The Story of My Disappearance : A Novel

by Paul Watkins

Hardcover, first edition; first print, very good condition. Light surface marks to the jacket and minor tanning to the pages otherwise a very clean copy throughout. DP

Genres: Fiction, Mystery, Literature

240 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1997

About the author

Paul Watkins is an American author who currently lives with his wife and two children in Hightstown, New Jersey. He is a teacher and writer-in-residence at The Peddie School, and formerly taught at Lawrenceville School. He attended the Dragon School, Oxford, Eton and Yale University. He received a B.A. from Yale and was a University Fellow at Syracuse University, New York. His recollections of his time at the Dragon School and Eton form his autobiographical work Stand Before Your God: An American Schoolboy in England.

Writes crime fiction set at the birth of Stalin's Russia under Sam Eastland.

Reviews

[Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick read. Good story. Nothing special.

[Declan · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's not you Paul, it's me. I decided to try reading a thriller and eventually realised that it's not the genre for me, even when the book is well written, which this one is. I just wasn't able to sustain interest when the details began to mount up. When there was a man and woman together in a fishing boat, I liked the book. Your descriptions of their working relationship and the development of their affection for one another was subtle and convincing. I especially liked the way you had the man notice all kinds of lovely, incidental aspects of the woman. However, when we had to go back in time to Afghanistan, to descriptions of guns and army units and terrorists, I just lost interest. This probably indicates some failure in me. Another reason why I'll never be an Alpha Male.

[Eric_W · Rating 4 out of 5]

A man walks into a bar, talks to several of the people there, walks over to a man sitting eating oysters and plunges a spike repeatedly into his skull. That's the beginning of this very well written story. It's hard to decide what genre the novel belongs to; it's part mystery, part thriller, part philosophical examination of who and what we are. The narrator, Paul Wedekind, who anglicizes his name to Paul Watkins, we learn through an assortment of flashbacks, is a Soviet spy, forced into the business by the Stazi. He was a soldier in Afghanistan who was captured by the Mujahadin. He watches two friends being tortured and is exchanged at the last minute before his own execution. Because he has been listed as a fatal battlefield casualty, the Russian secret service force him to enlist as a spy. He is sent to Newport Beach to help Suleika, another spy, whose husband had died. Suleika's cover was running a fishing boat. Her mission was to ferry couriers from Russian submarines to shore and back again. Paul's life seems settled until the Berlin Wall crumbles, a sub fails to show up during a near hurricane and the courier carrying hundreds of thousands of dollars tries to abandon them as their boat is sinking. Suleika realizes that Paul has recognized the killer in the bar, a man from out of the deep past, someone he thought was dead, and a friend he knows will intertwine him into systematic revenge he would rather forget

[Bill PETTIT · Rating 4 out of 5]

Awesome read. Everything I want in a book, the cold war, boating and fishing...

[Olly Poole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cool Watkins, one of his best for me.

Knits together Cold War, Deep sea fishing and his class descriptions into a thriller with some gnarly twists and turns. This book explores trust and loyalty, inadequacy, admiration and love, all while portraying a strangely familiar perspective of the world.

[Curtis Poe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like many bibliophiles, our house has bookshelves filled with books, knick-knacks, and more dust than I care to admit. Like many bibliophiles, I can point to just about any book on those bookshelves and tell you something about the history of the book. I bought it for the author, or the subject matter, or on the advice of a friend. If I cannot tell you this, my wife will stand in for me.

Neither of us have a clue where this book came from. It was just sitting there, wedged between Charlie Stross novels. It's an edition published by Faber & Faber, an independent London publishing house. They publish authors such as Samuel Beckett, Sylvia Plath, and Seamus Heaney. So the book, to my mind, was probably in the "literature" category. Or the "lit-rah-chah" category, as those of a certain class are wont to say. It has a grey cover, with an artistic photo of the sea at night, and the letters "LSO" penciled on the first page. This mysterious origin is such a perfect introduction to this book because it ...

It ...

Well, damn it. It has nothing to do with the book, but I started writing and I'll be damned if I'm going to simply erase everything and start over. First you finish and then you edit. I often don't get around to editing.

For authors, I often group them into one of two types. There are the Kings and the Grishams, amazing authors whose writing gets out of the way of the story and you get lost in their world. There are also the Kingsolvers and the Zafóns, writers whose writing enthrals you. Writing that elevates the story to another plane and, unlike my purple prose, makes you want to reread the novel for no other purpose than to bathe in the words.

This story's first sentence was, "It had been a long time since I'd seen a man killed."

Okay, so maybe Paul Watkins isn't the second kind of writer.

Lit-rah-chah, a highfalutin publishing house, and the opening sentence of a boilerplate thriller? I put the book back on the shelf. That was a few months ago. Two days ago, I picked it up again because I wanted to read something.

Do not judge a book by its cover opening sentence.

This book is amazing. The writing is glorious. Your reviewer is ashamed. I should have read this book the first time it snuck into our bookcase, hiding away in the wrong section like an unexpected gift. Assuming his other writing holds up, Paul Watkins will have a section reserved just for his work. He is that second kind of writer.

The book's genres are listed as "mystery" (no), "thriller" (er, maybe?), and "literature." It certainly could have been written as a thriller and as thrillers go, I'm sure it would have been a pleasant beach read. Cold War? Secret identities? Death? It ticks all the boxes, but it goes far beyond that. The writing is simply amazing. Watkins necessarily tells the story in a non-linear style, something I've been criticized for, but he pulls it off seamlessly. He switches between time periods with shockingly different settings, but with that consistent, strong writing that simply amazes.

From the editorial reviews on Amazon, Publishers Weekly writes:

Subtly evocative prose and a convincing first-person narrative may have readers wondering if this tense and absorbing tale of a former East German spy marooned in New England by the fall of communism could actually be true.

The book leans into this with the main character, Paul Wedekind, getting naturalized as an American and changing his name to Paul Watkins, the author's name. On my copy, it lists the cover photo as being taken by "Gunter Ziesler," and a minor, but prominent, character in the book is named "Gunther." The author's photo—apparently taken on a fishing boat, something the main character works on—is taken by "Suleika," who is also the name of Paul Wedekind's partner in the book.

I thought this was a bit much, but it was a subtle detail you might miss if you don't search out those details.

On the back cover, "The Times" has a blurb reading, "I devoured this book not once but twice, and enjoyed it just as much when I knew what was coming." I think that's a lovely idea and I'll give it a go.

And I still have no idea where this book came from.

[Kirsten · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ein Mann wird in einer Bar ermordet. Was wie eine zufällige Tat erscheint, beendet eine Reise, die weit in der Vergangenheit in Afghanistan begonnen hat.

Zuerst scheint es, als ob Paul durch Zufall Zeuge eines Mordes wird. Er ist mit seiner Freundin in der Bar, um über ihre Beziehung zu reden. Es scheint, als ob sich weder Täter und Opfer kennen, noch Paul einen der Männer. Aber während Paul seine Geschichte erzählt hat, wurde mir klar dass viel mehr hinter der Tat steckt als nur ein Zufall.

Paul hat für die Stasi gearbeitet. In deren Auftrag hat er Soldaten in Afghanistan ausspioniert. Später führte ihn sein Auftrag an die Ostküste der USA. Dann kam der Fall der Mauer und damit wurde seine Arbeit nicht mehr benötigt. Paul wurde vergessen, oder vielleicht doch nicht?

Pauls Geschichte zu lesen, hat mich manchmal an das Häuten einer Zwiebel erinnert. Unter jeder Schicht gab es etwas Neues zu entdecken, das mein Bild von Paul komplett geändert hat.

Auch wenn die Geschichte mit dem Höhepunkt beginnt, bleibt die Geschichte spannend bis zum Schluss. Sie ist intelligent und mit vielen Untertönen erzählt und wirkt trotz der 20 Jahre, die sie schon alt ist, nicht verstaubt.

[Greg B · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was spellbound. This book grabbed me from it's opener and I had trouble putting it down. I would often rush through some of the things I had to do that day so I could have more time to read. I loved the clear writing and way he could tell a story. There were a few scenes that got so deeply lodged in my head I dreamt about them that night. When a book gets into my dreams, that's the sign of an amazing book.

The parts about identity were interesting to me. The character seems to be constantly on the move, pulled and pushed by forces he can't control, not sure where he fits in, and living a double life.

[Tamsen Fowler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not a genre or subject matter I usually enjoy or seek out. Cold War era thrillers. But I found this story captivating. The drive for survival, the raw emotion, the loyalties tested, the fish. Just raw enough to keep my stomach on edge as I read. The story felt as cold as the dark fishing waters that the Baby Blue called home.
It was a new world and a new perspective. I appreciate new perspectives.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gripping!
I held my breath at page 12, and exhaled 2 hours after I finished the book.

[Angela Mendola · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really well written. I love this author.

[Jrobertus · Rating 3 out of 5]

a fairly interesting novel about an east german veteran of afghanistan war who becomes a spy in the u.s. he falls in love with a lady spy who forces him to confront his past.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

War in Afghanistan (Russians), spies in America and a love story. Paul Watkins is the best!

[David Grieco · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoy Paul Watkins writing style, descriptive yet concise. He really puts me into the head of a character, similar to Cormac McCarthy's style

[Alisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not being a huge war story fan, I surprisingly, liked this book. It's one that will stick with you, memorable.

[Gregory Lamb · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite among all the Watkins stories. Great setting, colorful cast of characters, and a contemporary plot that we can all relate to.

[Frank · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good fast read, spy, crime, love story. A bit unreal at times, but fun regardless

[James Poole · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well written and moves at a good pace. Little disjointed in the middle but overall an enjoyable read.