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The Henchmen's Book Club
Mark Jones is a henchman for hire. He guards bunkers, patrols perimeters and stands around in a boiler suit waiting to get knocked out by Ninjas. This is his job. He has worked for some of the most notorious super-villains the world has ever known – Doctor Thalassocrat, Victor Soliman, Polonius Crump; Mark was with each of them when they met their makers at the hands of British Secret Service super-spy, Jack Tempest, and lived to tell the tale – if not pay the bills. Still, for every hour under gunfire, there are weeks if not months of sitting around on monorails staring into space so Jones starts a book club with his fellow henchmen to help pass the time. It was only meant to be a bit of fun. It was never meant to save the world. "One of the best... ripping good yarns I have come across in quite a while" – The Literature Professors' Book Club
264 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 1, 2011
66 people are currently reading
708 people want to read
About the author
Danny King
39 books49 followersDanny King was born in Slough, Berkshire, the second son of Michael and Dorothy King. He and his two brothers, Ralph and Robin, lived on the Britwell Estate until 1979, when they moved to Yateley, Hampshire. He attended Yateley School but failed to gain any qualifications before leaving at the age of 16. He stacked shelves for a short stint in the Yateley branch of Somerfield (then Gateway), before working on various building sites as a hod carrier.
In 1991 he took an Access course at Farnborough College of Technology, which helped him land a place at The London College of Printing studying journalism. Between 1993 and 2002 he worked on various magazine titles, eventually becoming Editor of the Paul Raymond Publications title Mayfair (magazine). He now writes full-time.
In the late 1980s, he was arrested several times and convicted of burglary at Winchester Crown Court and car theft at Camberley Magistrates Court. It is largely due to receiving these convictions that he cites as his reasons for giving education a second go.
In 1991 he took an Access course at Farnborough College of Technology, which helped him land a place at The London College of Printing studying journalism. Between 1993 and 2002 he worked on various magazine titles, eventually becoming Editor of the Paul Raymond Publications title Mayfair (magazine). He now writes full-time.
In the late 1980s, he was arrested several times and convicted of burglary at Winchester Crown Court and car theft at Camberley Magistrates Court. It is largely due to receiving these convictions that he cites as his reasons for giving education a second go.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 108 reviews
February 19, 2021
I haven't been this ambivalent about a book since, oh, the onset of Quarantine Brain. My reading buddies and I wanted to prolong our baddie streak after finishing Hench. It turned out that The Henchmen's Book Club was what we thought we would get with Hench, only, you know, a little more regressive.
"But most of all, Bill just missed making a difference; even if that difference was invariably a terrifying plot that threatened to destabilise the entire free world. But like Bill said, it was just nice to be a part of something."
Mark Jones is a henchman in the Agency, one of the big employment agencies for supervillains. But despite steady work, it doesn't always pay well, and Mark's in debt to his father-in-law. As much as Mark would like to get out of the business, it's his only chance for a payday. The trouble is that the villains aren't all that interested in looking after their contracted employees and Mark keeps finding himself in hot water.
"Because loyalty’s a one-way street in this game, with often nothing more than broken promises, trap doors and piranha tanks waiting when it came time to paying the men who’d done the actual grafting."
So while Mark's standing around, he decides to start a book club with his fellow henches. It becomes a connection between some of the henches, although it is not without controversy: "The only serious danger I’d experienced was when I’d come perilously close to losing my nominating rights following some scandalously low scores for The Kenneth Williams Diaries."
The story is rather episodic, and for awhile, it was hard to parse out an overarching plot. It veers from one disastrous job to another. The humorous descriptions and asides were non-stop, and at times, exhausting. It should be noted that they were occasionally excessively juvenile, particularly a number of mentions of something being very "gay." An example: “Instead, I tried meditating my way to the surface. This sounds a bit gay, and I'll be the first to admit it, but it can actually save your life." Not only not really necessary, but I felt rather questionable coming from a guy who's reading books like The Time Traveler's Wife, The Client, Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian, Bodies, The Book of Illusions, and Beloved. Which--characters. I actually rather enjoyed how most of them were done, focusing on the henching, but adding a few details here and there to humanize them, especially Mr. Smith and Big Cat. The 'heroes' ended up being especially funny, with their imaginary takes on James Bond and an American Steven Segal-type action figure.
"'You're going to get us both killed, you great fuckwit!' I cringed, hardly daring to look over at the speedometer.
“Danger’s my middle name,” Tempest breezed.
“I never said danger. I said killed,” I pointed out. “And fuckwit.”
Honestly, I felt like this was a book in need of a strong editor. Take out a good forty pages of filler in the beginning, use the hench book club even more to create empathy, remove the tasteless 'gay' language, re-work descriptions of women so they don't automatically include the fuckability meter, and rework the problematic Africa section (or cut it), and it would be closer to a fun, four-star read. It would make a bankable difference between finishing this and wanting to try more of the author's works, both written and in screen. For now, I'll pass on further King.
Thanks to fellow henches: Nataliya, Stephen and jade
"But most of all, Bill just missed making a difference; even if that difference was invariably a terrifying plot that threatened to destabilise the entire free world. But like Bill said, it was just nice to be a part of something."
Mark Jones is a henchman in the Agency, one of the big employment agencies for supervillains. But despite steady work, it doesn't always pay well, and Mark's in debt to his father-in-law. As much as Mark would like to get out of the business, it's his only chance for a payday. The trouble is that the villains aren't all that interested in looking after their contracted employees and Mark keeps finding himself in hot water.
"Because loyalty’s a one-way street in this game, with often nothing more than broken promises, trap doors and piranha tanks waiting when it came time to paying the men who’d done the actual grafting."
So while Mark's standing around, he decides to start a book club with his fellow henches. It becomes a connection between some of the henches, although it is not without controversy: "The only serious danger I’d experienced was when I’d come perilously close to losing my nominating rights following some scandalously low scores for The Kenneth Williams Diaries."
The story is rather episodic, and for awhile, it was hard to parse out an overarching plot. It veers from one disastrous job to another. The humorous descriptions and asides were non-stop, and at times, exhausting. It should be noted that they were occasionally excessively juvenile, particularly a number of mentions of something being very "gay." An example: “Instead, I tried meditating my way to the surface. This sounds a bit gay, and I'll be the first to admit it, but it can actually save your life." Not only not really necessary, but I felt rather questionable coming from a guy who's reading books like The Time Traveler's Wife, The Client, Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian, Bodies, The Book of Illusions, and Beloved. Which--characters. I actually rather enjoyed how most of them were done, focusing on the henching, but adding a few details here and there to humanize them, especially Mr. Smith and Big Cat. The 'heroes' ended up being especially funny, with their imaginary takes on James Bond and an American Steven Segal-type action figure.
"'You're going to get us both killed, you great fuckwit!' I cringed, hardly daring to look over at the speedometer.
“Danger’s my middle name,” Tempest breezed.
“I never said danger. I said killed,” I pointed out. “And fuckwit.”
Honestly, I felt like this was a book in need of a strong editor. Take out a good forty pages of filler in the beginning, use the hench book club even more to create empathy, remove the tasteless 'gay' language, re-work descriptions of women so they don't automatically include the fuckability meter, and rework the problematic Africa section (or cut it), and it would be closer to a fun, four-star read. It would make a bankable difference between finishing this and wanting to try more of the author's works, both written and in screen. For now, I'll pass on further King.
Thanks to fellow henches: Nataliya, Stephen and jade
February 20, 2021
So, to borrow a phrase from one of my favorite bookish friends carol., I went a little hench-curious after a recent Hench buddy read and craved more henchdom adventures. This seemed like a natural choice — henchmen and book club. I mean, what can possibly go wrong?
Ahem, yeah. About that.
There’s a part of me that genuinely loved this book. I mean, the first rule of the henchmen book club is that you don’t talk about the henchmen book club, but hey — who wouldn’t want to discuss a few tomes in between henching for Bond-esque supervillains? Especially if your job description, in addition to being cannon fodder for Bond- and Rambo-esque heroes entails guarding vending machines in supervillains’ hideouts? You need something to spice it up, even if it ends up being The Time Traveler's Wife (despite the “no chick-lit” rule of this hyper-macho establishment).
Mark Jones works for the Agency, a secret powerful outfit that provides all those supervillains with all those minions they need. The pay is supposedly good, and they will get you out and patch you up when another supervillain plot goes bust, and the truth is — they made you an offer you couldn’t refuse — so the henchmen go on from one job to another, with a few of them having secretly bonded over their love for books.
It starts as a very episodic story, almost resembling a long-running serial of sorts, but eventually acquires a plot and some cohesiveness. It’s funny, it’s full of action, and on a superficial level quite succeeded in keeping me entertained.
But. But but but. But.
But there’s another part of me very much annoyed with the blatant dudebro humor here mixed with the lack of proper editing.
# Lack of editing. Both as in proofreading (dude, commas exist for a reason; I cannot believe nobody pointed out any disregard for the basic punctuation rules to the author*) and culling the unnecessary stuff (too much is crammed into every chapter, with every move overdescribed to the point where there’s no reason to use imagination — and resulting in book bloating).
# Immature dudebro humor. It leads to quite uncomfortable results. Things are put down a few times as being “gay”, humor is extracted by specifying that something was or seemed homoerotic, etc. Same with a few locker-room-talk-like instances of sexist humor. Had this been published in the 90s, I’d given it a pass. But for something published in 2011 it’s crossing the line into uncomfortable and dated faux-pas. This should have been culled by any editor and would have made this much less awkwardly cringeworthy.
——————
That said, the characters were done quite alright. Mark was overall entertaining, and the parodies of British and American special agents were spot-on, immediately bringing to mind all the silly movie tropes that gave rise to them. Hats off to Jack Tempest and Rip Dunbar portrayals, nicely done.
Altogether I’d give it 2.5 stars — but as GR (same as henchmen book club) does not allow half-stars, I have to round — and I’m rounding down, both for juvenile humor and the criminally missing commas.
——————
Buddy read with carol, Stephen and jade.
Ahem, yeah. About that.
There’s a part of me that genuinely loved this book. I mean, the first rule of the henchmen book club is that you don’t talk about the henchmen book club, but hey — who wouldn’t want to discuss a few tomes in between henching for Bond-esque supervillains? Especially if your job description, in addition to being cannon fodder for Bond- and Rambo-esque heroes entails guarding vending machines in supervillains’ hideouts? You need something to spice it up, even if it ends up being The Time Traveler's Wife (despite the “no chick-lit” rule of this hyper-macho establishment).
“Saluting people you didn’t need to salute is just one short step away from saluting flags. And the day I started doing that was the day I stopped trying to blow up large chunks of the world. Or at least, stopped guarding the corridors and vending machines of people who sought to do that sort of thing. Not for me. No sir. I had bills to pay.”
Mark Jones works for the Agency, a secret powerful outfit that provides all those supervillains with all those minions they need. The pay is supposedly good, and they will get you out and patch you up when another supervillain plot goes bust, and the truth is — they made you an offer you couldn’t refuse — so the henchmen go on from one job to another, with a few of them having secretly bonded over their love for books.
“Our books were like windows out onto the world. Of course, they had been before we’d started book club, when they’d been read individually, but when you read books as a group, the worlds and stories that are held within their pages come to life even more because they become part of a collective consciousness. The experiences become richer and that window out onto the world opens just a little wider.”
It starts as a very episodic story, almost resembling a long-running serial of sorts, but eventually acquires a plot and some cohesiveness. It’s funny, it’s full of action, and on a superficial level quite succeeded in keeping me entertained.
“Expendable. That’s how me, Mr Smith, Savimbi and Petrofsky were seen more often than not. Mere assets, to be rolled out and used like so much toilet paper. And when we’d done what we’d been asked to do, and our chiefs had the moon on a stick, our rewards were invariably the flushing of the chain.”
But. But but but. But.
But there’s another part of me very much annoyed with the blatant dudebro humor here mixed with the lack of proper editing.
# Lack of editing. Both as in proofreading (dude, commas exist for a reason; I cannot believe nobody pointed out any disregard for the basic punctuation rules to the author*) and culling the unnecessary stuff (too much is crammed into every chapter, with every move overdescribed to the point where there’s no reason to use imagination — and resulting in book bloating).
* Commas can save lives.
# Immature dudebro humor. It leads to quite uncomfortable results. Things are put down a few times as being “gay”, humor is extracted by specifying that something was or seemed homoerotic, etc. Same with a few locker-room-talk-like instances of sexist humor. Had this been published in the 90s, I’d given it a pass. But for something published in 2011 it’s crossing the line into uncomfortable and dated faux-pas. This should have been culled by any editor and would have made this much less awkwardly cringeworthy.
——————
That said, the characters were done quite alright. Mark was overall entertaining, and the parodies of British and American special agents were spot-on, immediately bringing to mind all the silly movie tropes that gave rise to them. Hats off to Jack Tempest and Rip Dunbar portrayals, nicely done.
“We don’t say goon any more,” I told him.
“No?”
“No. It’s like calling your cleaner your skivvy or your PA your lackey. It’s kind of derogatory.”
Altogether I’d give it 2.5 stars — but as GR (same as henchmen book club) does not allow half-stars, I have to round — and I’m rounding down, both for juvenile humor and the criminally missing commas.
——————
Buddy read with carol, Stephen and jade.
October 17, 2020
4 Stars
It’s not easy being a henchman these days. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, but one has to make a living right?
Admittedly, things started off a bit slow, but this story picks up the pace as all sorts of craziness ensue. Life as a paid mercenary can get one shot at, caught in many explosions, risk losing various body parts, not to mention government betrayals, infuriating secret agent adversaries, diabolical bad guys going diabolical, and ultimately, incarceration. You know, just to name a few potential challenges...
These men have it rough, but the bond they share through their love of reading on and off the job surprisingly, and ingeniously, becomes their one ace in the hole. Apparently, there’s a certain honor and due respect regarding these henchmen. They’re not really the bad guys. They just happen to work for them.
Cheeky fun, a bit horrifying and gruesome, there’s an abundance of over the top, holy shit shenanigans to this, peppered with a good sense of humor and a winking nod to just how insane working for adishonest dollar can be. Shockingly, this is the most fun I’ve had in a long while when not reading romance, and that’s saying a lot. Trust me - this was a rare nonMM wild ride!
It’s not easy being a henchman these days. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, but one has to make a living right?
Admittedly, things started off a bit slow, but this story picks up the pace as all sorts of craziness ensue. Life as a paid mercenary can get one shot at, caught in many explosions, risk losing various body parts, not to mention government betrayals, infuriating secret agent adversaries, diabolical bad guys going diabolical, and ultimately, incarceration. You know, just to name a few potential challenges...
These men have it rough, but the bond they share through their love of reading on and off the job surprisingly, and ingeniously, becomes their one ace in the hole. Apparently, there’s a certain honor and due respect regarding these henchmen. They’re not really the bad guys. They just happen to work for them.
Cheeky fun, a bit horrifying and gruesome, there’s an abundance of over the top, holy shit shenanigans to this, peppered with a good sense of humor and a winking nod to just how insane working for a
December 31, 2013
Look out!
The evil minions are gathered in a top secret hiding place. They're here to discuss...The Time Traveler's Wife?
That's right! The henchmen have a book club!
Suddenly, the sound of bombs and gunfire fill the night. When it's all over, you can bet there's hell to pay.
“What were you doing? Drinking or something?”
“No actually, we were reading,”
“Reading? Jesus! What were you reading?” he asked. “Anything good?”
Henchmen. Who are they really? As book club leader, Mark Jones explains, "...we're not the bad guys. We just occasionally work for them."
These are the men who work for the REALLY bad guys, supervillains who have secret hideouts deep inside volcanoes. They have names like Connaughtard Cottletrophff, Zillion Silverfish, Polonius Crump, and Condoleezza Vice. They are villains armed with enough gadgets to make James Bond pop a woody. And their plans are to take over the world using "artificial month-long sandstorms" or "Defrigerators" that will melt the polar ice caps overnight. As Jones tells it, "if the masses in the major metropolitan centres knew just how many plots, plans and schemes there were to blow them up, sink them, freeze them, bury, blind or bugger them on any given week, property prices would plunge through the mantle."
But what's a henchman to do with his down time? Why, join a book club, of course!
Among the ten rules of book club? "...you don't talk about book club. And no chick lit!"
You can tell a lot about your fellow agents by their participation in book club. We knew Captain Collett to be a reasonable man (he’d given Joseph O’Conner’s Star of the Sea a solid four out of five and you can’t be much more reasonable than that).
This was a wonderfully funny read, packed with action, thrills, laughs and books. (I even added a few to my "to read" list.)
Our books were like windows out onto the world. Of course they had been before we’d started book club, when they’d been read individually, but when you read books as a group, the worlds and stories that are held within their pages come to life even more because they become part of a collective consciousness. The experiences become richer and that window out onto the world opens just a little wider.
A great reminder that when the chips are down, nobody's got your back like your fellow readers.
The evil minions are gathered in a top secret hiding place. They're here to discuss...The Time Traveler's Wife?
That's right! The henchmen have a book club!
Suddenly, the sound of bombs and gunfire fill the night. When it's all over, you can bet there's hell to pay.
“What were you doing? Drinking or something?”
“No actually, we were reading,”
“Reading? Jesus! What were you reading?” he asked. “Anything good?”
Henchmen. Who are they really? As book club leader, Mark Jones explains, "...we're not the bad guys. We just occasionally work for them."
These are the men who work for the REALLY bad guys, supervillains who have secret hideouts deep inside volcanoes. They have names like Connaughtard Cottletrophff, Zillion Silverfish, Polonius Crump, and Condoleezza Vice. They are villains armed with enough gadgets to make James Bond pop a woody. And their plans are to take over the world using "artificial month-long sandstorms" or "Defrigerators" that will melt the polar ice caps overnight. As Jones tells it, "if the masses in the major metropolitan centres knew just how many plots, plans and schemes there were to blow them up, sink them, freeze them, bury, blind or bugger them on any given week, property prices would plunge through the mantle."
But what's a henchman to do with his down time? Why, join a book club, of course!
Among the ten rules of book club? "...you don't talk about book club. And no chick lit!"
You can tell a lot about your fellow agents by their participation in book club. We knew Captain Collett to be a reasonable man (he’d given Joseph O’Conner’s Star of the Sea a solid four out of five and you can’t be much more reasonable than that).
This was a wonderfully funny read, packed with action, thrills, laughs and books. (I even added a few to my "to read" list.)
Our books were like windows out onto the world. Of course they had been before we’d started book club, when they’d been read individually, but when you read books as a group, the worlds and stories that are held within their pages come to life even more because they become part of a collective consciousness. The experiences become richer and that window out onto the world opens just a little wider.
A great reminder that when the chips are down, nobody's got your back like your fellow readers.
October 30, 2013
May contain some small spoilers or, at the very least, some hints.
This novel was a very fun read -- I gave it 5 stars, even though the editing/proof reading (My usual number one complaint) was not stellar. What it lacked in editing finesse, it makes up for in ingenuity, humor, style and fun.
Danny King is British. The book cover proclaims that he is "One of Britain's best kept literary secrets." That is a sentiment with which I strongly agree. Where has this author been hiding all my reading life? He is obviously well-published. His list of "other" books has 14 entries, plus one television show ("Thieves Like Us" in 2007), the film "Wild Bill" in 2012 and two plays (one made from one of his novels). And he obviously likes writing from the perspective of the traditional bad guy. Here are a few of his titles: "The Burglar Diaries," "The Bank Robber Diaries," "The Hitman Diaries," "School for Scumbags," "Milo's Marauders," and "The Executioners." Sensing a theme here are we?
Nevertheless, King writes with verve and creativity, imbuing his characters, even when they are in the process of attempting some very gory, explosive and heinous acts, with the everyday emotions, ambitions and concerns we all share. His voice is so personal that you feel the character is sitting in your living room, regaling you with his many and varied adventures.
He fills his writing with humor, camaraderie, and amazing situations. Even while the characters are attempting the annihilation of entire groups, you find yourself smiling. His turn of phrase is priceless. Here are a few examples (and, sorry, I read this on my Kindle, so you get locations, not page numbers):
At location 2306 (40%), this:
"Oh well, what goes around comes around, as they say, and while it's well documented how Silverfish met his maker handcuffed to that Patriot missile, it's less well known how his lapdog choked on his own particular bone. Obviously, it had been at the hands of his own tie -- ironic deaths being harder to avoid in this game than the Child Support Agency. Jack Tempest had caught it with that hat stand Mr. Karlssen had bought for his Stetsons and twirled it around like a cheerleader's baton and thrown it straight back at him, scoring an unbelievable bull's-eye first time. It had been a hell of a shot."
At location 2344 (40%), this: "...as slender as a pack of Camels and peachy in all the best places..." and "She also wore a red figure-hugging leather one-piece suit that was so tight you could make out what she had for breakfast. Yesterday."
At location 2351 (40%), this when describing removing his specially engineered ocular prosthetic prior to an altercation: "I slid the patch back across my face, slipped my 'eye.Pod out' and dropped it into one of my shoes when I kicked them off the edge of the mat."
But what I enjoyed the most was his use of other book titles in the novel; not just as mentions for the book club he started, although that is the most common use. He includes the characters discussing some of the books, and in some places, uses book references to pass along information from one character to another. And not just book references. The main character, Mark Jones, having been corralled and questioned about his current (but non-existent) assignment by his nemesis, Jack Tempest, gives a description that includes names and equipment straight out of "The Ghostbusters" movie script. Here's a snippet:
"Then you know? You really do know?"
"Oh yes," he confirmed, then added, "Mark Jones," to show me he had one name at least.
"About Operation Gozer?"
"We have a man on the inside," he told me.
"Who is it? Venkmen? Spengler?" I said. Tempest just smiled. "Not Louis Tully?"
From there, the Ghostbusters fun continues for a few more paragraphs.
But mention book titles he does, and he does so often. He and his mercenary buddies compile quite the varied list of reading material, which include, to name a few:
The Day of the Triffads
Perfume (Patrick Suskind)
The Miracle of Castel di Sangro (Joe McGuinniss)
The Time Traveler's Wife
Papillon (Henri Charriere)
The Fourth Protocol
The Hound of the Baskervilles
It's Not About The Bike
A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian
The Client
and even
Who Killed Roger Rabbit (my note: I think the novel the movie was taken from was actually named " Who Censored Roger Rabbit," not killed).
His characterizations are wonderful. Jones's nemesis, Jack Tempest, an agent who takes on seemingly hopeless missions and somehow comes out on top, is described as arrogant and an asshole. Immediately I thought, "Oh. Tom Cruise." and that's how I saw him throughout the novel.
For me, the entire novel could be summed up in this quote shown at location 4210 (73%) during the book club discussion of Martin Amis's "Time's Arrow:"
"...I think the message behind the book was that there's no set truth; everything takes on a different interpretation when you look at it from a different perspective."
Okay, okay -- I know those of you who read my reviews are waiting for the inevitable other shoe to drop; for the what I didn't like to come bubbling to the top of the pot. But, I'm going to disappoint you. I already said the editing and proofing wasn't the greatest, but I was so willing to overlook that because I was being so thoroughly entertained.
But (there it is...) I did have one thing I wish the author could clarify. At location 4252 (74%), was this quote:
"Most prisoners didn't make it to see their thirtieth year in truth but according to the grapevine there were one or two in here that came out at night, that had long white beards and no idea Kennedy was dead.
Or even, that his son had become President."
So this left me wondering this: did King mean that the old timers had no idea that Joe Kennedy was dead and that JFK had become president? Or, was this written prior to the death of John Jr. and was King speculating that John Jr. might enter the political ring at some time in his future? I went to the front of the novel and to the rear, but I found no copyright info. So, of course I headed to the internet. On King's website (www.dannykingbooks.com) it states that this book was published (on kindle) in 2011. Certainly after the death of all three Kennedy men. There was also mention of the book rights being optioned in 2009, before the 2011 publication. So it was obviously written prior to 2009, which was the year of John Jr.'s death. I went back to the actual book, wondering if I could find a reference to a date -- but the only dates were dates regarding time frames when the books mentioned in book club had been written, published or when the stories themselves took place. Nothing about the timeline of this novel itself. So, the question goes unanswered, although I'm leaning heavily towards the second scenario.
Yes. I liked this book a lot. Yes, I may try one of his other books later this summer.
This novel was a very fun read -- I gave it 5 stars, even though the editing/proof reading (My usual number one complaint) was not stellar. What it lacked in editing finesse, it makes up for in ingenuity, humor, style and fun.
Danny King is British. The book cover proclaims that he is "One of Britain's best kept literary secrets." That is a sentiment with which I strongly agree. Where has this author been hiding all my reading life? He is obviously well-published. His list of "other" books has 14 entries, plus one television show ("Thieves Like Us" in 2007), the film "Wild Bill" in 2012 and two plays (one made from one of his novels). And he obviously likes writing from the perspective of the traditional bad guy. Here are a few of his titles: "The Burglar Diaries," "The Bank Robber Diaries," "The Hitman Diaries," "School for Scumbags," "Milo's Marauders," and "The Executioners." Sensing a theme here are we?
Nevertheless, King writes with verve and creativity, imbuing his characters, even when they are in the process of attempting some very gory, explosive and heinous acts, with the everyday emotions, ambitions and concerns we all share. His voice is so personal that you feel the character is sitting in your living room, regaling you with his many and varied adventures.
He fills his writing with humor, camaraderie, and amazing situations. Even while the characters are attempting the annihilation of entire groups, you find yourself smiling. His turn of phrase is priceless. Here are a few examples (and, sorry, I read this on my Kindle, so you get locations, not page numbers):
At location 2306 (40%), this:
"Oh well, what goes around comes around, as they say, and while it's well documented how Silverfish met his maker handcuffed to that Patriot missile, it's less well known how his lapdog choked on his own particular bone. Obviously, it had been at the hands of his own tie -- ironic deaths being harder to avoid in this game than the Child Support Agency. Jack Tempest had caught it with that hat stand Mr. Karlssen had bought for his Stetsons and twirled it around like a cheerleader's baton and thrown it straight back at him, scoring an unbelievable bull's-eye first time. It had been a hell of a shot."
At location 2344 (40%), this: "...as slender as a pack of Camels and peachy in all the best places..." and "She also wore a red figure-hugging leather one-piece suit that was so tight you could make out what she had for breakfast. Yesterday."
At location 2351 (40%), this when describing removing his specially engineered ocular prosthetic prior to an altercation: "I slid the patch back across my face, slipped my 'eye.Pod out' and dropped it into one of my shoes when I kicked them off the edge of the mat."
But what I enjoyed the most was his use of other book titles in the novel; not just as mentions for the book club he started, although that is the most common use. He includes the characters discussing some of the books, and in some places, uses book references to pass along information from one character to another. And not just book references. The main character, Mark Jones, having been corralled and questioned about his current (but non-existent) assignment by his nemesis, Jack Tempest, gives a description that includes names and equipment straight out of "The Ghostbusters" movie script. Here's a snippet:
"Then you know? You really do know?"
"Oh yes," he confirmed, then added, "Mark Jones," to show me he had one name at least.
"About Operation Gozer?"
"We have a man on the inside," he told me.
"Who is it? Venkmen? Spengler?" I said. Tempest just smiled. "Not Louis Tully?"
From there, the Ghostbusters fun continues for a few more paragraphs.
But mention book titles he does, and he does so often. He and his mercenary buddies compile quite the varied list of reading material, which include, to name a few:
The Day of the Triffads
Perfume (Patrick Suskind)
The Miracle of Castel di Sangro (Joe McGuinniss)
The Time Traveler's Wife
Papillon (Henri Charriere)
The Fourth Protocol
The Hound of the Baskervilles
It's Not About The Bike
A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian
The Client
and even
Who Killed Roger Rabbit (my note: I think the novel the movie was taken from was actually named " Who Censored Roger Rabbit," not killed).
His characterizations are wonderful. Jones's nemesis, Jack Tempest, an agent who takes on seemingly hopeless missions and somehow comes out on top, is described as arrogant and an asshole. Immediately I thought, "Oh. Tom Cruise." and that's how I saw him throughout the novel.
For me, the entire novel could be summed up in this quote shown at location 4210 (73%) during the book club discussion of Martin Amis's "Time's Arrow:"
"...I think the message behind the book was that there's no set truth; everything takes on a different interpretation when you look at it from a different perspective."
Okay, okay -- I know those of you who read my reviews are waiting for the inevitable other shoe to drop; for the what I didn't like to come bubbling to the top of the pot. But, I'm going to disappoint you. I already said the editing and proofing wasn't the greatest, but I was so willing to overlook that because I was being so thoroughly entertained.
But (there it is...) I did have one thing I wish the author could clarify. At location 4252 (74%), was this quote:
"Most prisoners didn't make it to see their thirtieth year in truth but according to the grapevine there were one or two in here that came out at night, that had long white beards and no idea Kennedy was dead.
Or even, that his son had become President."
So this left me wondering this: did King mean that the old timers had no idea that Joe Kennedy was dead and that JFK had become president? Or, was this written prior to the death of John Jr. and was King speculating that John Jr. might enter the political ring at some time in his future? I went to the front of the novel and to the rear, but I found no copyright info. So, of course I headed to the internet. On King's website (www.dannykingbooks.com) it states that this book was published (on kindle) in 2011. Certainly after the death of all three Kennedy men. There was also mention of the book rights being optioned in 2009, before the 2011 publication. So it was obviously written prior to 2009, which was the year of John Jr.'s death. I went back to the actual book, wondering if I could find a reference to a date -- but the only dates were dates regarding time frames when the books mentioned in book club had been written, published or when the stories themselves took place. Nothing about the timeline of this novel itself. So, the question goes unanswered, although I'm leaning heavily towards the second scenario.
Yes. I liked this book a lot. Yes, I may try one of his other books later this summer.
April 25, 2021
what could've been a cute "henchmen start a book club" adventure quickly became a narrative slog dipped in bro culture. it's a no from me.
RTC!
✎ 2.0 stars.
RTC!
✎ 2.0 stars.
August 15, 2013
This one is proving a bit difficult for me to review. The book starts out with a very meaty hook, capturing my attention right out of the gate. The pacing overall wasn't too bad, with the action nicely spaced throughout.
Characters come and go with surprising frequency, leaving me several times uncertain or unable to remember if this was a particular characters first appearance or not. As a side note, there isn't even a token main female character anywhere in the entire book. In fact, there is only ONE place in the entire novel where a girl shows up at all, and she features for all of about three pages.
Mark travels around the globe over the course of the book, with each 'henching' section reading like a short novella. At first it doesn't seem like there is an overall plot arc, but each part melds together into a whole at the end.
Each of Mark's henching jobs is ruined by the appearance of one of two super-spies. Jack Tempest - British spy extra-ordinary James Bond clone or Rip Dunbar - a foul mouthed American agent (I don't read/watch spy movies so I'm not sure who he might be modeled after).
Mark's interactions with the two spies are the highlights of the book. I really wanted to see more of these. Jack Tempest in particular.
This book I think suffers the most for lack of a villain. Mark's character is a bit... directionless. He floats around where life takes him, and he isn't struggling towards any kind of goal until the end. And even that goal was short term. I would have liked to see more play and interaction between Mark, Tempest, and Rip.
I honestly think this novel would have worked better as a serial, with each henching job a section - with the climax at the end being the appearance of the rival spy.
The reveal at the end wasn't enough to seal the deal, and my attention wandered near the end, as I wondered if the book was actually going anywhere. It wasn't until the very end that you discover what everything was leading up to.
Characters come and go with surprising frequency, leaving me several times uncertain or unable to remember if this was a particular characters first appearance or not. As a side note, there isn't even a token main female character anywhere in the entire book. In fact, there is only ONE place in the entire novel where a girl shows up at all, and she features for all of about three pages.
Mark travels around the globe over the course of the book, with each 'henching' section reading like a short novella. At first it doesn't seem like there is an overall plot arc, but each part melds together into a whole at the end.
Each of Mark's henching jobs is ruined by the appearance of one of two super-spies. Jack Tempest - British spy extra-ordinary James Bond clone or Rip Dunbar - a foul mouthed American agent (I don't read/watch spy movies so I'm not sure who he might be modeled after).
Mark's interactions with the two spies are the highlights of the book. I really wanted to see more of these. Jack Tempest in particular.
This book I think suffers the most for lack of a villain. Mark's character is a bit... directionless. He floats around where life takes him, and he isn't struggling towards any kind of goal until the end. And even that goal was short term. I would have liked to see more play and interaction between Mark, Tempest, and Rip.
I honestly think this novel would have worked better as a serial, with each henching job a section - with the climax at the end being the appearance of the rival spy.
The reveal at the end wasn't enough to seal the deal, and my attention wandered near the end, as I wondered if the book was actually going anywhere. It wasn't until the very end that you discover what everything was leading up to.
January 6, 2023
Jan 2023
Re-read. Down to 3 stars. I think what first drew me to this one was the novelty of henchmen having a book club and being serious about it. I did enjoy the book club parts. The rest was military/combat jargon, which this time around bored me. I did like the spy eye and the website.
Jan 2020
I have no idea why this was one of my Amazon recommendations, but I gave it a go and it was good. Different and made a change from the usual. A henchman trying his best to survive his employers and the good guys. Choices, schemes and some strange moments. 4 stars.
Re-read. Down to 3 stars. I think what first drew me to this one was the novelty of henchmen having a book club and being serious about it. I did enjoy the book club parts. The rest was military/combat jargon, which this time around bored me. I did like the spy eye and the website.
Jan 2020
I have no idea why this was one of my Amazon recommendations, but I gave it a go and it was good. Different and made a change from the usual. A henchman trying his best to survive his employers and the good guys. Choices, schemes and some strange moments. 4 stars.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 11, 2013
(review shortened from my blog for brevity)
I'm usually not for action and adventure, but there was something about the premise of stereotypically burly, scary killers having such a gentle and intelligent hobby that they like to do in their free time. I'm glad I picked up and read the book, because it was a fantastic read. There were many, many parts in the book where I couldn't help laughing, which was an issue since I read next to my sleeping toddler. Oh, those were the moments I had to put the book away…
Anyway, minor spoilers ahead!
Overview: The book is told through first person in Mark Jones's point of view, and we follow him over the years as his little reading hobby turns into a powerful force. This book doesn't highlight one event; we get to follow him along as he works for evil villains, gets thwarted by heroic spies, faces injuries and capture, trains future Affiliates (as part of the organization where evil villains hire their henchmen), and of course, as he reads and analyzes books. This anti-hero goes from being the guy you barely notice to the guy you're rooting for.
The actual timeline is starting with the birth of the book club (the meeting of two key characters: Mark and Mr. Smith) and the evident display of power of the book club. One of the things that made the later part of the book enjoyable was that characters introduced earlier weren't completely forgotten and would be brought back.
As I said, there were times where I was outright laughing. Much of the humor is dark and twisted, yet it still works. I enjoyed that many of the characters were evil and were unapologetic for that. It's just who they were. Mark is so likable despite what he does. As he says, it's just a job, nothing personal; he needs to pay his mortgage.
I'm pretty sure I missed out on some funny stuff since I'm American and only partly familiar with some British terms (if you don't know British terminology, it's still a great book)! My version of the ebook had many typos, and the author addresses this in a note at the end. The typos didn't bother me too much since I was already having issues with cross-the-pond word confusion anyway.
At the start, there were some parts where my eyes glazed over and my mind started drifting before there would be a part that brought me back. There also were a few strange transitions/time jumps from one major job/event/situation to the next that could have used a heading or so, but I quickly caught on.
This book should be a definite read if you like action and adventure, dark humor, and anti-heroes. Even if you don't, you'll find it a refreshing change (I did) with a unique premise.
Gore level: 4 out of 5 (people get mangled and killed)
I'm usually not for action and adventure, but there was something about the premise of stereotypically burly, scary killers having such a gentle and intelligent hobby that they like to do in their free time. I'm glad I picked up and read the book, because it was a fantastic read. There were many, many parts in the book where I couldn't help laughing, which was an issue since I read next to my sleeping toddler. Oh, those were the moments I had to put the book away…
Anyway, minor spoilers ahead!
Overview: The book is told through first person in Mark Jones's point of view, and we follow him over the years as his little reading hobby turns into a powerful force. This book doesn't highlight one event; we get to follow him along as he works for evil villains, gets thwarted by heroic spies, faces injuries and capture, trains future Affiliates (as part of the organization where evil villains hire their henchmen), and of course, as he reads and analyzes books. This anti-hero goes from being the guy you barely notice to the guy you're rooting for.
The actual timeline is starting with the birth of the book club (the meeting of two key characters: Mark and Mr. Smith) and the evident display of power of the book club. One of the things that made the later part of the book enjoyable was that characters introduced earlier weren't completely forgotten and would be brought back.
As I said, there were times where I was outright laughing. Much of the humor is dark and twisted, yet it still works. I enjoyed that many of the characters were evil and were unapologetic for that. It's just who they were. Mark is so likable despite what he does. As he says, it's just a job, nothing personal; he needs to pay his mortgage.
I'm pretty sure I missed out on some funny stuff since I'm American and only partly familiar with some British terms (if you don't know British terminology, it's still a great book)! My version of the ebook had many typos, and the author addresses this in a note at the end. The typos didn't bother me too much since I was already having issues with cross-the-pond word confusion anyway.
At the start, there were some parts where my eyes glazed over and my mind started drifting before there would be a part that brought me back. There also were a few strange transitions/time jumps from one major job/event/situation to the next that could have used a heading or so, but I quickly caught on.
This book should be a definite read if you like action and adventure, dark humor, and anti-heroes. Even if you don't, you'll find it a refreshing change (I did) with a unique premise.
Gore level: 4 out of 5 (people get mangled and killed)
May 3, 2015
Ok, that was some funny shit right there. This was the first Danny King book I'd ever read, but I'm 100% sure it won't be the last. I think I laughed the whole way through. It even improved my mood after having a spat with my other half. It takes a lot to do that, but The Henchmen's Book Club was up to the task.
Mark Jones is an Affiliate, a henchman for hire, and a good one at that. He's managed to survive far longer than many in an undeniably deadly job. It seems every Goldfinger wannabe has a few piranha tanks or hungry alligators about. He's also a man after my own heart, a dedicated bibliophile. He likes to read and, surprisingly, finds a number of other henchmen do too. Thus is born The Book Club. They read good books. I had to look more than one of the titles up in order to get the reference. I did occasionally wonder where all the books came from, but really didn't find that a point worth too much worry.
The American and British special agents are pure amusement. Though I am just a tad ashamed to come from the same homeland as Rip Dunbar. What a tool! I love that their personalities are so very different, but still falling within the same character archetype.
I highly recommend picking this one up. There are a few missing words here and there. King even acknowledges that in the afterward. I didn't find it particularly distracting though. Definitely not enough to change my opinion of the book.
Mark Jones is an Affiliate, a henchman for hire, and a good one at that. He's managed to survive far longer than many in an undeniably deadly job. It seems every Goldfinger wannabe has a few piranha tanks or hungry alligators about. He's also a man after my own heart, a dedicated bibliophile. He likes to read and, surprisingly, finds a number of other henchmen do too. Thus is born The Book Club. They read good books. I had to look more than one of the titles up in order to get the reference. I did occasionally wonder where all the books came from, but really didn't find that a point worth too much worry.
The American and British special agents are pure amusement. Though I am just a tad ashamed to come from the same homeland as Rip Dunbar. What a tool! I love that their personalities are so very different, but still falling within the same character archetype.
I highly recommend picking this one up. There are a few missing words here and there. King even acknowledges that in the afterward. I didn't find it particularly distracting though. Definitely not enough to change my opinion of the book.
June 20, 2013
This was a humorous book that didn't litter every page with forced jokes. The super spies the main character runs into were very entertaining. The background of the story was well thought out and very detailed (especially in terms of the how the Agency operates). It was exactly what one would expect in a world of bumbling secret agents and supervillians.
The main negative for me was the length of the book. While the story never gets particularly slow, it does go on forever. I kept checking the progress bar on my kindle and was frustrated to find that after an hour of reading, I had only progressed maybe 3%. Personally, I think some of the details of every mission could be cut, but I imagine other readers would enjoy the action sequences.
The main negative for me was the length of the book. While the story never gets particularly slow, it does go on forever. I kept checking the progress bar on my kindle and was frustrated to find that after an hour of reading, I had only progressed maybe 3%. Personally, I think some of the details of every mission could be cut, but I imagine other readers would enjoy the action sequences.
August 24, 2013
One of the most fun books I've read in years. It is an absolute joy to read.
September 28, 2020
Mark Jones is a gun for hire employed by The Agency. He loves the adventures and he loves to read. At each job, he somehow persuades several of his fellow Affiliates to form a book club and his small group of readers becomes a massive secret operation within the world's largest corporation of professional cut-throats! Setting aside the violence and mayhem, this book is delightfully funny and engrossing. A celebration of the power of books and reading, the joys of collective reading and the true camaraderie that comes from it, and the idea of reading as the ultimate act of rebellion. All elements that bring joy to book lovers everywhere!
March 27, 2015
Meet Mark Jones (not his real name); aka Mr. Jones, henchman for hire to the latest megalomaniac. Whilst the world's super villains are setting out to melt the North Pole/tilt the world on its axis/steal the Eiffel Tower, Mr. Jones is just the ordinary bloke guarding the vending machine in the corridor of the underground base. With "a mortgage he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy", Mr. Jones is constantly in search of the next big payday - if only those James Bond-style super-spies would stop scuppering his plans, murdering his bosses and preventing him paying back the massive loan he's had off his in-laws. Thank God he, and his comrades in misfortune have got book club to pass the time and keep them all going.
As you can probably tell from the above, this novel takes the tropes and stock-in-trade devices of your average James Bond style story and twists it around, turns it on its head and relates the story from the point of view of your ordinary "henchman". The result is utter brilliance. Deftly narrated by the wonderful Mr. Jones, full of witticism and humour, the story of Mr. Jones, Mr Chang, Mr Woo, Mr Collins and all the other henchmen in book club is completely engrossing. The story skipped along (I read half of it in one sitting) and not only that but, along with the other "book club members", I found some great recommendations in the text as to what to read next.
This is a book for everyone - the literary minded, as well as those who love a good mindless action story. And here's something else I spotted about this text: consider this excerpt from when Mr. Jones is assaulting a diamond mine in the Zambezi basin: ""Oh," I replied, relieved that I didn't have to keep on referring to this snivelling little kid as His Most Excellent Majesty any more, though it had helped with the word count over the last couple of chapters." (Loc 1676) - according to Russian formalist Viktor Shklovsky (one of my favourite critical theorists), true art "bares the device" and shows that it is art - which is just what the author does in this passage. - so, there you go - not only is this a rollicking good story, it's also a work of literary merit.
This is a fantastic, original story - you, Mr. King, are a genius.
As you can probably tell from the above, this novel takes the tropes and stock-in-trade devices of your average James Bond style story and twists it around, turns it on its head and relates the story from the point of view of your ordinary "henchman". The result is utter brilliance. Deftly narrated by the wonderful Mr. Jones, full of witticism and humour, the story of Mr. Jones, Mr Chang, Mr Woo, Mr Collins and all the other henchmen in book club is completely engrossing. The story skipped along (I read half of it in one sitting) and not only that but, along with the other "book club members", I found some great recommendations in the text as to what to read next.
This is a book for everyone - the literary minded, as well as those who love a good mindless action story. And here's something else I spotted about this text: consider this excerpt from when Mr. Jones is assaulting a diamond mine in the Zambezi basin: ""Oh," I replied, relieved that I didn't have to keep on referring to this snivelling little kid as His Most Excellent Majesty any more, though it had helped with the word count over the last couple of chapters." (Loc 1676) - according to Russian formalist Viktor Shklovsky (one of my favourite critical theorists), true art "bares the device" and shows that it is art - which is just what the author does in this passage. - so, there you go - not only is this a rollicking good story, it's also a work of literary merit.
This is a fantastic, original story - you, Mr. King, are a genius.
April 15, 2015
I thoroughly enjoyed this story. It brought an element of toughness and softness at the same time, in a way that worked.
I enjoyed the adventure, near deaths escapes (no matter how improbable), the cliches' (Tempest is James Bond-esque and Rip Dunbar is Steven Seagal-ish), the blurred lines of good and evil, and the fact that Mark Jones is portrayed as a tough guy but not a dumb guy, and he isn't made out to have the readers fall in love with him (especially his looks).
I just had fun reading this book, and would recommend it to anyone wanting something a little different. Granted there are some grammatical errors throughout the book, but it was free, who am I to complain if I can still understand what is being said.
As of January 2015, I am increasing my rating to 5 stars as I cannot quit thinking how awesome and original this book was.
I enjoyed the adventure, near deaths escapes (no matter how improbable), the cliches' (Tempest is James Bond-esque and Rip Dunbar is Steven Seagal-ish), the blurred lines of good and evil, and the fact that Mark Jones is portrayed as a tough guy but not a dumb guy, and he isn't made out to have the readers fall in love with him (especially his looks).
I just had fun reading this book, and would recommend it to anyone wanting something a little different. Granted there are some grammatical errors throughout the book, but it was free, who am I to complain if I can still understand what is being said.
As of January 2015, I am increasing my rating to 5 stars as I cannot quit thinking how awesome and original this book was.
May 31, 2013
The Henchmen's Book Club is a light, comic novel set in the world of James Bondian secret agents and super-villains ... and the menials the villains employ. There are meglomaniacal bad guys and pun-dripping good guys, with our protaganist, Mark Jones, somewhere inbetween. Mr. Jones starts a book club with his fellow henchmen (guys with names like Mr. Smith, Mr. Woo, Mr. Rousseau, and so forth) and somewhere along the way finds some friends.
It was a fast read and entertaining, but the editing mistakes bogged me down, especially in the later chapters. There's a note at the end from the author that makes it clear he's self-publishing without the benefit of an editing team, and it shows. I was tempted to give the book 3.5 stars for that, but like in Mr. Jones' own club, Goodreads doesn't do half stars. So like Mr. Jones, I rounded up.
Fun but not essential.
It was a fast read and entertaining, but the editing mistakes bogged me down, especially in the later chapters. There's a note at the end from the author that makes it clear he's self-publishing without the benefit of an editing team, and it shows. I was tempted to give the book 3.5 stars for that, but like in Mr. Jones' own club, Goodreads doesn't do half stars. So like Mr. Jones, I rounded up.
Fun but not essential.
January 13, 2019
I wish there were half-stars, as I would have given it a 3 1/2, because I really liked the premise of the book --- henchmen sitting around, reading books during the slow, boring bits of their job, and later reviewing them. There was some excess profanity in the book, which detracted from the story, in my opinion, but, I didn't mark it down because of that. My main problem with it was there were a couple of sections where the author used terms that were racially insensitive and derogatory, that I found offensive. If these terms had been removed, I would have given the book a solid 4, and might have possibly given it a 5. Otherwise, this was a very funny, entertaining read. If you enjoy international spy spoofs, in the Austin Powers vein, and, don't mind a little profanity, and, can overlook discriminatory terms, then this is the book for you!
May 16, 2012
I am a big fan of Danny King, and all my previous reads have garnered 4 or 5 star ratings. This is my first 3 star. I still enjoyed the book, but it was a bit of a departure for Mr. King into (tongue-in-cheek) Bond territory, with super-villains and over the top action and pyrotechnics. It still has his trademark down-to-earth humour and protagonist, but it was a little too fantastical for my tastes.
What also marred this particular read for me (I bought the Kindle edition via Amazon) was the high number of typographical errors. I can forgive the odd one here and there, but this copy had too many, sometimes two or three on a page. When I hit a typo, it brings me straight out of the book - not a good thing for reader or author.
Fun, but not up to Danny King's usual (high) standard.
What also marred this particular read for me (I bought the Kindle edition via Amazon) was the high number of typographical errors. I can forgive the odd one here and there, but this copy had too many, sometimes two or three on a page. When I hit a typo, it brings me straight out of the book - not a good thing for reader or author.
Fun, but not up to Danny King's usual (high) standard.
July 12, 2013
I really enjoyed this book.I'm not sure what I was expecting when I picked it up, but I definitely wasn't expecting a book that was going to make me laugh out load as often as I did. I'm usually not a fan of books written in the first person, but after the first few pages I was so drawn in that I didn't care. The only complain that I have about the book (and the reason that I didn't give it 5 stars) was because there was a lot of missing punctuation in the electronic version I purchased from Amazon. It wasn't bad enough that it took me out of the book, but there were more than a few times where I had to stop and reread a sentence again.
I'll definitely be picking up more Danny King books.
I'll definitely be picking up more Danny King books.
July 25, 2013
4.5
This novel was new, original, and thus quite refreshing. That dry, biting British humor was well at play here, and helped make the novel what it is: awesome.
The Henchmen's Book Club gives the reader a 'behind the scenes' look at the men who 'work' for the villains of the world. It gives us the thoughts and whys about why henchmen (never goons!) do what they do, how they don't always if ever agree with the job they are assigned to, and what they do with their free time.
This book does contain a lot of inappropriate language that I had to gloss over. It also takes quite some time to get to the Big Conflict of the story, but the ride to get there is plenty enjoyable!
This novel was new, original, and thus quite refreshing. That dry, biting British humor was well at play here, and helped make the novel what it is: awesome.
The Henchmen's Book Club gives the reader a 'behind the scenes' look at the men who 'work' for the villains of the world. It gives us the thoughts and whys about why henchmen (never goons!) do what they do, how they don't always if ever agree with the job they are assigned to, and what they do with their free time.
This book does contain a lot of inappropriate language that I had to gloss over. It also takes quite some time to get to the Big Conflict of the story, but the ride to get there is plenty enjoyable!
June 9, 2013
Interesting storyline about a mercenary. But that isn't really the story. And this isn't my usual read. I tried 2 or 3 times to just put it down and forget it(the prose is not that compelling). The story line had me hooked, and after the first twist, I was intrigued enough that I couldn't walk away.
August 3, 2013
The concept was really interesting and I enjoyed the story, but it was largely let down by the fact that it read like an early draft. Needs a really good edit and proofread, not only are there spelling mistakes, but a heap of grammatical errors, and whole paragraphs I would have completely rewritten to flow better.
The author needs to learn the art of 'show, don't tell'.
The author needs to learn the art of 'show, don't tell'.
April 20, 2014
Of you've ever wondered where the likes of Dr Julius No, Mr Big & Hugo Drax get their henchmen from you're about to find out. And, watch out, their bookclub is deadly.
A hilarious pastiche on Moore-era Bond.
A hilarious pastiche on Moore-era Bond.
January 7, 2015
It was funny in parts, but it became predictable and a little monotonous at times. If the author had tightened up some of the narration and made it about quarter shorter then it would have likely worked better.
March 12, 2019
Plot:
The Henchmen's Book Club is a satire about the world of James Bond and 80s action hero genres. We are introduced to the life of your common minion and the crap that they have to deal with. Training, dealing with the crazed bosses, and the inevitable hero ruining a cushy job.
In a world of psychopaths, sex craved heroes, war lords, and people who use clothing as deadly weapons it is important to remember about the little guys who have to guard the vending machine.
Characters:
Mark Jones is the main character of the story. His is trained, educated, and his job involves protecting James Bond villains and their sugary snacks. We are introduced to secret underground training facilities, secret government detention centres, volcano lairs, and the suburbs through his eyes. At the end of the day he is just a normal guy working for and against abnormal people.
Hero 1: This isn't his real name but I am working off memory. This is your classic British spy archetype. A ladies man, secret gadgets, kung foo grip. This is everything that we love and hate about James Bond character and lot of readers will end up shaking their head at him as well.
Hero 2. Again I don't remember the name, but I am sure that if he does have a name it will cause many of you to roll your eyes so fast that you might surgery. This is the Commando archetype. The type of man that you wouldn't recognise if he didn't hold a giant gun in his hands. Imagine the Movie the Expendables and you rolled all of that up into a American hot dog and this is what you would get.
What I liked:
I find the book incredibly enjoyable and there were moments that made me laugh out loud. The characters are meant to be stereotypes. If you liked Despicable Me than this is the next stage up.
What I don't like:
It does feel like a one time read for me. I also dislike that this book isn't on audible while the Burglar Diaries are. I like this one much better.
The Henchmen's Book Club is a satire about the world of James Bond and 80s action hero genres. We are introduced to the life of your common minion and the crap that they have to deal with. Training, dealing with the crazed bosses, and the inevitable hero ruining a cushy job.
In a world of psychopaths, sex craved heroes, war lords, and people who use clothing as deadly weapons it is important to remember about the little guys who have to guard the vending machine.
Characters:
Mark Jones is the main character of the story. His is trained, educated, and his job involves protecting James Bond villains and their sugary snacks. We are introduced to secret underground training facilities, secret government detention centres, volcano lairs, and the suburbs through his eyes. At the end of the day he is just a normal guy working for and against abnormal people.
Hero 1: This isn't his real name but I am working off memory. This is your classic British spy archetype. A ladies man, secret gadgets, kung foo grip. This is everything that we love and hate about James Bond character and lot of readers will end up shaking their head at him as well.
Hero 2. Again I don't remember the name, but I am sure that if he does have a name it will cause many of you to roll your eyes so fast that you might surgery. This is the Commando archetype. The type of man that you wouldn't recognise if he didn't hold a giant gun in his hands. Imagine the Movie the Expendables and you rolled all of that up into a American hot dog and this is what you would get.
What I liked:
I find the book incredibly enjoyable and there were moments that made me laugh out loud. The characters are meant to be stereotypes. If you liked Despicable Me than this is the next stage up.
What I don't like:
It does feel like a one time read for me. I also dislike that this book isn't on audible while the Burglar Diaries are. I like this one much better.
August 15, 2025
Mark is a henchman who has served the Agency for several years, surviving numerous bosses’ demises at the hands of talented superspies. The overwhelming majority of the time, he and his fellow minions are sitting bored, waiting for something to happen. Mark, being a reader, has an idea: why not start a book club? Such is the premise of The Henchman’s Book Club, a loosely organized novel that sees Mark and other mooks surviving a series of misadventures while occasionally mentioning books. Were it not for the ending, I’d say the books have a fairly marginal role. This is largely a comedy-action book, with fun writing and exaggerated characters. There’s an obvious James Bond expy — the man who keeps ruining Mark’s various bosses’ plans — as well as a foul-mouthed American equivalent. The latter is so violent and obscene another character asks him if he doesn’t have Tourettes. As a parody of action-crime films, its fun enough: I enjoyed the writing far more than the actual plot. There’s an edgy playfulness that sometimes dips into crassness, though, especially in the treatment of women who are femme fatales or eye candy. I’m fairly sure that’s meant to mock the macho posturing of spies and supervillains—especially considering that in Cancelled, most of the characters were women and presented without objectification (the main character’s girlfriend being a partial exception). If you enjoyed spoofs like OSS-117, you may enjoy this.
September 17, 2022
Well that was disappointing.
I think there was some attempt at satire regarding 007 and Rambo(?) style movies but it was hard to tell if it was really satire or just problematic writing with way too many “that’s so gay” type jokes and questionable descriptions of women who were all shrews or evil. There’s also the African chapter that was eye rolling bad and probably should have been scrapped as well as descriptions of a Japanese pilot and his flight attendants as “orientals” both of which made me wonder if this was taking place in the 50’s (it’s not).
Two stars instead of one because it had some interesting parts and the last quarter of the book was a step up. If the entire book had been at that level and it nailed the satire better without the cringe it would have gotten three stars.
I think there was some attempt at satire regarding 007 and Rambo(?) style movies but it was hard to tell if it was really satire or just problematic writing with way too many “that’s so gay” type jokes and questionable descriptions of women who were all shrews or evil. There’s also the African chapter that was eye rolling bad and probably should have been scrapped as well as descriptions of a Japanese pilot and his flight attendants as “orientals” both of which made me wonder if this was taking place in the 50’s (it’s not).
Two stars instead of one because it had some interesting parts and the last quarter of the book was a step up. If the entire book had been at that level and it nailed the satire better without the cringe it would have gotten three stars.
July 10, 2024
What an action packed, highly explosive laugh out loud read! I enjoyed every page.
I admit I’m not all familiar with weaponry and explosives but , well, it came with adrenaline charged, dangerous missions ?? So , who am I to resist??
Plus, in between these missions? They are “book talking”!! I mean, seriously! Just imagine. Before picking up their machine guns and whatnots, they’re reading “The time traveller’s wife”??? How incredibly , impossibly out of this world is that???
Yes, everything was far fetched as the MMC looked like he has nine lives or something?? I mean, he died, he was revived, he almost died then again, revived! Did I roll my eyes? A few times! But I can’t seem to put the book away. Yes, that good!
I highly recommend this book if you are experiencing book slump or you’re down and sad . Believe me, you will lose that frown… and say goodbye to book slump!
I admit I’m not all familiar with weaponry and explosives but , well, it came with adrenaline charged, dangerous missions ?? So , who am I to resist??
Plus, in between these missions? They are “book talking”!! I mean, seriously! Just imagine. Before picking up their machine guns and whatnots, they’re reading “The time traveller’s wife”??? How incredibly , impossibly out of this world is that???
Yes, everything was far fetched as the MMC looked like he has nine lives or something?? I mean, he died, he was revived, he almost died then again, revived! Did I roll my eyes? A few times! But I can’t seem to put the book away. Yes, that good!
I highly recommend this book if you are experiencing book slump or you’re down and sad . Believe me, you will lose that frown… and say goodbye to book slump!
July 23, 2017
Some questions answered
Where do all the Bond villains and other would-be world dominators get their seemingly inexhaustable supply of henchmen? There's an Agency that supplies them. And what do those henchmen do on their off hours when not guarding their current employer's weather or earthquake or tsunami machine? They read books and discuss them among themselves. This is the story of one such henchman-for-hire and his pastime of reading and discussing books with his compatriots through several different employers seeking to ovethrow this or that government and trying to survive in an occupation with run ups against suave secret agents and not so subtle "good" guys. A rollicking good read.
Where do all the Bond villains and other would-be world dominators get their seemingly inexhaustable supply of henchmen? There's an Agency that supplies them. And what do those henchmen do on their off hours when not guarding their current employer's weather or earthquake or tsunami machine? They read books and discuss them among themselves. This is the story of one such henchman-for-hire and his pastime of reading and discussing books with his compatriots through several different employers seeking to ovethrow this or that government and trying to survive in an occupation with run ups against suave secret agents and not so subtle "good" guys. A rollicking good read.
May 31, 2018
Highly entertaining
Henchman to evil power mad geniuses get a little bored when they have to stand round watching empty corridors or vending machines and what is there to do when you're off duty on a base under a volcano. Mr Jones starts a book club, they vote on what books to read, critique and mark them out of five. As Mr Jones's adventures continue, being a henchman means being on the losing side and he never seems to get on top of his debts, a henchman's lot is not a happy one.
How they use the book club to first pass messages, then after being incarcerated by the American government to play the hero is told in this very good book by Danny King, action adventure, humour, spies, women with killer heels what else could you want.
(4 out of 5)
Henchman to evil power mad geniuses get a little bored when they have to stand round watching empty corridors or vending machines and what is there to do when you're off duty on a base under a volcano. Mr Jones starts a book club, they vote on what books to read, critique and mark them out of five. As Mr Jones's adventures continue, being a henchman means being on the losing side and he never seems to get on top of his debts, a henchman's lot is not a happy one.
How they use the book club to first pass messages, then after being incarcerated by the American government to play the hero is told in this very good book by Danny King, action adventure, humour, spies, women with killer heels what else could you want.
(4 out of 5)
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