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Rare Mary Tyler MOORE 1st edit/1st print After All First Edition 1995 [Hardcover] MOORE, Mary Tyler [Hardcover] MOORE, Mary Tyler
This rare and vintage book is a perfect addition to any bibliophile's collection
Hardcover
First published January 1, 1995
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About the author
Mary Tyler Moore
13 books39 followersMary Tyler Moore was an Academy Award-nominated and seven-time Emmy Award-winning American actress and comedian, primarily known for her roles in sitcoms and television.
Moore is arguably best known for The Mary Tyler Moore Show (1970–1977), in which she starred as Mary Richards, a 30-something single woman who worked as a news producer at WJM-TV in Minneapolis, and for her early role as Laura Petrie, wife of television comedy writer Rob Petrie (played by Dick Van Dyke) on The Dick Van Dyke Show (1961–1966). Moore played leading roles in two of the most fondly remembered classic comedy series, making a tremendous impact on television over two decades.
She also appeared in various films over the years. Her best-remembered performance came in 1980's Ordinary People, which garnered her an Oscar nomination for a role that was the polar opposite of the characters viewers had become accustomed to seeing her portray on television. She has also been active in charity work and various political causes, particularly animals and diabetes rights.
Moore is arguably best known for The Mary Tyler Moore Show (1970–1977), in which she starred as Mary Richards, a 30-something single woman who worked as a news producer at WJM-TV in Minneapolis, and for her early role as Laura Petrie, wife of television comedy writer Rob Petrie (played by Dick Van Dyke) on The Dick Van Dyke Show (1961–1966). Moore played leading roles in two of the most fondly remembered classic comedy series, making a tremendous impact on television over two decades.
She also appeared in various films over the years. Her best-remembered performance came in 1980's Ordinary People, which garnered her an Oscar nomination for a role that was the polar opposite of the characters viewers had become accustomed to seeing her portray on television. She has also been active in charity work and various political causes, particularly animals and diabetes rights.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 106 reviews
August 31, 2020
Aug 31, Noon ~~ Review asap.
Aug 31, 2pm ~~ Every woman of a certain age grew up wanting to be like Mary Tyler Moore. When I first 'met' her I was just a little girl watching The Dick Van Dyke Show. My mother said once that I would look like her when I grew up. I didn't think so. I don't know how Mother could think that my little buck-toothed blonde person could end up looking like dark-haired dark-eyed Mary. And time proved me right. I don't look at all like MTM! lol
Anyway, later on in life the Mary Tyler Moore show arrived. There she was, a single career woman with a nifty apartment that I wanted worse than Rhoda did. I loved that show. I don't know if I was aware of thinking of MTM as a role model, but I sure wanted to be out and independent the way she was.
But of course Mary was a character being played, that was not the real Mary Tyler Moore. And if you want to keep your old vision of Mary, don't read this book. But if you want to learn a few things you did not know about her, by all means dive right in.
Just be prepared for what felt to me like a duty book. You know, the type a person writes because they think they should. There were too many places where it must have been too painful for MTM to dig deeper and make this book more alive. Lots of short chapters that shared things we might have never guessed about our author (major insecurities, fear of being alone, etc etc) but she herself always seemed completely removed from her own story. I ended up knowing more about her, but not knowing her any more than I did before.
I have now read the bios or autobios of nearly all the major cast members of The Dick Van Dyke Show. This interest began when I read The Official Dick Van Dyke Show book and then happened to see DVD's autobiography, which led to Rose Marie's, and now here we are with MTM. I am just missing Morey Amsterdam's life story, which of course gives me an excuse to keep prowling the pages of my favorite online used book seller!
Aug 31, 2pm ~~ Every woman of a certain age grew up wanting to be like Mary Tyler Moore. When I first 'met' her I was just a little girl watching The Dick Van Dyke Show. My mother said once that I would look like her when I grew up. I didn't think so. I don't know how Mother could think that my little buck-toothed blonde person could end up looking like dark-haired dark-eyed Mary. And time proved me right. I don't look at all like MTM! lol
Anyway, later on in life the Mary Tyler Moore show arrived. There she was, a single career woman with a nifty apartment that I wanted worse than Rhoda did. I loved that show. I don't know if I was aware of thinking of MTM as a role model, but I sure wanted to be out and independent the way she was.
But of course Mary was a character being played, that was not the real Mary Tyler Moore. And if you want to keep your old vision of Mary, don't read this book. But if you want to learn a few things you did not know about her, by all means dive right in.
Just be prepared for what felt to me like a duty book. You know, the type a person writes because they think they should. There were too many places where it must have been too painful for MTM to dig deeper and make this book more alive. Lots of short chapters that shared things we might have never guessed about our author (major insecurities, fear of being alone, etc etc) but she herself always seemed completely removed from her own story. I ended up knowing more about her, but not knowing her any more than I did before.
I have now read the bios or autobios of nearly all the major cast members of The Dick Van Dyke Show. This interest began when I read The Official Dick Van Dyke Show book and then happened to see DVD's autobiography, which led to Rose Marie's, and now here we are with MTM. I am just missing Morey Amsterdam's life story, which of course gives me an excuse to keep prowling the pages of my favorite online used book seller!
August 22, 2023
I recently watched the Being Mary Tyler Moore documentary on HBO. I knew that she was an inspiration for many women, but I never fully realized to what extent she was a trailblazer. I didn't know that her wearing pants on The Dick Van Dyke Show was the first time a women ever wore them on television. And, Mary insisted on it. Or that she was the first woman to create her own production company. Pretty impressive for the times. But, what I like about Mary is her open honesty about everything. A difficult life was hidden behind her beautiful smile. The prologue is quite genius and the perfect doorway into her life story. Her writing style is easy and I found myself unable to put my kindle down.
June 11, 2019
This is about the life of the late Mary Tyler Moore before and after her success as the co-star of the dick van dyke show, her life as a tv and movie actress, and mother to her only son until his tragic death, her successes and disappointments but above all her life as it was from her viewpoint
February 11, 2014
I enjoyed this book. A few months ago I was perusing the DVD selection at the library and ended up bringing home season 1 of the Mary Tyler Moore Show. Having piqued my curiosity of this beautiful, charismatic woman, I sought out her autobiography. Moore took a candid approach in the telling of her life story, choosing to share not only her successes and triumphs, but also her heartaches and regrets as well. It was fascinating to me. For a woman who craved acceptance and approval, particularly from her parents, she was and continues to be well-loved and admired by so many people. I appreciated the accounts of overcoming alcohol and tobacco; that alone is evidence of the strength of her character. I am grateful to know that she has found peace, happiness, and security in her marriage and lifestyle in her later years.
I particularly found the following quote quite meaningful:
"In those days I was, like most working mothers, eager to join the movement and proclaim our right and our need to express ourselves, to be fulfilled and happy knowing that every ounce of our creativity was being used. And that it was possible also to raise children at the same time.
"I no longer believe that. I think there is something in nature that says women should work if they can, but once they commit to bringing life into the world that should be the first priority. When a child is raised in a day-care center, it is not the same thing. Many mothers have to work and there is no choice. But it's not the best beginning for children. I am surprised to find myself writing this. In my own case, it wasn't just a matter of not enough hours in the day to work and also to be with my child, it was complicated by an inability to enjoy my child, to understand what a child wants and needs."
I particularly found the following quote quite meaningful:
"In those days I was, like most working mothers, eager to join the movement and proclaim our right and our need to express ourselves, to be fulfilled and happy knowing that every ounce of our creativity was being used. And that it was possible also to raise children at the same time.
"I no longer believe that. I think there is something in nature that says women should work if they can, but once they commit to bringing life into the world that should be the first priority. When a child is raised in a day-care center, it is not the same thing. Many mothers have to work and there is no choice. But it's not the best beginning for children. I am surprised to find myself writing this. In my own case, it wasn't just a matter of not enough hours in the day to work and also to be with my child, it was complicated by an inability to enjoy my child, to understand what a child wants and needs."
February 6, 2017
I wanted to read this after learning of the death of Mary Tyler Moore. I wish she had gone into more detail about some of the more fascinating experiences she divulged in the book. She started out giving lots of detail of her "growing up" years, but then seemed to "race" through her later years.
October 6, 2017
I'd no idea she was this fascinating in private life, nor so shockingly, and bravely honest, ethical, and kind-hearted. She wrote this herself, with no ghostwriter, and it's evident she could've done just about anything she set her mind to, because it's very well written; with depth, insight, humour, and unfailing honesty about some horrendous experiences. It closes with one of the most beautiful passages I've ever read, about an albino horse with blue eyes, not deemed purebred, nor worthy of any status. But I won't spoil it; you have to read it yourself. It was like the perfect bow, on the most beautiful gift. I was enthralled throughout, and was sad when I'd finished reading it.
The last chapter is prefaced with this:
“For the animal shall not be measured by man. In a world older and more complete than ours, they move finished and complete, gifted with the extension of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren, they are not underlings: they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendour and travail of the earth.”
― Henry Beston, The Outermost House: A Year of Life On The Great Beach of Cape Cod
The last chapter is prefaced with this:
“For the animal shall not be measured by man. In a world older and more complete than ours, they move finished and complete, gifted with the extension of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren, they are not underlings: they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendour and travail of the earth.”
― Henry Beston, The Outermost House: A Year of Life On The Great Beach of Cape Cod
December 19, 2015
Laura Petrie and Mary Richards were very likable characters. Mary Tyler Moore--not so much. This book was depressing.
June 23, 2014
What an incredibly honest and reflective book. It’s very well written and penned without a professional ghost writer, which makes it all the more impressive. I’ve always had a deep admiration for Mary Tyler Moore and loved her as Laura Petrie and would, to this day, prefer to watch Dick Van Dyke rerun to almost any new show. And as with probably every single woman who came of age in the 1970s I wanted to be Mary Richards. The private life and pain of Mary Tyler Moore is sketched here with refreshing clarity without, it seems, any particular regard to her image or to seek sympathy. Her son’s and sibling’s deaths and the bleakness of her early marriages and her additions are told in such a classy, perceptive and unvarnished way, not a hint of heightened drama. She reveals the less than perfect and earthy side of herself and I didn’t believe it possible but I admire her all the more.
July 10, 2017
This book kept my attention, but I confess I was disappointed sometimes. No, I didn't expect Mary to be perfect, but I also didn't expect her to acknowledge that she never had time for her son while he was growing up. She indicated that she wouldn't have an affair with Dick Cavett because he was too short, never appearing to consider that maybe he didn't want to have an affair with her. She seemed to always need a man in her life, and she threw a lot of tantrums.
On facing pages, she talked about spending $72,500 on a bed and not having the money to make a "generous" contribution to the Pope. I found the juxtaposition amusing.
And surely there must have been some proofreader or editor who knows how to spell Gene Kelly's last name. :(
On facing pages, she talked about spending $72,500 on a bed and not having the money to make a "generous" contribution to the Pope. I found the juxtaposition amusing.
And surely there must have been some proofreader or editor who knows how to spell Gene Kelly's last name. :(
April 22, 2013
This the worst book I have ever read. I thought based on her comedic skills that it would be uplifting. The tone was so negative, everyone else was to blame. I stopped reading before Richie's suicide, and then leafed through to the end.
February 26, 2017
An astonishingly well-written memoir (sans ghostwriter) that is sharply witty and scorchingly candid. Perhaps the best Hollywood memoir that I have ever read.
Read
September 14, 2025- What she doesn't say is more telling that what she does say, like it's very clear there are a lot of things she never fully processed in her life, nowhere more telling than how she talks about her son's death
- Very weird to see other reviews talk about how unlikeable she seems? she's just normal!
- Funny how increasingly uninterested she is in writing this book as it goes on, to the point where it's basically just bullet points and then ends with "I bought a horse!"
- Very weird to see other reviews talk about how unlikeable she seems? she's just normal!
- Funny how increasingly uninterested she is in writing this book as it goes on, to the point where it's basically just bullet points and then ends with "I bought a horse!"
July 8, 2012
First of all, I very rarely write an actual review to accompany the books I have read--specifically, on this site, I believe I have only done it once--but this autobiography calls for the special occasion to write one.
I first read Mary Tyler Moore's autobiography a few years ago and recently re-read it. I tore through it in two days (it would have been one day had I not had homework assignments to complete). There are very few books, of any genre, that have truly stuck with me, but this is one of them.
I thoroughly enjoy the writing style. Rather than being presented in a straight-and-narrow chronological order, the memories and writings expressed in each chapter read like a journal: that's how connected I, as the reader, felt to Mrs. Moore.
As a major fan of the classic television genre (a trait of my personality that has always set me apart from my peers, as I am only 23, but grew up watching reruns when Nick-At-Nite was all about the carefree, innocent, shows of the '60s), I have always adored Mary Tyler Moore--for her acting skills and for all of her accomplishments (the latter which continues to inspire me to no end). An honest glimpse into the obstacles and challenges she has faced in life, coupled with the heartbreaking choices she made to cope with such trying times have taught me crucial life lessons that I, thankfully, will never have to experience myself after reading about, as well as witnessing, the irreparable damage and regrets that come with the territory (from this novel, as well as my past experiences with an alcoholic grandmother, grandfather, and uncles).
I could write about several themes I find most inspiring, and hopeful, throughout this book, but you should experience this ride for yourself. Re-reading it now, as a graduate student studying professional counseling, it has added even more value to my life. And, really, isn't that the point of life? To make the path a little easier for those traveling behind you. Regardless of your career--if you happen to be a well-known celebrity or an "average" person--we really are all the same and it is our moral obligation to each other to add value to each, and every life, possible. I like to believe this particular autobiography does that beautifully. Thank God for open, honest, people such as Mary Tyler Moore, who have the courage to be completely open (scars and all) for the benefit of others.
I first read Mary Tyler Moore's autobiography a few years ago and recently re-read it. I tore through it in two days (it would have been one day had I not had homework assignments to complete). There are very few books, of any genre, that have truly stuck with me, but this is one of them.
I thoroughly enjoy the writing style. Rather than being presented in a straight-and-narrow chronological order, the memories and writings expressed in each chapter read like a journal: that's how connected I, as the reader, felt to Mrs. Moore.
As a major fan of the classic television genre (a trait of my personality that has always set me apart from my peers, as I am only 23, but grew up watching reruns when Nick-At-Nite was all about the carefree, innocent, shows of the '60s), I have always adored Mary Tyler Moore--for her acting skills and for all of her accomplishments (the latter which continues to inspire me to no end). An honest glimpse into the obstacles and challenges she has faced in life, coupled with the heartbreaking choices she made to cope with such trying times have taught me crucial life lessons that I, thankfully, will never have to experience myself after reading about, as well as witnessing, the irreparable damage and regrets that come with the territory (from this novel, as well as my past experiences with an alcoholic grandmother, grandfather, and uncles).
I could write about several themes I find most inspiring, and hopeful, throughout this book, but you should experience this ride for yourself. Re-reading it now, as a graduate student studying professional counseling, it has added even more value to my life. And, really, isn't that the point of life? To make the path a little easier for those traveling behind you. Regardless of your career--if you happen to be a well-known celebrity or an "average" person--we really are all the same and it is our moral obligation to each other to add value to each, and every life, possible. I like to believe this particular autobiography does that beautifully. Thank God for open, honest, people such as Mary Tyler Moore, who have the courage to be completely open (scars and all) for the benefit of others.
July 10, 2014
I started out mostly liking Mary Tyler Moore. She had a rough childhood with alcoholic, cold parents, so she was essentially neglected. Daddy issues, molested, the usual Hollywood story. Then I really didn't like her, but she got better after rehab.
And this quote:
"In those days I was, like most working mothers, eager to join the movement and proclaim our right and our need to express ourselves, to be fulfilled and happy knowing that every ounce of our creativity was being used. And that it was possible also to raise children at the same time.
"I no longer believe that. I think there is something in nature that says women should work if they can, but once they commit to bringing life into the world that should be the first priority. When a child is raised in a day-care center, it is not the same thing. Many mothers have to work and there is no choice. But it's not the best beginning for children. I am surprised to find myself writing this. In my own case, it wasn't just a matter of not enough hours in the day to work and also to be with my child, it was complicated by an inability to enjoy my child, to understand what a child wants and needs."
So she seems to say that working mothers are not good parents. I argue that being so dedicated to a career to the point of neglecting the child is bad parenting. I greatly admire Moore's career and how she changed TV, but if she wants to hand out parenting advice, she needs to admit she was a terrible mother. And that's not her fault, she had terrible parents.
This rubbed me the wrong way. There is a balance between working and parenting, and work should take the backseat to parenting and family life.
And this quote:
"In those days I was, like most working mothers, eager to join the movement and proclaim our right and our need to express ourselves, to be fulfilled and happy knowing that every ounce of our creativity was being used. And that it was possible also to raise children at the same time.
"I no longer believe that. I think there is something in nature that says women should work if they can, but once they commit to bringing life into the world that should be the first priority. When a child is raised in a day-care center, it is not the same thing. Many mothers have to work and there is no choice. But it's not the best beginning for children. I am surprised to find myself writing this. In my own case, it wasn't just a matter of not enough hours in the day to work and also to be with my child, it was complicated by an inability to enjoy my child, to understand what a child wants and needs."
So she seems to say that working mothers are not good parents. I argue that being so dedicated to a career to the point of neglecting the child is bad parenting. I greatly admire Moore's career and how she changed TV, but if she wants to hand out parenting advice, she needs to admit she was a terrible mother. And that's not her fault, she had terrible parents.
This rubbed me the wrong way. There is a balance between working and parenting, and work should take the backseat to parenting and family life.
June 24, 2021
Mary Tyler Moore was a great dramatic actor and I wish she could have taken on more roles where she could shine, but she was often cast as the dingbat actress. Her personal life was full of tragic loss, alcoholism, infidelity, and a 3-pack-a -day habit. As the beginning of the book explains, she really was nothing like Mary Richards or Laura Petrie, and she was worried about letting the world know that she was not a very likable person at times. I did appreciate how much courage it took to let the world know she was not the "goody two shoes" everyone thought she was, but I'm afraid her fear was well founded, as I am not sure I found her very likable.
February 4, 2012
A book of very short chapters--like a journal of short entries she wrote about memories and anecdotes. She could have used a co-writer to give it a little more polish and flow. I have to say that she doesn't come off as a very likeable person--self-centered and callous was the impression I got. It did sound like her parents were very difficult--maybe if she delved a little more into her relationship with them a little more sympathy could have been built up.
July 31, 2015
An interesting read, and it's the second time I've read this. There are a lot of jumping around and coming back, it's not so much a biography as little memories in such. Sometimes I felt things weren't explained and we the readers were supposed to know about it, like her being friends with Betty White. It just came out of no where that she was.
March 10, 2013
I really liked this book. A good insight into a person's life that you would assume to be perfect. This book proves otherwise, though. She is still an amazing person...just not perfect! I think it makes her even more likeable. I enjoyed getting to hear about all of her treks through the show business world. Very entertaining.
Read
July 31, 200892M
July 4, 2009
I am enjoying reading about the "other' side of Mary Tyler Moore and the issues she struggled with as she approached adulthood.
Interesting and a little different than what I usually read.
Interesting and a little different than what I usually read.
April 24, 2016
A classy lady who's weathered tragedy and success with inimitable grace.
July 11, 2016
Fascinating memoir by a talented actress/entertainer with her share of personal demons.
December 7, 2021
I recently finished watching the entire run of The Mary Tyler Moore Show on Hulu (See Television Series Review) and decided it was time to also read these two memoirs. Although these books and stories are very different, I highly recommend them both.
As gentle readers of Arts Journal! know by now, one thing I loathe about memoirs is the opening chapters about the subject’s childhood- I’ll never have the time back I spent reading about Faye Dunaway’s adolescence on the farm. Do actors not read each other’s biographies and notice that absolutely everyone talks about getting their first non-speaking acting role in their grade school’s production of Camelot/Bye Bye Birdie/Grease? Who cares unless you went to grade school with Tom Cruise and you did gay stuff with him!
Mary spends a little more time on her childhood in the traditional bio sense, but since she was being raised by a distant father and an alcoholic mother, I found these chapters very interesting. Valarie does more of a brief overview of her preteen years and quickly gets to her early days on Broadway, and can start dropping names because she danced in “Wildcat,” starring Lucille Ball.
Mary’s book is the more serious of the two when it comes to tone. This comes as no surprise as she is discussing a father whom she never connected to, a mother who was a drunk, the loss of her own child, two failed marriages, and her own battle with nicotine and alcohol addiction. Not a lot of room for laughs. I was also a little disappointed that Mary did not spend a few more chapters discussing her show.
Valarie’s book is much more light-hearted and it’s difficult not to hear Rhoda’s voice doing her schick in your head while reading. Valarie never misses a chance to tell you about her brief encounters with Jim Morrison, Paul Newman, or Natalie Wood, to name just a few. I couldn’t get enough of her Broadway stories, whether they were from her early days as she tried to break into the business or her post-Rhoda days when she worked there consistently.
While reading both books it’s clear that these ladies lived amazing lives and both maintained positive outlooks through the difficult times, and although they were taken too soon, they left us two amazing TV series, and two great memoirs.
As gentle readers of Arts Journal! know by now, one thing I loathe about memoirs is the opening chapters about the subject’s childhood- I’ll never have the time back I spent reading about Faye Dunaway’s adolescence on the farm. Do actors not read each other’s biographies and notice that absolutely everyone talks about getting their first non-speaking acting role in their grade school’s production of Camelot/Bye Bye Birdie/Grease? Who cares unless you went to grade school with Tom Cruise and you did gay stuff with him!
Mary spends a little more time on her childhood in the traditional bio sense, but since she was being raised by a distant father and an alcoholic mother, I found these chapters very interesting. Valarie does more of a brief overview of her preteen years and quickly gets to her early days on Broadway, and can start dropping names because she danced in “Wildcat,” starring Lucille Ball.
Mary’s book is the more serious of the two when it comes to tone. This comes as no surprise as she is discussing a father whom she never connected to, a mother who was a drunk, the loss of her own child, two failed marriages, and her own battle with nicotine and alcohol addiction. Not a lot of room for laughs. I was also a little disappointed that Mary did not spend a few more chapters discussing her show.
Valarie’s book is much more light-hearted and it’s difficult not to hear Rhoda’s voice doing her schick in your head while reading. Valarie never misses a chance to tell you about her brief encounters with Jim Morrison, Paul Newman, or Natalie Wood, to name just a few. I couldn’t get enough of her Broadway stories, whether they were from her early days as she tried to break into the business or her post-Rhoda days when she worked there consistently.
While reading both books it’s clear that these ladies lived amazing lives and both maintained positive outlooks through the difficult times, and although they were taken too soon, they left us two amazing TV series, and two great memoirs.
April 9, 2021
Only got through a quarter of the book. Another whiny, self-centered celebrity autobiography. I agree Mary's parents were awful parents. Why then does she continue seeking her father's approval into her 50s or 60s (when this book is written)? Some therapist should have told her to distance herself and not worry about it. And while her grandma showed her the love she craved, the woman was quite neurotic, too, which didn't help. Never got to the part involving Mary's relationship with her son, though from the little I could glean in the first part of the book, she was just as remote as her own parents and did no better. I couldn't read any further. Life's too short.
September 25, 2024
Four stars, not necessarily for the writing style but for the vulnerability and nostalgia. Mary Tyler Moore, thanks to my mom playing reruns, was a large part of my childhood screen time. I loved MTM on everything I watched, of course mostly the Dick Van Dyke show and The Mary Tyler Moore show, and I love her even more after reading her book and seeing all sides of her. She was a classy lady and ahead of her time. Rest in peace Mary and thanks for the entertainment.
January 4, 2017
Written by Moore back in 1995 when she was 59, this is her life story, touching on her many professional accomplishments and highlights and lowlights on her personal life. A good read for fans--I learned lots of interesting factoids:
• In her book, she outs herself as brooding, paranoid, perfectionistic, and pessimistic. Say it ain’t so, Mair! A sample quote about a childhood dance recital: “I remember thinking that my job was to take a group of people who really didn’t like me, and show them if I couldn’t win them over at least I’d remain upright and smiling when the music ended. There was no pleasure in it—just the challenge.... I’ve brought that trait with me throughout life.”
• I admit I raced through her Catholic upbringing with her cold/alcoholic parents (luckily she had a loving aunt and grandmother), eager to get to her big break being cast as Laura Petrie at age 25 in 1961. She’d already been a wife and mother for 5 years at that point!
• For their show about a young New Rochelle couple with a comedy writer husband, the producers first considered Eileen Brennan for the role of Laura, with Rob Reiner to play Rob Petrie. (I think of sultry Brennan in “The Sting,” and can’t imagine her as perky Laura!)
• Quote: “It’s hard to get close to Dick Van Dyke. He will give you his opinions and articulate them with candor and charm but only a few people have been able to penetrate the facade.... I don’t know the man much better than I did that first year.”
• Elvis was quoted as saying he slept with all his leading ladies “but one.” MTM writes, “I don’t want to bust anyone’s cover, but I know who the ‘one’ is.”
• For The MTM Show, Gavin McLeod was seriously considered for the Lou Grant part.
• Valerie Harper was deemed too beautiful to be Rhoda (but they couldn’t deny her that iconic role).
• Due to negative test results on The MTM Show pilot in 1970, CBS tried to cancel the show before ever broadcasting it.
• A miscarried baby with second husband Grant Tinker (who already had 4 children from a previous marriage) in her mid-thirties triggered MTM’s Type 1 diabetes. Insulin injections ever since, and she’s become a diabetes spokesperson.
• During the 1970s, she became an “acute alcoholic,” arguing every night during the cocktail hour(s) before dinner with her “distant” husband, Tinker.
• She didn’t want to end the MTM Show but all the staff writers were getting offers for their own series, and Tinker wanted to move on, too. The word went out it was her decision, but she says closing that show was a “crippling moment for me.”
• One late 1970s variety show she tried to launch after The MTM Show had the following amazing young cast: Michael Keaton, David Letterman, Swoosie Kurtz, and Dick Shawn. It only lasted 8 episodes.
• She had an on-set affair while making “Ordinary People,” but doesn’t name the high-profile man. She’s a bit bitter she lost the Oscar to Sissy Spacek.
• In 1978 her 20-year-younger sister died in her early 20s of a drug overdose.
• Two years later, her troubled son (same age as her sister), Richie Meeker, killed himself while handling a shotgun. She refuses to call it as suicide. She and Tinker split a year or two later.
• After her divorce, she tried to start life over by moving to New York (her home town) from L.A., and had to learn things like banking and doing her laundry, since things like that had always been done for her as a pampered Hollywood star and wife.
• Various affairs with unnamed guys. Considered initiating an affair with her friend Dick Cavett, but he was too short.
• The love of her life (at the writing of the book) is her very kind-sounding husband Robert Levine, an 18-year-younger NY cardiologist she met when she took her mother to the ER for a bronchial problem.
• At some point in her 50s, she hit bottom with her alcohol addiction and ended up at the Betty Ford Clinic for 5 weeks (one of the more interesting sections of the book). She says that was hard, but it was far more stressful to subsequently give up her lifelong cigarette habit.
• She admits to having plastic surgery (in her 50s), and here writes funnily about her button nose: “My mother said that when I was presented to her at birth she was concerned about what appeared to be the absence of a nose on my face—just a small bump with two holes in it, no bridge. So every time she held me, she gently pinched and shaped that area until it became a nose. To those who’ve always suspected I didn’t come by my nose naturally, it is true. I had a nose job and at a very early age!”
• In her book, she outs herself as brooding, paranoid, perfectionistic, and pessimistic. Say it ain’t so, Mair! A sample quote about a childhood dance recital: “I remember thinking that my job was to take a group of people who really didn’t like me, and show them if I couldn’t win them over at least I’d remain upright and smiling when the music ended. There was no pleasure in it—just the challenge.... I’ve brought that trait with me throughout life.”
• I admit I raced through her Catholic upbringing with her cold/alcoholic parents (luckily she had a loving aunt and grandmother), eager to get to her big break being cast as Laura Petrie at age 25 in 1961. She’d already been a wife and mother for 5 years at that point!
• For their show about a young New Rochelle couple with a comedy writer husband, the producers first considered Eileen Brennan for the role of Laura, with Rob Reiner to play Rob Petrie. (I think of sultry Brennan in “The Sting,” and can’t imagine her as perky Laura!)
• Quote: “It’s hard to get close to Dick Van Dyke. He will give you his opinions and articulate them with candor and charm but only a few people have been able to penetrate the facade.... I don’t know the man much better than I did that first year.”
• Elvis was quoted as saying he slept with all his leading ladies “but one.” MTM writes, “I don’t want to bust anyone’s cover, but I know who the ‘one’ is.”
• For The MTM Show, Gavin McLeod was seriously considered for the Lou Grant part.
• Valerie Harper was deemed too beautiful to be Rhoda (but they couldn’t deny her that iconic role).
• Due to negative test results on The MTM Show pilot in 1970, CBS tried to cancel the show before ever broadcasting it.
• A miscarried baby with second husband Grant Tinker (who already had 4 children from a previous marriage) in her mid-thirties triggered MTM’s Type 1 diabetes. Insulin injections ever since, and she’s become a diabetes spokesperson.
• During the 1970s, she became an “acute alcoholic,” arguing every night during the cocktail hour(s) before dinner with her “distant” husband, Tinker.
• She didn’t want to end the MTM Show but all the staff writers were getting offers for their own series, and Tinker wanted to move on, too. The word went out it was her decision, but she says closing that show was a “crippling moment for me.”
• One late 1970s variety show she tried to launch after The MTM Show had the following amazing young cast: Michael Keaton, David Letterman, Swoosie Kurtz, and Dick Shawn. It only lasted 8 episodes.
• She had an on-set affair while making “Ordinary People,” but doesn’t name the high-profile man. She’s a bit bitter she lost the Oscar to Sissy Spacek.
• In 1978 her 20-year-younger sister died in her early 20s of a drug overdose.
• Two years later, her troubled son (same age as her sister), Richie Meeker, killed himself while handling a shotgun. She refuses to call it as suicide. She and Tinker split a year or two later.
• After her divorce, she tried to start life over by moving to New York (her home town) from L.A., and had to learn things like banking and doing her laundry, since things like that had always been done for her as a pampered Hollywood star and wife.
• Various affairs with unnamed guys. Considered initiating an affair with her friend Dick Cavett, but he was too short.
• The love of her life (at the writing of the book) is her very kind-sounding husband Robert Levine, an 18-year-younger NY cardiologist she met when she took her mother to the ER for a bronchial problem.
• At some point in her 50s, she hit bottom with her alcohol addiction and ended up at the Betty Ford Clinic for 5 weeks (one of the more interesting sections of the book). She says that was hard, but it was far more stressful to subsequently give up her lifelong cigarette habit.
• She admits to having plastic surgery (in her 50s), and here writes funnily about her button nose: “My mother said that when I was presented to her at birth she was concerned about what appeared to be the absence of a nose on my face—just a small bump with two holes in it, no bridge. So every time she held me, she gently pinched and shaped that area until it became a nose. To those who’ve always suspected I didn’t come by my nose naturally, it is true. I had a nose job and at a very early age!”
January 8, 2021
If you really like the MTM of TV, you may be disappointed by this book. MTM herself believed that most people think she is basically Mary Richards, and she wants to make sure you know she is not. In fact, she seems to paint herself as a kind of polar opposite. She believed most people upon meeting her automatically like her (on the basis of her TV personas), but would reject her once they got to know her. That's really kind of her life story. It's a sad one. MTM's parents were emotionally and even physically detached from her as a child. Her mom was an alcoholic. She could never really be sure of their love or approval. Consequently, she seems to have got the message that she is only accepted when she entertains. I've read a few celebrity biographies this year, and they all seem to share some similar features. It appears that happy well-loved and well-adjusted people don't go into the entertainment industry. Or, at least, they aren't writing books about it. MTM seems to have spent the majority of her life, both personal and professional, seeking love, acceptance, and approval. It's hard to tell from the book because she seems to have such a negative view of herself, but I can't help but think she was more likable than she gives herself credit for. If she really is entirely unlike Mary Richards, then she truly was one of the most gifted actresses of our time, because she seemed to embody that role so effortlessly. I have always been a big fan of MTM. I loved the MTM Show - for the writing, for the prominence it gave to its female characters, to the support its male characters gave to its female characters - they were treated seriously, not stereotypically (for the time period), and for the sheer likability and credibility of the cast, outstanding performers all. I don't know what I expected from this book, but I did go away sad. MTM's journey was successful, but rather heart-breaking. She accomplished a tremendous amount for someone who suffered as she did from low self-esteem. She was a great lady who struggled internally (and, as a result, physically) more than was necessary. There was a lot of pain behind that infectious smile. All I can say is to let it be a cautionary tale: if you have children, while they're young don't make them work for your approval and love. Let them know these are solid unchanging facts. That way, maybe they won't spend their lives working for approval, never believing they're good enough.
July 8, 2023
I'm giving this autobiography four stars because it's a brave and surprising book from one of America's most beloved television actresses (and one of mine, of course). We all have a conception of who MTM is that is embedded deep in our memories—her sweetness, her perkiness, her optimism, her slightly wavering voice as she asserts herself when she must. There is some truth in that, but there's another side—one that is deeply insecure and unhappy, and even a little cold (more similar to the character she so memorably portrayed in Ordinary People). She had a childhood no one could envy, with a withholding father and an alcoholic mother. And, in truth, she spent years self-medicating through the use of alcohol and heavy smoking, two things that are hard to imagine when I think of her.
She does not bare all in this story—many of the people she writes about were still living at the time she wrote this in 1995, and some still are. But in pithy chapters, some humorous, some harsher, she tells her truth, including some of her most embarrassing moments, with unflinching honesty. Thus she is generous to her first and seconds husbands, and tells little about her third (and last). She admits that as a very young mother she neglected her son Richie for her career (even saying, "I brought little joy to the small amount of time I spent with Richie. Duty was the blanket in which I wrapped us both") while saying that she now believes "there's something in nature that women should work if they can, but once they commit to bringing life into the world that should be the first priority." In truth, it's hard to see evidence that she would have changed anything, despite Richie's sad end. The times were changing and the times were going to keep changing.
It seems like Mary Tyler Moore left us too soon when she died in 2017, but she was 80 and had suffered from Type I diabetes for many years. Obviously she achieved remarkable success in her career, but she also suffered some terrible lows. This book is a poignant reminder that things aren't always what they seem, and I'm glad she shared it.
She does not bare all in this story—many of the people she writes about were still living at the time she wrote this in 1995, and some still are. But in pithy chapters, some humorous, some harsher, she tells her truth, including some of her most embarrassing moments, with unflinching honesty. Thus she is generous to her first and seconds husbands, and tells little about her third (and last). She admits that as a very young mother she neglected her son Richie for her career (even saying, "I brought little joy to the small amount of time I spent with Richie. Duty was the blanket in which I wrapped us both") while saying that she now believes "there's something in nature that women should work if they can, but once they commit to bringing life into the world that should be the first priority." In truth, it's hard to see evidence that she would have changed anything, despite Richie's sad end. The times were changing and the times were going to keep changing.
It seems like Mary Tyler Moore left us too soon when she died in 2017, but she was 80 and had suffered from Type I diabetes for many years. Obviously she achieved remarkable success in her career, but she also suffered some terrible lows. This book is a poignant reminder that things aren't always what they seem, and I'm glad she shared it.
February 6, 2017
The Mary Tyler Moore Show is one of my all-time favorites, so it seemed about time that I read Mary Tyler Moore's memoir. The book starts out cute enough, with MTM having a conversation with her T.V. alter ego, Mary Richards. Real life Mary admits her reticence at exposing her flaws in the face of the all-too-perfect character that's come to be adored by the public. And while it's true that it would be impossible for the actress to measure up to the unrealistically good Mary Richards, it's not the main reason I didn't enjoy this book as much as I would have liked. The ultimate reason why the book garnered only a two star rating from me is this:
Mary Tyler Moore tended to pepper her book with snippets which lacked the depth that often goes with celebrity memoirs (Carly Simon's eloquent, open, lyrical memoir comes to mind). While MTM speaks about heartbreak and difficulties, she doesn't delve too deeply into them. For instance, while she speaks of her alcoholism, the reader is given details about how often and much she drank, but without getting into the deeper details of how alcohol affected her personal or professional life. In truth, she spent more time painting a more thorough portrait of her character from 'Ordinary People' than she ever did when describing herself. That's not to say that the public has a 'right' to know the most personal and intimate details of a celebrity's life, but if a celebrity chooses to write a memoir, the reader might expect the celebrity's decision to go to those places.
If the reader is looking for an intense study of MTM's life, including her time on (my favorite) - Mary Tyler Moore Show, it won't be found here. It's an 'OK' read, but, for me, not much more beyond that.
Mary Tyler Moore tended to pepper her book with snippets which lacked the depth that often goes with celebrity memoirs (Carly Simon's eloquent, open, lyrical memoir comes to mind). While MTM speaks about heartbreak and difficulties, she doesn't delve too deeply into them. For instance, while she speaks of her alcoholism, the reader is given details about how often and much she drank, but without getting into the deeper details of how alcohol affected her personal or professional life. In truth, she spent more time painting a more thorough portrait of her character from 'Ordinary People' than she ever did when describing herself. That's not to say that the public has a 'right' to know the most personal and intimate details of a celebrity's life, but if a celebrity chooses to write a memoir, the reader might expect the celebrity's decision to go to those places.
If the reader is looking for an intense study of MTM's life, including her time on (my favorite) - Mary Tyler Moore Show, it won't be found here. It's an 'OK' read, but, for me, not much more beyond that.
February 14, 2017
"Anyway, everyone gets something, and nobody gets everything, and that's the way it is."
I grew up watching Mary Tyler Moore on Nick at Nite - both The Dick Van Dyke Show and The Mary Tyler Moore Show, the latter of which I own on DVD - and I cried actual real tears when I heard that she died. But for all of my history with Moore, I knew nothing of her real life. Her memoir, which she wrote without the use of a ghostwriter, tells that story, in brutal, awe-inspiring honesty. Like every life, hers is more complicated than it looked - there's addiction, sadness, love, loss, death, illness, and heartbreaking insecurity - but she seemed, toward the end, to find peace and happiness. I enjoyed her story and her voice, and I will be forever sad that she's gone and forever hopeful that she found a way to believe she was good enough, and to know how much she meant to so many.
Also, the chapter "Square Things" is an inspired thing of beauty.
"I don't want to imply that my life (the puzzle) is solved, but I have definitely figured out the upper left-hand corner."
I grew up watching Mary Tyler Moore on Nick at Nite - both The Dick Van Dyke Show and The Mary Tyler Moore Show, the latter of which I own on DVD - and I cried actual real tears when I heard that she died. But for all of my history with Moore, I knew nothing of her real life. Her memoir, which she wrote without the use of a ghostwriter, tells that story, in brutal, awe-inspiring honesty. Like every life, hers is more complicated than it looked - there's addiction, sadness, love, loss, death, illness, and heartbreaking insecurity - but she seemed, toward the end, to find peace and happiness. I enjoyed her story and her voice, and I will be forever sad that she's gone and forever hopeful that she found a way to believe she was good enough, and to know how much she meant to so many.
Also, the chapter "Square Things" is an inspired thing of beauty.
"I don't want to imply that my life (the puzzle) is solved, but I have definitely figured out the upper left-hand corner."
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