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If I Were a Man, I'd Marry Me
It's no understatement when the Atlanta Journal & Constitution calls P. S. Wall "Erma Bombeck with attitude." Who else but Wall could blithely recount flying first class next to a call girl and trying on her fifteen-hundred-dollar "chocolate for your feet" shoes? "Oooooh, yes!" Now, America's wry new humorist--whose award-winning newspaper column "Off the Wall" is syndicated nationwide--casts her penetrating eye on everything from felines to Elvis, dieting to weed whackers, country living to sexy French tour guides. With her innate irreverence and sharp-as-nails sense of humor, she raises ordinary life to fiercely funny new heights.
Younger men: "If you fall in love with a younger guy, it's like trying to have a relationship with a jockey strap. There's just no give, and expansion is totally out of the question."
Speeding: "Traffic police are a mystery to me. As far as I'm concerned, it's just not natural for a guy to stop a woman for going too fast."
Past loves: "Old lovers are like socks. They always show up full of static cling and missing their mate."
Convictions: "There's nothing I hate more than having my convictions put to the test. That's why I try not to have any."
Cars: "Buying a truck is like dating. If you're not careful, you'll end up paying for that test drive the rest of your life."
Politics: "In our neck of the woods, 'politically correct' means mounting your Rush Limbaugh sticker on the right side of the bumper."
There's just no stopping a woman with a "smart-aleck streak as wide as she claims her posterior to be." * Both acerbic and playful, If I Were A Man, I'd Marry Me is humor with a savvy sting.
* Minneapolis Star Tribune
Younger men: "If you fall in love with a younger guy, it's like trying to have a relationship with a jockey strap. There's just no give, and expansion is totally out of the question."
Speeding: "Traffic police are a mystery to me. As far as I'm concerned, it's just not natural for a guy to stop a woman for going too fast."
Past loves: "Old lovers are like socks. They always show up full of static cling and missing their mate."
Convictions: "There's nothing I hate more than having my convictions put to the test. That's why I try not to have any."
Cars: "Buying a truck is like dating. If you're not careful, you'll end up paying for that test drive the rest of your life."
Politics: "In our neck of the woods, 'politically correct' means mounting your Rush Limbaugh sticker on the right side of the bumper."
There's just no stopping a woman with a "smart-aleck streak as wide as she claims her posterior to be." * Both acerbic and playful, If I Were A Man, I'd Marry Me is humor with a savvy sting.
* Minneapolis Star Tribune
- GenresHumorNonfiction
240 pages, Hardcover
First published August 3, 1999
62 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
August 6, 2017
I'll admit I thought this was a romance. It's not.
It was 60(+) vignettes with an average of 2-3 pages apiece. Each episode was ripe with humor: tidbits that were enjoyable between sobering stories I was reading. I would be hard-pressed to read the entire book all at once.
Paula Walls was born in Tennessee but raised in Alaska. I have visited both states and to me they have very little in common. Perhaps that was why she looked at life the way she did. Her quips were flavored with an older version of the Deep South in a folksy way. Her inborn quirkiness was what made me smile. At times, it was downright silly. Hence, I would read a few pages between chapters of another book.
I don't think it was Ms. Wall's intention but I believe the book is aimed at women 35+ years of age. It would help if you understood her casual drollness. I found that if I read a morsel here and a nibble there, it did not overwhelm me.
It was 60(+) vignettes with an average of 2-3 pages apiece. Each episode was ripe with humor: tidbits that were enjoyable between sobering stories I was reading. I would be hard-pressed to read the entire book all at once.
Paula Walls was born in Tennessee but raised in Alaska. I have visited both states and to me they have very little in common. Perhaps that was why she looked at life the way she did. Her quips were flavored with an older version of the Deep South in a folksy way. Her inborn quirkiness was what made me smile. At times, it was downright silly. Hence, I would read a few pages between chapters of another book.
I don't think it was Ms. Wall's intention but I believe the book is aimed at women 35+ years of age. It would help if you understood her casual drollness. I found that if I read a morsel here and a nibble there, it did not overwhelm me.
March 27, 2021
Paula Wall erzählt die Kurzgeschichten mit Humor. sehr Witzig und charmant lol.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews