For the Family's Sake

by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay

For many of us the word home brings warm thoughts and happy memories--far more than the dictionary's simple definition of "a place of birth or one's living quarters." For many of us, home is where the heart is.

Yet it is even than that. It is the secure environment that allows our hearts to develop. A haven of growth, quiet, and rest. The place where we love and are loved. Sadly though, this kind of home is beginning to disappear as our busy society turns homes into houses where related people abide, but where there is no "heart."

With a desire to help you nurture your family's heart, Susan Schaeffer Macaulay presents a clear blueprint for constructing a home that survives the variety of situations that you face in modern life. With Jesus Christ as the foundation, using tools such as common sense, realism, and traditions, you can build a secure, loving environment where every member of your family can flourish.

Genres: Parenting, Family, Nonfiction, Christian, Christian Living, Education, Marriage

288 pages, Paperback

First published September 16, 1999

About the author

Susan Schaeffer Macaulay grew up in Switzerland at L'Abri Fellowship, which was founded by her parents Francis and Edith Schaeffer. She and her husband Ranald Macaulay established and led the L'Abri branch in England for several years. She is also the author of For the Family's Sake and contributed to Books Children Love and When Children Love to Learn.

Reviews

[Kaley Fry]

A lovely book! Probably the thing that will stick with me after reading this is the idea of making forgiveness (both the asking for and extending) the foundation of your family culture. So easy to start the day with a sense of striving, and I love how this puts the brakes on grasping for perfection. We will mess up. Every day! And just as Christ continually receives and restores us, we can do the same for each other.

Also appreciated the dignity and purpose the author gives to the care of young children, since that is the season of life I am in right now!

"Loving God comes first. His light and life slowly can transform our everyday, ordinary round of human life. With his pure goodness comes increased contentment in every part of life. His love and forgiveness can heal our hurts substantially over time; we gradually enjoy our fellow human beings more as we should

Because of His joy and peace, we are ready to live our lives faithfully in our 'everyday', whatever that means for us. The ordinary has been blessed. It is good. Faithfulness 'in my small corner' helps redeem life. This we find 'the glory of the usual.' Here we find true greatness" (Ch. 14, final page of the book).

[Lauren Fee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a gem. Like many Charlotte Mason educators, I first read Susan Schaefer Macaulay’s “For the Childrens Sake” years ago and it helped cast a vision in my mind of what a Charlotte Mason Education would look like. It’s a book I plan to revisit now that I have more understanding and experience. I am sure it would feel like an old friend. I was not prepared for how much I would love this book. I think it is the new queen of my book category for homemaking and by reading it at this stage in my life and experience, it already felt like an old friend. I am not sure it would have if I would have ready earlier on. She uses the Charlotte Mason principle of “Education being an atmosphere, discipline, and life” and applies it to homemaking. Homemaking is an atmosphere, a discipline, and a life. This creates a rough backbone of where she goes, but what she addresses is varied and could go on forever and ever because life in a home is a story that weaves together so many threads into its fabric. The pages are filled with so much truth, common sense, and sound advice. I am thankful she wrote this later on in life. It felt like the right perspective to have looking back when you are no longer in the weeds, but she also still remembered the practicalities that made it practical to me today. I commonplaced endlessly and felt confirmed in my choices to give up my pharmacy career and be content to be a keeper of my home, affirmed that homes matter, and exhorted me to continue striving to create a life giving home for my own family and for that framework I create to bleed out into the community in love towards others. Home indeed is a place to “put your feet up and thank God” and can be a refuge to others, but it is vital to have one give a great deal of attention to this vital task in order for this to happen. I heartily recommend this book.

[Samantha · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many people mention how For the Children's Sake inspired their educational choice (lead to CM), that I was a little surprised that many had not mentioned For the Family's Sake. What a wonderful read. Inspired to make home life what is should be for all-married, single, young and old. I wonder what Susan would say about our communities and society today 20 yrs after she wrote this book. I would love to sit and chat with her- so much wisdom.

Quotes:

Homes need the right atmosphere, discipline, and life.

Many people don't seem to realize how much children need peace and quiet as well as activity.

A television screen has no place here, for we are the ones living Life.

Entertainment is one area where self-discipline must be exercised and choices must be made.

Life can actually be simple and sweet, even in our rushing age that smells to often of diesel fuel. Let us slow down a bit! We're not programed to choose to waste our time looking at or playing at "virtual" life rather than investing ourselves in flesh-and-blood relationships! It's our real life that matters.

We won't always like the choices we've made. We won't always like our resulting situations. We dream of a pot-of-gold life at the end of a rainbow! This tendency is like waiting for something good to happen and forgetting we need to put in hard work, effort, and time to obtain the results we'd like. Instead we need to watch for success along the way and develop patience, skill, and wisdom. Bit by bit change can come with prayer and perseverance.

Satisfaction means carrying through with the situation that is our life, just where we are.

[Lexy Sauve · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think I enjoyed this even more than For the Children’s Sake. There’s tons of practical things we immediately implemented when the boys were two and just a baby that we’ve stuck with as a result of this book.

[Sarah Fowler Wolfe · Rating 4 out of 5]

This avoided many pitfalls I assumed it would have! A sweet study on Christian family life, particularly if you lean toward Charlotte Mason.

[Elaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took me a year and a half, but I finished another book in my slow-motion Schaeffer family 5×5 category: five books by Edith, Francis, or Susan spread over at least five years! Susan Schaeffer Macaulay paints a beautiful picture of a home serving the family, the church, and the community well. I highly recommend reading this—perhaps taking a chapter a month alone or with a book group. I only regret that there isn’t an audiobook version. Crossway really needs to get on that!

[Grace Eells · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a wonderful inspiring book! I want to reference my highlights often for encouragement and renewed vision for our home! I think one of my biggest takeaways was the need for rhythms (routine, structure) in a home! Behind rhythms are the ability to spontaneously bless a neighbor in need, to require discipline and joyful obedience from all who live in it, to enjoy quality food around the dinner table, to have capacity to foster rich relationships, to invest in celebrating the special holidays as well as the daily victories, to enjoy the beauty and freedom of creation and life within the structure, to meditate on Christ who is the center of all things, to build a pattern of obedience to His commands! Someone has to be home, cultivating this space! Cultivating this atmosphere of peace and joy that comes from Christ through the practical living in a home!

[Abigail Stacy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book—definitely more than For the Children’s Sake.
Macaulay described this book as her imaginary conversations between herself and Charlotte Mason. That was an accurate description. It flowed and rambled but all of it was really good and interesting.
I think my biggest takeaway is that we as parents “should make sensible use of a child’s circumstances (atmosphere), should train them in habits of good living (discipline) and seek to nourish their minds with ideas—the food of intellectual life.”
Macaulay thoughts on how these three elements of what makes up education (atmosphere, discipline, and life) play out in the home was helpful to consider.
I’ll probably reread this book every couple of years to be reminded and encouraged in this work.
This book also is helping my desire to read Charlotte Masons six volumes to be greater than my overwhelm.

[Rita L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another recent re-read as a grandmother. I used to read this one for enjoyment over Christmas break for several years in a row. Like her mother’s books, this is both worldview-shaping AND inspirational. Highly recommend.

[Karyn Hall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Put into words and fleshed out more clearly the vision I already had for my home (from experiencing this kind of rich, life-giving home in the flesh!). She gave some arguments, but mostly just painted an inspiring picture of what it could look like. The bit on "daily patterns of living" - particularly her point about a "balanced life" has been immediately helpful! Also love that she prescribes this rich home life for ALL, single, married, young, and old. Four stars because it was longer than it needed to be and not super organized information, as books like this often are. But if you enjoy the kind of book that feels like sitting down to a hot drink and conversation with the author, maybe you won't mind :) and I'd say Susan Schaeffer Macaulay is a good one to listen to for a while!

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very enjoyable read. With such a busy daily life of homeschooling, private schooling, various kids in various activities, and community volunteer/service work, I longed to read her book to gain more wisdom, direction, and encouragement in slowing down and having better priorities that will benefit my family and community. Her book is a breath of fresh air to “go back” to slower days and more pouring into our family and community, to set our children on wholesome paths, and influence our society for the better, not by being shallow or “pushy” spiritually, but by having (and making) the time to build relationships with those around us, regardless of how similar or different we are.

[Stacy Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved Susan’s book For the Children’s Sake so I was super excited to find out that she had written another book. While the beginning of the book (Chapters 1-3) was a good introduction and had some good tidbits the rest was repetitive to me. I will say though this would be an excellent book for a newly married wife or someone about to have their first baby. This is for the family who’s just “setting up” their home and looking to establish rhythms and order to their home.

[Angela Brito · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were nuggets of truth and tips for homemaking that I did enjoy when I read this book, but I couldn’t get past how tediously written this was. It suffered from need of editing and probably could be boiled down to a book half its length or even a collection of blog posts. Opening it up was a chore to read. I couldn’t enjoy the authors writing style so it hindered the book from having much of an impact on me.

[Rebekah · Rating 5 out of 5]

A warm, inspiring, and practical book about the atmosphere of a Christian home and how to recover some of the good and simple and traditional things we have lost with recent generations. Anyone who resonates with Charlotte Mason’s philosophies will find this a compelling and worthwhile read. The author’s father is Francis Schaeffer.

[Meredith Kidd · Rating 2 out of 5]

The idea of this book is great but was not executed well. Very few tidbits that I took away and will implement. I think half of the chapters could have been cut, especially the last two 😬 but I appreciate content on homemaking as it really does seem to be a last art nowadays.

[Kristi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was encouraging and inspired me to make my home more valuable. Her writing is a bit unorganized, but it appeared that she places high importance on the home and how children are raised.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started to read this book years ago but don't think I ever finished it. There is a bookmark on page 111. Unfortunately, I had not highlighted this book like I've done in others so I am reading this from the beginning and highlighting it. I can already see that this will be another book to keep for review and re-read about once a year..krb 2/3/16

Great book that will be read for review, hopefully once a year..krb 2/16/16

Reading this book again and love it even more. changing from 4 stars to 5 stars and I'm not even done! Read a passage to my family on page 147 and 149 of how I want our family vision to look like. Jacob stopped me halfway through and said "Mom! that's the same author of How to Be Your Own Selfish Pig! yep....then I noticed he paid a little more attention to what I was reading out loud :)...krb 9/12/19

[Kristin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although I found parts of this books to be repetitive and at times preachy, there was a lot of practical encouragement and reminders that the day-to-day grind really does matter, and even the mundane can be beautiful.

A couple changes I've already made, thanks to this book:

*Invited the children to come and help with preparing supper. (They are so proud to announce at the table what they did to prep our food.)

*Have an all together book time before bed. (We had been doing individual books with each, but this has already turned into a special quiet time together after the baby's asleep.)

*Renewed purpose to spend more time outside.

[forthefamilyssake Hailey White · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm in my 39th year of life, and my 10th year as a mother. If only I had read this book when I first left home in college. Instead of creating a home, even as a young single person, I floundered not knowing what truly made a home. This book details every imaginable aspect of the home. While there is a bit of practical advice throughout, the treasury of it is found in the philosophies described in detail.

[Krystal Medlock · Rating 4 out of 5]

LOVED the content of this book! Her writing style was a little disjointed (imo) as it seemed she jumped around quite a bit within the chapters. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed her thoughts and perspectives on homemaking and family life.

[CJ Bowen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full of gentle wisdom. Enamored of Charlotte Mason. Not written by a foodie.

[Lerato Ramotsamai · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gives an inspiring vision for all that the home can be. Reading the book felt like being mentored by an older, wiser woman.

[Elena · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read Susan's book on the Charlotte Mason education philosophy, called For the Children's Sake, several years ago and then re-read it within a year, and I think I want to re-read it again soon. So, I was curious what Susan wrote about in this similarly titled book written later in her life. Daughter of Francis and Edith Schaeffer (I love Edith's The Art of Homemaking), she grew up in a beautiful community in Switzerland where her family invited people into their home to dive into God's Word and learn to live it out. Later, she and her husband, Ranald were commissioned to England to start another branch of this vibrant community, L'Abri. Over the years, they looked into Charlotte Mason's teachings on education and adopted them for their home education, while also cultivating a life-giving and welcoming home environment in the many different buildings they called home. In this book, Susan deep dives into what home is, how everyone in the home (and those who visit it) can be blessed by your home, and so many topics relating to creating an atmosphere in your home that honors God and people. Published in 1999, I am amazed at how relatable it still felt. A lot of writers have since dug into these topics a lot since that time, so some of it felt repetitive to me, which is no fault of Susan's, just a reminder that I read a lot of books about the value of home (like Habits of a Sacred Home by Jennifer Pepito and Domestic Monastary by Ronald Rolheiser). For example, she warned against the dangers of too much screen time; twenty-five years later, this is still a hot topic and one that needs to be evaluated by each family. She praises the benefits of time in nature and gave great suggestions to making it fun for kids. Now there are many books on the same topic with updated information for our changing times (my favorite is Ginny Yurich's 1000 Hours Podcast and book, Until the Streetlights Come On). So while I didn't get a ton of new information, I did still appreciate her opinion and how many of her suggestions could still be applied two decades later. As an older mom now with grandkids, as well as with her interesting upbringing and influential family, I had plenty to learn from her. The ways she was able to build a home atmosphere amidst the busyness of a ministry was inspiring. I enjoyed it overall, but it didn't leave quite the same mark on me as her first book.

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Okay, it’s not like I didn’t know what I was getting into with this book: a trad wife tome on homemaking before “trad wife” was a term, and from a Christian publisher.

Although I might be one happy little homemaker at heart, I differ from Macaulay in that I really, really, really think that one need not fit a particular mold to be a good one.

Macaulay offers a great deal of brilliance that ought to resonate for just about anyone: loving, safe homes are crucial and it is a tragedy that any person may not have one, routines and order are foundational to thriving, time spent in nature is swell, play is the important work of childhood, leisure and rest are necessary, overscheduling is lethal, meals together around the table are a cornerstone of family life. No arguments here, and Shaeffer makes a convincing case for all of this. Alas, as one would expect from the Christian homemaking genre, women who work outside the home = bad (although how many women’s careers have been built by telling other women to stay home?), same-sex partners = bad, unmarried partners dwelling together = bad, and we even get a couple weird, off-topic rants on abortion.

Take all that needlessly divisive stuff out, and this would be a five-star book.

Side note: I kind of wanted to add a star for Macaulay's somewhat out-of-the blue tip to skip fruit pies and make crumbles instead, because pie crust is too time-consuming and you know what? People like crumbles fine. I laughed, literally out loud, because I agree, and she was clearly a woman who’d had it with making pie crust.

In short? I really liked the book. I’m serious! I genuinely enjoyed it. I just detest how deliberately exclusionary folks like Macaulay make this topic. It’s like fabulous wisdom is hidden behind a barbed, electric fence. You need to conform before the gate will open, before it applies to YOU. Phssst.

[Joanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really great summary of different parenting/family-ing books based on Christian/common sense principles. I would say the common sense shined equally to brighter than the Christian aspect. Though the book has many biblical references.

I enjoyed hearing about the authors experience living in Switzerland and how that guided her parenting and upbringing.

My favorite part was referencing how the Dutch celebrate St. Nicks day on December 6 with chocolate and presents, leaving the two weeks leading up to Easter and Christmas lived simply to enjoy the true spirit of the season.

She gave SO many references to other books, so I will be keeping this one on my shelf to read the scores of other books she mentioned.

[Shaina Perkkio · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really took my time with this one and over the course of a month, I highlighted, tabbed, reflected on, and nodded my head along with the concepts and techniques in this book. So much of it was encouraging and reinforced my own views. I was however, surprised to find that it was written in the 90s as the writing and narrative voice comes across as old fashioned or dated at times. There were definitely moments where I felt judgement for choices I know are right for my family. I also wish there was more of an organized structure. Again, a lot of great information, but it’s one you have to sift through and take with a grain of salt. Great for those interested in the Charlotte Mason approach and/or those with younger children.

[Hannah Garrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is something I will be rereading multiple times! Half of my book is highlighted. This book is such a great foundation for any family that might need some guidance on how to build their routines and home. Highly recommend this book to any and all Christian families who are open to these sorts of ideas.

I will say; she doesn’t go into extreme details on a SPECIFIC routine (because she really emphasizes that each house and family is different) so this won’t paint an EXACT portrait of how to live. Which can be refreshing for those who may feel overwhelmed when presented a “routine to follow”.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspirational and encouraging read for moms and all homemakers alike. I’ve always felt that it there’s a job to be done it should be done well. I never considered how homemaker should be viewed similarly. This is a great resource to encourage families to stay the course of a slow, quiet, peaceful like that revolves around the home. I plan to reference in order to keep these ideas fresh.

[Anna Garmoe · Rating 4 out of 5]

My biggest takeaways summed up throughout “For the Family’s Sake”…..

“Because of His grace, we can choose to live faithful everyday lives - the ordinary has been blessed. It’s been called “good.” We fulfill the glory of the usual in our small corners of the world as we practice being the sweet strength of everyday life and tend our home fires with faith and exuberant joy.”

[Emily Kyes · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is like sitting down with an older Christian woman over tea and just listening to her talk about everything she’s learned. It’s full of stories and beautiful lessons. But unfortunately because of the meandering writing style, I lost interest quite a few times and had a hard time following her train of thought. Maybe it would be better as an audiobook? 3.5 stars rounded up