This may be the first time in reviewing books on Goodreads that I've spent so much time wondering whether to shelve something as fiction or non-fiction. Technically, von Daniken's rambling conjecture-fest in which he leaps wildly from one bizarre conclusion to another is non-fiction but his arguments are based on so many God-of-the-Gaps' and Strawmen and outright gibberish that it's impossible to take any of it seriously even when - blind pigs and truffles and all that - he occasionally says something sensible. At one point he robustly defends nuclear power before spinning off into another wild digression.
I've always considered the ancient aliens theories to be fundamentally based on a racist belief that 'primitive' tribes couldn't possibly have achieved what they did because they weren't white Europeans. It's an ugly, poisonous root of what would otherwise be just another wackily entertaining breeding ground for entertaining flapdoodle. In this book, von Daniken bitches and moans about people calling his theories racist. But he gives no real counter argument and is also sure to tell us (among other toe-curling tropes) that blacks have a wonderful sense of rhythm and make great dancers. It was at that point, I decided I need to stop reading this book in public, especially since I was reading that section on a packed tube train in north London, surrounded by, er, good dancers.
No, I wasn't breaking lockdown rules. That was in August of last year. It took me a LONG time to get all the way through this drivel.
In the later chapters, having long since run out of anything vaguely coherent to say, he's content to just self-righteously sling mud at entire professions (archaeologists and Carl Sagan get the most of it, for obvious reasons) like some embittered old charlatan who's finally been caught out. Yet, 'Signs...' was published just over a decade after his first book Chariots of the Gods (1968) had made him a rich celebrity author and he'd go on churning out his extraterrestrial-based bilge for another three decades. I can't begin to imagine just how exhausting it must be to read anything he wrote from the 1980s onwards if he was this defensive by 1979.
But, let's be honest, he has plenty to be defensive about. It's not just that he's wrong about so many things. It's that his entire methodology is so monumentally cack-handed or wildly dishonest. A little extra reading on him throws up all sorts of criticism of his non-existent research trips and his admission to adding 'a bit of theatre' to his writing.
'Signs...' opens up with him literally believing everything written in the Bible and taking the Old Testament as irrevocable evidence. In fairness, it's not just the Bible. If an ancient people said something, it MUST be true. Even if they didn't say it and he has to infer some alien-related meaning from it.
The entire book is predicated on the Spider-man principle (if the Bible is proof that God exists, then Spider-Man comics are proof that Spider-Man exists), layered with von Daniken's distortions, exaggerations and long jumps of faith. In von Daniken's telling, the Ark of the Covenant is real, and is still hidden away. Also, of course, it's a nuclear reactor. The Israelites really did wander for forty days in the desert and the Manna they ate, that was obviously generated by that handy reactor that the aliens gave Moses. And on and on and on it goes. Don't forget the tanks in Ancient Sumeria, the giants in France, and so on and so on.
His entire worldview is a smugly arrogant assertion that he has the real answers and that people who've dedicated their lives to the study of subjects he skirts around and faffs about with are too stupid to really understand them or so fraudulent they wilfully spout lies for financial gain.
I think that's known as projection.
And I don't think I'll be reading another of his books, either.