[(Active Listening)] [By (author) Carl R Rogers ] published on

by Carl R. Rogers

2015 Reprint of 1957 Edition. Full facsimile of the original edition. Not reproduced with Optical Recognition Software. "Active Listening," first developed by Rogers and Farson, is a therapeutic technique designed to promote positive change in the client. Active listening is a communication technique used in counselling, training and conflict resolution, which requires the listener to feed back what they hear to the speaker, by way of re-stating or paraphrasing what they have heard in their own words, to confirm what they have heard and moreover, to confirm the understanding of both parties. It continues to have a lasting influence to this day.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Leadership, Relationships, Communication, Counselling

Paperback

First published September 4, 1957

About the author

"Experience is, for me, the highest authority. The touchstone of validity is my own experience. No other person's ideas, and none of my own ideas, are as authoritative as my experience. It is to experience that I must return again and again, to discover a closer approximation to truth as it is in the process of becoming in me." -Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person

DEVELOPED THEORIES - THERAPIES
Person-Centered; Humanistic; Client-Centered; Student-Centered

TIMELINE
1902 - Carl Rogers was born in Oak Park, Illinois.
1919 - Enrolled at University of Wisconsin.
1924 - Graduated from University of Wisconsin and enrolled at Union Theological Seminary.
1926 - Transferred to Columbia.
1931- Earned Ph.D. from Columbia.
1940 - Began teaching at University of Ohio.
1946 - Elected president of American Psychological Association (APA).
1951 - Published Client-centered Therapy.
1961 - Published On Becoming A Person.

Reviews

[Kelvino · Rating 4 out of 5]

An unexpectedly very very short book, thanks archive.org for the free reads I love that site.

I think most people would find this useful and interesting especially if they're the type of people that don't know what people mean when they're told that they're not "listening". Active listening is best defined by ... this one youtube video called : "The most underrated social skill and how to use it". Yes I click on just about anything, no I am not subscribed to charisma teaching channels.

I interpret active listening as both an attitude and an ensemble of techniques. It's an ensemble of techniques in the sense that it's really quite simple to do :
- make sure your speaker feels acknowledged while encouraging them to keep going. It can be simple non-verbal cues like nodding, reaffirming what they're saying, as long as you make them aware that you're interested in what they're saying
- identify the emotion behind the informational content of sentences. I recll Alexis asking : "Do you wanna drive?" but it's obvious in context that she meant "I'm tired, can you drive?". On a side note, obviously it should be up to the speaker to enunciate themselves clearly but it's understandable that it takes some energy to announce what you actually desire esp if you've grown up being embarrased to ask. Anyways, case-by-case basis as always
- trying to quickly and naturally parphrase what was just said how you understood it to make sure you're both on the same page. I find that this tip is hard to follow naturally but as you naturally get better at synthesizing information over time, it's honestly freakishly helpful. There's so many arguments I've gotten into because I'd failed to identify/misunderstood a fundamental point. Only to realize it later and understand we'd both just gotten heated for no reason.

But at the same time, active listening is also an attitude because what are tools without soul behind it? Rogers states that "We cannot employ it as a technique if our fundamental attitudes are in conflict with its basic concepts. If we try, our behaviour will be empty and sterile and our associates will be quick to recognize this." This is not an essay so I will not be supporting that quotation, it's self-evident.

There was another interesting point about compliments when someone feels like a fraud. When they feel unworthy of their position, they have a weak self-image and interpret the world through that lens. Thrusting compliments on them attacks this self-image through compliments that depicts them otherwise only worsens the case as it renders it more difficult to disclose their own percieved faults that distress them.

I'm betting that the people who need to read this book the most will unfortunately as well not be the type of people that would take the time to read it BUT Mr Rogers said that it's okay. In the same way that anger begets anger, happiness begets happiness, active listening will also beget active listening. If you actively listen to someone, making your speaker feel listened to, secured and as if you have an interest in them, like any other emotion, it will spread to them. In my experience, it generally turns out that way, so I also second what he's saying. I'm sure anyone reading this can empathize, do good and people will do good back to you. My summer school music prof was talking about smth silly like good vibrations and ig it's like that. Anyways, short read, you can finish it in about 2-3 toilet trips probably.

[Lyn]

Why go outside to help with social awkwardness when you can just read a book about it instead?

[Rashid Saif · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very short book, 20 pages. Extremely practical. Teaches you how to become a better listener.

[Mariia Lyshen]

бізнес-центровано, але все так само корисно. не оціню, бо очікувала чогось, що буде стосуватися консультування та терапії

[Tatiana Lukyanova · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great for it’s time. Nice overview to from where all the hype regarding Active Listening started from and how shallow it is interpreted nowadays.

[Oliver · Rating 2 out of 5]

A business orientated approach to listening. Very high level.

[Anthony Rogan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very interesting but short

[Scott J · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exceptionally helpful. Rogers was a trailblazer in human feeling — in developing the person-centered approach to life. A profound listener. And a methodical scientist in the research behind humanistic psychology.

[Kumar · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent handbook for applying Rogerian psychology techniques for active listening in the workplace for building team cohesion and morale.

[Ike Wylie · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded up.

Weird that this seemed to be Roger's dabble in industrial psychology (quite literally an employee-centered approach, pg. 23). Although that concept, perhaps myopically, makes me want to vom, it's an interesting summary of patterns of behavior that appear in Rogers interviews and session transcripts. Because it's so short, and I give all my real Rogerian goss in my On Becoming a Person review, I've just collected some thoughts and quotes here:

Rogers invites a paradox into the room. That judgement, positive or negative, is not a worthwhile part of the therapeutic relationship, that positive advice which is given, or compliments that are given may be just as limiting as negative advice. Reminds me of the Buddhist sentiment of, "who knows what is good and what is bad".

Pg. 9, a person's language: "Any message a person tries to get across usually has two components: the content of the message and the feeling or attitude underlying this content. Both are important, both give the message meaning." For me this brings in the idea that communication is ultimately functional. It serves a purpose. A question that could be asked "what does this person want?" or "what are they trying to say?". Rogers states that the feeling beneath the content is usually more important than the content itself.

Pg. 11, attitude of active listening: "By consistently listening to a speaker you are conveying the idea that: "I'm interested in you as a person, and I think that what you feel is important. I respect your thoughts, and even if I don't agree with them, I know that they are valid for you. I feel sure that you have a contribution to make. I'm not trying to change you or evaluate you. I just want to understand you. I think you' re worth listening to, and I want you to know that I'm the kind of a person you can talk to.""
- Instead of dismissing another person out of hand, sit with the feeling for a moment, what is it like to be the low-in-openness, gruff, traditionally minded businessman who really is curious in "how can listening improve production?" (a question which Rogers immediately validates as 'so honest, and so legitimate', leaving my cynical, liberal inclinations agog). Sounds unsettling! But also interesting.

Pg. 12, conveying understanding: "A good rule of thumb is to assume that one never really understands until he
can communicate this understanding to the other's satisfaction." (Exercise: next time you are in a lively debate, rephrase your counterparts argument in your own words, you cannot move on until you've rephrased their argument to their satisfaction).

Active listening is not an easy skill, it takes practice, and perhaps challenging your basic attitudes towards interactions.

Pg. 15, personal risk : "Active listening carries a strong element of personal risk. If we manage to accomplish what we are describing here--to sense deeply the feelings of another person, to understand the meaning his experiences have for him, to see the world as he sees it--we risk being changed ourselves."

Pg. 18, emotions of the listener: "That is, the more we find it necessary to respond to our own needs, the less we are able to respond to the needs of another."

The idea of being honest about our emotions as a listener. That it is better to be resentful or full of admiration than put up a false front. Scary!

Pg. 19, listening to ourselves: "To listen to oneself is a prerequisite to listening to others...When we are most aroused, excited, and demanding, we are least able to understand our own feelings and attitudes. Yet, in dealing with the problems of others, it becomes most important to be sure of one's own position, values, and needs... A person's listening ability is limited by his ability to listen to himself."

Honorable mentions:

Listening is important even in front of a group of people, focusing on one in the group as an individual, shows the individuals in the group that they may be shown sensitivity, too.

"Treating others as personalities." (As opposed to cogs in a machine).

"Listening is a beginning toward making the individual feel himself worthy of making contributions" (Give esteem)

[Willa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have always loved Carl Rogers; his writing provides so many simple but instructive principles for therapists and for anyone looking to improve their interpersonal skills (at work or with their partner). I was surprised that the book was more geared towards a business context, but nevertheless, he describes the most basic principles of being a good listener (which is also is the first step in being a good therapist). I love the concept of active listening because of its simplicity and accessibility, but in my experience, it's also one of the most underutilized principles in effective interpersonal communication. I always find it so interesting how much people think they are listening because they can parrot back some words or summarize, yet Rogers says "it requires that we get inside the speaker, that we grasp from his point of view, just what it is he is communicating." He then talks about listening for total meaning (content + feeling), reading for all cues (including tonality and body language), and also identifying barriers within yourself as a listener to actually listening (defensiveness, resentment, etc):"We all live in glass houses as far as our attitudes are concerned. They always show through. And if we are only making a pretense of interest in the speaker, he will quickly pick this up. And once he does, he will no longer express himself freely." He also talks about why we don't listen and the personal risk we take when we do: "It is threatening to give up, even momentarily, what we believe and start thinking in someone else's terms. It takes a great deal of inner security and courage to be able to risk one's self in understanding another."


This quote sums up perfectly why therapy can be so profound and effective in change-making for people who have not experienced this in other areas of their life:
"if I want to help a man reduce his defensiveness and become more adaptive, I must try to remove the threat of myself as his potential changer [...] it is in this climate and this climate only that the individual feels safe enough to incorporate new experiences and new values into his concept of himself"

[Miri · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a short pamphlet that was written for businesses to help them improve by teaching effective communication and listening skills. It's a great little book/pamphlet that teaches the basics of listening and provides some great reminders. One of the best parts that I need to continually remind myself in my personal and professional life is this:

"Passing judgment, whether critical or favorable, makes free expression difficult. Similarly, advice and
information are almost always seen as efforts to change a person and thus serve as barriers to his self-
expression and the development of a creative relationship. Moreover, advice is seldom taken, and information hardly ever utilized. The eager young trainee probably will not become patient just because
he is advised that “the road to success in business is a long, difficult one, and you must be patient.” And
it is no more helpful for him to learn that “only one out of a hundred trainees reaches a top management
position." Interestingly, it is a difficult lesson to learn that positive evaluations are sometimes as blocking
as negative ones. lt is almost as destructive to the freedom of a relationship to tell a person that he is
good or capable or right, as to tell him otherwise. To evaluate him positively may make it more difficult for him to tell of the faults that distress him or the ways in which he believes he is not competent."

[Scott Pearson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This short book, originally penned in 1957, addresses an important topic that’s become an expected leadership competency today. Active listening is a core expectation for managers in almost every field. Although it sounds easy to do, the practice actually requires a great deal of discipline and mental acuity. Fortunately, by encouraging the self-worth of the speaker, it unleashes a world of creative energy that can multiply any team’s accomplishments. As the authors contend, it simply produces better business results.

Psychotherapists like the authors pioneered active listening, but this book deliberately makes the case that this practice should be applied to the business world. Its case has succeeded wonderfully over the last 70 years. It does contain some antiquated material, particularly around gender roles. The reader should not let this small lapse distract them because the central message is so powerful.

This book is the classical statement on the matter for the general public. Recent books have expanded this foundation into more contemporary applications. Still, exploring the seminal work, as short as it is, can add value to any reader. In today’s team-oriented world necessitating big, diverse projects, active listening represents an invaluable skill for any leader and distinguishes those who will have the most impact.

[Josh Ashing · Rating 3 out of 5]

Active listening is listening on purpose.
To be effective at all in active listening, one must have a sincere interest in the speaker

- Listen for total meaning
- Respond to feelings.
- Note all cues.

Active listening carries a strong element of personal risk.
If we manage to accomplish what we are describing here—to sense deeply the feeling of another person, to understand the meaning his experiences have for him, to see the world as he sees it—we risk being changed ourselves…
It is threatening to give up, even momentarily, what we believe and start thinking in someone else’s terms. It takes a great deal of inner security and courage to be able to risk one’s self in understanding another.

*deep-listening affirmation handout*
“I’m interested in you as a person, and I think that what you feel is important.
I respect your thoughts, and even if I don’t agree with them, I know that they are valid for you.
I feel sure that you have a contribution to make. I’m not trying to change you or evaluate you.
I just want to understand you. I think you’re worth listening to, and I want you to know that I’m the kind of a person you can talk to.”

[Mine · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a short read with some useful tips on how to listen better. It doesn’t go into a lot of detail, but I think that’s intentional — the goal seems more about introducing the idea than breaking it down deeply.

I picked it up hoping to improve how I listen in personal relationships, but the book is mostly focused on the workplace. I wasn’t really into the idea of listening as a tool to boost productivity or improve company performance — that approach just didn’t speak to me.

I guess I chose the perspective I’m least interested in when it comes to listening. Still, one key idea that stood out to me is that active listening means paying attention to the full meaning of what someone’s saying — not just the words, but also the feelings behind them. It’s about picking up on non-verbal cues and really trying to respond to the emotional side of the message too. I think that’s really powerful.

[William · Rating 4 out of 5]

a fairly decent read, short and quick into the point at just 25 pages. despite being 68 years old everything written for the most part still rings true. although the examples are a bit dated. My only disappointment with this work is it's primarily targeted at industrial relations rather than just generic interpersonal skills.. Also the copy I ordered from Amazon appears to be a print on demand book and not of the highest quality.

But it's definitely something I might read again from time to time to keep myself in the zone as I improve my listening abilities.

[Durian Jaykin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A simple premise that is filled with hope. My cynicism is also acknowledged in the book. Of course higher-ups won't adopt this. But if we love each other, share concern for one another during our short time in this world, I believe our world will be a much better place in the long run.

Dale Carnegie's quote sums it up perfectly, "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."

[Rod Naquin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really short book—a booklet. I’ve listened to it twice. I’m probably going to blog about it cause it’s really fascinating to consider this 1950s perspective. There’s an interesting claim somewhere abt attending to individuals for the collaboration of the group. Sounds like a hypothesis to test

[Andrew]

Short read but packed with good information. I appreciated how the book definitively breaks down what active listening is, how to be better at it, and lists insightful benefits you'd realistically achieve by employing the methodologies described.

Though the examples they give are a bit dated, the core message feels timeless.

[Alex Price · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not worded or explained the best, definitely lots of jargon. Overall though it is a read I think most people would benefit from just for learnign to communicate better. I think some ideas here are distilled more clearly in Never Split the Difference, but that book is also full of other things and geared at a different focus.

[Dolf van der Haven · Rating 4 out of 5]

In barely 20 pages Carl Rogers explains the basic attitude of therapists and supervisors, something that took me four years of counseling training to master.
The book was written in the 1950s, which becomes apparent in his business examples, giving the book a bit a dated flavour. The core message about attitude and taking the other’s perspective is still valid, though.

[Closetnarnian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, to the point, potentially groundbreaking in a 'if only everyone would practice this' type of way.
Personally I think really listening to someone is a lot harder than people make it out to be, so this book was quite useful.

[Daniel Guilherme · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was a good book overall, unfortunately it was very short and more focused on business rather than in general psichology, but it gave a good glimpse of how active listening works and the do and don'ts.

[Stephen Yoder · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were a few references here & there that were dated, perhaps, but overlooking that, I mean, wow. Not a bunch of fluff here and Carl Rogers gets his point across. I thought I was a pretty good active listener but he's pointed out a few things I need to improve. Go, Carl.

[Luke Mohnasky · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone studying Roger's life and work, this tiny book is shockingly accurate to Roger's broader philosophy. It helps center me on the therapeutic skills I feel necessary in the counseling relationship. Even in a small book, Rogers is still himself.

[Geraldo Fontes]

boa

[Ugo Obinnah · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Quick Read, Good Reminder

I would recommend this to anyone who wants to improve their listening skills. Is a quick read and a good reminder on therapeutic communication.

[Andrew Anderson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very short book. It was about active listening for business. It was interesting but could have been more detailed. I will be researching this topic.

[Elizabeth]

As seen in the Harvard Business Review: https://hbr.org/2024/03/negotiate-lik....

[Betsy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A brief, clear book with information and examples of the power of active listening.