As I Lay Dying: Meditations Upon Returning

by Richard John Neuhaus

Several years ago, a ruptured tumor almost killed Richard John Neuhaus. During a series of complicated operations, weeks in critical condition, and months in slow recovery, he was brought face to face with his own mortality. As he lay dying and, as it turned out, recovering, he found that despite his faith he had been quite unprepared for the experience. This book traces his efforts to understand his own reactions and those of his friends and family, and explores how we as a culture understand and deal with death. As I Lay Dying testifies that dying is-and is not-part of living. We can and should live our dying. Neuhaus interweaves his own story with thoughtful inquiry, circling through philosophy, psychology, literature, theology, and his own experiences to create provocative meditations that explore the many aspects of dying: the private and public experience, the separation of the soul from the body, grief, surrender, and mourning. The result is a book that shakes the foundations of our being-and yet is oddly and convincingly tranquil.

Genres: Catholic, Religion, Theology, Memoir, Christianity

176 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2002

About the author

Richard John Neuhaus was a prominent Christian cleric (first as a Lutheran pastor and later as a Roman Catholic priest) and writer. Born in Canada, Neuhaus moved to the United States where he became a naturalized United States citizen. He was the founder and editor of the monthly journal First Things and the author of several books, including The Naked Public Square: Religion and Democracy in America (1984), The Catholic Moment: The Paradox of the Church in the Postmodern World (1987), and Catholic Matters: Confusion, Controversy, and the Splendor of Truth (2006). He was a staunch defender of the Roman Catholic Church's teachings on abortion and other life issues and an unofficial advisor of President George W. Bush on bioethical issues.

Reviews

[Tim · Rating 4 out of 5]

As I lay churning in my own thoughts, Neuhaus, once a Lutheran pastor from Canada, long since a Roman Catholic theologian, advisor to bishops, and circumscriptor of the public square, recounted his close experience with death in this little book. He begins with words to live by: "We are born to die. Not that death is the purpose of our being born, but we are born toward death, and in each of our lives the work of dying is already under way. The work of dying well is, in largest part, the work of living well." And, since the end is the beginning, he discovers that "... Every day is a good day to be born; every day is a good day to die. Everything is now ready." Neuhaus has since died of a recurrence of the cancerous eruption that bloomed into this mediation, but he left this mark and others - as would we all - that the living may pause upon and carry through. For some that mark is to inscribe "Kilroy was here." For others the inscription reads "Love conquers all."

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

I gave this 5 stars, because while it does not deserve 5 it certainly deserves a higher overall rating than what it currently has. I would say, a solid 4.5.

I do not agree with everything in this book. At times, it feels like Neuhaus is rambling. On occasion I am reminded of an old man shaking his fist at the sky. All is filtered through the lens of his Catholic faith, which I stress to other heathens like myself to keep an open mind and not dismiss it out of hand because of his conservative ideas and beliefs.

For whatever ideological faults I may find with this text, it is moving and beautifully written. There are turns of phrase that force me to pause, accountings that have me tingling with wonder, and rumination that cries for a rearrangement of thought. I would not go so far as to call this book perfect, but you get the feeling that it is earnest, heartfelt, and in some ways, urgent. Besides that, for whatever faults or disagreements I find, I also find that I could not put it down, in fact could not even sleep until I had turned the final page. It is a rare book that demands that of me, and it is for that reason it has earned such high praise.

[Dave Franklin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Richard John Neuhaus's "As I Lay Dying," is a gracefully written memoir of the author's brush with death. While his account is at times quite compelling, Neuhaus's narrative meanders between theology, philosophy and literature: hence, his search for understanding is somewhat diffuse.

That said, Neuhaus does provide an intimate account of a believers journey.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book I will re-read. To me, there were actually funny moments, but it was also very comforting as Neuhaus talked about his close encounter with death. Not weird, but illuminating and thoughtful. "Everything is ready now."

[Matthew Chapman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting with some good points. But I don’t know if it was interesting enough to re-read. Most likely 3.5 stars, but I round up due to the deep contemplation that I will have on some of the author’s points.

[John Buchanan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding. Gentle, thoughtful, nothing to prove, yet insightful and encouraging while retaining the mystery of death and dying.

[John Engberg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good quotes. A little too academic

[Charles Bell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I originally read this in March 2010. It was on my bookshelf so I picked it up in 2024 after my open heart surgery, cardiac ablation and various other 'medical adventures' in a local emergency room. It was even more interesting and insightful the second time. Although it briefly mentions a near-death experience, it is not about that episode. It is about coming to terms with his mortality through the insights of novelists, patients, friends, philosophers and others though the past and of course his illness.
I enjoyed his honesty and writing style. Read it and you will come away with a deeper understanding of life and your coming death or don't read it and deal with it later.--your choice.

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a set of reflections of a prominent theologian/author who abandons his usual analytical role in favor giving us a very personal response to his fight with cancer and brush with death. He draws on a lifetime of being a parish priest and a student of literature and theology. I actually found it somewhat depressing, so beware. But after finishing the book, I'm glad I stuck with it because there are valuable insights in it for all us when we face our own death.

[Buck · Rating 1 out of 5]

Was in a hurry and mistakenly bought this instead of Faulkner. Read 10 pages and disagreed with everything he said. I could hear the phony preacher's voice projecting from the pulpit. Threw it in the rubbish receptacle at the Bahrain airport.

[Jack · Rating 3 out of 5]

Extremely well written, very philosophical in nature. Not the NDE type of book that I was looking for.

[Deanna Rinebolt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting book. I was curious about his NDE and what he had to say about it.

[Pixismiler · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was definitely not what I was expecting. He bounces around and it's a "little random stream of consciousness." It has a few good lines, but probably too over my head.

[Nino Nadiradze · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I feel like a wet seed wild in the hot blind earth.”

[Ken Ficara · Rating 3 out of 5]

http://kenficara.net/books/2007/07/th...