The Smiths: The Complete Story

by Mick Middles

Book by Middles, Mick

Genres: Music, Nonfiction, Biography

128 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 1988

Reviews

[Mariel]

I'm going to answer some rhetorical questions from songs by The Smiths.
A rush and a push and the land that we stand on is ours. It has been before so why can't it be now?
I think someone stuck a flag in it. Or one of those little paper umbrellas.
Anything is hard to find when you will not open your eyes. When will you accept yourself?
When?
When you do.
Nature is a language, can't you read?
I asked you! A crack on the head is what I got for asking.
Are you still there? Or have you moved away?
I'm still here.
What do you see in her?
She probably doesn't ask questions.
All those people all those lives where are they now?
Idiot, he answered that one himself. I want to cry.
Where does his intentions lay? Or does he even have any?
I know because he said so.
Do you really think she'll pull through?
I would bet no, if I were a betting woman.
But oh my darling why did you change
Shit Golden Lights is in my head now.
I like it here - can I stay? And, do you have a vacancy for a Back-scrubber?"
Yes!
And when we're in your scholarly room who will swallow whom?
Who's on top? I mean, who's on first? D'oh. I'm doing it wrong.
In my life why do I give valuable time to people who don't care if I live or die?
Because I don't care much if I live or die. My time isn't valuable, etc.
In my life why do I smile at people who I'd much rather kick in the eye?
"My smile is a rifle."
How can you say I go about things the wrong way?
Never, Mozfather! Everybody wants you (Jeff Buckley totally sang that for you).
When you say it's gonna happen "now" Well, when exactly do you mean?
Methinks they were hitting on you.
See, the sea wants to take me the knife wants to slit me do you think you can help me?
The ground wants to open up and swallow me whole (only it doesn't when I want it to). I've got my own problems.
"If you're so funny then why are you on your own tonight? And if you're so clever
then why are you on your own tonight? If you're so very entertaining then why are you on your own tonight? If you're so very good looking why do you sleep alone tonight?
Probably because I'm answering rhetorical The Smiths lyrics on goodreads. Who would want a retard like that?
Has the Perrier gone straight to my head or is life sick and cruel, instead?
Yes.
Is it really so strange?
No way, Jose.
So how can you call this a home when you know it's a grave?
I was ejected from my own grave.
So, tell me how long before the last one? And tell me how long before the right one?
Every damned night.
And do you think you've made the right decision this time?
I don't make decisions.
When will you die?
I'm tired too.
How quickly would I die if I jumped from the top of the parachutes?
If your name was Margaret, considerably longer.
Do you know how animals die?
Yes. I know about the birds and the killer bees.
You could have walked away...couldn't you?
Sadly, this is our lives.
In the corner of your room can you hear me?
I um never finally lived. I'm doing this!
Is it wrong to want to live on your own?
No.
How can someone so young sing words so sad?
I was too busy curtsying while I was thinking to save time. Would taking a bow help?
Does the body rule the mind or does the mind rule the body?
My body rules my mind. It's a stupid meat suit. My stupid sister says that it is both. She's just a defective twin clone of me, anyway. What does she know? She knows more than me.
Am I still ill?
I am. Are you?
Who said I'd lied because I never?
Nancy Sinatra did! Kick her out and make me your eighth friend.
But what's at the back of your mind?
It's too dark. I can't see.
Will you find me?
Find me. Find me! Find me! Find me!
How can they look into my eyes and still they don't believe me?
We lied a lot, before.
Oh has the world changed, or have I changed?
It just looked different through the tequila haze when we found out we were related to Jimmy Buffett.
Will nature make a man of me yet?
Um...
Why ponder life's complexities when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?
Yeah! Wait... leather!?
Well I wonder do you hear me when you sleep?
That's why I always fall out of bed (twice).
What differerence does it make?
None except in slightly lessening ways.
How come someone hasn't noticed that I'm dead and decided to bury me God knows, I'm ready?
My mom told preteen me that I was already dead and should kill myself. She noticed. What was your mama's problem the she of What She Said?
How can you stay with a fat girl who'll say:
"Would you like to marry me and if you like you can buy the ring"?
He's drunk?

[Kathleen · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is much shorter than I had expected and written in 1987 before The Smiths even broke up (my fault for not looking at that info before I bought it).

Mick Middles wrote one of my favorite books about Joy Division, so I expected great things. I'm not even halfway through the book and if I hadn't read the Joy Divison book already I wouldn't ever read another book by Mick. He disparages nearly EVERY other band from the 80s: Ultravox, NIk Kershaw, New Order (I hate New Order, so if it's annoying me, take that seriously), etc.

********

That was my mid-book review. Here are my thoughts after I've finished. Just read Johnny Marr's book.

Unless you are the biggest Moz fan in the world, I'm not sure I'd bother with this book. I mean, the cover says it all. In this case, do, indeed, judge the book by its cover. The Smiths were a four member band, but Moz is the only one picture prominently. Yes, the band is there, in the background darkened out.

Here is a list of musical acts dissed in this book (in addition to the ones listed above): Echo and the Bunnyman, Midge Ure (yes, I know, but he dissed Midge separately), Stevie Wonder, Diana Ross, Whitney Houston (I'm no Whitney fan, but seriously?), The Jam, Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran, Depeche Mode, Bronski Beat, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Billy Bragg, Howard Jones, Foreigner, etc.

Mick also disses just about every music critic/reviewer/reporter from 80s England. People I've never heard of, so I can't judge that, but considering everything else....make your own conclusion.

I'm handing this off to a friend who is a MASSIVE fan of The Smiths.

[☀️CJ☀️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

The beginning was a bit hard to get through, but once conversation about the actual music began, I really started enjoying this book. I liked what the author had to say about each record, and I think the depth in which he explored the controversy surrounding each release was insightful. I think it’s nice to something that wasn’t obviously written by a super fan. Although snippy at times, I think this book was more objective than other Smiths content I’ve read. Most notably, the author was always clear about when he was stating his opinion on a situation rather than reporting the public’s opinion at the time or quoting a journalist. Also the pictures were a nice addition :)!

[Derek Baldwin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this years ago having bagged a review copy. I remember enjoying it a lot but not much else. Maybe I'll reread, having in the meantime read Morrisey's Autobiography (charmingly pretentious, rancorous) and Johnny Marr's (can't remember the title but really well written, compassionate, and the work of A Decent Bloke).

[Sara Bellum · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting facts, I love the subject. Just not overly well-written.

[Alec · Rating 4 out of 5]

Appropriately elegant.