Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame

by George Collins MA, Andrew Adleman MA

Anyone who has struggled with sex addiction knows that living with constant sexual compulsions can be extremely difficult. But summoning the courage to find help for this condition can be even more of a challenge. If addictions to pornography, strip clubs, massage parlors, prostitutes, phone sex, or chat rooms have made you feel trapped, this book can help you find a way to break free. Written by a former sex addict who specializes in counseling people who suffer from sexually compulsive behavior, Breaking the Cycle presents a step-by-step plan to enjoying a life of productivity and purpose. You can free yourself from the powerful, compulsive urges that may have damaged your career, finances, or relationships with friends and family. The exercises in this book will show you how to regain control of your life and build meaningful intimate connections with others.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Addiction, Sexuality, Health, Audiobook, Nonfiction

224 pages, Paperback

Published October 1, 2011

Reviews

[Muhammad Hazem · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has helped me gain valuable awareness on how addiction really works and how to break the cycle. The name succeeds to deliver.

It is inspired by real stories that addicts can relate to. The author is a recovering sex addict himself which allows for more real and visceral stories about the power of addiction, and how he himself broke free.

It is a valuable book to be examined carefully in the course of recovery. It is, in my opinion, a must read for suffering addicts.

A real, no bull guide that can make a true difference if you open your mind enough to try what's suggested.

In my humble opinion though, there are approachs that are more holistic with an inclusive understanding of addiction such as that of the 12 steps program.

Some might favor dismissing it because of its spiritual flavor, but, at least for me, it has helped me stay sober. Breaking the cycle excels at tackling addiction in the mental sense, yet, for me, it seems an incomplete recovery guide.

There's more to addiction than that.

In summary, I recommend it in addition to other sources as well to paint a complete understanding of addiction.

[Ramón S. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book with a lot of tools or techniques in order to get free of any kind of sexual addiction.
Down to earth and sometimes funny.
However I miss references to God or to a Higher Power.
Eckhart Tolle a New Age “guru” is quoted frequently and his anthropology is the one of New Era: a man capable to save himself not needing to be saved .
My experience with addictions tells me that in a long term process we need a true Philosophy, Anthropology and Theology if we want to heal the wounds. It is not enough to stop, we need to know the answers to questions like: who I am? ,Who is God? and what is the meaning of life?

[ملاك · Rating 5 out of 5]

هذا الكتاب من الكتب التي تحتاج لقلم وورقة لتدوين كافة التمارين الموجودة فيه ، يستحق أن يقرأ أكثر من مرة.
يتحدث الكتاب عن مدمني المواد الإباحية الراغبين بالتعافي من الإدمان و سلوكياتهم القهرية وكيفية التخلص من هذه السلوكيات و معرفة أسبابها و محرضاتها و طرق التخلص منها للحصول على نمط حياة أفضل، لأن الإدمان لأي شيء يحتاج لشغل العادة الإيجابية مكان العادة السلبية الإدمانية حتى يتم التخلص منها بشكل صحيح و يقلل أو يعدم إمكانية العودة إليها.
من الأمور التي أحببتها هي نصيحة الكاتب للتعامل مع المرأة كإنسانة و ليس كأداة لإشباع الرغبات الجنسية للرجال.
عندما كنت أبحث عن كتب تتحدث عن الإدمان كنت أريد أن أقرأ عن مدمني الأكل أو الانترنت لكني لم أجد عن هذين الإدمانين ووقع هذا الكتاب بين يدي وأفادني بالإدمانين الذين كنت أود القراءة عنهما بشكل خاص بعيداً عن إدمان الجنس الذي لم أكن مهتمة به ، ولكنه عرفني بأن الرجل أو المرأة مدمني الجنس ليسا سيئين بالضرورة إنما هما مريضين يحتاجان منا للدعم النفسي و الاحترام لتجاوز هذه التجربة السيئة بعيداً عن النظر لهم نظرة مشينة تحط من إنسانيتهم، نعم الإنسان خطاء و نحن لسنا أفضل من أي خطاء آخر بل يجب علينا أن نساعد الخطائين بالنصيحة و التوجيه للأخصائيين و دعوتهم للتوبة النصوحة لله تعالى لكي نحصل على مجتمع سليم متماسك.
هناك ضرورة كبيرة لتربية النشى تربية جنسية سليمة و الحفاظ على علاقة تشوبها الثقة و عدم الخوف بين الأبناء و الآباء كي يستطيع الابناء تجاوز ما من الممكن أن يتعرضوا له من مواد إباحية منتشرة و عيش حياة جنسية صحية لإنشاء أسر سليمة نفسياً.

[Ido · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best on the subject in my opinion.
Combines great psychology with spirituality. Not other than
Eckhart Tolle is mentioned here with great insights
from The Powe Of Now.

Highly recommended.

[Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Except for the AA Big book, this may be the best book on addiction I have ever read.

[Bianca A. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am fascinated with porn and sex addiction ever since dating someone that couldn't develop his sexual connection with me because of this claimed addiction (before that, I didn't realize how much of a big deal it was; later on I also went on women's forums to confirm that it was also destroying quite a lot of marriages). I also can't help but notice how much of our young men and younger generations seem to be governed by a poor sense of intimacy and sensuality, or should I say hiding from them... behind the disconnected, superficial fantasies behind screens or that simply happen just inside their own heads. It's sad that men have been held hostage by this industry (haven't heard of many cases concerning women yet). It disconnects them from having meaningful, lasting, real connections with women... and often makes the woman in question feel insecure, insufficient and so on. I encourage awareness over the topic and for people who go through this to read books such as this one and to urgently seek professional help. Pornography addiction, just like any other addiction, is a solution people seek to problems they don't know how to solve in other ways - and there ARE other ways.

[Bishoy Beshay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book with insights and tools I haven't read about anywhere before. my only problem was the redundancy; I thought some parts were unnecessary and repetitive, otherwise this book is really helpful for self reflection and introspection that leads to truly knowing one's self although at first glance it might seem like a bunch of nonsense.

[Deyth Banger · Rating 5 out of 5]

"February 3, 2018 – page 232
100%
February 1, 2018 – page 225
100%
February 1, 2018 – page 224
100.0%
January 16, 2018 – page 200
89.29%
January 14, 2018 – page 159
70.98%
January 2, 2018 – page 96
42.86%
December 22, 2017 – page 80
35.71% "One child needs first to know that all Letters from A To Z exist and then to see that what happens his/her life needs a change.... It depends if we look it from this POV, if you have this compulsion, the answer is within this book."
December 22, 2017 – page 80
35.71% "It destroys people - mentally, it ruins all ways of being social, it ruins life, families and it creates thoughts of self-destruction."
December 22, 2017 – Shelved
December 22, 2017 – Started Reading"


P.S. - Very Useful book... it helps a lot in conquering this addiction.

[John Twinfield · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was a big dissappointment.
The writer makes many assumptions on the situation of the reader, which causes the book to be useful only to a very specific group of extreme addicts. E.g. The assumption that you have had a bad youth and that you're probably practicing illegal activities.
The overdramatization makes to book hard to be taken seriously.

I am clean for 36 days and I had a great help in another selfhelp book 'your brain on porn'.
That book is really general, down to earth and uses scientific sources wherever possible.
Breaking the cycle however, actually triggered me by using very explicit and farfetched anecdotes of sexual situations.
I recommend against buying this book.

[richwire · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding book. One of the best I've read on the subject. No sugar-coating, just blunt talk and useful strategies for freeing yourself. I've read it 3x so far.

[Kevin · Rating 5 out of 5]

No nonsense. Especially surprising in the Tell The Young Men chapter for the author not to suggest telling others about his book or his practice.

[Theron · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a helpful book providing useful information for ministry, albeit secular. It can be crude sometimes so watch out before you hand a copy over to someone!

[Felicia Wilde · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most useful books on the subject I've ever read. It is full of practices that a person can DO in order to recover. A practical guide for therapists as well.

[hassan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read for those undergoing sexual recovery. The only book you'll need for it.

[Gino Galotti · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was a difficult read because it touches a very personal and difficult subject, but I'm glad I went through it.

[Ahmed · Rating 5 out of 5]

كتاب جيد يحتوي علي العديد من التقنيات الرائعة التي سوف تخلصك من ادمان المواد الاباحية

[نور · Rating 3 out of 5]

مؤلف الكتاب ده أجنبي يا علمانيين الغبرة اللي في بلادنا اللي عايزين الناس تمشي عريانة ويفرغوا شهواتهم بأي طريقة مبتفرقش معاهم حلال ولا حرام.

عافانا الله وإياكم

[Ramesh · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is very Fanstatic book and well said, each word.

Very Good Book, well said in each page. George Is a Great Person. Very Nice book. Essential to readout, this type of book.

[ياسر · Rating 5 out of 5]

فعلاً إبداع وتوجيهات محفزة للإقلاع عن حقول الإدمان ليس فقط على المستوى الإباحي بل جميع الأغلال التي يئست من التحرر منها ..
شكراً للمؤلف جورج كولينز

[Logan Streondj · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've had several clients come to me with sex addiction issues and this book has been really insightful in understanding what it is and effective strategies for dealing with it. It can also be used more generically for other addictive behaviours.
What it is: sex addiction is generally related to an addiction to sex related consumerism, such as porn, adult theatre, prostitutes, but can also include serial one night stands and adultery. Basically whenever a a sexual behaviour starts to impact someone's life or relationships in a negatively it can be signs of a sex addiction.
The basic steps are:
imagine a worst case scenario to motivate self into action to avoid it. So that the pain of doing the work is less than the pain of this scenario.
Recognize that you are not your thoughts and that there are tulpa (subpersonalities) which are motivating the addictive behaviour.
Turn on the lights to recognize the tulpa for who they are.
Realize that fantasizing about improbable scenarios is taking one away from the present moment, and thus robbing you of the chance of true intimacy.
He also gives various techniques like the 'red light guy' basically programming a tulpa to avoid being triggered by various things into a behaviour that will later result in guilty feelings.

Unfortunately he never explains what intimacy is. Most of the book is aimed at avoiding objectifying women other than your wife. But it doesn't talk about not objectifying your wife. But I guess for enough people it will still be an improvement.

I'll read a book on emotional intimacy next to round it out.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1...

[Joey Rasmussen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Went into this not realizing it wasn’t written from a Christian perspective but I really liked it, and honestly really appreciated the perspective it did come from. Just seeing how even through a secular lens, sexual addiction is seen as a huge problem as well was eye opening for me. Just speaks to how devastating the effects of it are and it definitely points to the hope Christ brings in freedom. The stories in this book were crazy and will stick with me and help me in this battle. There are plenty of good exercises and helpful techniques that I will be implementing from this book and will for sure be referencing it. Loved in the last chapter too about how he said the most important principle in recovering from sexual addiction is being able to pass on the path to recovery to others.

[Muhereza · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alot of information on how to overcome sexual compulsions. Every page in George's book is loaded with tools, techniques and insights.
George himself according to the book was an addict who overcame and made a world changing business to help others with the same sexual addictions that plagued him before.
He uses a combination of proven psychological science and spirituality to help his readers examine the cause of their addictions and how to overcome it and build healthy, fulfilling and meaningful relationships.
The book is both practical and easy to read. I like to call it my sexual addiction escape Manual.
Whenever i feel challenged, I go back and read the book.

[XCO · Rating 4 out of 5]

الاباحية امرها جلل في زماننا هذا وخصيصا جيل الشباب الكتاب قدم حلول وطرق يراها الكاتب بنظره عملية لدرجة كبيرة وبحكم خبرته وسلط الضوء ع الخيال والهاجس وطرق التعامل معها لكن افضل ما كشفه الكاتب:
ان التصورات الهوية الجنسية وميل الشخص الجنسي وتحوله من فطرته السويه الى الغير السوية يكون مسببه شيء واحد ومؤثر بشكل كبير لاختلاله وهو اطلاع وإدمان الشخص ع مقاطع الاباحية وهذا رد عن حال الغرب الان وتحولات الجنسية التي تحدث بين ابنائهم وزعمهم ان الانسان يولد هكذا مضطرب الهوية ورد ايضا ع من لا يرى اي اثر بليغ بمشاهدة الاباحية الكاتب يؤثر ان اثر الاباحية عميق ومعقد لا ع المستوى العقلي النفسي والبدني ويرد ايضا ع من يحاولون نشر الاباحية ويوجهه صيحة نداء لكل الناس انصح فيه 👍🏻

[Latasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is more of an integrated sexual addiction “guide” so there are a lot of tools that may or may not work for people, depending on the severity and “focus” of their addiction. This was also less evidence-based and more of the therapist’s experience with patients. Not bad necessarily, I just prefer using sources with research for my writing (intent of reading this book). Overall, more entertaining and personable than other books on the topic.

[Isaac]

“If someone hurt you or scared you when you were a child, even many years later you may have a tendency to isolate, which leads to unstructured time. If your parents proved untrustworthy, or you were beaten, yelled at, or sexually abused, it’s likely you tended to isolate. Isolation leads to addiction. People like connection. If we are forced by circumstances (including trauma), we may isolate… This is because it feels safer and easier not to connect with a real person.”

[Cbailey0 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing and powerful

This was an amazing and powerful book. This book gives you very easy techniques to break the cycle! This is the best self help type of book I've ever read! It has very relevant stories and exercises that could help a lot of people struggling sexual addiction. I highly recommend this book for all to learn more about it or use it to help break the cycle!

[Edgar Figueredo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very Good Book

Thats a good book, with interesting tools (easy to remember) and powerful testimonies. I recommend sincerely. I think a lot of man are o were a sex addict in a one way or another, so this book is usefull in any case, because it improve you to be a better person and be careful with your life

[Ken Kugler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life changing choices here if you are ready for it! The last couple of weeks has set me free!

Buckle up people and turn off the television and computer and ask yourself what else could I be doing right now instead of what my addict is telling me to do!

[Timothy Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am currently trying to fix my addiction problems. I started reading this book with hopes of understanding what is going on. It has helped me to realize some of my problems and gives tools to cope with them. If you are going through a sex addiction I recommend you reading this book.

[Rex Stone]

Try this

First read the whole thing. I at first got turned off by some of the silly almost unrealistic stories and thought it was a bit stupid. But, the techniques of how to build a defense against sexual compulsion is sound and they can work