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303 pages, Hardcover
First published January 21, 2014
Me:What's da Urethra Gauntlet?
Eli: Urilium Gauntlet. U got my message.
Me: I got it. What wuz it?
Eli: I'm talkin Finite Universe. An MMORPG
Me: wuz dat a typo?
Eli: Massively multiplayer online role-playing game
Me: Like Warcraft?
Eli: Hellz no. Better. More scifi than fantasy. No weirdo stuff like dwarfs and fairies.

"We're on a date. If anyone asks, that's our cover."
"Right," I said. "Pretending."
She glanced sideways, then back to the road. "People are going to talk when we come in together. We better give them what they ask for. It will make the night go more smoothly."
"Hope I don't miss your rep."
She laughed. "Mess up my rep? Do you own a mirror?"
"What do you mean?"
"De pinga! I can't tell if you're being modest or you're one of those guys who got cute over the summer without realizing it."
Focus, focus, grin, focus...

The girl I'd bumped steadied herself, said, "It's okay. I'll live."
I barely heard her, though. Too busy seeing her.
You know how in the movies when a gorgeous girl enters the scene there's music, and slow motion, and fans blowing her hair? None of that happened or anything, but for the first time, the concept didn't seem stupid. She made a gym uniform look good.
“You don't have to know someone your whole life to know them. Not really. Lonely is the same everywhere.” – Fake ID
“Our backgrounds were different, but the traditions of death surpassed culture. Everyone mourned with food.” – Fake ID