What do you think?
Rate this book
Engaged Healthy, Wealthy & Wise: Lessons from inheritors and their significant others on how they have navigated love and family wealth and forged their own joint path
When a young inheritor announces that they have met “the one” – their chosen life partner whom they hope to marry – the wheels of the wealth advising industry whir into motion. Advisors recommend prenuptial agreements, wealth-owning families discuss how transparent to be about the family’s financial situation, and white papers offer best practices about how to “onboard” the new partner to the wealth-owning family’s cultural and financial ecosystem.
But amid all of this, there is a young couple in love. What does it feel like to be this young inheritor and their partner (for whom all of this is new and largely irrelevant)? How does it feel when the possibility that defines this tender time of life runs smack into the formal frameworks inherent in most wealth management ecosystems? And how can a young couple make it through with their love, partnership, and faith in each other not only intact but stronger on the other side?
That is what this book is about. It’s about the perspective of these young people who are rarely asked for their views by an industry that is employed largely by their parents’ generation. And it is about how they have navigated the journey of forging a strong union and fulfilling life path with their chosen partner amid the complexities of inherited family wealth.
This is the third book in the Healthy, Wealthy & Wise series by nationally recognized wealth advisor Coventry Edwards-Pitt, CFA, CFP®. The first, Raised Healthy, Wealthy & Wise (2014) focuses on helping parents to raise grounded children amid wealth, and the second, Aged Healthy, Wealthy & Wise, centers on how to design a vibrant later life and legacy. Covie’s books live at the intersection of heart and wealth and share positive success stories of how individuals have reconciled their financial abundance with the values and relationships that matter most in their lives.
But amid all of this, there is a young couple in love. What does it feel like to be this young inheritor and their partner (for whom all of this is new and largely irrelevant)? How does it feel when the possibility that defines this tender time of life runs smack into the formal frameworks inherent in most wealth management ecosystems? And how can a young couple make it through with their love, partnership, and faith in each other not only intact but stronger on the other side?
That is what this book is about. It’s about the perspective of these young people who are rarely asked for their views by an industry that is employed largely by their parents’ generation. And it is about how they have navigated the journey of forging a strong union and fulfilling life path with their chosen partner amid the complexities of inherited family wealth.
This is the third book in the Healthy, Wealthy & Wise series by nationally recognized wealth advisor Coventry Edwards-Pitt, CFA, CFP®. The first, Raised Healthy, Wealthy & Wise (2014) focuses on helping parents to raise grounded children amid wealth, and the second, Aged Healthy, Wealthy & Wise, centers on how to design a vibrant later life and legacy. Covie’s books live at the intersection of heart and wealth and share positive success stories of how individuals have reconciled their financial abundance with the values and relationships that matter most in their lives.
293 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 14, 2023
6 people are currently reading
17 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
October 10, 2025
The basics of this are overall sound, and there are many examples of couples to draw on, though I find the verbatim transcription unnecessary.
There are some default assumptions I don’t quite agree with, such as specious scenarios around family foundations and others where counterfactuals are thin on the ground, particularly as it relates to intra generational values and continuity, and little said on the wisdom of guardrails that mitigate unknown-unknowns in practice.
Reading through this does help to examine some held beliefs, and to see these issues from the outside point of view as in the creating of a new union, though it doesn’t have to be all from a position of defensiveness!
There are some default assumptions I don’t quite agree with, such as specious scenarios around family foundations and others where counterfactuals are thin on the ground, particularly as it relates to intra generational values and continuity, and little said on the wisdom of guardrails that mitigate unknown-unknowns in practice.
Reading through this does help to examine some held beliefs, and to see these issues from the outside point of view as in the creating of a new union, though it doesn’t have to be all from a position of defensiveness!
August 27, 2025
A good book that was thought provoking for me reading it on my honeymoon. I thought the first part on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and an inheritor’s relationship of money of it was a bit unnecessary given this was the third book in the series, and as a partner I really wanted to sink my teeth into the main point of what happens around the engagement. The excerpts will speak for themselves, and while I wish I had read this book earlier, I am probably in a more open state of mind now, realising there are some things I don’t need to deny or avoid.
Excerpts
This avoidance and "othering" of all the instruments of wealth management can become problematic if it impedes the inheritor's developing financial agency or prevents them from feeling empowered in the financial world. We've seen that the surest way for inheritors to feel agency when interacting with the financial world is to seek advice and guidance about money they feel is truly their own.
If we could dispense with all the charade of pretending we're not wealthy, what would that do? How could we unlock impact and transformation if we could dispense with that shame and hiding?
“Why work hard? Because it's the surest and possibly the only route to self-respect. Why strive? Because striving brings out the best in us; it tells us who we are, what we have to offer, how much we're capable of achieving. What's left to do after the family's prosperity has been established? Everything!”
The disparity between their own expectation of wealth, society's view of them as wealthy, and the degree to which they actually are in control of any real wealth.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.”
“Partners share a single fate: no action benefits one and harms the other.... A couple shares in one process, one dance, one story. Whatever improves that one benefits both; whatever detracts hurts and weakens both lives.”
The first foundational stone in developing a financial plan is to agree that after marriage, it will no longer be 'my money' and 'your money' but 'our money. At the heart of marriage is the desire for unity. 'For better or worse, we intend to live life together. The implication is that we will share our income and work as a team in deciding what to do with our money.... If you are not ready for this kind of unity, then you are not ready for marriage.
“My reaction was just, you know, it made me furious-the idea that somebody would trust me with the kids, but not with the money. I thought the kids are so much more important than the money!"
“Every person has sensitivities about money. And the most important thing you can do is figure out where your sensitive zones are and where your partner's are, so that then you can support them through it." She continues that they've learned it's important to "figure out what the triggers are for each person-what are your 'triggery' things that you get squirrely or weird about spending money on? What are the attributes of those types of purchases? […] The truth is we're all savers and spenders at different times." The trick in a relationship is to be able to understand and empathize with when and why your partner chooses to practice each behavior, especially if their rationale differs from your own.
Couples who regularly discuss meaning, purpose, and contribution are a step ahead in jointly charting the course of their life. […] Jennifer Petriglieri: "Unlike what many people think, couples don't fail because they don't support each other. They fail because they are not sure what it is that they are supporting, and why. What a good life means for them, what they need and want, and therefore what they can let go of, and what they must keep pursuing, even at a cost."
On paper, and to all external appearances, Deborah looked "included" — she attended family business meetings and was assigned a role on the foundation. In reality, though, she had no voice. As she put it, "I was
95% included but needed to be quiet.”
"I was caught up in trying to impress my in-laws, trying to dig in, but trying not to take over or be inappropriate in some way. Trying to be part of the family, but also trying to forge my own path. And trying to fit in, but also trying to maintain my own family identity,"
“You've spent your entire life—25, 30 years-knowing only one certain way. And now, you're expected to integrate into a new family with different traditions and navigate these hurdles together with your partner who might have different strategies for handling certain things." She continues, "So, I think my biggest takeaway from this whole experience is, it's okay that it takes time.
It's not going to be perfect, and there are going to be things that don't go smoothly, and I think that's okay.”
"Families think of themselves as being related through blood," Hughes writes. "The paradox is that no family ever begins with blood relations. All families begin by an affinity of two people who seek to begin a common journey. As soon as a family begins to think of itself as related by blood, it has actually abandoned its dual heritage and based its idea of family on a fallacy."
Charles Lowenhaupt speaks to the need for this space, writing "The family of an 18-year-old may center on his parents and his siblings. The family of a 38-year-old should center on his wife and children. Your extended family should stay extended, and your immediate family must be nuclear.... You must analyze every element of family bundling.”
From the size of your home to the wealth of your zip code, the decision about where to plant roots is one of the most significant you and your partner will make in your efforts to design your children's childhood. Your choice will define your children's concept of home and inform their innate sense of what is normal for the rest of their lives. […] The very places you might choose for the amenities they offer may also double down on the isolation that can come with wealth and, by reducing socioeconomic and racial (given the existing racial wealth gap in the United States) diversity, draw a tighter circle around the world in which your child feels comfortable and understands how to operate.
[..] Socioeconomically fluent, meaning they have given him an ability to relate authentically to the many people who have this experience in common. When your child eventually embarks on their own journey of self-sufficiency. If they've experienced, lived in, and have felt comfortable in a range of socioeconomic experiences, they'll be far better equipped to embrace whatever level of lifestyle they will be able to afford on their own.
I've seen in my work that a transparent message works best: "Of course I could buy this for you; but I want you to experience the satisfaction of being able to buy it for yourself."
It’s often the parenting role itself that acts as a catalyst for couples to begin to think more proactively about this issue. As our interviewee Oliver put it, "I think having kids sort of crystallized for us that we are going to be dealing with this wealth in one way or another, and it's better to start being more intentional about it and figuring out how to use it for better things or to serve others or to sort of do things differently, as opposed to just ignoring it and not dealing with it."
Parents who are honest with themselves and with their children about areas they have struggled with as a result of wealth can be even more effective than those who try to portray invincibility. These parents empathize with their children and model not only vulnerability but also that they have traveled the same journey. […] It's remarkable how children respond to vulnerability, particularly when they are at an age when they are trying to get out from under the shadow of a parent who otherwise may seem quite successful.
Excerpts
This avoidance and "othering" of all the instruments of wealth management can become problematic if it impedes the inheritor's developing financial agency or prevents them from feeling empowered in the financial world. We've seen that the surest way for inheritors to feel agency when interacting with the financial world is to seek advice and guidance about money they feel is truly their own.
If we could dispense with all the charade of pretending we're not wealthy, what would that do? How could we unlock impact and transformation if we could dispense with that shame and hiding?
“Why work hard? Because it's the surest and possibly the only route to self-respect. Why strive? Because striving brings out the best in us; it tells us who we are, what we have to offer, how much we're capable of achieving. What's left to do after the family's prosperity has been established? Everything!”
The disparity between their own expectation of wealth, society's view of them as wealthy, and the degree to which they actually are in control of any real wealth.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.”
“Partners share a single fate: no action benefits one and harms the other.... A couple shares in one process, one dance, one story. Whatever improves that one benefits both; whatever detracts hurts and weakens both lives.”
The first foundational stone in developing a financial plan is to agree that after marriage, it will no longer be 'my money' and 'your money' but 'our money. At the heart of marriage is the desire for unity. 'For better or worse, we intend to live life together. The implication is that we will share our income and work as a team in deciding what to do with our money.... If you are not ready for this kind of unity, then you are not ready for marriage.
“My reaction was just, you know, it made me furious-the idea that somebody would trust me with the kids, but not with the money. I thought the kids are so much more important than the money!"
“Every person has sensitivities about money. And the most important thing you can do is figure out where your sensitive zones are and where your partner's are, so that then you can support them through it." She continues that they've learned it's important to "figure out what the triggers are for each person-what are your 'triggery' things that you get squirrely or weird about spending money on? What are the attributes of those types of purchases? […] The truth is we're all savers and spenders at different times." The trick in a relationship is to be able to understand and empathize with when and why your partner chooses to practice each behavior, especially if their rationale differs from your own.
Couples who regularly discuss meaning, purpose, and contribution are a step ahead in jointly charting the course of their life. […] Jennifer Petriglieri: "Unlike what many people think, couples don't fail because they don't support each other. They fail because they are not sure what it is that they are supporting, and why. What a good life means for them, what they need and want, and therefore what they can let go of, and what they must keep pursuing, even at a cost."
On paper, and to all external appearances, Deborah looked "included" — she attended family business meetings and was assigned a role on the foundation. In reality, though, she had no voice. As she put it, "I was
95% included but needed to be quiet.”
"I was caught up in trying to impress my in-laws, trying to dig in, but trying not to take over or be inappropriate in some way. Trying to be part of the family, but also trying to forge my own path. And trying to fit in, but also trying to maintain my own family identity,"
“You've spent your entire life—25, 30 years-knowing only one certain way. And now, you're expected to integrate into a new family with different traditions and navigate these hurdles together with your partner who might have different strategies for handling certain things." She continues, "So, I think my biggest takeaway from this whole experience is, it's okay that it takes time.
It's not going to be perfect, and there are going to be things that don't go smoothly, and I think that's okay.”
"Families think of themselves as being related through blood," Hughes writes. "The paradox is that no family ever begins with blood relations. All families begin by an affinity of two people who seek to begin a common journey. As soon as a family begins to think of itself as related by blood, it has actually abandoned its dual heritage and based its idea of family on a fallacy."
Charles Lowenhaupt speaks to the need for this space, writing "The family of an 18-year-old may center on his parents and his siblings. The family of a 38-year-old should center on his wife and children. Your extended family should stay extended, and your immediate family must be nuclear.... You must analyze every element of family bundling.”
From the size of your home to the wealth of your zip code, the decision about where to plant roots is one of the most significant you and your partner will make in your efforts to design your children's childhood. Your choice will define your children's concept of home and inform their innate sense of what is normal for the rest of their lives. […] The very places you might choose for the amenities they offer may also double down on the isolation that can come with wealth and, by reducing socioeconomic and racial (given the existing racial wealth gap in the United States) diversity, draw a tighter circle around the world in which your child feels comfortable and understands how to operate.
[..] Socioeconomically fluent, meaning they have given him an ability to relate authentically to the many people who have this experience in common. When your child eventually embarks on their own journey of self-sufficiency. If they've experienced, lived in, and have felt comfortable in a range of socioeconomic experiences, they'll be far better equipped to embrace whatever level of lifestyle they will be able to afford on their own.
I've seen in my work that a transparent message works best: "Of course I could buy this for you; but I want you to experience the satisfaction of being able to buy it for yourself."
It’s often the parenting role itself that acts as a catalyst for couples to begin to think more proactively about this issue. As our interviewee Oliver put it, "I think having kids sort of crystallized for us that we are going to be dealing with this wealth in one way or another, and it's better to start being more intentional about it and figuring out how to use it for better things or to serve others or to sort of do things differently, as opposed to just ignoring it and not dealing with it."
Parents who are honest with themselves and with their children about areas they have struggled with as a result of wealth can be even more effective than those who try to portray invincibility. These parents empathize with their children and model not only vulnerability but also that they have traveled the same journey. […] It's remarkable how children respond to vulnerability, particularly when they are at an age when they are trying to get out from under the shadow of a parent who otherwise may seem quite successful.
November 14, 2023
This book changed my life. It confirmed a lot of ideas I’ve had but have never heard someone else put it into words. It also helped me gain perspective and have a voice to navigate my family office and wealth with my husband and our nuclear family 💙 . It got a little repetitive for me, and that’s the only reason why I gave it 4 stars instead of 5.
July 21, 2023
I read this for an executive networking group I’m apart of for work. It enlightened me to understand the varying level of younger generations finding out about their wealth for the first time, and the road they navigate to accepting that wealth (or not).
It also provided understanding of how “in laws” feel coming into such high net worth families, and that simply offering opportunities to learn the family businesses or partake in the Foundation aren’t enough.
A great read to help better foster relationships with family members I work with.
It also provided understanding of how “in laws” feel coming into such high net worth families, and that simply offering opportunities to learn the family businesses or partake in the Foundation aren’t enough.
A great read to help better foster relationships with family members I work with.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews