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The Modern Girl's Guide to Life
A stylishly smart collection of practical advice for the busy modern woman With information on entertaining, etiquette, housekeeping, basic home repair, decorating, sex, and beauty, this indispensable book has everything today's young woman should know-but may not! The Modern Girl's Guide to Life is a collection of all the helpful tips and secrets that get passed on from generation to generation, but many of us have somehow missed. It's full of practical, definitive advice on the basics -- the day-to-day necessities like finding a bra that fits, balancing a checkbook, making a decent cup of coffee, and hemming a pair of pants. Modern Girl guru Jane Buckingham includes loads of savvy counsel to help us feel more refined, in charge, and together as we navigate the rocky terrain that is twenty-first-century womanhood.
400 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2004
57 people are currently reading
3331 people want to read
About the author
Jane Buckingham
15 books59 followersJane Buckingham is an American author and marketing expert. She is the founder and President of Trendera, a boutique marketing firm specializing in trend forecasting, brand strategy and generational research.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 71 reviews
October 1, 2015
“The Modern Girl’s Guide to Life” tackles many of the real world problems facing young women. Jane has set out to share her authentic experience as an MG and to share it with future generations of MG’s. What is a 401k? How do you get a red wine stain out the carpet? What utensils do I actually NEED in my kitchen? As well as things you might not think of: How to order and drink a Scotch — start with a blend. (Jane’s favorite is MacCallan 12.) What are the rules of football? How do you check the oil in you car? You also learn how to change a tire wearing a cream Cynthia Rowley dress. That’s bad ass, ladies.
One of my favorite chapters in MGG is “Bond, Jane Bond.” I grew up in a small town in Western NC surrounded by men who were “fix-it” types and “sports nuts.” While I learned the basics about car maintenance (checking oil, changing a tire, gapping a spark plug) I had no clue how to play poker (which my husband loves) or the rules of football. My husband usually sat around despairing about my comments surrounding the sport where I’d say “I like the team with the tight pants.” I actually learned the rules of football from the MGG and started playing fantasy football. Getting kicked out of my league by my all male teammates after soundly beating them my first season in was the proof in the pudding.
The MGG covers everything from sports to sexting, inner critics to internships, CPAs to CPR. If you have a question, Jane covers it. MG’s aren’t perfect, and this book isn’t selling perfection. It’s a field guide that teaches us how to survive our hectic modern lives and come out on the other side without mascara running down our face and our blow-out destroyed.
Reading the revised version was a trip down memory lane. There are passages that were a welcome reminder, and new ones which made me nod my head in agreement. That being said, I think the only thing I didn’t agree with Jane on was in the home section. I’ll never be a dark towel and bath mat kind of gal.
One of my favorite chapters in MGG is “Bond, Jane Bond.” I grew up in a small town in Western NC surrounded by men who were “fix-it” types and “sports nuts.” While I learned the basics about car maintenance (checking oil, changing a tire, gapping a spark plug) I had no clue how to play poker (which my husband loves) or the rules of football. My husband usually sat around despairing about my comments surrounding the sport where I’d say “I like the team with the tight pants.” I actually learned the rules of football from the MGG and started playing fantasy football. Getting kicked out of my league by my all male teammates after soundly beating them my first season in was the proof in the pudding.
The MGG covers everything from sports to sexting, inner critics to internships, CPAs to CPR. If you have a question, Jane covers it. MG’s aren’t perfect, and this book isn’t selling perfection. It’s a field guide that teaches us how to survive our hectic modern lives and come out on the other side without mascara running down our face and our blow-out destroyed.
Reading the revised version was a trip down memory lane. There are passages that were a welcome reminder, and new ones which made me nod my head in agreement. That being said, I think the only thing I didn’t agree with Jane on was in the home section. I’ll never be a dark towel and bath mat kind of gal.
July 20, 2007
Do you know what wine goes with Steak? Or how to get a stain out of a carpet? Do you know how to host a dinner party or what cleaning supplies to use on different areas of your apartment?
This book has ALL the answers. It is like the Bible of "How to's" for the modern girl just out of college.
As a recent graduate of college and a amateur member of the real world, this book has saved me many times and I love to give it to my friends as presents.
I think this book is a must have for all girls!
This book has ALL the answers. It is like the Bible of "How to's" for the modern girl just out of college.
As a recent graduate of college and a amateur member of the real world, this book has saved me many times and I love to give it to my friends as presents.
I think this book is a must have for all girls!
November 29, 2012
I find myself buying this book often for high school and college graduates. It tackles so many real life problems, gives easy recipes for party planning and just, generally, has great tips for how to navigate the "real world" as a woman. I find it incredibly fascinating that so many women don't know how to do simple things such as their laundry but this book helps to navigate those waters. If you know a young girl who's about to enter adulthood this is a great book for her!
April 26, 2020
I picked this book up on a lark, thinking it would be a lighthearted read that might teach me how to do random things more efficiently, or fill in some knowledge gaps... eh... not so much. I'm writing this review as I'm reading it (which is why it's long AF).
Oh boy, does my review get even snarkier as I get deeper into the book and learn who the author is. LOL!
Chapter 1 - Kitchen/Pantry + Laundry + Organizing + Bedrooms + Pest Control + DEAR LORD WTF IS THIS CHAPTER SO LONG AND DISCONNECTED
In the intro she mentions that it takes 8 minutes to hard boil an egg, but then gives instructions in the kitchen section that involve boiling them for 15 minutes. Already we're off to a bad start with the editing. (Note: 8 minutes is the low end and will probably give you slightly overcooked for soft-boiled texture, I err on the side of 15 minutes, but I know other people do less time, and it partly depends on your egg size.)
Then she says to refrigerate ketchup but not maple syrup... um, no. Refrigerating ketchup is up for debate, but you definitely need to refrigerate maple syrup to prevent mold/fungus growth.
https://blog.mycology.cornell.edu/200...
The section on stocking your pantry suggests dried beans and is really pushing summer savory. Dried beans are certainly the economical choice, but if you don't know a stocked pantry includes canned soups, sugar, and flour, you probably aren't the type to be cooking your own beans, so buy the canned kind. Also, I cook a LOT, all different kinds of cuisine, and I've used savory so infrequently I can't even name a recipe that calls for it. Just buy what you'll actually use - even better, buy small quantities from bulk spices if available, it's cheaper and you'll get a sense of if you're a person who needs multiple types of cinnamon in your life.
I skimmed over all of her recipes because I didn't care.
I also skimmed over all the stuff about washing clothes, because I live in jeans, tees, and athleisure, and have never needed "permanent press" in the past, and don't foresee needing it in the future. I also don't iron, don't dry clean, and don't use generally use bleach (to preserve the delicate balance in my septic tank). The stain section might be helpful, but I skimmed that too.
The organization section can be boiled down to: get rid of excess junk, and put the remainder in pretty boxes. I haven't read Marie Kondo's book, but from her Netflix show I think her advice is more thorough and helpful.
Next up is how to pick out a pillow and sheets (um, buy ones that feel comfortable and nice?) and how to clean your bathroom (no comment), how to deal with household pests (usefulness regionally dependent, but please don't use glue traps, they are so cruel), and how to stock a medicine cabinet.
Chapter 2 - Entertaining / Dinner Parties
I've never once thrown a formal dinner party, that's just not how my friends roll, but I can see the usefulness in having a menu pre-planned out for you if that's the type of gathering you want to have. Again, I didn't read the recipes.
Also, I'm just going to cop to being a "bad" hostess I guess. If you come to my house for a planned event, you'll have more food than you know what to do with and a plethora of drink choices, but if you drop by my house unannounced I'm not going to feed you chocolates, water crackers, and fancy olives that I've stashed away for such an occasion. I'm also not buying and storing brandy snifters or keeping a stock of premium gin when it's not something I drink. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Quote: "If you'd sooner have your teeth drilled than iron, send out your napkins and tablecloths to be pressed." OMG! Insert the insane laughter from the CinemaSins guy on YouTube here. What? I'm seriously questioning who the intended audience for this book even is.
Set your table, arrange some flowers, turn on some mood lighting (with incandescent bulbs that no longer exist, to replace halogen lamps, apparently). Pick a playlist and a guestlist, create a seating chart, make a pot of coffee, kick everyone out, load the dishwasher, and go to bed. (She literally tells you to go to bed, like somehow if you throw a dinner party you'd forget to do this step.)
There is also a section here about moving your furniture around, which is reasonable, but she implies you should make windows accessible to your smoker friends. OR... maybe don't let your friends smoke in your house? Was this book really only written 5 years ago? That has to be wrong. (Edit: OK, originally published in 2004, must be the Kindle version is from 2015.) AND WHO IS THE TARGET AUDIENCE?? If you don't know how to do laundry or cook eggs are you really up for cooking filet mignon for 8?
INTERLUDE: OMG, I just found out the author was part of the college admissions scandal along with Felicity Huffman/William H. Macy, and Lori Loughlin/Mossimo Giannulli. Hahahahahahaha. OK. I was already well into making fun of this book and all of it's weirdness before that, and I was about to stop because I was getting sick of reading it, but now I have press on.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/23/us/jan...
Back to poking fun.
Chapter 3 - Etiquette
Write thank you notes, but heaven forbid don't do it via email because email is tacky.
Give presents, and give them appropriately. Such an Italian themed dinner basket with The Talented Mr. Ripley soundtrack included. Now, I can't tell you what's on this soundtrack off the top of my head, but is a home or romantic themed gift basket an appropriate venue for the sound track to a murder themed movie?
Wrap your presents, because presentation is everything. EVERYTHING.
Also, I don't care if you use wax paper to wrap a present, but you definitely don't want to use it for baking. You use parchment for baking. Don't confuse them.
https://www.southernliving.com/kitche...
Give tips.
Despite the author's "Modern Girl Tip," this does not mean "to ensure promptness," this is an old wives tale: https://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/...
Dress appropriately for parties, don't bring uninvited guests, don't randomly smoke in people's homes, turn off your phone (LMAO!!!), don't be a bore, know when to arrive and leave, don't wear white to weddings (unless you are the bride). When hosting a party force your guests to mingle, don't create awkward situations by inviting 4 couples and 1 loner, talk to people.
Know your opera and your art. I don't have a funny link for opera, but this is the best way to learn art right here folks:
https://www.boredpanda.com/how-to-rec...
Chapter 4 - Home Decorating
Paint is cheap and easy to swap out, measure before buying furniture, buy what you like, pack judiciously when you move. This all seems pretty basic to me (I skipped the sections on DIY mosaic furniture and installing dimmer switches). I don't have anything snarky to say about this - my walls are builder white, I like them that way, and I spent my childhood watching my mom repaint our dining room and bathroom every year, and after being drafted into those projects I'm never painting my own house. You do you.
Chapter 5 - Look/Feel Fab
I skipped this entire chapter. I'm not interested in 15+ year old fashion advice from this person (I have never needed a suit in my life), or her "health" tips. My own tips - Google "capsule wardrobe" if you want to pare your closet down; YouTube is your friend for exercise, makeup, hair, everything tutorials; Pinterest has tons of recipes; and talk to your doctor about supplements.
This is the part of the book where she teaches you "man stuff," because you can only be a modern girl if you can also do everything a man can do. Fuck that noise (especially since in Ch. 4 there was a bunch of sexist drivel about making your man conform to your household standards of decorating and cleanliness).
Sports/Poker - nope, skipped. I don't buy into the theory you need to know more than scant details about things you find boring and/or have no interest in participating in.
Scotch - "Scotch-blends are much lighter and female-friendly." You should see my face right now. FFS, drink what tastes good to you and what doesn't make you sick. Done and done. FWIW, I prefer straight American whiskey if I'm drinking whiskey on it's own (which isn't often) but I use Bushmills (blended) in homemade Irish Cream because I prefer the mellowness in that application. This is also more interesting than her sexist bullshit: https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/3...
BBQ - marinate, use tongs, be patient. OK.
Power Drills - A DeWalt drill will impress your friends (sorry, inside joke that will only be funny to people not reading this review). But she does mention DeWalt as an option. I'm hopeless when it comes to power tools (ask my 7th grade shop teacher), so I'm going leave this one alone.
Electronics - Hahahahahaha!! Woefully outdated information about plasma TVs, dialup internet, and the size of iPods aside, I'm going to tell you a secret that will solve 90% of your problems. Read.The.Manual. Most of them are even online now, even for older electronics. Barring that, try the CS/Help forums from the manufacturer.
Stick Shift - It's been a long time since I've driven a standard transmission... I guess it's good info to read prior to having someone actually teach you. The only way to really learn this is to practice. Repeatedly.
Tires - changing a flat is a skill you want; I've definitely had to use the stand-on-the-lug-wrench method to loosen lug nuts before. My big problem is that I'm generally not strong/coordinated enough to actually lift the full sized flat tire back into my trunk without entirely wrecking my clothes. :(
Oil - several of her tips are for older cars. Modern cars have sensors and can go much longer than 3K miles. Even she doesn't change her own oil. LOL!
Jump-starting - I skipped this part, because every time I've ever had to jump another car or have my car jumped I've had to look up the proper procedure; I never remember it. Carry jumper cables.
Chapter 7 - Work
She plugs a book by her husband, tells you to network, talk to recruiters, get internships, and take classes. Have a good resume and cover letter - ignore her advice (some of it outdated, some bad). Actually, having skimmed the rest of this chapter, just skip it entirely and go visit Alison over at https://www.askamanager.org for better advice on all things work related.
Chapter 8 - Sex
Take care of yourself, don't denigrate your body, buy well fitting underpinnings*, write him a letter(?), sensual massage, think about what you want from sex from someone you are newly dating or if you end up turning a friend into a fuckbuddy, be vocal (but really, talk to your partner before on this one to see that you're on the same page), be spontaneous, use condoms, use lube, do kegels, masturbate, experiment to your comfort** level, communicate.
*Ignore her advice on how to size your bra, and use this video (not graphic, but probably NSFW): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Jk55...
**Gripe: she talks about pushing boundaries/taboos, but doesn't talk about consent. Threesomes are automatically assumed to between 2 girls and a guy (what the modern girl wants two peens?). All the sex info assumes a hetero relationship. No mention of red flags that one should watch out for with regards to physical/emotional abuse or where to get help.
Chapter 9 - Savvy Survival Skills
I'm not sure why this chapter on finances is titled this way, but don't take financial advice from someone who committed fraud (see above). Find an advisor who is a fiduciary, use money management software to aggregate all of your accounts, create a budget, don't spend more than you make (i.e., don't rack up credit card debt on dumb things, but do have a CC for emergencies, points, etc.), take advantage of 401k matching, check your credit scores, pay bills on time (this seems obvious, but late payments mess with your credit score), save early (behold the power of compound interest).
Taxes - if you are just out of college you don't need a CPA (WTF), you need TurboTax (or another tax prep software). Again, WHO IS THE AUDIENCE FOR THIS BOOK?
Cars - your best bet these days is to do all the internet research and then email their internet sales manager.
Buying Art/Jewelry/Houses - Sigh. I just can't...
Home Improvements - fishing your rings out of a drain isn't a home improvement. I am now officially "Chidi and the 'I' in Jeremy Bearimy broken." None of these minor plumping fixes are "improvements."
Travel - OMG this chapter is all over the place. Know policies and costs. Don't post your destination on FB and leave your doors unlocked. Get a pet sitter. Pack smart. Walk around so you don't get clots.
Misc: Insure yourself and your stuff. Have a will (with financial and medical powers of attorney). Learn basic first aid, CPR (I don't think rescue breathing is done anymore), call 911, etc.
Fight off attackers (I could write a LOT about this...).
Finally getting to actual emergency stuff. It's two weeks ready these days, up from what used to be 3 days: https://hls.wyo.gov/being-prepared/tw...
(We're all Covid19 SIP right now, do you feel ready?)
Fin
Oh thank god, this fucking book ended at 82% on my Kindle. What a nightmare slog.
So, yeah, not a fan of this book. And once again, I don't know who the target audience is (some sort of naïve twenty something who can't cook soup or figure out how to buy sheets but might want to buy a $500,000 house while attending white tie cocktail parties... so Paris Hilton circa 2005 maybe?). It's definitely not me, that's for sure.
I see on Amazon this was revised at some point to include social media safety (not my edition), but I suspect they didn't cut out all the other outdated stuff.
In any case, all of the information in this book can be found from better, higher quality, more reliable sources elsewhere.
Oh boy, does my review get even snarkier as I get deeper into the book and learn who the author is. LOL!
Chapter 1 - Kitchen/Pantry + Laundry + Organizing + Bedrooms + Pest Control + DEAR LORD WTF IS THIS CHAPTER SO LONG AND DISCONNECTED
In the intro she mentions that it takes 8 minutes to hard boil an egg, but then gives instructions in the kitchen section that involve boiling them for 15 minutes. Already we're off to a bad start with the editing. (Note: 8 minutes is the low end and will probably give you slightly overcooked for soft-boiled texture, I err on the side of 15 minutes, but I know other people do less time, and it partly depends on your egg size.)
Then she says to refrigerate ketchup but not maple syrup... um, no. Refrigerating ketchup is up for debate, but you definitely need to refrigerate maple syrup to prevent mold/fungus growth.
https://blog.mycology.cornell.edu/200...
The section on stocking your pantry suggests dried beans and is really pushing summer savory. Dried beans are certainly the economical choice, but if you don't know a stocked pantry includes canned soups, sugar, and flour, you probably aren't the type to be cooking your own beans, so buy the canned kind. Also, I cook a LOT, all different kinds of cuisine, and I've used savory so infrequently I can't even name a recipe that calls for it. Just buy what you'll actually use - even better, buy small quantities from bulk spices if available, it's cheaper and you'll get a sense of if you're a person who needs multiple types of cinnamon in your life.
I skimmed over all of her recipes because I didn't care.
I also skimmed over all the stuff about washing clothes, because I live in jeans, tees, and athleisure, and have never needed "permanent press" in the past, and don't foresee needing it in the future. I also don't iron, don't dry clean, and don't use generally use bleach (to preserve the delicate balance in my septic tank). The stain section might be helpful, but I skimmed that too.
The organization section can be boiled down to: get rid of excess junk, and put the remainder in pretty boxes. I haven't read Marie Kondo's book, but from her Netflix show I think her advice is more thorough and helpful.
Next up is how to pick out a pillow and sheets (um, buy ones that feel comfortable and nice?) and how to clean your bathroom (no comment), how to deal with household pests (usefulness regionally dependent, but please don't use glue traps, they are so cruel), and how to stock a medicine cabinet.
Chapter 2 - Entertaining / Dinner Parties
I've never once thrown a formal dinner party, that's just not how my friends roll, but I can see the usefulness in having a menu pre-planned out for you if that's the type of gathering you want to have. Again, I didn't read the recipes.
Also, I'm just going to cop to being a "bad" hostess I guess. If you come to my house for a planned event, you'll have more food than you know what to do with and a plethora of drink choices, but if you drop by my house unannounced I'm not going to feed you chocolates, water crackers, and fancy olives that I've stashed away for such an occasion. I'm also not buying and storing brandy snifters or keeping a stock of premium gin when it's not something I drink. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Quote: "If you'd sooner have your teeth drilled than iron, send out your napkins and tablecloths to be pressed." OMG! Insert the insane laughter from the CinemaSins guy on YouTube here. What? I'm seriously questioning who the intended audience for this book even is.
Set your table, arrange some flowers, turn on some mood lighting (with incandescent bulbs that no longer exist, to replace halogen lamps, apparently). Pick a playlist and a guestlist, create a seating chart, make a pot of coffee, kick everyone out, load the dishwasher, and go to bed. (She literally tells you to go to bed, like somehow if you throw a dinner party you'd forget to do this step.)
There is also a section here about moving your furniture around, which is reasonable, but she implies you should make windows accessible to your smoker friends. OR... maybe don't let your friends smoke in your house? Was this book really only written 5 years ago? That has to be wrong. (Edit: OK, originally published in 2004, must be the Kindle version is from 2015.) AND WHO IS THE TARGET AUDIENCE?? If you don't know how to do laundry or cook eggs are you really up for cooking filet mignon for 8?
INTERLUDE: OMG, I just found out the author was part of the college admissions scandal along with Felicity Huffman/William H. Macy, and Lori Loughlin/Mossimo Giannulli. Hahahahahahaha. OK. I was already well into making fun of this book and all of it's weirdness before that, and I was about to stop because I was getting sick of reading it, but now I have press on.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/23/us/jan...
Back to poking fun.
Chapter 3 - Etiquette
Write thank you notes, but heaven forbid don't do it via email because email is tacky.
Give presents, and give them appropriately. Such an Italian themed dinner basket with The Talented Mr. Ripley soundtrack included. Now, I can't tell you what's on this soundtrack off the top of my head, but is a home or romantic themed gift basket an appropriate venue for the sound track to a murder themed movie?
Wrap your presents, because presentation is everything. EVERYTHING.
Also, I don't care if you use wax paper to wrap a present, but you definitely don't want to use it for baking. You use parchment for baking. Don't confuse them.
https://www.southernliving.com/kitche...
Give tips.
Despite the author's "Modern Girl Tip," this does not mean "to ensure promptness," this is an old wives tale: https://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/...
Dress appropriately for parties, don't bring uninvited guests, don't randomly smoke in people's homes, turn off your phone (LMAO!!!), don't be a bore, know when to arrive and leave, don't wear white to weddings (unless you are the bride). When hosting a party force your guests to mingle, don't create awkward situations by inviting 4 couples and 1 loner, talk to people.
Know your opera and your art. I don't have a funny link for opera, but this is the best way to learn art right here folks:
https://www.boredpanda.com/how-to-rec...
Chapter 4 - Home Decorating
Paint is cheap and easy to swap out, measure before buying furniture, buy what you like, pack judiciously when you move. This all seems pretty basic to me (I skipped the sections on DIY mosaic furniture and installing dimmer switches). I don't have anything snarky to say about this - my walls are builder white, I like them that way, and I spent my childhood watching my mom repaint our dining room and bathroom every year, and after being drafted into those projects I'm never painting my own house. You do you.
Chapter 5 - Look/Feel Fab
I skipped this entire chapter. I'm not interested in 15+ year old fashion advice from this person (I have never needed a suit in my life), or her "health" tips. My own tips - Google "capsule wardrobe" if you want to pare your closet down; YouTube is your friend for exercise, makeup, hair, everything tutorials; Pinterest has tons of recipes; and talk to your doctor about supplements.
This is the part of the book where she teaches you "man stuff," because you can only be a modern girl if you can also do everything a man can do. Fuck that noise (especially since in Ch. 4 there was a bunch of sexist drivel about making your man conform to your household standards of decorating and cleanliness).
Sports/Poker - nope, skipped. I don't buy into the theory you need to know more than scant details about things you find boring and/or have no interest in participating in.
Scotch - "Scotch-blends are much lighter and female-friendly." You should see my face right now. FFS, drink what tastes good to you and what doesn't make you sick. Done and done. FWIW, I prefer straight American whiskey if I'm drinking whiskey on it's own (which isn't often) but I use Bushmills (blended) in homemade Irish Cream because I prefer the mellowness in that application. This is also more interesting than her sexist bullshit: https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/3...
BBQ - marinate, use tongs, be patient. OK.
Power Drills - A DeWalt drill will impress your friends (sorry, inside joke that will only be funny to people not reading this review). But she does mention DeWalt as an option. I'm hopeless when it comes to power tools (ask my 7th grade shop teacher), so I'm going leave this one alone.
Electronics - Hahahahahaha!! Woefully outdated information about plasma TVs, dialup internet, and the size of iPods aside, I'm going to tell you a secret that will solve 90% of your problems. Read.The.Manual. Most of them are even online now, even for older electronics. Barring that, try the CS/Help forums from the manufacturer.
Stick Shift - It's been a long time since I've driven a standard transmission... I guess it's good info to read prior to having someone actually teach you. The only way to really learn this is to practice. Repeatedly.
Tires - changing a flat is a skill you want; I've definitely had to use the stand-on-the-lug-wrench method to loosen lug nuts before. My big problem is that I'm generally not strong/coordinated enough to actually lift the full sized flat tire back into my trunk without entirely wrecking my clothes. :(
Oil - several of her tips are for older cars. Modern cars have sensors and can go much longer than 3K miles. Even she doesn't change her own oil. LOL!
Jump-starting - I skipped this part, because every time I've ever had to jump another car or have my car jumped I've had to look up the proper procedure; I never remember it. Carry jumper cables.
Chapter 7 - Work
She plugs a book by her husband, tells you to network, talk to recruiters, get internships, and take classes. Have a good resume and cover letter - ignore her advice (some of it outdated, some bad). Actually, having skimmed the rest of this chapter, just skip it entirely and go visit Alison over at https://www.askamanager.org for better advice on all things work related.
Chapter 8 - Sex
Take care of yourself, don't denigrate your body, buy well fitting underpinnings*, write him a letter(?), sensual massage, think about what you want from sex from someone you are newly dating or if you end up turning a friend into a fuckbuddy, be vocal (but really, talk to your partner before on this one to see that you're on the same page), be spontaneous, use condoms, use lube, do kegels, masturbate, experiment to your comfort** level, communicate.
*Ignore her advice on how to size your bra, and use this video (not graphic, but probably NSFW): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Jk55...
**Gripe: she talks about pushing boundaries/taboos, but doesn't talk about consent. Threesomes are automatically assumed to between 2 girls and a guy (what the modern girl wants two peens?). All the sex info assumes a hetero relationship. No mention of red flags that one should watch out for with regards to physical/emotional abuse or where to get help.
Chapter 9 - Savvy Survival Skills
I'm not sure why this chapter on finances is titled this way, but don't take financial advice from someone who committed fraud (see above). Find an advisor who is a fiduciary, use money management software to aggregate all of your accounts, create a budget, don't spend more than you make (i.e., don't rack up credit card debt on dumb things, but do have a CC for emergencies, points, etc.), take advantage of 401k matching, check your credit scores, pay bills on time (this seems obvious, but late payments mess with your credit score), save early (behold the power of compound interest).
Taxes - if you are just out of college you don't need a CPA (WTF), you need TurboTax (or another tax prep software). Again, WHO IS THE AUDIENCE FOR THIS BOOK?
Cars - your best bet these days is to do all the internet research and then email their internet sales manager.
Buying Art/Jewelry/Houses - Sigh. I just can't...
Home Improvements - fishing your rings out of a drain isn't a home improvement. I am now officially "Chidi and the 'I' in Jeremy Bearimy broken." None of these minor plumping fixes are "improvements."
Travel - OMG this chapter is all over the place. Know policies and costs. Don't post your destination on FB and leave your doors unlocked. Get a pet sitter. Pack smart. Walk around so you don't get clots.
Misc: Insure yourself and your stuff. Have a will (with financial and medical powers of attorney). Learn basic first aid, CPR (I don't think rescue breathing is done anymore), call 911, etc.
Fight off attackers (I could write a LOT about this...).
Finally getting to actual emergency stuff. It's two weeks ready these days, up from what used to be 3 days: https://hls.wyo.gov/being-prepared/tw...
(We're all Covid19 SIP right now, do you feel ready?)
Fin
Oh thank god, this fucking book ended at 82% on my Kindle. What a nightmare slog.
So, yeah, not a fan of this book. And once again, I don't know who the target audience is (some sort of naïve twenty something who can't cook soup or figure out how to buy sheets but might want to buy a $500,000 house while attending white tie cocktail parties... so Paris Hilton circa 2005 maybe?). It's definitely not me, that's for sure.
I see on Amazon this was revised at some point to include social media safety (not my edition), but I suspect they didn't cut out all the other outdated stuff.
In any case, all of the information in this book can be found from better, higher quality, more reliable sources elsewhere.
February 12, 2024
Omg, this was awful.
Firstly - who is this aimed at? It felt like it was aimed at a newly qualified women, who is making the transition from student into adulthood and is working in some predominately financial/law/management role; and is at a loss of how to do anything. From discussing art (there is a quote that the author recommends using "how derivative") to how to host a dinner party.
Secondly, the misogyny!! Clearly this book is very of its time. Some of the chapters/sections including the bit of Whiskey is so misogynistic - and this comes from a women who does actually like Whiskey and not just the blended "women styles". This was very patronising.
Thirdly, all of the relationship information is very heterosexual leaning and some of the "sexual taboos" lean heavily into this. (Threesomes of one man and two women anyone?).
Fourthly this book is very much for Americans and no one else. The financial information (401k??), the vast majority of the references. Just not much appeal for anyone outside of the US in the early 2000s.
Overall, this book was not for me; it is dated and much of the information can be found in better sources without a philosophical/political bent.
Firstly - who is this aimed at? It felt like it was aimed at a newly qualified women, who is making the transition from student into adulthood and is working in some predominately financial/law/management role; and is at a loss of how to do anything. From discussing art (there is a quote that the author recommends using "how derivative") to how to host a dinner party.
Secondly, the misogyny!! Clearly this book is very of its time. Some of the chapters/sections including the bit of Whiskey is so misogynistic - and this comes from a women who does actually like Whiskey and not just the blended "women styles". This was very patronising.
Thirdly, all of the relationship information is very heterosexual leaning and some of the "sexual taboos" lean heavily into this. (Threesomes of one man and two women anyone?).
Fourthly this book is very much for Americans and no one else. The financial information (401k??), the vast majority of the references. Just not much appeal for anyone outside of the US in the early 2000s.
Overall, this book was not for me; it is dated and much of the information can be found in better sources without a philosophical/political bent.
September 11, 2025
Useful! Take what u need, leave what u dont
September 30, 2011
This book was very informative. It put my mind at ease and it felt like someone was literally walking with me and helping me out. I gave it a four because very few things were inaccurate. I would still recommend this book to girls out there.
Read
January 9, 2009a wonderful gift to any girl about to start on her own. excellent little guide for the freshman we all were once.
May 8, 2009
Every woman should own this book.
February 10, 2018
You have a great section on apps on how to protect yourself from strangers, but sadly strangers aren't the ones most likely to hurt women.
relationship headlines: feeling sexier, buying lingerie, looking better naked, give Your Man a massage, being horny, what Men love most in bed, be the best He's ever had, & being kinky
What about 'is he selfish in bed?' 'does he refuse to meet your parents' 'does he drink or do drugs?' 'what if you catch him cheating?' I know the point of this book isn't relationships, but if you're going to cover IRAs, 401(k)s, detailed plans on how to host a dinner party, what men love most in bed, and how to change a spare tire, I think basic relationship things should also be addressed.
How about relationship deal-breakers? How about, "if he puts you down every now and then, how to respond? If he calls you names, won't work and won't help with anything", you should be concerned. Some women focused on 'getting and keeping that Man' will have their eyes opened. "If he hits you once, you should get out of the relationship" should be in this book. 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime(1). How about opening up the dialogue to something that could save that third woman's life?
You don't have to make the book a downer, full of depressing statistics, but at least have a paragraph on intimate partner emotional, physical violence and abuse. There isn't even the word abuse in the index in the back. It might not apply to the first two girls reading this, but it could be the difference between life and death for the third girl.
(1) https://ncadv.org/statistics
relationship headlines: feeling sexier, buying lingerie, looking better naked, give Your Man a massage, being horny, what Men love most in bed, be the best He's ever had, & being kinky
What about 'is he selfish in bed?' 'does he refuse to meet your parents' 'does he drink or do drugs?' 'what if you catch him cheating?' I know the point of this book isn't relationships, but if you're going to cover IRAs, 401(k)s, detailed plans on how to host a dinner party, what men love most in bed, and how to change a spare tire, I think basic relationship things should also be addressed.
How about relationship deal-breakers? How about, "if he puts you down every now and then, how to respond? If he calls you names, won't work and won't help with anything", you should be concerned. Some women focused on 'getting and keeping that Man' will have their eyes opened. "If he hits you once, you should get out of the relationship" should be in this book. 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime(1). How about opening up the dialogue to something that could save that third woman's life?
You don't have to make the book a downer, full of depressing statistics, but at least have a paragraph on intimate partner emotional, physical violence and abuse. There isn't even the word abuse in the index in the back. It might not apply to the first two girls reading this, but it could be the difference between life and death for the third girl.
(1) https://ncadv.org/statistics
January 9, 2023
I had snagged this from a Goodwill ages ago but hadn’t gotten to reading it until my holiday vacation. I thought it may inspire some resolutions for the new year, with all it’s sound advice on modern women living.
As I read, I started to notice just how quickly this guide, published in 2004, was getting dated. I was cool with overlooking some of the references (so much Sex and the City, Palms (ie, Palm Pilots) and Cosmo) but there was definitely a sexist tone that implies women should be in charge of domestics like housekeeping, hosting parties, and “looking and feeling fabulous”, despite it’s attempt discuss the “modern woman.” To be fair, women (and gender roles!) have come a long way in almost 20 years, so I am taking that into consideration, but truly it dulled the edginess intended for this guide.
On the one hand, there is a lot of sound advice for anyone looking to “adult”- a whole section on how to host a party, stock your bar, basic kitchen items you really need, how to get stains out of anything, how to DIY, etc. so if you haven’t learned those things yet, this is a good starting point. I would suggest however that there are more current guides that probably would be more updated or accurate. More outdated examples would include email/thank you note etiquette, modern girl wardrobes, carrying a camera with you shopping, etc.
Overall- if you find a copy and need a “how to adult” guide, give it a glance. Otherwise? I would suggest there are better, more modern guides for all kinds out there.
As I read, I started to notice just how quickly this guide, published in 2004, was getting dated. I was cool with overlooking some of the references (so much Sex and the City, Palms (ie, Palm Pilots) and Cosmo) but there was definitely a sexist tone that implies women should be in charge of domestics like housekeeping, hosting parties, and “looking and feeling fabulous”, despite it’s attempt discuss the “modern woman.” To be fair, women (and gender roles!) have come a long way in almost 20 years, so I am taking that into consideration, but truly it dulled the edginess intended for this guide.
On the one hand, there is a lot of sound advice for anyone looking to “adult”- a whole section on how to host a party, stock your bar, basic kitchen items you really need, how to get stains out of anything, how to DIY, etc. so if you haven’t learned those things yet, this is a good starting point. I would suggest however that there are more current guides that probably would be more updated or accurate. More outdated examples would include email/thank you note etiquette, modern girl wardrobes, carrying a camera with you shopping, etc.
Overall- if you find a copy and need a “how to adult” guide, give it a glance. Otherwise? I would suggest there are better, more modern guides for all kinds out there.
October 7, 2017
Another one of those books that have been sitting on my shelf for ages. I think I may have read it many years ago but I figured it would be a good refresher. There is a lot of good advice in here. It could come in handy again in the future, but there is a lot that is pretty outdated. Well, at least the technology aspects. It's amazing how much things change in 13 years! Still, there are a lot of subjects covered in here from being a good hostess to sports to life-saving info. Ms. Buckingham certainly complied a great list for modern gals!
June 20, 2023
7.5/10
I only read this because the cover was so 'fashion-core' and iconic. It's filled with random knowledge that's not even necessarily gender-specific. It makes sense for about 60 percent of the thing, but then it becomes about, like, Roth IRAs or something. Still a very charming, useful idea for a book.
I only read this because the cover was so 'fashion-core' and iconic. It's filled with random knowledge that's not even necessarily gender-specific. It makes sense for about 60 percent of the thing, but then it becomes about, like, Roth IRAs or something. Still a very charming, useful idea for a book.
November 9, 2017
I use this more as a reference... Didn't ever end out reading all of it. Interesting and handy to have around, but most info could be easily googled.
July 3, 2019
This book taught me how to fold a fitted sheet!
October 28, 2019
Very handy! Recipes to impress people, sex advice, interview pointers, insurance help....it's all here.
May 8, 2020
A must have!
October 7, 2022
ITS SO GOOD.
September 7, 2012
I picked this book up because I thought it would be a quick, fun read, and maybe it would teach me some of the more girly facts of life that I've been missing out on just trying to be myself. Like, I've never been thrilled with makeup and couldn't tell you the correct order to put on powder and concealer. For the record, I still don't know, this book didn't cover that.
The first half of the book was interesting. After that, well I found it was becoming more and more of a chore to read. The first half had some recipes I'd be interested in trying out, along with some cleaning tips that I will definitely be taking advantage of. If I were to take a picture of my desk right now, you would understand why I need all the cleaning advice I can get.
After a while, though, you can start to see that a good portion of this book is not about making your own life easier, but things to do that will impress your man. If you've read my article on wives, you'll already know my stance on this. There were points where I felt downright insulted by this book, like it was suggesting that because I was a MG, I was somehow less than a man in certain areas. One of those being technology. To quote from the book: "In a pinch, I could do just about anything that a man can do - from using a power drill to changing a tire to programming a VCR." Programming a VCR? I was unaware that pushing buttons on a machine was so difficult that only a man could do it. Either that, or the author is suggesting that the typical modern girl should at least pretend to be stupid enough that she doesn't know how to do it herself. Wink, wink, what the quack? To be fair, there wasn't a man around the house when I grew up, so when it comes to electronics and tools, I was always taking care of those things. Most of the furniture in my house, assembled myself, except two handmade bookcases, one from my father when I was very little and one from my brother in law as a birthday present to take with me when I started college. The computer desk I'm sitting at, I assembled myself. My computer... well, I didn't build it myself, but I have upgraded internal components myself as necessary. Not so much this one as one of my older ones which needed a new modem, among other things. So, yes, I'm a little insulted by the implication that girls shouldn't necessarily know how to program a VCR. Oh, according to the book, I must be a man anyway, because I have all the gadgets in my house, and I'm definitely a piler. "It's no mystery man love making piles." I'm a terrible excuse for a woman. Make sure you give your man a little down-south action after a couple of days even if you aren't giving up the full goods, because its all about keeping the man happy, no matter how much of a jerk he may turn out to be. Honestly, I didn't even know it was possible to be so insulted by a book.
Oh, and the subject of sports should have been left out altogether, as it is clearly not her forte. I played basketball for eight years, and I don't remember ever scoring a field goal. I'm unsure how that would work, to be honest. There's no field. This book as a whole is about as successful as trying to make a field goal in basketball.
The first half of the book was interesting. After that, well I found it was becoming more and more of a chore to read. The first half had some recipes I'd be interested in trying out, along with some cleaning tips that I will definitely be taking advantage of. If I were to take a picture of my desk right now, you would understand why I need all the cleaning advice I can get.
After a while, though, you can start to see that a good portion of this book is not about making your own life easier, but things to do that will impress your man. If you've read my article on wives, you'll already know my stance on this. There were points where I felt downright insulted by this book, like it was suggesting that because I was a MG, I was somehow less than a man in certain areas. One of those being technology. To quote from the book: "In a pinch, I could do just about anything that a man can do - from using a power drill to changing a tire to programming a VCR." Programming a VCR? I was unaware that pushing buttons on a machine was so difficult that only a man could do it. Either that, or the author is suggesting that the typical modern girl should at least pretend to be stupid enough that she doesn't know how to do it herself. Wink, wink, what the quack? To be fair, there wasn't a man around the house when I grew up, so when it comes to electronics and tools, I was always taking care of those things. Most of the furniture in my house, assembled myself, except two handmade bookcases, one from my father when I was very little and one from my brother in law as a birthday present to take with me when I started college. The computer desk I'm sitting at, I assembled myself. My computer... well, I didn't build it myself, but I have upgraded internal components myself as necessary. Not so much this one as one of my older ones which needed a new modem, among other things. So, yes, I'm a little insulted by the implication that girls shouldn't necessarily know how to program a VCR. Oh, according to the book, I must be a man anyway, because I have all the gadgets in my house, and I'm definitely a piler. "It's no mystery man love making piles." I'm a terrible excuse for a woman. Make sure you give your man a little down-south action after a couple of days even if you aren't giving up the full goods, because its all about keeping the man happy, no matter how much of a jerk he may turn out to be. Honestly, I didn't even know it was possible to be so insulted by a book.
Oh, and the subject of sports should have been left out altogether, as it is clearly not her forte. I played basketball for eight years, and I don't remember ever scoring a field goal. I'm unsure how that would work, to be honest. There's no field. This book as a whole is about as successful as trying to make a field goal in basketball.
October 16, 2011
I wrote a blog post about this and Three Black Skirts : All You Need To Survive that pretty much sums up my overall feelings about this book. There are some very helpful tips and tricks in this book: the last chapter discusses everything from smart investing to how to fix a leak to how to defend yourself from an attacker. Overall, though I'm a little confused as to whether I'm supposed to just be a bad-ass Modern Girl or just pretend to be one until some hulking man can save me from myself so I can go buy shoes.
June 21, 2012
This was a fun, quick read. Some things covered were new to me, where others seemed like flat-out common sense. My largest criticism is that it isn't really written for a "normal" young adult. For example: the recipes she gives readers have weird French words I've never even heard of. It's unlikely my local grocer would carry them, nor would I even know where to look. I also felt many of the products boosted were not within the realistic budget of a young adult.
With that said, I do believe Jane Buckingham has a good novel for young adults here as a "how-to" guide...if nothing else, what they should be looking forward to in their late twenties. I would recommend this perhaps as a graduation gift to someone graduating high school or college.
With that said, I do believe Jane Buckingham has a good novel for young adults here as a "how-to" guide...if nothing else, what they should be looking forward to in their late twenties. I would recommend this perhaps as a graduation gift to someone graduating high school or college.
March 10, 2014
This is a must have in every modern girl's library. It actually should be called Modern's Girl's BIBLE because you'll refer to it religiously.
Packed with tons of information from, Things You Need in Your Kitchen to How to Change a Tire in Stilettos, this book has educated me in more ways than one. It's filled with information on entertaining, etiquette, housekeeping, basic home repair, decorating, sex and beauty. Jane Buckingham's tips are so helpful that I wish I could carry this book with me everywhere.
So, don't be fooled by the pretty packaging as it's resourcefulness shines through. There isn't much more to say besides,"pick up your copy today". Trust that it's well-worth it.
Also makes a great gift for your best girlfriends.
Packed with tons of information from, Things You Need in Your Kitchen to How to Change a Tire in Stilettos, this book has educated me in more ways than one. It's filled with information on entertaining, etiquette, housekeeping, basic home repair, decorating, sex and beauty. Jane Buckingham's tips are so helpful that I wish I could carry this book with me everywhere.
So, don't be fooled by the pretty packaging as it's resourcefulness shines through. There isn't much more to say besides,"pick up your copy today". Trust that it's well-worth it.
Also makes a great gift for your best girlfriends.
September 28, 2009
The girl's bible about how to's.
Taken from Lindsey (http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/20...)
Do you know what wine goes with Steak? Or how to get a stain out of a carpet? Do you know how to host a dinner party or what cleaning supplies to use on different areas of your apartment?
This book has ALL the answers. It is like the Bible of "How to's" for the modern girl just out of college.
As a recent graduate of college and a amateur member of the real world, this book has saved me many times and I love to give it to my friends as presents.
I think this book is a must have for all girls!...less
Taken from Lindsey (http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/20...)
Do you know what wine goes with Steak? Or how to get a stain out of a carpet? Do you know how to host a dinner party or what cleaning supplies to use on different areas of your apartment?
This book has ALL the answers. It is like the Bible of "How to's" for the modern girl just out of college.
As a recent graduate of college and a amateur member of the real world, this book has saved me many times and I love to give it to my friends as presents.
I think this book is a must have for all girls!...less
October 10, 2015
It contains some pertinent advice for both day-to-day occurrences and less usual events, like weddings or going to the opera. However, specific advice relating to actual problems (food - try
The 4-Hour Body: An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat-Loss, Incredible Sex, and Becoming Superhuman
instead - sleep, a different personality) is often trivial, superficial or of the "miracle product(s)" variety. The tone is generally peppy and sometimes catty and overall the tangential comments are fairly shallow.
May 17, 2022
This is an excellent book—I highly recommend this book to anyone (whom can find it useful since it’s directed toward females) starting out with living alone or with roommates or in a dorm.
The book offers practical advice on everyday living concerns such as: how to clean, cook, do laundry, take your clothing to the dry cleaners, basic etiquette and such.
The book can be summed up as advice for a clueless girl becoming independent with adult responsibilities.
Recommend it to college students, first time apartment buyers and anyone living in the adult world who can not afford staff to do it for them.
The book offers practical advice on everyday living concerns such as: how to clean, cook, do laundry, take your clothing to the dry cleaners, basic etiquette and such.
The book can be summed up as advice for a clueless girl becoming independent with adult responsibilities.
Recommend it to college students, first time apartment buyers and anyone living in the adult world who can not afford staff to do it for them.
May 31, 2016
An easy breezy read chock full of helpful information. The author doesn't try too hard to be funny which I appreciated. Some other books try too hard to be like a conversation with a good girlfriend. I thought the author struck the right tone.
This is a thick book. There are probably sections you don't need or won't read, but that's life. Take what applies to you and discard the rest. She covers everything from household management to personal finance. It's useful for young adults and even not so young adults like me. We can always use good advice whatever our age.
This is a thick book. There are probably sections you don't need or won't read, but that's life. Take what applies to you and discard the rest. She covers everything from household management to personal finance. It's useful for young adults and even not so young adults like me. We can always use good advice whatever our age.
December 5, 2007
The Modern Girl's Guide to Life is not just a title - it's the perfect description. It's a practical book, filled with good advice, tips, and tricks. Sure, it doesn't cover everything, but show me a book that does. Even the dictionary is missing a few choice words (truthiness not being one of them; thank you, Stephen Colbert!). However, what it does have covers a great deal of the basics and a few complexities of life.
April 15, 2024
Powerful | Helpful | Entertaining
I read this book when I graduated high school. Loved all the helpful tips and tricks it offered as an adult entering into a new phase of my life. I have recently purchased the fully Revised and Updated version to refresh and refine my skills as I navigate my 30’s. I am so enjoying referring back to this book as a woman in the 21st century.
Highly recommended for ladies to add this to their collection.
I read this book when I graduated high school. Loved all the helpful tips and tricks it offered as an adult entering into a new phase of my life. I have recently purchased the fully Revised and Updated version to refresh and refine my skills as I navigate my 30’s. I am so enjoying referring back to this book as a woman in the 21st century.
Highly recommended for ladies to add this to their collection.
November 22, 2008
I like this one a lot. Reading lifestyle guides has been one of my guilty pleasures and this is really complete and nicely written.
The only flaw of this book is that sometimes it drifts too much into the girly lookism side. And that it automatically assumes that you're heterosexual (not every modern girl cares about a whole chapter about "their man").
The only flaw of this book is that sometimes it drifts too much into the girly lookism side. And that it automatically assumes that you're heterosexual (not every modern girl cares about a whole chapter about "their man").
January 20, 2009
The best one of these "21st century chick guides to everything under the sun" I've read (and yes, I admit I've read a few). Her advice never veers on the ridiculous or silly. And the way she approaches finances (which are as opaque to me as the rules of football) is excellent--very well explained. You genuinely feel as though she's rooting for you.
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