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Crazy Sh*t Old People Say
With old age comes grey hair, dodgy knees, a sudden passion for re-runs of Murder, She Wrote, and an apparent God-given licence to speak one's mind and be generally offensive without fear of retribution. Under the guise of passing on the benefits of their experience to family members or just casual acquaintances, old people exercise their right to swear, cuss and insult as they please. These feisty philosophers take no prisoners as they use their scalpel-like tongues to dissect modern life and the younger generations. If challenged over their outrageous comments, they'll play the age you know the sort of thing - 'I'm eighty-six, I've fought for my country, and if I want to call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, then I'll call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, Vicar'. Other gems It bugs me when people say, 'Life is short'. What the hell does it mean? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! Are they going to do something that's longer? Son, if it's got tits or tyres, you're gonna have trouble with it. We all have our disappointments in life, son, and I'm talking to mine right now. The only way in which life resembles a bed of roses is that you encounter a lot of pricks along the way. Sure I'm surprised you can't get a job, son. I heard the world was crying out for someone who is lazy, has no qualifications but can spit gum into a waste paper basket from ten feet. Don't you think you might stand a better chance of becoming a captain of industry if you got rid of some of that metal shit on your body - like the nose stud and the eyebrow rings? Donald Trump may have a crap haircut but I bet he doesn't have pierced fucking nipples. Son, if life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. The secret of a happy life is to run out of cash and air at exactly the same time.
256 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2011
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
March 12, 2015
Just got this for a quarter at a church bazaar flea market. The title caught my eye so I picked it up & read a few entries..... I had to have it! I'll need to start studying this very closely so I'm prepared when the time comes. :P
June 29, 2019
Amusing stuff
Most of it is mildly amusing, some is actually funny and some is rather sick. That's about all there is to it really.
Most of it is mildly amusing, some is actually funny and some is rather sick. That's about all there is to it really.
April 11, 2014
This book is very British, I can hear a lot of the quotes in the very British accent of on old gentleman. That being said, as an American, I didn't understand the humor of quite a few of the entries. I'm sure they're hilarious, I just don't have the cultural background to understand them. Still a fun book.
January 25, 2012
Reasonably humorous book with supposed phrases / sayings old the "older" generation.
It's not the best book in the world, but I've come across a lot worse and it can be picked up and put down at will.
It's not the best book in the world, but I've come across a lot worse and it can be picked up and put down at will.
October 25, 2011
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..... working with old people didnt take away from this book... it just brought everything they normally say to me to the front of my mind... Old People Rock My Socks!!!!!
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews