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Pójdź, bądź moim światłem. Prywatne pisma „Świętej z Kalkuty”
Matka Teresa, pomagająca potrzebującym, uśmiechnięta, pełna wiary - taką ją zapamiętaliśmy. Ta książka odsłania przejmującą historię walki ze "straszliwą ciemnością", jaką toczyła w swoim życiu duchowym.
„Jeśli kiedykolwiek będę Świętą - na pewno będę Świętą od »ciemności«. Będę ciągle nieobecna w Niebie - aby zapalać światło tym, którzy są w ciemności na ziemi.”
(fragment książki)
Matka Teresa z Kalkuty, niestrudzenie niosąca pomoc najuboższym i zapomnianym, uśmiechnięta, z przekonaniem mówiąca o Bogu – taki obraz „świętej z Kalkuty” wyłania się z tysiąca zdjęć, filmów i książek. „Pójdź, bądź moim światłem” to niezwykła historia, która do tego wyobrażenia dodaje całkiem nową wartość. Opracowane przez Briana Kolodiejchuka, postulatora jej procesu kanonizacyjnego, listy błogosławionej to wciągająca narracja, która odsłania wstrząsającą prawdę o duchowym życiu Matki Teresy, „straszliwej ciemności”, w której była pogrążona przez 50 lat.
„Jeśli kiedykolwiek będę Świętą - na pewno będę Świętą od »ciemności«. Będę ciągle nieobecna w Niebie - aby zapalać światło tym, którzy są w ciemności na ziemi.”
(fragment książki)
Matka Teresa z Kalkuty, niestrudzenie niosąca pomoc najuboższym i zapomnianym, uśmiechnięta, z przekonaniem mówiąca o Bogu – taki obraz „świętej z Kalkuty” wyłania się z tysiąca zdjęć, filmów i książek. „Pójdź, bądź moim światłem” to niezwykła historia, która do tego wyobrażenia dodaje całkiem nową wartość. Opracowane przez Briana Kolodiejchuka, postulatora jej procesu kanonizacyjnego, listy błogosławionej to wciągająca narracja, która odsłania wstrząsającą prawdę o duchowym życiu Matki Teresy, „straszliwej ciemności”, w której była pogrążona przez 50 lat.
524 pages, Hardcover
First published September 4, 2007
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5890 people want to read
About the author
Mother Teresa
220 books2,256 followersMother Mary Teresa Bojaxhiu[6] (born Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu, Albanian: [aˈɲɛzə ˈɡɔndʒɛ bɔjaˈdʒiu]; 26 August 1910 – 5 September 1997), honoured in the Catholic Church as Saint Teresa of Calcutta,[7] was an Albanian-Indian[4] Roman Catholic nun and missionary.[8] She was born in Skopje (now the capital of North Macedonia), then part of the Kosovo Vilayet of the Ottoman Empire. After living in Skopje for eighteen years, she moved to Ireland and then to India, where she lived for most of her life.
In 1950, Teresa founded the Missionaries of Charity, a Roman Catholic religious congregation that had over 4,500 nuns and was active in 133 countries in 2012. The congregation manages homes for people who are dying of HIV/AIDS, leprosy and tuberculosis. It also runs soup kitchens, dispensaries, mobile clinics, children's and family counselling programmes, as well as orphanages and schools. Members take vows of chastity, poverty, and obedience, and also profess a fourth vow – to give "wholehearted free service to the poorest of the poor."[9]
Following her death she was beatified by Pope John Paul II and canonized by Pope Francis.
In 1950, Teresa founded the Missionaries of Charity, a Roman Catholic religious congregation that had over 4,500 nuns and was active in 133 countries in 2012. The congregation manages homes for people who are dying of HIV/AIDS, leprosy and tuberculosis. It also runs soup kitchens, dispensaries, mobile clinics, children's and family counselling programmes, as well as orphanages and schools. Members take vows of chastity, poverty, and obedience, and also profess a fourth vow – to give "wholehearted free service to the poorest of the poor."[9]
Following her death she was beatified by Pope John Paul II and canonized by Pope Francis.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 576 reviews
April 9, 2024
An INCREDIBLE saga - and a testament to the strength of sheer human faith and perseverance though endless, bone-chilling duress!
Have you ever been gripped by an painful contraction of your solar plexus as you grapple with a nameless, insurmountable inner anguish?
Mother Teresa - that endlessly busy, always-smiling missionary - had that horrible affliction without pause for most of her life.
And this is the riveting story of her ultimate triumph over that deadly existential dread.
Nowadays doctors give it many names - agoraphobia, depression, paranoia - take your pick.
Back in the 1800’s Soren Kierkegaard, bless him, called it the Sickness Unto Death.
It’s that serious.
Except that Death is merely the death-rattle of a vicious world in our soul.
And this brave little nun, who NEVER gave up believing and hoping, lived to see it utterly evaporate.
How many cynical naysayers have dissed this noble woman’s untiring efforts, unaware of the NIGHTMARES that fuelled her work and gave it supreme energy?
Let them consider the plague she was healed from!
You know, I was constantly pestered with similar anxiety and self-doubt when young, though it’s FOR SURE I was no saint, and my pain was picayune compared to hers.
Though I never saw it all vanish as she did, books like this have greatly mollified my pain over the years.
And with the end of my anguish in clear hope, my sense of being at home with kindness - in a world of vast indifference - has increased.
Why should we care if the cold grey world reaps its anxious harvest of uneven returns on its unsound amoral investment?
That’s only natural, just and proper.
Funny - I guess I’m a bit like the afflicted guy who, out of a large crowd of poor souls who were healed by the Master at one point in the gospels, was the only one to go back and thank Him.
I’m still so grateful to Him that now I post it on Goodreads...
Per correr miglior acqua alza le vele...
Che lascia dietro a se mar si crudele.
Yes, Dante says it best!
I’ve escaped from the Vicious Pit of the Inferno - which so many incessantly renovate and decorate and show off to their friends - so I can sail over the smooth waters of peace once again.
And you may be like I was - wending my way unnoticed up the dark back stairs of the old, decrepit house of my heart to the safety of the Upper Room.
For John of the Cross was right: in the heart of our faith there is perfect healing, oblivious to the world’s night.
And when the world sees someone who remains unshaken in his faith, it averts its steely gaze.
You see, Mother Teresa was one of us. Not a plaster saint.
A woman with the kind of personal anguish that could sink a ship - yet she was COMPLETELY healed, something few of us will ever know.
Was she ‘sick’ before that?
Perhaps in a mystical sense, under Kierkegaard’s diagnosis. But Dysfunctional?
NEVER. She just kept on struggling through that storm strongly - and Excelling.
Mother Teresa dared to climb the Everest of her Dread all by herself, slipping over and over again into unbearable inner pain - until her kindly friends gave her a few homely, helpful tips that helped her to Find her Way.
And when she died at a ripe old age, she could go in peace...
For she had REACHED THE SUMMIT.
Have you ever been gripped by an painful contraction of your solar plexus as you grapple with a nameless, insurmountable inner anguish?
Mother Teresa - that endlessly busy, always-smiling missionary - had that horrible affliction without pause for most of her life.
And this is the riveting story of her ultimate triumph over that deadly existential dread.
Nowadays doctors give it many names - agoraphobia, depression, paranoia - take your pick.
Back in the 1800’s Soren Kierkegaard, bless him, called it the Sickness Unto Death.
It’s that serious.
Except that Death is merely the death-rattle of a vicious world in our soul.
And this brave little nun, who NEVER gave up believing and hoping, lived to see it utterly evaporate.
How many cynical naysayers have dissed this noble woman’s untiring efforts, unaware of the NIGHTMARES that fuelled her work and gave it supreme energy?
Let them consider the plague she was healed from!
You know, I was constantly pestered with similar anxiety and self-doubt when young, though it’s FOR SURE I was no saint, and my pain was picayune compared to hers.
Though I never saw it all vanish as she did, books like this have greatly mollified my pain over the years.
And with the end of my anguish in clear hope, my sense of being at home with kindness - in a world of vast indifference - has increased.
Why should we care if the cold grey world reaps its anxious harvest of uneven returns on its unsound amoral investment?
That’s only natural, just and proper.
Funny - I guess I’m a bit like the afflicted guy who, out of a large crowd of poor souls who were healed by the Master at one point in the gospels, was the only one to go back and thank Him.
I’m still so grateful to Him that now I post it on Goodreads...
Per correr miglior acqua alza le vele...
Che lascia dietro a se mar si crudele.
Yes, Dante says it best!
I’ve escaped from the Vicious Pit of the Inferno - which so many incessantly renovate and decorate and show off to their friends - so I can sail over the smooth waters of peace once again.
And you may be like I was - wending my way unnoticed up the dark back stairs of the old, decrepit house of my heart to the safety of the Upper Room.
For John of the Cross was right: in the heart of our faith there is perfect healing, oblivious to the world’s night.
And when the world sees someone who remains unshaken in his faith, it averts its steely gaze.
You see, Mother Teresa was one of us. Not a plaster saint.
A woman with the kind of personal anguish that could sink a ship - yet she was COMPLETELY healed, something few of us will ever know.
Was she ‘sick’ before that?
Perhaps in a mystical sense, under Kierkegaard’s diagnosis. But Dysfunctional?
NEVER. She just kept on struggling through that storm strongly - and Excelling.
Mother Teresa dared to climb the Everest of her Dread all by herself, slipping over and over again into unbearable inner pain - until her kindly friends gave her a few homely, helpful tips that helped her to Find her Way.
And when she died at a ripe old age, she could go in peace...
For she had REACHED THE SUMMIT.
July 25, 2012
I can totally understand other reviewers' confused/dismayed reactions to the "dark night of the soul" of Mother Teresa, which is especially poignant as it lasted for over 50 years. But, perhaps I can share some light on the subject (pun intended :)). Our dear Bishop Emeritus in Charlotte, NC, Bishop William Curlin, was a spiritual director for Mother and knew her for MANY years, having met her when he was a young priest in Washington, DC, and having given retreats to her and her sisters and frequent spiritual direction to Mother over the years. He is now 87 years 'young' and has often given talks/retreats at my church about Mother Teresa and her spirituality and his experiences with her. Perhaps having been immersed in his humorous, moving and endearing stories about this "tough old broad" :) while learning from him that despite her great loss of consolation in any feelings of Our Lord's presence, she made the choice each day to keep showing her love of Jesus through ministering to the poorest of the poor. Knowing this before reading the book helped me handle the rigors of vicariously living through such suffering. As Catholic readers know, most Saints recognized by Holy Mother Church go through a purification known as the "dark night" when they feel a complete void of any consolation or feelings of closeness to God; in fact, they often feel desolate and abandoned, fearful that their life's work has been a mistake. It happens to some of the best of them including Mother Teresa's namesakes, St. Therese of Lisieux and St. Teresa of Avila. Ironically, it is precisely in these moments that they reach the highest level of holiness as they continue to make acts of faith, hope and love, despite terrible temptations from the devil to despair while dealing with physical, spiritual and emotional pain that is hard for most of us to imagine. When they choose to love and serve God in the moment, no matter how dark the moment is internally for them, they are aligning themselves totally with God's holy will and pleasing Him immensely. To understand more this great paradox of joy in suffering, I would highly recommend reading Fr. Jacques Philippe's book, "Searching for and Maintaining Peace, A Small Treatise on Peace of Heart" and for an in-depth and rich understanding of Mother's beautiful spirituality of remembering Jesus' thirst on the cross (one of the last seven words) and how we, too, can console our Lord's tender and merciful heart, do yourself a favor and read Fr. Michael Gaitely's book, "Consoling the Heart of Jesus" and "33 Days to Morning Glory." WOW! Only the Holy Spirit could have given such insights into beautiful and direct paths to God.
April 9, 2018
در تمام لحظهها لبخند بر لب دارم. مردم با مشاهدهی این نشانهها تصور میکنند که ایمان و اعتقاد درونم را پر کرده و در دوستی با خدا غرق شدهام. آنها نمیدانند که این لبخند، این شادمانی ردایی است که من در آن تنهایی و بیچارگی خود را پوشیده نگاه میدارم. این درد آنقدر عظیم است که حس میکنم نزدیک است همه چیز بشکند. زمانی میخواستی نقش تو را در قلبم حک کنم، آلام تو در قلبم نقش ببندد. آیا این پاسخ توست؟
نیمهی تاریک مادر ترزا
در مورد مادر ترزا و به نقل از او آنقدر نوشته و گفتهاند که اگر این کتاب شرح حالی کلیشهای از زندگی او بود ارزش خواندن نداشت. کتاب نقل مستقیم و تفسیر اعترافات، نامهها و مکاتبات شخصی و محرمانهی مادر ترزا با مقامات کلیسای کاتولیک است که مادر ترزا هرگز تمایلی به انتشار آنها نداشته. در واقع اگر چاپ این کتاب به اختیار و انتخاب مادر ترزا بود، او در نابودن کردن و سوزاندن نامهها و اسناد مرتبط با آن درنگ نمیکرد، چنانچه سالها پیش چنین درخواستی را در گفتگو با پدر وناکسم بیان کرده است
وجود نامههای من دیگر هیچ ضرورتی ندارد. اگر ممکن است انها ره به من بازگردانید، زیرا انها نشاندهندهی احوالات درونی من در آن دوران هستند. مایلم آنها را بسوزانم تا هرچه در آن مربوط به من است از میان برود. از شما خواهش میکنم عالیجناب خواستهام را برآورده سازید. میخواهم اسرار من و خداوند تنها متعلق به ما باشد
در مورد انگیزههای مادر ترزا از بیان چنین درخواستی صحبتهای بسیاری هست. یکی از اصلیترین دلایلی که مادر ترزا چنین درخواستی را به طور مکرر با مقامات کلیسا در میان میگذاشت این بود که باور داشت راز مقدس تا زمانی که پنهان بماند مقدس است. در واقع او نمیخواست آنچه را که الهام و خوانده شدن از طرف عیسی مسیح میدانست آشکارا برای دیگران شرح دهد. علت دیگر این بود که او تمایلی نداشت هیچ نامی از او برده شده و دنیا به شخص او توجه خاصی بکند، در عوض میخواست تمام تحسین متعلق به کلیسای کاتولیک و خداوندش باشد
با این اوصاف، بدون شک با یک کتاب مستند و ارزشمند روبرو هستیم که طیف مخاطبین آن بسیار گسترده است. کتابی که به زوایای پنهان شخصیت مادر ترزا میپردازد، به شخصیترین قسمتهای وجود آدمی که هیچ کس دوست ندارد آن را برای دیگران بازگو کند. کتابی که نه تنها منتشر کردنش توسط کلیسا، حتی خواندنش توسط مخاطب عادی هم شجاعت بسیاری میخواهد.
نکتهی محوری کتاب، عهد پنهان مادر ترزا با خداوندِ خود از یک سو و ظلمت درونی و خلاء عمیقی از سوی دیگر است که او از آغاز فعالیتهایش درون خود احساس میکند، ظلمتی که روز به روز تاریکتر میشود و او را از درون بیشتر میفرساید. قرار گرفتن این دو در کنار هم، او را با ایمانی که گویی خشکیده و خالی از هر شور و اشتیاقی شده روبر میکند. این تناقض درونی را در پرتوی اعمال مادر ترزا و نتیجهی فعالیتهایش میتوان از زوایای مختلفی سنجید. نویسندهی کتاب از منظر روحانی و عرفان مسیحی به آن پرداخته، اما همانطور که پیشتر اشاره کردم مخاطبین عادی و پژوهشگران و کنشگران مدنی هم میتوانند خوانندهی ویژهی کتاب باشند
این ریویو کامل میشود
April 7, 2008
I have to be honest, I didn't finish this book. And, I'm ambivalent about it, the book that is.
It's mostly Mother Teresa's letters to her spiritual director/confessor and bishop and others, with some interpretive and connecting material in between from the author. I found the author's emphases to be strange. For example, the time of waiting while the Missionaries of Charity was being considered and approved by the church hierarchy was stretched out over a handful of chapters. I made it exactly halfway through the book, and have only just arrived at Mother Teresa's experiences of deep darkness and struggle. Rarely does the author's connecting interpretive material rise to the level of Mother Teresa herself.
On the other hand, I have a file on my computer of Mother Teresa quotes. Her devotion to Jesus is remarkable, and I found many of her turns of phrase and ways of thinking through her faith worth saving and remembering. (Which is one of the reasons I wasn't willing to skim through the "boring" parts...I never knew when she was going to say something striking.)
I recommend reading this book devotionally, while reading something else...I don't know, more seriously? I simply lost interest in wading through the rough to get to the diamonds. Maybe later I'll feel compelled to return to it, but for now, I have to give it back to the library.
It's mostly Mother Teresa's letters to her spiritual director/confessor and bishop and others, with some interpretive and connecting material in between from the author. I found the author's emphases to be strange. For example, the time of waiting while the Missionaries of Charity was being considered and approved by the church hierarchy was stretched out over a handful of chapters. I made it exactly halfway through the book, and have only just arrived at Mother Teresa's experiences of deep darkness and struggle. Rarely does the author's connecting interpretive material rise to the level of Mother Teresa herself.
On the other hand, I have a file on my computer of Mother Teresa quotes. Her devotion to Jesus is remarkable, and I found many of her turns of phrase and ways of thinking through her faith worth saving and remembering. (Which is one of the reasons I wasn't willing to skim through the "boring" parts...I never knew when she was going to say something striking.)
I recommend reading this book devotionally, while reading something else...I don't know, more seriously? I simply lost interest in wading through the rough to get to the diamonds. Maybe later I'll feel compelled to return to it, but for now, I have to give it back to the library.
April 23, 2016
‘Pray—I must be able to give only Jesus to the world. People are hungry for God. What [a] terrible meeting [it] would be with our neighbor if we give them only ourselves.’ p.281
Seeing through Mother Teresa’s eyes the terrible spiritual darkness she daily lived is to enter another realm. For decades the world thought the black holes of abject poverty, sickness, death, and loneliness her true horrors. Little did anyone know that all the while the Missionary of Charity Religious (sisters, brothers and priests) communities were growing, attracting new members, reaching out to the poorest of the poor and spreading across the globe, their founder had been living in profound and utter spiritual emptiness, thinking herself deserted by her beloved Jesus.
Come Be My Light is the collection of Mother Teresa’s private letters to and from her spiritual directors before, during and after her ‘call within a call’, to leave one religious order and found a new one dedicated especially—at least initially—to the most destitute in the slums of Calcutta, India. Reading these letters is a unique, surprising and sobering experience. Tracing the course of Mother’s life from her quintessential call (1946) to her death (1997) through this spiritual dessert is inspiring. Her own mission was always in response to Jesus’ cry from the cross, “I thirst!” – not for liquid refreshment but for love of those He came to save.
I was moved time and again, amazed and awed by scarcely imaginable depths of holiness, beyond even what I imagine ever hoping to emulate. Sometimes that made me lament my own spiritual shortcomings, but then I would think, if Mother Teresa—a human creature who considered herself small and worthless—is so loving, generous and good, what must Our God be like?! Praise be to Him!
Probably the most inspirational book I’ve read all year. Worth reading and returning to often for reflection and motivation.
Seeing through Mother Teresa’s eyes the terrible spiritual darkness she daily lived is to enter another realm. For decades the world thought the black holes of abject poverty, sickness, death, and loneliness her true horrors. Little did anyone know that all the while the Missionary of Charity Religious (sisters, brothers and priests) communities were growing, attracting new members, reaching out to the poorest of the poor and spreading across the globe, their founder had been living in profound and utter spiritual emptiness, thinking herself deserted by her beloved Jesus.
Come Be My Light is the collection of Mother Teresa’s private letters to and from her spiritual directors before, during and after her ‘call within a call’, to leave one religious order and found a new one dedicated especially—at least initially—to the most destitute in the slums of Calcutta, India. Reading these letters is a unique, surprising and sobering experience. Tracing the course of Mother’s life from her quintessential call (1946) to her death (1997) through this spiritual dessert is inspiring. Her own mission was always in response to Jesus’ cry from the cross, “I thirst!” – not for liquid refreshment but for love of those He came to save.
I was moved time and again, amazed and awed by scarcely imaginable depths of holiness, beyond even what I imagine ever hoping to emulate. Sometimes that made me lament my own spiritual shortcomings, but then I would think, if Mother Teresa—a human creature who considered herself small and worthless—is so loving, generous and good, what must Our God be like?! Praise be to Him!
Probably the most inspirational book I’ve read all year. Worth reading and returning to often for reflection and motivation.
November 18, 2024
In this book, I encountered the private writings of somebody that I've always admired, and touted as my personal hero. Through this book, I discovered the specific reasons why Mother Teresa has always been a person who resonates with my personal ethos. Her deep devotion and love of Jesus is a recognition of her depravity as a human being, her complete devotion to the concept of servent, and her embodiment of the command to love one another. The result is somebody that you can't help but admire, even if your experience of or belief in Jesus is non-existant or negative. You discover a person who is completely authentic to her belief. Centered on the love and sacrifice of Jesus, Mother Teresa recognized the great disparity for love and service for the poor of Calcutta, and responded to the call that each person is intimately loved by God, and deserved to be loved by Him through the example and service of fellow beings. Through her lifelong devotion to the poorest of the poor, she became an icon of compassion to people from all walks of life and faith. What this book discloses is the interior darkness that permeated her life from the moment she began her work with the poor and created the Missionaries of Charity. Leading up to her break from her religious order, Teresa was so intimate with her God and with Jesus. She was consistently feeling His loving guidance and presence in her life, and enjoyed and benefited this love from her 'spouse.' Following His guidance, and through years of prayer and devotion to His voice, the Missionaries of Charity were born. Immediately, that close relationship was gone. The object of her devotion was no longer accessible or present, and the joyful light in her heart was replaced by the sensation of darkness. Only in her service of the poorest of the poor - and in their lives - did that light exist. What Mother Teresa endured has been compared to St John of the Cross' Dark Night of the Soul...except that this endured for the rest of her life, with only rare exceptions. And although she missed the personal presence of her beloved, and struggled with this loss, she recognized that her call was to serve the poorest of the poor, to do all these things with great joy, and to be an example of Christ's love in their lives. Her darkness became her mainstay, and her everlasting devotion to the poor all the more remarkable given her interior state. Truly, I don't know of a better example of giving of oneself. She became a light of love because she made herself so little. What affects me most profoundly is the concept of being little. There is so much we do as humans that gets in the way of listening and loving. I am too weak to bear the interior darkness under which Mother Teresa suffered. But I aspire to increase my devotion to the service and love of others. To do so, I must decrease my own self, and allow the presence of the mysterious Verb that authored life and commands us to love one another. I must become more little.
March 31, 2021
A wonderful book that shares the spiritual darkness of a recent saint. St. Mother Teresa as we knew, made a tremendous impact on human history and the Catholic Church. She shared the love of God with the poor and the unwanted. She listened to the voice that said to her, "I Thirst," a call within a call. The path she traveled was challenging but the one who called her always helped her to endure all the challenges. The problem she faced in her life was darkness. Throughout her life she struggled with the inner darkness, this book shares those struggles. Good spiritual food for all those who want to improve their spiritual lives.
April 29, 2023
“God cannot fill what is full. He can fill only emptiness — deep poverty — and your Yes is the beginning of being or becoming empty. It is not how much we really “have” to give — but how empty we are — so that we can receive fully in our life and let Him live His life in us.”
I quite honestly felt odd reading intimate letters that Mother had explicitly asked to be burned. However, she was a woman of faith and determination beyond anything I can comprehend and it is quite a testament to read her life straight from her own writings and those closest to her.
I quite honestly felt odd reading intimate letters that Mother had explicitly asked to be burned. However, she was a woman of faith and determination beyond anything I can comprehend and it is quite a testament to read her life straight from her own writings and those closest to her.
October 7, 2012
This woman was such a blessing to our world and her teachings and example should for always be emulated and practiced
August 7, 2008
I found this book somewhat disturbing. There is no doubt in my mind that Mother Theresa is a saint; her behavior leaves no doubt about that. And it is not her spirituality that perplexes me, but rather her understanding of that spirituality. She seems to contradict herself from one sentence to the next. Admittedly, she is working from the context of a spirituality formed in a time and place very different from our current one; but she seems to show no growth in understanding from her experience. She depends too heavily upon her spiritual directors for any understanding of her own experience. Her singular devotion is phenomenal. Her powers of perception and analysis in regard to spiritual growth in others are impressive.Can she really be so obtuse in regard to her own soul?
December 4, 2013
Maybe you read the story of Mother Teresa from her friends, those who served alongside her. Maybe you read it differently from her detractors, like Christopher Hitchens. Here is the story from her own hand … a brutally honest account, because she had no intention of anyone ever reading it. This is an annotated collection of her personal letters, mostly to those in authority over her in the Church. She begged repeatedly that these letters be destroyed, so that the world would never know what was in her heart as she ministered in Calcutta among the poorest of the poor. But the Church, after beautifying her as a saint, felt the letters were an important part of Catholic history. Rather than destroying them, after her death they were published in this book.
For the first time, the rest of the world was made aware of the deep darkness inside this saint. Mother Teresa had pleaded over and over with the Church to be allowed to go to India and set up a ministry there for the poor. She felt she had received direction straight from Jesus for this task, and that by being a help and comfort to them—the forsaken, the lepers, the hungry, the sick—she was sharing the love of Jesus. Years, she waited for permission, before it was granted. But almost immediately upon arrival, she began to feel a darkness in her soul. She felt no God there in India. God had abandoned her, leaving only darkness, despair, and doubt. Doubt about whether there was a heaven; doubt at times about even His existence. For nearly fifty years until her death, she struggled with darkness in her soul, painting a smile on her face so as to be an encouragement to others, while bearing the pain alone.
“The place of God in my soul is blank—There is no God in me—when the pain of longing is so great—I just long and long for God—and then it is that I feel—He does not want me—He is not there—“
Every single letter in the book, I believe, contained a plea for others to pray for her, that she could endure the darkness.
“Pray for me—for within me everything is icy cold.”
“I am told God loves me—and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. … The whole time smiling …my cheerfulness is the cloak by which I cover the emptiness & misery.”
I get the feeling that even the book’s author, in collecting and presenting these letters, underestimated the depth of Mother Teresa’s hopelessness:
“If there be no God—there can be no soul.—If there is no soul then Jesus—You also are not true.—Heaven, what emptiness—not a single thought of Heaven enters my mind—for there is no hope. … In my heart there is no faith—no love—no trust—there is so much pain—the pain of longing, the pain of not being wanted. … I don’t pray any longer.
“If there is hell—this must be one. How terrible it is to be without God—no prayer—no faith—no love.”
The darkness never lifted. I think it was only in about the last ten years of her life that she finally made peace with it, comparing it to the darkness Jesus felt in the Garden, and on the cross. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Mother Teresa found in the darkness a “greater identification with the poor,” and in this way, lived out the rest of her life in service.
For the first time, the rest of the world was made aware of the deep darkness inside this saint. Mother Teresa had pleaded over and over with the Church to be allowed to go to India and set up a ministry there for the poor. She felt she had received direction straight from Jesus for this task, and that by being a help and comfort to them—the forsaken, the lepers, the hungry, the sick—she was sharing the love of Jesus. Years, she waited for permission, before it was granted. But almost immediately upon arrival, she began to feel a darkness in her soul. She felt no God there in India. God had abandoned her, leaving only darkness, despair, and doubt. Doubt about whether there was a heaven; doubt at times about even His existence. For nearly fifty years until her death, she struggled with darkness in her soul, painting a smile on her face so as to be an encouragement to others, while bearing the pain alone.
“The place of God in my soul is blank—There is no God in me—when the pain of longing is so great—I just long and long for God—and then it is that I feel—He does not want me—He is not there—“
Every single letter in the book, I believe, contained a plea for others to pray for her, that she could endure the darkness.
“Pray for me—for within me everything is icy cold.”
“I am told God loves me—and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. … The whole time smiling …my cheerfulness is the cloak by which I cover the emptiness & misery.”
I get the feeling that even the book’s author, in collecting and presenting these letters, underestimated the depth of Mother Teresa’s hopelessness:
“If there be no God—there can be no soul.—If there is no soul then Jesus—You also are not true.—Heaven, what emptiness—not a single thought of Heaven enters my mind—for there is no hope. … In my heart there is no faith—no love—no trust—there is so much pain—the pain of longing, the pain of not being wanted. … I don’t pray any longer.
“If there is hell—this must be one. How terrible it is to be without God—no prayer—no faith—no love.”
The darkness never lifted. I think it was only in about the last ten years of her life that she finally made peace with it, comparing it to the darkness Jesus felt in the Garden, and on the cross. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Mother Teresa found in the darkness a “greater identification with the poor,” and in this way, lived out the rest of her life in service.
November 23, 2007
I am so disappointed in this book! The prologue explains all about how Mother Teresa never wanted her papers published, and even asked people to burn letters she sent to them. Now that she's dead she'll surely understand that her life belonged not to her but to the church, which can do with her writings as it sees fit. I guess that's probably true, but still, ick.
Furthermore, I expected to read about the crises of faith that working among the poor without seeing improvement over time might naturally cause. But, instead, the author presents a completely one-dimensional image, utterly without depth or complexity.
Furthermore, I expected to read about the crises of faith that working among the poor without seeing improvement over time might naturally cause. But, instead, the author presents a completely one-dimensional image, utterly without depth or complexity.
January 22, 2008
Mother Teresa had so much love for God and for others, that to sit down and read about her work...is difficult. It is difficult to measure my own feeble efforts to love against her self-sacrifice and dedication.
Yet this book has helped me. The most valuable thing I took away was the idea that we each must look to the unloved, unwanted and uncared for in our own homes, community and life--and that we must realize that whatever we do to them, we do to Jesus. We cannot separate our care for them and our love for Him.
on loan to whitney cantrell
Yet this book has helped me. The most valuable thing I took away was the idea that we each must look to the unloved, unwanted and uncared for in our own homes, community and life--and that we must realize that whatever we do to them, we do to Jesus. We cannot separate our care for them and our love for Him.
on loan to whitney cantrell
August 10, 2015
I actually read this book a few years ago and just remembered it while adding books to my everlasting impression book shelf. I absolutely love Mother Teresa, she is my idol. I actually wanted to be a nun at one time because of her but then I got introduced to Victoria's Secrets, high heels, and boy's. Don't judge me! lol I have to say that I felt bad at first for reading this book because she never wanted anyone to read private notes and that her faith, like many others, had faltered at times. However, I am so happy that they were published. Why? Because it makes her more relatable and if someone like Mother Teresa can lose her faith time and again but still find a way to bring Him back into her heart and renew her faith, then by all means - "Come be my light." Then I too can falter and not be ashamed that I have lost my faith at times and I can find my way back to Him again (and so can you).The best thing about this book is what I learned about myself. I believe everyone should read this book, especially if you've ever questioned Him or your faith. I believe He wanted her notes to be published and her faith to falter a bit to reach out to us all. Mother Teresa, what a remarkable Angel.
January 23, 2018
This was a really hard (and long!) read. The insight (via personal letters) into Mother Teresa's inner darkness left me reeling. The book, however, couches these desperate and intense thoughts with many words about how good all of this inner turmoil was. I found it disturbing, confusing, and not as inspirational as I suspect it was supposed to be portrayed. Mother Theresa, for all the good she did in the world, felt unwanted and unloved by God. Is this the cup she would accept for any of the people she ministered to?
October 23, 2022
گر نبودی عشق هستی کی بدی.
عجب انسان شریف و بزرگی بود زمین با وجود چنین انسانهایی به خودش می بالد.
شرح زیبای زندگی و دیدگاه ها و خدمات این انسان بزرگ توسط استاد ملکیان(آگاپه ؛ عشق بی قیدو شرط):
https://www.aparat.com/v/5DbMC
عجب انسان شریف و بزرگی بود زمین با وجود چنین انسانهایی به خودش می بالد.
شرح زیبای زندگی و دیدگاه ها و خدمات این انسان بزرگ توسط استاد ملکیان(آگاپه ؛ عشق بی قیدو شرط):
https://www.aparat.com/v/5DbMC
January 25, 2026
I have a strong devotion to Mother Teresa and after reading this book my heart feels ever more drawn to her. So many things in the book spoke to me and resonated, but aside from how her words and witness touched me personally, her fidelity to Jesus was beautiful. Her soul, although dark, radiated Christ’s light. In her deepest sorrows and darkest times she was humble, faithful, and always striving to love those before her when she herself felt desolate. She felt completely empty, sorrowful, and often discouraged but always poured into others with a smile. She never ever wanted to deny Jesus, so she never wanted to deny anyone she came in contact with. At the grace of God her dark interior rarely affected her exterior. I loveeeeee her I loveeeee this book. What a beautiful soul she was, she gave it alllll for God and his work. Others told me I’d cry at the end and I indeed did.
April 6, 2008
I'm demolished by this book. Honestly I still don't know what to make of it but for the time being I am absolutely consumed, brained and agog by it.
I was raised Catholic but the church and I parted ways many moons ago. Much like an enstranged relative, I still keep up with news of what's shaking with the new Pope, what taco Jesus appeared in and what photo's crying blood and all that.
Mother Teresa has always intrigued me. Always. How can someone be so selfless? Divine Calling? Mental illness? Selfishness to be adored in the eyes of God? Masochist? Blind obediance? Pure soul?
All of these answers could be considered after reading this book.
These are the personal letters to her confessors and her confidantes throughout Momma T's life. They have been published against her will in an effort to understand her life and work.
What the letters describe is a woman who desperately sought a God she felt abandoned her. At times her own words brought me tears as her pain is so palpable. This woman was, by her own admission, "empty"; "filled with darkness"; "suffering". Yet she still went through her life to help 'the poorest of the poor' because she thought God/Jesus told her to. This was a woman entirely and utterly consumed in doing "God's work" as "she is an instrument" and "nothing".
The letters themselves are remarkable. The in between commentary by the priest that was working towards her sainthood is expectedly (is that even a word) biased and frankly gets tiresome. However, the mere existance of her words are incredible. Take away from them what you will, no matter what religion you are.
As I said, I'm still trying to figure out what to make of it, but I know I shall never forget what I just read.
I was raised Catholic but the church and I parted ways many moons ago. Much like an enstranged relative, I still keep up with news of what's shaking with the new Pope, what taco Jesus appeared in and what photo's crying blood and all that.
Mother Teresa has always intrigued me. Always. How can someone be so selfless? Divine Calling? Mental illness? Selfishness to be adored in the eyes of God? Masochist? Blind obediance? Pure soul?
All of these answers could be considered after reading this book.
These are the personal letters to her confessors and her confidantes throughout Momma T's life. They have been published against her will in an effort to understand her life and work.
What the letters describe is a woman who desperately sought a God she felt abandoned her. At times her own words brought me tears as her pain is so palpable. This woman was, by her own admission, "empty"; "filled with darkness"; "suffering". Yet she still went through her life to help 'the poorest of the poor' because she thought God/Jesus told her to. This was a woman entirely and utterly consumed in doing "God's work" as "she is an instrument" and "nothing".
The letters themselves are remarkable. The in between commentary by the priest that was working towards her sainthood is expectedly (is that even a word) biased and frankly gets tiresome. However, the mere existance of her words are incredible. Take away from them what you will, no matter what religion you are.
As I said, I'm still trying to figure out what to make of it, but I know I shall never forget what I just read.
January 29, 2014
I could not finish this book, I was so irritated and outraged. I'm surprised at how polar opposite Mother Teresa's values are to mine. Christopher Hitchens said that Mother Teresa was not a friend of the poor. She was a friend of poverty. I could not agree more with Hitchens. Poverty and suffering are not gifts from God. Mother Teresa did nothing to empower women. How is this not a scandal?
Theologically she could not get beyond the Suffering of Christ. It was her complete focus - the crucified Lord, His suffering and agony, His thirst, His divine poverty, this whole darkness bit. Not once in the 100 pages I read did she mention the Resurrection or the Risen Lord. Isn't the Resurrection the complete and utter game-changer for Christians?
This fawning book is outrageous to me, not only for theological reasons but social responsibility reasons as well. Alas.
Theologically she could not get beyond the Suffering of Christ. It was her complete focus - the crucified Lord, His suffering and agony, His thirst, His divine poverty, this whole darkness bit. Not once in the 100 pages I read did she mention the Resurrection or the Risen Lord. Isn't the Resurrection the complete and utter game-changer for Christians?
This fawning book is outrageous to me, not only for theological reasons but social responsibility reasons as well. Alas.
July 10, 2019
“The fruit of silence is prayer,
The fruit of prayer is faith,
The fruit of faith is love,
The fruit of love is service,
The fruit of service is peace.” –Mother Teresa
I received this book as a gift and thoroughly enjoyed this glimpse into the life and faith of a remarkable woman. Her consuming love of Jesus shined forth even throughout the lengthy period of her Dark Night, as she kept that pain well hidden from all except her closest advisors. Though she requested her letters, etc. be destroyed, I am grateful they have survived to become the blessing they are today, especially for those struggling with their own Dark Night. I now have a better appreciation for the women who stepped out in faith to launch the Missionaries of Charity.
The fruit of prayer is faith,
The fruit of faith is love,
The fruit of love is service,
The fruit of service is peace.” –Mother Teresa
I received this book as a gift and thoroughly enjoyed this glimpse into the life and faith of a remarkable woman. Her consuming love of Jesus shined forth even throughout the lengthy period of her Dark Night, as she kept that pain well hidden from all except her closest advisors. Though she requested her letters, etc. be destroyed, I am grateful they have survived to become the blessing they are today, especially for those struggling with their own Dark Night. I now have a better appreciation for the women who stepped out in faith to launch the Missionaries of Charity.
November 3, 2007
Reveals a level and type of devotion that I am unable to comprehend.
The editing was excellent. I especially appreciated the parallels between what Mother Teresa experienced and what other saints experienced.
But still, as a book, it wasn't that satisfying.
The editing was excellent. I especially appreciated the parallels between what Mother Teresa experienced and what other saints experienced.
But still, as a book, it wasn't that satisfying.
August 17, 2012
This book narrates the "dark night" experienced by the contemporary saint. Mother Teresa felt the absence of God at times and she expressed it through her private letters. She said that if ever she became the saint she would be the saint of darkness.
August 10, 2008
Wonderful book. Change your thinking kind of book.
Read
May 1, 2024Wow. What an incredibly holy, selfless and tenacious woman. Mother Teresa was amazing.
I really enjoyed reading the beginning section of this book, but found it easier to listen to the audiobook for the last part as it’s very heavily focussed on the dark night of Mother Teresa’s soul, the dryness, the loneliness, the sadness, and just really repeats all the terrible feelings Mother Teresa experienced (while never wavering from doing God’s will). I would say other than the beginning quarter of the book that is the main focus. I would love to read a book focussing on other aspects of her and her life. I was really interested in the beginning section about her call to start the Missionaries of Charity, all that entailed, and the beginnings of her order.
I found the letters in the beginning where Mother Teresa is begging for her letters to be destroyed (knowing they were later published in this book) quite sad, and the explanation of why they didn’t destroy them a bit brief. It felt a bit like going against her wishes and a violation of her privacy to read these - I just wish in her lifetime she had agreed to have these published and that it wasn’t done after her death without her consent (at least that’s my understanding of what happened). I really had to wrestle with that!
With that being said, I’m really glad I read it (I read it for a book club!). I have a way better understanding of a wonderful woman, and some insights in the book really stood out to me and I think they will stick with me forever!
I really enjoyed reading the beginning section of this book, but found it easier to listen to the audiobook for the last part as it’s very heavily focussed on the dark night of Mother Teresa’s soul, the dryness, the loneliness, the sadness, and just really repeats all the terrible feelings Mother Teresa experienced (while never wavering from doing God’s will). I would say other than the beginning quarter of the book that is the main focus. I would love to read a book focussing on other aspects of her and her life. I was really interested in the beginning section about her call to start the Missionaries of Charity, all that entailed, and the beginnings of her order.
I found the letters in the beginning where Mother Teresa is begging for her letters to be destroyed (knowing they were later published in this book) quite sad, and the explanation of why they didn’t destroy them a bit brief. It felt a bit like going against her wishes and a violation of her privacy to read these - I just wish in her lifetime she had agreed to have these published and that it wasn’t done after her death without her consent (at least that’s my understanding of what happened). I really had to wrestle with that!
With that being said, I’m really glad I read it (I read it for a book club!). I have a way better understanding of a wonderful woman, and some insights in the book really stood out to me and I think they will stick with me forever!
December 29, 2025
“Without Him I can do nothing. But even God could do nothing for someone already full. You have to be completely empty to let Him in to do what He will. That's the most beautiful part of God, eh? Being almighty, and yet not forcing Himself on anyone” (p. 260).
The spiritual journey of St. Teresa of Calcutta, especially her decades-long “dark night” referenced in many of the included letters in this book, is profoundly inspirational. Her trust in Jesus amidst her interior sufferings was immovable. That being said, I wish the editor would have portrayed a more balanced inclusion of St. Teresa’s letters regarding her work with the poor and how her ministerial experiences also affected her spiritual life. Her work with the poor was treated as an afterthought in this book, unfortunately.
The spiritual journey of St. Teresa of Calcutta, especially her decades-long “dark night” referenced in many of the included letters in this book, is profoundly inspirational. Her trust in Jesus amidst her interior sufferings was immovable. That being said, I wish the editor would have portrayed a more balanced inclusion of St. Teresa’s letters regarding her work with the poor and how her ministerial experiences also affected her spiritual life. Her work with the poor was treated as an afterthought in this book, unfortunately.
February 6, 2020
If you do not believe in God, this book is not for you. This is a book about the internal being of Mother Teresa.
“ It was not the suffering she endured that made her saint, but the love with which she loved her life through all suffering”.
I am a big fan of M Teresa, she is my most admired person in our time. Most would have heard about the good deeds she had done, full of positivity and practical wisdom. Yet, without understand and appreciate her internal sufferings and the determination to walk with God as explained in this book - we would never have truly understand the real source of power for her to carry on doing the work of the Missionaries of Charity.
I am glad I read this book ... a real source for contemplation about faith.
“ It was not the suffering she endured that made her saint, but the love with which she loved her life through all suffering”.
I am a big fan of M Teresa, she is my most admired person in our time. Most would have heard about the good deeds she had done, full of positivity and practical wisdom. Yet, without understand and appreciate her internal sufferings and the determination to walk with God as explained in this book - we would never have truly understand the real source of power for her to carry on doing the work of the Missionaries of Charity.
I am glad I read this book ... a real source for contemplation about faith.
January 20, 2024
Love Mother Teresa. Sometimes I feel like the commentary on her writings got in the way of the actual content, but it was good because it gave context. I liked that it was more about her spiritual life than her actual works, because you can tell everything flowed from her relationship with God, not just wanting to do good things.
May 30, 2019
La primera vez lo dejé a la mitad, me parecía todo increíblemente injusto. Lo retomé al cabo de unos años y la verdad es que me ha impresionado muchísimo. Cuánto sufrimiento. Ha sido un privilegio ser coetánea de Madre Teresa.
March 15, 2024
Mother Teresa understands your desire for mission and service, and also the depths of faith one needs in the midst of spiritual blindness and aridity. She. GETS. IT.
June 4, 2025
It was interesting reading in the introduction of Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light: The Private Writings of the Saint of Calcutta edited by Brian Kolodiejchuk that Mother Teresa herself didn't want these letters published. I was expecting that with the letters there would be a little more connective pieces between them from the the author.
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