Stop Eating Your Heart Out: The 21-Day Program to Free Yourself from Emotional Eating

by Meryl Hershey Beck, Jeanne Rust (Foreword)

According to experts, 75 percent of overeating is emotional eating. For readers wondering why they are eating so much, comes a 21-day path to recovery. Don’t feed your feelings.  We turn to food for comfort and rely on soul food to cope with everyday stress, anxiety, and everything in between. In  Stop Eating Your Heart Out , professional clinical counselor Meryl Hershey Beck teaches us that contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to eat your heart out. Control your cravings.  Different types of eating disorders are marked by cycles of compulsive eating. Rather than focus on weight loss, Beck teaches us to recognize emotional eating and out of control comfort eating. With humorous anecdotes, learned wisdom, and informational insights she teaches readers to control cravings and live in recovery. Compulsive eating is conquerable.  Consider  Stop Eating Your Heart Out  to be brain food. Disclosing her very personal struggle with food and overcoming binge eating Beck doesn’t just use the Twelve-Step Recovery approach. She offers a multitude of effective self-help tools and assignments If you want to learn how to stop overeating, and enjoyed books like  Never Binge Again ,  Overcoming Binge Eating , or  When Food Is Comfort , then you’ll love  Stop Eating Your Heart Out .

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Health, Audiobook

256 pages, Paperback

First published March 15, 2012

About the author

Admired for her authenticity, Meryl Hershey Beck, a licensed professional clinical counselor, is appreciated and respected for her perseverance in doing the hardcore work and her clarity in finding no-kidding solutions to end the misery of addictions. She spent the first half of her life as a closet eater, gaining weight and feeling overwrought. Once she became active in 12 Step support groups, the bingeing -- fueled by anxiety, low self-esteem, and the desire to escape -- started to wane. Intent on uncovering the root cause of her overeating, Meryl began to incorporate other modalities in her quest for self-understanding. As a counselor, teacher, and author, Meryl joyfully shares these many tools and techniques that skyrocket personal growth and alleviate emotional eating.

Reviews

[Melissa T · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emotional eating. We all do it at one point or another. Sometimes we eat mindlessly, when we're bored or sitting in front of the TV. I know I'm guilty of it. I don't find it all that surprising that there were many instances where I could think of myself just sitting in front of the tv eating. One of the most ironic instances is me eating dinner and watching The Biggest Loser.

Now, I'm not overweight by any means. But, I have gained weight in the past year or so. Some people tell me that I was too skinny before, and they like the look of me with "meat on my bones" but I know that I weigh more than I would like. And I also know that some of my weight gain is caused by overeating and not enough exercise.

Stop Eating Your Heart Out: The 21 Day Program to Free Yourself From Emotional Eating gives readers tools and tips to work on triggers and issues that surround their eating habits. I believe it's meant to be done by doing one exercise a day, one day at a time, but since I was reading this for review I didn't have that time to take. I did however do some of the exercises as I went along. They are simple, but some of them can be emotionally charged, so you may want to make sure your prepared for that.

There are lots of different tips and techniques to try. Some of the most interesting to me personally are the ones involving energy techniques. I think that these could not only be helpful for overeating but in other areas of my life as well.

Now, I do have to admit that at the first mention of a higher power/spirituality, I became a bit skittish. I'm not a religious person and don't like to be preached to. I know that religion and spirituality are different concepts but sometimes people can blend the two and the line becomes blurred. Beck was very open about her discussion of spirituality and higher power in terms of self work and what that means in regards to overeating. She made some important distinctions which I greatly appreciated. She stated that spirituality unifies and religion separates, and that spirituality lies beyond religion.

I took this to mean that religion has a set of rules that you must follow or be left out of the group, and spirituality is more free form. You can be spiritual in whatever way makes you feel comfortable. You don't have a set of rules that you have to follow or anyone dictating what you need to do.

Interestingly, this book also references another book that I read a little over a year ago called Zero Limits by Joe Vitale. The concept of self work is the same, but there are less varied techniques. (I think that's one reason I was less happy with that book because I felt that it just kept repeating the same things over and over.)

The book often references the Twelve Step Program, similar to AA but alcohol is replaced with food. It's not completely the same, but it has a foundation using that. This book is more individualized though. You get all the tools to use but you don't necessarily have to do them any certain way and you don't have to use them all if you don't want to.

This is an excellent resource for someone struggling with overeating or other food issues. It also has a list of other valuable resources that you can refer to if needed. In addition to helping people resolve their issues with food I think this could be used more generally to increase positivity in your every day life as well..

I'm grateful to the author for sharing her book with me so that I could write this review.

*I received a free copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.*

[Julia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Way too out there in the realm of questionable non-Christian spiritual energy sources (spirits?) for me. I did appreciate two phrase changes we could make for ourselves in any area of life: rather than saying "I should _____", it is more helpful to say "I could ______." And rather than saying "I have to ______", it is more helpful to say "I choose to________."

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helps people deal with emotional eating and has a clear 21 day plan to equip a person with the tools necessary to break destructive eating patterns. When I received the book I was very excited to work with the tools so that I could better address and stop my emotional eating. Below is a summary of the book and some of my experiences.

As of March 23, 2012, I've read through the introduction and first eight days worth of the program outlined in the book. I'm an impatient reader. So, my original goal was to read the book once through quickly, then implement the tools, but I find myself wanting to implement as I go along, at least for the things that can be done easily as I read.

The introduction gives some background and explains how to use the book. In Chapter 1, the author shares her personal journey through unhealthy compulsive eating patterns to healthier ones. In the second chapter, entitled "Becoming Self-Honest", the reader can assess his or eating behavior and the first exercise is writing an eating history. I found this to be a revealing exercise. Also, day 2's tool, a food mood dairy helps us to look at what motivates us to eat - is it loneliness, anger, etc.? The author also encourages the keeping of a personal journal, which I did start. It felt good to get things out on paper.

Chapter 3 deals with finding support and checking out a twelve step group, or finding other means of support. Self-care is also covered. The author has some great suggestions on things you can do to give yourself the right kind of attention, and positive ways to look at tasks we're faced with. The author also encourages the reader to seek the benefits of therapy if necessary.

Day 7's assignment was really powerful for me. I completed it this morning. I wrote a letter to God. It had quite an impact. The author encourages all of us to get in touch with our spiritual side through contact with what she calls a "Higher Power". For some, this might be God, nature, Jesus, or Buddha, etc. Day 8 takes this further and encourages prayer and meditation. I already do these two things, and I can attest to the difference they make in a person's life. Again, the author has some great ideas and explanations on how to do these things in your life.

O.k. I'm back with more to say. I've now read through Day 12 and have worked through some of the energy techniques in Chapter 5. I really like them, They've been very soothing. I haven't eaten because of stress or emotions since I've started the book. I think this is just the push in the right direction that I needed.

As of March 29, I've read through Day 16. In Chapter 6, "going within" was covered. Exercises to help a person get in touch with their "Inner Child" and "Inner Critic" were included in this section. I found some of these exercises awkward for me. I've never done something like them before. However, they did help to uncover some of the things in my life that may make me reach for food as a comfort source. The chapter I'm on now has to do with "personal housecleaning".

Its now April 9th and I've read through the beginning of Chapter 8. Here are some of my summaries and thoughts when I look back on the past few days of exercises. Day 16 was especially revealing. The exercise for it was to complete a "sin" inventory, with focus on the seven deadly sins. Day 17 follows up with giving this list away - finding a trusted confidant to share it with. I will be doing that tonight. Day 18 helps us to see that if we have things we've done that we think hurt someone in the past, we need to make amends for them. I've tried to do this throughout my life and being able to clear the air is a powerful thing.

After day 18, comes a new topic in Chapter 8 called "Conscious Living". On day 19, the author discusses how to practice forgiveness and the exercises focus on doing so in your life. This is a powerful, take the weight off or your shoulders, section. Day 20 helps us to practice gratitude and has a very helpful re-framing exercise. Day 21 sums up with a section on healthy eating.

Chapter 9, the last chapter in the book, gives a synopsis of each tool and its use, as well as some bonus tools which I will leave for you to discover on your own. There are also various references included for support and further research.

I would definitely recommend this book as an excellent resource for those of us who tend to rely on food for comfort. It is a non-judgemental and empathetic support to people struggling with emotional eating.

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really would give this book 4.5 stars. The only reason is that some of it is based on OA/AA. I don't think that's bad in any way but some of the techniques is just not for me. But, that being said, overall I really liked this book and like the techniques she outlines to do to get over emotional eating. There is a good bit I can use in this book. Some I already heard before but there is plenty that just makes sense to overcoming your emotional/overeating addiction.

There are things in the book about dealing with past issues, the present, keeping journals, food mood diary (which makes alot of sense to me), and I love guided imagine methods. I wish I could find some good tapes on them though. Any suggestions let me know.

I never heard of the left/right hand method but it's interesting for sure. If you want more explaination you will have to read the book. I don't want to give it away.

Love the section in the back of references and the author put a recommended reading section in the back to read further about eating disorders, weight control, etc.

I will read more from this author for sure.

[Kris · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good start, but got way too religious for me.

[Deb · Rating 5 out of 5]

*Start filling your heart up*

Do you identify with any of these statements?

--I am preoccupied with food, eating, and weight.

--I am aware that my eating patterns are not normal.

--I eat when I am not physically hungry.

--I eat very little in pubic and binge in private.

--I eat to comfort myself and relieve distressing feelings.

--I tend to eat more when I am stressed, anxious, or depressed.

--Food has become my friend, my lover, or my drug of choice.

--I feel ashamed of myself due to the quantity of food I consume.

--I feel powerless over my eating behavior.

(The complete list of statements can be found on pp. 16-17 of Meryl's book.)

If so, then you may very well be an emotional eater.

Although that reality may be hard to accept, the hope that Meryl's book offers is undeniable. As she states:
“The goal of this book is for you to have freedom from emotional eating. This means that your relationship with food will change; it will no longer be your best friend or your worst enemy—food will just be food, used for pleasure, at times, and for nourishment. Being freed from emotional eating also means you are able to feel your feelings and deal with them rather than numbing yourself with food...And the more you come to love, accept, and appreciate yourself, the more food will just be food—rather than your drug of choice.” (pp. 76, 160)


And, she delivers on this hope with a 21-day plan to help you break free from the trap of emotional eating. As a recovered emotional eater, she's made it though this process herself, and as a therapist and author, she now shares this program with others. You'll have to get your hands on your own copy of this book (I highly recommend it!), but until then, here's a quick sampling of what the 21-day plan involves:

***Becoming Self-Honest***

Day 1: Eating History—Taking an honest self-inventory to determine how you have used food in the past.

Day 2: Food-Mood Diary—Exploring the connection between food and feelings by tracking emotions and triggers associated with every bite you take.

Day 3: Personal Journal—Using writing as a tool to identify, process, explore, and release feelings as well as gain increased awareness and insight into your eating behaviors, thoughts, beliefs, and habits.


***Finding Support***

Day 4: Creating a Support System—Developing a support system (of friends, family members, support groups) to help sustain you through the process.

Day 5: Self-Care—Identifying and implementing ways to nurture yourself—and put your own oxygen mask on before helping others!

Day 6: Therapy—Exploring therapy options for additional support in your growth and healing process.



***Spirituality and Spiritual Growth***

Day 7: Higher Power—Connecting with a source outside yourself (be it God, nature, a spiritual connection, a Higher Power, or any other source of connection that feels right to you).

Day 8: Prayer and Mediation—Decreasing the need for food compulsions by filling yourself up with prayer and/or meditation practices.

Day 9: Creative Visualization—Manifesting your dreams and goals with specific techniques to envision freedom from emotional eating and a newfound ability to eat for pleasure and nutrition.


***Energy Techniques***

Day 10: An Introduction to TFT and EFT—Dealing directly with cravings and emotional discomfort by tapping on acupressure points to help release feelings, stress, anxiety, and trauma.

Day 11: Rapidly Integrated Transformation Technique (RITT)—Integrating energy techniques with a spiritual component to decrease the intensity of overwhelming emotions.

Day 12: Personal Energy Work—Monitoring how your energy levels rise and fall throughout the day in response to particular people, situations, activities, and foods.


***Going Within***

Day 13: The Inner Child—Breaking free from the shackles of your past by developing the Healthy Adult part of yourself to work with your Inner Child.

Day 14: Right-Hand/Left-Hand Dialogue—Accessing the subconscious feelings and needs that have led to emotional eating.

Day 15: Parts Work—Embracing the Inner Critic—Using self-compassion and parts work techniques (ex: Chair Work, Two Hands Talking, and Right-Hand/Left-Hand Dialogue) to create a dialogue between your Inner Critic and Healthy Adult to better understand and address your unmet needs and desires.


***Personal Housekeeping***

Day 16: Mini Inventory—Increasing your self-awareness and accountability by taking an inventory of your shame-based past experiences, character traits, and personality vulnerabilities.

Day 17: Giving It Away—Sharing the results of your inventory work with someone else to help release the associated shame and guilt, and ultimately find compassion and empathy for your past actions.

Day 18: Making Amends—Taking responsibility by acknowledging the hurt you may have caused others, making amends, and adjusting your future actions.


***Conscious Living***

Day 19: Forgiveness—Letting go of toxic resentments and grudges by forgiving yourself and others.

Day 20: Gratitude—Shifting your attitude from noticing what is wrong to appreciating what is right. (As Meryl notes: “When we are feeling grateful, we aren't reaching for that first compulsive bite.” p. 178)

Day 21: Healthy Eating—Becoming more mindful of your eating practices, habits, and triggers and learning how to feed your your body what it actually wants and needs.


If you're ready to stop eating your heart out, then open it up to this book. You may very well find yourself—that is, your *true* self—on the journey towards a truly satisfying and nourishing life.

[Mary.Life2021 · Rating 2 out of 5]

بهار ۱۴۰۰

کتاب در مورد پرخوری عصبیه ولی به نظرم نویسنده اینقدر غرق در عالم خودش و دستاوردهاشه که یادش رفته کمی هم حرف مفید بزنه و بخش های ماورایی کتاب هم واقعا برای من قابل باور نبود.


there is only one corner of the universe, you can be certain of improving and that's your own self. p 30

instant of thinking vaguely about your dreams and goals, you can visualize specific behaviors and events that you want to occur. p 133

resentments rot the container they are in. p 261

[Dawn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked the second chapter on being self-honest and those assignments were useful. I also liked the eighth chapter on conscious living, those assignments were helpful. All the parts in between were items that felt like they should be done with an AA group (which is part of the basis for this book) or with a therapist. Though, if you feel you need that type of support but would prefer to do it alone, this book does provide a lot of detail on how to work though your emotions in private.

[Stacy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stop Eating Your Heart Out is a fantastic book and I wish it was around 20 years ago! Ms. Beck's book is full of useful resources and exercises for those addicted to food and emotional eating. The book includes accounts of others suffering from emotional eating and the author's personal journey, but I greatly appreciated the balance of that information with the daily exercises. Sometimes self-help books focus so much on stories about the author's clients and offer little concrete, straight forward action items; this book is different. Ms. Beck's book focuses on practical tools needed to move beyond emotional eating. I feel this book is for anyone starting on their recovery or for those who are already on their journey of recovery. I read through the book to complete a review and look forward to returning to it so I can go through the exercises one day at a time. Thank you for writing this book, Ms. Beck!

[Windy · Rating 5 out of 5]

While this book obviously addresses emotional eating, and the author herself has spent decades using and teaching the techniques described within, I feel that her tools are far more wide-reaching. Meryl Hershey Beck's compassion comes through the pages and makes this a very engaging read. I would imagine that a reader in the midst of struggles with emotional overeating would find this book very refreshing and a huge help to overcoming their disorder.

[Cathleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a great non-fiction read. Everyone should read this book. At one point or another we all find ourselves using "food" as the cure. Thanks so much Meryl for writing this book and putting so much of your own personal journey into it. There was so much information to absorb that I will be taking time in the near future to re-read your book.

Again, thanks so much for sharing your journey.

[Andra · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved being able to "preview" this valuable offering while working on the copyediting and feel like I was healed in the process. Whether your relationship with food is an issue or not, there is much to be gained from reading and participating in the encouraging and effective program set forth in Meryl's book. What a real treat!

[Trav Hutchins · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good as a day-by-day program. More of a holistic type book, energy healing and that stuff. Didn't really have the depth that I was think it would.