Parenting Children with ADHD 10 Lessons That Medicine Cannot Teach by Monastra, Vincent J. [American Psychological Association (APA,2005]

by Vincent J. Monastra

Parenting Children with ADHD 10 Lessons That Medicine Cannot Teach by Monastra, Vincent J.. Published by American Psychological Association APA,2005, Paperback

Genres: Parenting, Adhd, Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Family, Reference

Paperback

First published November 1, 2004

About the author

Vincent J. Monastra, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and director of the FPI Attention Disorders Clinic in Endicott, New York. He is internationally recognized for his research on the neurophysiological characteristics of children and teens with ADHD and his treatment studies demonstrating the significance of parenting style, school intervention, nutrition, and EEG biofeedback in their overall care.

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found the scientific information very helpful. There was a lot of information about how most ADHD brains function and why/how different medications (some times) work. Also, while the nutritional information was not by any means conclusive, the book stressed the importance of protein intake-and why, and I am so glad I read that as I'm honestly not sure our doctor would have given us that information on his own, which I now feel is essential.

The discipline/behavioral improvement ideas were okay, but many of them seemed better geared toward the parents of high school or junior high school-aged children, and our son is 8. That said, there were still a lot of tips that we could use at home. However, some of those ideas seemed a bit impractical to me, and the useful ones weren't really anything new for us (but then our issues at home are not the big ones; school is our bigger challenge).

Over all, I am very happy I chose this book as my first ADHD parenting book and will definitely hold on to it as a reference.

[Rachel Brewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read a dozen parenting books, none of them helped. Then I read this book after my child was diagnosed with ADHD. It has been the most helpful, most effective parenting book I’ve read. If your child has ADHD I highly recommend it! It would work for parents of kids of all ages (young kids through teens). The only part I didn’t like was the science begging ADHD. It got very technical and went over my head. But I do appreciate that this book tackles ADHD from all angles: discusses the science behind it, medication, nutrition, sleep, approaches to school and IEPs and 504 plans, and parenting techniques. It’s a holistic approach to parenting a child with ADHD. So many times reading this book I found myself saying “omg THIS is my child! How does he know?!” I’ve never had that with other (general) parenting books. I’ve already been implementing some of the techniques and it’s been really helpful. I had been parenting completely wrong for my child’s diagnosis and needs. I’ve completely changed my approach thanks to this book and although it’s only been a short period of time I can see the difference. I’m looking forward to implementing the other, more involved strategies in this book.

[Trace · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn't finish this book. The title seemed to indicate a holistic approach that didn't necessarily rely on medication as the foundational treatment. But this was a false assumption on my part as the author promotes ritalin from the very beginning of the book.

The chapter on diet and nutrition (when he FINALLY got around to tackling this topic) made me want to throw the book in the garbage. The author talks about his favorite breakfast as having great protein content and staying power. Want to know what his favorite breakfast is?? And I quote "Chocolate pudding, soy protein powder, Cool Whip and crushed oreo cookies." I am not kidding. What ADHD child needs MORE sugar? And why? So that they can take more medication?

Sorry - I can't take this guy seriously. I'd give this book a 1/2 star rating if I could. Big dissappointment.

[Heather Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved that this book gave value to the medical need for many people and children with ADHD to be treated with medication, while continuing to stress the importance of behavior modification and nutrition. ADHD is a medical diagnosis and requires several different strategies to help children learn to cope and become productive and contributing citizens.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was just ok. The most useful parts were the two chapters in the very beginning that go over how ADHD is diagnosed and what exactly ADHD is, in terms of brain function. The following chapters were so so. The information on nutrition was interesting, but not much beyond what everyone should be doing. He talked about eating a certain amount of protein for breakfast and lunch and how it affects your brain during the course of your day. I felt like it was one of those things where you go “duh” but then when it’s actually explained you find it becoming more important to you.

I don’t have a medicated child in public school, so most of this book felt like it didn’t apply to me. I didn’t love his suggestions for reward systems. One thing I did like was his idea that when ADHD kids do something “wrong” be it an angry outburst or not doing work at school, that they be made to make amends before continuing on. In my own parenting it is my desire to teach my kids the concept of repentance, apologizing, and forgiveness. That’s probably his only concept that struck a cord with me.

Maybe this book is helpful for others, but it wasn’t really for me. I’m still learning here, there’s no official diagnosis in my household. What I really really wish I could find is a book that is written for homeschoolers. I’d love to see a book that takes a more holistic approach to helping focus and behaviors and overall living life. That sounds really broad, but my days are spent with my kids in my house all day every day. There are no IEPs in my house. I am the IEP ha.

[Danielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great book! In plain language, it explains the medical basics of ADHD, like how to get a diagnosis, and what different meds will and won't do. Also provides tons of advice for helping your child manage it: In addition to meds, kids need protein at lunch and dinner, routines, clear rules with consequences and lots of positive reinforcement, along with on-on-one time. And of course, a parent needs to take care of herself, too.

These strategies would work with all kids - but if you think your kid is difficult, or might have ADHD, or has just been diagnosed, this is a great book to help your family.

[Jillian · Rating 5 out of 5]

So far this has been the most helpful parenting book I've read--goodbye "What To Expect: The Toddler Years", you're not helpful at all when it comes to raising my Little Tornado! The only problem I had with this book is that it was basically for parents with school-aged kids. I need one for toddlers. Still extremely helpful.

[Sheri · Rating 4 out of 5]

I actually read this book because I accidentally placed a hold on it while searching for a completely different topic in the library catalog. I decided I was apparently meant to read it.

Though the title seemed to indicate that the author holds medicine at arm's length, it really indicates his belief that, while medicine has an important place in treating the symptoms of ADHD, it is only a part of the treatment picture. He has chapters on the medical legitimacy of ADHD, on the importance of a good diet, on the necessity of getting accommodations from the school, on helping your child to develop emotional control, and on taking care of yourself as the parent.

While some of these chapters were more helpful than others, I found the book thought-provoking and useful overall.

[Rachael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether you believe ADHD is a real medical thing or just a behavior thing, I think Dr. Monastra does a good job explaining how to walk through many behavior issues with a child, not just how to "deal" with them. These strategies could also be just as effective and have merit for anyone, not just those living or working with someone who may have "ADHD"-like symptoms; for adults, too, not just kids. Dr. Monastra also makes it a point to discuss that just because someone has ADHD-like symptoms, it may not be ADHD. It could be a dietary issue, a different medical issue, a learning disability, or even an issue of legit actual major stress, trauma, or anxiety.

[Nina Buru · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Furia e o stare emotionala menita sa ne pregateasca pentru o lupta sau pentru intimidarea unei alte persoane. In timpul cat suntem furiosi, regiunile creierului necesare pentru a rezolva o problema nu sunt activate. Sunt suprimate. In consecinta, ultimul lucru pe care ar trebui sa il facem cand suntem furiosi ar fi sa vorbim cu o alta persoana".

[Ck · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid recommendations from nutrition, medication, education and emotional control.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

A bit redundant at times but overall, great info and helpful tips I have begun applying. Definitely worth the read.

[DeWayne Dorsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super insightful. It's like someone was writing about my life. Amazing and very helpful

[Shellie Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great parenting resource.

[Lindsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found the latter chapters that pertain to teens most helpful.

[Amber Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Did not read the book in its entirety, but it was very informative where it needed to be, and I took a lot away from reading it!

[Rosa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Extremely help guide to managing children with ADHD.

[Douglas Lord · Rating 4 out of 5]

The excellent thing about Monastra's approach is that he is uniformly protective of the children, supportive of the parents, and encourages parents and professionals to educate themselves about ADHD at all times since it is a moving target. Much of the information in the book, now over 10 years old, is 'classic' in terms of conforming to the 'new style' of parenting kids with ADHD. Deeply suspicious of simple drug tactics, he favors holistic and family-friendly approaches that are catered to each individual kid. Lots of info that will do a kid good even if it doesn't directly affect their ADHD, such as emphasizing good nutrition (lots of info, charts and tables with good info), the need for kids to learn emotional control. Monastra also tells parents bluntly that ADHD is a tough road. Good book, a good starting place for many parents and will date well for many more years.

[Adrienne · Rating 2 out of 5]

I mostly skimmed through this book as I've been reading a lot of books on ADHD and get the basics of what it is. I would read more on the areas that other books hadn't touched or where this author took another opinion. Vincent Monastra doesn't believe everyone has a bit of ADHD like others in the field have said they can have symptoms of it or times of it (like situational depression, situational ADHD). He believes ADHD is soley caused by genes, we inherit it. the author does believe that nutrition matters and for a book that is 10 years old I was surprised that there were concerns even then about wheat/gluten in a diet for a person with ADHD. Also mentioned avoiding dyes and preservatives but that protein was a necessary help.
He has a chapter that does a good job explaining more about 504's and many accommodation ideas to help students. (some relevant and helpful and some old)
He teaches to have a plan of action, teach problem solving skills, good communication. I got a couple good ideas out of this book but won't recommend it because it seems out dated in the views. I've read and heard many newer ideas that make this information seem less relevant.

[Nikki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Our 7 year old has been diagnosed as having ADHD and I found this book to be interesting and filled with some good ideas as to how to help children with ADHD. Quite a few examples discussed in the book (in regards to parent/child conflict) hit home. The book isn't anti-medication and the title may be misleading to those who don't read a summary beforehand. This is the first book I've read on the topic and won't be the last, but I'm sure to go back and reference many of the author's suggestions.

[Ruben · Rating 4 out of 5]

This sort of book doesn't need to be funny or exciting; it needs to strike a balance between giving enough information and trying to answer every possible question. The more the author tries to provide the one book to rule them all, the less likely it is that any one reader will find the material applicable. I appreciate the readability and brevity, in particular the explanations of diet and drugs. Other books love to stuff each chapter with hypothetical children when a simple explanation would suffice. It's probably not the last book on ADHD I'll read, but it's a satisfying first one.

[Steve Blankenship · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great resource

I have read several parenting guides, but this the most useful. I have begun to implement some of the author's suggestions and have seen a change almost immediately. I also had no idea about the other factors that could be causing my child's difficulty with concentration. I ended up skipping over the homework sections, but feel like I still got the help I needed.

[M · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some decent nuggets of info here, although it felt a little repetitive in the latter half. I was surprised to see as much about medicine as there was (given that the title says it’s not about medicine…). The book is probably best for a parent with little to no experience with ADHD interventions or prior reading.

[Leslie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really thought this was an interesting book. I gained a ton of info about ADHD and tips to help the kids succeed in life. I would recommend this book to anyone who knows or even thinks their child(ren) might be ADHD.

[Laura Milvy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Between this book and therapy, thing seem like we are beginning to get a grip on ADHD. Whereas I am finding the chart and point system very helpful, I think there is way to much emphasis place=d on medication in this book and I found that disheartening.

[Suzi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A perfect blend of medical science, common sense, and parenting practice. An intelligent, comprehensive approach whether you wonder if your child has ADHD or if they've already been diagnosed. Helpful and insightful about what it is really like to parent a child with ADHD.

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very good book for me to read in order to help our family dynamic with a child with ADHD. The explanation of what ADHD is, why meidcations work, and what you can do in addition to medication were helpful as our family worked on routines and systems that would help us.

[Nathan]

Prof recamended it

[Brita · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent book on getting ADHD accurately diagnosed and ways of working with children in a home setting who have adhd. Best book on adhd I have read. EAsy to read and understand.

[Tracey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book. I would recommend it to anyone who deals with children that have ADHD. It is written in clear, simple terms and gives great advice. I refer to this book often!