The covers of the House of Night series promises a world of mystery, romance and ancient conspiracies and neglect to mention that it's really more of a world of informed abilities, double standards and lame, predictable plots. This fourth book in the series is no exception and, if anything, is worse than the earlier books.
Before I go on, I'd just like to warn that there are spoilers ahead, so if you actually think that these books can be spoiled (*snort*) beware. Here we go...
In this book, we rejoin Zoey "I'm so speschul it's a curse I just want to be normal" Redbird right after she lost three boyfriends and all her friends turned their back on her. Don't feel too bad for Zoey, though, because in fifty pages she'll have her friends back (because of someone else's help and not through any kind of sacrifise or work on her part) and by the end of the book, at least two of her boyfriends will have forgiven her for no reason and a third one might be in the making. Hallelujah, praise Nyx. You know what - writing that physically hurt.
What I find most astounding about this seris is the fact that there's been four books in the series and they only span a period of about two-three months. In this time, Zoey has (and this is major spoiler territory):
- Gained four best friends, lost their trust and gotten it back again
- Broken up with her human boyfriend, gotten together with him again because they bonded over his blood, lost his trust when she slept with someone else and magically regained his trust for no reason
- Gotten a super hot vampyre boyfriend who liked her for no reason, lost him when he caught her sleeping with a teacher, and regained his trust for no reason
- Started flirting with a teacher and sleeping with him, thus losing the two other boyfriends plus the teacher who was almost immediately killed after they slept together
- Found out that her mentor, whom she otherwise considered a mentor and mother figure, was evil for no obvious reason and has been bringing dead fledgling vampyres back from the dead for... some reason
- Lost her best friend because she died, gotten her back when she came back as an undead creepy thing, and gotten her back once again when her humanity was restored
- Overtaken all the power, influence, and boyfriend that another girl possessed and has since become friends with said girl for no apparent reason
- Gotten a gazillion superpowers and so many weird tattoos all over her body that even most zebras would just kind of snort because guuuuurl, dat's too much
- Almost lost her grandmother twice
And I could go on. It's like there is some kind of action, some kind of plot crammed into every single flipping sentence. You don't have time to breathe. Not even at chapter breaks. Sometimes there's a chapter break even though the scene just goes on in the next chapter. It's a steaming mess, is what it is. As much as I like action packed books, this just feels like too much. It's nice to get a breather every once in a while, some description, some atmosphere. The book just flies by at a million miles an hour and because something happens all the damn time, I have no sense of how the school looks or feels. I know they try and cram description down my throat to try and force me to find it beautiful, but it doesn't work.
Even if they did slow down, where are all the other characters? The side characters? The dinner lady? The janitor? The other students? The teachers that aren't relevant to the plot? I don't care about any damn thing about this school because I don't know anything about it. The side characters are hardly ever named, if they are it's only to praise Zoey or to let us know that she doesn't like them. That does not a great setting make - it's bland and forgettable.
But it's not like I care about the main characters either, because fact is they're dull, one-dimensional and, in cases where they try to introduce some character development (HELLO APHRODITE) they are clumsily executed. Aphrodite is the most blatant case of a ridiculously poorly written character. I don't know what on Earth is going on, but by god, they messed up her character. Zoey and all her kindhearted friends are quick to tell us how much of a bitch and slut Aphrodite is, and while she certainly hasn't been rosy and kind and generous, was there really ever a time where she was that bad? Even if the bitch part is true, the slut part... kind of doesn't ring true. Aphrodite has had a total of one boyfriend so far and she has cheated on zero of them. All her other interaction with the opposite sex consists of flirting with guys... which is apparently so disgusting. Anyway, Aphrodite tells us herself that she's so nasty to her boyfriends, so it has to be true... right?
'Show, Don't Tell' has never been this thoroughly bludgeoned to death and left in an alley to bleed out.
Her becoming Zoey's friend is contrived and handled in such a hamfisted manner, she pretty much overshadowed much of the book with how over the top she is.
I can't even remember all the things that made me want to laugh out loud while throwing the book at a wall because it happened so many times. One of my favourite things had to be Zoey's sudden connection with a guy she's known for a grand total of one day, whom she then proceeds to snog while he is dying and gushing blood out of every orifice in what is probably the least romantic scene I've read since Fifty Shades of Whyyyyy Do I Do This to Myself. Another hall of fame moment has to be the clumsiest bit of exposition I have ever read - rather than relaying everything that happened in the third book through ordinary narration, Zoey says it all out loud. All of it. It is so gloriously bad, so delightfully clumsy, it made me want to travel back in time, pat Louise the 15 year old writer of some of the worst texts in existence on the head and say 'You know, kiddo, all things considered, you weren't so bad'.
All of this amounts to basically the worst book I've read of the series, and yet... I'm afraid my brain deceives me. Near the end, when the climax of the book was coming, I realised I'd forgotten just how bland and predictable the books truly are. I actually read it and thought 'Oh, yeah, I know they're foreshadowing this but they're totally going to do this other thing'.... which they didn't. At all. They went with their trite, even more predictable ending that they had already foreshadowed to death. And when I say foreshadowed I mean that they pretty much just stated what was going to happen and then it happened. Like reading a scientific paper, except more predictable.
All this said, do I not recommend reading this or the other books of the series? If you know me, you already know what the answer is: Go read it. Really, I recommend this trainwreck with all my heart. It's like the horribly deformed offspring of a Mary Sue litmus test and a list of what not to do when you're writing. It's like That Novel you wrote when you were fifteen (you know which one I mean!) only published and read by a wide audience. It's like something out of a legend. It is glorious.
I recommend the entirety of the series to everyone. Go out there and read horrible books and learn, broaden your horizon, read and read critically so that when you're presented with crap like this by publishers, you don't just take it in without question - go forth and read the horrible books for they will make the world a better place, one informed ability at a time.