Dialogue: And the Art of Thinking Together By William Isaacs
This is a great book to make you stop and think about what makes for great dialogue. It helps you ask the right questions such is How do I define great dialogue? How can I create the environment for great dialogue? What are the elements that make up a great dialogue?
The author defines dialogue as a conversation with a center, and not with sides. Instead of focusing on our differences, it channels our energies on something that is newly created. It is even more than finding a consensus as it is a context from which many new associations and prospects can be presented.
Conversation starts out with Deliberation between people. At that time, it can branch to Defending Positions or Dialogue. By Defending Positions, it can be by the use of Skillful Conversation through analysis, reasoning, and the creation of a synthesis of opposites. These are often academic in nature and more formal than informal. Defending positions can also turn into Controlled Discussion which is competitive and involves debating in a polite setting, or verbal brawling in an impolite setting.
But if Deliberation goes the way of Dialogue, it starts with Suspending our prejudices, our emotions, and our inside noise. Much of what we hear will trigger parts of our memories which will be our own interpretations of words, phrases, events, actions, emotions, etc. This is imposing prejudices on what is being spoken and needs to be suspended in order to practice active listening. Focused listening will lead to Reflective Dialogue which explores underlying causes, rules and assumptions to get deeper questions and framing of problems. The key to this phase is questioning and critical thinking and leads to seeing both the big picture and the atomic parts from the top down and also from the bottom up . From Reflective Dialogue we can go to Generative Dialogue which not only reveals the wisdom of our own reflections, but incorporates the wisdom of others to generate and create ideas that are new not only to us but to everyone involved. Through Generative Dialogue, each person walks away from the table with more than we came to the table. (As opposed to Debate and Skillful Conversation where no value has been added to our thoughts and feelings.)
An entire chapter is dedicated to the Art and Skill of Listening. Listening is critical not only by listening to others, but also by listening to our inner selves through reflection. Although our society is dominated by sight, for dialogue, we need to slow down and operate at the speed of sound.
Another chapter is devoted to Respect. True Dialogue requires that we respect the others, respect their views, their experiences, their expressions, and their feelings. It is to look for the “springs that feed the pool of their experiences” and see their experiences and subsequent knowledge and wisdom as legitimate.
Suspending is given an entire chapter where we focus on the words and the context being spoken without our mind’s clutter and prejudices, and where we become aware of our own thoughts and feelings. Not only do we become aware of our own thoughts and feelings, but we become aware of the processes that generate them. By becoming aware of our internal processes, we can then follow them and then we can even direct them or let them flow through our own voice. Instead of voicing that which we feel we should voice, or mimicking someone else’s voice (like a religion or a political party), we reveal what is true for ourselves. And this revelation often becomes not only a revelation to others around us, but also to ourselves. We learn about ourselves as we express ourselves.
And so true dialogue is a way in which we can learn about our thoughts and feelings in an environment where we grow and develop in our appreciation not only of others but also of ourselves. Dialogue: What a concept.
The most eloquent and in-depth exploration of how to create generative conversation I know of. Another way to look at it is an exploration of what it takes to mute power dynamics from group conversation. Inspired by the dialogue work of English physicist David Bohm.
Isaacs draws on thought of David Bohm and makes a clear presentation for contempory efforts to getting people to talk together for real change.Plenty of examples, stories and insights.
The book provides interesting insights. I am unsure as to what its precise contribution is because it presents numerous concepts and ideas from other authors. It is a bit repetitive and overly long.
In Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together (Currency and Doubleday, NY 1999), William Issacs brings readers back to the flow of meaning present in conversations. He writes, "most people living today do not know how to create meaningful conversations" and traces the etymology of the word from the classics. He defines dialogue as a conversation with a center, not sides. A way of taking energy of people's differences and channeling it into a new creation. The aim of dialogue is to avoid and, in time, remove us out of polarizations, he adds.
What follows are stories and examples of men and women in the sciences, engineering, military and business who all have succeeded and made a difference in their chosen field because they have recognized the power, aesthetics and flow of meaning in dialogue. Contents include capacity building for effective conversations in the workplace, enhancing relationships through dialogue, an examination of the ecology of thought and the role of dialogue in organizational management, the new economy and today's fragile democracy.
It is hard to believe that he works as a researcher and also teaches proper communication. More like a standard "life coach" kind of guy.
Instead of basing text on his own research, he repeatedly emphasizes what some physicist told him long ago. Then, instead of his own research outcomes, he tells anecdotes from his teachings-gatherings. On top of that, he constantly uses big words such as consciousness, and other "artistic" expressions instead of rigor. Not sure if he tries to make the reader come up with ideas, or simply tries to avoid errors (thus, not stating claims more precisely/testable).
A book for "spiritual hippies", not a scientific approach to modeling how humans think and share information to facilitate generative practices.
A powerful message that hits a lot of the notes represented in leadership literature. Several of the resources were repeated a bit too much for my liking...deeper, more diverse approaches to the research would have been beneficial in supporting the (all too necessary) argument.
3 stars. Shoddy editing (typos and grammar mistakes all through the book) was a problem. Also, the book could have narrowed the evidence presented...it felt like it could have been two books (present the thesis at the core, then have the follow-up book illuminate opportunities for expansion). Also could have used a workbook to illuminate best practices for laypeople.
Eloquently written with attention to illuminating stories about how dialogue work its magic in different contexts. I love the parts about the different conversational fields and how the leadership should be expressed differently in each field. The last chapter on Dialogue and Democracy has two contrasting examples of how dialogues could and couldn’t be pulled off. A recommended read for facilitators and dialogic practitioners!
Overly formal language? Check. Providing latin root of too many words for no real reason? Check. Meandering thesis? Check. Really just an extended review of someone else's work? (David Brohm) Check.
This is a must-read seminal work for anyone interested in group dynamics and human interaction.
When we talk together, it is rarely with depth. For the most part, we see our conversations as either opportunities to trade information or arenas in which to win points. (pg. 14).
If you want to change your perspective of the world, to be a better listener, to speak with truth, love and beauty. If you want to improve collective intelligence within your team's, organisations or even your personal lives, I would highly recommend this book.
Understanding dialogue is not only a tricky skill to master, but one that seems to go underutilized in today's world. And Isaacs brings beautiful structure to understanding the preconditions of a meaningful dialogue.
Kind of a weird synthesis of Bohmian mechanics and spiritual practice mixed with organizational management and a whole lot of corporate-speak, which is probably the only way I could hope to stomach all this talk of CEOs and VPs and board meetings
Dialogue begins with consciousness and awareness of yourself Undivided attention to be in dialogue with your thoughts/feelings/needs before communicating
Revisit Ken Wilbur, David Bohm, Fritjof Capra Also revisit Martin Buber, Parker Palmer
I thought this book made some good points, but it was a bit bogged down in (I don't want to say hippie, but it was kinda hippie) a lot of really conceptual stuff.
This book digs deep into our dialogue and what are our motives when we communicate. Sometimes we don't have a desire to communicate at all, but we are just looking to get our point across.
Reading Dialogue: The Art of Thinking Together by William Isaacs has had reverberating affects on my way of thinking, seeing, and participating with the interconnected world around me. It has left me wondering why we collectively pretend, as a culture and as a species, to know what we are supposed to be doing here in this world with the time we have been granted. We stroll through the streets of our brilliantly constructed societies with a contrived sense of ease and understanding that what we are doing—whether it is going to work, school, or participating in some other cultural norm, is exactly what we are supposed to be doing.
We put on the air that we believe that what we are doing is the natural order of things, and that this procession of actions which we take part in and perpetuate is merely us playing our part in collectively working towards reaching the zenith of human potential. We are forging ahead, going further than any of our ancestors were able to, and embodying what it means to be a successful human being within a successful society. Through our technological advances and with the inventions of our countless machines and artifacts which simplify our lives, we free up precious time that we would otherwise be spending on inane tasks. And with all of this freed time, we transcend the previously imagined limits of human potential with our flourishing knowledge, understanding, and participation—right?
Why are we not constantly marveling at this strange existence that we have been given? Earnestly bemusing to ourselves and others the myriad of questions that every facet of our lives should enliven in us? We are all sick with the parsimonious character of a capitalistic society which turns us all against each other. This drive to reach the highest point of ‘success’ breeds a competitive spirit which infects us all, fabricating an unreachable point of prosperity where all of our dreams can come true. In our consumption of pleasures and luxuries on our way towards this inaccessible apex of achievement, true happiness becomes ever more elusive and faraway. But we convince ourselves, when surrounded by our material goods and distractions, that we have attained it and continue to attain it with every newly obtained extravagance. We are trying to own the world because we cannot even begin to reign our own minds.
We objectify the cosmos and falsify an understanding of it. The answers all lie in human knowledge and the mechanistic and observable functions which science has uncovered for us all. We have largely solved the great mystery, and can now focus on satisfying our own desires. This shallow, flighty lifestyle is pervading our culture, our practices, our beliefs, our minds, and our spirits. We “protect ourselves from intensity by creating intensity. Creating artificial experiences of intensity [i.e. entertaining, exciting, risky, and/or emotionally arousing] can shield us from our real, personal intensity. They can keep us from having to face the pain, anger, guilt, uncertainty, and doubt as well as the beauty that are deep inside of us” (Isaacs, 1999). These artificial forces at work keep us ensconced in our own lives and allow us to see with only our limited vision, turning others into possible threats to our cushioned lifestyle rather than potential friends or sources of mutual understanding and insight. The primacy of the whole and the awareness of interconnectedness of everything—our thoughts, behaviors, beliefs, cultures, practices, and nature have nearly been lost. We are all so distracted by this promise of happiness through personal success that our vision of what is good, what is beautiful, and what is true is clouded by this unquenchable thirst for more.
We are constantly distracted; truly living in the moment is a foreign concept to us, and it is only through true dialogue that we can transform our current systems of thought that at once connect us all and fragment our reality through our current ways of thinking. Dialogue has the transformative power to change the way we participate in the world. Participation is seeing yourself always in regards to the natural world and other beings within it, and dialogue fosters this way of being and forces us all to live within the realm of the present, together. We all know that this is the only route to true happiness and to realizing human potential. We have always known this, and now is the time to seize it by dropping this façade of nonchalance in the face of all of this abounding wonder. Instead of good answers, we need good questions, and to muster these questions we must humble ourselves to the perplexity of the universe and lose ourselves in it. We must trust in our collective capacity to truly discover what it means to be a part of this reciprocal and interconnected existence.
“And what is good, Phaedrus? And what is not good? Need we ask anyone to tell us these things?”
If you cannot sit still and listen to others you may want to skim through this book. Probably the only business book I've read where I asked myself, is this guy high? Listen I'm usually a huge fan of explaining the why behind an idea, but he goes on about oneness and the universe and his boy David Bohm's theory on life almost too much. I found myself saying, OK, I get it, I see why you think that way but how do I apply it? What specific things can I do to put this into practice?
I also propose that the book be called "Dialogue: The Art of Speaking in Groups in a Business Setting." This is not a book about becoming a better conversationalist with one other person but rather how to openly dialogue in a group for business purposes. Probably important you know that before giving a read.
I wasn't too impress with the book because I didn't quite understand the purpose (business settings) before ordering (that's my bad), because I don't think I have too much of an issue listening to others during a business meeting and finally because even though I agree with the oneness stuff on a philosophical and scientific level that's not how modern capitalism functions. I read about half and then put it down so if you want to borrow it and finish it and change my mind about it I'm all ears.
Quotes For the [ancient] Greeks, dia logos, flow of meaning, was seen as a cornerstone of civic practice, inseparable from self-governing. The capacity for talking together constituted the foundation for democracy, far more fundamental than voting. As one ancient Greek philosopher noted, 'when voting started, democracy ended." xvii Dialogue, as I define it, is a conversation with a center, not sides. It is a way of taking the energy of our differences and channeling it toward something that has never been created before. It lifts us out of polarization and into a greater common sense, and is thereby a means of accessing the intelligence and coordinated power of groups of people. 19 The implicate order is the idea that underlying the physical universe is a sea of energy that 'unfolds' into the visible, explicate world we see around us. In this picture, reality unfolds from this invisible sea and then folds back up again. Bohm began to speculate that these ideas might serve as a metaphor for understanding other levels of experience, including thought and consciousness itself. 39 The three main value spheres of human activity: ethics, science, and art. In our modern world these three have become completely divided. 54 Dialogue builds from the premise that the world is an undivided whole, and that the central problem we face is that we do not see this. 68 To listen is to develop an inner silence. 84 Finding and speaking one's voice requires first a willingness to be still. Daring to be quiet can seem like an enormous risk in a world that values articulate speech. But to speak our voice we may have to learn to refrain from speaking and listen. Not every word that comes to us needs to be spoken. In fact, learning to choose consciously what we do and do not say can establish a great level of control and stability in our lives. 163
Well I probably spent the most time reading this book of any text so far this year...a bit dry, certainly relevant.
Dialogue is an exposition on the ways in which discussions can be made more fruitful, philosophies which support and inhibit productive exchanges, and how they can be applied to real-word impasses.
Very basically, a few key aspects of productive dialogue are examined and played with throughout the book: voicing, listening, respecting and suspending/suppression. All seemingly intuitive and easily overlooked in just about every interaction most of us engage in.
I found the discussions about setting and making strong "containers" for dialogue to be very insightful and approachable. It was less about the one on one interactions that I was hoping to apply to my work, and more about creating space for real substantive interaction. Which sadly, I don't see happening at work...
It's really good if you are interested in the topic, or liked Ury's "Getting to Yes"; otherwise it might be a bit of a bog down for many.
Dialogue is "a conversation with a center, not sides."
Based on the research and work of MIT-based group "The Dialogue Project" and his consulting business, author Bill Isaacs outlines ways to consider the event of the conversation among people who may or may not have the same perspective on a topic. Giving reflection and response time in a conversation is critical. Love the quote, "People don't listen; they reload."
While the principles are universally applicable to all conversations, personal and professional, I found them especially helpful for addressing values-based conflict--one of the most difficult conversations to attempt to have in a healthy and productive way.
Excellent thoughts for slowing down the speed of our conversations toward real, meaningful, whole relationships. Timely? Always.
"Dialogue" is a contemplative book that questions how little we truly engage in dialogue when we meet in groups and markets dialogue as critical to our companies and our lives. Providing 4 crucial capacities to develop--listening, suspending, respecting, and voicing--as well as indicating how we can spot structural traps in conversations, the book also serves as a guide to improving our dialogues. Using mostly research by physicist David Bohm, family systems therapist David Kantor, and experiences consulting with Fortune 500 companies such as Shell and Ford, Isaacs crafts an argument, albeit woven unclearly at times, that we can and should use the concept of dialogue as a powerful means to strip away agendas and engender an understanding that is both authentic and collective.
Sometimes my book reviews take on a life of their own. While preparing for my review of Dialogue: The Art of Thinking Together, I started to gather some thoughts on one of the key aspects of dialogues, which is the impact of defensive routines. Before I knew it, defensive routines had enough content for its own blog – thus this post. So the review for Dialogue will end up in three parts. We’ll cover two specific topics first then tie it together with the “official” review.