In the Palomar Arms

by Hilma Wolitzer

In this multi-generational story of marriage, infidelity and aging, a twenty-four year old California drifter named Daphne Moss drifts into a love affair with a married man, and then into a job serving suppers at the Palomar Arms Senior Home. Amidst the older reisdents' own dramas, Daphne struggles with her conscience as her lover struggles to break away from his unsatisfying marriage.

Genres: Fiction

307 pages, Hardcover

First published May 1, 1983

About the author

Hilma Wolitzer (b. 1930) is a critically hailed author of literary fiction. She is a recipient of Guggenheim and National Endowment for the Arts fellowships, an American Academy of Arts and Letters Award in Literature, and a Barnes & Noble Writers for Writers Award. Her first short story appeared in print when she was thirty-six. Eight years later she published her first novel. Her novels and stories have drawn praise for illuminating the dark interiors of the American home. She lives in New York City.

Reviews

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wolitzer's novel In the Polomar Arms is told with wit and some wry humor. (I loved the scene with the home alarm system salesmen showing before and after pictures.) Wolitzer looks through the lens of the daily life to tell her tale of marriage, infidelity, and aging.

Kenny and Joy have two young children, and their marriage is deteriorating. They no longer communicate, work together, or seem to care for each other. "They lie far apart on the large bed, as far as they can without falling off. The distance between them is like a desert, or an unswimmable body of water."

Then Kenny meets Daphne in a night class and follows up his strong attraction to her. "And it wasn't just the sex, although that was sublime. It was also her rapturous attention, which gave him a second chance to be new, to be capable once more of fortunate surprises."

"Kenny's marriage and fatherhood disturb Daphne, of course. . . . Yet Daphne reasons that Kenny's domestic experience has helped to make him a lover of greater dimension than the single men she's used to. . . . The other, unmarried, men she's known were more like affectionate but competitive siblings. How marvelous it is to be cherished instead."

She paints a clear picture of Kenny and Joy's marriage and of Kenny and Daphne's affair.

I have been married for almost 37 years and can vouch for the fact that marriage has its phases. And I am committed to our marriage and to the man that I married. When our daughters were young they consumed so much energy that we didn't have any left for the long talks we used to have. So we made a "date" for Saturday nights to lay in the hammock and snuggle to maintain some type of connection. Most Saturdays we woke later and stumbled up to bed. My point is that marriage/connection takes work on both sides and frequently planning is required during the more numbing phases when there's a definite lack of spontaneity (and energy). I am always saddened when a marriage ends due to a drifting apart, especially when the choice is one-sided.

The other theme in this novel is that of aging. Daphne works in The Palomar Arms Senior Home where "hardly any of its residents ever convalesce or get rehabilitated. Their major common complaint is extreme and irrevocable old age, and most of them are kept hostage until they die, or are moved at the last moment for that purpose to a conventional hospital."

The residents all have different ways of coping with their mental and physical degradation; it is obvious that Wolitzer has spent time with seniors. Wolitzer keenly observes that their relatives tend to shout at the elderly, not because of hearing loss, but because of the knowledge of imminent separation and that they try on a subconscious level to bridge the growing distance.

I have had multiple family members end their days in institutions when caring for them at home became overwhelming. And I have made my share of elderly friends visiting such places. Those with keen minds appreciate having someone new to chat with or play cards with. Those more physically able enjoy having someone to take them out for short walks around the grounds if permissions are possible. Living in these facilities has become so much more closed in for these residents since 2020. This is my PSA for those who have extra time and an enjoyment of people to consider volunteering.

Wolitzer's characters are fully realized and I can understand their motivations. As always, the writing is excellent. This is a quiet story of everyday lives, with just a touch of drama.

[Stacie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Slow and boring. So slow and so boring. Not even sure why I finished it.

[Laurie Stoll · Rating 1 out of 5]

A story with very little substance.

[Karenbike Patterson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Daphne has a doomed affair with a married father of two. That part of this book is predictable and done many times in lots of other books. But the insight into the residents of a nursing home- Palomar Arms, where she is an aide, are new and thoughtful.