How to Get a Girl Pregnant

by Karleen Pendleton Jiménez

Karleen Pendleton Jiménez has known that she was gay since she was three years old, and has wanted to have a baby for almost as long. But one crucial element was missing in the life of the butch Chicana lesbian—the sperm. This candid and humorous memoir follows Karleen’s challenges, adventures, successes, failures, humiliations, and triumphs while attempting to fulfill her dream of becoming a mother. Though at times lighthearted, such as when Karleen considers all of the potential options for ferilization—some anonymous, some not—it is a weighty topic, and one that will change her life forever. The book is her confession of desire, humility, and a search for perfection.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Queer, LGBT, Lesbian, Canada

192 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 2011

Reviews

[Beth F · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m a mother of three small children, so I’m intimately familiar with the types of impolite questions people ask pregnant ladies in general.

Q: Is it twins?
Q: Are you sure?
Q: Was it planned?
Q: *glances at swollen ringless finger* Who is the father?
Q: Ohhh, you have a husband?
Q: Will it be a natural delivery?
Q: Will you breastfeed?

I’m sure some of them are trying to make friendly conversation and it just comes out wrong (or maybe I’m trying to give people the benefit of the doubt), but so many of the questions I’ve been asked over the years crossed the line of respectability and the asker may just as well have blurted out…

Q: …soooo…you had sex and now you’re pregnant?!?

Yeah, that would be a fair assumption to make, strange person who wasn’t invited into my bedroom, because, I am a straight, married woman and yes indeed, the majority of babies born into the world are a product of heterosexual relations.

I’m particularly sensitive to these types of personal questions, having so recently been a target myself, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to being curious about how lesbians got pregnant. I wouldn’t dream of asking because it’s none of my damn business how anybody ever gets pregnant or what led them to decide to try to become a parent, but therein lies the beauty of a book, and this memoir in particular, because the author opened up her heart (and her legs) and shared her personal story about the process of getting pregnant outside of a heterosexual relationship. Her story was open and approachable, honest and real, and I could have easily sat down and read this in one sitting if real life had permitted it. KPJ is good stuff.

[Biblioblond · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could not put down this funny, sexy, heart-wrenching account of the author's years-long quest to have a baby. In her search for sperm, this butch lesbian propositions male friends, pays for 12-year old frozen sperm, undergoes fertility treatments, and picks up men in bars (after shaving her legs). I loved Karleen Pendleton Jiménez's descriptions of her strong connections to the people around her from her influential Latina mother, to her sexy and supportive girlfriend, to Irena, the ultrasound technician. I laughed out loud at her observation that most ultrasound technicians are Eastern European as this has also been my experience! The experiences that Karleen describes are so specific and yet her style of story-telling makes them seem universal which allows this book to appeal to a much larger audience than just readers interested in queer issues. This deeply personal story recounts the excitement and turmoils of the journey to motherhood and was the perfect read on Mother's Day weekend!

[Julie Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jimenez's talents as a screenwriter show in this well-paced memoir. She knows to offer only the most singularly unique circumstances of her situation, a butch-identified queer woman trying to get pregnant, and in doing so creates a solid case for the universality of motherhood and fertility issues. It's not who you are, but how this lonely journey makes you feel that has resonated with women of vastly varying backgrounds.

How to Get a Girl Pregnant is touching and humorous, and, it must be said, very sexy! Jimenez doesn't leave out the fun part of getting pregnant: SEX! (Guess you'll just have to read the book to figure out the rest.)

[Amme #10 · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dålig för jag kan inte få min tjej gravid

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is the advice heterosexual parents cannot give their queer children. This book made me cry simply because of how seen it made me feel. I felt understood. I felt loved. I felt like I was being hugged and told "It will be okay." It is so simple and beautiful and unpretentious. A must read for any queer wanting a family.

[Rachel Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend this book every chance I get, to any queer person I know hoping to start a family. Jimenez balanced blunt honesty with beautiful, poetic language. It’s a raw and honest account of pregnancy for a gender non-conforming person. She lays bare the choices and details that have to be considered in queer family making.

[Caelie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved karleen's writing from the heart. Great moments about the complications of being butch and wanting a baby and a Mexican man as her donor. Also some hot sex scenes.

[Karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

There wasn't much of a story here, and some of her decisions seems impractical and unethical.

[Beth E · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm surprised that the book ended where it did, and not with the author learning of the successful pregnancy. It felt chopped-off to me. Very abrupt.

[Dylan Nguyen · Rating 5 out of 5]

So it doesn’t go in the ear?

[Zack Frasier · Rating 5 out of 5]

It worked. Highly suggested. #regretted

[Brandon Pomerleau · Rating 5 out of 5]

Taught me how to better my stroke game with the huzz. I am rizz god now

[Penny Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it. She is a gifted story teller and a funny, uber observant woman as she writes from a first-person perspective about her fertility problems. Like she is literally telling it from the table, legs spread.. and is pretty inspiring in her courage and humour through it all. I think anyone who has worried about their ability to conceive (in future, present or past) as either a potential mother or their partner can relate to this. A special shout out too for it being a local, first time Toronto author (at least where adult books are concerned, I believe). And to the equally brave small publishing house that went with this. So much well done to Pendleton-Jimenez & Tightrope for delivering such a rare, really worth it narrative on would-be maternity. Thank you. Read it. Pass it on. I have, have done and it gets rave reviews every time xoxo

[willowdog]

Jimenez relates her story regarding her efforts as a butch lesbian to get pregnant. Fascinating in the details. Have some problem with the naivete of Jimenez. (Financial requirements of sperm donor and willingness of relief from parenthood i.e. some weekends off.

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don't skip ahead and spoil the story

[Isi · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 this book is so human :(