I HAD TO BREAK ME: A Poetry Collection

by NISHA

I needed to experience rejection so many times

To embrace the stillness I had rejected

Pain is like a at once destructive, creative, and revelatory. In her debut poetry collection, I HAD TO BREAK ME , Nisha faces the fires in her life and finds incredible beauty among the ashes.

You’ll accompany the poet in her previous position as a healthcare provider, struggling to heal patients within a broken system. You’ll journey to Nepal, the poet’s place of birth, as she mourns the wreckage of the devastating 2015 earthquake and helps her community rebuild. And you’ll bear witness as she silently reflects on past loves that brought her both heartache and self-discovery. On every page, the poet’s sparse, cyclic language invites you to witness the very core of her heart—and, perhaps, to see yourself in each all-too-human struggle.

I HAD TO BREAK ME is a spiritual memoir in verse that celebrates both cataclysms and joys. At its deepest level, this collection insists that for every external battle we wage, what we truly fight against—and hope to win—is ourselves.

Genres: Poetry

240 pages, Paperback

Published March 9, 2023

Reviews

[Watch Jamie Read · Rating 5 out of 5]

“When you have not embraced your own heart Of course others will break it easily.”

Wars, You, Mourning, Earthquake, Stillness, and Me. These are the categories of emotions that this beautiful poetry collection emulates. The emotions were so real and raw. I found myself in many of these poems and felt my heart beat in tune with these words. I felt most compelled towards the sections Wars and Stillness; however, all of the sections were filled with beautiful imagery and brought powerful emotions. This was a wonderful collection and I encourage any who love poetry to read it! Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for giving me the opportunity to read this beauty!

“I am in love with me I am in love with every pain in me Every rejection within me I am simply in love with this moment”

[Eram Hussain · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a collection of poems divided into 6 categories - Wars, You, Mourning, Earthquake, Stillness and Me.
I thought the whole book was beautifully written and very easy to understand.

[Rosite Sony · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing how this book felt for me. It was wonderful, just beautiful. A collection of poems that I would recommend to my friends. Definitely worth the read.

[anakdenesor · Rating 3 out of 5]

"I Had to Break Me" is an emotionally captivating story that delves into the depths of self-discovery and personal growth. The narrative follows the journey of the protagonist as she confronts and overcomes life's obstacles, ultimately finding strength and resilience from within. Nisha beautifully weaves together themes of love, loss, and redemption, creating a poignant and thought-provoking tale that will leave readers reflecting on their own lives. As the story unfolds, we witness her growth and transformation, which serves as a powerful reminder that it is through our darkest moments that we often find our true strength. The exploration of themes like love and loss is beautifully handled in "I Had to Break Me." Nisha's nuanced portrayal of relationships, both romantic and familial, adds depth and complexity to the narrative. The raw emotions conveyed throughout the book are incredibly moving and will resonate with readers on a profound level. Moreover, Nisha's prose is poetic and lyrical, creating an immersive reading experience. Her vivid descriptions bring the settings to life, enabling readers to visualize every scene with clarity. The pacing of the story is well-balanced, keeping readers engaged and eager to uncover the protagonist's fate.

[Jxn · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I Had to Break Me," Nisha takes us on an introspective journey through the tumultuous landscapes of rejection, stillness, and self-discovery. This debut poetry collection explores the transformative power of pain, likening it to a fire that consumes, creates, and reveals. Through the poet's poignant verses, we are invited to witness her personal and professional struggles, as she grapples with the challenges of the healthcare system while attempting to provide healing and solace to her patients. Additionally, Nisha takes us back to her homeland, Nepal, where she confronts the aftermath of a devastating earthquake and actively participates in the rebuilding of her community. Amidst these trials, the poet delves into the realms of past love, unveiling the heartaches and self-realizations that emerge from such experiences. The simplicity and cyclic nature of Nisha's language beckon us to delve into the depths of her heart, encouraging us to relate to the shared human struggles that permeate each page of this profound collection. "I Had to Break Me" is not merely a compilation of poems; it is a spiritual memoir that embraces both the cataclysms and the joys that life offers. Through its verses, the collection emphasizes the notion that our most significant battles are not fought externally, but within ourselves. It compels us to confront our own inner conflicts, encouraging us to acknowledge and overcome the barriers that hinder our personal growth. As we immerse ourselves in Nisha's words, we are reminded that the pursuit of self-awareness and self-acceptance is a profound and transformative journey that ultimately leads to liberation. Nisha's ability to blend vulnerability and strength within her poetry is deeply commendable. With each line, she skillfully paints a vivid picture of her experiences, allowing readers to connect with her on a profoundly emotional level. Whether she is articulating the anguish of rejection or the solace found in embracing stillness, her words resonate and resonate deeply. "I Had to Break Me" is an evocative invitation to embrace the complexities of life, to confront our own demons, and to find solace and purpose amidst the chaos. Nisha's masterful storytelling through poetry offers a profound and thought-provoking exploration of the human condition. This collection serves as a reminder that our struggles, when embraced and overcome, can give birth to immense strength and resilience. By the final page, readers will be left with a renewed sense of hope and a deep appreciation for the transformative power of pain.

[Josh Deena · Rating 3 out of 5]

First, as always, I want to thank NetGalley and Expressions of Nisha for the eARC of "I Had to Break Me." Reading this book left me feeling a number of ways, and the largest feeling was of gratitude. I am grateful that Nisha decided to share her story and write it in an often very beautiful way.
With lines such as:
"The story the universe writes for me
Is like a sky beyond my grasp,"
Nisha has some of most beautiful conceptual poetry that I have read in a while. Throughout the book, there are standout lines like that, particularly in parts four and five. However, at times I will say the wording becomes clunky and some of the words such as "intense," can be used a bit too frequently. I also think it may be helpful to use titles to break up some of the poems, because while they do often flow together, at times there are some that feel disparate within the same section. All in all, I did greatly enjoy this book, and I believe that it was largely beautiful and well-written!

[Julie Kristine · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Earth is my country
Its dimensions are my joy
Don't limit me with the boundaries of your mind
Don't confine me to the space of a so-called nation
I just need a small, clean space to dance
To enjoy nature's bountiful essence
To live in harmony
But first I need to be in harmony with myself"

Thank you NetGalley and Expressions of Nisha LLC for letting me read this ARC in exchange for an honest review. I enjoyed this collection or poems; it's beautifully written and deal with a variety of topics that I think most people can relate to in one way or another, such as love and loss, resentment and redemption. My favourite part of the collection was the first section, titled War, but the rest were also really good. My one criticism would be that a lot of the poems blended together in my mind and it wasn't entirely clear whether I was still reading the same or a different one, but all in all I enjoyed this book.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

[Anton Straney-Kraft · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think the author is brave for putting this out into the world. She describes her dark thoughts and feelings in a candid and unedited way, almost like it's her personal diary that's been published. That's, unfortunately, also where my criticism comes in: it feels very under-edited (in my opinion, truly great poetry is edited to the point where every word, every punctuation, every line break, is considered and deliberate). In this collection, I found it hard to distinguish between the different poems, as they're all about the same subject and are written in a very similar way. No one poem stood out from the rest.

In the author's defence, she does mention at the beginning of this book that she's not a poet, so perhaps I'm being too critical. She has a lovely voice and I would be keen to read something of hers in the future when she's had time to fine-tune her skill.

[Joy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to the author, to Netgalley, and Expressions of Nisha for this free eArc in exchange for my honest opinion. The Author shared a collection of poems that, if you listen, can tell you more in a few lines than most memoirs do in hundreds of pages. The style reminds me of Rupi Kaur, whose writing I love. I wanted to read the book on the sole premise of a healthcare opinion due to my profession as a nurse. WAR was the sexton that related with me the most. I had so many emotions during that section that really spoke to the longing of sorrow side to my personality. I thought the whole book was beautifully and deeply written. I hope to see more pieces of art from this writer.

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

First of all, I want to thank the author and NetGalley for providing me with an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. I had to break me by Nisha is coming out on March 9, 2023.

I absolutely love poetry. This author did such a great job with expressing her feelings. The way she writes is beautiful and the poetry is easy to understand. I can see how this book had negative reviews and it may not be for everyone but I loved it.

#poetryselflovemindfulnessmeditation #NetGalley

[_ishouldbereading · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you so much to Netgally and to Nisha for giving me a chance to read this book!

A breath of fresh air, that's what this book is for me. After reading romance continuously, this book came in as a refresher for me.
-->Very inspiring and heartfelt! I love Nisha's poetry! Each of them is a glimpse of Nisha's life. I got the message she wanted to convey. It's quite heavy though, to know or bear the emotions behind all those words. But it's real. A touch of truth in our reality.

[Madison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sometimes I read poetry and find myself whispering “okay, 👏🏼” along the way. This was one of those books. This felt like poetry, a raw account of self discovery, and a meditative teaching all at the same time. I soaked up the rhythm of these poems. If you are someone who cares about doing the deep spiritual work of knowing/learning yourself and reflecting on sacred spaces - this will totally be your vibe.

The book is divided into 6 sections: Wars, You, Mourning, Earthquake, Stillness, and Me. Topics include self love and identity, romantic love and attachment, and learning who we are and why that is powerful.

There were a few pieces of that felt disjointed from the rest of the book/section, but I didn’t mind too much. This is worth the read.

Nisha says she is not a poet, but I’m shocked this is her first book. I’m so glad she decided to share her truth with us. Thanks to Expressions of Nisha and NetGalley for the copy.

[Marina Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a very beautifully written and powerful book. Although there were some parts I could really stay focused on, 75% of this book I understood and loved!

Thank you netgalley and publisher for the chance to read this book!

[Rebecca]

Nisha has a beautiful way of presenting inner turmoil and its back and forth battles with the mind.
Each section of this collection felt like a new breath being taken as you wonder whether or not the soul can overcome its tragedy.

[Mo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fabulous collection of heartfelt, intense, emotional poetry. Truly a spiritual Memoir in Verse.
Could resonate with so much of what was written.

Highly recommended to poetry lovers and those that 'feel'

[Jana Whaley · Rating 3 out of 5]

The words were broken and beautiful. I loved it

[tracy ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this.

Some of them made me pause for a good 2 minutes.
Thought-provoking. Raw. Love seeing her choose self love over everything.

[Feefs ˚♡˚ · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a great collection of poems! I feel like it offers moments of beauty and reflection that make it a worthwhile read overall.

Thank you Netgalley for this arc!