Expat: Women's True Tales of Life Abroad

by Christina Henry De Tessan

It's one thing to travel abroad—to stay in charming hotels and deliberate over whether to visit this museum or relax at that café even to head off the beaten track for a glimpse of "real" life—and another thing altogether to move to another country. Expat chronicles the experiences of twenty-two ordinary women living extraordinary lives in outposts as far flung as Borneo, Ukraine, India, Greece, Brazil, China and the Czech Republic.  In vivid detail, these writers share how the realities of life abroad match up to the expat fantasy. One woman negotiates the rough courtesies of Serbia, finding lives limned by harshness and an insurmountable spirit. Another is tutored on English manners by an eclectic bunch from "The cardinal sin in America is to be insincere, whereas the cardinal sin in England is to be boring." For some, their new home prompts them to reconnect or confront lost parts of One woman rediscovers her Judaism—in Japan; another writer's Western outlook is challenged by Javanese mysticism.  Many share their own naíve blunders and private a Thanksgiving dinner that doesn't translate in Paris, a sudden yearning for bad Hollywood films. And all discover that what it means to be "American" is redefined, again and again. taps into the bewilderment, the joys and surprises of life overseas, where the challenges often take unexpected forms and the obstacles overcome are all the more triumphant.  Featuring an astonishing range of perspectives, destinations and circumstances, this collection offers a beautiful portrait of expatriate life.

Genres: Travel, Nonfiction, Memoir, Cultural, Womens, Feminism, Short Stories

Paperback

First published February 22, 2002

About the author

Christina has worked in publishing for fifteen years, toiling away as both an in-house editor (Chronicle Books, Seal Press, Night + Day city guides) and a freelance writer before joining Girl Friday Productions, a boutique editorial and writing firm. On any given day, Christina may find herself editing a historical novel, generating snappy copy for a corporate website, writing a travel piece about one of her favorite cities, or doing market research for a client's book proposal. She loves all aspects of the book business--writing, editing, research, reading, and, of course, other people who share her passion for words. Originally from San Francisco, she enjoyed stints in Seattle and Paris before finally landing in the foodie-hipster mecca of Portland, Oregon, where she lives with her husband and two energetic sons. She loves indulging in dim sum in San Francisco, dress-shopping in Brooklyn, late-night book-browsing at Powells in Portland, and doing just about anything in Paris.

Reviews

[Jeanette (Ms. Feisty) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I usually end up giving multi-author collections three stars because some are great and some are so-so. However, I think this collection merits four stars. The pieces are very well chosen and give an excellent overall view of what it might mean to try and be an expatriated American.

There are twenty-two stories here, all by different female American authors who lived in places such as China, Borneo, Ukraine, England, Mexico, Denmark, Japan, and many other countries. Some of them don't really qualify as "expats," since they only stayed a few months, but most of them stayed several years.

If you have any glamorous, romantic ideas about moving to another country, this book will give you a more realistic view of what it can be like to be the outsider by virtue of culture and language barriers. Even with all the difficulties, most of these authors ended up staying much longer than they had intended, so there's hope after a period of adjustment!

[Linnea McGowan · Rating 5 out of 5]

My. Favorite. Book. EVER! Every story had something that I could relate to. I laughed AND I cried (often on public buses, thus confirming my "crazy white lady" status throughout Wuhan) and forced every person I knew to read it!

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book about women living abroad, and what they learned about themselves and these other cultures. What's often most interesting is why one went to this particular place.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some of these were very interesting, but others made me sigh with weariness...My sister in law has lived abroad for almost all of her adult life, and the tales she writes are vibrant and alive. I was disappointed to find that most of these stories did not live up to hers. But a few did- and I sincerely enjoyed those. It just goes to show that I'm right in encouraging her to write a book about her experience!

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you read it as an anthology of travel writing, you are likely to be disappointed with the inconsistent quality of the texts. But read it as a stack of postcards from expatriates from all around the world, each feeling thrilled, smitten, humbled and puzzled in their own personal ways, and you're in for a treat.

Some of the voices are brave, some outright whiny, and some try hard to crystallize deep philosophical truths about identity or belonging or just list mundane details. And yet there is something comfortingly similar and relatable about all the joys and frustrations of expat life, regardless of the culture or continent.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

as i fantasize about a life on the road and journeys unending... this was a great book to read this summer while i was in europe. a strong reminder that of respect you should offer those that visit your own home-city, as well as pat-on-the-back for when you've found the courage inside yourself to explore well outside what you know; if even for a short, pristine amount of time.

[Abigail · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not particularly scintillating prose, but it was very interesting to see how other women talk about being abroad, the issues they brought up, the insights into homesickness and self-recreation. I like learning about places I haven't been to, and seeing what others think of the places where I have been.

A quick read.

[Mauri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good. "In Search of Zorba" was like a punch in the stomach, even after three months. "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackboard", "When the Skinheads Start to Grow Hair, It's Time to Leave Town", and "Conversation in Denmark" were the best in my estimation, and are definitely recommended if you only have time to skim this at the bookstore.

[Christi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is full of short stories each illustrating their individual Expat experience. These heartfelt stories span different counties, occupations and life circumstances (married, single etc.). A must read if you are a woman about to take on an international assignment.

[Brooke · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book to psych myself up for my new life as an expat. I thought most of the stories were engaging, with only a few falling flat. A fun, light read that I will likely pick up in a year to see how much of these experiences ring true.

[Eileen · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you're interested in travel, culture clashes, and the lives of everyday women, then this is a great book for you. It'll definitely resonate more if you've actually spent some time living as an expat, but overall it's a poignant as well as entertaining book.

[Ali · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found a little bit of myself and my own experience in every short story I read. Good to know I am not alone during my time of reverse culture shock. Live abroad. Read the book. You'll understand.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found these stories to be very true to an expat experience, and actually somewhat depressing because so many of them deal with the isolation and lonliness of living abroad.

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hit-or-miss. A couple good stories, a couple that are just fluff, and a few that weren't so great. But it's a nice, light read.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

The stories were so unique, with every authour revealing through personal experiences what home means to them. This was heart, soul, geography and storytelling at their best.

[Natalie Leder]

Smearing any nation’s inevitable and nearly prophetic decline, much less yours in obsessive detail, over a decade and cravenly calling one self a writer in said climate is a joke of jokes. . Someone else paying one’s way to promote blabby aspirations doesn’t make y’all a feminist life coach! Whatever writer you once aspired to being, you’re merely a social media lamenter and have given decades to its data deposits (like wtf even is that?) to be taken seriously. It’s exactly like this President knowing his policies are largely unpopular yet doubling them down on their collective sediment properties (like wtf even is he?).

Gimmickly cringy. .

I’d say the U.S. has had a good run until it sold out its Middle Class so fast as far as historical timelines go, that it swapped the battleground of the last 20 years of Civil War to occur within the White House walls, in real time.

Now daily with hubris from thousands of miles away is the fomo obsessed, relevance hunting expat trying to make sense of this sloppy aftermath. Too too righteous to be compared to the raunch of this second term . Alas, their arrogance and lofty obsessions aren’t too different than his.

Perish the thought!

If the right views the emotionally obssessed identity pudge-sludge as unmopped accident to be stepped over, you’d be proving them right! The virtue signaling left rly has bumped so far down the rungs of radio active emotional waste, it’s glowing in the dark now. .

Continual alignment with this exposed nebulous nerve of long winded identity lecturers from folks who cannot recognize what has been allowed to occur back at the Mother hub, (psst, NO one but a a few dozen other guilty expats and bored retired feminists, really want to hear your beat downs/ come to find out you do not ever LIVE here, wtf?) and that decidedly miserably obsessed identity jar scraping the remnants of your former American relevancy shtick, it’s played alike and likely will lose in 28’ jaw salad. Expats who think they offer some profound perspective by polarizing their guilt in critique form never get their finger on the pulse of this political climate back wherever home was, esp after a compounded amount of time away. They just sound deluded, unable to see the full scope of grievance push back and sound so emotionally antiquated. Especially when they suddenly type a “we” in mobilizing their pleas or demands..

U.S. obsessed expats are stuck at a cringy pick-me relevancy fest and it’s a true pathetic optic. Did you move out of country to continually take swings at the country? Your live must be so boring and without purpose then. The most obsessed give gross display of sensationalist jabs, winded pre article explanation and wondering which arrogant lecture of their 20 year sport, will hoist itself from an isolated, select outrage graveyard.

Flash FoMo is not writing.

Who can ever take you for a serious writer?

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was going to give this compilation 3 stars because I really didn’t care for several inclusions but then I realized I really enjoyed others a lot and even those that I may not have cared for taught me something. What I really appreciated was the truth of long term travel or relocation for women on their own, a lot can and will go wrong, this is not vacation, not IG pretty pics, this is down and dirty reality , the racism felt, the poverty, hardship of fitting in, the culture clashes, it really makes one reconsider relocating to other parts of the world. Many, if not most, of the authors ended up back home and happy for it. Honest truth seldom heard.

[Tracey Gemmell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a collection of thought-provoking true tales told by women from around the world. The writers featured tell candidly of their struggles to integrate into cultures, their reasons for going and, in many cases, their reasons for either staying or returning 'home'. The whole concept of home becomes an ever-changing mirage to many of them. As a long-time sufferer of 'hireth' (Cornish spelling) - a yearning for home with a deep sense of loss - this collection spoke to many of my experiences and feelings. Recommended for expats, travelers, and seekers of home.

[Nicole · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this anthology of short stories all written by female authors of their experiences as ex-patriots. Different from typical travelogues as they usually depict someone visiting a country transiently, all of these stories were of women who lived for extended periods of time amongst locals, usually working and assimilating the local language. However, I found many of the stories to be poorly written or simply did not resonate with me. There were several gems of tales but that did not offset my disappointment in the majority of others, hence my low rating.

[Alli · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciated that this book is not a collection of romanticized tales of wonder and beauty. Don't get me wrong, some of that is in there, but it also contains tales of hardship, loneliness, and frustration. As an expat (living in Jordan and now Argentina, since 2013), I appreciate the truth of these. Fascinating and humorous and sometimes sad.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can't remember where I first heard of this book, but I don't think I realized that it was published in 2002. So these stories are all about living abroad in the 90s or earlier. Most of them, honestly, were kind of boring, and I'd be way more interested to know about people's experiences living abroad now, for a lot of reasons.

[Maria Zieno Aebi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having myself lived in the UK for 9 years, I could relate to the general sentiments: 1., It's harder than you think it will be, 2., Making actual friends is not easy, 3., It's totally worth it in the end.

[The Mad Mad Madeline · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really liked this one. Good little mishmosh of women's stories from around the world.

[Steve Castley · Rating 4 out of 5]

An enjoyable read. This collection of short stoires are well crafted and certainly entertaining.

[K · Rating 4 out of 5]

some stories were much more engaging and vivid than others, but that's to be expected. interestingly, most of the stories involve coming back to America, which I wasn't quite expecting.

[Linda Rozanski · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were a couple good stories, but for the most part, I got the feeling that these women were self-centered, immature, and not particularly interested in understanding a culture different than their own. For some of them, it was actually quite surprising that they would even attempt to live abroad. It was a disappointing read.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this- I enjoyed mentally transporting to a new country in each story, and it definitely fueled my wanderlust. It's also just great to read travel stories by other women.

[Maddy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had this book on my shelf for several months now. What inspired me to finally pick it up was that I found out recently I am going to be living in the UK for a month for a job training program. I wanted to read about other American women who have lived the dream of living in another country and see what their struggles were. Some of them were extreme going to countries where there were language barriers as well as vast cultural differences between the destination and our homes in America.

This book includes stories from women who went to countries on every inhabited continent in the world. I really liked how each of the writers had very distinct voices. They talked about all kinds of topics that you wouldn’t immediately think of when living in other countries.

The only complaint for me was that many of these stories were decades old. While they were all incredibly good stories, they don’t reflect what traveling for an American woman today is like. It has been sixteen years since this has been published and I know the world is a very different place than it was in 2002 (and most of the stories are from way before that). Technology, politics, and changes in cultural attitudes might provide a more relatable collection for today’s travelers and ex-pats. I would be certainly interested to see an updated version of this collection or something similar.

I gave this book 4.5 stars! There is so much good insight within these pages and the writers chosen were all engaging story tellers, which is rare in collections, I’ve noticed. I would suggest this book if you like travel or are interested in women’s lives and issues globally.

[Ruby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, and saw so much of my own travels in it.



From not being able to find a blanket (in Korea it seems that even a small, light bedspread is going to cost at least $200), to ordering beer for breakfast because you can't read or imitate anything on the menu (or just because I was hanging out with hot Australian men), to being asked a million times why I am not married, why I am not in a hurry to get married, and why I don't have plans to have children.



I loved this poem that was stuck in the Brazil section by Eliza Bonner:



There is no heart to an onion.

No inner seed, no final point

to reach before you can

say 'it's gone.'

No juicy hard pit implying

some kind of permanence

or regeneration once

each successive surface is

peeled away



When the layers are gone,

there is nothing.

The onion smell

on your hands is an

impermanent stain,

a stinking reminder that

stays with you for a short time

before it too

fades away.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great book and right up my alley.

The women writer's/travelers collected in this book are refreshing, intelligent, and simply great story tellers. It's adventure, food, social elements, and life lessons, but not all the typical touchy feely stuff—more off the beaten path kind of tales about the twists and turns life takes when everything familiar around you ceases to be.

Each story/essay is by a different woman who has taken a different path to traveling or living abroad. Some have sold everything from their previous lives to start over, some are volunteering or working abroad for only a period of time, some are there by marriage or because a marriage didn't work out. Whatever the situation, they are each sharing stories about their unconventional lives and what it's like to be an independent woman, not just traveling, but trying to put down roots in new and foreign lands.

It's an enjoyable and quick read with a lot of wisdom and good story telling. I'd definitely recommend it to anyone interested in women's issues or someone seeking out what it is like to live and travel abroad on one's own.