What do you think?
Rate this book
They Eat Puppies, Don't They?
In an attempt to gain congressional approval for a top-secret weapons system, Washington lobbyist "Bird" McIntyre teams up with sexy, outspoken neocon Angel Templeton to pit the American public against the Chinese. When Bird fails to uncover an authentic reason to slander the nation, he and Angel put the Washington media machine to work, spreading a rumor that the Chinese secret service is working to assassinate the Dalai Lama.
Meanwhile in China, mild-mannered President Fa Mengyao and his devoted aide Gang are maneuvering desperately against sinister party hard-liners Minister Lo and General Han. Now Fa and Gang must convince the world that the People's Republic is not out to kill the Dalai Lama, while maintaining Fa's small margin of power in the increasingly militaristic environment of the party.
On the home front, Bird must contend with a high-strung wife who entertains Olympic equestrian ambition, and the qualifying competition happens to be taking place in China. As things unravel abroad, Bird and Angel's lie comes dangerously close to reality. And as their relationship rises to a new level, so do mounting tensions between the United States and China.
Meanwhile in China, mild-mannered President Fa Mengyao and his devoted aide Gang are maneuvering desperately against sinister party hard-liners Minister Lo and General Han. Now Fa and Gang must convince the world that the People's Republic is not out to kill the Dalai Lama, while maintaining Fa's small margin of power in the increasingly militaristic environment of the party.
On the home front, Bird must contend with a high-strung wife who entertains Olympic equestrian ambition, and the qualifying competition happens to be taking place in China. As things unravel abroad, Bird and Angel's lie comes dangerously close to reality. And as their relationship rises to a new level, so do mounting tensions between the United States and China.
335 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2012
102 people are currently reading
1203 people want to read
About the author
Christopher Buckley
102 books955 followersChristopher Buckley graduated cum laude from Yale University in 1976. He shipped out in the Merchant Marine and at age 24 became managing editor of Esquire magazine. At age 29, he became chief speechwriter to the Vice President of the United States, George H.W. Bush. Since 1989 he has been founder and editor-in-chief of Forbes Life magazine.
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.
He is the author of twelve books, most of them national bestsellers. They include: The White House Mess, Wet Work, Thank You For Smoking, God Is My Broker, Little Green Men, No Way To Treat a First Lady, Florence of Arabia, Boomsday and Supreme Courtship.
Mr. Buckley has contributed over 60 comic essays to The New Yorker magazine. His journalism, satire and criticism has been widely published—in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, New Republic, Washington Monthly, Vanity Fair, Vogue, Esquire, and other publications. He is the recipient of the 2002 Washington Irving Medal for Literary Excellence. In 2004 he was awarded the Thurber Prize for American Humor.
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.
He is the author of twelve books, most of them national bestsellers. They include: The White House Mess, Wet Work, Thank You For Smoking, God Is My Broker, Little Green Men, No Way To Treat a First Lady, Florence of Arabia, Boomsday and Supreme Courtship.
Mr. Buckley has contributed over 60 comic essays to The New Yorker magazine. His journalism, satire and criticism has been widely published—in The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, New Republic, Washington Monthly, Vanity Fair, Vogue, Esquire, and other publications. He is the recipient of the 2002 Washington Irving Medal for Literary Excellence. In 2004 he was awarded the Thurber Prize for American Humor.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 364 reviews
December 20, 2017
Funny semi political cluster-bump
I think Angel was one of my top favorite characters ever. what a hysterically confident woman!
I think Angel was one of my top favorite characters ever. what a hysterically confident woman!
April 28, 2012
"Well, as we say around here, an ounce of preemption is worth a pound of enriched uranium."
Angel Templeton, Institute for Continuing Conflict
Buckley's back with his usual gang of idiots - meaning Senators, pundits, and other Washington insiders.
It seems that we as a people are just not fearful enough. At least not fearful enough to fund a predator drone the size of the Spruce Goose. The solution? Whip this country into a frenzied fright and blame it on, oh, let's say...China.
And who do you call when you want to rustle up some anti-China sentiment?
Meet Walter "Bird" McIntyre, a defense lobbyist who has somehow managed to make the list of "Washington's Ten Least Despicable Lobbyists". And his big idea? Let's start a rumor that China is planning to assassinate the Dalai Lama. Yeah, that's the ticket!
Chinese officials are not pleased to hear of their impending plans, and immediately begin countermeasures. Let the games begin!
Along the way, Buckley manages to skewer trophy wives, neocons, and even a few Civil War reenactors.
I had loads of fun trying to guess who would have the last laugh.
Angel Templeton, Institute for Continuing Conflict
Buckley's back with his usual gang of idiots - meaning Senators, pundits, and other Washington insiders.
It seems that we as a people are just not fearful enough. At least not fearful enough to fund a predator drone the size of the Spruce Goose. The solution? Whip this country into a frenzied fright and blame it on, oh, let's say...China.
And who do you call when you want to rustle up some anti-China sentiment?
Meet Walter "Bird" McIntyre, a defense lobbyist who has somehow managed to make the list of "Washington's Ten Least Despicable Lobbyists". And his big idea? Let's start a rumor that China is planning to assassinate the Dalai Lama. Yeah, that's the ticket!
Chinese officials are not pleased to hear of their impending plans, and immediately begin countermeasures. Let the games begin!
Along the way, Buckley manages to skewer trophy wives, neocons, and even a few Civil War reenactors.
I had loads of fun trying to guess who would have the last laugh.
December 3, 2021
Definitely recommend. Well-written cerebral humor. Eagerly looking forward to reading this author’s other books.
February 19, 2016
Christopher Buckley novels are usually enjoyable, and “They Eat Puppies, Don’t They?” is no exception. Buckley is at his best when he satirizes the viciousness and callousness that is the culture in Washington DC and this novel is right in his wheelhouse.
The text follows Bird McIntyre, a defense industry lobbyist, who must drum up some anti-China sentiment for his bosses. The plot is more involved than that but this is the basic initial premise. The plot goes off in a quite a few directions from there; most of them fun to follow. A highlight of the text is when some of the characters appear on “Hardball with Chris Matthews”. Those moments where Buckley satirizes what passes for political debate nowadays are hysterical and dead on.
Although I enjoyed “They Eat Puppies, Don’t They?” it is not one of Buckley’s best, and the characters and the humor do start to wear a little thin by the end. The novel feels like Buckley did not know how and where to end it, and the first half is much stronger than the second half.
However, it is a quick and light read and if you don’t expect too much from the book you will enjoy it just fine.
The text follows Bird McIntyre, a defense industry lobbyist, who must drum up some anti-China sentiment for his bosses. The plot is more involved than that but this is the basic initial premise. The plot goes off in a quite a few directions from there; most of them fun to follow. A highlight of the text is when some of the characters appear on “Hardball with Chris Matthews”. Those moments where Buckley satirizes what passes for political debate nowadays are hysterical and dead on.
Although I enjoyed “They Eat Puppies, Don’t They?” it is not one of Buckley’s best, and the characters and the humor do start to wear a little thin by the end. The novel feels like Buckley did not know how and where to end it, and the first half is much stronger than the second half.
However, it is a quick and light read and if you don’t expect too much from the book you will enjoy it just fine.
April 6, 2017
Washington and Beijing Get What They Deserve in This Satirical Novel of Politics and Diplomacy
Put yourself into this picture (as you might if you were reading this book and identifying with its protagonist): Your name is Walter “Bird” McIntyre. You are the leading Washington lobbyist for Groepping-Sprunt, a major arms contractor for the Pentagon. A Senate committee is meeting to consider a huge appropriation for your latest weapons system — an ocean-liner-sized drone aircraft armed with every manner of destructive weaponry known to the military-industrial complex. Testifying on the company’s behalf will not be easy. ”On top of the ‘funding factor’ (Washington-speak for ‘appalling cost overruns’), Bird and Groepping-Sprunt were up against a bit of a ‘perception problem’ (Washington-speak for ‘reality’).” After embarrassing you with hours of pointed questions, does the committee approve the appropriation? No, it does not. And that, for all intents and purposes, is where this tale begins.
With Bird’s job now on the line and the company’s future in doubt because of the huge sums poured into R&D for the oversized drone, Bird’s boss forces him to raise the stakes: find a way to gin up widespread public hatred for China and thus scare Congress into springing for some other overpriced weapons system. Enter Angel Templeton, a mashup of Ann Coulter and Mata Hari; Bird’s fetching young trophy wife, an equestrienne who is bankrupting him with her passion for thoroughbred horses; Bird’s feckless younger brother, Bewks, who wanders around Bird’s house in a Confederate general’s outfit, channeling George Armstrong Custer (sic!), ready for a reenactment of the battle of Gettysburg at a moment’s notice; Rogers P. Fancock, the Boston Brahmin who is reluctantly serving as National Security Advisor; and Chris Matthews of Hardball (yes, by name). Those are the key characters on the U.S. side. A similarly comical collection of Chinese players — mostly the members of the Standing Committee of the Politburo of the Chinese Communist Party — rounds out the cast.
In between the two sides is the 14th Dalai Lama (yes, the current guy). You’ll have to read the book to find out how he gets into the story.
They Eat Puppies, Don’t They? is political satire of the highest order. I found myself laughing hysterically, sometimes for pages at a time. But, like all superior satire, this book isn’t just funny — its droll treatment of politics in Washington and Beijing is spot-on accurate. For example, “Fancock scowled at the top-secret cable from the U.S. ambassador in Beijing alerting him to the development that had been announced on CNN twenty minutes before.”
Christopher Buckley knows whereof he writes. He is the son of the late William F. Buckley, Jr. and has held a number of positions in Washington, including a job as chief speechwriter for Vice President George H. W. Bush. (I will forgive him for all that.) They Eat Puppies, Don’t They? is Buckley’s ninth satirical novel. He has also written several other books, including two travelogues and a biographal portrayal of his parents.
(From www.malwarwickonbooks.com)
Put yourself into this picture (as you might if you were reading this book and identifying with its protagonist): Your name is Walter “Bird” McIntyre. You are the leading Washington lobbyist for Groepping-Sprunt, a major arms contractor for the Pentagon. A Senate committee is meeting to consider a huge appropriation for your latest weapons system — an ocean-liner-sized drone aircraft armed with every manner of destructive weaponry known to the military-industrial complex. Testifying on the company’s behalf will not be easy. ”On top of the ‘funding factor’ (Washington-speak for ‘appalling cost overruns’), Bird and Groepping-Sprunt were up against a bit of a ‘perception problem’ (Washington-speak for ‘reality’).” After embarrassing you with hours of pointed questions, does the committee approve the appropriation? No, it does not. And that, for all intents and purposes, is where this tale begins.
With Bird’s job now on the line and the company’s future in doubt because of the huge sums poured into R&D for the oversized drone, Bird’s boss forces him to raise the stakes: find a way to gin up widespread public hatred for China and thus scare Congress into springing for some other overpriced weapons system. Enter Angel Templeton, a mashup of Ann Coulter and Mata Hari; Bird’s fetching young trophy wife, an equestrienne who is bankrupting him with her passion for thoroughbred horses; Bird’s feckless younger brother, Bewks, who wanders around Bird’s house in a Confederate general’s outfit, channeling George Armstrong Custer (sic!), ready for a reenactment of the battle of Gettysburg at a moment’s notice; Rogers P. Fancock, the Boston Brahmin who is reluctantly serving as National Security Advisor; and Chris Matthews of Hardball (yes, by name). Those are the key characters on the U.S. side. A similarly comical collection of Chinese players — mostly the members of the Standing Committee of the Politburo of the Chinese Communist Party — rounds out the cast.
In between the two sides is the 14th Dalai Lama (yes, the current guy). You’ll have to read the book to find out how he gets into the story.
They Eat Puppies, Don’t They? is political satire of the highest order. I found myself laughing hysterically, sometimes for pages at a time. But, like all superior satire, this book isn’t just funny — its droll treatment of politics in Washington and Beijing is spot-on accurate. For example, “Fancock scowled at the top-secret cable from the U.S. ambassador in Beijing alerting him to the development that had been announced on CNN twenty minutes before.”
Christopher Buckley knows whereof he writes. He is the son of the late William F. Buckley, Jr. and has held a number of positions in Washington, including a job as chief speechwriter for Vice President George H. W. Bush. (I will forgive him for all that.) They Eat Puppies, Don’t They? is Buckley’s ninth satirical novel. He has also written several other books, including two travelogues and a biographal portrayal of his parents.
(From www.malwarwickonbooks.com)
July 18, 2012
I've been a fan of Christopher Buckley's earlier work but this one makes me question why. I'm hoping he just ran out of inspiration or mojo. I read more than half of this novel without laughing out loud once. A couple of semi-chuckles, at occasional lines like "Email is the new herpes; you can never get rid of it." Buckley's subject is U.S.-China relations, which should be funny, should be easy pickins for satire, but mostly what we get is Dalai Lama jokes--again, potentially fertile ground but, in this case, with Buckley's usual Washington insiders and spin doctors rolled out once again to manipulate public perception and international politics, it all somehow falls flat. How many different ways can you use the hospitalization, fatal illness, death, or assassination of the DL to get laughs? My first guess as to the problem with this book? Besides really unlikeable characters and jokes that the author often feels he has to explain? Its satire is unfocused and doesn't reflect anything back of the reader, anything to provoke thought or change. Its only real targets seem to be American PR, which Buckley has done a much better job of skewering in Thank You for Smoking and Boomsday, and militant right-wing nut-jobs, which we can see any time and much more instructively on Fox News. In the case of his leggy blonde militant right-wing nut-job Angel Templeton, though, Buckley seems more enamored than sardonic. Or maybe I've just lost my sense of humor--maybe in my own recent travels to China. Or maybe the mosquitos sucked it all out of me in northern Ontario last week. But I'm packing this one in and trying an antidote, to see if indeed my funny bone has stopped functioning. I just started Ruth Ozeki's My Year of Meats and so far vital signs are good. I am still capable of laughing at good social satire.
February 25, 2015
Satire? Maybe. Some characters are a little over the top. coincidences seem unlikely, but still possible. This is my first C. Buckley novel, but I saw and enjoyed the movie adaptation of Thank You for Smoking, and this is almost a clone.
Major character #1 is the lobbyist for a defense contractor, not quite believable, but close. Imagine a very talented con man, with situational ethics. Major character #2 is the less believable, but possibly real (I lead a sheltered life) woman, a very intelligent/knowledgeable/sexual/aggressive woman who could be an updated character from a James Bond story.
Institutions #1and 2 are the supreme executive bodies of the Chinese and U. S. governments. Institution #3 is a U. S. defense contactor which has come on hard times because the Congressmen believe the U. S. can't afford new weapons systems.
Major character #1's mission is to create a situation that will keep Institution #3 in business. Things get out of hand.
Christopher Buckley is the son of the the iconic conservative commentator, William F. Buckley, Jr. I felt that the author's major influences reflected in this book were the writings of Evelyn Waugh and innumerable personal associations formed as he was raised among the power elite.
This was a fun read, but I doubt if I'll read anymore of CB's work in the near future.
Major character #1 is the lobbyist for a defense contractor, not quite believable, but close. Imagine a very talented con man, with situational ethics. Major character #2 is the less believable, but possibly real (I lead a sheltered life) woman, a very intelligent/knowledgeable/sexual/aggressive woman who could be an updated character from a James Bond story.
Institutions #1and 2 are the supreme executive bodies of the Chinese and U. S. governments. Institution #3 is a U. S. defense contactor which has come on hard times because the Congressmen believe the U. S. can't afford new weapons systems.
Major character #1's mission is to create a situation that will keep Institution #3 in business. Things get out of hand.
Christopher Buckley is the son of the the iconic conservative commentator, William F. Buckley, Jr. I felt that the author's major influences reflected in this book were the writings of Evelyn Waugh and innumerable personal associations formed as he was raised among the power elite.
This was a fun read, but I doubt if I'll read anymore of CB's work in the near future.
July 24, 2012
As always with Chris Buckley, devilish good fun. Buckley is a master of the Washington baroque political farce - densely plotted, charmingly ridiculous, alarmingly possible. In this hysterical comic thriller, various and sundry are plotting the possible assassination of no less than the Dalai Lama - in order to goose demand for domestic military spending. Once you accept the outrageous premise, which I sorta hope is far-fetched, we are off and racing.
Buckley creates wonderfully believable scenarios of utterly ludicrous behavior. He also a master wordsmith, so the book is as much a total delight to read as a narrative exercise. His sense of character, of plotting, or even of the highest echelons of government - all are depicted with a puckish tongue in cheek. If at times it's all a bit precious, he then concocts some even more absurd twist and the whole thing seems deliciously right once again.
I have enjoyed every one of Buckley's series of fictional souffles. This one is no exception.
Buckley creates wonderfully believable scenarios of utterly ludicrous behavior. He also a master wordsmith, so the book is as much a total delight to read as a narrative exercise. His sense of character, of plotting, or even of the highest echelons of government - all are depicted with a puckish tongue in cheek. If at times it's all a bit precious, he then concocts some even more absurd twist and the whole thing seems deliciously right once again.
I have enjoyed every one of Buckley's series of fictional souffles. This one is no exception.
December 17, 2021
I loved this book. A brilliant satire that just gets more wonderful and more absurd with every turn. Great characters, and I'm sad to say, a completely believable premise. If you've never read a book by Mr. Buckley, this would be a great place to start.
October 28, 2025
Here’s something that makes little sense. This book came out in 2012 and I was such a huge Buckley fan that I didn’t read it.
This was probably the height of Buckley’s career and my fandom. I was devouring his books. A film based on his book “Thank You for Smoking” had been made a few years earlier. He was on The Daily Show and other media outlets and talks were that his other novels would soon be adapted to film.
You also have to know a little bit about me in 2012. I would tune in religiously to C-Span’s weekend programming “Book TV”. While it still continues today, I think this was also probably the time frame it had been the most successful. That meant I was watching as many authors and historians talk as my schedule would allow.
It was then that Buckley released “They Eat Puppies, Don’t They” and every press stop he would make, he would read a bit from his book and of course, I tuned in.
So I decided it probably made sense to take a pause so I would forget some of the spoilers. Oh boy, I didn’t mean for it to be this long.
TEPDY somewhat suffers in that Buckley skewering politics in the Obama years, doesn’t take into account how surreal politics would become. There is no way he could have anticipated the Gulf of America, the proposed banning of TikTok or the deployment of the National Guard on American cities.
Truth is not just stranger than fiction, it’s no longer in the same league. That said, the general conceit of this book (let’s find a country to start a war with) was done before and much funnier in the Michael Moore film “Canadian Bacon”.
I also don’t think it’s outrageous to say it’s not his best work. Buckley had just ripped a succession of four novels in the decade prior. This book just didn’t quite deliver as consistently and was not as laugh out loud funny.
That said, it was a fairly quick read with some decent moments and snappy dialogue. Maybe there wasn’t enough material there like he thought there was, or maybe satire is becoming obsolete in this day of outrageousness
This was probably the height of Buckley’s career and my fandom. I was devouring his books. A film based on his book “Thank You for Smoking” had been made a few years earlier. He was on The Daily Show and other media outlets and talks were that his other novels would soon be adapted to film.
You also have to know a little bit about me in 2012. I would tune in religiously to C-Span’s weekend programming “Book TV”. While it still continues today, I think this was also probably the time frame it had been the most successful. That meant I was watching as many authors and historians talk as my schedule would allow.
It was then that Buckley released “They Eat Puppies, Don’t They” and every press stop he would make, he would read a bit from his book and of course, I tuned in.
So I decided it probably made sense to take a pause so I would forget some of the spoilers. Oh boy, I didn’t mean for it to be this long.
TEPDY somewhat suffers in that Buckley skewering politics in the Obama years, doesn’t take into account how surreal politics would become. There is no way he could have anticipated the Gulf of America, the proposed banning of TikTok or the deployment of the National Guard on American cities.
Truth is not just stranger than fiction, it’s no longer in the same league. That said, the general conceit of this book (let’s find a country to start a war with) was done before and much funnier in the Michael Moore film “Canadian Bacon”.
I also don’t think it’s outrageous to say it’s not his best work. Buckley had just ripped a succession of four novels in the decade prior. This book just didn’t quite deliver as consistently and was not as laugh out loud funny.
That said, it was a fairly quick read with some decent moments and snappy dialogue. Maybe there wasn’t enough material there like he thought there was, or maybe satire is becoming obsolete in this day of outrageousness
September 2, 2012
Buckley returns with a gripping book, full of tongue-in-cheek comments and making a complete mockery of a serious issue. He is a master at his comedic art and segments of the book are so filled with satirical dialogue that you'll not be able to help but laughing out loud.
When the US refuses to pay for a new set of high-tech military weapons, one American defence lobbyist goes to work to drum up war-like support, directed against RED CHINA. When the Dalai Lama falls ill, things begin to fall into place and the seed is planted. China does not sit idly by, though, drumming up their own ideological ideas to fan the flames set by American sentiment.
Buckley's antics are not to be played down, as he delivers one of his best novels to date. Do not read in Church, listen to it while driving in rush hour, or try to see the Sino-American relationship in a serious light after devouring this book. I know I didn't.
Kudos, Mr. Buckley. Fantastic work!
When the US refuses to pay for a new set of high-tech military weapons, one American defence lobbyist goes to work to drum up war-like support, directed against RED CHINA. When the Dalai Lama falls ill, things begin to fall into place and the seed is planted. China does not sit idly by, though, drumming up their own ideological ideas to fan the flames set by American sentiment.
Buckley's antics are not to be played down, as he delivers one of his best novels to date. Do not read in Church, listen to it while driving in rush hour, or try to see the Sino-American relationship in a serious light after devouring this book. I know I didn't.
Kudos, Mr. Buckley. Fantastic work!
March 1, 2022
Read this because I really wanted a smart, funny, political satire; and somehow enjoyed it despite it being neither smart, funny, nor particularly satirical.
I couldn't possibly tell you what I did like about it, and the way its (two, possibly two and a half) female characters are written is so bad it might actually be deliberate, but I got through 400-odd pages of it in a few days so there must be something there.
There's a subplot in it about the protagonist writing dreadful action novels, but the dialogue in those excerpts is actually pretty close to the dialogue in the rest of the book. Again, this might be deliberate - and if so then I am an idiot and Christopher Buckley is god? Maybe?? - but some of the back and forths are laughably bad. For a book that's 90% people in rooms having conversations that's... a lot of corn.
Oh, one thing I liked! It's basically an interconnecting series of two-person political dramas, each with its own motivation and agenda, but that all come together over the same thing. That's good! Very clever! The Chinese President and his little mate drinking whiskey in the toilet should have just been a (much much much shorter) book on its own.
Anyway, it's a nonsensical and hammy romp through the corridors of power, and if you can deal with absolutely everyone just being a wise-cracking man in a suit then you might enjoy it. I dunno, It's your life.
I couldn't possibly tell you what I did like about it, and the way its (two, possibly two and a half) female characters are written is so bad it might actually be deliberate, but I got through 400-odd pages of it in a few days so there must be something there.
There's a subplot in it about the protagonist writing dreadful action novels, but the dialogue in those excerpts is actually pretty close to the dialogue in the rest of the book. Again, this might be deliberate - and if so then I am an idiot and Christopher Buckley is god? Maybe?? - but some of the back and forths are laughably bad. For a book that's 90% people in rooms having conversations that's... a lot of corn.
Oh, one thing I liked! It's basically an interconnecting series of two-person political dramas, each with its own motivation and agenda, but that all come together over the same thing. That's good! Very clever! The Chinese President and his little mate drinking whiskey in the toilet should have just been a (much much much shorter) book on its own.
Anyway, it's a nonsensical and hammy romp through the corridors of power, and if you can deal with absolutely everyone just being a wise-cracking man in a suit then you might enjoy it. I dunno, It's your life.
July 10, 2012
I've admired Christopher Buckley's humorous short stories for years, having read a few when I used to subscribe to (and read) The New Yorker. It's been on my list to read one of his novels and I finally got around to that item this past week.
"They Eat Puppies, Don't They" is a brand of comic writing that is quite enjoyable for short bursts and sometimes longer stretches but ultimately, it didn't work for me over the length of several hundred pages. After the clever set up -- another of Buckley's anti-heros charged with some cynical job, in this case, a defense lobbyist attempting to drum up anti-China sentiment to help a weapons system get Congressional approval -- the story slows down and gets tedious.
What kept me going was thinking there was some big "bang" coming, some hilariously outrageous extreme ending, and perhaps that is what Buckley was going for, but I came to the last chapter and thought, that's it?
I don't know if this novel is representative of his work but I was a bit disappointed. The wit and fun are there for a good bit of the book but not sustained.
"They Eat Puppies, Don't They" is a brand of comic writing that is quite enjoyable for short bursts and sometimes longer stretches but ultimately, it didn't work for me over the length of several hundred pages. After the clever set up -- another of Buckley's anti-heros charged with some cynical job, in this case, a defense lobbyist attempting to drum up anti-China sentiment to help a weapons system get Congressional approval -- the story slows down and gets tedious.
What kept me going was thinking there was some big "bang" coming, some hilariously outrageous extreme ending, and perhaps that is what Buckley was going for, but I came to the last chapter and thought, that's it?
I don't know if this novel is representative of his work but I was a bit disappointed. The wit and fun are there for a good bit of the book but not sustained.
January 3, 2019
There are no sacred cows for a satirist like Christopher Buckley. In his 2012 novel They Eat Puppies, Don’t They? Buckley even knocked off the poor old Dalai Lama, one of the most beloved spiritual leaders in the world. Well, beloved as long as you’re not Chinese, I suppose. They Eat Puppies, Don’t They? focuses on tensions between the United States and China. The main character is a defense lobbyist and “would-be novelist,” Walter “Bird” McIntyre. Bird’s latest assignment is working with Angel Templeton, director of the Institute for Continuing Conflict, to foment anti-Chinese sentiment. With the Dalai Lama currently in a hospital in Rome, Bird and Angel decide to plant the story that the Chinese attempted to poison him. As Bird says, “Who needs evidence when you’ve got the Internet?” (p.49)
When the novel takes us to Beijing, and the tables of the Politburo Standing Committee, it turns out that there are hardline members of the Committee who would like nothing better than to see the Dalai Lama poisoned. The Chinese President is the mild-mannered consensus builder Fa Mengyao, whose nickname is “Cool Limpidity.” Throughout the novel we see how he handles the more militant members of the Committee, the minister of state security and the minister of national defense.
Bird McIntyre is quite an entertaining protagonist, and while in the beginning Bird might seem reminiscent of lobbyist Nick Naylor from Buckley’s excellent novel Thank You for Smoking, I quickly started imagining the actor John Krasinski as Bird, and then I stopped comparing Bird to Nick Naylor. Bird is proud of the fact that he made Washington magazine’s list of “Washington’s Ten Least Despicable Lobbyists.” (p.27) Buckley saddles Bird with some humorous issues, as he owns a farm in Virginia where his wife Myndi is obsessively training to make the U.S. equestrian team. Bird also has a younger brother Bewks, who is a Confederate Civil War reenactor—even though Bird’s family is from the North. As Bird delicately asks Bewks, “Do you and the boys ever reflect on the fact that you’re fighting on the slavery side?” (p.40)
Bird’s terrible novels that he writes on the side were one of my favorite parts of the book. It’s always fun to read a good writer writing deliberately bad prose, and Buckley more than delivers. Bird’s novels have amazing titles: The Armageddon Infiltration, The Armageddon Immolation and The Armageddon Exfiltration. “He banged away on novels full of manly men with names like Turk and Rufus, of terrible yet really cool weapons, of beautiful but deadly women with names like Tatiana and Jade, who could be neither trusted nor resisted. Heady stuff.” (p.10) Late in the novel, Bird asks himself, “Where did sentences like that come from? No, don’t ask. Keep going.” (p.252) I suspect that Bird’s novels are modeled after the techno-thrillers of Tom Clancy, with whom Buckley had a brief feud. (You can read more about that in Buckley’s 1997 collection Wry Martinis.)
There are many great lines scattered throughout They Eat Puppies, one of my favorite was Fa saying, “Privacy? We’re Communists. Don’t you know we don’t believe in privacy?” (p.201) Another great exchange was Myndi criticizing Bird’s wardrobe choice: “These are people with taste.” Bird’s response: “No, darling, they’re people with money.” (p.117)
Since the publication of They Eat Puppies, Don’t They? in 2012, Buckley has published two comedic historical novels, The Relic Master and The Judge Hunter. In interviews, Buckley has spoken about wanting to continue in this historical vein, so it’s possible that They Eat Puppies, Don’t They? might be the last of his Washington D.C. satires. If so, Buckley seems to have picked the exact right moment to leave the Beltway behind, as the events that have transpired there for the last couple of years seem completely beyond satire.
When the novel takes us to Beijing, and the tables of the Politburo Standing Committee, it turns out that there are hardline members of the Committee who would like nothing better than to see the Dalai Lama poisoned. The Chinese President is the mild-mannered consensus builder Fa Mengyao, whose nickname is “Cool Limpidity.” Throughout the novel we see how he handles the more militant members of the Committee, the minister of state security and the minister of national defense.
Bird McIntyre is quite an entertaining protagonist, and while in the beginning Bird might seem reminiscent of lobbyist Nick Naylor from Buckley’s excellent novel Thank You for Smoking, I quickly started imagining the actor John Krasinski as Bird, and then I stopped comparing Bird to Nick Naylor. Bird is proud of the fact that he made Washington magazine’s list of “Washington’s Ten Least Despicable Lobbyists.” (p.27) Buckley saddles Bird with some humorous issues, as he owns a farm in Virginia where his wife Myndi is obsessively training to make the U.S. equestrian team. Bird also has a younger brother Bewks, who is a Confederate Civil War reenactor—even though Bird’s family is from the North. As Bird delicately asks Bewks, “Do you and the boys ever reflect on the fact that you’re fighting on the slavery side?” (p.40)
Bird’s terrible novels that he writes on the side were one of my favorite parts of the book. It’s always fun to read a good writer writing deliberately bad prose, and Buckley more than delivers. Bird’s novels have amazing titles: The Armageddon Infiltration, The Armageddon Immolation and The Armageddon Exfiltration. “He banged away on novels full of manly men with names like Turk and Rufus, of terrible yet really cool weapons, of beautiful but deadly women with names like Tatiana and Jade, who could be neither trusted nor resisted. Heady stuff.” (p.10) Late in the novel, Bird asks himself, “Where did sentences like that come from? No, don’t ask. Keep going.” (p.252) I suspect that Bird’s novels are modeled after the techno-thrillers of Tom Clancy, with whom Buckley had a brief feud. (You can read more about that in Buckley’s 1997 collection Wry Martinis.)
There are many great lines scattered throughout They Eat Puppies, one of my favorite was Fa saying, “Privacy? We’re Communists. Don’t you know we don’t believe in privacy?” (p.201) Another great exchange was Myndi criticizing Bird’s wardrobe choice: “These are people with taste.” Bird’s response: “No, darling, they’re people with money.” (p.117)
Since the publication of They Eat Puppies, Don’t They? in 2012, Buckley has published two comedic historical novels, The Relic Master and The Judge Hunter. In interviews, Buckley has spoken about wanting to continue in this historical vein, so it’s possible that They Eat Puppies, Don’t They? might be the last of his Washington D.C. satires. If so, Buckley seems to have picked the exact right moment to leave the Beltway behind, as the events that have transpired there for the last couple of years seem completely beyond satire.
June 4, 2019
A book about politics, humor, and assassination of the Dalai Lama involving the CIA and the White House should have been my cup of tea. But I have to say, I cannot give a good review of the book. The lines in the book seemed funny with a zing, but they lacked substance and were hollow. The plot felt too messy and don't get me started with characters (Bird and Angel Templeton) who were as interesting as my shoelaces. The weird thing was that they, the characters, the funny lines, and the plot were made from the right parts and I should have loved them, but I couldn't. I think this book lacks soul, that passion and heart for the story that makes it lovable.
June 12, 2017
This is funny but I'm starting to see a pattern after reading this and "Thank You for Smoking." Rich neo-con puts his lobbyist money over the good of the country under the guise of making the country more "free." There's probably another neo-con he inevitably falls for. The first neo-con gets to keep lobbying (get it??!?!). It's still funny and "on-point," but I know Buckley has more range - I just hope he doesn't lean into this motif too much.
March 4, 2013
It’s not only obvious but unfair to say that Christopher Buckley is no Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. In fact, he’s not even the sublimely weird and funny Christopher Moore. This book-length satire is laborious, obvious and intent on winning nothing more than the brief chuckle. I suspect that novels like this and others of his that didn’t much impress me--like SUPREME COURTSHIP and FLORENCE OF ARABIA (THANK YOU FOR SMOKING produced a good movie, at least!)--will have, in the timescale of Literature, the relative shelf-life of mangoes.
To gin up anti-China hysteria, amoral defense industry lobbyist “Bird” McIntyre partners (in every sense) with ultra-right-wing think-tanker Angel Templeton, an Ann Coulter type who “may have been sent here by the Dark Lord himself, in the vanguard of the apocalypse” (p284). Thanks to today’s surfeit of Fox News talk shows and propagandizing bloviators, the behavior and world view of these so-called “Oreo-Cons” intent on perpetual warfare simply isn’t exaggerated enough to constitute black comedy. It’s all too easy to imagine tuning in to one of the Sunday “news” shows to find Ms Templeton and her “puppy-eating” nemesis Winnie Chang in matching mini-skirts and pearls, trying to verbally cut each other’s throat. Also, Bird’s obsessive hobby of writing unpublishable Tom-Clancy-style techo-thrillers, bad as they seem, isn’t truly zany in light of the “Blackford Oakes” series written by the author’s late “Pup,” William F. Buckley, Jr.
In China, beleaguered President Fa (overly humane for his job) & his loyal faucet-turning aide Gang try to stave off a Standing Committee coup that wants to take advantage of the U.S. freelancers’ agitprop over the supposed poisoning of the Dalai Lama. This storyline is neither funny nor sufficiently dramatic.
Some of the minor characters are the most fun: like Bird’s brother Bewks, a “living history” performer (i.e., Civil War re-enactor) and White House national security guru and ultra-Boston Brahmin Rogers Fancock (his dad’s first name, of course, is “Hancock”).
THEY EAT PUPPIES, DON'T THEY? owes such an obvious debt to Terry Southern and “Dr. Strangelove” (those one-sided, Bob Newhartesque “red phone” conversations!) that I was relieved to see Southern & Stanley Kubrick acknowledged in the author’s notes at the end.
To gin up anti-China hysteria, amoral defense industry lobbyist “Bird” McIntyre partners (in every sense) with ultra-right-wing think-tanker Angel Templeton, an Ann Coulter type who “may have been sent here by the Dark Lord himself, in the vanguard of the apocalypse” (p284). Thanks to today’s surfeit of Fox News talk shows and propagandizing bloviators, the behavior and world view of these so-called “Oreo-Cons” intent on perpetual warfare simply isn’t exaggerated enough to constitute black comedy. It’s all too easy to imagine tuning in to one of the Sunday “news” shows to find Ms Templeton and her “puppy-eating” nemesis Winnie Chang in matching mini-skirts and pearls, trying to verbally cut each other’s throat. Also, Bird’s obsessive hobby of writing unpublishable Tom-Clancy-style techo-thrillers, bad as they seem, isn’t truly zany in light of the “Blackford Oakes” series written by the author’s late “Pup,” William F. Buckley, Jr.
In China, beleaguered President Fa (overly humane for his job) & his loyal faucet-turning aide Gang try to stave off a Standing Committee coup that wants to take advantage of the U.S. freelancers’ agitprop over the supposed poisoning of the Dalai Lama. This storyline is neither funny nor sufficiently dramatic.
Some of the minor characters are the most fun: like Bird’s brother Bewks, a “living history” performer (i.e., Civil War re-enactor) and White House national security guru and ultra-Boston Brahmin Rogers Fancock (his dad’s first name, of course, is “Hancock”).
THEY EAT PUPPIES, DON'T THEY? owes such an obvious debt to Terry Southern and “Dr. Strangelove” (those one-sided, Bob Newhartesque “red phone” conversations!) that I was relieved to see Southern & Stanley Kubrick acknowledged in the author’s notes at the end.
June 2, 2012
I highly recommend this entertaining, timely novel by top-notch political satirist Christopher Buckley. The book involves a secret plot to stir up American public feeling against China so a defense company can sell more high-tech weapons to the U.S. government - that explains the inflammatory title, "The Eat Puppies, Don't they?"
This plot also involves the fate of the Dalai Lama, bunch of Confederate Civil War re-enactors and a terrifying Ann Coulter-esque figure called Angel Templeton. a war-mongerer who runs the Institute for Continuing Conflict. While the story and dialogue are laugh-out-loud funny, the political machinations are scarily plausible. They Eat Puppies also features a rogue but likable lobbyist and PR whiz who bears a close resemblance to the hero of Buckley's previous bestselling novel (and Hollywood movie), Thank You For Smoking. A fabulous summer read that also makes you think.
This plot also involves the fate of the Dalai Lama, bunch of Confederate Civil War re-enactors and a terrifying Ann Coulter-esque figure called Angel Templeton. a war-mongerer who runs the Institute for Continuing Conflict. While the story and dialogue are laugh-out-loud funny, the political machinations are scarily plausible. They Eat Puppies also features a rogue but likable lobbyist and PR whiz who bears a close resemblance to the hero of Buckley's previous bestselling novel (and Hollywood movie), Thank You For Smoking. A fabulous summer read that also makes you think.
May 8, 2012
The clever Mr. Buckley is back with another one of his satiric novels, this one dealing with the hawks in the defense industry and their desire to scapegoat China. But, as often happens with satire, this work descends into mockery at more than one point and it hurts the humorous passages. At one section he seems to forget he's writing a novel and spends several paragraphs explaining a bit of coinage, as if you're reading one of his Daily Beast columns. And when he does elicit emotions in his characters like sadness or regret it is rarely believable. They are too worldly and cynical for that.
With those negatives out of the way, Buckley still has the charm and erudition to satisfy readers and admirers of his previous works. The laughs may be fewer but even a mediocre turn of his is funnier than the best efforts of others.
With those negatives out of the way, Buckley still has the charm and erudition to satisfy readers and admirers of his previous works. The laughs may be fewer but even a mediocre turn of his is funnier than the best efforts of others.
July 2, 2012
This book had some hilarious moments. The novel that Bird is working on, for example, is truly, truly awful. I cannot tell you how much I looked forward to the excerpts. How often do you get a character with a name like Rex "Stud" Something.
I found the parts with the wife (Mitzi) somewhat tiring, and more than a little predictable. In short, I felt the same way at the end of this book that I felt at the end of the original "Total Recall". Which may or may not be a spoiler.
I thought I saw where the book was going, and it turned out I was completely wrong. Didn't make me enjoy the book less, but it wasn't as clutch-your-sides funny as "The White House Mess".
I found the parts with the wife (Mitzi) somewhat tiring, and more than a little predictable. In short, I felt the same way at the end of this book that I felt at the end of the original "Total Recall". Which may or may not be a spoiler.
I thought I saw where the book was going, and it turned out I was completely wrong. Didn't make me enjoy the book less, but it wasn't as clutch-your-sides funny as "The White House Mess".
March 15, 2015
Как большому поклоннику популярных теории заговоров о том, что Китай скоро ненасильственно захватит мир, а Америка мечтает всех убить мне эта история показалась просто очаровательной. Явная сатира на всем знакомые типажи, абсолютное безумие всего происходящего и изящный "хороший" конец. Хотя книга и написана в 2012, до сих пор по сути ничего не изменилось. Она все еще на 100 % акуальна и в нынешней политической неразберихе смотрится свежо,забавно и к месту.
February 22, 2016
I've been a fan of Christopher Buckley since college and have now finished almost all his books. They Eat Puppies, Don't They? is both hysterical and the perfect compliment to feeling like you're going crazy with the current situation of American and global politics (although this is sadly rather timeless in that regard as well). Laughed out loud multiple times and made me miss my hometown a bit..
February 5, 2017
Still one of the best satirists this nation has to offer.
June 21, 2012
Very funny book! It was farfetched and hilarious but grounded by reality which is actually a little scary. My only criticism is the ending felt a bit abrupt. This was my first Christopher Buckley Book and I will definitely be reading others when I am in the mood for a laugh.
December 29, 2014
This was definitely well paced and certainly was fun. The ending was a little tidy, other than some bits of the ending that didn't really seem to fit with much and didn't seem to have much reason for being, but still. It was fun, and of course you have to love the pug on the cover.
July 24, 2012
Highly entertaining and easy to read.
November 5, 2013
This book was so freaking funny and kind of scary because it is totally believable. There's not really much I can say about it other than that.
March 2, 2017
Sometimes literature turns out to have prognostication powers. Don DeLillo’s Mao II is one of the great post 9/11 novels, yet it’s written before the event. And few books made better sense of the dreamy, detached-from-reality mood of the Reagan presidency than Jerzy Kosinski’s Being There, also written before Reagan’s ascent to office.
To a lesser degree, and with less literary merit than those others, Buckley’s novel anticipates our current moment of fake news and the alternative facts crisis. This one tells the story of a public relations flak for a defense contracting company who gets charged with trying to whip up anti-China hysteria in order to secure funding for an unknown massive new project. He begins his project by asserting – entirely without fact – that China is behind a recent health scare for the Dalai Lama.
And then the plan spirals out of control. It turns out the Dalai Lama is indeed quite ill, but it serves various conflicting interests to claim that China really did go after him. We get different factions of China’s governing council who accuse and counter-accuse in order to jostle for authority. We get CIA spooks who foment and then undermine the rumors all in the service of their different agendas.
When this book is at its best, it’s a whirlwind of almost plausible stories that conflict with one another. We’re never allowed to forget that the central claim of the competing stories is fundamentally false, but we’re also brought to see that such a truth hardly matters after a while. Once the story begins to circulate, it has a real-world gravity. It’s a lie that has traction, an alternative fact that causes things to happen in the real world.
This one is probably a notch weaker than Buckley’s Thank You For Smoking, but it shares the same sharp humor and deep-seeded concern with the nature of, for lack of a better word, bullshit in the heart of our culture. That one takes more joy in the outrageousness of the lies in play, but both deal with the fundamental observation that we’re shielded from being able to make thoughtful policy by the power of the bullshit around us.
I’m never quite sure of Buckley’s politics. Since he’s the son of 1960s and 1970s Number One Conservative William F., it’s hard to imagine him as a progressive (unless he’s living out a serious Oedipal experience). At the same time, he isn’t pushing for hardline matters either. He seems to see much military spending as wasteful, yet he also seems to have respect for good government. There’s no knee-jerk impulse to decry all government as too much government.
In the end, the message is mostly hopeful. Beneath the cynicism of his characters lies a real hope that we might someday get to a point where we can distinguish the lies of the unprincipled from the truths we ought to be weighing.
At this historical moment, that’s a progressive political claim. In the bigger picture, though, it seems a more philosophical – more politically neutral – notion. You don’t have to be a Social Democrat to believe that good government depends upon access to the truth. That insight, thoughtful and comic as we get it here, is timely today and, given that it’s more than four years old now, eerily prescient.
To a lesser degree, and with less literary merit than those others, Buckley’s novel anticipates our current moment of fake news and the alternative facts crisis. This one tells the story of a public relations flak for a defense contracting company who gets charged with trying to whip up anti-China hysteria in order to secure funding for an unknown massive new project. He begins his project by asserting – entirely without fact – that China is behind a recent health scare for the Dalai Lama.
And then the plan spirals out of control. It turns out the Dalai Lama is indeed quite ill, but it serves various conflicting interests to claim that China really did go after him. We get different factions of China’s governing council who accuse and counter-accuse in order to jostle for authority. We get CIA spooks who foment and then undermine the rumors all in the service of their different agendas.
When this book is at its best, it’s a whirlwind of almost plausible stories that conflict with one another. We’re never allowed to forget that the central claim of the competing stories is fundamentally false, but we’re also brought to see that such a truth hardly matters after a while. Once the story begins to circulate, it has a real-world gravity. It’s a lie that has traction, an alternative fact that causes things to happen in the real world.
This one is probably a notch weaker than Buckley’s Thank You For Smoking, but it shares the same sharp humor and deep-seeded concern with the nature of, for lack of a better word, bullshit in the heart of our culture. That one takes more joy in the outrageousness of the lies in play, but both deal with the fundamental observation that we’re shielded from being able to make thoughtful policy by the power of the bullshit around us.
I’m never quite sure of Buckley’s politics. Since he’s the son of 1960s and 1970s Number One Conservative William F., it’s hard to imagine him as a progressive (unless he’s living out a serious Oedipal experience). At the same time, he isn’t pushing for hardline matters either. He seems to see much military spending as wasteful, yet he also seems to have respect for good government. There’s no knee-jerk impulse to decry all government as too much government.
In the end, the message is mostly hopeful. Beneath the cynicism of his characters lies a real hope that we might someday get to a point where we can distinguish the lies of the unprincipled from the truths we ought to be weighing.
At this historical moment, that’s a progressive political claim. In the bigger picture, though, it seems a more philosophical – more politically neutral – notion. You don’t have to be a Social Democrat to believe that good government depends upon access to the truth. That insight, thoughtful and comic as we get it here, is timely today and, given that it’s more than four years old now, eerily prescient.
May 11, 2025
I was interested in the set-up of a political satire set between the US and China's dealings with the Dalai Lama, but things didn't fall quite in the right place for me. I'm not sure what drove me to finish the book other than spite, but between the 50 and 100-page mark I was close to DNF-ing.
The US side of the conflict is definitely in the style of Aaron Sorkin walk-and-talks, but they come across as less witty, and more mean-spirited. Limited dialogue tags, or much of any narrative, made it difficult to really understand what anyone was doing or how they were thinking. I much preferred the perspective in China, and enjoyed President Fa's POV.
Bird is just not my kind of protagonist. His writing bleeds to close to the books' style, it was hard to get a good look at how he really thought of things, and the outcomes of the walk-and-talks were never fully explored until much much later.
The US side of the conflict is definitely in the style of Aaron Sorkin walk-and-talks, but they come across as less witty, and more mean-spirited. Limited dialogue tags, or much of any narrative, made it difficult to really understand what anyone was doing or how they were thinking. I much preferred the perspective in China, and enjoyed President Fa's POV.
Bird is just not my kind of protagonist. His writing bleeds to close to the books' style, it was hard to get a good look at how he really thought of things, and the outcomes of the walk-and-talks were never fully explored until much much later.
August 11, 2017
Christopher Buckley has the imagination of a child with a reporter's style and skills. This is the second novel I've read by him and once again it is humorous but believable. I found some of the names of characters corny, especially Angel's, but I enjoyed the multiple points of view Buckley provided. Walter "Bird" McIntyre is a lobbyist for a major weapons company, his job is to stir up anti-chines sentiment among the American people. How? By convincing them China wants the head of the Dalai Lama! President Fa, of China, had a particularly interesting side of the story to tell. It's more serious, in contrast to Bird's, but still made me laugh. I also loved Bird's brother, a civil war reenact who lives the life of a 19th century man every day. Some parts of the ending are a little farfetched, but Buckley does an excellent job of connecting all the dots for us in the end.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 364 reviews