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Meant To Be: A Memoir
Published to strong reviews and major media attention, this heartfelt and inspirational rags-to-riches memoir by the highly regarded CEO of Parade Publications tells the emotional story of how he came to terms with an identity and a family that he never knew he had until he reached middle age. Meant To Be begins when Anderson, a 21-year-old Marine returns from service to say goodbye to his dying father and tries to find the answer to a question that has inexplicably haunted him from his earliest Was the alcoholic, abusive man who has so tormented him in his childhood his real father? Shockingly, the answer turns out to be "No." Unbeknown to him, at least until that point, his mother, a German Protestant, fell in love during World War II with a Russian Jew and bore his child. Anderson learns this information as a young man but he and his mother keep this secret for another 35 years, until the day Anderson—now an unusually successful publishing executive—meets an unknown brother who, it turns out, has lived a nearly parallel life. Meant To Be is a love story, a journey of self-discovery and spirituality, and a provocative challenge to common notions about the role of heredity in our lives.
251 pages, Hardcover
First published September 1, 2003
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143 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews
October 22, 2012
For the first thirty pages or so, I was rating this memoir as a solid 3. The author's childhood recollections are engaging and his writing is smooth, easy to read. Over the remaining 200 pages, the book earned a solid 4 rating for me!
The story begins as the author's coming-of-age account. He describes growing up on the wrong side of the tracks, unhappy and unsure of himself. At home, his alcoholic father routinely beats and berates him. He is smart and does well in school, but he is also stubborn and cocky, battling with authority, as well as with other tough street kids in his neighborhood. School, specifically reading, provides hope and an escape.
The author becomes a marine and serves honorably in Vietnam. He returns home to the tense, changing America of the 1960's. He falls in love, marries, attends college, and becomes a family man. His passion leads him into journalism. His affinity for writing is powerful. "I knew only that I was compelled by my desire to write. I could no more explain this obsession than I could reach out and clutch the air I breathe." Through decades of births, deaths, and professional accomplishments, he carries a secret that his mother has shared only with him.
The story is told against the backdrop of this ever-looming secret. He earns success in the newspaper business. He becomes friends with the amazing writer, humanitarian, and holocaust survivor, Elie Wiesel. He travels to Kiev, Ukraine in the late 80's, where he is told the story of Babi Yar. This true tale recounts horrible Nazi crimes and the attempt to cover up those crimes. From this tale comes the lesson, "The keys to save us all are in the pockets of the dead." There are many lessons in the author's life. And his entire life of traveling, writing, and family life, crescendos as his mother's secret is divulged. From the pockets of the dead, he is given answers and a fullness to his life, that not even he, the author, could have foreseen.
In this book, life's imperfections and injustices are evident. However, more powerfully evident are the happiness and success that hope and tenacity provide. This book is written from a place of honesty, pain, and deep love. In the author's curiosity about Judaism, he finds that there is an emphasis on behavior. "An ethical life...is essential to a Jew. If a Jewish man steals...he may seek forgiveness from God...he has to seek forgiveness from the person he harmed...must right the wrong. 'I'm sorry' is not nearly enough." I love this quote from the book because it has meaning to the story, but also has pertinence for anyone who reads this book.
The story begins as the author's coming-of-age account. He describes growing up on the wrong side of the tracks, unhappy and unsure of himself. At home, his alcoholic father routinely beats and berates him. He is smart and does well in school, but he is also stubborn and cocky, battling with authority, as well as with other tough street kids in his neighborhood. School, specifically reading, provides hope and an escape.
The author becomes a marine and serves honorably in Vietnam. He returns home to the tense, changing America of the 1960's. He falls in love, marries, attends college, and becomes a family man. His passion leads him into journalism. His affinity for writing is powerful. "I knew only that I was compelled by my desire to write. I could no more explain this obsession than I could reach out and clutch the air I breathe." Through decades of births, deaths, and professional accomplishments, he carries a secret that his mother has shared only with him.
The story is told against the backdrop of this ever-looming secret. He earns success in the newspaper business. He becomes friends with the amazing writer, humanitarian, and holocaust survivor, Elie Wiesel. He travels to Kiev, Ukraine in the late 80's, where he is told the story of Babi Yar. This true tale recounts horrible Nazi crimes and the attempt to cover up those crimes. From this tale comes the lesson, "The keys to save us all are in the pockets of the dead." There are many lessons in the author's life. And his entire life of traveling, writing, and family life, crescendos as his mother's secret is divulged. From the pockets of the dead, he is given answers and a fullness to his life, that not even he, the author, could have foreseen.
In this book, life's imperfections and injustices are evident. However, more powerfully evident are the happiness and success that hope and tenacity provide. This book is written from a place of honesty, pain, and deep love. In the author's curiosity about Judaism, he finds that there is an emphasis on behavior. "An ethical life...is essential to a Jew. If a Jewish man steals...he may seek forgiveness from God...he has to seek forgiveness from the person he harmed...must right the wrong. 'I'm sorry' is not nearly enough." I love this quote from the book because it has meaning to the story, but also has pertinence for anyone who reads this book.
February 3, 2012
"The man we just buried... Was he my father?"
Walter Anderson, chairman and CEO of Parade Publications, asks this question of his mother as they attend to the funeral of the man he knew to be his father, an abusive alcoholic who beat his son as he slept, or as he read a book. Or any time at all.
This story of Anderson's rise from the "wrong side of the tracks" to the editorship of one of the nation's most-read magazines is an archetypal American rags-to-riches story. And, of course, that man wasn't Walter Anderson's father.
In the days following the funeral, Walter's mother reveals the circumstances of his birth. While she seems eager at last to tell him the truth, nevertheless she swears him to secrecy. He is to tell no one, not his siblings, not the half-brother from her lover's marriage. Walter keeps the secret for thirty-five years, until his siblings are no longer living.
This is a finely written and evocative memoir. I was ultimately disheartened by the story, though. I found it sad that Anderson's mother stayed in an abusive relationship and refused to let her lover see his son. (He died soon after William Anderson.) This allegiance blighted the lives of so many people.
Even more so, it was cruel of her to swear her son to secrecy. Selfishly, she was afraid her other children would think less of her. I thought less of her for shackling Walter to the secret. She didn't allow him to lean on those closest to him for emotional support. When at last he and his half-brother connect, the mother is perversely tickled to nuture a relationship with the son of her lover and his family. How sad for Walter. How sad for his siblings, who both died young, one from alcoholism and one from disease. How much better for all to have put an end to the secrecy at that funeral.
Walter Anderson, chairman and CEO of Parade Publications, asks this question of his mother as they attend to the funeral of the man he knew to be his father, an abusive alcoholic who beat his son as he slept, or as he read a book. Or any time at all.
This story of Anderson's rise from the "wrong side of the tracks" to the editorship of one of the nation's most-read magazines is an archetypal American rags-to-riches story. And, of course, that man wasn't Walter Anderson's father.
In the days following the funeral, Walter's mother reveals the circumstances of his birth. While she seems eager at last to tell him the truth, nevertheless she swears him to secrecy. He is to tell no one, not his siblings, not the half-brother from her lover's marriage. Walter keeps the secret for thirty-five years, until his siblings are no longer living.
This is a finely written and evocative memoir. I was ultimately disheartened by the story, though. I found it sad that Anderson's mother stayed in an abusive relationship and refused to let her lover see his son. (He died soon after William Anderson.) This allegiance blighted the lives of so many people.
Even more so, it was cruel of her to swear her son to secrecy. Selfishly, she was afraid her other children would think less of her. I thought less of her for shackling Walter to the secret. She didn't allow him to lean on those closest to him for emotional support. When at last he and his half-brother connect, the mother is perversely tickled to nuture a relationship with the son of her lover and his family. How sad for Walter. How sad for his siblings, who both died young, one from alcoholism and one from disease. How much better for all to have put an end to the secrecy at that funeral.
July 31, 2015
I really enjoyed this memoir. I thought of Forrest Gump, reading about Walter Anderson, who is also a success and a winner against all odds. There's just something inside of Anderson that lands him over and over in the right place at the right time and, even more significantly, in the presence of the right people (helpers).
It appears as though Meant To Be was marketed, to a certain extent, as a mystery; however, the back-cover blurb can be likened to an overly revealing movie trailer and spoiled any suspenseful elements for me. (Don't read the back cover / book jacket!)
I so appreciated Anderson's voice, though. Here's a man with whom I have almost nothing in common; yet, I cared so much about his story. I felt like I was sitting next to him on the couch, listening as he talked about his complicated family and remarkable career.
I finished Meant To Be with some good, soul-searching questions, like: how much of who we are is inside us from the moment of conception or entrance into the world? And: how much do we know innately, even regarding the things no one has ever explained?
It appears as though Meant To Be was marketed, to a certain extent, as a mystery; however, the back-cover blurb can be likened to an overly revealing movie trailer and spoiled any suspenseful elements for me. (Don't read the back cover / book jacket!)
I so appreciated Anderson's voice, though. Here's a man with whom I have almost nothing in common; yet, I cared so much about his story. I felt like I was sitting next to him on the couch, listening as he talked about his complicated family and remarkable career.
I finished Meant To Be with some good, soul-searching questions, like: how much of who we are is inside us from the moment of conception or entrance into the world? And: how much do we know innately, even regarding the things no one has ever explained?
May 26, 2019
Incredible memoir that describes Walter Anderson's personal journey to understand who he is; amazing intersection of nature and nurture when his mother's secret is revealed.
March 18, 2009
This was an inspirational story but I found the level of detail to be overdone. It was a bit self-indulgent, and could have used a good editing-down.
October 14, 2022
This story hooked me from the beginning. Walter’s life is so very interesting. He’s a great storyteller. It was so much more than “Who’s my father?”.
February 13, 2022
Walter Anderson was the editor of Parade Magazine. Some of the book describes his rise in the publishing world after he completed military service, but the primary focus of the boom is on his search for identity. The father who raised him was abusive. Eventually, he learns that his mother had an affair with a Jewish man during the war (his biological father). Later in life, he embarks on a search for relatives and learns more about his biological father. There are many stories about finding relatives through DNA tests. In this case, he knew his biological father’s name and just had to track down relatives. The author’s writing talent is apparent and the story is captivating.
October 1, 2024
Interesting life story. Unfortunate that he had to experience such child abuse but happy that he persevered, and eventually was grateful and able to understand the perspectives of all the people involved. Anderson had a great writing style, easily relatable and readable. Detailed characters and descriptions of locations conveyed cultural experiences as well throughout his story. Learning about your family and it's mysteries, the struggles of your ancestors is interesting and intriguing- however we often romanticize the past to the extent that we ignore the hardships.
Occasionally, I challenge myself to read other genres and, in this case, I'm glad I did.
Occasionally, I challenge myself to read other genres and, in this case, I'm glad I did.
December 11, 2018
This was a really interesting and amazing story on several levels. Although it was well-written, the author, being primarily a journalist, doesn't excessively use adjectives nor does he do a lot of detailed descriptions. That being said, I really enjoyed reading it because he gets to his topics quickly without a lot of fluff. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I enjoyed his writing style. I was, however, slightly horrified to see that he used "bring/take" incorrectly in one sentence. Read this book, though. I think you'll really like it!!
March 14, 2021
The story of a man who overcame a childhood of poverty and abuse by his father to discover that the man he thought was his father was not. His mother swears him to secrecy until his brother and sister are no longer alive to find out he is not their full brother. He rises in the world of publishing against all odds to become the editor and CEO of Parade magazines and goes on to discover his biological family.
April 6, 2020
I had no expectations going into this book. I think that inevitably gives the book a fair chance. It’s the fastest I’ve read a book in a very long time. I was interested and entertained the entire time. It’s a story worth hearing, but do not expect glamour or drama. It is just simply true and simply good.
November 2, 2024
This is an excellent book about a boy who overcame many obstacles to become a person to be proud of himself, not just a child born as a result of an affair. I couldn't put it down, especially the 2nd half of the book.
January 11, 2025
Inspired by man’s search to find who he really is
An amazing story about a boy who became a man despite the agonizing conditions at home and never knowing his real dad. This is an incredible story about courage and determination to succeed in life against all odds.
An amazing story about a boy who became a man despite the agonizing conditions at home and never knowing his real dad. This is an incredible story about courage and determination to succeed in life against all odds.
July 31, 2025
No pensé que me fuera a gustar tanto este libro, pero Walter Anderson sabe atraparte con su historia que parece sacada de una película. Me gusta la curiosidad que tuvo por la escritura y por saber quién es, tanto a nivel personal como espiritual.
February 24, 2018
Excellent book, excellent writing & quite a story. I had not heard of Anderson but I'll probably look for more of his books.
May 18, 2018
True story of Walter Anderson’s life.
He finds his real father & a half brother.
He finds his real father & a half brother.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 22, 2020
Cindy, Central patron, July 2020, 5 stars:
Absolutely loved this book, great characters, story keeps you guessing, great story.
Absolutely loved this book, great characters, story keeps you guessing, great story.
March 3, 2021
Great writing& an interesting story. Not what I expected based off the synopsis- but much better than I anticipated.
July 7, 2024
Wow, an amazing story.
Thank you so much for sharing your life with us.
Thank you so much for sharing your life with us.
February 15, 2014
I loved this book. I got so attached right from the first chapter. It was well and smartly written. The sequence of events was beyond the top. I wasn’t lost even if the plot jumps from one setting to the other (and there were a lot of flashbacks all the time
I greatly felt the story’s emotion. Walter’s childhood experiences were his ultimate edge to success (His past is the exact opposite of his future). A very determined, intelligent and independent at young age, Walter Anderson is eager to achieve his plans and ambitions one by one. Not lucky to have a perfect and complete family, but his story was perfect as meant to be, and he was brave enough to share the deepest secret. I’m pretty sure, this book touches my heart warmly as I never expected.
I recommend the book to those who are in doubts; those who love and treasures a family, a mother, a father, a brother and a sister, and most importantly to those who are seeking for the truth and cup of inspiration.
I greatly felt the story’s emotion. Walter’s childhood experiences were his ultimate edge to success (His past is the exact opposite of his future). A very determined, intelligent and independent at young age, Walter Anderson is eager to achieve his plans and ambitions one by one. Not lucky to have a perfect and complete family, but his story was perfect as meant to be, and he was brave enough to share the deepest secret. I’m pretty sure, this book touches my heart warmly as I never expected.
I recommend the book to those who are in doubts; those who love and treasures a family, a mother, a father, a brother and a sister, and most importantly to those who are seeking for the truth and cup of inspiration.
November 28, 2008
This was an extremely interesting memoir of a person I've pretty much taken for granted - the editor of "Parade" magazine that's included in so many Sunday papers. His is an amazing "rags to riches" story, but more than that it is a saga of discovery. You have to wonder about the impact of heredity vs. environment when you read this book. Mr. Anderson tells the story of his painful youth without bitterness; he is someone who overcame terrible odds. Who would have thought he'd have any chance of a successful career and a stable family life? Yet, he has accomplished all of that and then some.
April 29, 2010
While this is a fascinating story and an enjoyable enough read, I didn't love it as much as I thought I would. And I can't even put my finger on what is missing. I find it a bit odd how many of the review blurbs on the book itself mention keeping tissues nearby while reading. I was expecting something more emotionally moving than what I got. I certainly didn't feel like crying. But it is a moving story. So why wasn't I able to lose myself in the story? I feel like something was held back, or that we didn't get the complete story but that's normal in all memoirs.
So while I wouldn't necessarily pass this on to a friend with rave reviews, it's worth reading.
Currently reading
December 7, 2010I'm nearly finished with this book. My thoughts are-
I can see why being a Vietnam vet he'd be annoyed with the protesters, but why be THAT annoyed with them? Then again, they were stupid for tormenting soldiers who risked their lives instead of the idiots that started the war in the first place.
Dude's prose is way too flowery. Someone should have made him stop writing that way. People just don't talk that way, make speeches like that.
Also, why couldn't his mother have run off with that other guy instead of staying with that jerk? I don't understand....
I can see why being a Vietnam vet he'd be annoyed with the protesters, but why be THAT annoyed with them? Then again, they were stupid for tormenting soldiers who risked their lives instead of the idiots that started the war in the first place.
Dude's prose is way too flowery. Someone should have made him stop writing that way. People just don't talk that way, make speeches like that.
Also, why couldn't his mother have run off with that other guy instead of staying with that jerk? I don't understand....
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 6, 2017
I had never heard of Walter Anderson before reading his memoir. If I was 20 years older, that probably wouldn't be the case, and I probably would have enjoyed Meant to Be more than I did. As it stood, I found it a tolerably fine story about a guy who started in a rough place, got successful, and learned some things about his heritage along the way. It didn't make me laugh, or think terribly hard, or inspire me, or even draw me in to its story enough that I felt compelled to keep reading. It did, however, interest me mildly, so I eventually finished it.
July 11, 2011
Meant to Be by Walter Anderson is billed as "the true story of a son who discovers he is his mother's darkest secret."
It is that and much more. Anderson is a writer and a Vietnam Vet who grew up in a poor in a poor section of Mount Vernon, NY the (supposed) son of an abusive, alcoholic who has his own secrets.
The story of Anderson's life couldn't be more compelling if he'd made it up out of whole cloth.
It is that and much more. Anderson is a writer and a Vietnam Vet who grew up in a poor in a poor section of Mount Vernon, NY the (supposed) son of an abusive, alcoholic who has his own secrets.
The story of Anderson's life couldn't be more compelling if he'd made it up out of whole cloth.
June 26, 2014
Walter is an alumnus and former board chairman of Mercy College, where I have the privilege of serving as president. I read this book in anticipation of having lunch with Walter. I'm glad I did. It still moves me that the life of a man with such a rich and sometimes surprising history should be intertwined the the college where I now serve. Walter's autobiographical account is unflinchingly generous and gracious, even as it discloses the pain and suffering of his early years.
January 8, 2008
The author knew instinctively that the man who raised him was not his birth father. This memoir is a well-written journey about Anderson's discoveries and revelations on his journey to find out about his birth father.
January 27, 2013
This was a good book, but it started out a little slow. Once I got about half way I really didn't want to put it down. The author is a great writer who tells his life story in such an honest way that you can't help but love him and his mother for keeping the secret.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews