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Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
Sometimes Carrie Blake feels she just can't stand life's problems or pain. At fifteen, she's had leukemia for three years, and although the disease is in remission, she's never sure when things might change. Her parents, whose bitter divorce has left Carrie feeling torn between them, don't seem to understand how much harder they make her daily life.
When Carrie meets Keith Gardner at a cancer support group, everything seems brighter. Keith and his loving, supportive family are wonderful to Carrie. Then Keith's illness worsens and he knows he can no longer fight off dying. Armed with love of family and friends, Keith chooses to participate in a hospice program, which allows him to remain at home instead of in the hospital. Carrie feels helpless as she watches Keith slip away. Will Keith's courage help Carrie to face her own uncertain future?
160 pages, Paperback
First published December 28, 1990
11 people are currently reading
657 people want to read
About the author
Lurlene McDaniel
136 books2,721 followersLurlene McDaniel (born c. 1948) is an author who has written over 50 young adult books. She is well known for writing about characters struggling with chronic and terminal illnesses, such as cancer, diabetes, and organ failure.
Other places to find her are...
https://www.facebook.com/lurlenemcdan...
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http://www.youtube.com/user/LurleneMc
Other places to find her are...
https://www.facebook.com/lurlenemcdan...
http://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/aut...
http://www.youtube.com/user/LurleneMc
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
June 1, 2012
This month, my YA book club decided to read books about cancer.
Uplifting, I know.
Well, kinda. Two of the books (Jesse Andrews' hilariously profane Me & Earl & the Dying Girl and John Green's beautifully written but not-as-heartwrenching-as-it-wanted-to-be The Fault in Our Stars) were certain to be competent, debate-worthy books. But because we wanted a foil, we each decided to select a Lurlene McDaniel book. The queen of terminally-ill teen schmaltz in the 80s and 90s, McDaniel would surely provide the contrast we were looking for.
Did she ever.
I'm going to spoil every detail of this book, so if you truly want to read it, you should stop here. I can't help myself, though. It's so deliciously awful that I must share every gory detail.
Carrie is a survivor of leukemia, and one day at her support group, she meets Keith, a sophomore with Hodgkin's disease. Within ten pages, Carrie is totally crushing on him because he is a raging hottie. He's also going to die, but Carrie doesn't know that because Lurlene McDaniel hasn't told us yet. Carrie will find out when we (officially) find out, and, trust me, it is going to epic.
McDaniel comes from the School of Describing Natural Settings In Great Detail. At any given moment, Carrie is smelling the air, gazing at the twilight, or analyzing the various shades of colors around her. In fact, if Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep were ever, God forbid, turned into a movie, it would be entirely filmed in that 1970s Hazy Porn Filter. McDaniel also comes from the School of Telling Not Showing. The reader need not make a single solitary inference, for the author graciously provides every detail imaginable. At a picnic, Carrie invites herself to eat the food from the lunch Keith's family has brought.
"Midway thought the meal Gwen handed Keith his guitar, and he played songs that people could sing. As she watched him play, Carrie decided that Keith made everything fun." (p. 31)
It is worth noting that Keith, prior to this, has done absolutely nothing that would lead anyone rational to believe he is anything but a boy who says things like, "I like music. I play guitar." because that's all he's done up to this point. So when, during a baseball game, Keith gets knocked on his ass when a batter line drives a pitch into his shoulder, it's hard to feel any emotion except... well... except delight.
If this makes me a bad person, I don't want to be good.
Keith's hospital visit from this accident turns into an Oh Shit moment when it's discovered that a tumor has metastasized. He's a goner. And it's only page 50. Carrie immediately becomes a stalker and visits Keith in the hospital more than his parents do. Even her shrieking harpy of a mother can't convince her to let the boy die in peace.
Instead, Carrie goes Full Throttle Creepy and makes Keith a terrarium (teenage girls love doing this kinda thing for boys they're crushing on) and invites herself over to his parents' house so that she can eat dinner with them and sleep over while Keith is, like, dying on the sofa. When his family announces they're going to their summer home so that Keith can experience the place he loves most before dying, Carrie's already in the car buckling her seatbelt.
At this point, Keith is pretty much catatonic and in constant pain, but Carrie doesn't give a shit. They take a moonlight walk on their last evening at the summer house, and Keith tells her some Serious Things. Dying, apparently, gives you the clarity to trot out heinous, life-affirming platitudes like, "For me... it's over. But not for you." After this bon mot, I was hoping they'd have crazy-good sex (so I'd at least be titillated), but, no. They just sit with their backs against a tree and Carrie weeps even though he's asked her (very) nicely not to.
Upon returning, Keith gets worse. Despite his hospice nurse telling the family that the sleep apnea Keith has developed is no indication that his life is eclipsing, Keith is dead 6 hours later. And the nurse probably gets fired. Here is where the book goes from maudlin and lackluster to hilariously bad. And unintentionally pornographic:
"...his family crowded inward, stroking, touching, exploring with soft touches and softer words." (p. 141)
*blinks* WHAT? I can't tell you how happy I am that McDaniel practiced a little restraint in telling us exactly what the family "stroked" and "explored with soft touches". Because honestly, friends, there are few things outside the bedroom that deserve these verbs, and I sure as hell don't want to read about a family actively using them on their dying son/brother.
So who is Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep for? Man, I wish I knew the answer to that question. Time has not been kind to the book, and I can't imagine it having an emotional influence on anyone, let alone a modern teen. Yet, there's a cadre of teenage girls who check McDaniel books out from my library. I can't imagine it's for any other reason but tongue-in-cheek irony.
Oh, please. I hope that's the case.
Uplifting, I know.
Well, kinda. Two of the books (Jesse Andrews' hilariously profane Me & Earl & the Dying Girl and John Green's beautifully written but not-as-heartwrenching-as-it-wanted-to-be The Fault in Our Stars) were certain to be competent, debate-worthy books. But because we wanted a foil, we each decided to select a Lurlene McDaniel book. The queen of terminally-ill teen schmaltz in the 80s and 90s, McDaniel would surely provide the contrast we were looking for.
Did she ever.
I'm going to spoil every detail of this book, so if you truly want to read it, you should stop here. I can't help myself, though. It's so deliciously awful that I must share every gory detail.
Carrie is a survivor of leukemia, and one day at her support group, she meets Keith, a sophomore with Hodgkin's disease. Within ten pages, Carrie is totally crushing on him because he is a raging hottie. He's also going to die, but Carrie doesn't know that because Lurlene McDaniel hasn't told us yet. Carrie will find out when we (officially) find out, and, trust me, it is going to epic.
McDaniel comes from the School of Describing Natural Settings In Great Detail. At any given moment, Carrie is smelling the air, gazing at the twilight, or analyzing the various shades of colors around her. In fact, if Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep were ever, God forbid, turned into a movie, it would be entirely filmed in that 1970s Hazy Porn Filter. McDaniel also comes from the School of Telling Not Showing. The reader need not make a single solitary inference, for the author graciously provides every detail imaginable. At a picnic, Carrie invites herself to eat the food from the lunch Keith's family has brought.
"Midway thought the meal Gwen handed Keith his guitar, and he played songs that people could sing. As she watched him play, Carrie decided that Keith made everything fun." (p. 31)
It is worth noting that Keith, prior to this, has done absolutely nothing that would lead anyone rational to believe he is anything but a boy who says things like, "I like music. I play guitar." because that's all he's done up to this point. So when, during a baseball game, Keith gets knocked on his ass when a batter line drives a pitch into his shoulder, it's hard to feel any emotion except... well... except delight.
If this makes me a bad person, I don't want to be good.
Keith's hospital visit from this accident turns into an Oh Shit moment when it's discovered that a tumor has metastasized. He's a goner. And it's only page 50. Carrie immediately becomes a stalker and visits Keith in the hospital more than his parents do. Even her shrieking harpy of a mother can't convince her to let the boy die in peace.
Instead, Carrie goes Full Throttle Creepy and makes Keith a terrarium (teenage girls love doing this kinda thing for boys they're crushing on) and invites herself over to his parents' house so that she can eat dinner with them and sleep over while Keith is, like, dying on the sofa. When his family announces they're going to their summer home so that Keith can experience the place he loves most before dying, Carrie's already in the car buckling her seatbelt.
At this point, Keith is pretty much catatonic and in constant pain, but Carrie doesn't give a shit. They take a moonlight walk on their last evening at the summer house, and Keith tells her some Serious Things. Dying, apparently, gives you the clarity to trot out heinous, life-affirming platitudes like, "For me... it's over. But not for you." After this bon mot, I was hoping they'd have crazy-good sex (so I'd at least be titillated), but, no. They just sit with their backs against a tree and Carrie weeps even though he's asked her (very) nicely not to.
Upon returning, Keith gets worse. Despite his hospice nurse telling the family that the sleep apnea Keith has developed is no indication that his life is eclipsing, Keith is dead 6 hours later. And the nurse probably gets fired. Here is where the book goes from maudlin and lackluster to hilariously bad. And unintentionally pornographic:
"...his family crowded inward, stroking, touching, exploring with soft touches and softer words." (p. 141)
*blinks* WHAT? I can't tell you how happy I am that McDaniel practiced a little restraint in telling us exactly what the family "stroked" and "explored with soft touches". Because honestly, friends, there are few things outside the bedroom that deserve these verbs, and I sure as hell don't want to read about a family actively using them on their dying son/brother.
So who is Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep for? Man, I wish I knew the answer to that question. Time has not been kind to the book, and I can't imagine it having an emotional influence on anyone, let alone a modern teen. Yet, there's a cadre of teenage girls who check McDaniel books out from my library. I can't imagine it's for any other reason but tongue-in-cheek irony.
Oh, please. I hope that's the case.
October 28, 2007
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray Thee Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before i wake
I pray Thee Lord my soul to take
-------- Childhood Prayer.
My Response to the Book:
I think this book is good if you need some exercise for your tear ducts. It is really depressing and sad, because Keith dies in the end. I was pretty shaken up when he died. Its this kind of book that just makes me want to say 'why the heck did the antagonist die in the end?' To me, no one is supposed to die in books as story book people are meant to live forever. But in this book, the reality is portrayed. People do die, whether you expect them to, or whether you want them to. Whether or not they are your close ones, whether or not they are just distant relatives. This book taught Carrie a lesson, that before you think you lead a lousy life, think of others who have lousier ones. And before you give up on yourself, look at others who managed to survive, who managed to get through the problems and live on. It taught me a lesson too, that however lousy you feel, someone elese is feeling ten thousand times lousier than you are. And however lousy you feel, someone else is feeling the same way as you do.
This book is great, as all the other books are that were written by Lurlene McDaniel. Keith chose to take control of something in his life before he died, and that is where he would die. Instead of dying in a hospital, he chose the hospice programme. He died at home, with no complicated IV tubings he would have to stick into him and suffer. I could understand why. He didn't choose to have cancer, he didn't want cancer. But it got him instead. He didn't choose to have chemotherapy, he didn't want his health to be so bad. But it was. And he wanted to have something in his life that he could decide what to do and have control over. And he chose to die at home in the comfort of surrounding parents and Carrie and home nurses. He chose to take his last breathe on Earth in his very own bedroom. At least the decision would be his.
Carrie used to take pity on herself and her lousy lousy life. But that was before she met Keith. It is a wonder how an acquaintance would alter her life so much. Just like the people in our lives. We sometimes don't realise how they can impact our lives, and we don't cherish them or what they say. Keith helps Carrie deals with her life at home by bringing her into the comfort of his family life. Even though he was dying, he still helped Carrie overcome her fears and make decisions that altered the course of her life. He certainly made a deep impression in Carrie's life. The day before Keith fell into a coma, he told Carrie how much he wished for them to be well and normal like any other teenager. Everyone leads different courses in life, like in a university. You could take law, or philosophy. But unlike in a university where you had a choice, you don't choose what course you take in life. But you could change your attitude to fit it. Keith did. But he desperately wanted Carrie to understand that before he died. That was the last of Keith Carrie ever heard.
It is heart wrenching to watch a loved one die. No matter how much you a love a person, he or she will have to go one day. So will we. From this book, I saw how fragile life is and how precious as much as it is fragile.
Great lines from the book:
'Keith's chest heaved. Once, twice, then stilled. He was gone. He'd stepped beyond the room, beyond them all into a world without time. A place without pain. On the bed his body, his shell, looked empty and abandoned. Keith's metamorphosis was complete.'
I pray Thee Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before i wake
I pray Thee Lord my soul to take
-------- Childhood Prayer.
My Response to the Book:
I think this book is good if you need some exercise for your tear ducts. It is really depressing and sad, because Keith dies in the end. I was pretty shaken up when he died. Its this kind of book that just makes me want to say 'why the heck did the antagonist die in the end?' To me, no one is supposed to die in books as story book people are meant to live forever. But in this book, the reality is portrayed. People do die, whether you expect them to, or whether you want them to. Whether or not they are your close ones, whether or not they are just distant relatives. This book taught Carrie a lesson, that before you think you lead a lousy life, think of others who have lousier ones. And before you give up on yourself, look at others who managed to survive, who managed to get through the problems and live on. It taught me a lesson too, that however lousy you feel, someone elese is feeling ten thousand times lousier than you are. And however lousy you feel, someone else is feeling the same way as you do.
This book is great, as all the other books are that were written by Lurlene McDaniel. Keith chose to take control of something in his life before he died, and that is where he would die. Instead of dying in a hospital, he chose the hospice programme. He died at home, with no complicated IV tubings he would have to stick into him and suffer. I could understand why. He didn't choose to have cancer, he didn't want cancer. But it got him instead. He didn't choose to have chemotherapy, he didn't want his health to be so bad. But it was. And he wanted to have something in his life that he could decide what to do and have control over. And he chose to die at home in the comfort of surrounding parents and Carrie and home nurses. He chose to take his last breathe on Earth in his very own bedroom. At least the decision would be his.
Carrie used to take pity on herself and her lousy lousy life. But that was before she met Keith. It is a wonder how an acquaintance would alter her life so much. Just like the people in our lives. We sometimes don't realise how they can impact our lives, and we don't cherish them or what they say. Keith helps Carrie deals with her life at home by bringing her into the comfort of his family life. Even though he was dying, he still helped Carrie overcome her fears and make decisions that altered the course of her life. He certainly made a deep impression in Carrie's life. The day before Keith fell into a coma, he told Carrie how much he wished for them to be well and normal like any other teenager. Everyone leads different courses in life, like in a university. You could take law, or philosophy. But unlike in a university where you had a choice, you don't choose what course you take in life. But you could change your attitude to fit it. Keith did. But he desperately wanted Carrie to understand that before he died. That was the last of Keith Carrie ever heard.
It is heart wrenching to watch a loved one die. No matter how much you a love a person, he or she will have to go one day. So will we. From this book, I saw how fragile life is and how precious as much as it is fragile.
Great lines from the book:
'Keith's chest heaved. Once, twice, then stilled. He was gone. He'd stepped beyond the room, beyond them all into a world without time. A place without pain. On the bed his body, his shell, looked empty and abandoned. Keith's metamorphosis was complete.'
June 19, 2017
Extremely sad story of young love cut off before it could happen this made me cry
May 23, 2018
Why
I love all her books even as an adult and have a goal to read them all. She always deals with how teenagers deal with disabilities.
I love all her books even as an adult and have a goal to read them all. She always deals with how teenagers deal with disabilities.
April 9, 2021
This is my favorite book. This book is about a girl named Carrie and she's going through alot with leukemia. But she's also got a crush on this boy named Keith. Until something horrible happens. They try to spend much time together before time slips away. But now Carrie have to be strong for Keith but they love story ends short.
April 9, 2021
Really good book. It was sad but I liked it this is one of my favorite books. The writing was very clear easy to read and the setting is good to understand and pay attention.
May 11, 2024
Such a good book i just wish Kieth didn't die he was my favorite character
April 10, 2016
15 year old Carrie Blake has had leukemia for the past three years, but is now in remission. While in remission, she attends a support group, the same support group Keith Gardner is in. Her and Keith connect over the struggles of dealing with leukemia. Then, Keith's condition gets worse and can no longer fight off death. Carrie can no longer help Keith and herself as she tries to cope with Keith's awaiting death and her own inner demons.
I really like how the author used cancer as a way to connect two characters because cancer is something deeper and shows the deep connection between the characters, unlike other books where characters connect over hobbies and the connection doesn't seem as real as Carrie and Keiths' bond. I also love the way the author characterizes Carrie as the freshman with family problems and Keith as the star sophomore baseball player held back by re-occurring cancer. The author also does a really good job of contrasting the two by showing how unsupportive Carrie's divorced parents are and how supportive Keith's happily married parents are and even though they are no where near alike, they still have such an amazing and deep connection. I wish the author would go more into detail about the settings and surroundings. The author also includes how Carrie's parents did not really stay with her when she had leukemia and they just ditched her in the hospital "My parents didn't handle my cancer too well..."( pg 54). This shows why Carrie wants to spend a lot of time with Keith since her parents don't fully understand her or what its like to deal with leukemia.
I really like how the author used cancer as a way to connect two characters because cancer is something deeper and shows the deep connection between the characters, unlike other books where characters connect over hobbies and the connection doesn't seem as real as Carrie and Keiths' bond. I also love the way the author characterizes Carrie as the freshman with family problems and Keith as the star sophomore baseball player held back by re-occurring cancer. The author also does a really good job of contrasting the two by showing how unsupportive Carrie's divorced parents are and how supportive Keith's happily married parents are and even though they are no where near alike, they still have such an amazing and deep connection. I wish the author would go more into detail about the settings and surroundings. The author also includes how Carrie's parents did not really stay with her when she had leukemia and they just ditched her in the hospital "My parents didn't handle my cancer too well..."( pg 54). This shows why Carrie wants to spend a lot of time with Keith since her parents don't fully understand her or what its like to deal with leukemia.
September 18, 2015
I've always been a huge fan of Lurlene McDaniel, and I likely always will be. But this book holds a special place in my heart because I got a copy in the mail on the same day I learned a good friend of mine was dying. (He had a bad heart and there was nothing more the doctors could do.)
Reading this book provided wonderful therapy. It didn't make my situation any better, of course, but it sure made ME feel better. What I like best about this book is that it tells it like it is; nothing is hidden, not a bit of sugar is sprinkled. At the same time, the author uses extraordinary care and sensitivity. Not once does this story get preachy or condescending, and it really makes you think. It's sad, but also hopeful. I would say it provides just the right balance of sadness and sweetness.
Much as I love Lurlene McDaniel's other stories and look forward to more, like I said, I'll always have a soft spot for this one.
Reading this book provided wonderful therapy. It didn't make my situation any better, of course, but it sure made ME feel better. What I like best about this book is that it tells it like it is; nothing is hidden, not a bit of sugar is sprinkled. At the same time, the author uses extraordinary care and sensitivity. Not once does this story get preachy or condescending, and it really makes you think. It's sad, but also hopeful. I would say it provides just the right balance of sadness and sweetness.
Much as I love Lurlene McDaniel's other stories and look forward to more, like I said, I'll always have a soft spot for this one.
June 19, 2008
At fifteen, she's had leukemia for three years, and although the disease is in remission, she's never sure when things might change. carries parents who are devorced do not understan how life is so hard for her.
then Carrie meets Keith Gardner at a cancer support group, (her nurse and friend made her join )everything seems brighter. Keith and his loving supportive family are wonderful to Carrie. Then Keith's illness worsens and he knows he can no longer fight off dying. Armed with love of family and friends, Keith chooses to participate in a hospice program, which allows him to remain at home instead of in the hospital. Carrie feels helpless as she watches Keith slip away when she started to care about him so much Keith's courage helps Carrie face her own uncertain future.
then Carrie meets Keith Gardner at a cancer support group, (her nurse and friend made her join )everything seems brighter. Keith and his loving supportive family are wonderful to Carrie. Then Keith's illness worsens and he knows he can no longer fight off dying. Armed with love of family and friends, Keith chooses to participate in a hospice program, which allows him to remain at home instead of in the hospital. Carrie feels helpless as she watches Keith slip away when she started to care about him so much Keith's courage helps Carrie face her own uncertain future.
February 22, 2015
This book Now You Lay Me Down To Sleep is a great book. Lurlen Mc'daniel is such a great author I enjoy reading her books. One of my favortie books from her is Don't Die My Love , but this book was pretty good. My favortie part in this book was when there at the park and it rains. Where Keith takes Carrie underneath this rock and they just talk and listen to the rain while he plays his guitar. It gives you this heart warming feeling. And over all this was a great book, and I hope move people read it.
July 11, 2010
This is not a very well-written book. It isn't an adult book so it's actually pretty good for pre-teens or kids, BUT it's a very sad story that even the most mature adult would be moved to tears. I cried hard, really really hard... yet it would have been a great book if it would have been better-written. The author should have used some more description. It lacks details.
June 16, 2014
I've always loved McDaniel's books, I just reread this book and fell in love with her all over again. McDaniel's puts so much care into her novels, her books are relatable to many. You can read these books from age 8-80. Cannot express how much I truly love these books.
November 17, 2008
I think this has to be one of my favorite mcdaniel books. If you haven't read it, or you are looking for a book to start off on, I think this is a great pick.
March 10, 2011
I pray my soul to take. And if i should die before i wake .I pray my soul to take.
March 26, 2011
WHY did I read these books? I had to add at least one for the memories, LOL.
May 14, 2021
Loved these books as a child
December 20, 2007
This book is amazing and heart warming.It makes you see and feel how a person with cancer feels.
January 13, 2011
Wonderful but terribly sad book! I finished this book within two days!
Read
June 3, 2017This book wasn't bad but it wasn't exactly spellbinding. Once Keith was re diagnosed and given his time line, I thought the story got pretty boring, so I skimmed until the end.
My biggest question pertains to the relationship between Keith and Carrie. Were they dating? The book starts out with her attraction to him and his seeming attraction to her, but then all that stuff with him goes down and there's really no mention or allusion to that again. Which wouldn't be noteworthy except for the fact that she spends all of her free time with him. I understand the whole, I-know-what-you're-going-through angle, but I wanted more clarification as to which side of the friendship line they ultimately fell on.
My biggest question pertains to the relationship between Keith and Carrie. Were they dating? The book starts out with her attraction to him and his seeming attraction to her, but then all that stuff with him goes down and there's really no mention or allusion to that again. Which wouldn't be noteworthy except for the fact that she spends all of her free time with him. I understand the whole, I-know-what-you're-going-through angle, but I wanted more clarification as to which side of the friendship line they ultimately fell on.
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews