A Smart Girl's Guide to Boys: Surviving Crushes, Staying True to Yourself & Other Stuff

American Girl Library

by Nancy Holyoke, Bonnie Timmons (Illustrator)

Like the Care and Keeping of You, this book will help girls and parents start important conversations when the whole class is abuzz with "Who Likes Who" fever. Unlike the teen titles on the market that focus on dating and romance, this book addresses a girl's very first forays into the "boy/girl world" and gives her wise, warm advice. Help! letters from girls--collected from our AmericanGirl magazine files--and quizzes are included, too.

Genres: Nonfiction, Childrens, Middle Grade, Self Help, Reference, Guides, Parenting

112 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2001

Reviews

[Lena · Rating 2 out of 5]

did not work, am now a lesbian

[RogueHireling · Rating 3 out of 5]

Again very mainstream look at boyfriends with a rather 1950s slant.
Probably good for 10-12 years old girls who are actually interested in boyfriends. Gives fairly good advice.
Would prefer some more parts about personal space and girls being in charge of their own body etc, but its a gentle starting point.
Also wasn't terribly happy about the inclusions of other kids opinions on what they liked about the opposite sex. Said much more about our culture then what it means to be a boyfriend/girlfriend.

[Percy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can explain, guys.

An unintentionally hilarious self-help book. Kind of like being given advice from an eight year old pickup artist. Some of my favourite pieces of advice were to ask boys if they played the saxophone as an opening line and “if a boy calls you ‘psycho’ BUT he unfreezes you in freeze tag, then he probably likes you.

Also, a big fuck you to Andrew, age 13, who says: “the most annoying thing is that sparkly eyeshadow. Makeup should be worn in moderation.”

This book did have some good advice on toxic and abusive relationships though, as well as self-love and self-worth and would be a good read for any preteen who’s beginning to become interested in romance.

[$hanel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book teaches all girls about boys, if they have a crush on you and how to get one of them! This book taught me how to get my boyfriend and how to forget about my old boyfriends. This book teaches you what love really is and to be true to yourself. (My message is not to let a stupid boyfriend get to you.:)

[dd · Rating 1 out of 5]

i don’t think this could possibly be any more inaccurate.... also not all girls like boys

[Teagan · Rating 3 out of 5]

honestly kinda embarrassed to even log this as a 23 year old but it’s so grounding and nostalgic… girlhood never changes ig. I remember feeling shame when I would sneak read it at the library as a kid! but honestly, this is a smart girls guide to social interaction period.

there are some things in there that are outdated, I would love to help w the 2024 rewrite! that’s all

[catherine ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Best conversation starter: "I wish they'd teach us more about Vikings."
Hilarious to read this in Michael's while my mom shopped for arts and crafts.

[Emma]

I read this in elementary/middle school and then didn’t date until I was 19, so. Take it or leave it!!!!!!!

[DALZ]

"Yes, beauty counts with boys. And yes, not all girls have it."
so excited to approach the delicate world of sixth-grade dating with new insight

[cj · Rating 5 out of 5]

i learnt a lot

[Jillian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Looking back, I'm terribly amused that I owned (still own, maybe?) this book. Who purchased it for me? It had to have been my mom since I always remember having the similar books on money and friendship. It's laughable that my feminist mother bought me a guide to boys, but stranger things have happened.

As far as I remember, this book had fairly good advice. Of course, it's terribly heteronormative and assumes that a boy is the only person a girl could possibly like. In 2019, that's annoying, but I can cut it some slack because it is also American Girls so... Recommended? Not really. I think the young girls today are smart enough to deal with boys without this guide. And if they need guidance, give them a book that teaches them about the patriarchy and toxic masculinity. (Is there a middle-school aged book for that? If not, we need to get on it!)

[Sherry]

i decided to read this (and i really did read it) bc of a tumblr screenshot of the "conversation starters" page where one example said: "I wish they'd teach us more about Vikings." so true

the illustrations are iconic

[Isadora]

NO.

[Alexandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lovely book for young girls! It discusses feelings and boundaries very well.

[Molly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel like this book is more targeted towards middle school girls. And plus I feel like this leaves out bi and lesbian girls.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fun book to read. It is full of advice aimed at middle and high school girls. It has lots of stuff many of us figure out along the way by trial and error; but it is nice to have it all in one book together. It is easy to read and understand with practical ideas to try out. It has lists, quizzes, and letters with the answers to read.

[Shiloh · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was really helpful. It helped me get over it when my crush said he didn't like me back. Also because i am friends with my crush it helped me to make our friendship un-awkward. Thanks! I suggest you get it

[Victoria Silbernagel · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was ok.

[In The Loop About Books · Rating 1 out of 5]

1/5️ ⭐️ Do not give this to your children 

A Smart Girl's Guide: Boys is a book that's supposed to help girls navigate the messy world of boys, crushes, and breakups. Typically, I don't review nonfiction books. But there's a glaring issue in this book that no one is talking about, so I decided to speak up about it. 

This book is normalizing INCEST. Here's the quote in question: 

“You might have a crush on a rock star. You might have a crush on a teacher or your cousin or your friend's big brother.”

I don't like the word "normal," but I believe it should only be used in specific instances. This is one of them. A smart girl would know that developing feelings for a family member is not normal. I'm shocked that no one else is bringing attention to this part of the book. I guess it’s because of how it got sandwiched with other normal crushes, so people must’ve overlooked it. We should not be normalizing incest for children. It is wrong, immoral, and ungodly. 
Thank you for reading, and God bless!

[Dawn Hayse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful!

I was kind of confused at first but this book helped me sort of all our in the end. Highly recommended!

[Tolu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I want to read this so bad.

[Amelie · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was real good with helping introduce romance to younge girls. I'm not living a love life yet, but it was good for what to expect.

[Diva]

Oh my god, I remember buying this book from Barnes and Noble as a kiddo. THE MEMORIES!

[Kinsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lol got this one from amberlee because she was cleaning out her bookshelves. Kinda cute kinda fun.

[Claire McEachern · Rating 5 out of 5]

the GOAT

[Kerry Gallagher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Page turner. God sent this book himself through his prophet, Nancy Holyoke.

[Charlee D · Rating 1 out of 5]

I learned nothing from this, sorry.

[Meah Matherne · Rating 5 out of 5]

an incredibly formative and thought provoking novel. its prose has stayed with me throughout my lifetime

[Selkie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though this is targeted toward adolescents, it is by far so much better than The Girl Code by Diane Farr or most books on friendships and dating written for older singles. Maybe I prefer it because it focuses on teaching self-esteem, dealing with peer pressure, and boundaries. This book addresses those issues and how to respond in a tactful way to those that do not respect boundaries---even older singles need help with that sometimes (especially if they are really shy).

Includes quizzes test your instincts.

[Blythe Penland · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book was very reasonable and gives great advice. Not that I can heed the advice given. I mean, it is boys after all. I do not have a love life or even friends that are boys. The quizzes were great, and the book gives good solutions to common problems with boys. It's very helpful and has somewhat nice drawings. American Girl always has good writers and has not disappointed in this book. If you've got a problem with a boy, I highly recommend this book to you.