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Urban Fruit
On Picking Fruit: A Novel
Although he was born gay, Curtis Jenkins has trouble picking fruit. Now a successful middle-aged New York City writer, he is still searching for that elusive man of his dreams. Unfortunately, Curtis has already formed a self-destructive pattern of choosing all the wrong men in all the wrong places.
After a bizarre yet comical attempt at suicide, Curtis becomes a reluctant patient of the aging and eccentric psychiatrist Dr. Magda Tunick. Her gruff and unethical approach to therapy relentlessly pushes him to explore the real reasons why he hasn't found love and helps him to discover the important qualities he desires in a man.
Eager to help Curtis on his quest to find his true soul mate is his irreverent and unpredictable mother, Mrs. J., and his incorrigible best friend and soap opera writer, Quinn.
Will Curtis discover who and what he truly wants in his life? While he barely survives dates that are funny, frightening, sexy and even shocking, Curtis may just uncover the fortitude to fine Mr. Right (or even Mr. Pretty Close).
After a bizarre yet comical attempt at suicide, Curtis becomes a reluctant patient of the aging and eccentric psychiatrist Dr. Magda Tunick. Her gruff and unethical approach to therapy relentlessly pushes him to explore the real reasons why he hasn't found love and helps him to discover the important qualities he desires in a man.
Eager to help Curtis on his quest to find his true soul mate is his irreverent and unpredictable mother, Mrs. J., and his incorrigible best friend and soap opera writer, Quinn.
Will Curtis discover who and what he truly wants in his life? While he barely survives dates that are funny, frightening, sexy and even shocking, Curtis may just uncover the fortitude to fine Mr. Right (or even Mr. Pretty Close).
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First published April 25, 2005
32 people want to read
About the author
Arthur Wooten
9 books41 followersAndrew Wooten has written for theater, film & television, he currently resides in NYC
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
August 22, 2012
Arthur Wooten, a man with an incredible sense of humor, has written a hysterically funny romp through a man's quest to find someone to love that isn't insane, self-absorbed or just a hopeless mess.
When a cocktail of prescription medications have a side-effect that causes Curtis Jenkins to attempt a suicide that failed, and incidentally was probably the most half-assed suicide attempt the hospital has ever seen, his mother and long time gay friend Quinn, begin a campaign to find someone for Curtis to love.
After much badgering by the pair, Curtis gives in, finally seeking the help of an off-the-wall psychiatrist. She has a rather radical form of treatment that causes Curtis to reach outside of his protective little box. As a result a comedy of errors begins to play out. It’s a wonder the man is able to make it out of the world of online dating and blind dates from the personal ads, with some of the craziest gays he will ever meet.
I found myself laughing so much that I had tears in my eyes at several situations the lead character Curtis Jenkins found himself in the center of. There are some moments that will tug at hearts of readers throughout the book to balance out the craziness. Curtis’s mother is larger than life and I’m sure each and every one of Arthur’s readers will be able to relate to her in some way or another. Curtis’s bestie Quinn is that kind of friend that gets on your nerves and makes you love him all at the same time.
On Picking Fruit is Arthur Wooten’s first novel. Since its release he has written and released four other novels, one of which is a children’s book. Also a playwright, his works include the award winning Birthday Pie, which had its world premiere at the Waterfront Playhouse, Key West, FL. His one act plays, Lily and The Lunch, have been produced Off-Off Broadway and most recently in Te Anau, New Zealand. For two years he has been the humorist for the London based magazine, reFRESH.
"On Picking Fruit" is a five star read that I should be able to give ten stars to...it's that good! You will be reading into the wee hours of the morning and every minute you can sneak through the day. Make sure to share it with your friends so they’ll know what you were laughing at while you had your nose in the book!
Disclaimer: The author sent me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Thanks Arthur!
When a cocktail of prescription medications have a side-effect that causes Curtis Jenkins to attempt a suicide that failed, and incidentally was probably the most half-assed suicide attempt the hospital has ever seen, his mother and long time gay friend Quinn, begin a campaign to find someone for Curtis to love.
After much badgering by the pair, Curtis gives in, finally seeking the help of an off-the-wall psychiatrist. She has a rather radical form of treatment that causes Curtis to reach outside of his protective little box. As a result a comedy of errors begins to play out. It’s a wonder the man is able to make it out of the world of online dating and blind dates from the personal ads, with some of the craziest gays he will ever meet.
I found myself laughing so much that I had tears in my eyes at several situations the lead character Curtis Jenkins found himself in the center of. There are some moments that will tug at hearts of readers throughout the book to balance out the craziness. Curtis’s mother is larger than life and I’m sure each and every one of Arthur’s readers will be able to relate to her in some way or another. Curtis’s bestie Quinn is that kind of friend that gets on your nerves and makes you love him all at the same time.
On Picking Fruit is Arthur Wooten’s first novel. Since its release he has written and released four other novels, one of which is a children’s book. Also a playwright, his works include the award winning Birthday Pie, which had its world premiere at the Waterfront Playhouse, Key West, FL. His one act plays, Lily and The Lunch, have been produced Off-Off Broadway and most recently in Te Anau, New Zealand. For two years he has been the humorist for the London based magazine, reFRESH.
"On Picking Fruit" is a five star read that I should be able to give ten stars to...it's that good! You will be reading into the wee hours of the morning and every minute you can sneak through the day. Make sure to share it with your friends so they’ll know what you were laughing at while you had your nose in the book!
Disclaimer: The author sent me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Thanks Arthur!
April 11, 2013
Curtis is a 40 something gay man living in Manhattan who though being "born gay" has never had a steady boyfriend. After an accidental overdose (on Beano?) which is deemed a suicide attempt, Curtis is required to see a therapist and on the recommendation of his Cali friend Quinn starts seeing an octogenarian polish woman with a cranky dog and a dating philosophy for Curtis to follow.
What ensues is a catalogue of disastrous dates and dream boy stories that will have every gay man of a certain age, snickering, comparing scars, and thinking, "Oh, I can top that!"
Whether it's Runway, the macho hairdresser who unexpectedly becomes "la femme fatale" once outside work, or the horny (and bendy) 21 year old Japanese boy who tells you as he takes you to "his" place that he likes older men but who conveniently forgets to tell you that he still lives with mom & dad, or the cheapskate narcoleptic boy with buns of steel who admits to being "on the clock" just before he nods off...
Well, you get the picture. The book is funny and well written but I think I would have enjoyed it more had I not lived stories so close to these during my Manhattan dating years. One story that takes place inside a thinly veiled substitute for the Townhouse even paralleled one of my favorite stories from that time. Seems I was in a hustler bar (it WAS the closest bar to where my friend an ex-hustler worked) and I was asked if I was working. Like Curtis in this book, I was equal parts flattered and appalled.
By all means, if this sort of "adventure tale" appeals to you, then you could do worse than this book. I enjoyed it, even the celebrashing ("He looked just like a straight Ricky Martin" "You sound like a female Eartha Kitt")
What ensues is a catalogue of disastrous dates and dream boy stories that will have every gay man of a certain age, snickering, comparing scars, and thinking, "Oh, I can top that!"
Whether it's Runway, the macho hairdresser who unexpectedly becomes "la femme fatale" once outside work, or the horny (and bendy) 21 year old Japanese boy who tells you as he takes you to "his" place that he likes older men but who conveniently forgets to tell you that he still lives with mom & dad, or the cheapskate narcoleptic boy with buns of steel who admits to being "on the clock" just before he nods off...
Well, you get the picture. The book is funny and well written but I think I would have enjoyed it more had I not lived stories so close to these during my Manhattan dating years. One story that takes place inside a thinly veiled substitute for the Townhouse even paralleled one of my favorite stories from that time. Seems I was in a hustler bar (it WAS the closest bar to where my friend an ex-hustler worked) and I was asked if I was working. Like Curtis in this book, I was equal parts flattered and appalled.
By all means, if this sort of "adventure tale" appeals to you, then you could do worse than this book. I enjoyed it, even the celebrashing ("He looked just like a straight Ricky Martin" "You sound like a female Eartha Kitt")
August 30, 2024
Beautifully written. At times a bit repetitive, but seemingly deliberately so, in a way that builds a web of inside jokes with the reader..
February 14, 2015
"Not Ripe, Too Ripe, Hard To Find One Just Right"
Late at night, laying in bed, I started reading this story. It grabbed me quickly that I was fearful I'd wake-up hubby if I let out a very big laugh! It is so, so humorous! Curtis Jenkins is born breach and from that first day, Curtis' mother knows he is gay and is very proud of her gay boy, also very protective. At age ten, his mother is still sharing his birth story with anyone and everyone at the local grocery store. He's proud to know he was born and came out of the closet at the same time. At age 15 he has problems of understanding what motivates the ejaculation of sperm. It is a confusing mystery. With the help of 'Ken' he suddenly has an understanding as he slips on a roof, mystery is solved! As he gets older, it's not the easiest to exist as a gay and finding another gay friend. That is until a trip north to the Adirondack Mountains at a summer stock musical. He is a local man ... a farmer, a carpenter, chef, and a poet. Curtis is crazy about him and believes his farmer will be his happily ever after. But his friend's mother cannot be won over. He finds out the hard way that her son is her lover! Back to New York City Curtis runs, searching for a psychiatrist! This story is so funny, but I realize, in real life, it's difficult not only to be open about one's sexual preference, but also difficult to find a partner who wants a longtime, secure, honest relationship. This story is very well written and I found it very compelling, with well defined characters. It does reflect the emotional hardships one can go through. But, again, laughter keeps us going and so does the creativity of author Arthur Wooten. I've read most all his books and strongly recommend them to understanding adults.
Late at night, laying in bed, I started reading this story. It grabbed me quickly that I was fearful I'd wake-up hubby if I let out a very big laugh! It is so, so humorous! Curtis Jenkins is born breach and from that first day, Curtis' mother knows he is gay and is very proud of her gay boy, also very protective. At age ten, his mother is still sharing his birth story with anyone and everyone at the local grocery store. He's proud to know he was born and came out of the closet at the same time. At age 15 he has problems of understanding what motivates the ejaculation of sperm. It is a confusing mystery. With the help of 'Ken' he suddenly has an understanding as he slips on a roof, mystery is solved! As he gets older, it's not the easiest to exist as a gay and finding another gay friend. That is until a trip north to the Adirondack Mountains at a summer stock musical. He is a local man ... a farmer, a carpenter, chef, and a poet. Curtis is crazy about him and believes his farmer will be his happily ever after. But his friend's mother cannot be won over. He finds out the hard way that her son is her lover! Back to New York City Curtis runs, searching for a psychiatrist! This story is so funny, but I realize, in real life, it's difficult not only to be open about one's sexual preference, but also difficult to find a partner who wants a longtime, secure, honest relationship. This story is very well written and I found it very compelling, with well defined characters. It does reflect the emotional hardships one can go through. But, again, laughter keeps us going and so does the creativity of author Arthur Wooten. I've read most all his books and strongly recommend them to understanding adults.
June 30, 2011
Wooten has a knack for making the gay man's plight for love seem fresh. Too many times, I've read gay authors who attempt humor for the sake of humor and it seems forced and repeated. Everything that happened to Curtis Jenkins as he was looking for mister right made me laugh (sometimes literally outloud) and turn the page to see what would happen next. Though I've been in a loving relationship for years, I still related to the story and to the many places in the book. (Even my old neighborhood on Amsterdam Ave in NYC got a nice little shout-out.) Wooten's style is very clever without getting tired or bogged down. The perfect summer cocktail read! Speaking of cocktail...guess it's time I read the sequel to this book "Fruit Cocktail."
July 5, 2008
Curtis is a single, 45-year-old HIV+ hunk who hasn't been on a date in ages. Per the advice of his psychiatrist, who insists he go on at least 2 dates between each bi-weekly session, Curtis encounters a Liza impersonator, a 21-year-old who still lives at home with his parents, and a butch hairdresser who turns out to be anything but (to name just a few). The results are always hilarious, and it certainly doesn't help his ego when his mother decides to come out as a lesbian and meets her match almost immediately. A fun, fast and enjoyable read.
August 25, 2012
Arthur Wooten has such style in writing that he picks you up from your chair and carries you away with him in this fast-paced romp of a gay man's search for the right 'fruit'. One can simply look at the publication date to see this man has longevity and that he knows what he is doing. People such as myself still discovering Curtis years after the book first appeared. I can't recommend it enough! Funny yet touching. One you will not want to be put down until you've completed it.
November 25, 2011
A fun and frothy romp! Looking for a fast and sassy read, full of laughs and good cheer? "On Picking Fruit" delivers all this, and more, as the lead character searches for love in NY, only to encounter everyones worst dating nightmares. Whether you are a romantic or the most cynical of readers, "On Picking Fruit" will leave you with a smile on your face and hope in your heart.
February 12, 2016
Read this between Dallas and San Francisco. One lonely man's quest to find the perfect lover, and he finds him when he least expects to find him. Arthur has a skill of humorous storytelling. Very entertaining. I'd read it. (Well. I read it!)
September 9, 2009
A fun book to read. Has given me hope in finding a great man.
May 10, 2011
Excellent read, very funny, kept me awake at night, laughing. The search for a suitable partner is a universal theme, so no matter your orientation, what Arthur writes about hits home.
April 16, 2008
You will love Curtis Jenkins.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews