Getting Them Sober: You Can Help by Toby R. Drews

by Toby Rice Drews

ABOUT THE BOOK --Hundreds of practical and effective suggestions for sobriety and recovery. Over a million copies sold -- this book is endorsed by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, by 'dear Abby' (''this book should be read by everyone''), and by Melody Beattie (author of Codependent No More) who said "'Getting Them Sober' is the BEST book for families of the still-drinking alcoholic.''From the Introduction to the book --- "While the alcoholic lies passed out, anesthetized, the family goes through the years of his drinking --- stark, raving sober. They believe lies, expect miracles, have him locked up, bail him out, wish he were dead, and pray that he gets home safely. If the spouse of the alcoholic changes his or her behavior, as outlined in this book, the alcoholic has an 80 percent better chance to get sober."CHAPTER TITLES INCLUDE---* No more taking the blame for someone else's drinking!* Be gentle with yourself* Don't worry about whether he's really an alcoholic* Don't pour out the booze* Learn to relax* Don't be afraid of losing him because you're changing* Stop arguing with him (it works!)* Do one thing every day just for yourself* Use tough love* Don't ride with him when he's drunk* Confront him!* Walk away from abuse* Accept yourself* Don't believe "Drunk Is Fun!"* Tell your families? Only if you want to!* Mean what you say and say what you mean* Deal with his arrogance!* Don't change your address!* Hide the car keys?* You have the right to get sick too!* Learn about blackouts* Try to remember it's a disease* Let the crises happen* No more lying to his boss!* Start to get help---- Even though he's the alcoholic* Stay with him or leave him "Just for today"* Break out of your isolation* Stop asking permission!* Act as if you love you* Put him in the back of your mind* Don't feel guilty when you're mad!* Forget his bad mouth* Don't say you're changing-----just do it* Stop telling him how to get sober (don't talk to brick walls, either)* Don't get scared when he threatens to drink* Wipe out saying, "you've been drinking again!"* Don't expect him to be sober* Stop checking the bars* Don't beg him to stay* Don't be scared that he will leave if he gets well* Getting Help* Sex and alcoholism* A Quick Test--- Are you an alcoholic?* Reflection Guide* Resource DirectoryTOBY DREWS' OTHER BOOKS ON KINDLE--The other books in this award-winning series are "Getting Them Sober, volume 2" (more on total family healing) ---- "Getting Them Sober, volume 3'' (half the book details the 350 secondary diseases // disorders to alcoholism) --- "Getting Them Sober, volume 4'' (hidden issues before and after separation/divorce in alcoholism) ---- "Getting Your Children Sober" (for parents of children aged 9 to 59 who have addiction problems) --- "Sex and the Sober Alcoholic" --- "Answering the Crazymaking'' ---- and ''Get Rid of Anxiety and Stress"ABOUT THE AUTHOR ----Toby Rice Drews trains counselors, writes, and offers phone consultations to family members worldwide.

Genres: Nonfiction

Paperback

First published February 1, 1994

Reviews

[Willow · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book absolutely changed my life and gave me peace of mind when I needed it the most. I can’t recommend it enough. Only someone married to an alcoholic knows what it’s like to go through this, and it felt so good to read some excellent advice. The book even has scenes and scenarios and advised me what I could do. I started following the principles in this book and to my surprise, my alcoholic amazed me one day by saying he wanted to get sober. Could’ve knocked me down with a feather (as my grandma would say.) And here I was halfway out the door. Now he’s been sober for seven years and we couldn’t be happier. I can't say that every story will end up as happy as mine. I know the odds of an alcoholic going sober are slim. But this book teaches you to heal yourself and get better. This book is awesome!

[Melissa Stacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wanted to write a full review for "Getting Them Sober: Volume I: You Can Help!" (first published in 1980), by Toby Rice Drews, but time has gotten away from me.

This nonfiction book is a great addition to Al-Anon materials. The text focuses on what people being victimized by alcoholics can do to help themselves detach from the alcoholic and free themselves from suffering.

"Getting Them Sober" is *not* a how-to guide about the path to sobriety. This book is really intended for everyone suffering the effects of alcoholism who is not an alcoholic.

The book is definitely dated, and certain parts of this book have not aged well. But for what it is, it's still a great resource.

Five stars.

[Valiant · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel this book saved my sanity while trying to deal with my Alcoholic Boyfriend.
It continues to bring me piece of mind, and self acceptance. Can be read over and over, is easily understandable and can be grasped by anyone. A fast read for those who are feeling anxiety and desperation over their hopelessness with their Active Alcoholic.

[Angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is my strength right now. I have highlighted nearly the entire book. I am starting it over from the beginning even though I just finished it today.

[Jeana Salman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Terrific book with exact directions and explanations on how to help a loved one who's suffering from addiction. Though I agree with Al-Anon which teaches that one can't control someone else's addiction, this book does help you understand how your actions can hinder a loved one's recovery and your own.

[Linda Schroeder · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ever Proofread?

Terrible job of editing and proofreading. The book encourages the reader to attend Al-Anon, but it is spelled, "Ai-Anon" throughout. And that is just the beginning of the misspellings and poor language skills! The book has some helpful advice, but it is difficult to discover due to the writers poor communication skills.

[Letty · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was so good. Before even the content--I love how the title "Getting Them Sober" catches the attention of just the right people. This book is for people who try to "help" others, and teaches how to focus more on yourself.

[Lisa Arce · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot even describe how much comfort I found in reading this book. It was relatable, comforting, and prescriptive. And I can’t help but appreciate the cleverness of its title. I’ve already ordered the other volumes. I think this is the first really good day I’ve had in months!

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do yourself a favor and read this book if you have a loved one with any form of addiction.