sure how, but we've been friends with her...kind of deal.
But the plot was formulaic.
Blah blah, blah blah blah.
Just enough "vulnerable, hopeless, funny" in the main character to save it from a 1 star rating.
Berg does female characters well with a ...we know this girl - not sure how, but we've been friends with her...kind of deal.
But the plot was formulaic.
March 19, 2009
This book smelled my pants....
and I just farted.
and I just farted.
August 26, 2011
I loved this, another great story from this wonderful writer.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 399 reviews