BETWEEN MOTHERS AND SONS: Women Writers Talk About Having Sons and Raising Men

by Patricia Stevens

"The challenge for mothers of sons is to realize that because we do not share a sexual identity, that because we have not grown up in a male body, we cannot presume to understand everything there is to know about our sons' worlds." -- Patricia Stevens
Between Mothers and Sons is the first anthology in which women writers attempt to answer the question that all mothers have contemplated in the course of mothering the opposite "Who is this male child who came out of my body?" Or, as a pregnant Mary Gordon said when her doctor told her she was having a boy, "Oh, my God. What am I supposed to do with one of them?"
From the earliest days of nursing to the good-byes of college and looming adulthood, these writers collectively explore, in a thrilling range of styles and sensibilities, the delights and frustrations, the deep and often conflicted emotions, they feel in their roles as mothers to their male children. Between Mothers and Sons resoundingly and unflinchingly celebrates this journey we are all making with our boys.

with essays

Julene Bair † Janet Burroway † Robb Forman Dew
Deborah Galyan † Mary Gordon † Joy Harjo † Anne Lamott
Susan Lester † Jo-Ann Mapson † Leigh McKinley
Valerie Monroe † Naomi Shihab Nye † Eileen Pollack
Jewell Parker Rhodes † Patricia Stevens † Sallie Tilsdale
Kris Vervaecke † Patricia Williams

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Memoir, Family, Gender Studies, Essays

256 pages, Paperback

First published May 3, 1999

Reviews

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the differing stories and viewpoints offered in this collection of essays about mothers -- all kinds of mothers -- learning to raise and live with and love those mysterious creatures, sons. The essays range from funny to bittersweet to inspiring; they are engaging and moving. There is a feminist worldview in the background of many of these stories, which I appreciated. Overall it was refreshing amd enlightening to read about other mothers grappling with the same issues I worry about -- and interesting, and sad, to read of those with issues I will never face.

[Sonya Feher · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sports, cars, Star Trek, feet, military, differing politics, growing up and letting go are just some of the topics covered in these essays. Patricia Stevens edited this book after her sons were grown and the essays in the collection reflect this. Being at the beginning of parenting a son, reading about the years of experience and the milestones that we’ve yet to reach is fascinating and scary, though it’s tempting to believe we won’t face these challenges. The mothers share stories most of us wouldn’t even tell to good friends. They’re brave in what they reveal. Real stand-outs for me include “Scars” by Sallie Tisdale about her son’s gradual pulling away as he grows up, “Fourteen” by Kris Vervaecke about the death of one of her son’s friends, “Little Nomad” by Naomi Shihab Nye about traveling with her young son, “Jonathan Bing” by Priscilla Leigh McKinley about raising her son after she’s gone blind during childbirth, and “Safe as Houses” by Robb Forman Dew about her son telling her he’s gay.

[Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderfully eclectic and often moving collection of stories. Some of the writing from unknown (to me) authors was nothing short of spectacular. In fact, I was stunned by the high quality of the writing from cover to cover. One story, by a diabetic woman who became blind as a result of her disease during childbirth, stood out as especially unforgettable and gut wrenching. The intensely personal nature of the stories and the incredible, consistent talent of the writers combine for a truly satisfying read.

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

Being the mother of 4 sons myself, I really appreciated the perspective that this book gave me. I loved the intro by Patricia Stevens and my favorite story was "Watching Star Trek with Dylan" because I could relate. Not every story was the best but there are enough treasures in there to make it worth the read.

[Cindy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a book that offers different perspectives of what raising a son is like. Some of the stories I resonated with, others not so much. But what I really enjoyed was reading how other mothers felt.

[Marta · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the stories, all so different and so completely touching. Each story affected me differently. Would recommend this to ANY mother, but especially mothers of boys.