The Cynic's Dictionary

by Aubrey Malone

Wickedly funny, this collection of acerbic definitions features quotes from a range of renowned cynics who tell it like it really is. The likes of Ambrose Bierce, Mae West, and W.C. Fields are represented in this entertaining, no-holds-barred alternative dictionary.

Genres: Reference, Nonfiction

320 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1998

About the author

Born in the west of Ireland, Aubrey Malone was educated at University College, Dublin, graduating with a BA in English and philosophy. He did an M.A. in English, majoring in the literary style of Ernest Hemingway. He went on to write a biography of Hemingway for Robson Books in 1999. For ten years he was a teacher, before becoming a freelance journalist with various newspapers and magazines. He has written over fifty books, including the best-selling The Cynic's Dictionary (Prion). He mainly works in the non-fiction area but he has published two novels and a few collections of poetry and short stories. He has been writing professionally about the cinema since 1973.
His first book, Hollyweird (Michael O’Mara, 1994), focused on the eccentricities of film stars. He followed that up with two books on movies made in Ireland, Michael Collins and Ryan’s Daughter (GLI, both 1996). In 1997 he wrote The Rise and Fall and Rise of Elvis Presley (Leopold Publishing). Three years later he wrote I Was a Fugitive from a Hollywood Film Factory, subsequently reissued as Hollywood Trivia (Prion, 2004).
In 2011 he wrote Censoring Hollywood (McFarland), a book about the history of film censorship. The Defiant One, a biography of Tony Curtis (also McFarland) followed in 2013. In the same year he wrote Maureen O’Hara: A Biography for the University of Kentucky Press. McFarland also published Hollywood’s Second Sex, Malone’s history of the mistreatment of women in movies from 1900 to 1999, in 2016. ABC-CLIO published his study of spirituality in films, Sacred Profanity.
Writing Under the Influence, a study of the relationship between alcohol and literature for thirteen American authors, was published by McFarland in 2017. In 2018 he published a book about people who unfairly failed to win Oscars, And the Loser Is (Vernon Press). That year he also published The Elvis Diaries (One Media), a work of creative fiction based on fact. He is currently working on a biography of Sidney Lumet and an encyclopedia of LGBTQ films.

Reviews

[Jillian · Rating 3 out of 5]

I recently rediscovered this book in a stack of belongings from my parents' house. I believe I bought it in high school because I fancied myself a cynic (turns out I was just a teenager).

Is the formatting gimmick of this book more interesting than just having the quotes in their original form (or skipping straight to Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary instead)? I'm not sure. The book is also two decades old at this point, and many of the quotes are considerably older than that, so some feel decidedly outdated or cringey now. But there are definitely a number of entertaining bits as well. A few I enjoyed:

Advice: What we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't. - Erica Jong

Bore: A fellow who can change the subject back to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours. - Laurence Peter

Certainty: Being mistaken at the top of one's voice. - Ambrose Bierce

Circumlocution: A literary trick whereby the writer who has nothing to say breaks it gently to the reader. - Ambrose Bierce

Cynic: Someone who, when he smells flowers, looks for a coffin. - H.L. Mencken (*Sidenote: Why is this quote on the back cover but not in the actual dictionary?)

History: A fable agreed upon. – Napoleon

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. – H.L. Mencken

Suburbia: Where developers bulldoze trees, and then name the streets after them. – Bill Vaughan

Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due. – Hal Roach

Writer: Someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people. – Thomas Mann

[Lynn0511]

One of my favorite go-to books. It's a great coffee table/discussion book when you have company over and a nice ice-breaker @ a party. I love giving this as a gift. I've thoroughly enjoyed it for over 15 years. My addition? FAMILY: The title given to a clan of people you're compelled, but forbidden to choke. And since I'm a performing artist, one of my favorites from the book: AUDIENCE: Coughing bastards

[Tom Bryant · Rating 4 out of 5]

This isn't so much a dictionary as it is a book of quotes organized topically. It's a great bathroom book, and not something you would normally read cover to cover. Funny, and yet, thought provoking, and definitely has something in it to offend everyone to a certain extent. Contains quotes by cynical wits such as George Carlin, Dorothy Parker, and granddaddy of them all, H.L. Mencken.

[Douglas Wilson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun.

[Tara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hehe, loved it.

I'm not particually quick-witted myself, but it's great to read the wit of others.

[Mengqi Wang · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is less than mediocrity.
A tiny proportion of the quotes I would call cynic in it.