The Joys of Homemaking

by Daryl V. Hoole

To many women, homemaking and rearing children in a peaceful, harmonious home environment present many challenges. While not every woman may excell in all of the homemaking arts, there are many ways in which each one can streamline her work and the place in which she works -the home-to make it run more efficiently and pleasantly.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Lds

Hardcover

First published January 1, 1975

Reviews

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clear, practical, timeless advice. I saw my mom in so much of this book. I need to get my own copy somehow and a copy for my daughters. (-: Great stuff.

Some notes from the book:

*Dedication of time and energy far beyond the mere providing of children's physical needs.
*Parents and children must be willing to put family first in order to achieve family exaltation.
*Homemaking should be neither beneath nor beyond me.
*Unless an object is charming, put it out of sight.

An orderly home:
1. always leave the house orderly before going to bed.
2. lay a foundation early and well
a) basic, routine morning work=picking things up, wiping things off, making beds, tidying up, loading he washer, etc.
b) lay the foundation by 10am. Then you can do the many other things you have planned.
3. practice the picking up process by maintaining the foundation during the day. Say to kids: "Daddy will be home soon. Make certain the house is tidy and in order so he will know we've done our work too."
4. establish some ground rules
a) no eating on foot
b) clean up your snacks/messes . Leave an area better than you found it.
c) order your room before playing
d) don't leave the bathroom until you've tidied it
c) hang up your clothes and towels
5. be brave enough to throw or give things away
6. store things properly
7. organize toys for fun, not for frustration
8. make treasure chests for each child that could include such items as:
-scrapbooks
-pictures
-souvenirs
-mementos
-school papers of significance
-copies of certificates
-special gifts/heirlooms
-valuables
9. know how to file it and to find it again
*organization is "to put into working order; get together and arrange." We take the duties of our day, as many and varied as they may be, and arrange them in working order.
*If you are in control of the situation, you are organized. If the situation is in control of you, you are not organized.

PLAN AHEAD--advanced planning can double or triple your accomplishments
HAVE A FLEXIBLE SCHEDULE--a series of plans or goals towards which I am working. Operate on a system of "selected neglect." Plan time for me, husband, each child, and to serve others. Go the "second mile."--don't just keep house, make a home; don't just feed your family, make appetizing and nutritious meals; teach children, don't just tend them. One of the greatest blessings a woman can have is to find fulfillment in her home, and this comes in direct proportion to the number of "second miles" she is able to travel in her day. Mind of mattress--get an early start on each day. An ounce of morning is worth a pound of afternoon. It takes 2 days to keep the Sabbath day holy! To be effectively lived, life is a continuing process of weighing values. Do the important not necessarily the urgent tasks.
BE A LIST MAKER

An example of my day:
6:30am wake, pray, make bed, wash hair, dress for gym, tidy master bath and bedroom
7am wake up kids, help them make beds, dress, tidy rooms, comb hair, brush teeth
7:30am eat breakfast, pack lunches, family prayer, practice piano, morning chores
7:45 and 8:45am kids to school--start my chores and continue laying foundation
9am gym--"me" time
Rest of afternoon options--write, attend temple, family history work, service, read, clean, start dinner, run errands, shop, garden, yard work, decorate, special projects, etc.
2:20-4:15pm--be there when kids get home from school
5:oopm--dinner-make a weekly menu! Try new recipes. Go the 2nd mile. Serve food attractively. Nutritious.
Evening chores, family scripture reading, family prayer, bedtime routines
9:00pm bedtime routine--teeth, journal, scriptures, prayers, good nights to kids

Do a thorough house cleaning every week and add a special project to the usual weekly duties:
1st week--dust/vacuum baseboards and other dust collecting edges/ledges.
2nd week--vacuum furniture, wash mirrors, dust picture frames and lamps and lights
3rd week--wash windows and dust blinds and curtains
4th week--floors and carpets deep cleaned
5th week (if is one)--clean and reorganize a drawer/cupboard/cabinent

also clean: range, fridge, and change furnace filters

Helpmeet:
*learn to make the most of your man't money--avoid waste
*enthusiastically welcome him home. Look attractive. Have the table set with dinner cooking.
*truly be a lady. Femininity is a gift-don't lose it. Work every day to preserve it. Charm=let your husband know by all you say and do how special he is. Be adoring, admiring and appreciative; spontaneous, responsive, and warm. Replace moodiness and nagging with happiness and inspiration

Discipline:
*wise parents understand that discipline should be a learning experience, not just a punishment.
*teach a child to control his own actions
*use natural and logical consequences
*be respectful of child, his things, and what is important to him
*terms and tones of our conversations should denote respect
*we should save our "fire alarm" for when there really is a fire
*talk in positive, complimentary terms
*apologize when I mess up. We don't have to be perfect parents, just honest.

Love and Listen
To help a child feel love:
1. attention--spend good, fun and meaningful experiences
2. availability--be there and in attitude too
3. acceptance--unqualified. Guide him to be his best self
4. approval--encouragement not criticism
5. appreciation--show and tell. Notes too
6. advantages--give him every possible advantage
7. affection

Listen:
listen much more and talk much less
listen with your eyes and listen between the lines
4 typical listening responses:
1. advice-giving (offering your opinion)
2. evaluating/judging
3. probing
4. understanding--reflect back his feelings

*Bedtime visits
*Consciously "validate" each child each day. Validate=regularly say or do something to enhance his self-worth
*Once a week eat a formal dinner together as a family. Use the nice dishes, centerpieces, candles. Teach etiquette.
*Help them to throw most things away after they have fulfilled their purpose, but help them keep some as personal treasures.
*family fun, outings, vacations, do things together
*traditions, projects--make moments to remember
*daily family prayer and scripture study
*weekly FHE
*proper observance of the Sabbath

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is much like The Art of Homemaking, but with a little more elaboration in certain areas. So if you've read my review of the other book, it's pretty much the same for this book.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this book on my mom's bookshelf and picked it up because I'm a sucker for 1970s illustrations. Check out that cover! I think my mom got it around the time of her wedding. Imagine being newly married and getting this advice:

"Of further importance in being a worthy helpmate is to truly be a lady. The more a woman looks or acts like a man, the less he likes her. Femininity is a priceless gift; it's tragic to see a woman lose it. She must work every day to preserve it; it'so easy to let it disappear a bit at a time.
[Then she includes an anecdote about a woman who--gasp!--opens her own car door.]
Sometimes a woman forgets who she is and becomes too independent and self-sufficient. In order to help her, she needs an occasional refresher course in the basic elements of femininity and charm. The modern woman knows, just as have all her sisters through the ages past, that there is only one way to bring out the best in a man. It's all in her charm.
What is charm? Margery Wilson calls it "the perfume of the soul." A more expanded definition is that a charming woman lets her husband know, through everything she says and does,how special he is. She is adoring, admiring, and appreciative. Even though she is a mature woman, she retains that ever-appealing quality of girlishness. She is spontaneous, responsive, and warm. She replaces moodiness and nagging, both of which her husband detests, with happiness and inspiration. She never forgets that a man will give all that he has for a woman's smile." (p. 76)

Faulty feminism philosophy aside, I did get a couple of decent tips from the logistical section of the book. I'm terrible at managing my work as a stay at home parent: time flows weirdly and it's difficult to keep it structured. The author suggests picking a time, say 9 or 10 AM as your foundation work time. Have household chores like dishes and laundry done by then, so that you can focus on your own work after that, more interesting and fulfilling projects. Like crafting your own signature perfume for the soul, thinking up compliments to lavish on your husband, or practicing your girlishness.

[Sandy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was written in the 1980's and, while somewhat dated, has some good ideas. I first encountered it years ago, and it was interesting to revisit the book almost 40 years later. I find that, while still interesting, at this stage in my life, my focus is different. I am more inclined to find "The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning" more applicable to me these days.

I did not finish the book, but after having it on my "Currently Reading" list for 2.5 years, it was time to move it to another category.

[Angie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is another old-school book on traditional homemaking. There is some repetition from her previous book, "The Art of Homemaking," but she builds upon it here with more general advice on order, time management, parenting, and more. Her ideas are simple, some of her examples are a little out-dated, but at the core there is solid substance. I especially appreciated her advice to 1- Leave the house clean before going to bed, and 2- Lay a foundation in the morning (basic routine daily tasks) before building (starting projects, deep cleaning, etc). I am known to mop the floor or clean out a closet while there are still piles of dishes in the sink! ;)

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay, I picked this book up at a thrift store for a dollar thinking that if I could find a little more joy in homemaking, it would be a dollar well spent. Well, it was actually a pretty good book. Considering it was written in the seventies and so it is a little outdated, it still had a lot of great ideas and truths about being an LDS homemaker. It helped me catch a tiny vision of what I'd like to become more of as a mom and wife. So, dollar well spent. :)

[Katie Lorsch · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. It came at the perfect time in my life when I was looking for someone to say, "I'm a great homemaker. I had tons of kids, but I did it - and you can too." Hoole is a lady I would have loved to talk to about figuring this whole mothering and housekeeping thing out. She had a bunch of great ideas about homemaking and raising children that I can't wait to implement. I need to read this again and take notes!

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book. The author does a really good job of saying what should be done in the home in a fun way. I also found it interesting that she not only talked about taking care of the home, but how to spend time with your children as well. A little out of date, but probably not too much has changed since it was written.

[Lorna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This lady is my hero. (Her philosophies actually remind me of my own dear mother.) This book was written before computers or apps and in a time when people had larger families & not as many women were employed outside their homes. And yet some ideas and techniques never become old-fashioned. I am now highly motivated to organize my files and family history stuff! Yea.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this at our Stake Goods Exchange. It has some good ideas that I've already implemented into my homemaking. Kinda interesting, maybe some of it is out of date, but I'm looking for any tips I can get to improve my home managing skills.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is definitely dated but it motivated me to be more tidy and organized in my homemaking. Personally I think the number of little poems she includes is a little overkill but overall it was an interesting read.

[Berni · Rating 4 out of 5]

I know it's cheesy and way outdated but I loved this book. I even went through with my highlighter!

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one I like to read from time to time again. Because each time I read it I gain some thing new from it.

[Sierra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty good... gives some good organizing tips. Why did I read it again? Oh yeah, my mom told me to...

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned a lot of basic skills you need to know as a homemaker. I would recommend this book to anyone who is just learning to set up an organized and happy home.

[Camilla · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the organization techniques from toys, to laundry to filing papers. This book was a definite motivator, one I need on my bookshelf. I have not had moldy stinky laundry for weeks!

[Deanna Sutter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Liked Art of Homemaking better, but a good review of her main points.