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The Princess & the Penis
A beautiful, chaste, and completely naive princess encounters a strange lump in her mattress. The lump soon morphs into a shape familiar to everyone but her, triggering her curiosity and her father's greatest fears. He frantically tries to intervene, but having a large phantom phallus in a curious maiden's bed is never a good combination.
33 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 6, 2010
199 people are currently reading
1287 people want to read
About the author
R.J. Silver
4 books68 followersMy name is RJ. I'm a man who likes to poke fun at my own gender through short novellas on sex, romance, and relationships. People ask me why I write. Like all men, I get in a lot of trouble with my wife. When she's angry, and I'm hiding from her, writing is the one thing I can do that doesn't make any noise.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 651 reviews
June 11, 2023
Review An innocent and beautiful princess, her father, the king, is determined to keep her pure until he can get a handsome husband for her, a queen who is just an adjunct to her husband, two aged aunts and a frog. It sounds like every pantomime you ever went to as a kid, right? (Unless you are American and missed out on these) Or perhaps every fairy story you ever read?
The handsome prince turns out to be like the one in Shrek, full of himself, the frog when kissed turns into the true prince who is as good as he is handsome. The two aged aunts are just like pantomime dames, salacious and witty. But the frog is a penis, a disembodied penis until kissed and then it becomes Prince Longwood of Schlongdia. The "innocent" princess and the prince get married and live happily ever after, and are very well-rested needing at least three naps a day.
BUT, this is also social commentary on the ridiculousness of what we call innocence. What has innocence, meaning not guilty, got to do with ignorance of sex? Why would we want to keep a teenage girl ignorant of it, why would we not want her to have the pleasure of it? (She's going to anyway, so why instill guilt?) It is, the author says, because men want to think that their penis is the biggest and preferably the only one she has ever seen - and will see (so she can't compare!). Why is sex such a big taboo that only grown-ups, married ones at that, are allowed to discuss it and then only using euphemisms?
The moral of this story seems to be, there's nothing like a nice big dick to keep a girl happy, and it's even better when attached to a man. Read it free here Pic of disembodied 'penis' .
__________
Just a thought Pantomime season. I was just thinking this book would make such a great one. Lots of fairy tale scenes and a traditional plot. Plenty of scope for the sisters as drag artists making jokes full of innuendo the adults get but not the children. The only thing missing would be the handsome prince in tights being as he's penis.
The handsome prince turns out to be like the one in Shrek, full of himself, the frog when kissed turns into the true prince who is as good as he is handsome. The two aged aunts are just like pantomime dames, salacious and witty. But the frog is a penis, a disembodied penis until kissed and then it becomes Prince Longwood of Schlongdia. The "innocent" princess and the prince get married and live happily ever after, and are very well-rested needing at least three naps a day.
BUT, this is also social commentary on the ridiculousness of what we call innocence. What has innocence, meaning not guilty, got to do with ignorance of sex? Why would we want to keep a teenage girl ignorant of it, why would we not want her to have the pleasure of it? (She's going to anyway, so why instill guilt?) It is, the author says, because men want to think that their penis is the biggest and preferably the only one she has ever seen - and will see (so she can't compare!). Why is sex such a big taboo that only grown-ups, married ones at that, are allowed to discuss it and then only using euphemisms?
The moral of this story seems to be, there's nothing like a nice big dick to keep a girl happy, and it's even better when attached to a man. Read it free here Pic of disembodied 'penis' .
__________
Just a thought Pantomime season. I was just thinking this book would make such a great one. Lots of fairy tale scenes and a traditional plot. Plenty of scope for the sisters as drag artists making jokes full of innuendo the adults get but not the children. The only thing missing would be the handsome prince in tights being as he's penis.
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April 3, 2016
The Princess & the Penis is by R.J. Silver. This is my first book by Mr. Silver. I was hearing all kinds of chatter regarding this one and couldn’t resist investigating on my own. I’m so glad I did. This is a cute, silly, sexy little adult fairy tale and I loved it!
Amalia is a kind and loving princess who lives in the Kingdom of Westwich. She loves to spend her time helping others, working in soup kitchens, visiting the sick, doing anything she can to aid those in need. Her father, King Norwood, loves his daughter and has raised her to be completely pure. She knows nothing of what happens between a man and a woman, in fact it is forbidden for anyone to ever speak of such things to her.
Everyone was quite shocked when Amalia started complaining of a lump in her mattress that hardened when she touched it and that had two apples on the bottom of it. She had no idea what it was and her parents were mortified. The King tried everything to rid the phantom phallus from his daughter’s bed, but nothing worked.
King Norwood’s beloved kingdom was poor. He wanted to find the perfect husband for his daughter, one that would be not only a perfect match for her but could help his kingdom as well. So after several suitors, he has selected Prince Rupert. He is due to arrive any day now so he must somehow get rid of the mysterious appendage in his daughter’s bed.
This is a short, silly and oh so entertaining little book. It most definitely made me smile and I’m so glad I picked it up.
Amalia is a kind and loving princess who lives in the Kingdom of Westwich. She loves to spend her time helping others, working in soup kitchens, visiting the sick, doing anything she can to aid those in need. Her father, King Norwood, loves his daughter and has raised her to be completely pure. She knows nothing of what happens between a man and a woman, in fact it is forbidden for anyone to ever speak of such things to her.
Everyone was quite shocked when Amalia started complaining of a lump in her mattress that hardened when she touched it and that had two apples on the bottom of it. She had no idea what it was and her parents were mortified. The King tried everything to rid the phantom phallus from his daughter’s bed, but nothing worked.
King Norwood’s beloved kingdom was poor. He wanted to find the perfect husband for his daughter, one that would be not only a perfect match for her but could help his kingdom as well. So after several suitors, he has selected Prince Rupert. He is due to arrive any day now so he must somehow get rid of the mysterious appendage in his daughter’s bed.
This is a short, silly and oh so entertaining little book. It most definitely made me smile and I’m so glad I picked it up.
February 12, 2017
This book is gold.
It has a penis in it. A wonderful penis that isn't attached to a body. If you love penises as much as I do, go read it pls. Even if you don't like penises, you should read this bc it is hella fucking hilarious.
Pls read it. It's a wonderful fairytale and I loved this. It's free and super short.
It has a penis in it. A wonderful penis that isn't attached to a body. If you love penises as much as I do, go read it pls. Even if you don't like penises, you should read this bc it is hella fucking hilarious.
“Well, it was long and hard like this, except much thicker. And it was bigger at the top, like a mushroom. And here, at the bottom, it had two large apples, one on either side.”
“I simply rolled over and put it between my legs, where it fit perfectly and felt quite nice.”
“When I stroked it, it squirmed and moaned and snuggled up to me just like my pet ferret used to do when I rubbed him between the ears.”
Pls read it. It's a wonderful fairytale and I loved this. It's free and super short.
February 9, 2016
The Princess and The Penis by RJ Silver
After reading about 14,952 romance novels, a few things become clear. No matter what the story is about--a duke, a werewolf, a football player, a Carpathian vampire, a steampunky swashbuckler, a baker, a lawyer, a candlestick maker, or even an Orca shapeshifter--the real star of the show is actually...the penis. Yes, this is in fact true. It gets tons of attention, pages and pages of highly detailed description, and often saves the day.
If you have one male hero and one female heroine, then the star is one penis. If you have a slash novel (M/M), then you've got two. If you have a kinky erotica, there could be dozens, God help us. And if you have an alien or animal breed or whatever, you might find barbs or double-headed monsters, etc etc. The sky is really the limit. And by the end of the book, you've become intimately familiar with this star...its shape, size, texture, taste and performance ability.
Now imagine that you want to write a satire about romance. Why not eliminate the middle man and get right down to business? Just make the "hero" a penis. A big ole penis who romances a princess.
Well, hell...that is the most freakin' brilliant, clever, witty, and quirky premise for a story I've read in a very long time.
Not only has RJ Silver (who is a man, by the way) come up with a fabulous premise for this story, he has executed it perfectly. This book has everything...awesome cover art (look at her face! hee hee), snappy dialogue, a kind-hearted princess who loves to cuddle her new best bud just like her pet ferret, a flabbergasted king and queen who are stymied by their daughter's new "friend," an evil underendowed villain, great sidekicks (the aunties) for even more comedic relief, and finally, a true hero....a giant penis who has been bewitched, and only a kiss can set him free. (And yes, the princess gives the giant penis a kiss! Naughty, naughty girl!).
I'm not sure what RJ Silver has in mind for an encore, but I, for one, will be reading it.
Grade: A
Delighted with this wickedly delicious satire,
Penelope
Merged review:
The Princess and The Penis by RJ Silver
After reading about 14,952 romance novels, a few things become clear. No matter what the story is about--a duke, a werewolf, a football player, a Carpathian vampire, a steampunky swashbuckler, a baker, a lawyer, a candlestick maker, or even an Orca shapeshifter--the real star of the show is actually...the penis. Yes, this is in fact true. It gets tons of attention, pages and pages of highly detailed description, and often saves the day.
If you have one male hero and one female heroine, then the star is one penis. If you have a slash novel (M/M), then you've got two. If you have a kinky erotica, there could be dozens, God help us. And if you have an alien or animal breed or whatever, you might find barbs or double-headed monsters, etc etc. The sky is really the limit. And by the end of the book, you've become intimately familiar with this star...its shape, size, texture, taste and performance ability.
Now imagine that you want to write a satire about romance. Why not eliminate the middle man and get right down to business? Just make the "hero" a penis. A big ole penis who romances a princess.
Well, hell...that is the most freakin' brilliant, clever, witty, and quirky premise for a story I've read in a very long time.
Not only has RJ Silver (who is a man, by the way) come up with a fabulous premise for this story, he has executed it perfectly. This book has everything...awesome cover art (look at her face! hee hee), snappy dialogue, a kind-hearted princess who loves to cuddle her new best bud just like her pet ferret, a flabbergasted king and queen who are stymied by their daughter's new "friend," an evil underendowed villain, great sidekicks (the aunties) for even more comedic relief, and finally, a true hero....a giant penis who has been bewitched, and only a kiss can set him free. (And yes, the princess gives the giant penis a kiss! Naughty, naughty girl!).
I'm not sure what RJ Silver has in mind for an encore, but I, for one, will be reading it.
Grade: A
Delighted with this wickedly delicious satire,
Penelope
After reading about 14,952 romance novels, a few things become clear. No matter what the story is about--a duke, a werewolf, a football player, a Carpathian vampire, a steampunky swashbuckler, a baker, a lawyer, a candlestick maker, or even an Orca shapeshifter--the real star of the show is actually...the penis. Yes, this is in fact true. It gets tons of attention, pages and pages of highly detailed description, and often saves the day.
If you have one male hero and one female heroine, then the star is one penis. If you have a slash novel (M/M), then you've got two. If you have a kinky erotica, there could be dozens, God help us. And if you have an alien or animal breed or whatever, you might find barbs or double-headed monsters, etc etc. The sky is really the limit. And by the end of the book, you've become intimately familiar with this star...its shape, size, texture, taste and performance ability.
Now imagine that you want to write a satire about romance. Why not eliminate the middle man and get right down to business? Just make the "hero" a penis. A big ole penis who romances a princess.
Well, hell...that is the most freakin' brilliant, clever, witty, and quirky premise for a story I've read in a very long time.
Not only has RJ Silver (who is a man, by the way) come up with a fabulous premise for this story, he has executed it perfectly. This book has everything...awesome cover art (look at her face! hee hee), snappy dialogue, a kind-hearted princess who loves to cuddle her new best bud just like her pet ferret, a flabbergasted king and queen who are stymied by their daughter's new "friend," an evil underendowed villain, great sidekicks (the aunties) for even more comedic relief, and finally, a true hero....a giant penis who has been bewitched, and only a kiss can set him free. (And yes, the princess gives the giant penis a kiss! Naughty, naughty girl!).
I'm not sure what RJ Silver has in mind for an encore, but I, for one, will be reading it.
Grade: A
Delighted with this wickedly delicious satire,
Penelope
Merged review:
The Princess and The Penis by RJ Silver
After reading about 14,952 romance novels, a few things become clear. No matter what the story is about--a duke, a werewolf, a football player, a Carpathian vampire, a steampunky swashbuckler, a baker, a lawyer, a candlestick maker, or even an Orca shapeshifter--the real star of the show is actually...the penis. Yes, this is in fact true. It gets tons of attention, pages and pages of highly detailed description, and often saves the day.
If you have one male hero and one female heroine, then the star is one penis. If you have a slash novel (M/M), then you've got two. If you have a kinky erotica, there could be dozens, God help us. And if you have an alien or animal breed or whatever, you might find barbs or double-headed monsters, etc etc. The sky is really the limit. And by the end of the book, you've become intimately familiar with this star...its shape, size, texture, taste and performance ability.
Now imagine that you want to write a satire about romance. Why not eliminate the middle man and get right down to business? Just make the "hero" a penis. A big ole penis who romances a princess.
Well, hell...that is the most freakin' brilliant, clever, witty, and quirky premise for a story I've read in a very long time.
Not only has RJ Silver (who is a man, by the way) come up with a fabulous premise for this story, he has executed it perfectly. This book has everything...awesome cover art (look at her face! hee hee), snappy dialogue, a kind-hearted princess who loves to cuddle her new best bud just like her pet ferret, a flabbergasted king and queen who are stymied by their daughter's new "friend," an evil underendowed villain, great sidekicks (the aunties) for even more comedic relief, and finally, a true hero....a giant penis who has been bewitched, and only a kiss can set him free. (And yes, the princess gives the giant penis a kiss! Naughty, naughty girl!).
I'm not sure what RJ Silver has in mind for an encore, but I, for one, will be reading it.
Grade: A
Delighted with this wickedly delicious satire,
Penelope
November 25, 2019
A funny little story, a reinterpretation of The Princess and the Frog. Instead of a frog there is a disembodied penis that needs to be loved. I read it like a cautionary tale against sex being considered a taboo Subject by parents. Sex is an important subject that needs to be discussed with our children. They will all have sex sooner or later, probably sooner in this fast-forward world so it is better to hear the right information firstly from the people that should love them most.
November 12, 2014
Um.
For a Kindle Freebie, this was cute.
Things to know before you read it:
NOT A SEXY-TALE
See, I thought with the title and all, this would be like a funny little erotica.
Nope.
No sex. Just a fairytale about a disembodied penis.
And that's not a bad thing! I never go into these weird little stories thinking that I'm going to get to read something hot.
So.
Food for thought, nothing more.
NOT HYSTERICALLY FUNNY
I see lots of OhMyGodIPeedMyPants reviews, but to me?
Ehhhh.
I thought it was good silly fun, but not once did I laugh out loud (aka LOL). I was expecting to double over with laughter, and it didn't happen.
I did, however, smile quite a bit. So, don't go into it thinking you're getting comedy gold, and you should be fine.
NOT BADLY WRITTEN
Here's where the author took me by surprise...
The story?
Well, first of all, there was a story!
I know, right?!
And second, it made sense!
Or at least as much as a fairytale about an invisible penis can make sense...
It was kind of adorable, and I found myself *rooting for the characters to get their Happily Ever After.
I honestly didn't think I would care, but I did.
So there.
If you get the chance, check this one out. I certainly wouldn't mind reading more by this author.
*Pun intended
For a Kindle Freebie, this was cute.
Things to know before you read it:
NOT A SEXY-TALE
See, I thought with the title and all, this would be like a funny little erotica.
Nope.
No sex. Just a fairytale about a disembodied penis.
And that's not a bad thing! I never go into these weird little stories thinking that I'm going to get to read something hot.
So.
Food for thought, nothing more.
NOT HYSTERICALLY FUNNY
I see lots of OhMyGodIPeedMyPants reviews, but to me?
Ehhhh.
I thought it was good silly fun, but not once did I laugh out loud (aka LOL). I was expecting to double over with laughter, and it didn't happen.
I did, however, smile quite a bit. So, don't go into it thinking you're getting comedy gold, and you should be fine.
NOT BADLY WRITTEN
Here's where the author took me by surprise...
The story?
Well, first of all, there was a story!
I know, right?!
And second, it made sense!
Or at least as much as a fairytale about an invisible penis can make sense...
It was kind of adorable, and I found myself *rooting for the characters to get their Happily Ever After.
I honestly didn't think I would care, but I did.
So there.
If you get the chance, check this one out. I certainly wouldn't mind reading more by this author.
*Pun intended
December 22, 2014
Guys, I'm giving a book named "The Princess & the Penis" four stars...
The Princess & the Penis...
The Princess & the Penis...
AND THE PENIS
Oh my god...
An educational fairytale about a Princess and a Phantom Phallus
The Princess has lived in ignorance her whole life saving her body and soul for the chosen one, a handsome and conveniently rich Prince who'll save the poor Kingdom. One day, the princess starts complaining about something visiting her every night and both the King and Queen realize it's a magical penis, the very thing they've tried to protect her from all her life.
"...this penis in your bed is obviously not of this world."
"Seeing as it's only a penis," said Aunt Ingrid.
"With no man attached to it," said Aunt Leila.
"Wich frankly doesn't sound that bad," said Aunt Ingrid. "Might even be a huge market for that sort of thing."
I know this isn't meant for kids but I think it'd be an amazing way to learn about the facts of life with a story like this, my experience was way too traumatic ^^ Some of the lines here were so funny, I couldn't stop laughing. If you're not for sensitivities, you need to read this now.
Prince Longwood.
*____*
This short story is free on Amazon right now. Thanks to Erica, Tanya and Cathryn for recommending it.
The Princess & the Penis...
The Princess & the Penis...
AND THE PENIS
Oh my god...
An educational fairytale about a Princess and a Phantom Phallus
The Princess has lived in ignorance her whole life saving her body and soul for the chosen one, a handsome and conveniently rich Prince who'll save the poor Kingdom. One day, the princess starts complaining about something visiting her every night and both the King and Queen realize it's a magical penis, the very thing they've tried to protect her from all her life.
"...this penis in your bed is obviously not of this world."
"Seeing as it's only a penis," said Aunt Ingrid.
"With no man attached to it," said Aunt Leila.
"Wich frankly doesn't sound that bad," said Aunt Ingrid. "Might even be a huge market for that sort of thing."
I know this isn't meant for kids but I think it'd be an amazing way to learn about the facts of life with a story like this, my experience was way too traumatic ^^ Some of the lines here were so funny, I couldn't stop laughing. If you're not for sensitivities, you need to read this now.
Prince Longwood.
*____*
This short story is free on Amazon right now. Thanks to Erica, Tanya and Cathryn for recommending it.
Want to read
April 7, 2015
FREE on Amazon US today (3/18/2015)
BLURB:
A beautiful, chaste, and completely naive princess encounters a strange lump in her mattress. The lump soon morphs into a shape familiar to everyone but her, triggering her curiosity and her father's greatest fears. He frantically tries to intervene, but having a large phantom phallus in a curious maiden's bed is never a good combination.
http://www.amazon.com/Princess-Penis-...
FREEBIES are often good for MORE than one day, I have gathered all my FREEBIES on a special shelf: Kindle-freebies (currently over 370 books)
https://www.goodreads.com/review/list...
July 25, 2022
"Well, it was long and hard like this, except much thicker. And it was bigger at the top, like a mushroom. And here, at the bottom, it had two large apples, one on either side."
I read this due to a recommendation from a GR friend, and it has came about exactly at the right time, it would seem! This was essentially a bit of jolly nonsense, but actually, when you read further, it has some important sex education for one to take away.
This is a retelling of The Princess and the Pea, but with the added addition of a rather large penis, that has taken homage in the Princesses bed. Now, the Princess has never been taught about sex, as her parents have made the grave mistake of believing it makes a woman unpure, therefore dangerous.
Amalia the Princess is known to everyone as a generous individual, that loves to spend time helping other people. So, it was a terrible shock for her parents when Amalia reported that there was a strange lump in her mattress that appeared to respond to touch by growing in size. Obviously, the King went to enormous lengths to get rid of this apparent monstrosity from his daughter's bed!
The King was interested in obtaining an ideal Husband for his daughter, but she was far too busy making regular visits to her bed, enjoying what this penis had to offer.
I thought this book was entertaining, but it also stresses the importance of being honest with your children from the start, about sex, and all that comes with it. (Pun intended)
I read this due to a recommendation from a GR friend, and it has came about exactly at the right time, it would seem! This was essentially a bit of jolly nonsense, but actually, when you read further, it has some important sex education for one to take away.
This is a retelling of The Princess and the Pea, but with the added addition of a rather large penis, that has taken homage in the Princesses bed. Now, the Princess has never been taught about sex, as her parents have made the grave mistake of believing it makes a woman unpure, therefore dangerous.
Amalia the Princess is known to everyone as a generous individual, that loves to spend time helping other people. So, it was a terrible shock for her parents when Amalia reported that there was a strange lump in her mattress that appeared to respond to touch by growing in size. Obviously, the King went to enormous lengths to get rid of this apparent monstrosity from his daughter's bed!
The King was interested in obtaining an ideal Husband for his daughter, but she was far too busy making regular visits to her bed, enjoying what this penis had to offer.
I thought this book was entertaining, but it also stresses the importance of being honest with your children from the start, about sex, and all that comes with it. (Pun intended)
May 25, 2017
A funny, cute and silly read! It's Free right now at Amazon here is the link: http://www.amazon.com/Princess-Penis-...
October 23, 2014
4.5 ***Hilarious** Stars!!!***
OMG...I haven't laughed that hard in a long time....this was 33 pages of pure Awesomeness!!!..Highly recommend it...
***Free on Smashwords and Amazon***
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
OMG...I haven't laughed that hard in a long time....this was 33 pages of pure Awesomeness!!!..Highly recommend it...
***Free on Smashwords and Amazon***
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
May 9, 2022
This has been the most difficult book I’ve read in some time. It’s the kind of book that causes me to shout at spurned lovers when they intrude upon my meditations (i.e. she walks in while I’m puzzling over certain narrative intricacies involving a mythical kingdom where all men are extremely well endowed), causing me to turn and spew hateful words like the caustic fluids burped up by Jeff Goldblum in ‘The Fly’ (i.e. producing a mixture of saliva and stomach acid to percolate through and dissolve organic bonds within a cheap cardboard partition packed with a Krispy Kreme payload, then using your long mouth parts to give it all a sugary suck job.) “Not NOW, Sasha! My GOD.” Tongue battering my clenched teeth and forcing spittle between the cracks. Eyes large and bloodshot from fitful nights spent trapped within the fiendish semantic snares laid out by R.J. Silver. Nails pushed back into their bloody quick by the deep, multi-layered allegories threaded through the text. Ceremonial dagger acting as bookmark. Sasha, perturbed from months of being ignored, and perhaps further incensed by this sudden outburst, ripostes; “I hope you get hit by a church van you filthy minge eating bitch!” At which point I bolt upright, position the dagger pointy end first, and recite pagan ritual lines from the hit movie ‘The Craft’; "It is better that you should rush upon this blade than enter the circle with fear in you heart. How do you enter?” And she, biting her lip in the way that always drives me crazy, replies; “With perfect love and perfect trust.” Which means I’m all but powerless when I say; “As above, so below.” Then proceed to make out with her until we’re both raw nerves and animal lust, engaging in Dionysian rites involving wine, blue lotus, mutually inverted cunnilingus, and blood letting, until the apartment resembles the collaborative efforts of Elizabeth Báthory and Jackson Pollock.
Afterwards, spooning on a raft of stained mattress in a sea of coital devastation. She rolls over to face me. Running her lips over the emerald skull decanter and smiling. “So what’s this book you’ve been studying all these months? What’s it about?” She asked.
“It’s really hard to explain.” I say, sitting up and repositioning the Chekhov’s Giant Glass Hookah. “Imagine if you were in a bed and a strange topological anomaly continued to intrude on your, like, torporial ergonomicies.”
“You’re making up words again.”
“No, like, this deformity is totally fucking with your sleep. It represents the creative urge. A primordial god. Eros. Passion. Rising against the inertia of rote existence, against the uniformity of the sheets. Like, you know what I mean? It’s obviously symbolic. It’s your creative/destructive side, but you’re utterly confused by its appearance. It has been totally alienated by the efforts of your monomaniacal father. He has kept you ignorant of it your entire life. Because he’s afraid of it. But subconsciously you’ve realized it, and now this thing is sabotaging your slumber by pressing firmly against your ass crack like it really wants in there.”
“A hump in a bed. Jabbing you in the ass. Got it.”
“Not exactly a hump. Like, okay, the princess in the story rubs on it and discovers that it grows, right?”
“It.. grows...” Sasha nods and swigs absinthe.
“Yea, and it has the head of a mushroom, which, to me, represent’s man’s various attempts to commune with the Logos by eating P. Cubensis. That’s really ancient okay? Attempting to interface with the divine through ingestion of substances. Taking these psychedelics in order to put both hands on this immense thing and just, like, work it. Okay, it’s at the end of this long shaft. The shaft is really girthy. And at the base there are two apples. The apples symbolize the forbidden fruit in the biblical story, right? Like, trying to hammer home the dangers of knowledge, that’s what that story is all about, right? Hubris! But, what’s the second apple, I asked myself... and here’s what I think it means; in order for us to be in a non-terminating relationship with our environment and our fellow apes, (i.e. to enter into a closed loop economy which is self sustaining) we must temper our godlike intelligence with commensurate wisdom. THAT’s the other apple, and the great length of the shaft represents our long and arduous journey to comprehending the Logos.”
“I mean...” Sasha grunts, now sitting up to partake of Chekhov’s Giant Glass Hookah. “It sounds like a dick, Jen.”
“What?”
“Like a big ‘ole cock and balls.” She says, making jacking movements.
“You’re such a child, Sasha. Look, okay, she keeps telling her parents about this, but they still want to obfuscate. They’re tyrannical. They represent the extremes of order. Stagnation and tyranny. They’re scared to death she may get in touch with this thing. Stroke it and nurture it until it’s fully engorged, pulsing with hot blood, then put it between her legs and embrace the wildness. She hasn’t realized it could be a source of warmth, or that SHE is also able to reconfigure HER topologies to accommodate this new thing. She’s too focused on the bed+hump system. Synthesis requires her inclusion. Change comes from within, right?”
“Do you even hear yourself?”
“Fuck you! Just listen! Things keep escalating and her father is looking for the culprit behind it. Wondering if it’s magic or even a demon. Don’t you see the parallels in the history of creative expression? So they’ve got her sprinkling holy tinctures on it and everything. But you know what? She discovers that she likes the hump. She doesn’t WANT to banish it. She’s to be wed to this Prince that she comes to despise. See where I’m going? Society is trying to force her to conform, trying to get her to bend everything toward order again. But she won’t. She starts taking frequent naps. Because this thing in her bed makes her feel so good. Her face is flushed and she’s panting and she, like, just can’t get enough of it, right?”
“Sounds like she’s having herself a good time...”
“Why’re you smirking like that? God, Sasha! Why are you always like this?!”
“The Princess & The Penis.” She muses aloud while turning the book over in her hand. “Cute.”
Pulling my panties back on and standing, I scream; “This is over! You and me are finished! Get the fuck out!” To emphasize the point I viciously toss the hookah into the shotgun hanging on my wall.
Afterwards, spooning on a raft of stained mattress in a sea of coital devastation. She rolls over to face me. Running her lips over the emerald skull decanter and smiling. “So what’s this book you’ve been studying all these months? What’s it about?” She asked.
“It’s really hard to explain.” I say, sitting up and repositioning the Chekhov’s Giant Glass Hookah. “Imagine if you were in a bed and a strange topological anomaly continued to intrude on your, like, torporial ergonomicies.”
“You’re making up words again.”
“No, like, this deformity is totally fucking with your sleep. It represents the creative urge. A primordial god. Eros. Passion. Rising against the inertia of rote existence, against the uniformity of the sheets. Like, you know what I mean? It’s obviously symbolic. It’s your creative/destructive side, but you’re utterly confused by its appearance. It has been totally alienated by the efforts of your monomaniacal father. He has kept you ignorant of it your entire life. Because he’s afraid of it. But subconsciously you’ve realized it, and now this thing is sabotaging your slumber by pressing firmly against your ass crack like it really wants in there.”
“A hump in a bed. Jabbing you in the ass. Got it.”
“Not exactly a hump. Like, okay, the princess in the story rubs on it and discovers that it grows, right?”
“It.. grows...” Sasha nods and swigs absinthe.
“Yea, and it has the head of a mushroom, which, to me, represent’s man’s various attempts to commune with the Logos by eating P. Cubensis. That’s really ancient okay? Attempting to interface with the divine through ingestion of substances. Taking these psychedelics in order to put both hands on this immense thing and just, like, work it. Okay, it’s at the end of this long shaft. The shaft is really girthy. And at the base there are two apples. The apples symbolize the forbidden fruit in the biblical story, right? Like, trying to hammer home the dangers of knowledge, that’s what that story is all about, right? Hubris! But, what’s the second apple, I asked myself... and here’s what I think it means; in order for us to be in a non-terminating relationship with our environment and our fellow apes, (i.e. to enter into a closed loop economy which is self sustaining) we must temper our godlike intelligence with commensurate wisdom. THAT’s the other apple, and the great length of the shaft represents our long and arduous journey to comprehending the Logos.”
“I mean...” Sasha grunts, now sitting up to partake of Chekhov’s Giant Glass Hookah. “It sounds like a dick, Jen.”
“What?”
“Like a big ‘ole cock and balls.” She says, making jacking movements.
“You’re such a child, Sasha. Look, okay, she keeps telling her parents about this, but they still want to obfuscate. They’re tyrannical. They represent the extremes of order. Stagnation and tyranny. They’re scared to death she may get in touch with this thing. Stroke it and nurture it until it’s fully engorged, pulsing with hot blood, then put it between her legs and embrace the wildness. She hasn’t realized it could be a source of warmth, or that SHE is also able to reconfigure HER topologies to accommodate this new thing. She’s too focused on the bed+hump system. Synthesis requires her inclusion. Change comes from within, right?”
“Do you even hear yourself?”
“Fuck you! Just listen! Things keep escalating and her father is looking for the culprit behind it. Wondering if it’s magic or even a demon. Don’t you see the parallels in the history of creative expression? So they’ve got her sprinkling holy tinctures on it and everything. But you know what? She discovers that she likes the hump. She doesn’t WANT to banish it. She’s to be wed to this Prince that she comes to despise. See where I’m going? Society is trying to force her to conform, trying to get her to bend everything toward order again. But she won’t. She starts taking frequent naps. Because this thing in her bed makes her feel so good. Her face is flushed and she’s panting and she, like, just can’t get enough of it, right?”
“Sounds like she’s having herself a good time...”
“Why’re you smirking like that? God, Sasha! Why are you always like this?!”
“The Princess & The Penis.” She muses aloud while turning the book over in her hand. “Cute.”
Pulling my panties back on and standing, I scream; “This is over! You and me are finished! Get the fuck out!” To emphasize the point I viciously toss the hookah into the shotgun hanging on my wall.
November 6, 2014
A mock fairytale.... with a freestanding penis? Don't mind if I do!
Buddy-read with the delightful Kat coming to a theatre near you in November 2014!
5 I-am-dying-laughing Stars
Penis. Penis. PENIS. Penis. PENIS!!
Did I just five star a fairytale novelization of "the Penis game"? Yes, yes I did!! This is an amazing pick me up story....
If you are feeling a little down: Read This Story!
If you like laughing your ass off: Read This Story!
If you have the mental maturity of a teenage boy: Read This Story!
Just go DO IT, already! You won't be disappointed.
This short is free, hilarious AND chalk FULL of sexual innuendos!!
March 27, 2016
A perfect adult fairytale
Princess Amalia was the purest princess ever. She had been protected from anything having to do with men. That was before she found a lump in her royal bed.
The aunts in this story are so funny. This is a really cute story.
There are a lot of little truths in here. Quite a fun read.
Princess Amalia was the purest princess ever. She had been protected from anything having to do with men. That was before she found a lump in her royal bed.
The aunts in this story are so funny. This is a really cute story.
There are a lot of little truths in here. Quite a fun read.
March 24, 2015
Type: Short Story
POV: Third Person
Rating: 5 gleaming Golden Cocks!
Princess Amalia was the kind hearted daughter of King Norwood and Queen Isabella of the small Kingdom of Westwich. She was sheltered by her father since young age from the temptation of the opposite sex by depriving her of anything related to man. She was also betrothed to Prince Rupert of the prosperous Kingdom of Arginy
One day she found s a lump on her bed that had been disturbing her slumber.
Thus began her journey of discovering what this lump was.
Along the way her Aunt Ingrid and Aunt Leila helped with enlightening her of what the lump usually did or didn’t. The more she learned, the more she knew the lump was more than meet the eyes.
This book is definitely one of the best short story I've read so far!
It got me laughing from start to finish with its quirky and witty innuendos. And the author is a man, so you'll get man's perspective of dirty humor - which is the kind of dirty humor that's appealing to me.
It's short, fun and made you wonder what's going to happened after Amalia's each new "discoveries". Grab this one if you need a quick dirty laugh.
POV: Third Person
Rating: 5 gleaming Golden Cocks!
Princess Amalia was the kind hearted daughter of King Norwood and Queen Isabella of the small Kingdom of Westwich. She was sheltered by her father since young age from the temptation of the opposite sex by depriving her of anything related to man. She was also betrothed to Prince Rupert of the prosperous Kingdom of Arginy
One day she found s a lump on her bed that had been disturbing her slumber.
“Well, it was long and hard like this, except much thicker. And it was bigger at the top, like a mushroom. And here, at the bottom, it had two large apples, one on either side.”
Thus began her journey of discovering what this lump was.
“Don’t you see? Whatever this thing is, it needn’t be a pain in my rear when it can instead be a pleasure on my front.”
Along the way her Aunt Ingrid and Aunt Leila helped with enlightening her of what the lump usually did or didn’t. The more she learned, the more she knew the lump was more than meet the eyes.
This book is definitely one of the best short story I've read so far!
It got me laughing from start to finish with its quirky and witty innuendos. And the author is a man, so you'll get man's perspective of dirty humor - which is the kind of dirty humor that's appealing to me.
It's short, fun and made you wonder what's going to happened after Amalia's each new "discoveries". Grab this one if you need a quick dirty laugh.
April 10, 2017
This!Book!
So, we have a princess and a penis, of course. The princess has an overprotecting father and the penis is first described as a lump in the mattress by the most innocent girl.
"The omen here is that your daughter is putting a giant, erect penis between her legs and says it feels good. Now are you going to let me talk to her about this or not?"
"The little creature isn't evil. It's warm and gentle and loving. Why, it felt as wonderful between my breasts as it did between my legs."
The Princess & the Penis is a very good book for parents. Let it be a tale for those who seek to overprotect their children. Things rarely turn out as their parents want them to, and ignorance can do a lot more damage than knowledge.
P.S. Prince Longwood.
July 31, 2017
Awww it's like a fairytale story... with a PHANTOM PHALLUS! *snickers*
January 23, 2015
*** 4.5 Hysterical Stars ***'
... It's been a while since a book made me laugh out loud. You have nothing to lose (but a little bit of time). Try it ....please !! Or don't. It's your call.
Free on smashword: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Amazon Freebie Link: http://amzn.com/B005ORR6HE
... It's been a while since a book made me laugh out loud. You have nothing to lose (but a little bit of time). Try it ....please !! Or don't. It's your call.
Free on smashword: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
Amazon Freebie Link: http://amzn.com/B005ORR6HE
July 21, 2013
4 Silly Stars!! Fun wicked spin on the princess and her ‘prince charming’…I’ll take one please!
Take this story for what it’s worth and you’ll enjoy it! A really cute ‘Once Upon a Time’! Lots of suggestive witty dialogue, some craziness, a good bit of laugh out loud fun, that will make 30 minutes or so of your day, quite entertaining!
Amalia’s mother and her crazy aunts had some of the best moments, they could foresee the future!
“That’s why we’re telling you this,” said the queen. “Despite what you said this morning about it not being evil, the penis in your bed is obviously not of this world.
“Seeing as it’s only a penis,” said Aunt Ingrid. “With no man attached to it,” said Aunt Leila.
“Which frankly doesn’t sound that bad,” said Aunt Ingrid. “Might even be a huge market for that sort of thing.”
Who knew?!?! Frankly I think 'it' should have been called Prince Bob!!!
Frogs are so yesterday! Enjoy!
July 27, 2016
A hilarious tongue-in-cheek version of The Princess and the Pea.
Not appropriate for kids.
Princess Amalia cannot sleep. There is a lump in his bed and she wakes up with a pain in her rump.
And it has a peculiar form...
Princess Amalia is a sheltered youth. She has no notion of improper actions. Strangely enough, she wants to do improper actions with the lump in her bed.
The king is outraged, he only wants to get rid of this "phantom phallus". His father orders to change her mattress, her bed frame, he calls the doctor, the wizard... but not suck luck.
And her fiancé is coming in a few days...
*****
You can read it for free online, or download it for free here.
Not appropriate for kids.
Princess Amalia cannot sleep. There is a lump in his bed and she wakes up with a pain in her rump.
And it has a peculiar form...
“You said it was big,” said Aunt Leila. “Exactly how big?”
“Well,” answered the princess, “I could easily place both hands on it, one above the other, with plenty of room above and below.”
“Oh dear,” said Aunt Ingrid. “How thick was it?”
“Hmmm, let’s see. I think my fingers could reach only half way around it.”
“Good Lord!” said Aunt Leila. “Are you sure it wasn’t just a giant clump of feathers?”
“I don’t think so,” said Amalia, “because it grew when I touched it. In fact, the more I touched it, the bigger and harder it got.”
“They tend to do that,” said Aunt Ingrid.
Princess Amalia is a sheltered youth. She has no notion of improper actions. Strangely enough, she wants to do improper actions with the lump in her bed.
The king is outraged, he only wants to get rid of this "phantom phallus". His father orders to change her mattress, her bed frame, he calls the doctor, the wizard... but not suck luck.
And her fiancé is coming in a few days...
*****
You can read it for free online, or download it for free here.
August 21, 2019
A retelling of the classic The Princess and the Frog fairytale. Perfect reading if you want to lighten up. I laughed with tears, but I also found it cute.
If it wasn’t for Petra’s review, I would have missed a good hour laugh and that would have been a pity.
“Basically, Amalia, once a man’s penis is hard, he might try to stick it in you anywhere he can.”
“Even your ear,” said Aunt Leila.
“My ear?”
“Yes. That happened to me once and I couldn’t hear for a week.””
It can be found here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
If it wasn’t for Petra’s review, I would have missed a good hour laugh and that would have been a pity.
“Basically, Amalia, once a man’s penis is hard, he might try to stick it in you anywhere he can.”
“Even your ear,” said Aunt Leila.
“My ear?”
“Yes. That happened to me once and I couldn’t hear for a week.””
It can be found here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
July 27, 2013
”It all started with a lump in my rump.”
If you’re thinking this is a naughty retelling of the famous fairytale The Princess and the Pea, you’d be absolutely correct. Princess Amalia is beautiful, kind and has been kept completely in the dark with regards to anything having to do with sex. That means this story’s all kinds of fun to read!
Last night, I felt it to see what it might be, and it began to grow. In fact, the more I felt it, the more it grew, until it assumed a most peculiar shape.”
“What kind of shape?” asked the queen, now more concerned than ever.
The princess looked around and picked up one of the large candles from the breakfast table. “Well, it was long and hard like this, except much thicker. And it was bigger at the top, like a mushroom. And here, at the bottom, it had two large apples, one on either side.”
Yep, Amalia! What you've got there is a penis in your bed! Royal freak outs ensue, but still no one gives her the 411 on her phallic shaped visitor. Must keep her chaste after all. This leads to some fun yet innocent exploration of her new friend by Amalia.
“Don’t you see? Whatever this thing is, it needn’t be a pain in my rear when it can instead be a pleasure on my front”
“I don’t think the lump is evil after all. When I stroked it, it squirmed and moaned and snuggled up to me just like me pet ferret used to do when I rubbed it between the ears.
Finally her naughty minded Aunts put her out of her misery, let her in on the little secret and try and help rid her of the always ready for action penis. A girl’s gotta sleep, right? The only problem is Amalia’s become quite fond of her not so little visitor.
”Despite what you said this morning about it not being evil, the penis in your bed is obviously not of this world. Seeing as it’s only a penis,” said Aunt Ingrid.
“With no man attached to it,” said Aunt Leila.
“Which frankly doesn’t sound that bad,” said Aunt Ingrid. “Might even be a huge market for that sort of thing.”
I’m not going to spoil the ending, but I will say it includes a Prince from Shlongdia who goes by the name of Longwood. Enough said!
Reread of a freebie I got a couple of years ago, but it’s still damn funny!
If you’re thinking this is a naughty retelling of the famous fairytale The Princess and the Pea, you’d be absolutely correct. Princess Amalia is beautiful, kind and has been kept completely in the dark with regards to anything having to do with sex. That means this story’s all kinds of fun to read!
Last night, I felt it to see what it might be, and it began to grow. In fact, the more I felt it, the more it grew, until it assumed a most peculiar shape.”
“What kind of shape?” asked the queen, now more concerned than ever.
The princess looked around and picked up one of the large candles from the breakfast table. “Well, it was long and hard like this, except much thicker. And it was bigger at the top, like a mushroom. And here, at the bottom, it had two large apples, one on either side.”
Yep, Amalia! What you've got there is a penis in your bed! Royal freak outs ensue, but still no one gives her the 411 on her phallic shaped visitor. Must keep her chaste after all. This leads to some fun yet innocent exploration of her new friend by Amalia.
“Don’t you see? Whatever this thing is, it needn’t be a pain in my rear when it can instead be a pleasure on my front”
“I don’t think the lump is evil after all. When I stroked it, it squirmed and moaned and snuggled up to me just like me pet ferret used to do when I rubbed it between the ears.
Finally her naughty minded Aunts put her out of her misery, let her in on the little secret and try and help rid her of the always ready for action penis. A girl’s gotta sleep, right? The only problem is Amalia’s become quite fond of her not so little visitor.
”Despite what you said this morning about it not being evil, the penis in your bed is obviously not of this world. Seeing as it’s only a penis,” said Aunt Ingrid.
“With no man attached to it,” said Aunt Leila.
“Which frankly doesn’t sound that bad,” said Aunt Ingrid. “Might even be a huge market for that sort of thing.”
I’m not going to spoil the ending, but I will say it includes a Prince from Shlongdia who goes by the name of Longwood. Enough said!
Reread of a freebie I got a couple of years ago, but it’s still damn funny!
October 28, 2014
This got me snickering!!!
This story is a naughty twist to your childhood fairy tale.
But all of the fairy tale elements are there: a princess, strict kings, princes, naughty aunts, curses, wizards, etc...
Reading this was so much fun!
It was PUNny, ridiculous, and hilarious !
Great to read when you want to kill time.
RECOMMENDED!
4.25 NAUGHTY FAIRY TALE STARS!
YOU CAN READ IT FOR FREE ON SMASHWORDS:
https://www.smashwords.com/extreader/...
March 25, 2015
“Well, it was long and hard like this, except much thicker. And it was bigger at the top, like a mushroom. And here, at the bottom, it had two large apples, one on either side.”
Lol! What a funny book. I really enjoyed it. It was short and fun.
Lol! What a funny book. I really enjoyed it. It was short and fun.
July 14, 2019
If you have 20-30 minutes and fancy a short entertaining read, this might just hit the spot.
And it's FREE on Kindle at the moment!
Many thanks to Better Eggs for the link!
And it's FREE on Kindle at the moment!
Many thanks to Better Eggs for the link!
December 20, 2014
Yes, this is a fairytale about a beautiful, chaste princess and a penis. It doesn't get much better than that;o)
It can be downloaded for free on Smashwords so do yourself a favour and read it! :D
It can be downloaded for free on Smashwords so do yourself a favour and read it! :D
April 8, 2016
The first time I saw this book on my feed, I seriously thought I misread the title...
The Princess and the Penis..
The Penis
I mean, the cover looks like an innocent Fairytale read for children, so the Penis on the title was quite contradicting and hilarious. So was this book.
This is a silly, brilliant and funny retelling more like a parody if you ask me of a Fairytale I'm sure you'll get right away what in the first part of the book. The writing was surprisingly delightful and can be read as a real Fairytale story - Penis Humor aside.
Anyway, reading this short story reminds me of Scary Movie films like this...
You can always try reading this story if you want to get a couple of laughs yourself. Bonus: It's currently free in Amazon. :)
Thank you Carol for recommending it. :) Click her name to read her wonderful review as well. :)
The Princess and the Penis..
The Penis
I mean, the cover looks like an innocent Fairytale read for children, so the Penis on the title was quite contradicting and hilarious. So was this book.
This is a silly, brilliant and funny retelling more like a parody if you ask me of a Fairytale I'm sure you'll get right away what in the first part of the book. The writing was surprisingly delightful and can be read as a real Fairytale story - Penis Humor aside.
Anyway, reading this short story reminds me of Scary Movie films like this...
You can always try reading this story if you want to get a couple of laughs yourself. Bonus: It's currently free in Amazon. :)
Thank you Carol for recommending it. :) Click her name to read her wonderful review as well. :)
November 7, 2014
This was exactly the right amount of sexual innuendo and silliness to put a stupid smile on my face and make me feel better about my day.
It is one great BIG penis joke.
Amalia has been kept ignorant and innocent of anything sexual her entire life. She tells her family that there is a lump in her bed that is making it difficult to sleep. The king is sure that this is nothing to worry about until she describes it and what happens when she petted the lump. Hilarity ensues while everyone tries to keep her innocent of what is really happening and convince her to drive the offending lump away.
Super fast funny read if you like adult humor and dick jokes.
p.s. this was free on amazon when I got it so go get it and save it for a rainy day.
It is one great BIG penis joke.
Amalia has been kept ignorant and innocent of anything sexual her entire life. She tells her family that there is a lump in her bed that is making it difficult to sleep. The king is sure that this is nothing to worry about until she describes it and what happens when she petted the lump. Hilarity ensues while everyone tries to keep her innocent of what is really happening and convince her to drive the offending lump away.
Super fast funny read if you like adult humor and dick jokes.
p.s. this was free on amazon when I got it so go get it and save it for a rainy day.
January 7, 2016
As of November 16th, 2015 this book is free on Amazon.
I thought I was getting a goofy, but free, erotic novella off Amazon. What I got was a funny "Princess and the Pea" retelling that truly is a hidden gem that I can't recommend enough.
I was seriously giggling like I was in middle school while reading this. There are so many brilliant penis innuendos that I cannot give Silver enough praise. Seriously, if you want to giggle and smile like an idiot for 30 minutes go download this now.
Amalia is the princess of Westwich, who knows nothing about sex or the male body. Her father, King Norwood, wanted to keep her pure until he could marry her off to a wealthy suitor and wanted to ensure that he wouldn't have any problems. He has kept her well protected her entire life, until she start being unable to get a good night's rest because of a new guest in her bed.
“Well, it was long and hard like this, except much thicker. And it was bigger at the top, like a mushroom. And here, at the bottom, it had two large apples, one on either side.”
This, of course, starts happening as soon as the King finds Prince Rupert and arranges the marriage of him and Amalia. After many nights, bed changes, mattress changes, room changes, and even a priest visit, the King decides to visit a wizard to help the situation.
“Hey, you’re trying to get rid of a penis. Smacking the testicles is never a bad place to start.”
Seventy pages and a million perfect jokes later, especially from her aunts, Amalia realized the magical penis was more than anyone else realized.
“As you know, sire,” continued the prince, “it’s a mighty deed to get a beautiful girl to kiss your private parts.” All the men in the room muttered their agreement.”
I thought I was getting a goofy, but free, erotic novella off Amazon. What I got was a funny "Princess and the Pea" retelling that truly is a hidden gem that I can't recommend enough.
I was seriously giggling like I was in middle school while reading this. There are so many brilliant penis innuendos that I cannot give Silver enough praise. Seriously, if you want to giggle and smile like an idiot for 30 minutes go download this now.
Amalia is the princess of Westwich, who knows nothing about sex or the male body. Her father, King Norwood, wanted to keep her pure until he could marry her off to a wealthy suitor and wanted to ensure that he wouldn't have any problems. He has kept her well protected her entire life, until she start being unable to get a good night's rest because of a new guest in her bed.
“Well, it was long and hard like this, except much thicker. And it was bigger at the top, like a mushroom. And here, at the bottom, it had two large apples, one on either side.”
This, of course, starts happening as soon as the King finds Prince Rupert and arranges the marriage of him and Amalia. After many nights, bed changes, mattress changes, room changes, and even a priest visit, the King decides to visit a wizard to help the situation.
“Hey, you’re trying to get rid of a penis. Smacking the testicles is never a bad place to start.”
Seventy pages and a million perfect jokes later, especially from her aunts, Amalia realized the magical penis was more than anyone else realized.
“As you know, sire,” continued the prince, “it’s a mighty deed to get a beautiful girl to kiss your private parts.” All the men in the room muttered their agreement.”
October 6, 2019
Lol I never thought this would be a book or that I’d read it, in truth, but so many friends on here have recommended it to me that I just had to give it a shot. (Shoutout to Better Eggs for convincing me it was worth a read. 👋) I got it when I thought I was alone but two people were looking over my shoulder. Their reactions were to gasp or laugh out loud. 😂 These reactions summed up how I thought I was going to react to this story, and I was curious to see which it would be.
This book has surprisingly good writing and editing for an independent publication. Usually there will be some grammar or spelling mistakes but I found none in my copy, which is a rare exciting thing. All who worked on this book really cared about making it as readable as possible and it's appreciated by me and other readers.
I’ll be honest and say I wasn’t too hopeful about an actual plot with this story. Boy was I surprised to find out there is. I felt completely engaged with the story; there were so many times I laughed at what the characters said that I was worried I might disturb those close by. The handling of the “enlightenment” of the Princess Amalia was wonderfully done! This might be one of my favorite ways sexual education in the form of “the talk” has ever been handled. The aunts kept it funny while the mom kept it professional. The Princess and the Pea is a classic fairytale I remember from childhood and this retelling was honestly great and did it justice. Mr. Silver definitely has me interested in reading his other books.
Honestly, if anyone would have told me I’d give The Princess and the Penis such a high rating then I would have thought them ridiculous. Even crazy if you said it would be one of my favorite books so far in 2019, yet here I am wanting to tell others to read this book.
This book has surprisingly good writing and editing for an independent publication. Usually there will be some grammar or spelling mistakes but I found none in my copy, which is a rare exciting thing. All who worked on this book really cared about making it as readable as possible and it's appreciated by me and other readers.
I’ll be honest and say I wasn’t too hopeful about an actual plot with this story. Boy was I surprised to find out there is. I felt completely engaged with the story; there were so many times I laughed at what the characters said that I was worried I might disturb those close by. The handling of the “enlightenment” of the Princess Amalia was wonderfully done! This might be one of my favorite ways sexual education in the form of “the talk” has ever been handled. The aunts kept it funny while the mom kept it professional. The Princess and the Pea is a classic fairytale I remember from childhood and this retelling was honestly great and did it justice. Mr. Silver definitely has me interested in reading his other books.
Honestly, if anyone would have told me I’d give The Princess and the Penis such a high rating then I would have thought them ridiculous. Even crazy if you said it would be one of my favorite books so far in 2019, yet here I am wanting to tell others to read this book.
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