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If My Father Loved Me
If My Father Loved Me [Paperback] Thomas, Rosie
400 pages, Paperback
First published May 27, 2003
13 people are currently reading
407 people want to read
About the author
Rosie Thomas
72 books317 followersJaney King, née Morris was born on 1947 in Denbigh, Wales, and also grew up in North Wales. She read English at Oxford, and after a spell in journalism and publishing began writing fiction after the birth of her first child. Published since 1982 as Rosie Thomas, she has written fourteen best-selling novels, deal with the common themes of love and loss. She is one of only a few authors to have won twice the Romantic Novel of the Year Award by the Romantic Novelists' Association, in 1985 with Sunrise, and in 2007 with Iris and Ruby.
Janey is an adventurer and once she was established as a writer and her children were grown, she discovered a love of travelling and mountaineering. She has climbed in the Alps and the Himalayas, competed in the Peking to Paris car rally, spent time on a tiny Bulgarian research station in Antarctica and travelled the silk road through Asia. She currently lives in London.
Janey is an adventurer and once she was established as a writer and her children were grown, she discovered a love of travelling and mountaineering. She has climbed in the Alps and the Himalayas, competed in the Peking to Paris car rally, spent time on a tiny Bulgarian research station in Antarctica and travelled the silk road through Asia. She currently lives in London.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
June 14, 2016
Not an overly riveting read, but wanted to finish it. Believable characters, but it was a bit repetitive I found. Expected a bit more, but not sure what. I didn't know what to expect given the title. Sadie's father is dying and she always felt there was something she didn't know and felt he didn't love her more. She eventually finds out what it was when her son befriends an old lady who comes to the funeral who knew her father....there is more to tell than she could ever have known.
November 9, 2017
Intriguing. Emotional. I found it easy to connect with the characters. It was a story of discovery, of love, of family...of things we thought we knew but didn’t.
March 8, 2020
Loved the exploration of family relationships and the use of reciprocity in that as a plot device. A good read
January 7, 2009
It took me a while to get thru this one. I wasn't that impressed and started another in the middle but did get back to it and was glad I finished the book. Probably won't remember the book in a few months and I can barely remeber the ending now.
March 1, 2012
An easy and enjoyable read, one I looked forward to picking up in the evening. The character are believable and there are some funny moments but I think perhaps I prefered another of her novels 'Constance'.
July 24, 2018
While I loved Rosie Thomas ‘Iris and Ruby’ I should know by now that not every author is gifted with a Midas touch. “If my father loved me” can be summed up in one word—a drag. It could have been much shorter, it could have been more exciting, but instead it dragged on and on for the first 250 pages before it gathered some momentum to become an interesting read.
Sadie is a divorced mother of two, living with her troublesome son Jack and her twenty year old daughter Lola. She is estranged from her father Ted, who was a philandering adulterer and didn’t really care much for the child Sadie, especially after her mother died. Her life was spent hoping to gain his favor but alas! The man was besotted with his profession as a perfume maker, and his business ideas that never materialized.
When he finally dies, she realizes that she barely knew the man and sets about retracing the lost years of her childhood while dealing with her own problems, her friends and their families and her son’s adolescent tantrums. When the little boy develops a comfortable rapport with one of Ted's longlost lovers, Sadie finds herself on unfamiliar ground, fighting a losing battle.
Is Jack just like her? Is her relationship with him a reflection of the unrequited love she wanted as a child? Are her relationships with any and every man doomed to fail because of her unfortunate rapport with her father? And why should she care anymore?
The storyline meanders in some places, making the subplots seem surreal and out of place, like underdeveloped stories of their own. The crux of the story could have been shortened and simplified, but the author chose to take the longer more torturous route. There are many shorter references that I wish were more detailed: Mel’s relationship with her father, Penny and Evelyn, Jack and Audrey.
However, that was not to be.
This one falls way below expectations. However, if you have not read any other book by Thomas, you may want to check this one out or give it a total miss. You wouldn’t be missing anything great!
Sadie is a divorced mother of two, living with her troublesome son Jack and her twenty year old daughter Lola. She is estranged from her father Ted, who was a philandering adulterer and didn’t really care much for the child Sadie, especially after her mother died. Her life was spent hoping to gain his favor but alas! The man was besotted with his profession as a perfume maker, and his business ideas that never materialized.
When he finally dies, she realizes that she barely knew the man and sets about retracing the lost years of her childhood while dealing with her own problems, her friends and their families and her son’s adolescent tantrums. When the little boy develops a comfortable rapport with one of Ted's longlost lovers, Sadie finds herself on unfamiliar ground, fighting a losing battle.
Is Jack just like her? Is her relationship with him a reflection of the unrequited love she wanted as a child? Are her relationships with any and every man doomed to fail because of her unfortunate rapport with her father? And why should she care anymore?
The storyline meanders in some places, making the subplots seem surreal and out of place, like underdeveloped stories of their own. The crux of the story could have been shortened and simplified, but the author chose to take the longer more torturous route. There are many shorter references that I wish were more detailed: Mel’s relationship with her father, Penny and Evelyn, Jack and Audrey.
However, that was not to be.
This one falls way below expectations. However, if you have not read any other book by Thomas, you may want to check this one out or give it a total miss. You wouldn’t be missing anything great!
Read
February 9, 2025There was a period during which I read a number of books by this author in fairly fast succession, but for some reason this one has languished on my TBR shelf for practically a decade, no idea why.
I found it an interesting story, and ironically this is second book I've read this week which touches on estrangement from a parent. This morning I opened a magazine I'm subscribed to, which had been sitting around for the few weeks since it arrived, and lo and behold, there was a whole article on estrangement from parents. Red VW phenomenon, I guess.
One aspect of the book and the writing which I found rather cloying, or suffocating perhaps, was the focus on fragrance. It dissipates a bit towards the end, but as the eponymous father is a "nose" the constant metaphors and references started to feel like a pun gone wrong.
This being said, a number of very intriguing themes are dealt with, the characters are complex and basically credible.
Life is complicated.
I found it an interesting story, and ironically this is second book I've read this week which touches on estrangement from a parent. This morning I opened a magazine I'm subscribed to, which had been sitting around for the few weeks since it arrived, and lo and behold, there was a whole article on estrangement from parents. Red VW phenomenon, I guess.
One aspect of the book and the writing which I found rather cloying, or suffocating perhaps, was the focus on fragrance. It dissipates a bit towards the end, but as the eponymous father is a "nose" the constant metaphors and references started to feel like a pun gone wrong.
This being said, a number of very intriguing themes are dealt with, the characters are complex and basically credible.
Life is complicated.
September 10, 2019
I thought this a wonderful book, following a woman's exploration into her childhood. Did her father neglect and despise her, or did he love her, deep down? Was he ignoring her, or protecting her?
Sadie narrates the book, and I thought the pace was excellent. She has a twelve-year-old son Jack who is going through a difficult phase, and an ex-husband who has remarried. She has some good friends and there's a low-key romantic them too.
I might not have appreciated this book so much twenty years ago; there's a lot of introspection and it's character-based rather than having much plot. But I thoroughly enjoyed reading it recently, and would recommend it highly to anyone who likes thoughtful - and, in the end encouraging - women's fiction.
Full review here: https://suesbookreviews.blogspot.com/...
Sadie narrates the book, and I thought the pace was excellent. She has a twelve-year-old son Jack who is going through a difficult phase, and an ex-husband who has remarried. She has some good friends and there's a low-key romantic them too.
I might not have appreciated this book so much twenty years ago; there's a lot of introspection and it's character-based rather than having much plot. But I thoroughly enjoyed reading it recently, and would recommend it highly to anyone who likes thoughtful - and, in the end encouraging - women's fiction.
Full review here: https://suesbookreviews.blogspot.com/...
March 21, 2019
This is another beautifully told family history. Sadie is the stilted, lonely daughter of Ted, a single parent. Ted does not live up to Sadie’s expectations as a parent. In fact he lets her down time after time. How will this upbringing cloud or illuminate her own judgement as she becomes a parent to her own children?
Will she ever come to grips with Ted’s human failings and manage to secure her own brand of happiness?
For those readers who love to read dramas and relationship based epics this is a very satisfying novel.
Carinya
Will she ever come to grips with Ted’s human failings and manage to secure her own brand of happiness?
For those readers who love to read dramas and relationship based epics this is a very satisfying novel.
Carinya
March 9, 2018
There's a trick to reading this book.here it is. Read it until page 114 and then SKIP over to pg 324.Then it is a very good book.Forget the middle.
I can't even tell you why because I did not read the middle section.
I worshiped this writer after I read Iris and Ruby. I thought she could do no wrong.That was a spectacular book.This one however was not.
Just get to page 324 and it'll be clear sailing-3 stars all the way.
I can't even tell you why because I did not read the middle section.
I worshiped this writer after I read Iris and Ruby. I thought she could do no wrong.That was a spectacular book.This one however was not.
Just get to page 324 and it'll be clear sailing-3 stars all the way.
October 17, 2020
After Sadie's dad dies she revisits her memories of him and realises she doesn't know much about him. Through her son, Jack, she meets up with a woman from her dad's past and this changes everything for her. I love Rosie Thomas's style of writing. Her stories also always have a bit of a twist in the tail and it always brings some surprise. Once again, if you are a Rosie Thomas fan, you will enjoy this as she delves deep into relationships and the effects of it on our lives.
February 12, 2020
I feel like the first 3/4 of this book were unnecessary. Just an unending blah blah blah....Jack is a little twerp, Mel is insecure, Lola is almost perfect yada yada yada. Finally, the book got interesting so the last 1/4 was a good read. I think this is my 4th Rosie Thomas and the second that just seemed to drone on and on and on. Not a bad book but slow and almost boring until near the end.
February 20, 2020
Another book I have discovered on my book shelves that I have already read, so I feel I am able to pass this one on in order to fit some new books on the shelves.
I can't remember exactly when I read it, so I'm guessing the year.
I do remember enjoying it!
I can't remember exactly when I read it, so I'm guessing the year.
I do remember enjoying it!
April 2, 2020
A bit of a drag to be honest. Sadie spent the whole book agonising about her relationship with her father. Clue is in the title. Sadie, he didn’t love you or your mother or anyone else for that matter.
May 15, 2020
Good story of a flawed relationship of a daughter and her father, who dies early in the novel. It's obvious that Sadie compensates for her childhood neglect by hovering over her son Jack. Ultimately Sadie heals, but it's an arduous process!
August 8, 2022
This novel is written from the perspective of a daughter who did not feel loved by her father and she is now about 50 years old. The author writes about her life with two children and a group of friends and I got to feel very comfortable among them.
November 8, 2023
DNF.
I have read and enjoyed most of Rosie Thomas’ other books but this one just wasn’t for me. The premise sounded promising but the pace was too slow, and I just wanted it to get to the point. I gave up after about a quarter of the book.
I have read and enjoyed most of Rosie Thomas’ other books but this one just wasn’t for me. The premise sounded promising but the pace was too slow, and I just wanted it to get to the point. I gave up after about a quarter of the book.
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March 28, 2022i enjoyed reading it!
January 26, 2024
This book was just interesting enough to keep me reading. Nothing at all like i thought it would be.
June 15, 2024
I enjoyed this. The mysteries of our parents and the different perspectives of things over time
May 1, 2025
Slow and thoughtful
August 30, 2025
Unexpectedly good story
August 12, 2023
A story about a woman who is only just discovering who her father was once he passed away.
I thought it was an ok read.
I thought it was an ok read.
October 10, 2011
I am impressed by this author. I found myself interested in Sadie and her relationships. I intended to take my time with it, it is a book you can put down and be getting on with other things, but I found I didn't want to, instead devouring it in around three sittings. It isn't pacey, I'm not sure it has universal appeal, but all the same I really enjoyed it. I kept forgetting that Sadie and her friends are not in their 30's, but then so do they! So if I had any criticism, I suppose I'd be looking for more in the writing to ground me in their age... Having said that, it's so refreshing to have a story about a woman in her early 50's who still has a story to tell, there's hope for me yet.... Will definitely be re-reading this one, and looking out for other Rosie Thomas novels.
July 28, 2011
What a great read. Vividly descriptive. I could "see" London through her eyes. I enjoyed the way she talked about her friends and family and how they made her feel. Sadie is a woman who is finding out things about her father (and herself) that she never knew . It was very enjoyable and I will look for this author's other books.
July 9, 2012
i kept waiting for something exciting to happen but it never did, really had to force myself through this book, the pace was too slow for me, was a real struggle to finish it.. if it wasn't for the fact i cannot start a book and then not finish it, i would have abandoned it before i even got half way through
August 20, 2015
The name of this novel is seems kind of depressing and misleading as I look back on it after finishing. I picked this book up at a hostel in Nicaragua and it held my attention through the plane ride home and days after. I learned a lot about how you view a certain situation through a child's eyes as the narrator goes in search of her deceased father's character.
June 26, 2013
A journey through the hurricane winds life of Sadie, rippling through her quest to stay sane, then it blows away to end with the calm after the storm. It is moving, emotional and raw.
I like how the dialogue flowed between Sadie's past and present without a nauseating feeling.
I like how the dialogue flowed between Sadie's past and present without a nauseating feeling.
June 13, 2008
Pretty standard chick flick sort of book enhanced by her father being such an intersting character and by the fact the characters actualyseems to have some heart
April 30, 2009
2nd book by this author that I have read. Didn't grip me as quick as Constance did but once it did I really enjoyed it.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews