What do you think?
Rate this book
Dumb White Husband
Dumb White Husband vs. the Grocery Store
John is a dumb white husband. That is to say that he loves and cares for his family, is successful in his career, popular around the neighborhood, can dress himself (often without injury) and is capable of reasonable thought. Demographically, however, he functions like a 4-year-old that can't quite master the intricacies of the potty.
It isn't his fault. He studied hard and got a college degree. He works hard and earns a comfortable living. But, like all other dumb white husbands, he leads a dual life; competent member of society by day, helpless male by night, weekends and holidays.
He has served for years as the nervous legal department-approved foil of commercials, TV and movies. And, for this service, we thank him. No one has ever cared to look inside the mind of the dumb white husband - probably for a fear of what we might find - but, if we took a minute to consider it, we may see that he's not as dumb as we all think. But, he probably is.
In this adventure, Dumb White Husband goes to the grocery store.
NOTE: This title is also available as part of the Dumb White Husband collected edition, Dumb White Husband for President (and other stories)
It isn't his fault. He studied hard and got a college degree. He works hard and earns a comfortable living. But, like all other dumb white husbands, he leads a dual life; competent member of society by day, helpless male by night, weekends and holidays.
He has served for years as the nervous legal department-approved foil of commercials, TV and movies. And, for this service, we thank him. No one has ever cared to look inside the mind of the dumb white husband - probably for a fear of what we might find - but, if we took a minute to consider it, we may see that he's not as dumb as we all think. But, he probably is.
In this adventure, Dumb White Husband goes to the grocery store.
NOTE: This title is also available as part of the Dumb White Husband collected edition, Dumb White Husband for President (and other stories)
27 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 25, 2011
203 people are currently reading
224 people want to read
About the author
Benjamin Wallace
67 books400 followersBenjamin Wallace lives in Dallas, Texas where he complains about the heat—a lot.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews
June 13, 2013
I just simply loved this book. If laughing is healthy, as they say, I think this book did a lot for my general health.
Maybe I enjoyed this book so much because I can fully relate to it. My dear, sweet husband (a highly intelligent physicist, albeit with a total lack of common sense) needs two pages of instructions when I send him to buy a bunch of bananas.
My husband, by the way, did not find this book funny. For him the behaviour of the "Dumb White Husband" was normal. And this made me laugh even more.
I'll now buy all the other "Dumb White Husband" books as I might be able to relate to them as well.
Maybe I enjoyed this book so much because I can fully relate to it. My dear, sweet husband (a highly intelligent physicist, albeit with a total lack of common sense) needs two pages of instructions when I send him to buy a bunch of bananas.
My husband, by the way, did not find this book funny. For him the behaviour of the "Dumb White Husband" was normal. And this made me laugh even more.
I'll now buy all the other "Dumb White Husband" books as I might be able to relate to them as well.
April 17, 2012
This book should be named Dumb Husband Period. I have one and he's not white. He's just Old and
Crazy.
Crazy.
May 7, 2013
Okay, the price is right (Free for kindle) right now, the books only 18 pages long. There are a few good chuckles in there so give the guy a break and read his book.
Besides, he moves "...faster than the speed of criticism..."
If you think your failing at passing the daily test of life, take the twenty minutes it takes to read this and you will realize it could be worse.
Three stars, no warnings needed, save you may see this guy when looking in your mirror and if your wife reads it, she'll look at you and snicker. Of course you'll ask why and your sure to hear, "..on, nothing."
Besides, he moves "...faster than the speed of criticism..."
If you think your failing at passing the daily test of life, take the twenty minutes it takes to read this and you will realize it could be worse.
Three stars, no warnings needed, save you may see this guy when looking in your mirror and if your wife reads it, she'll look at you and snicker. Of course you'll ask why and your sure to hear, "..on, nothing."
January 5, 2018
You might be a dumb white husband...
If your style of humor (like mine) includes the fine men from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, this book sounds amusing. It's a very quick read, the tale of a sporadically inept, somewhat unwilling man torn from the comfort and safety of his recliner to go to the dreaded grocery store. This sort of awful thing happens to thousands of innocent men every year, and yet no steps are taken to help this epidemic!
The writing is sound, the delivery acceptable for what it is, but the whole thing reads like a stand up routine that would work better as a visual and spoken bit rather than written. An audio version of it may be more amusing.
If your style of humor (like mine) includes the fine men from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, this book sounds amusing. It's a very quick read, the tale of a sporadically inept, somewhat unwilling man torn from the comfort and safety of his recliner to go to the dreaded grocery store. This sort of awful thing happens to thousands of innocent men every year, and yet no steps are taken to help this epidemic!
The writing is sound, the delivery acceptable for what it is, but the whole thing reads like a stand up routine that would work better as a visual and spoken bit rather than written. An audio version of it may be more amusing.
March 27, 2012
This book was a hoot. I found myself laughing out loud at certain scenes described by the author..in particular the self serve cheeck out. I will def. be checking out the author's other short stories.
February 19, 2017
The title doesn't lie. This book's MC is most definitely a dumb husband who seems to have no idea how grocery stores or grocery runs work.
February 18, 2012
This is a short story that I bought from Amazon for 99 cents. Sue & I got a good laugh from the title alone. At that point, any enjoyment I got from the story would be a bonus!
Yes, it's stereotypical and the plot summary is less-than-gripping (Hubby is persuaded by wifey to make a "quick trip" to the store. Unfortunately, he has just started to watch "the game" on TV. His goal is to get back in time to enjoy as much of the game as possible.) What follows is a often hilarious interpretation of mundane-chore-turned-into-a-thriller. You can derive a lot of nuance from the title alone.
At the end of this Kindle ebook are a couple of samples from two of Mr. Wallace's novels. I've added one to my wish list. Entertaining intro to a previously-unknown author. Who knows? Maybe Amazon got its .99 worth!
Yes, it's stereotypical and the plot summary is less-than-gripping (Hubby is persuaded by wifey to make a "quick trip" to the store. Unfortunately, he has just started to watch "the game" on TV. His goal is to get back in time to enjoy as much of the game as possible.) What follows is a often hilarious interpretation of mundane-chore-turned-into-a-thriller. You can derive a lot of nuance from the title alone.
At the end of this Kindle ebook are a couple of samples from two of Mr. Wallace's novels. I've added one to my wish list. Entertaining intro to a previously-unknown author. Who knows? Maybe Amazon got its .99 worth!
July 14, 2017
There's a little bit of every male, in the dumb white husband. Benjamin Wallace is a keen observer of the human male animal, either that or he's seen me at the self-service checkout at the supermarket!
This is a great little short jaunt.
This is a great little short jaunt.
December 13, 2011
This story is SUPER short, you can read it in 30-an hour max. It was 99 cents and I wasn't mad I spent it on it although I probably won't buy anymore from this author. It was an amusing story that made me laugh at parts...
June 4, 2012
Hilarious! Loved the 16 boxes of pasta. I'm betting the wife actually knew she was going to make him buy the heavy stuff, but waited to text the remainder of the "List". I know I've been guilty of that many times.
April 14, 2015
Dumb White Husband vs. The Grocery Store
Everyone I know that has read the dumb white husband stories have told me how funny they are. I found this one funny but predictable. It was a cute and quick read but I won't be reading anymore of them.
Everyone I know that has read the dumb white husband stories have told me how funny they are. I found this one funny but predictable. It was a cute and quick read but I won't be reading anymore of them.
November 13, 2011
Very funny story. Wish is was longer!!
November 28, 2011
Hilarious and so true.
February 9, 2012
I just read it because it was free and only 18 pages. To sum it up, I felt sorry for the guy, light, kind of amusing and good for a very short break to breeze through.
August 4, 2014
Oh yes I see a little of my husband in this. Cute funny but too short.
March 7, 2012
Funny. Silly. Free on Kindle.
May 30, 2012
As far a as short stories go - this one made me giggle. It was a very easy read, but enjoyable. I look forward to reading other Dumb White Husband tales.
March 19, 2016
Always enjoy books no matter how many pages there are by Benjamin Wallace.
Funny, great characters, good for reading when you need a break from the serious stuff.
Funny, great characters, good for reading when you need a break from the serious stuff.
March 11, 2012
You got to read this! and you got to laugh!
April 1, 2012
Very slight, yes, but it made me smile (and I couldn't help but relate to particular episodes...).
September 14, 2012
Amusing.
January 2, 2019
Laugh out loud
Oh my goodness this short story had be giggling and laughing at a man grocery shopping. The BOXES of spaghetti were my favorite. There are several been there moments in this gem. Read it
Oh my goodness this short story had be giggling and laughing at a man grocery shopping. The BOXES of spaghetti were my favorite. There are several been there moments in this gem. Read it
February 11, 2019
Hilarious
If you like fast paced, entertaining, and quirky short stories, this one has it all. The challenges faced by modern man are no match for John as he battles the obstacles of the grocery store.
If you like fast paced, entertaining, and quirky short stories, this one has it all. The challenges faced by modern man are no match for John as he battles the obstacles of the grocery store.
September 8, 2021
Laugh out loud funny!
Benjamin Wallace has a great imagination and marvelous wit. Both of which of extravagantly displayed in this short story. I know want to read all of the Dad vs books. I highly recommend it.
Read via Kindle Unlimited
Benjamin Wallace has a great imagination and marvelous wit. Both of which of extravagantly displayed in this short story. I know want to read all of the Dad vs books. I highly recommend it.
Read via Kindle Unlimited
January 9, 2018
Review
Dumb White husband vs the grocery store was a funny hilarious short read. Sometimes a little humour is just what you need in your day.
Dumb White husband vs the grocery store was a funny hilarious short read. Sometimes a little humour is just what you need in your day.
May 25, 2018
Absolutely hilarious!! Literally laugh out loud smack my head funny
June 23, 2018
Bloody hilarious
I can so relate to the number of times this has happened to me 😂 So much fun reading another’s plight all the while putting my face in the picture instead
I can so relate to the number of times this has happened to me 😂 So much fun reading another’s plight all the while putting my face in the picture instead
July 19, 2018
Very cute
It’s a funny little short story and a great read to just sink into. I love this author because he has a great humorous side to his work.
It’s a funny little short story and a great read to just sink into. I love this author because he has a great humorous side to his work.
December 11, 2018
Zany
Funny, funny, funny, and relatable to every man on earth. You won't stop reading until you have read every last word.
Funny, funny, funny, and relatable to every man on earth. You won't stop reading until you have read every last word.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews