“An author in his book must be like God in the universe, present everywhere and visible nowhere.”-Gustave Flaubert
I’ve recently found myself drawn to several wonderful books such as “My Struggle” by Karl Ove Knausgaard and “Ways of Going Home” by Alejandro Zambra which examine how their life experiences influence their fiction.
I thought about this again as I was reading John McGahern’s memoir of his childhood growing up in rural Ireland. For those unfamiliar with McGahern’s work, (and if so by all means remedy this as soon as possible) his novels are often populated with kind female characters doing the best they can with bad situations, children doing the same, and tyrannical, often violent fathers who rule their homes with emotional distance and iron fists. Reading his fiction, I am often struck by the authenticity of these men and women he writes about and marvel at his ability to bring the compassion, brutality, and range of human emotion to the page.
Reading this memoir, it’s clear the author did not have far to travel for his inspiration.
Here is the kind mother who tries to protect her children as best she can until death takes her away in her early 40’s. McGahern’s love for his mother is all encompassing and unconditional and is best described by this beautiful exchange between them:
"When she asked me, as she often did, "Who do you love most of all?" I would answer readily and truthfully, "You, Mother," and despite her pleasure, she would correct me.
"You know that's not right, though it makes me glad."
"I love God most of all."
"And after God?"
"Mary, my mother in heaven."
"And after Mary?”
"You, Mother."
"You know that's not right either."
"I love my earthly father and mother equally."
The part of the dream that did not include my father must have been mine alone."
There is however, also his father. Prone to sudden and violent mood swings who shifted from easy smiles to vicious beatings at any moment. Like most of the people in McGahern’s life, his father was complicated. After the passing of his wife, he was left to care for 7 children on his own. He did this in large part with emotional distance (he spent a remarkable time away from his family while his wife was alive and no time with as she was dying during the last month of her life) and violence, and yet perhaps even McGahern wouldn’t dispute that he sincerely wanted to keep the family together as best he could.
Finally there is the child in so many of McGahern’s novels, which we see is the author himself trying to comes to terms with the loss of a nurturing mother while navigating the landmines of living with an abusive father.
It’s all here. Stripped of the veneer of fiction that allows the reader to view painful things behind a wall that assures us that at least it isn’t real, never acknowledging that it is in fact far more real than we may be comfortable with.
I don’t think after finishing this memoir I will be able to ever read a McGahern novel the same way again. I am not convinced that this is necessarily a bad thing. I can now enter into his worlds in sense, together in a kind of solidarity with him. Wince when he winces, raise my arms to deflect a blow from his father when he does, bask in the occasional glory or moment of peace that he does. Be it fiction or memoir, McGahern was an extraordinarily talented writer who had Flaubert’s gift of being present everywhere, visible nowhere.