Unholy Cow

A Story For Demented Children

by John H. Carroll

Opal has never been trick-or-treating because her parents think Halloween is evil and candy is bad for children. She sits alone in her bed with her emo bunny and longs to dress up and ask strangers for candy. Meanwhile, everyone keeps talking about holy cows, but nobody wants to discuss evil unholy cows that creep through nighttime pastures in search for opportunities to make the world a terrible place to live. Runyx the Unholy Cow, together with Stryk the Scarecrow and Able the Raven have a mischievous plan to change Opal’s life.

Genres: Short Stories, Fantasy, Childrens, Humor, Ebooks

18 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 2, 2011

About the author

John H. Carroll was the youngest of seven children and was born in Atlanta, Georgia in 1970 where he was kept in a dresser drawer with the clean socks. Luckily, he wasn’t kept with the dirty socks or else he might have grown up to become slightly warped.

As a child, John spent most of his time wandering through the Mojave Desert in an attempt to avoid people. He would stare at the sky, imagining what it would be like to explore different worlds. One of his favorite memories is watching his dad build the fuselage of Evel Kneivel’s skycycle in their garage. One of his least favorite moments was watching that skycycle fall into the Snake River. (Not his dad’s fault and he has documentation to prove it, so nyah)

As a teenager, John spent most of his time driving wherever he could in an attempt to avoid people. He would stare at the road, imagining what it would be like to explore different worlds. He was the captain of the chess team, lettered in golf and band while in high school, and wasn’t beaten up anywhere near as much as one might imagine.

As an adult, John spends most of his time gazing at a computer screen in an attempt to avoid people. He stares at the monitor for hours, imagining what it would be like to explore different worlds. Occasionally, he looks around to see what’s happening on planet Earth.

Quite frankly, it frightens him. He’s just going to do his best to write as many books as he can before aliens disintegrate humanity for being so irritating.

Emo bunny minions surround John at most times. He is their imaginary friend and they look to him for guidance. At one point, they took over the world. No one noticed because they left everything exactly as it was. They gave the world back after a week because it was depressing.

The Ryallon Series is his most popular endeavor into the field of writing. His Stories for Demented Children have lightened the hearts of many strange children and adults. He writes in the evenings and weekends whenever possible.

Reviews

[Nelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

LOL, so this was a cute little story. I never read short stories, but for lack of anything else to read, here I am reviewing Unholy Cow. I definitely value humor in writing (and anywhere else) and Unholy Cow had me chuckling out loud in several places. I'm sure it was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, but there's a reason the story is only getting 2 stars from me. The writing is just not that good. Although the HUMOR in the story is OK, the writing style, the story and character development, and the ending leave much to be desired. This mostly made me think of the author as a kid who wrote a story for a high school assignment and decided to be a bit of a smart-ass about it. However, if this became something much more polished and elaborated upon, I would definitely consider purchasing a children's book about a demonic cow and her friends who live to cause mayhem. Good idea, bad execution.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read Carroll's stories because they help me kill a little bit of time, and for the most part they are free Kindle books. This was really short and simple. A immortal demon cow and her friends a crow and a scarecrow decided to spread a little mischief on Halloween night. They go to the house a a little girl who is not allowed to Trick-or-Treat. Now this sounds like a good deed for these evil of creatures, but they have their own agenda. They want to get this girl in trouble with her parents because she is not allowed to go out on Halloween or eat candy. If you want to know what happens read this short story. It was fun to read, but I wish I would have read it on Halloween. It did put me in the mood for fall in this hot summer we have been having.

[Kristy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Eh, I didn't care for it. Having read some John Carroll stories before, I was expecting a more twistedly interesting finish...and there wasn't one. The cow, raven, and scarecrow convince the kid to go trick-or-treating, and that's about it.

[Angie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute story ...even if it doesn't want to be !

[Lucy Furr · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hahaha. Well it wasn't terrible, but it wasn't all that great either, but it did make me laugh a little, and certainly took very little time to read. I was kind of hoping that 'demented children' was code for 'adults who still act like children', but alas, this is definitely written in a simple, childlike manner. All in all, not too shabby if you're looking for something quick and easy to read.

[Onna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had a bit of trouble reading this book to my kids because of all the laughing! Perfect Halloween story! I totally recommend this short story! My kids loved it so much they have asked that we get his other stories and books.

[Shellie]

I wasn't a big fan of the books style and so never finished the book. No issue with the writing, but a story about talking, majical animals was just not an intoresting subject for me.That being said, I think it could be worth revisiting someday.

[Teresa Garcia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ah, the "evils" of Halloween (tongue firmly in cheek here). With this piece, you can definitely tell that the author is a parent, even without reading his bio.

Only a parent would come up with something like this. If you are a parent, then you will likely pick up on the humor very fast.

[Peacegal · Rating 2 out of 5]

Short ebook starring a malicious cow and her evil raven and scarecrow pals, and the mayhem they cause on Halloween. The story was a bit of a jumble, but thankfully lacked the frenetic pace of some of the author's other ebooks.

[Kayla · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun, short story. I greatly enjoyed it. Due to a bit of mature subject matter (drinking and smoking weed), I'm not sure I can recommend it for children. I woukd give an age range of 13 and older.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This felt like a short story that was part of either a larger story or perhaps in a series of related stories. It would definitely be interesting to have these characters continue.

[Renae · Rating 3 out of 5]

Better than the Attack of the Sugarplum Fairies. Still a little underdeveloped.

[DAISY READS HORROR · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a humorous tale. I have it under horror but it wasn't scary at all. It was rather quite funny & cute.

[Tjoel2 · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read March 2013.

Read on the Kindle.

[Wit · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once again, I feel that this story is almost too short. All of his short stories seem to take place in a larger mythos, but as individual acts more explanation is needed.