Fabulous Hell: A Novel by Craig Curtis

by Craig Curtis

An Excerpt"You might as well live."-Dorothy ParkerAUGUST 1, 1991The positive test result is given to me by a volunteer in the county clinic in Santa Rosa, California. I am also given a selection of handouts, including information on safe sex, support groups, and proper diet. I am told to limit my alcohol consumption to two ounces per week. I am urged to seek counseling. I am invited to stay and speak with a social worker.I decline.Numbly I exit through a rear door. I cannot face the people in the waiting room.They know.Upon being informed of the news, Mom insists on traveling from Huntington Beach every other week for two months. I do not want her. She has minimal maternal instincts. I do not trust her.Mom has hastily prepared a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care, which I sign, and seen to it that I am written out of my grandparents' will in order to protect the estate from the Powers That Be should I fall ill."You know that I will always take care of you," she tells me. I do not.By her fourth visit our strained relationship falls into disrepair. We do not speak for many months. I'm glad to be rid of her.I work as a waiter at a gay resort in Guerneville, on the Russian River. I fuck the manager at the time of interview in order to get the job. My subsequent diagnosis has done little to calm my promiscuity.I wear shorts as part of my uniform. I don't bother to protect myself from hands of vacationing fags who behave like the crazed teenagers in Palm Springs Weekend, starring Troy Donahue and Connie Stevens. Tips are great.Much of my expendable income is spent on cocaine and carousing. I am sexually active, with little sense of responsibility, and free of guilt. I don't care.I nightly drink eight weeks' worth of my alcohol allotment.I don't care.TANGFood and beverage of my childhood are strange and wonderful things. Twinkies are lighter than air and have creme filling. Wonder Bread is light as well. I like it less for the taste and more for the way it makes little balls of dough when you squish it. These balls are handy for throwing at my little brother. Poor Mark is always getting pelted with things. Steve likes to throw plu

Genres: Fiction

Mass Market Paperback

First published April 1, 2000

Reviews

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is an unflinching approach to a few things: namely, being a gay man diagnosed with HIV in the 90s, being traumatized, being addicted to drugs, and altogether being reckless. You can tell the narrator (who is never named apart from a birth certificate) views himself in a terrible light. This takes place long before the HIV diagnosis, which is revealed on the first page.

I loved the prose. Solid with no excess detail. And I appreciated the honesty. When I read the writing, I was reminded of other gay authors like Bret Easton Ellis or Dennis Cooper. The subject matter is pretty serious but there's an ironic tone in the writing. Some humor too and odd situations that kept things interesting. I liked the random poetry in one of the chapters, somehow it was refreshing to read.

As bad as it sounds, I liked his reckless mistakes. He kept pushing people away from him. He openly admits to having intimacy issues and his relationships are a mess, which are caused by issues detailed in flashback chapters. His friends aren't much of friends at all. His employers suck. His family is terrible. Romance is often toxic for him. In one scene, he sees a mother and daughter bonding over shopping, and decides the only similar relationship in his life is with drugs.

The inability for him to hold down a job is unfortunate, but great to read about because he jumps from place to place with new experiences at each. And above all, something about him is very human in this writing. I'm not going to say he's a good person. You feel sorry for him but you also feel disgusted by him because he can be incredibly shallow or even offensive at times. And other times there's surprising depth.

I don't think the author was trying to make him a good or bad person. I think he was just trying to make him real. Drugs cover feelings he can't bear to feel. He's afraid of people being good or kind to him. He doesn't know when he loves someone and doubts feelings of intimacy.

Interestingly, most reviews out there are 20 years old. The book was heralded for an honest exploration of being gay and HIV-positive. Many reviewed it, even New York Times. But today, it reads as dated because it's focused on period-specific topics. Not necessarily a bad thing. I got a good picture of what the author wanted to say on life back then. And even today it has applicability.

I don't know what happened to the author. I searched online and my guess is that he stopped writing or this was a pseudonym for someone else. The publisher seems to have folded. I'm pretty sure this book is out of print, I only got a copy after stumbling onto it at the Internet Archive site.

[Leonel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked another physical book from my pile: Craig Curtis' "Fabulous hell." I remember the exact moment i bought this: for a dollar at a second hand book shop. As I touch the book, I notice that the pages have all yellowed. A great touch, since the novel, set in the 90s, now sounds like a period piece. A young man, just having found out that he is HIV positive, lives life in the fast lane, seemingly ambivalent to the consequences it could give to his life. The novel is meant to be provocative, and int he context, it is. A young man is thrown a wrench as he lives his fabulous life, while he struggles to find himself in the world. Nowadays, while it is still a deal to get the same diagnosis, HIV infection is seen more as a chronic disease, akin or even less grave than diabetes. The older and wiser man in me now is strangely not as judgmental to this character, perhaps because I know this guy, from my generation. I don't even struggle to find the heart of the piece. As I turn the last page, I even wonder where this person would be now: has he grown older and wiser as well, or did he get stuck back in the vicious circle of his lifestyle? Either way would be fabulous.

http://luhathoughts.blogspot.com/2014...

[Susan Fine · Rating 5 out of 5]

With an acerbic wit that entertains as it stings, Craig Curtis brings you along on his journey to Fabulous Hell. His first novel is a must read that will break your heart while you're laughing out loud!